Ep 151 Career: Believing in Yourself Is an Act of Will

0:00There's one thing that I've definitely learned through all the jobs, all the industries, all the success, all the layoffs, all the clients and everything else. That if you want to do anything creative, believing in yourself is an act of will. It's not a feeling. It's not a mood you wake up to in some mornings and not others. It's an act of will. And just like anything that's like that, that means it's going to be tested. It's going to be tested constantly. It's going to be tested on purpose. And it's going to be tested by people in systems that have a reason to want you to stop. And here's the part that nobody tells you.

0:42That standing up for yourself, knowing your value, saying it out loud, that's usually read as being a troublemaker, being difficult, not being a team player. It's not viewed as confidence of knowing your value, of valuing what you do and taking it seriously. No, you're trouble. You're disruptive. You're a lot of those sort of adjectives that I know I've been labeled at a lot of times throughout my career. So if you felt that lately, if you struggled with it, if you have that feeling whenever you're laying there at night in the dark, that you know you're worth more than this episode's for you. So welcome to episode 151 of the Crazy One Podcast.

1:29As always, I'm your host, Stephen Gates. And this is a show where we talk about creativity, leadership, design, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Now, look, I'm going to keep the intro short because I want this episode to be a little bit different. So like, look, you know the deal. Subscribe, like the show, leave a review, whatever. but normally this show is built to teach you something once and sort of send you on your way right like it's it's kind of like a one and done maybe you come back to it months or years later as a reminder I want this show to be different that's not going to be this one this episode I want to create because it's not for learning it's for keeping it's for bookmarking it and coming back to it on the day you need it.

2:14Whether that's today, whether it's in the future, whenever that is, that's what I want this to be built for. And if that's, like I said, useful for you, then look, do all the stuff that you know if you've ever listened to any show. But look, I didn't write this because this was something that happened this week. It wasn't something that happened because I had one meeting. I wrote it because it happens every week to me and to almost everybody that I talked to right now and in the past. But definitely recently, this conversation is coming up a lot because the industry is under more pressure than I've seen really in my entire career, right?

2:56Budgets are being cut in the name of efficiency. Headcount is being cut in the name of AI. And in the middle of all of that noise, the thing that quietly erodes isn't your skill, right? And certainly it's that your skill matters. It's that I've generally watched talented people start to shrink, to question their talent, to question what it is that they want to do. And it's happening not because they got worse, but because they got tired of proving something that never should have needed proving in the first place. So this isn't meant to be a lesson. It's meant to be a reminder for the day that you need one.

3:38But here's the pattern, right? And I think I've done this long enough to know the pattern and it repeats. It doesn't matter what company, what industry, or what year that people will try to minimize you. They mostly do it quietly, right? It's a comment in a meeting. It's a credit line that forgets your name. It's a let's simplify that sort of means let's remove the part that took skill. It's the time whenever they put the word just in front of anything that you do, right? Like, oh, it's just design. It's just creative. It's just one simple word that can do such an incredible amount of damage. And they cheapen your value.

4:25Not because they've done the math and decided that you're worth less. It's because they've never had to do the math at all. They've never had to make the thing that you make. So they assume that it's easy because you make it look easy. Isn't that so often the problem that we have as creatives is we take these dumpster fires and are able to figure out the center of it, clean it up, make it better, and to be able to produce something that more than likely is probably far better than what they deserved. If you're like me, you probably just thought of a person, a client, a project, something in the not-too-distant future that falls into that.

5:04But what you start to feel is that they start to take that impact for granted. What was a miracle one day is just seen as work the next. the work that saved the launch, the campaign, the client, it becomes background noise, right? In a moment, the moment it kind of stops being on fire, then the value seems to slip through their fingers. The recognition of it just sort of fades. And here's the other part that I've also learned, right? Like you never get a thank you for the fire that didn't happen, for the thing that you got out in front of, for the thing that you stood up for, for the fight that you had, for the hill that you died on, so that that thing didn't happen.

5:47I've never in my entire career gotten a thank you note for one of those. And that's the thing is they treat your time and your talent like it's a cheap, renewable resource, because to them, it is. They can't see the cost to make it. So in their mind, it costs nothing because that's the thing. We deal in a medium where there's not a right answer, where there's a million different ways that you can do something right as a concept that doesn't really exist. And I think the thing that I try to remind myself is that at the end of the day, I don't really think in most cases that it's personal. In some cases, it is.

6:26In some cases, it's political. In some cases, you're threatening somebody's job because they're just mailing it in and you actually care. And no matter how many times I'll argue with clients and companies that the best way to lose high performers is to tolerate the low performers, it continues to happen. And it's not personal. And I think if I'm being really honest, that's probably the part that honestly stings the most. It's not that there may be necessarily targeting me. It's that they genuinely can't see what you do, your impact. They can't see kind of what you're carrying and that ultimately what they can't see, they don't value.

7:05And this is why for me, I'll argue with creatives and coach and fight to show your work, to show your thinking, to try to give them a chance to see your value. But I think the other part of this, and I think this is the part that most people won't say out loud. You already know all of this, right? You felt every one of these things happen to you and you tolerated it anyway. Probably not once, probably for weeks, months, or years until the point when it was unsustainable until the point where you got laid off and questioned why the hell you tolerated it for so long. And I think we've all been there, right?

7:51You tolerate it because you're afraid of the unknown that's on the other side of change. Change can be intoxicating. It can be full of possibility, but it's also full of a lot of uncertainty. And for a lot of people, the devil you know is more comfortable than the uncertainty you don't. You tolerate it because you're afraid of the bills that don't care how you feel about your worth. The bills, the mortgage, the family, the realities of life that in a lot of cases that follow your dreams and follow your passion and a lot of those sort of successories posters, you know, hang in there champ, sound great, but often overlook the realities of life.

8:35I think you probably tolerate it because you're afraid of disappointing yourself. Being the person who talks a big game about their value and then can't deliver, can't act on it, can't do that. Because again, every time we go into it, two plus two isn't for. It's burnt sienna. It's make the logo a different size. It's challenge a convention. It's push people to think differently. It's not a linear formula. And I think that, you know, you tolerate it because you're afraid of adding hardship to the people who are riding with you in this. The ones counting on the version of you that keeps showing up, that keeps the lights on, that keeps it together.

9:16That could be a boss. That could be your company, that could be your teammates, that could be your family and friends. Because again, I think these decisions don't happen in a vacuum. The consequence isn't always just something that's going to happen to you. And I think if you're anything like me, that underneath all of that, in the quiet part of the day when nobody's watching, when you find that moment of peace to think about things like this, there is some part of you, maybe small, maybe bigger than what you want, that's afraid that they all might be right, that maybe you're not worth you think what you are, that maybe the discount that they've put on you, on your value, on what you do, maybe it's the right price.

10:03And that's a hard thing to stand up against. That building something that isn't linear, that saying, yes, I have value, that, you know, I think doing that in a job is hard enough, let alone whenever you're a freelancer, you're looking for a job, you're trying to keep a job. Those are the moments where it just, it hits different. Because putting a number on what you do, on saying, no, I'm worth more, knowing what the downside can be. It's easy to say, it's hard to do. And look, I'm not going to sit here and pretend to tell you that that fear is irrational. It isn't. For everyone, those fears are real.

10:50And every one of them, I would argue, is doing exactly what fear is designed to do, to keep you where it's familiar, even when where it's familiar is where you're being underpaid, overlooked, and ground down. But here's what my career has taught me. The fear that, you know, there's just that fear that they might be right. Never actually resolves by staying quiet and by waiting for proof. It just feeds on itself. It becomes a snake eating its own tail. It only gets better. It only eases. And I'm not even going to say it's never going to resolve itself. It's never going to be gone, right? Like we're not going to pretend like that's realistic.

11:36But I think that it only gets better whenever you start to act like you already know the answer, where you let your work, your standards and your refusal to shrink make the case for you. Because people will always try to pressure to make you smaller, to make the idea easier, to make what you do less challenging, to make it easier for them to, you know, to stomach. and again, I think that it's just, it's a universal thing that none of us say out loud, because the other thing that I've learned is that if you work probably in almost any corporation, this conversation, this level of vulnerability is never rewarded.

12:23If anything, it's often weaponized. And that's why I said, like, if you stand up for yourself and you do that, you're viewed as like you're not a team player. You're a problem. You're trouble. You aren't invested, which is bullshit, candidly, because that's a construct that makes it easier on leadership and the company and everybody else to handle people. And oftentimes, I would argue, probably rationalize their mediocre performance in the face of somebody that actually cares and has talent. So here's the one thing I want you to do with this. Not just feel, right? Like while you're listening to it.

13:05But what I want you to do is I want you to start a list. I don't care where. Do it in a, write down some notes, do it in an app, do it in a notebook, right? Wherever you'll actually keep it open. And every time somebody confirms your value, could be unprompted, could be specific, but just something real. Write it down. I've seen some people, they call it a happy list or a happy folder. Some people call it, again, that value list. This isn't, right? Like, I'm not saying this. This isn't of your own achievements. This isn't your resume. These are the moments that somebody else told you out loud or in writing that what you did mattered.

13:49A client who said that the work changed something. A teammate who said they learned something from watching what you do. A boss who fought to keep you in the room. I think first and foremost, writing those things and remembering them can be valuable in those moments when it feels like that's not around. I think also because when you start to do that, you get a real clear sense of who are your people. because I've often found that with the layoffs and leaving jobs and things like that, you really do get a sense of who are your people, who are the ones that are actually there, who are the ones that really care, and then who are the ones that just paid you lip service because that's the other hard part of all this that nobody really says out loud.

14:35You know, when you're sitting at lunch, everybody's a good person, but when money or power get involved, you start to really see who people are in very disheartening and shocking ways sometimes. But I think this is the thing, and this is some work that I've really had to do because for too long, the list that I kept was of my shortcomings. The list that I kept were the moments that knocked me down. The list that I kept were the people who disappointed me, right? Of the places where I came up short. It was more of like a reminder of what I wasn't. And that only started to change when I decided I needed to build a different list to stop focusing on what I wasn't, to be aware of it, right?

15:23It's in the same way I've argued that imposter syndrome imbalance can be healthy. It can drive you, it can push you forward. But that's what I need you to do, is I need you to start building a different list to do it deliberately. And on the day, whenever you need this episode, again, whenever you think about it, the day that somebody minimized you, cheapened you, took you for granted, open that list before you open your mouth. Right? Because look, I'm not saying to just go get into an argument with everybody. In a lot of cases for me, that's the thing is I always find it funny that where people can find me divisive or combative, but I'm not generally 90 plus percent of the time.

16:06I don't yell. I'm very thoughtful in what I do. I will often argue that's the difference between crazy and stupid. Stupid reacts, right? Stupid just runs on emotion. Crazy is more strategic. Crazy is more thoughtful because at the end of the day, I'm not trying to win an argument with them. I'm trying to win something different I'm trying to win what's happening in my head I'm trying to be able to be clear on what is true Which is my talent and my value That the word just has no place before what I do And I think that that's the thing Is that that list Whenever you need it is evidence. It's evidence that they're not right.

16:59It's a reminder of what your value is. It's a way to keep those voices and what those are at bay. And again, they're always going to be there. So like I'm saying, I'm not saying what that is, but in those moments, and I've had more than a few of them the last few weeks where this has been put to the test. In those moments, And that's when you need the reminder more than anything. Because it is. It's easier to stay quiet. It's easier to go along. It's easier. That's why most companies, I will always believe, argue that what they really want is compliance. They'll all say they want leaders and they want big thinkers and they want creativity.

17:42They don't like what that actually means. but that's why i say because of all of this that believing in yourself is an act of will and it's it's something that is going to be tested today next month probably by the end of the week and that's where you need i need you to remember right you're not a troublemaker for knowing what you're worth you're not being too much for refusing to be minimized and that fear they might be right, that's not proof. That's just fear doing what it's supposed to do. And it is. And I think, you know, look, I've got tattoos on both forearms as reminders to me of this journey, that it's not easy.

18:30And I think that the further you get in your career, if you're in a leadership role or whatever that is, all of this just becomes so much more magnified because we have to acknowledge that now I'm not just standing up for myself. I'm standing up for everybody that I represent to believe in something, to set a standard because I don't just want them to minimize me. I don't want them to minimize everybody on my team that is standing with me and behind me. And I've got to be the point of that spear, which means, yeah, I'm going to need to be sharper. I'm going to need to stand up. I can't, you can't give way to that because that's the problem is whenever you do, then you set a precedent and that those are the precedents that everybody will use time and time again to now minimize everybody.

19:16And I think that this is often what is the unspoken and unrecognized burden of leadership. Yes, there's the day-to-day of what you have to do, but there is that element of that if you're doing it well, and if you really care about those people, that you're standing up for them in the face of your own doubt. That's why, again, for me, a leader will always just simply be the most confident, uncertain person. No one's immune from this. And I think that that's the thing. And that's what I want to do this episode a little bit differently is whenever you need a reminder, whenever you need to remember to do that list, because it's easy to not write it down.

19:54It's easy to take the compliments for granted, to let them brush off and to fixate absolutely on the negativity. I see it time and time again in my work. I see it every time I do a keynote where I've had pages, pages of great comments. And there's one or two in there. This guy is full of shit. He doesn't know what he's talking about. And those are the ones that haunt me. And it's just, it's a part of what we do that I think that ultimately this is the thing we have to remember is that uncertainty is the resting state of creativity. Self-doubt is the resting state of creativity because what we do is personal.

20:32It comes from us, from our experience, from our perspective. So being detached from it, if you are actually doing it and give a shit about it, isn't really possible. But that's the thing, is to come back to this episode whenever you need to hear it again. When you need the reminder to keep that list going. When you need the reminder that you are worth something and that standing up for it is not a problem. problem and if you stand up for it and they have a problem with it if you stand up for it and they push back if they have a stand if you stand up for it and it becomes clear that that's not going to change then that is the sign you know for you to make sure that between that moment and how you like to spend as few hours as you can in that job before you get to some place where the environment is different to recognize it for what it is that it is not going to change it is not temporary and that you are worth more.

21:31Because ultimately, in some situations, that's the only way it's going to resolve is to show them what it's like when you're not there. To show them what happens and how much they did take it for granted. They won't tell you. They won't come back and apologize. But to me, like I said, just don't, they'll know. And maybe it's not the cathartic outcome that everybody wants. But for all of what we do, for our ability to be comfortable being uncomfortable, there is deep value in that. And I think that we all, myself included, need that reminder probably more than we want to admit. So come back to this when you need it.

22:16Remember what it is that you're worth, that you are crazy, that you are different. And that is exactly what makes you so great, so impactful, and so powerful. So as always, look, thanks for listening. Like I said, I tried to keep this one a little bit on the shorter side. But look, I know time is the only real luxury any of us have. I'm always incredibly grateful. You want to spend any of it listening to me. But remember who you are. Remember they're not right. Remember that being easier and smaller for them just makes everything worse and everybody's shorter. It doesn't, it never leads to anything that you want to be.

23:00It's not why you got into this. So as always, and hopefully maybe this time it hits a little bit different, stay crazy.