Hello, Matworld! (Friends)

0:00all right friends welcome to changeloggin friends the weekly talk show about building worlds Big thank you to our friends over at fly.io. That is the home of changelog.com. Learn more at fly.io. Okay, let's talk.

0:41Well, friends, it's all about faster builds. Teams with faster builds ship faster and win over the competition. It's just science. And I'm here with Kyle Galbraith, co-founder and CEO of Depot. Okay, so Kyle, based on the premise that most teams want faster builds, that's probably a truth. If they're using CI providers with their stock configuration or GitHub actions, are they wrong? Are they not getting the fastest builds possible? I would take it a step further and say if you're using any CI provider with just the basic things that they give you, which is if you think about a CI provider, it is in essence a lowest common denominator generic VM.

1:21And then you're left to your own devices to essentially configure that VM and configure your build pipeline, effectively pushing down to you, the developer, the responsibility of optimizing and making those builds fast. Making them fast, making them secure, making them cost effective, like all pushed down to you. The problem with modern day CI providers is there's still a set of features and a set of capabilities that a CI provider could give a developer that makes their builds more performant out of the box, makes their builds more cost effective out of the box and more secure out of the box.

1:58I think a lot of folks adopt GitHub Actions for its ease of implementation and being close to where their source code already lives inside of GitHub. And they do care about build performance and they do put in the work to optimize those builds. But fundamentally, CI providers today don't prioritize performance. Performance is not a top level entity inside of generic CI providers. Yes. Okay, friends, save your time, get faster builds with Depot, Docker builds, faster GitHub action runners, and distributed remote caching for Bazel, Go, Gradle, Turbo Repo, and more. Depot is on a mission to give you back your dev time and help you get faster build times with a one-line code change.

2:38Learn more at depot.dev. Get started with a seven-day free trial. No credit card required. Again, depot.dev.

2:51I was in a different Dan Tan recently. Where? And it was just a typical Dan Tan. So cool. So cool. But he's not going to tell us where it was. It was too cool. I've seen some amazing downtowns in America. I've traveled I'm very well traveled I'm sorry downtowns I'm not familiar do you mean Dan Tans Dan Tans thank you yeah so I've visited lots of them and there's some really lovely ones in Colorado there's like proper olden days oh yeah probably all over all across the country that's right where you feel like you're in a western film break that down for me when you say proper and then olden days what does that mean oh it just means like for real olden days like the wild west movies that you've seen just break it down break it down it's just right so you've got like all the way there's basically like a lot of dusty area wooden like buildings wooden building saloon doors right there's a guy in there chewing tobacco yeah you see any uh any of those what do you call those things um tumbleweed tumbleweeds yeah not dust bunnies but tumbleweeds just rolling through yeah well i i get a lot of them in my normal life as well really yeah just after a joke or a witty remark sometimes i'll um do a little little rye little comment something and then you know just silence for a bit you can hear it blow past um but adds to the effect i think i think about crickets yeah same same thing tumbleweeds and crickets if you submit if you make a joke and no one laughs you can if you listen carefully you can hear a game of cricket being played okay one of those rare things yeah i would never play cricket no see now here again is a misfire because i was talking about crickets which is what you hear when you tell a joke when nobody laughs silence where'd you go matt where did you visit here in the states the these the state of colorado oh yeah well i lived i used to live there in denver and in boulder boulder colorado yeah say boulder how do you say boulder well i say boulder say it again boulder can you say balder dash i can say boulder dash but i can oh boulder dash yeah but i can't say sounds cooler when you say it i don't think so to me you you you're the cool ones i that's why i think we have a friendship because we sound cool to you and you sound cool to us and it kind of just makes up for our overall lack of yeah i mean if you if you sound like me i would just wouldn't like you you know yeah but you said like adam i can't believe someone exists who talks like you at all like that's a thrill for me imagine that it's like being in a movie it's awesome adam i guess so what is it about his voice is it the mellifluous sounds is it the words he's using or the combination yeah it's just the whole sort of package really he has the entire package yeah the whole package yeah I love that yeah well you know ditto Matt I mean I think if we had a world where your voice didn't exist it would not be Matt's world my world my voice we're getting ahead of ourselves or perhaps we're trying to get ahead of ourselves because perhaps a world where Jared's in charge Matt's voice also wouldn't exist let's not reveal any spoilers matt you brought a strange idea to us today actually didn't bring it to us today but you brought it for today sure did which is what i'm coming over here's some toys and and why and how did you come up with it and why are we agreeing to it well the wine we're why you the whying we're agreeing that's on you uh and i do think whying i do think whying is should be a word i need that and but you can't just make up words like that can you you people look at you strangely or there's a tumbleweed let's introduce it why what does it break down to mean like is it like when you're thinking about something that's the process of whying you're thinking about why it should or should not be a thing you're whying it you're like trying to figure it out yeah yeah why is that yeah you're worrying it you think kind of like howing sometimes you how something other times you why so you're whying or you're howing sometimes you're whoing yeah well if i owned the world i'd be able to just make these new words anything i like um you know if someone's eating a sausage i could say yeah sausage like i could make that socially normal in this world that one's not that weird no it's not it doesn't have to be weird it's just what i like tell me that's a throwback to your time in germany oh yeah berlin when they were all calling you bad names oh yeah yeah yeah i love berlin um isn't it because you said some other sausage though wasn't there something involved with sausage yeah he said yeah sausage and they said what'd they say man yeah they're like oh we don't really we don't want to just be associated with that we've got a lot going on also so yeah and that's fair enough didn't some lady call you a donka yeah everyone was saying like danke danke danke um but originally i thought they were calling me names yeah but i didn't know that that just means thank you it does probably for leaving probably thanking you for leaving well they're a lot more polite than i was the sausage bit the sausage bit well if you're not tracking you should go back in time and listen to past shows we can't catch up yeah that's just a callback that's just too deep in the stack it is a deep cut you're gonna overflow matt there's a strange dichotomy with british people and you're my best example because i know you probably better than any british person and that's this politeness juxtaposed with tomfoolery or like just calling names and being mean yeah so yeah what's up with that it's like there's like a polite society aspect and a properness and there's also like this underhanded i'm going to call you a name you're not going to realize it's a bad word yes well i think what's really going on is um we there is the politeness thing where if you bump into somebody in the street you say sorry even if they've bumped into you but you're not you're not really it's not in the same way that you might say sorry in other places where you're sort of taking responsibility you're not you're not everyone knows it was their fault now they have to also say sorry and then and then everything's okay just socially it's the social sorry might mean like it's your fault and we both know it yeah it's like oh sorry it's but it's almost like a polite way of just acknowledging something's happened that shouldn't have happened and you you both say it and then everything's okay and then you haven't really had to assign blame or anything you can kind of just get and sweep it under the carpet yeah but if the second person doesn't say the sorry back and it was their fault that's that's the worst thing that it can happen on the street or one of them was fighting words fighting non-words kind of yeah yeah although in london in london people are from everywhere so you can never really assume but if it's a british person that bumps into you and then you say oh sorry and then they don't say sorry they just look at you or just carry on with their lives they've crossed the line that you assume they're a tourist then maybe you know maybe those guys those folks are tourists and everyone else is brits and those are the people that say yeah although in london in london everyone's from everywhere so it's kind of like you can't be from everywhere you have to be from one place generally you just walk around being upset then basically no you just sort of get on with it don't you but then there's the banter side where you basically try and be it's a way of making friends as you sort of mean to strangers sometimes right and if it's friends too right oh definitely more mean to your friends than the art of strangers yeah yeah which explains why you're not very nice to me very often i take it as a compliment sir yeah you should do do but you have american friends that are just always just nice to you and just just say nice things like oh neat hat jared stuff i'm gonna prefer it but you know those people are hard to find oh neat hat neat hat jared neat hat jared thank you sir i like the word proper you know I assume it's in the place of the word good or I'm going to get something nice or the best.

11:19It's like real. Yeah. If it's proper, yeah. It's like, you know, imagine there's like a traditional way of making something. Yeah, it's authentic. And someone makes it that authentic way. You'd be like, oh, that's a proper drink. Or someone will sometimes come out with a cup of tea that they've made and it's horrible because it's too strong. And they're like, that's a proper cup of tea. Go on, get that down here. Get that down here. What do you say when it's not good? No, they just say it's proper, but they say it in the way that you know they mean the opposite. It's like the sorry thing. Then you say, danke.

11:54So, would you guys like to come to Matt World? Oh, yes. I'm sorry. That was a proper sidetracking. We sidetracked you. Back to Matt World. This is a world in which you decide, or what do you decide, Matt? What happens? Yeah. so i'm gonna take you to matt world and it's basically a place that i've just sort of designed it's my planet i get to choose what it's like there um you know there's going to be interesting places there's going to be some some interesting food and drink to explore and then maybe a new gadget a new rule for society and then something that you would just you just like to be a little bit different just like maybe it's like this world but you would like it to be slightly tweaked what would you do yeah okay so this is the idea here of course we have jared's world and adam's world waiting in the wings to visiting but this is matt's idea and you are our guest so you go first take us to matt world what is this place like matt world let's go let's go get in your rocket um put your seat belts on we're gonna take off it now in the unlikely event of an emergency i want you to sort out your own masks first that's very important don't be helping someone else oxygen mask okay don't i thought we had to sort our masks like we had more than one of them we're going to sort them by size or something oh i see yeah no this is a british sorry i'll do the american yeah please do that version after yeah um well if you're feeling unwell there's a little tiny little bag in the seat in front of you in your seat pocket in front of you uh so if you could please use that it's it's really tiny though so don't do any big just a little bit yeah just do a little one sounds like wayne's world remember that if you're gonna spew spew into this oh yeah oh yeah that guy that guy designed a lot of our uh hospitality on board the rockets to matt world yeah because it's a kind of funny world it's you know it's kind of silly isn't it's going to be my world yeah i hope you enjoy your time with remember to please visit the dungeon for over engineers this is a place where uh if you've over engineer things and make loads of complexity where it's not needed you go in this dungeon it's a simple thing um harsh but but fair i think you know you have to build an mvp before you're legally allowed to build anything more complicated otherwise you might not be able to build mvps and that's that's why we have the dungeon of over engineers any questions about this this place how do you get out you just have to build something really simple oh but good like a fizz buzz or he can do hello world try i don't know about hello well does it get any simpler than that hello matt world you could do hello matt world i like that one okay so dungeon for over engineers and really small puke bags in the yeah but that's not part of the world oh i'm sorry I was just giving you the, that's just in case anyone's feeling unwell on the flight.

15:03Gotcha. When you get to Matworld, please, please do not forget to sample the delights of clever coffee. You play podcasts into the beans as they're growing. And then when you brew the coffee, that information actually can get into you, into you, into your body. Oh, wow. Asmosis. Kind of like that. Yeah. But through coffee. Um, and yeah, you get that. You just get the knowledge. So that's really cool. Like you'd be like, Oh, I want to learn about politics. I'll drink some politics coffee or maybe the Peruvian coffee. You can learn about Machu Picchu. Oh my gosh. Maybe it's the place. Yeah. Maybe.

15:46Would you like a cup? What would you have in your coffee? And wouldn't you like that? You could just have a coffee and you like getting API docs in your brain. Sounds kind of amazing. Actually. i'm wondering about how diluted it might be because you're really just passing water through the beans maybe if you actually ate the coffee beans you just become all-knowing yeah i think it's just like caffeine though it only lasts that long oh it goes away yeah you forget it not as cool now nowhere near as cool so so you just drink it for your morning like coding session and you all you just like know the stripe api inside out for instance if you're drinking stripes coffee and then you lose it later in the day.

16:27You lose it. It wears off. Yeah, but you might be like, oh, I'm going to write a Grafana dashboard. How do I do that? Let me drink the Grafana brew. And then you've got that. Oh, I've downloaded the wrong bit. Is this an advertisement? No, no, no. I'm just saying for another example. Another example. Gosh. No, this coffee doesn't exist. It's not an advert. It's not a real advert. It's not for sale. You can't play podcasts into coffee beans and then that information goes into the beans, as far as I know. Now, what if you played this podcast right here that we're recording into the coffee beans and then drank the coffee?

17:02What would you know afterwards? This entire, everything we talk about in this. Some high quality coffee. Yeah, when you order them, I think, you choose the audio file. They would call that proper coffee. That would be proper. Yeah. Okay, so Clever Coffee. This is your best beverage. That's the best beverage. What else you got? Yeah. Well, while you're here, please, please try, if you can, the falafel wraps. They're lovely. There's nothing special about them. Just love a falafel wrap. You have complete creative freedom to come up with anything that you want. You can't beat it, though. And you just go with a falafel.

17:40The only way I think you could beat a falafel wrap is if you had a headache and you made the falafel wrap also take away headaches. Why didn't you do that then? i mean you can do whatever you want here matt it's matt world yeah because i you i don't want to i don't have a headache okay yeah and plus there's going to be more regulations with that sort of food isn't there so i can't be possible what about the clever coffee i think they'd probably regulate that wouldn't they yeah they'd try but we're outsmarted them because we listen we've had a cup of uh business strategy what if you're drinking like the the business brew so speak and you get uh you know a comedic latte instead yeah you get to learn about comedy versus business you get a legal flat white and then you've got yourself uh yeah arms to the teeth really represent yourself in court what do they call those those bills deterministic builds no not deterministic where you know the build end to end reproducible reproducible builds you know you You have to be able to reproduce the fact that, you know, you've got to document what knowledge went into this coffee so that I'm not drinking some, you know, some of your politics.

18:55I just want to drink some business brew. Yeah, there we go. There's that whole... Don't be slipping them, you know, that proper politics up in here. No, that's it. There was that big scandal where they were worried about that because everyone just suddenly got into wearing mullets again and they were worried that someone had spiked the Glover coffee. They look lovely, but... I've been waiting for an explanation for this. Yeah, that's what it's coming from. That is plausible. Sneaking it in. That's how you got to do it right there. Microdosing. Microdosing the mullet coffee. Now, is it a podcast about mullets, though?

19:30So first you have to find a podcast about mullets, and you turn that into the coffee, and then people grow mullets. They're doing fade mullets now. Where you have, like, really high hair, a fade. and then it fades into a mullet of the back. Yeah, it's a good idea. Perms are back too. Boy perms. They're spiky fade mullets. Keep going, Matt. What else have you got? Well, I'd love to show you, well, you know, if you want to come into my house, sit down. Notice that the sofa doesn't have any legs. It's just floating. You're welcome. No, don't be scared. It's perfectly fine. Sit on it. It moves a bit more than normal, but sit down.

20:10That's not even it. so when you sit down the sofa it kind of moves a little bit well it does it doesn't have any legs yeah it's hovering but it moves when you sit on it it's got it's like suspension because is there any way to make it not move like the more expensive ones will are more steady loud is it displacing air underneath it no you just didn't sound it it just floats all right awesome yeah yeah levitates they would call that levitating actually what's the difference between levitating and floating oh that's a great question is that a great question yeah that is a great question i think that question is honestly never thought about that if you're floating i think it's two different words that mean essentially the same thing yeah but they've got to be something different i think floating might be the act of like being a certain weight and that there's no there's neither pull nor push when gravity is concerned but when you're levitating you're resisting gravity staying in the same position yeah so if it's density then if you're less dense you float that's floating yeah because you're floating you're you're buoyant with gravity right but if you are magically or some other means lifting yourself up okay there we go okay so that's what your your sofa levitates which is the reason for the movement yeah they just move a little bit when you sit down i'm just saying don't be scared when you sit down this isn't even my main gadget i want to tell you about this new gadget i'm going into the details here this is this levitating couch is you know stop stop the press yeah but it's good imagine big magnets go i'm ready i want more give me the rest so i might have talked about this before because it's coming back um night rider or sleepy car i call it it's essentially you it's like a nanite vehicle you can fall asleep in a car and it's self-driving car so if you wanted to go what's a place that's like eight hours away from where you live jared denver denver so you want to go to denver for the day some pain to do that now but with nanita car vehicle you can get in the car it will drive you there while you sleep you then wake up you're in denver for the day you go back to bed in the car it drives you back so as far as you're concerned you've just slept in a car uh or you know slightly better than a car um but you've teleported essentially you have a day where you are now and then the next day in denver the day after that back where you are now well i think teleporting might be a stretch i mean you're sleeping the whole time right you're sleeping but it's close to teleports isn't it because you're not really unless you're conscious of where you are every time while you're asleep i'm certainly not i don't even know i'm still in the bedroom i'm kind of appreciating how much matt undershot on these they're understated you know like he had a complete freedom to do whatever he wants he comes with the falafels and full self-driving basically these are this is a really good waymo isn't it matt it's basically a good this is it's a night it's a night waymo all right all right it's a sleepy bedtime world is like the current world we're in but maybe like six months earlier or later yeah okay i like it i hope so yeah i hope so too the floating couch thing i mean we're not quite there yet but no well you can if you have a big strong magnets but i think clever coffees are going to be at least eight months clever coffee is a great idea yeah all right so you've got a gadget which is a nanite waymo yeah sleepy car yeah yeah it's hush hush bedtimes vehicle van you can get your salesman because you claim it teleports you but what it does is it drives you places while you're sleeping it's like telep is the closest we'll get i fell sleep on a flight to the u.s once i got on the plane they'd messed around tried to warn me about not to put someone else's mask on like you sort your own mask well i wasn't even gonna i wasn't even thinking of helping anyone else at all so i don't know what they're playing at um and they're like oh do you want this tiny little packet of peanuts yes please would you like some even smaller pretzels i've never seen a pretzel that small have you anyway this is just in my head but this happens so i get on the plane i fall asleep i wake up in america that's where you all live correct and that was to me that was like two hours of my life conscious so that was like teleporting yeah i used to do all the time when we go on family vacations and i was a child i just sleep in the car yeah you you know you leave your house and then you wake up and you're there there you go so i'm excited for matt world what else you got did you like that when you were a kid doing that jared i loved it yeah see well that's what i'm saying i love it what's happened you forgot about that love because no it's just that the startup just my parents were driving the car you know i wasn't teleporting really i understand from my perspective i get 100 % what you're saying i'm just feeling like you know complete creative freedom to invent a gadget that's all okay good but so just for clear you're just making clear for your listeners that okay good this is your game by the way so just keep that in mind okay what else you got i can't wait to hear this rule well exactly the laws are different on our each of our planets of course and mine there's a law that's actually quite a strange one that was passed a few years ago if you want a doc at work you have to write it okay i can't say let's have this doc and then make someone else write it that's that's a it's a law it's a law yeah on that world in that world okay this is a good one you want something written you write it yourself you cannot request that somebody else write some documentation yes you have to write it yourself and and if you if you can't because you don't know yeah then you have to find out uh to in order to write it yeah but But it proves that you need it, first of all, because it's easy to just imagine, here's six docs we should have.

26:17That's easy. All right, let's play this out for a moment. So let's say, Matt, in Matt world, you write a new microservice. Mm-hmm. It's perfectly engineered, so you're not in danger of the dungeon. And I need to use your microservice. And it's got no docs. i can't come to you and be like hey matt you should write some docs for this yeah this is true that's the you've found an immediate place where this doesn't apply uh i should write the docs i'm not talking about docs really i'm talking about i'm talking about like a design i'm talking about like some pre-design thing or some write a doc that explains something about the system like gotcha yeah which you have the knowledge it's one of these laws they're like lots of small fine print yeah changed over time yeah well you have to adjust it as the world advances okay so not a bad idea yeah tiny little law adam you like this one write your own docs i think it's a it's it's probably hard to enforce wait what kind of consequences are there if you ask somebody else to write some docs three nights in the dungeon no no it's basically decriminalized at this point so it's a misdemeanor yeah not even yeah not even that you're fine it's like jaywalking okay so everybody does it yeah so it's a worthless law all right what else yeah it's mostly a request yeah it is yeah oh that's what laws are really isn't it they just request They're like, please, please don't.

27:50Yeah. Pop his head off. If you do this, I'm going to have to do that. Yes. And you don't want that. It's a good idea to have laws written in code, though, I think. You should give me that idea. It's quite a good one. You should try that. Yeah. Yeah. All right. The laws of physics aren't exactly the same on this planet, by the way. I know what you're thinking, Jared. You're thinking laws of physics are probably identical to Earth. Why would they be? This is a matte world. It's different. Okay. all the rain falls in one go like just down like just a single drop it's just an enormous just smash that's awesome none of this like none of this delivery in little bits and pieces and taking hours one big massive drop like worldwide yeah just bang does everybody get hit at once are there holes in it everybody's wearing pointy hats how do they know we got really good weather people they just wear them all the time you can see that's all is that a law no but the pointy hat law no but of course you're gonna do it otherwise you have to try and dive through it like a reverse dive if you don't have the hat on like could it kill you it probably could it's you certainly guess you could certainly get a slapped a slapped red back have you ever jumped into a pool and just landed on your belly on the water i have yeah it hurts belly flop yeah it was on top of your head smash all the buildings are pointy okay that's a big ramifications yeah but yeah once it's done you can go out for the day do what you want just one big drop just comes down in one big slab love it matt's world sounds fascinating welcome have a coffee you know this one's from kenya so you can this will actually teach you about the sort of rich experience of that country uh and the rich culture so have it enjoy that's the kenya one or i can offer you this uh cold blend from brooklyn new york for half an hour you'll know how to look cool wearing a hat

30:05this cold you got some crazy podcasts in that world

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31:57All right, Adam, you want to take us to Atomworld? I'd love to go. I don't even think I want to do any more of this stuff. I'm done with this imagining stuff.

32:11I don't know if I'll be as cheeky as Matt, but I will take it to Adam World. Let's hear it. I'd love to go. I really struggled because I was between a couple different worlds here. Hmm. Hmm. But I figured I'd stay stereotypical and take it to what I would call Adam World. Okay, let's hear it. Am I supposed to read this script that you shared with me, Jared? Is that the rule? Matt sent me the script. Should he read the script? He didn't read the script. Yeah, he sort of did. He used it as an outline. You can read verbatim if you want, or you can do it like Matt did. Or you can do whatever you want.

32:46It's your show. I will do my best. Okay. Okay. That's all we can ask for. Please.

32:58A lot of pomp and circumstance. Welcome, gentlemen. Thank you. I didn't write that. Welcome, gentlemen, to Adam World. I hope you enjoy your time with us. Remember to visit the Silicon Valley Museum and the food court and try the Hooli Pied Piper Burger today and sample the delights of the uptick mineral water, which might reduce bedwetting. But first, can I introduce you to our favorite gadget, the most revolutionary compression algorithm ever that the world has ever seen? Oh. That's it. That's the script. Middle something. I didn't name it. it was already named that's right all right so a new gadget is a revolutionary compression algorithm yeah we could use one of those it remains unnamed like voldemort you can't say the name right the new rule new law is this everything is nothing and nowhere but also kind of everywhere cloud yeah compressed and the thing I thought that changed most about the world that I live in is I want to live this is heartfelt this is hard to even say you can do it

34:28you can do it mate you can say it

34:35I want to live in a world where everyone can watch Silicon Valley a piece of harmony

34:45well this is this is very touching okay I've said it that's it that's it that's all I can say thank you for listening I like to be on Adam's world I've just started re-watching Silicon Valley and it is so good I'm proud of you how many times have you seen it Adam? endless it's constantly playing in my brain yeah so if you had that compression album by the way you can't name it because the name is so small that it can't be spoken by humans is it compressed that much they wanted to call it FTL that's great that is great FTL faster than light yeah faster than light yeah for the loss it's lossless though it's lossy for the loss it's good too uh but it was actually faster than light but i like ftl for the loss as well or flossing well so if you had that for real then what would that i mean because we did have a bit of a problem before recording this where my hard drive is unnecessary well that would have never happened okay because based on the new rule new law everything is nothing and nowhere but also kind of everywhere i don't know what that means well everything is nothing and it's nowhere because it's just so small but it's also kind of everywhere because it's so small it can move so fast so this problem matt had with moving his data and all that disk space issue is that it just basically renders disk space obsolete because it's infinite it's just the thing that something becomes nothing but also something in everywhere yeah that's cleared it up yeah yeah i think i always found compression to be sort of bonkers that you could just have a file and then do something and then it's a smaller file and then do something else and put it back.

36:53You know, sometimes, Matt, I just uncompress and decompress things constantly just to see if somewhere someone's pulling something over on me. Yeah, that's good. We should find out. Constantly compressing, recompress, compressing, recompress. It's back and forth. Yeah. One day, I don't know for sure if they're truly compressing those things and then pulling them back out and they work again. Yeah. We'll never know. Or they're just saving the main file in a different file. And that's why we have the Silicon Valley Museum. If we didn't have this museum, these critical cultural icons in our world today would just be gone forever.

37:42Yeah. You would never know why or how. I thought... Or where? this was the silicon valley now we know where it is adam world but with the um but i thought when you meant silicon valley i thought you meant like the actual computer area oh yeah sorry man but you don't this is where you're sorely mistaken man this is the tv show you don't listen to the show enough man it's never the computer silicon valley the tv show it's always a tv show gotta keep it alive forever it's yeah it's rich in my blood deep deep deep one time i tried to reference the actual geography of silicon valley and this guy dinged me anyways he overruled it and he just dinged it he's like nope that's a tv show so good luck trying to talk about the geography okay now forget it not in adam's world yeah not in adam world now i don't know about you but i'm i'm just sick and tired sick and tired of start crying again it's tough to talk about okay he's getting choked up i've got some friends okay they're still a little scarred they were trying to watch silicon valley and some people came in the house started throwing some things okay they were throwing things it was not cool no peace no harmony trying to watch silicon valley so everyone is allowed to watch it and that is the law.

39:15No. No, that's not the law. This is the law. That's the law. Well, that's the change. If you want everyone who wants to watch it, you can do so in peace and harmony. So now there was this cult, this uprising, trying to abolish and get rid of and erase Silicon Valley culture and everything that this TV show stands for.

39:41and people were trying they were on ebay they were on ebay and they were trying to get the tv show HBO had revolted there was insiders it was a mess it was a mess and then whenever you watched Silicon Valley the tv show there was never any peace and never any harmony and so the new rule is this is that you have to abide by peace and harmony. You cannot disrupt. They will watch Silicon Valley forever if they want to. Sounds like the Streisand effect. I'm getting a little worked up now. I was sad for a second there, but now I'm mad. Well, maybe you should come to Jared's world. Yeah, it sounds like you've made a world that's really just tormenting you.

40:33Pop in the rocket. Let's go to Jared's world. Would you like an enormous pretzel? Welcome, gentlemen. To Jared World. Oh, hello. Yay. I hope you do enjoy your time with us. Remember to visit The Lou, which is our Lou Gehrig themed restaurant.

40:58And when you're there, be sure to order the number two. which is the best chili nachos smothered in baked beans lovely and then of course when you're all finished you can watch it wash it down with our world famous cocktail you're gonna love this cocktail matt it's an homage to alan iverson and his mechanical horse named tin tin sorry this is too good so good yeah it's you know alan iverson the famous basketball player here in the united states yeah well did you know he had a mechanical horse was it yeah iverson's mechanical tin tin we call the drink ivor mech tin nice does it come in a tinting yes like a trojan horse and it'll finish you off nicely after that number two oh yeah it sounds big that number two as well it is big it sounds really big yeah you almost can't finish it in one city right yeah now that's just our fine cuisines we also have amazing new gadgets oh i'd love to hear about your gadget is it better than a levitating chair or a sleepy nighttime car Yes, I think it might be more useful than a really good Waymo.

42:22Oh, yeah? This is called the disincinerator. And it does exactly what it sounds like. It's the opposite of an incinerator. It's so useful. So if you have a great campfire and you want to do it again, same wood, just disincinerate it. Right. California wildfires, no need to rebuild your home, just disincinerate your home. Yeah. right back to good as new yeah or the amazon forest ravaged by loggers first you have to incinerate the logs right and then let's get those trees back in the ground with the disincinerator right i think you get the point this is very good and grandma that's right oh yes the ultimate oh disincinerating values is your loved ones bring them back as long as they don't choose traditional burial right we can disincinerate them too this is exciting because i sometimes burn things and then think afterwards i shouldn't have burned that i think we all do that from time to time don't we it happens yeah pretty good gadget yeah this is a good gadget thinking outside the box you know not just renaming existing vehicles but just brand new things yeah of course there are some people who would not like this dis incinerator um serial killers oh yeah it's annoying for them people with really mean grandmas some grandmas are horrible yeah and you just want to leave them as they are as they lay or as they lie liars they are yeah but for everybody else there's the dis incinerator This is it, yeah.

44:10That's my gadget. I got nothing else there. That's how Jared's world works. I once made a pizza, and I didn't really know what I was doing, so I sort of put it under the grill, which is the broil thing in the US, I think. You know where it's just got the heat on the top? Sure. I thought that's kind of like a pizza oven. But I was essentially just grilling or toasting a pizza, a frozen pizza. And anyway, cut a long story short, it was on fire. It was very quickly on fire. Yeah. And I knew it was a spicy pizza, but that I don't think it was meant to be on fire. And it certainly, when I checked the box, it said nothing about that.

44:48If anything, it implied it wouldn't be on fire. Like it didn't say explicitly, but yeah, you just can read between the lines. Yeah, you can't return it at that point, unless you had this incinerator. Now in that case, I think it pays for itself. You can just take cooking too far and then just rewind it basically. You can get yourself a distance incinerator for four easy payments of$29.99 and one really hard payment. So just look out for that one. Same amount, but you have to pay in pennies. That's right. You know, your check's going to get lost in the mail. Yeah. Your credit, your bank account's going to bounce.

45:23Something's going to go wrong on that last one. Yeah. Put the wrong number in when you try to put your destination bank account number. You put it all incorrectly, but you got something wrong in the address. so it's just slowed it down it's just it's not much the system has been flagged but it's bank holiday it's a long weekend so shout out to mitch headberg that's an old mitch headberg gag that he does quite a bit better than i do and if i can disincinerate him i certainly would all right now there are some new rules here in jared world we don't live after the same rules that you all live by this is going to be dark aren't they he's going to make adam cry here's what we're going to do we're going to return to champions okay we're going to bring back champions in jared world we do not wage war by killing millions of young men women innocent children all disputes are resolved by champions just like we used to do in the neighborhood growing up you know my dad can beat up your dad that kind of a thing or the old school david versus goliath you know send out your best we send out our best right and whoever wins wins the dispute is david the best one because that statue of him he's got no arms have you seen it in italy yeah i think michelangelo screwed that part up didn't he or is that and he didn't have any clothes he didn't have any clothes on he's got his willy out he can't go to battle all i needed was five smooth stones i guess but not any just had two yeah you must have read a different account so yes this is the old champions here's how it would work now i i got practical here i want to actually explain this because you know you can't just come out and say whoever's champion wins wins i don't i still do not want there to be murder okay so there's no all wars now are done this way instead and it is based on champions how it works is each disputing group will pick their contest okay it could be mma it It could be Wii Sports, chess, vibe coding, whatever.

47:24Right. There's nine events. And the smallest population picks first because they need a little help. Right. And then each contest has a new champion. So you name, here's our vibe coding champion, right? Here's our chess champion. And they battle it out. First one to five wins the dispute. Here's the kicker, though. each champion that loses is disqualified from ever being a champion in that category ever again and so choose wisely what do you think this would work right i mean i think this i think we should do this just as a tv show i think we should yeah it's kind of like the olympics but it higher stakes and more categories more random categories what are the rules in that last part again like how does that go well you got nine so let's say it's uh united states versus great britain for instance okay oh come on that'd never happen i know it wouldn't but just for giggles hilarious yes so we would pick uh oh we have a bigger population so they would pick a category probably cricket could be probably a surefire win for them right i mean could be the beatles and then we put paul mccartney in it could be yeah if he's still kicking yeah um we'd put willie nelson against him see what happens yeah good but they would pick cricket you know we don't have any cricket players we might just give them that one or like fine whatever you in that category and then we would pick a category and you could name pretty much any other game of skill and then we would have more people on that one and then they would pick one what's that you say burgers and we're like we'll let them just have that one exactly pick your battles apple pie or you know A pie baking contest.