Moment 114 - Winning Will Cost You More Than You Expect: Tim Grover

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0:34One of the things you said, which I found really, um... thought -provoking and it kind of bucked the trend in chapter 12 of your book is... when someone says showing up is half the battle, you're looking at an individual who's already losing the battle. People say that all the time, showing up is half the battle. Showing up is none of the battle. You showed up? I showed up? What we supposed to not do the podcast and what we have a drink? Showing up is none of the battle. People want aculagion rewards for doing things that they're supposed to do. People want to get acknowledged for things that you're supposed to show up.

1:12You get supposed to practice. You're supposed to get results. No, people have a hard time understanding now the difference between feedback and criticism. It's exactly the same thing. It's just how you hear it. You, in order to get anything in life and to get anywhere you must show up. If you think showing up is winning, you've already lost the battle. You've already lost the battle. People want to get a medal for doing the easy things. People show up every single day. People show up every single day and are dealing with circumstances that are beyond your imagination. They still show up. I love to give examples to individuals that just happened.

2:07We're sitting in a completely different location of where this podcast was originally supposed to be done. Showing up and you were congratulating yourself for, hey, showing up is really important. You've just half the battle. You've been like, oh, well, we showed up here. We won. We was like, all right, no. We actually showed up and we got thrown out. Now we got to go show up somewhere else and make this thing all work again. And people come back and say, oh, you know what? You showed up. Don't worry about it. You won that battle today. No. You know that story. So we landed in LA and we got to the hotel.

2:44And the hotel offered us a certain room in the penthouse suite. But we felt we could replicate the aesthetic we need to make the show successful. We're looking for somewhere where it feels like you are in my house. Because we recorded in the UK in my house. So it needs to feel at home because of the nature of the conversation we're having. It needs to be done. Details. Yeah, right. So we got to the hotel. They're like, well, you can have, you know, the penthouse suite. There's one day it's booked for. So if you're through the episodes, the set will change. And I was like, we don't want the set to change.

3:14So they said, well, there's a meeting room. We'll give it to you completely for it at the back. We can't do it in a meeting room. They showed us six or seven rooms. They took us around every room in the hotel. No. So although the podcast was two days away and we had 20 odd guests coming, sure, we as a team, because again, our religion is to carry out the details, looked for somewhere else. We went on viewing. So we found this place in salient expensive place, as you see. But we've always believed in those details. We always believe it really matters. And then Jack and the team and Bertha to their credit have built this whole entire set, which nobody can see in the next 24 hours, running back and forth from target.

3:51We don't have to do that. But we, because we've, as you said earlier, we've seen the outcome of that suffering now. And once you've tasted it, you can't unsee it. You can't unsee it. You just can't. You can't. You know, people always said, you know, you can't, you can't forget what you've seen. You can't unlearn what you've learned. You just, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't unlearn it. You can learn from it and learn other things on top of it. But you're never going to unlearn those things. You're never going to be able to unsee the things that you've seen. And that's when people just don't understand.

4:31They can't, they can't see and understand your level of craziness. They can't see your level of obsession. And then once those things no longer matter for you, then you know it's time to move on to another endeavor, which you've already had in your previously. You know, when you, when you would talk earlier about relationships, we talked about the relationships of those around you and how that can be impacted you. We talked about at the very start of this conversation about our dark sides. One of the ways we sometimes see the consequences of our dark sides is in our romantic relationships. One of the ways we see the consequences of our obsession is in our romantic relationships.

5:12So tell me from a both a personal perspective as Tim, the impact that your dark side in obsession and your desire to win and be great has had on your relationships and those that you've coached and you've worked with. From a personal standpoint, I will say this, winning will cost you everything, but we'll reward you with so much more. It's going to cost you everything. And every decision I've made, I knew what the consequences was. I knew what the cost was going to be. It may have not been at that particular moment, but I knew down the line. If I go do this decision, if I go work with this individual, or I decide to do this now, somewhere down the line, this is what it's going to cost me.

6:03I tell the story in the book where my daughter came up to me when she was like five years old. And said, Daddy, why do you travel so much? And I said, sweetheart, this is how I take care of the family. This is how I provide for you. This is how I take care of mom. This is how I put a roof over the head. This is how I put food on the table. She goes, Daddy, if I eat less, will you stay on more? At age five, I was packing for a trip.

6:44Now, if this was a fairy tale, I'd unpack my bag, I'd grab her hand, and we'd a went out for ice cream.

6:58I kept packing. Now, I'm not telling anybody out there that's a decision they should make. But that was my decision. And then many years later, I sat down my daughter, and I said, hey, I want to talk to you. And I wanted to discuss with her why Dad is the way he is. And before I could even start, she goes, Dad, I understand.

7:33She goes, I understand. I could see what you provided for mom and I. I could see the sacrifices you made for us. Was it important for you to hit her? Yes, very important. And I just never knew when the right time was. And then one day I just said, this is the day. This is the day. She goes, you taught me how to make the toughest decisions in life. She just not only taught me, you showed me. You taught me how to be independent, when to be dependent, when to be independent. So sometimes when you think you're making the wrong decision, or you have to make the toughest decision, because you're thinking about somebody else and the consequences, if you think the price of winning is too high, wait till you get the bill from regret.

8:39And that bill from regret is generational. And there's a lot of people listening to this, that that bill has been passed on from generation to generation, and you are holding that bill right now. And somebody in some one of your generations has to pay that bill off. In order for the generation to move on. And the only way that bill gets paid off is you've got to be willing to make the hardest decisions. The other side of that story is I would often fly. My family was in Chicago. I was doing work on the West Coast. So when she had a school play, when she had a volleyball game, I would fly from the West Coast, land in Chicago, watch her performance for 45 minutes to an hour, and get on the plane that same night, and be back for my client the next day.

9:55And there was a lot of times where I didn't even get a chance to speak to her. She just knew I was in the audience, because I had to, there was the only flight to get back. Those are the parts nobody remembers. Everybody remembers the one event you don't show up for. And I guaranteed every individual who's won at multiple things, who's been successful at many things over and over again, at some point in your career, at some point in your life, you forgot a very important day, you missed an event, you just did, but nobody wants to talk about it. Because people are going to judge you on that one thing.

10:42Q1 is often when businesses start implementing new systems and processes in hopes of creating efficiencies for the year ahead. And over the course of my career, I've learnt just how crucial having the right systems in places, one which has helped me across many of my investments is NetSuite. They're also a sponsor of this podcast. NetSuite is the number one cloud financial system through their streamlined platform. You'll find all of your accounting financial management inventory and HR in one place. Their technology has been a real game changer, especially for my team at Flight Studio, as over the last year, we've moved out of startup mode and into scale at mode.

11:17We no longer have to juggle multiple systems and having everything together has reduced the number of manual tasks and errors. Over 41 ,000 businesses have chosen to future -proof their business with NetSuite. So if you'd like to learn how it can help your business, head to netsuite .com slash Bartlett and free download the CFO's guide to AI and machine learning. That's netsuite .com slash Bartlett. Q1 is often when businesses start implementing new systems and processes in hopes of creating efficiencies for the year ahead. And over the course of my career, I've learnt just how crucial having the right systems in places, one which has helped me across many of my investments is NetSuite.

11:55They're also a sponsor of this podcast. NetSuite is the number one cloud financial system through their streamlined platform. You'll find all of your accounting financial management inventory and HR in one place. Their technology has been a real game changer, especially for my team at Flight Studio, as over the last year, we've moved out of startup mode and into scale at mode. We no longer have to juggle multiple systems and having everything together has reduced the number of manual tasks and errors. Over 41 ,000 businesses have chosen to future -proof their business with NetSuite. So if you'd like to learn how it can help your business, head to netsuite .com slash Bartlett and free download the CFO's guide to AI and machine learning.

12:33That's netsuite .com slash Bartlett.