The One Meeting Leaders Can’t Afford to Get Wrong

0:00Hello and welcome back to the Courageous Leaders podcast. I'm Joanna Howes, the founder of The Change Creators, where we support leadership teams in building trust, alignment and cohesion so they can win together. Let's dive straight in. How many of you have sat through one-to-ones that just felt like a complete waste of time? Awkward silences, surface-level conversations or even worse, meetings that leave you both and your team members feeling frustrated and disconnected. According to Gallup Research, managers who have regular meaningful one-to-one conversations can boost their team's productivity by up to 67%.

0:37Just let that sink in for a moment. By mastering just one type of meeting, you could potentially increase your team's output by two-thirds. When I started in leadership, my one-to-ones were nothing more than status updates. And just like a tick box exercise, I just told us what I should do. And to be honest, it was sometimes a pain. as my diary was already so full and I could just do without it. However, I soon woke up and realised that one-to-one meetings are not just meetings. They're your most strategic leadership tool for building trust, driving performance and creating genuine human connection.

1:12So I want to address something that may feel obvious but it's so often forgotten. That is, how do you actually show up for a one-to-one? Research shows that your approach and the environment can dramatically impact the quality of your conversation. So here are three key things to just start doing immediately. The first, phone rules. Keep your phone out of sight, not just face down, but completely out of the room. If your phone is out though and face down, it still says to the person that the phone is more important than them. Number two, notification detox. Turn off all digital interruptions. No slap pins, no email alerts.

1:53Even if you ignore it, your brain will start thinking who it is and you won't be present in the meeting anymore. The third one is the environment matters. Mix it up. Walking meetings aren't just a trend, they're a powerful communication tool. If you don't believe me, well here's a stat for you. Researchers at Stanford University found that walking side by side increases openness and vulnerability and when people walk together they are 30 % that's 30 % more likely to share deeper more meaningful insights to compare to sitting face to face. The thing I get asked a lot is actually how often should I be doing one-to-ones?

2:32So most leadership experts will recommend a 30-minute meeting once a week for direct reports is good. For more senior roles bi-weekly 45 to 60 meetings work well. The key insight is though that consistency just trumps duration anyway. Just regular, predictable check-ins will trust more than just like those occasional long sessions. You also need to realise that if you cancel a one-to-one without rescheduling immediately, you are sending a powerful message. Because studies show that 78 % of employees feel devalued when their one-to-one is consistently postponed. and cancellations can reduce team engagement by up to 40%.

3:13So to help you, here are five simple tips to make your one-to-ones truly transformative. Number one, flip the script. They lead, you listen. The most common mistake, leaders dominating the conversation. Your job is to create space. So start by asking, what is going to help you to cover today? and what outcome would you like to get from our conversation? Then truly listen. I mean, really listen. Not just waiting for your turn to speak, but hearing the story behind the words. The second tip is create a safe container. Psychological safety isn't just a buzzword. It's about creating an environment where your team member feels they can be vulnerable without judgment.

3:57Keep your tone calm and consistent. Be mindful not to cross your arms as this creates a barrier. Use non-verbal cues like nodding your head to show you're listening. They all communicate safety to the other person. Keeping eye contact also says you are staying with them, however challenging the conversation could get. Online, have your camera on and be conscious to be close to the camera. And whatever you do, don't try and read an email at the same time. The person can tell. The third tip, the power of questions. Change up the yes or no question. ask questions that make them think deeply. What's energising you right now?

4:38Where are you feeling stuck? What support do you need that you're not getting right now? Number four, make it a two-way street. Feedback isn't a one-way street. Share your observations but also be open to hearing how you can improve as a leader. Because remember vulnerability works both ways. So what you can do is ask them what is one thing that I could stop or start doing that would make it easier or better to be led by me. And the last one, do not leave the meeting with their actions. This meeting isn't for you to fix all the issues or take on the work for them. They need to leave having found solutions themselves and feeling empowered to do their actions.

5:22Too many leaders end up taking their team's work thinking they are protecting them but all you're doing is stopping them from growing. So ask, what have you tried to already solve this? What else could be possible if you looked at it from a different perspective? Do you know what, if failure wasn't an option what would you do? Remember leadership isn't about perfection, it's about progress. These one-to-one principles aren't just techniques, they're about reconnecting with the most human part of leadership, genuine connection. So I challenge you, pick one tip to start, implement it in your next one-to-one, and I'd love you to come back and share your experience in the comments.

6:04Because when we grow, we can then help others grow. So that's it for today's episode of Courageous Leaders. If this episode has helped you, then do share it with people who need to hear this. if you've got thoughts I'd love to hear them message me on LinkedIn or drop me a comment and if you need help with your leadership team then get in touch as I'd love to support you because remember you don't have to work it out all on your own thanks for listening stay courageous and I'll see you next time