373 - How Good Negotiators Actually Win!

0:00Let's talk about how good negotiators actually win. So here's the truth. Most people think they know how to negotiate, but sadly, they have no idea. They talk too much, they don't prepare, and they panic when they are asked something difficult. If that describes you, do not worry. Today, I'm going to show you how to fix it. First, listening. And that's the skill that wins more deals than anything else. People think negotiation is talking, but it's not. Negotiation is listening. You learn far more by letting the other side speak than you will ever learn by filling the silence with your own voice.

0:44I see this constantly with mentees. They think they need to impress or justify or just have their way in a deal, and in the process they talk themselves out of the deal. Listening does three essential things. First, it builds trust, hopefully. It reveals the other person's real concerns if you ask qualifying questions, and it buys you time if you don't know what to say. When someone states a concern, pause and let them finish. Listen for what they're really saying. Silence is not your enemy. It is where the deal reveals itself. And if you don't understand what they are saying, ask them. You know, I'm not sure I understand what you mean by that kind of thing.

1:32Preparation. The difference between control and chaos. Preparation is not, or should be not, optional. It is what separates a professional from an amateur. Before any meeting, you must know the following. What is the purpose of this meeting? You'd be amazed how many people go into a meeting and don't know that. What is the exact desired outcome you want, and what objections do you expect, and how are you going to address them? which team members should be in the room or on the call, what documents or proof points support your position. I say this often. It's a military term. Prior planning prevents piss-poor performance, the six Ps.

2:16If you walk into a meeting without preparation, the meeting will take control of you. When you prepare, you control the direction, you control the conversation, and often you control the outcome. Deals are often won or lost before you enter the room. And self-image and self-confidence has a lot to do with that too. So how to answer questions you don't know, and there are going to be some of those. Here is where many people fail. They get asked a question, they do not know, and they freeze. They sit there quietly, hoping the moment will pass, but it won't. And silence is that scenario communicates uncertainty and inexperience.

3:00Instead, try this. Ask a clarifying question. If a seller says, a 10-year loan term is too long, I will not accept that. Don't freeze, but say, what term would you like? Or help me understand what works for you, something like that. This does three powerful things. One, it keeps you in the conversation. It gives the other side a chance to define their position, and oftentimes you might misunderstand it, and it gives you time to think, which is super important. When in doubt, ask a clarifying question. It's the safest and the smartest move in any negotiation. And then bring the right people to the meeting.

3:43You cannot win a negotiation alone. You need a strong team behind you. That's the reason that you built the board that you have. That person oftentimes includes a chairperson who can handle tough questions and advisors who understand their industry. Showing up without the right people sends the wrong signal. It implies you're unprepared and not serious, and it forces you into answering questions that someone else should be answering. And whatever you do, don't bullshit your way through a question. If you don't know and you truly don't know, say, you know what, that's a great question. I don't know the answer.

4:27I'm not going to give you something that I'm not sure of, so let me get back to you on that, and then get back to them on that. Preparation includes planning who should be in the room and what role they should play. And if this is a physical meeting, just because someone can't be in the meeting physically doesn't mean that you can't set them up on a Zoom link or a phone call and tie them in that way. And then lastly, sales skills matter more than you think. For those who have not been through our sales summit training, keep an eye out for Black Friday email. If you are not on my email list, go to brucewhipple.com, grab the free report, and that'll put you on it.

5:15But sales skills matter in acquisitions. They matter a lot. Sales is not pressure. Sales is listening, clarifying, presenting clearly, and guiding the conversation towards the outcome you want. You want to understand what is important to the other person and then match your offer to that. If you want to close deals faster, get better at listening, get better preparation, and get better at staying calm when you do not know the answer. What do you mean by that kind of answer? Or can you explain that? I'm confused by what you mean. Or what would you like? All of those things are ways to do that. So if you take anything away from this podcast, let it be this.

5:58Deals are won by preparation. Deals are won by listening. And deals are won by staying poised when you are asked something you do not know. Most people think they know how to negotiate. Very few actually do. But with preparation, strong listening skills, and the ability to clarify rather than freeze, and having a good team around you, you will be among the few who do. So I hope that's helpful. Again, keep your eyes open for the Black Friday offer on the Sales Summit. It's a good offer, so do that. But yes, remember those things in this podcast. I would take some notes. I would write them down.

6:42And I would make sure that going forward, you work on those things, which will improve your odds.