Is Meghan a trad wife?

0:02The Telegraph.

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0:45Welcome to The Weekend Tea with me, Camilla Tomini. And me, Poppy Coburn. And it's not the weekend we were hoping for, Poppy. Also, not the weekend you were hoping for with me in place of Michael Deacon, your little buddy. Not in as loud a shirt. No, thankfully, because I think it's been, you know, it's been a pretty heavy few days. I'm not sure I could psychologically or stomach wise cope with more bright colours.

1:15Listen, we thought that we'd be going into a World Cup final tomorrow night and instead we're going into a playoff with France, which is depressing and extremist. Now, if only Thomas Tuchel, the England manager, had the faith of a man called Sean Carrington from Wigan in Greater Manchester, which is, let's be honest, the area of the moment right now with Andy Burnham about to make his ascent to Downing Street. Sean decided after England beat Congo that he would get the World Cup tattooed onto his leg with the words World Cup Champions 2026 and an England flag. The timing on that wasn't fantastic.

1:58You'd at least wait till you got to the finals before you decide. I mean, I personally wouldn't get it tattooed on any part of my body. No. For any amount of money. But I think it's a little bit cocky to do it the night before the semifinals. For those watching on YouTube, we are going to show a picture. For those not watching on YouTube, can I just say that, I mean, it's on his calf. It's really quite unattractive. And he now, well, he said at the time, if we don't win, and by the way, he paid£550 for this. Is that a good bargain? I haven't got any tattoos. I don't want to be horrible about the tattooist, but I think my daughter could probably do well.

2:33A better piece of artwork, and she's 12. But no matter. He says that basically he's now going to have to have an added tattoo of only joking underneath it. But what I mean is, I mean, at least he had faith. And in the last half an hour of that match against Argentina, we really didn't. No, I mean, I wonder if it was stinging on his leg as he's watching the Argentinian score the second goal. he's just going oh Jesus Christ why do I support England 60 years of hurt is it 60 years now 60 years of hurt so that 30 years of hurt that we sang about in 1996 when I remembered earlier I was in Faleraki with a group of girlfriends having finished my A levels yes no GCSEs having such fun watching the football unfold uh killing me softly in the charts don't look back in anger hung around with a group of boys from Bexley Heath who were completely inappropriate and it was great fun and so we're now 30 years on from that 30 years of hurt more than half a century of hurt oh god it's so depressing don't worry though because we've got the joy of Andy Burnham still to come on Monday Camilla have I not suffered enough are you making things I mean I guess he's winning at least but this is just horrific he's got a very big weekend ahead yes Andy Burnham our next Prime Minister undisputed Prime Minister So 25 ,000 votes were all it took.

3:52But it's OK because he believes in himself and therefore that will carry Britain through on a wave of positivity. He's all eyelashes and no policies. We've heard nothing from him really. He's faced no parliamentary or indeed press scrutiny, but he is going to be the next prime minister. There's been no leadership contest. As far as I can tell, most of the briefings, I think there was a good one today which suggested that he was high on vibes and low on detail. which is precisely what we need at this point of national collapse. The thing that really worries me is that Keir Starmer in PMQs on Wednesday said, I left the country in a better state than I found it.

4:32If that's what he thinks a better state is, good God, what is Andy Burnham going to do when he leaves the country? Well, we're being mocked by Argentinians and now the future of the Falkland Islands is in jeopardy. We've given away the Chagos completely unnecessarily. economically Rachel Reeves is once again almost in tears at the final PMQs for Keir Starmer unemployment's at a record high and we've also lost the only chance we had of winning the World Cup so country in a better state is there anything to look forward to I mean this is just horrific I mean I've got a summer holiday planned well I tell you what we have got to look forward to from copy purposes and that is the Clacton by-election of course which could bring some levity at a difficult time because of the whole Farage versus bin face.

5:17But the funniest development in that is that the Fox, so the Fox who starred in the Makerfield by-election, do you remember Andy Burnham's accepting this prize of becoming not just the Makerfield MP, but the next prime minister next to a Fox and a bin? The Fox has backed out because he doesn't want to split the loony vote. You know, it's like we're trying to urge, restore, just stand back because you're splitting the right. He's basically not wanting to cut across bin face when it comes to the voters that he can pick up for his unique brand of politics. How many woodland critters do we have in English politics?

5:54Have you seen the woman who dresses as a badger? You must have seen her at party conferences. Okay, I swear to God, I'm not having a hallucination here. I saw a woman. We do drink heavily at party conferences. Well, I say we, I'm a teetotal, but lots of people are quite drunk at party conferences. Well, it was early in the morning, so I was drunk. And I saw this lady, and she was dressed in head to toe and very similar to this man who dresses up as a fox in a badger costume and she had a big sign around her neck that said, stop killing me. And I asked her, who are you? Why are you doing this? And what does your sign mean?

6:21She said, I'm a badger campaigner and I'm trying to stop the government from killing badgers. So this is apparently what our politics means now. People literally dress up like they're from some kind of Eden Blight novel, you know, and that's apparently what good politics looks like. Rob Pownall, who is the fox, was trying to stand to draw attention to the plight of British wildlife and indeed Farage's support of fox hunting. Because, of course, of all of the concerns that the British have right now, I mean, fox hunting, which was banned literally decades ago, is absolutely top of the list, Poppy.

6:57Is it really Clacton relevant? I mean, maybe seagull hunting. They should be a seagull guy. That would probably be quite popular. In fact, actually, when you think about people's discarded chips and things, I'd imagine the good people of Clacton are quite up for a fox cull. A single issue, like animal killing party. The ideas are here, Nigel Farage. If anyone in reform wants to pick them up, just give us some credit, please. Also, I love this from the Fox. Citing the arrival of right-wing agitator, as he's described, Lawrence Fox, and former Married at First Sight star Luke Worley in the race, Rob Pownall added, I just don't think our cause has helped by sharing a stage with these people.

7:36Oh, so hang on. You were perfectly willing to share a stage with an actual dustbin around which, let's be honest, fox do forage. Yes. I mean, actually, it's a perfect habitat for a fox. A bin. Do you think they're colliding? Is this the way it's happening? It's the fox and the bin have been going behind Nigel's back. It's absolutely ridiculous to say, oh, I'm perfectly happy to share a stage with Count Binface, but not with Lawrence Fox and a Married at First Sight star. Still to come, find out what award Meghan Markle, also known as the Duchess of Sussex, has been nominated for.

8:13Nirav Modi was a billionaire diamond tycoon whose jewellery was worn by Hollywood stars like Kate Winslet. But in 2018, he was accused of masterminding one of the world's biggest ever bank frauds, and he disappeared. This is the extraordinary story of the rise and fall of Nirav Modi and of how we caught him. He was in the news all the time. Where is Nirav Modi? Why can we not find it? He's one of the most sought-after criminals in India. You owe a lot of people a lot of money, Mr Modi, who would very much like to know where you are. Sorry, no comment. The Indians will think we're a laughingstock.

8:54Here we are seven years later still speaking about this case. I think it's a sham. The Diamond King, a new podcast from The Telegraph. With me, Mick Brown. And me, Robert Mendick. Out now.

9:24the platform to do it all yourself. Browse thousands of popular podcasts, choose the shows that match your perfect audience, set your budget and launch. And if you want a hand, our podcast specialists are there to help you launch with confidence. This is podcast advertising without barriers. Get started at acast.com slash advertise.

9:53Now, I want to ask you this. You're not a millennial, are you? You're a Gen Z. I'm Gen Z, yeah. My God, you're like my daughter's Gen Z, we should say, by the way. Sorry, this is an Americanism. I'm going to get shouted at someone. Simon Heffer, our colleague, our esteemed colleague, who, if you get your words mangled, by the way, he thinks you should be automatically fired. He doesn't like the word Z and says, for goodness sake, dear, it's Gen Z. Gen Z But that's nuts because my daughter's 17 and she's a Gen Z So she's at the other end of it and you're at the top end I'm one of the geriatric Gen Zers So you are a child of the social media era Can you not tell from my complete inability to do anything?

10:32Well, your focus, I'll tell you what, I'm really impressed with how much you're focusing on what I'm saying Where's my phone? My kids are all away with the fairies and as soon as I'm speaking suddenly there's a... Hang on a minute, mum But what do you think of this? I'm not going to call it a social media ban because it is a social media voluntary opt-out scheme now. Yes. So there's so many caveats that have happened in this law, hasn't there? So first of all, it's that we're not actually going to ban VPNs because we don't know how to do that. Explain to the boomers what a VPN is. Again, you're doing this thing of like assuming we all know how to navigate this technology.

11:05I'm going to explain to you now, Camilla. A VPN is what I used to get around the government's restrictions on the internet. it's a way of putting your ip address which i've just realized i also have to explain yes basically it thinks that you're online in america yeah or a country of your choice so you can just ignore all restrictions i always have mine on virtual private network yes and the vpns are also sometimes used for naughty things yes my understanding is not for me obviously not for no but men and porn and things but but but yes what have you um the the youth of today use them to navigate navigate their way around this social media ban.

11:41But they don't really even need to do that because if the government is saying it's not compulsory and if the government's saying that this curfew that's meant to be applied to the phone midnight to six, to be fair, children can apply their own screen time. Indeed, parents can. That's how I manage my 12-year-old's mobile phone use. And when it got to the point where both of my children were doing their GCSEs, actually, to be fair, and I'm not saying this to be some kind of sharp-elbowed alpha mum who's got everything right. I've got a hell of a lot wrong. They then started self-regulating. Yes.

12:13The eldest said, I don't want to be doom scrolling on Instagram like you, mum, in the evening. So I'm going to put an app on to stop me from looking on it so I can actually go and revise. And then my son asked my daughter for the technology she used so he could police. I did the same thing. I had an app that I was using when I was studying for my GCSEs that blocked the amount of time I could use on my phone. And it would grey little virtual trees. It's like a kind of reward. and then you can show your friends your forest and say, look how much revision I've done. This is good. I know, I was obviously a geek.

12:44Showing your friends your forest on a mobile phone does sound like an interesting euphemism. It does sound like a Gen Z occupation, but let's not go down that route. But my view on this is I'm fairly strident. I just think if you really want to ban the curse of the mobile phone, you ban the mobile phone. And I know I'm extremely sort of Luddite about it, but I just think you can't have this half in, half out. Some of the kids have got one, some of the kids haven't. If you really want to take Dr. Jonathan Haidt and any of the other scaremonger-ish kind of psychological studies of what's happened since the advent of the iPhone and children's anxiety levels and educational standards, you just say no smartphones for anyone under 16.

13:25Just have a brick phone and then welcome to a home in the world. Have age restrictions on buying phones. And if parents want to buy iPhones for their kids, then that's their problem. But isn't that so much smarter to do it that way? You have to use identification to get a smartphone. Yes. So you could actually block it. Then why don't they want to go down this route? Are they scared of the tech bros? I mean, literally, Mark Zuckerberg's the least scary person I think I've ever seen in my life. I think I could swap him away with just one finger. Well, couldn't you? I mean, yeah. Well, didn't he once do some kind of boxing thing?

13:52He did. Looked like he had a degree of wiry strength. Have you seen the photo of him? I think he's surfboarding and he's wearing all this sun cream and he's just completely... Sorry, this is a horrible image for someone at the weekend. Don't look it up. It's quite unattractive. But no, you're right. I think the government basically wants to be populist in this way. It knows it's a popular set of restrictions because people are worried about social media use. And so it's saying all these things that it hasn't actually thought through. Yes. That sound good. Oh, we're copying Australia because that sounds good.

14:20They haven't taken on board any of the criticism in Australia about how it hasn't really worked for a lot of kids. And now they're hoping we've forgotten about it. Is it possible to be populist on the left as well as the right? I think it is. Yes. The left don't seem to think so, because has there ever been more of an example of a left-wing populist than Hannah Spencer of the Greens? Of Balamori. Sorry, why do you say that? I mean, look at her clothes. I watched Balamori when I was a child. It was my favourite show. Come with a way to Balamori, wouldn't you like to know? I'm saying that as a parent, not a child, by the way, because it was after my time.

14:55But this is the woman who said people are drinking too much in the Commons. They're drinking far too much. And it was like, well, how the hell else do you get through this bizarre world? We've heard all week about the absolute horrors that MPs face online. We have to reflect solemnly on the death of Anne Widdicombe. Frankly, if that's not enough to drive you to drink, if you're working in politics, what will? So she's basically Westminster's resident fun sponge. Yes. Now what's she saying? She's now saying that she wants to have a mandatory maximum temperature requirement for workplaces. I think it's getting hotter and hotter in this room.

15:32So I think when we hit the threshold, she suggested, which is, I think, 27 degrees. Well, how do you do that if you're a builder on a building site? Isn't that a fantastic question? And can I add another thing? Aren't the Green Party the people who want to ban air conditioning? Yes, they are. Are we never going to work in the summer? I mean, I'm all up for being at home, paid full by Hannah Spencer. but does that not have a few holes in it? Yeah, she does. What air con? So how are we going to manage it? But this is as contradictory as her saying, oh, by the way, please don't have a gin and tonic in strangers, but we want to legalise heroin.

16:04Yes. You can buy smack from the man across the street as you're walking into Westminster, but absolutely not having a low-alcohol beer. And you can't do any work if it's slightly sunny outside in this country, which is happening more frequently, thank God. But no, you can't use any air conditioning that would actually help workers. Also, how would you mandate that in, say, for instance, someone's car? I mean, because sometimes there are two types of people in life, aren't there, Poppy? There are windows open people, never in the back, helicopter effect, when I'm driving anyway, or there are aircon on.

16:36And then there are non-aircon in the car people because they think it uses up too much fuel. And we are conscious of that right now as, you know, the prices at the pumps go ever skyward. So how would she, for instance, regulate the temperature inside an articulated lorry? Well, isn't this the same thing as with COVID, which it was like you could tell the difference between people that were doing real jobs, like manual jobs where you had to actually physically be there to continue to do your work and those who could work from home very easily. Hannah Spencer, for all the noise she makes about being a plumber and being salt of the earth and authentic, clearly hasn't thought through how this would work in practice.

17:11It's easy if you work in an office to keep the temperature down. But as you say, if you're working on a building site outside, actually building something, what are you going to do? or a gardener or a taxi driver or, I don't know, you work in a shop. How are you going to manage all these things? How about if you work from home but it's not actually your home but you're pretending it's your home for TV purposes? I feel like this is segwaying into something. I tell you what, it's crowbar. This is crowbar, but we were told to link different things together and this is my first weekend tea. I'm going to do that in a hackneyed fashion.

17:41I'm talking about Meghan Markle. Oh, God. Now, With Love, Meghan, I'm sure is a series that you watched on Netflix. No, I do not watch any Meghan Markle things, and yet I continue to see her constantly. Well, that's because you see clips of her being lampooned, for instance, for my personal favourite, wrapping a bottle of wine up in a Japanese scarf that she'd got from the local charity shop, although it appeared to be designer and worth about 400 quid, to give it to someone. Because, you know, who wants one of those tall bags? You know, don't be ordinary. Wrap it up in a scarf. You have to give the scarf back after you drank the wine.

18:17You'd want to, wouldn't you? Can I just take that back, please? But now I find this extraordinary. I've got to be honest. This is a fantastic story. Because, I mean, she's been the subject of memes because of how ridiculous this series was with her. And I say it wasn't her kitchen, first of all. Can I just say something with reality TV stuff? The whole point of it is that we get to see inside the house. Authentically you. You're living your best life. And I know that these people do these things in their homes where they seem to have cleared their homes of all of its possessions. Where's the school bag by the door?

18:50Where's the husband's shoes at an inappropriate place in the kitchen? Where's all of your stuff? But no matter. So she goes and rents this kitchen that isn't her real kitchen, starts telling everyone how to make jam. Anyway, she has received an Emmy nomination. Emmy. Emmy. Right? That's like the Oscars of telly for Outstanding Lifestyle Programme. God, what were the other contenders? Well, I'll tell you that, actually. Meghan Markle's awful show. The other contenders were the very well-known, and forgive me, but I'm not across this category, a different breed. I don't know, is it America's Answer to Crufts?

19:26George to the Rescue, again, not quite sure. The Motherhood and, oh, this is also pet-themed, The Wizard of Paws. And that's spelt P-A-W-S, just to clarify. So, look, there isn't that... Yeah, it's not The Sopranos or The Wire, is it? No. This is hard-hitting television. You know, to tell you what I'd like to see, with Love Megan up against Say Holmes under the hammer. Right? That is a competition. Or Antiques Roadshow. Just imagine. And Megan is there. The camera pans on her and David Dickinson. And then David Dickinson wins. And Megan has to do that thing of going, yeah, well done. Thank you very much.

20:04Or even, oh, rip off Britain with Angela Rippon. Megan versus Rippon. Imagine. Can I ask you a question quickly, Camilla? Yes, please. Is Megan Markle a trad wife? Oh. I'm really curious about this because she's always doing pradwife stuff. I think you'll find she's a women's empowerment champion. Is she? Because she's always in the kitchen. She's always cooking up in the kitchen. She's always taking weird photograph of her children so that they can. Do you know why it's funny this as a mum? Because you try and get your kids to pose up. And increasingly as they get older, they just don't want to do it.

20:40And it's just absolutely painful. In fact, I'm actually dreading the summer holiday where I try and line them up. and then no, I don't look good and don't put this on social media and everything. She does this thing of, so I'm always trying to get my children's faces all aligned, looking at the camera, smiling with teeth. Your generation have got this thing, they can't open their mouths and smile with teeth. I don't know. I always do that. Also, they do this thing of like, I take a nice photo and then my daughter wants to flip it to the other. She likes me. Oh no, I have to because otherwise your face looks weird.

21:09It's not the reflection. Anyway, imagine Megan's lining up the kids. Now, hang on. Archie, just turn around so we can't see your face. Now, Lilibet, you just turn. No, we can see a bit too much of your nose. We can see your eye on your nose. Just turn towards Daddy. It's obscene. It's so weird, yeah. Just go look at the wall over there so I can get a really nice shot of the back of your head. Because I want to, I'm not, by the way, I'm finding freedom. That's why privacy is very important. I need to be private in Montecito. Just where I'm posting a picture. I share pictures from the family album with the whole of the world, but I'll tell you what, no, you can't see their precious faces.

21:47Honestly. Okay, well, let's move on to something positive. It's going to be hot again this weekend. I mean, maybe it's not positive if you're like Hannah Spencer and you're dying under the hot conditions. Newsflash, it's hot. Hosepike band's about, for some people. Yeah. For some people, because there was a very interesting story this week about how apparently if you're on benefits, it's okay. The Hosepike band doesn't apply to you. Can I say, I gave that story to the news desk, which came in from a Daily Tea viewer stroke listener who had noticed this on some paperwork that he had received. In it went to the news desk, get a reporter to investigate it.

22:20Lo and behold, that very afternoon, Poppy, journalism in the making. Are you sure it wasn't you? They stood it up. Are you sure it wasn't me? Are you claiming anxiety so you can use your hosepipe? Do you know what? I am anxious about not being able to use my hosepipe because I've just planted a lavender rose honeysuckle and jasmine feature wall on a fence. It's nearly killed me, this thing, and now I can't properly water it because... You've got to go to the DWP. This is ridiculous. This is awful, right? Affinity Water. It sent me this on Tuesday. We're experiencing exceptionally high water use and have put in place a hosepipe ban.

22:51I was thinking, if I just delete this, does it mean I haven't seen it? Just text them back. Wrong number. Sorry. Not me. But then I got really confused with the hosepipe ban. I had lunch with somebody. I said, have you had a hosepipe ban yet? Being anxious about gardening. Again, this is the difference between a Gen X and a Gen Z, that you actually start caring about your garden. it's really well the haves and the have nots exactly that's the generational divide so I have a garden to be worried about and I'm worried about it and I was saying to this guy oh my god you know what am I going to do I can't water the plants and he was like well no you just use a watering can I was like oh is that what a hosepipe ban is you can still use water you just use it through a hose did you know that?

23:27no wait what's the point of a hosepipe ban then? well do you just water people using? you can't be generous with the hose as you're going completely mad so you can use the hosepipe to put the water into a different receptacle and then it's totally okay. It's fine. But by the way, this is a generational thing. The older you are, the more you water your gardens. My dad, who is like a boomer, born in 1946, 80 in September, happy birthday for them, dad, told me yesterday he lives in a semi-detached Victorian house with like some pots out the front and a modest bed down the driveway. He told me it took him two hours to water it every day.

24:01Is it like a water park? He's down to what he's doing. Anyway, no more. the other story we have to discuss and I want to discuss I'm so sorry for this passenger who was in the wrong place at the wrong time I really know what you're talking about this is the guy that was sucked out nearly sucked out of a Ryanair plane to group video of this is absolutely shocking well to be honest I would have liked to have god I'm horribly I now think that if it if there isn't video of it it doesn't exist yes I think it's AI as well half the time exactly so This is a Serbian passenger who was sucked half the way out the window when basically the pain shattered and the craft partially decompressed and his wife was holding onto his legs.

24:44We did see a video of the aftermath. We obviously didn't see that actual scene. And I'm sorry to be macabre, but, you know, it's an occupational hazard. I wouldn't have minded seeing that video because it was clearly a heroic act to keep this guy in the jet. Now, she said he's very badly injured. He's extremely traumatised. he hasn't been able to speak since and who can blame him? Because it's everyone's worst nightmare, that, isn't it? It's unimaginable. I mean, I used to go out watching Air Crash Investigation. You remember that? Yes. Another show that would beat Meghan Markle's programme. Indeed.

25:13And it's terrible if you watch that and then you go on like a family holiday because you spend the entire time petrified in your seat going, am I sat in the right one? Is this going to be the one that survives when the crash happens? Now I'm never going to want a window seat. No. I'm going to be sucked out. But also listen to Ryanair's, let's be honest, quite cut price response to this story. You know, journalists always go to, what's actually happened here? Can you give me a comment? On the record, this is the spokesman. This is how they describe this literally near-fatal, horrifying incident.

25:42The aircraft landed normally and passengers returned to the terminal. One passenger requested and received medical assistance on the ground. Stop. He requested. I'm not sure he did request it if he was non-verbal. because he nearly had his head thrown out 10 ,000 feet in the air. We need to conclude by agreeing that words matter. In the case of Ryanair, those words are inadequate. An incident. England's most favourite words. You know what the top of the ten is. I'm really, really proud of myself. I didn't have to look this up. I can already pronounce it. Diaphanous. Diaphanous, which I thought was diamond related.

26:22This is about silky material. Gauzy, see-through materials. Ethereals. The kind of thing that would be worn by Cate Blanchett. Yes. I was thinking Zendaya at the Odyssey premiere. Love that. Very diaphanous. And the producer said that one of the other words was ethereal, which I misread as urethral. That sounds quite medical. It's rather urological, that. Yes. And I'm not sure it would be a favourite word. Why isn't gobbledygook in there? Oh, it's quite hard to say. Gobbledygook? It's the best word in the English language, isn't it? Say that ten times quickly. I really... You would rather not.

26:54I really would rather not. Well, to end, I tell you what isn't a beautiful word or phrase, and that's playoff. Oh. Tonight, should we even bother? England versus France. The loser takes it all. Oh, negative. They're just going to smash us. The French team are so good. Who's the greatest loser? Although, again, that's another daytime show that should beat Meghan Markle, right? Meghan Markle's show. We could list this for hours, Camilla. We could just go through everything on the TV channels. Just say all the best to the Duchess of Sussex with that Emmy. We're all right behind you. Poppy, it's been a pleasure.

27:23Thank you very much, Camilla. We'll be back. No, I won't be. Well, I'll be back. I'll be back next week. But you'll be on the Daily Tee every day. Yeah, I'll be back at some point at 5pm. You'll be back next week with Michael.

28:21Thank you. That's Pricity.com slash one. Do you keep hearing podcast ads like this one, for example, but always wonder how you actually get involved with them for your own brand or organization? Well, it's easier than you think. We're Acast, and we give you the platform to do it all yourself. Browse thousands of popular podcasts, choose the shows that match your perfect audience, set your budget, and launch. And if you want a hand, our podcast specialists are there to help you launch with confidence. This is podcast advertising without barriers. Get started at acast.com slash advertise.