Well done Andy Burnham! At least the prisoners are happy

0:02The Telegraph.

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1:13Michael Deacon: Visit telegraph.co.uk slash newsletters today.

1:21Michael Deacon: Hello and welcome to The Weekend Tea with me, Poppy Coburn.

1:24Poppy Coburn: And me, Michael Deacon.

1:36Michael Deacon: Michael, I have to ask you, were you in Liverpool last week?

1:40Poppy Coburn: No.

1:41Michael Deacon: Funnily enough, you weren't at Labour Party conference?

1:43Poppy Coburn: No. I try to be as far away from that sort of thing as possible, thank you very much.

1:46Michael Deacon: You didn't come to listen to our new Prime Minister's brilliant speech that everyone has been lauding as the greatest thing since sliced bread.

1:52Poppy Coburn: Did I miss out horribly?

1:54Michael Deacon: I think so. Well, I mean, his speech was quite a funny one because everybody said it was very emotional. Obviously, he spoke about his late father. He's a better speaker than Keir Starmer. Wow. The bar is quite low for that one. I'm not really sure it's the compliment people think they're making when they talk about him. But it was pretty light on content. And the content that we were kind of teased to get as the big event that was going to happen was the end of the triple lock.

2:16Poppy Coburn: Yes. Well, I mean, that is big, isn't it? It's massive. I mean, you know, they're planning to scrap it possibly in 2030 if they get re-elected. And naturally enough, quite a lot of pensioners, very unhappy about that but i want to say something about this because i think there's even worse to come okay because they won't just stop at scrapping the triple lock because that won't just magically fix the public finances with it i think there's more to come the next thing they will push for is means testing the state pension so i think i i i've heard people suggesting this already and i think what effectively what will happen is if you work every day of your life and pay national insurance all the way through your life for decades in end you'll get nothing you'll get nothing back however if you don't do a day's work in your life never never never pay any national insurance yeah you'll get a state pension so it'll be just for you that is the future yeah i i found

3:05Michael Deacon: the whole thing a little bit unnerving to be honest with you and apparently i'm not alone because of the markets were also freaking out so andy burnham's big thing is this social care push he wants to do a national care service because everyone's looking at the nhs and going god that model's so fantastic i wish we could expand that out to another area of public life the thing is it sounds very expensive to do a national care service it's one of the reasons why politicians have kicked it down the road for many decades now because it's very difficult when you've got an aging population to have a national care service that's free at the point of use and the way he said he was going to fund it was by doing this end of the triple lock so i did go to x and i was like that seems like it's probably not going to work out it's not so what they're doing is that they're kicking pensioners they're going off the triple lock um which is something that i think labour party members enjoy particularly those who falsely believe that by going after pensions now it's going to make their situation any better.

3:54Michael Deacon: Trust me, it won't, particularly if you're in work, for a scheme that is definitely going to cost us billions of pounds that is going to necessitate a tax rise, which, funnily enough, he didn't bring up.

4:05Poppy Coburn: And then you know what they'll say. They'll say, well, look, our economy is very sluggish. We need growth to fund things like social care and ending the triple lock. Well, that hasn't actually done it. What we need to do, the only way to get growth back is we've got to rejoin the EU. And that's another thing Andy Burnham was suggesting this week. He was hinting that it is possible that in the future he could say we should rejoin the EU. And that interests me, really, because it's the opposite of Andy Burnham's usual message, isn't it? He's always talking about the importance of devolving power to local people.

4:37Poppy Coburn: Rejoin the EU. Well, that's the opposite.

4:39Michael Deacon: Did you hear his reasoning for this?

4:40Poppy Coburn: It's the exact opposite.

4:41Michael Deacon: His reasoning for this is so funny. I thought it was something out of a sketch. Well, I like unions of all forms. That was actually his reasoning for going back into the European Union for getting closer. He likes unions of all forms.

4:54Poppy Coburn: Yeah, I like trade unions.

4:56Michael Deacon: Trade unions, good.

4:57Poppy Coburn: And therefore, I like vast super states.

5:00Michael Deacon: You can tell he's thought about it. He's clearly put the work into it. It's a cutting room floor of all the bad ideas that even Keir Starman's terrible government was like, oh, we can't do that. We're not that desperate yet. Clearly, we've got to that point of total desperation because, as you say, he's still going to do a thing for growth. He doesn't care about growth. If you didn't actually mention the economic growth at all in this, it's about how can I bung money to people that I like and take money from people I don't, which I suppose you could say is classic Labour Party.

5:26Poppy Coburn: Well, indeed. There's one thing. I'm just going to say something positively. I know a lot of our readers would be very, very unhappy if our Prime Minister tried to take us back into the EU, but I think there would be one upside for our readers. In the EU, you can't tax education. So basically, if Labour take us back into the EU, they'll have to drop VAT on school fees. So there you go. Let's look on the bright side.

5:47Michael Deacon: And it also might help our farmers a little bit. Maybe this is the way we're going to save ourselves. As Telegraph employees were coming out now and saying, European Union, please save us from the Labour Party. There you go. It can't be any worse than the government we currently have. Well, there's another party conference coming up because we're deep in party conference season. Conservative Party Conference, obviously. We'll be starting on Sunday and I will be there. Really? I'm doing a bit of a plug.

6:10Poppy Coburn: You're one of the star speakers, are you?

6:12Michael Deacon: I can't say I'm a star, but I will be there with the JLT. we are doing a young conservative conference event, which will be at six o 'clock on Sunday. So please do join us if you're going to be there. I was immediately asked the question when we were planning this, Poppy, when you were young conservative, you must have been obviously working at the Telegraph. Now you've got right-wing politics. Not quite, guys. Actually, if you do a bit of Googling, you can find out that my politics when I was young were very strident, but not quite correct. I was actually at court night. Were you really? Yes.

6:47Michael Deacon: Hang on a minute.

6:48Poppy Coburn: You've just used the phrase when I was young. Yes. You are young now.

6:51Michael Deacon: No, but...

6:52Poppy Coburn: How long ago was this?

6:53Michael Deacon: My life is short, so everything feels like it was very long ago. This was 2019, so I was 19 years old.

7:00Poppy Coburn: That's practically last week.

7:02Michael Deacon: It feels to me a million years ago, which is quite convenient.

7:06Poppy Coburn: Hang on, how old were you in 2019?

7:07Michael Deacon: I was 19.

7:09Poppy Coburn: Oh, okay. I was, yeah, it's really easy to remember my age.

7:12Michael Deacon: I was four years old.

7:12Poppy Coburn: Okay, yes, then I'll explain it.

7:14Michael Deacon: I can't say I made the best decisions at the time. You can also see from the clothes that I was wearing, that hats wasn't entirely in my right mind. I used to wear dungarees quite a lot.

7:21Poppy Coburn: Right, okay. Well, I guess that's uniform for young Corbynistas. Interesting choice. So you were a young Corbynista. So did you have any friends who were young conservatives or did you used to hang out with them?

7:35Michael Deacon: Friends. Friends who were young conservatives. And I absolutely not. I was pretty appalling towards them. What did you do? Well, I'd usually just point and laugh at them. that was usually enough

7:44Poppy Coburn: but you were a bully you were bullying young conservatives completely I'm sorry about it and now at the weekend you're going to be hanging out with them they're going to get revenge on you because the first question

7:52Michael Deacon: I'm sure someone's going to ask me is well you know when you were young Poppy when you were a young lady hey did you vote and I'm going to have to say Jeremy Corbyn and then they're all going to come attack me and then they're going to say are you conservative now I'm going to go like oh I'm not talking about who I'm voting now

8:04Poppy Coburn: I can't believe you've admitted this in public your secret shame

8:07Michael Deacon: well I have to be completely honest because it is out there I mean just wait until you find out what I was doing with Extinction Rebellion and then you really will lose your head. Oh, my God. Hey, Michael, at least I wasn't dressing up as a woman.

8:18Poppy Coburn: Eh?

8:19Michael Deacon: That was you. Oh, right.

8:20Poppy Coburn: I was thinking I'm sure you were dressing as a woman.

8:24Michael Deacon: Well, I think I passed. I mean, you're dressing as a woman now. I think I passed fantastically, don't you? OK, well, more political news, not particularly pleasant this week. The early release prison scheme is finally coming to fruition. It's been the week that people have started to be let out en masse. You can see that people aren't particularly happy about it, including some of the prisoners. I did see one photo that a photographer managed to get of a guy holding a plastic bag over his head which you think is quite a good way of not identifying yourself apart from, and this is quite a major problem it was a clear plastic bag so you could kind of see his head he'd also cut a breathing hole into it so he just looked like he was doing a really crap Halloween costume basically but anyway these people are now walking off streets again and there's one fantastic video where you can see one of the prisoners who's recently released and this is posted on the ex account of the Shadow Justice Secretary Nick Timothy thanking Andy Burnham for letting him out of prison.

9:16Poppy Coburn: Do you have a message for the Prime Minister Andy Burnham? Yeah, stop sending people to prison in the first place. People who don't need to go help them before they get there. You should stop thinking about your money and think about people's health. Like I'm 50, I've been in and out of jail all my life. I've been in jail I've got 360 convictions it's help I need I've got an addiction to stealing yeah this doesn't help me I'm going to have to go

9:46Michael Deacon: what are you going to do now I don't know I'm going to go stealing again

9:49Poppy Coburn: I'm going to go stealing so I'm going to end up back in because they haven't helped me this time whatever I get

9:56Michael Deacon: it's pretty on the nose there thanks mate thanks for letting me go and then he's just going to go off and commit another crime immediately afterwards

10:02Poppy Coburn: Well, yeah, I mean, exactly. You had a prisoner talking to journalists. Journalists ask, you know, so what are you going to do now you've been released? And he just openly says, I'm going to go and start stealing again. I mean, quite openly. And the reporters are a bit bemused by this. And they then ask, what are you going to steal? And I thought I was like waiting for the follow up questions. Where are you going to steal it from? What day? What time? Just so you can pass on to the police. It would save them a bit of bother, you know, with arresting you and putting you back in prison again. So yes, it was quite extraordinary.

10:34Michael Deacon: I suppose with our criminal justice system being what it is, I mean, you may as well just be honest. You may as well just tell the truth. It's not like there's actually any consequences for you stealing. You get your bed and board, get to enjoy some food. I guess you get to indulge in drugs as well because they are completely right throughout prisons. You probably have quite a fun time. Then you're back on the streets again.

10:49Poppy Coburn: Well, there you go. Since we're on the subject of criminals and police chaos, what on earth is going on at ARIA Fairford? Now, I don't suppose you know the answer because nobody seems to. But, I mean, I don't even know what we can say about it, what was happening there with the arrest of these possible terror suspects and then releasing them on bail. And then who knows what they were up to or what they're alleged to have done.

11:15Michael Deacon: There are some fantastic elements of the story. So I remember waking up in the morning, because it happened in the early hours last weekend, and waking up and going, oh, God, that looks pretty serious. It was an airbase that was used by the Americans, so carrying out the Iran war. so you immediately think is it a random state actors is a serious terror thought we start to get more details coming through that they might potentially be making bombs and then there was a really fantastic bit of news which was apparently they were discovered by a person who was coming back from a party who was driving through the countryside he suddenly just saw a group of what they described as middle eastern men just running out of these white vans you know into into the undergrowth and and they immediately called the police and that was apparently part of the reason where they were caught.

11:57Michael Deacon: And then we got a contradictory bit of information that these people were apparently discovered by one of the masterminds, alleged masterminds in this case, calling the police on themselves. I can't make a head or tail of any of this.

12:12Poppy Coburn: It doesn't make any sense.

12:14Michael Deacon: Sorry, this is Four Lions. This is just the plot of the film Four Lions. Yeah, Chris Morris film, isn't it? Yeah, a fantastic film. I love that scene where they're in the van on their way into London and they're just singing, dancing in the moonlight. I imagine that was how, maybe that's how they were caught. they were just blasting music out of their white van on the way to potentially Blah Power FM.

12:30Poppy Coburn: Yeah, it's not often you get many comedy films about Islamic terrorism. But if anyone's not seen it, yeah, Four Lines by Chris Morrison, I think it was released 2010. Do watch it if you can. I'll tell you one other thing that I find totally baffling about this story, which is that, as I mentioned earlier, they released the suspects after 24 hours on bail. And I thought, well, that's a bit odd. But also because here's another story from this week, on Tuesday, BBC, Anti-migrant activist Daniel Thomas, also known as Danny Tomo, has been refused bail during a Crown Court hearing over the alleged slashing of a dinghy in the English Channel.

13:07Poppy Coburn: Now, hang on a minute. You can be released on bail if you are suspected of terrorist activity. However, if you are alleged to have damaged some property belonging to a people smuggling gang, no, there's no bail for you. No, you're too dangerous. No, you're staying here, sunshine.

13:23Michael Deacon: Yeah, so if you... I don't get it. Can you explain that? Just to explain that again, so if you slash a boat in the English Channel, someone who's currently in the process of committing a crime, you are a dangerous threat to British national security because you're trying to stop people smuggling. Okay. And if you are potentially trying to blow up an airbase, that's fine. Like, that's okay. You've got a good legal case. Well, how about you go, you know, go puddling around the countryside, you know, taking some of the scenery and like maybe we'll come back to you and charge you with a crime. I suppose I'm tying into the prison release story.

13:54Michael Deacon: They're going to go into prison for potentially trying to blow up this airbase. And they'll be out within a couple of months. Someone will be interviewing them. What are you up to do next? I'm going to blow up a plane.

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14:40Poppy Coburn: I'm Dominic Nichols.

14:41Michael Deacon: I'm Francis Dernley.

14:43Poppy Coburn: We're hosts on Ukraine The Latest from The Telegraph, the world's most listened to podcast on the war in Ukraine, with more than 120 million downloads.

14:51Michael Deacon: Every weekday since the full-scale invasion began, we've brought you on-the-ground reporting, expert analysis and the biggest interviews.

14:58Poppy Coburn: From weaponry and military strategy to the reality of life in Russia and Ukraine, we follow the conflict from every angle. Listen daily, wherever you get your podcasts.

15:17Poppy Coburn: why don't we move on to a story that at least makes some sense to me i don't think it's going to make any sense because it's about football and this is all about manchester city do you know anything about this shall i provide a brief explanation you're gonna have to find a complete

15:29Michael Deacon: explanation as far as i can tell there was something to do this week with manchester Andy Burnham bottle caps. Maybe there are other football related stories. This is how little football comes into my head. You're going to have to take over.

15:43Poppy Coburn: Basically, Manchester City are a team that used to be very, very unsuccessful. And then in the past couple of decades, they got taken over by some rich people and they started winning lots and lots of trophies. But then there were allegations that they might have been up to some financial jiggery pokery. Cheating, basically. And finally, after about three years of investigations, an independent panel has ruled that they are guilty of cheating. Now, Man City are protesting their innocence. They say they're going to appeal. But it looks like they could face some very, very serious punishment if they are found guilty.

16:16Poppy Coburn: I mean, they could be expelled from the Premier League, relegated down. Goodness knows how many divisions. We don't know yet, but it's very, very serious, basically. So, you know, if you're someone who plays Sunday League football, I mean, look out, you might be playing Man City next weekend. You never know. We don't know how low down.

16:32Michael Deacon: Millwall's suddenly going to have a fantastic football match against...

16:36Poppy Coburn: We don't know what's going to happen to them. Their former manager, Pet Guardiola, who was manager for much of this time, he's released a statement saying to his old club, I'll always be behind you. Now, I don't know if he means behind you in the queue for the prison canteen, but anyway, there you go. He's released no other comment on this.

16:54Michael Deacon: Hang on. What is this cheating scandal? Because I imagine you can't just pay off the referee and say,

16:59Poppy Coburn: No, not bribery, but sort of just fiddling with the books to enable them to spend more money than they should have been spending.

17:09Michael Deacon: So they want to spend even more money on footballers than they currently are?

17:12Poppy Coburn: Well, there are lots of restrictions on how much you can spend relating to... Do you know what? Even talking about this is starting to bore me. I mean, I actually like football. But anyway, basically, they've been...

17:25Michael Deacon: Let's move on to something much more salacious, Michael. let's move on to something much more salacious I love this story of the lady in Tennessee who's been on death row for now I think it's 30 years or so for committing a horrific crime when she was 18 murder, desecration of a body, awful so obviously she's on death row the whole point of death row is that you're about to die, right? she goes in for a lethal injection lethal, again, point in the word they somehow manage to botch this lethal injection so what they do is they rush her to a hospital Can you explain this to me, Michael? So they botch a lethal injection.

18:02Michael Deacon: Botching a lethal injection, as the name would imply, means that you're still alive. Isn't the whole point that you want to kill this person? Well, yeah.

18:10Poppy Coburn: I mean, essentially, one moment the state is trying to kill her and the next moment it's trying to save her life. And I find this quite confusing. But then I think, well, what happens next? What's the plan? If you succeed in saving her life, are you going to reschedule her execution? So essentially, you are saying something her life so that you can kill her.

18:30Michael Deacon: Yeah.

18:31Poppy Coburn: It's like something out of a Joseph Heller novel, you know, Catch-22. It's that kind of sort of hideous black humour, isn't it? And yet, it is real.

18:40Michael Deacon: There's quite a bizarre thing that's going on with the US with lethal injections. So lots of people who don't agree with the death penalty, they're trying to deal in any way they possibly can to make it more difficult to execute people. So they go after the pharmaceutical companies that make the chemicals that are put in the lethal injections. they launch all these appeals i mean she's been on death row for decades now they tried to make it impossible so there was a last minute injunction that they tried to stop it on the grounds that she was abused as a child which is like that's a very long time ago so not really relevant so they went ahead with it anyway even though it didn't work but what is bizarre is that you're not actually allowed to pick how you're going to be executed anymore because they have these very strange restrictions right on strange unusual punishment so a lot of it is being done on the state level even if you would put in your own request so this lady apparently has become a buddhist not quite in keeping with her kind of whole I'm a murderer thing.

19:27Michael Deacon: I think the first rule of Buddhism is that you don't harm other people, but there you go. She's a late-to-life convert, and she wanted an all-female firing squad. What?

19:37Poppy Coburn: Feminism. What a blow for equal rights.

19:40Michael Deacon: Couldn't you have given it to her? I mean, the only way that they could have messed that one up is if you miss, and then all you have to do is reload. I mean, it was certainly said for the problem of the sending her to a hospital.

19:49Poppy Coburn: I'm very impressed by how much you know about this. it's like we've sort of morphed into a true crime podcast. Those are very, very popular. Maybe we should. Very, very popular.

19:57Michael Deacon: And also, I have to say for my demographic, for young women, we're obsessed with true crime. It's a terrible, terrible habit.

20:02Poppy Coburn: Why is that?

20:03Michael Deacon: I think it's got something to do with it. At the back of your head, you like scaring yourself. So it's like people who like to go see horror movies. I love watching true crime stuff because usually the victim would be like, it was a young woman with middle-parted hair. And I'm like, that's me. That's me. I'm one of the people that he would have killed. and it's like there's some weird psychological thing going on where you're kind of scared by it, but you're also fascinated by it. It's completely massive. Men always find this absolutely incomprehensible.

20:29Poppy Coburn: I do. It's incredibly weird. But anyway, perhaps we should talk about something slightly lighter. Celebrity Traitors. That's the Potter show on TV. That's just launched this week. And I don't know if you're a fan. Were you watching?

20:43Michael Deacon: You know what? I usually don't watch television, but I do actually quite like The Traitors. There you go. Because it's such a phenomenon. You have to keep up with it. I very much like Alan Carr last season, just being what I thought was the worst traitor. I didn't think you could get a worse traitor than he was. He was getting into giggles. Someone would say, are you a traitor? He'd be like, oh, I'm just nervous. I'm just nervous. But we seem to actually have had an even worse traitor this time around, unless it's some fantastic scheme from Richard Grant.

21:08Poppy Coburn: Richard E. Grant, yeah, he is the Withle and I actor. He's a fabulous actor. So he seems, certainly in episode one, he seems to have given away the fact that he was a traitor, which is, of course, not what you are supposed to do. What are you? Traitor. You're what? Traitor. He's a traitor. Are you? Yeah. Right.

21:33Michael Deacon: What's the point of being in the game if you're not?

21:35Poppy Coburn: You know? Right. OK. He's been sort of acting as though it was a gaffe. Whoops, I didn't mean to do that. How are we going to cover this up? I think he did it on purpose. I think you're right I mean he's a very clever man but also he's an actor he's an award winning actor he can act doing something silly and making a fool of himself but I think it's a deliberate attempt to actually steal the show which he has done because that's all anyone's talking about

21:58Michael Deacon: I completely agree with you I think it's a fake out I think it's a very very clever because when he actually gets under the circle if someone says oh you're a traitor it's like do you think I'm that stupid do you think I'm actually that stupid I just confessed to you that I'm a traitor on day one I think he's got a good chance of winning

22:13Poppy Coburn: well yeah We shall see, we shall see. There you go, we'll all be watching, I'm sure.

22:17Michael Deacon: Well, this is a story that I know that would have irritated you, Michael, because it's got all the classic features of Labour idiocy. So we're going back to Labour Party conference and a fringe event. And I think a lot of Labour Party politicians, they kind of relax when they go to a fringe event. They're like, no one's here. Everyone's on the main stage watching Andy Burnham do a speech or listening to John Healy try and convince the country we've still got cash. So they can just be who they really are. They can say what they really think about the country that they presume to govern. and one such MP decided to go on a bizarre rant about far-right fantasies of pubs with warm beer and black Labradors.

22:52Michael Deacon: Can you explain what this bizarre far-right fantasy actually is, Michael?

22:55Poppy Coburn: No, I absolutely can't. I cannot for the life of me understand how having a pint in a country pub with a black Labrador at your feet is far-right or something. I don't get it. Obviously, everyone's been joking about it and saying black labs matter and all the rest of it. What really puzzles me is why she specifically mentioned And black Labrador, surely a black Labrador can't be a white supremacist. I mean, if anything, a black supremacist. It's the white Labradors you want to watch out for. You know, they're the ones protesting in Portsmouth and bursting dinghies and things like that. So, you know, watch out for them.

23:25Poppy Coburn: But funnily enough, I do say it is perhaps possible for a dog to be racist. And I'm going to explain why. I don't know if you're a fan of Curb Your Enthusiasm. The brilliant sitcom by Larry David. Anyway, there is an episode of it in which Larry goes to the pound and adopts a dog. It's not a black Labrador. I think it was a German Shepherd. But anyway, you know, he's walking around, introduced it to his friends. And one of his friends, who is a black woman, says, that dog is racist. So that dog, every time it sees me, it barks at me, it growls at me really aggressively. And yet with white people, oh, it's always very friendly with them.

24:03Poppy Coburn: I think your dog's a racist. And Larry's going, my dog's a racist. can it be? Anyway, at the end of the episode there's a bit of a twist because what Larry finds out is his dog is not racist, it's homophobic. It was barking at her not because she's black but because she's a lesbian. There you go.

24:21Michael Deacon: See, that's the problem.

24:23Poppy Coburn: I mean,

24:23Michael Deacon: what do you do in that situation? I suppose if you're a Labour Party MP you just put the dog down, you know, for being too offensive. That's it. You're just questioning the dog at a pound. It's just like, what do you think about trade unions? What do you think about the European Union? Would you take us back in? Nigel Farage and you're just waiting for it to start growling just waiting

24:40Poppy Coburn: I think they're going to rule that black Labradors are a breed of dangerous dogs not because of them biting people but because they just have very right wing views

24:49Michael Deacon: so bully XLs are just misunderstood they just need a bit of total love and care they need community centres they just need a bit more investment into their well being but black Labradors are disgusting fascists and need to be put in jail

25:00Poppy Coburn: I think that's it there you go I hope there's time for me to raise one more story with you probably because I've got a very important announcement to make here. Now, apparently the organisers of the Mr England contest were basically a sort of male beauty contest. They're looking for the hunk of the year. They do. There is such a thing. They're very worried because they've not had enough entries this year. They're worried that we are facing a nationwide hunk shortage. So they're appealing for entries. So I thought it's time for me to step up and do my patriotic duty. I'm going to put myself forward for hunk of the year.

25:34Poppy Coburn: I'm going to be Mr England. Am I going to have to wax your legs again? I can see you're laughing at this, as if you think I'm not a suitable candidate, as if you think I'm not in peak physical condition. But I can tell you that I actually have quite considerable experience of modelling, male modelling. I do. In fact, I can tell you, this is a genuine fact. OK, I am probably the only man in Britain who has both appeared topless in the sun and naked in a lads mag. That is genuinely true. Now, there's plenty of women who can who can say that, but not many men.

26:06Michael Deacon: You're going to have to give me a bit more context. Now, I know what you're talking about for the lads, Mike, but please tell me. Page three, girl, Michael.

26:12Poppy Coburn: Yes. Well, OK, it wasn't actually on page three. This happened 20 years ago when I was briefly a feature writer at The Sun before I came here. And there's some scientific researcher who had been doing a study to show that some people can be thin on the outside but fat on the inside. In other words, they've got lots of fat around their internal organs, even though they're outwardly slim. Now, at that time, I was quite a lot slimmer than I am now. So they sent me along to have a scan. They had a body scan, x-rayed me and everything like that. And they found out that, indeed, I was someone who was thin on the outside and fat on the inside.

26:49Poppy Coburn: And so in the sun, they published two photos, big photos, one of me just in a pair of boxer shorts, nothing else, so topless. Oh, wow. And then they showed the x-rays of my disgusting fatty organs. so there you are I have been topless but I do want to say that I am no longer thin on the outside but fat on the inside because I'm now fat on the outside as well so therefore at least I'm being

27:09Michael Deacon: consistent well now you should do you have to you have to go back by the way you're going to have to do another photo shoot so you can show that this is what happens when you don't deal with your

27:16Poppy Coburn: visceral body fat I have done an awful lot of embarrassing things in my career but I think

27:20Michael Deacon: I'm going to draw the line there well on that titillating image that's all from us I'll see you again next week

27:28Thank you.