Moment 138: The Power of Letting Go & Embracing the Unknown Bozoma Saint John

0:03You first sort of, real significant career moves seem to be this encounter with Spike Lee's agency. So for people that don't know who is Spike Lee and how did that happen? Spike Lee is Blackity, Blackity, Black. First of all, all the blackness. No, but he is a film director, really, at his core, filmmaker. Let's call it that because he certainly produces and does other things and writes. But he has an advertising agency in New York. When I was there, it was on Madison Avenue. So Madison Avenue is like the place for advertising in the world, right? It's the place where the show Mad Men was made from.

0:48So DDB is one of the biggest agencies and Spike had a JV with them. What brought you to New York in the first place? Curiosity. I graduated from Wesley University, which was in Meltown, Connecticut. And it was just time to apply to med school and I really didn't want to. New York was right there. It was like an hour and a half from school. And I really didn't have a plan. I just went. Trying to escape what I thought was my destiny. And like many people say I think sometimes in this business, I kind of fell into this. But I think my destiny actually came to find me. That's what it was. I opened up and allowed for something greater that I didn't even know was possible to find me instead.

1:36So many people are in that chapter of their life where they're trying to find their destiny or trying to help, trying to figure out a way to let their destiny find them. When you look back and connect the dots as to how you created came to being, you think about that first moment where you went to New York and then you're on Madison Avenue, you're working for Spike Lee and you find your destiny or it finds you. If your daughter comes to you and says, Mum, what advice have you got for me on finding my destiny? What have I got to do to actively bring in that? Have you ever heard that statement like let go and let God?

2:11No. Have you heard that before? It's a very Christian thing. I feel like in the black church there's a lot of that let go and let God. You know as if God is just going to just sprinkle magic dust over you. And I'm like, no, I don't necessarily believe that just as a plain statement. I think the letting go is an action. It's not surrender. It's not like you just laid out and it's going to find you. You're not going to find your destiny sitting on the couch. The letting go for me is like the letting go of preconceived ideas about what it is that you are going to do. Letting go of, sometimes you're like trying to do something and keep hitting a wall.

2:58You're just like, oh, if I just hit it one more time, it's going to break. Sometimes it's like, you know, that's a cement wall, right? If you just move five feet to the right, it's actually plaster and you're going to go right through it. You know, it's like sometimes it's the letting go of this thought that you had, which is like, oh, I'm going to do this thing right here is the magic. And I'll tell you this. Look, it didn't just happen at that stage of my life. It's happening right now where you know, I'm like, okay, well, I think I am done with my corporate CMO work. I believe I'm finished.

3:37So I'm going to let go of it. I'm not going to be actively looking for the next CMO job. I want whatever is coming for me to come, going to allow space for it. Now, it doesn't mean I'm just sitting around. I'm also trying to polish other skills. I'm trying to create, you know, because perhaps the next thing that's coming is somewhere more in that space. I can feel it, like in my spirit. And that understanding of like your intuition, and if you're listening to it, it's like a magnet. It's going to just draw you closer to the thing that you're supposed to do. And it has happened every single time.

4:25Like every time without fail, like every job, every move I've made has done because somebody said, oh, you know what, this makes logical sense. One plus one equals two. Sometimes I'm just like, but it's not math though. You know, it's physics because not it's not the addition and the subtraction. I'm just going to sit here and I'm going to get up and I'm going to go talk to this person and I'm going to talk to that person. I'm going to sit back down again. And I'm going to write this thing out. And then like magic, I don't know how else to describe it. It's like the destiny appears. I'm telling you every time it has happened, every single time, even when people were like, oh, that is never going to happen.

5:08Like you're wasting your time. I don't know why you'd go over there and do that. I'm like, I don't know. Something inside. I'm telling you, telling me that this is the way to go. I'm going to go over there every time it's worked. But do you believe, so there's a lot there for me. There's a lot that I'm interested in there. Do you believe, because I want to be clear, are you, because some people here that and go, I love that. Everything happens for a reason. I'm going to chill and my fate is pre -written and it's coming for me. Both said, all I got to do is wait. And it's going to, because everything happens for a reason.

5:43It's pre -written. So I just got to put these tarot cards and I'm going to, no, no, no, no, no. This is when I start banging on the table. No, no, no. If I just chill here. No, no, no, no, no, chill in here. I think you're probably talking about energy. I'm not one of those chill in here, type people anyway. And I don't believe things are pre -written, actually. For me, the idea of destiny isn't that something is already predetermined for you. I think you create your destiny also. Meaning that, look, there was a movie in the late 90s called Sliding Doors. Stargwyneth Paltrow. The concept is basically, if you're running for the train and you catch it, you jump inside, you have one destiny.

6:33If the door is closed, you still stand on platform, then you have to catch the next train. It takes you to a different destiny. That's the concept, right? It is what I also believe, which is that my destiny is not pre -written, but the movements that I make are what lead me to the thing that's actually for me. And so it's a constant evolution. So I don't believe that you have to sit and wait for it. I think your constant movement, your constant discovery, is actually what then brings the destiny to you. So this isn't about predetermined anything, or just like, let me just chill out on, like I said, you can't sit on the couch and expect your destiny to come for you.

7:14So it's not reading my horoscope, but the terror cards and... No disrespect to the terror card readers. But I do believe that we are constantly creating our destiny, you know, that this life that we're living these experiences, that people were meeting, that people in your relationships with, it happens because there's a certain action that you take that leads you to that thing. Now it's your choice, whether or not you take it. And then that's when the whole intuition thing comes up for me, right? Because I'm like, now, you may have caused a lot of action, and then you have a couple of choices in front of you.

7:54Where are you going? Which one is calling you? And then you know what people like to do. They want to write pro -encormless, they want to ask you for advice. Do you think I should do this or should I do that? Both of these are good. Why are you asking other people? They don't know. They're not living your life. They don't have the whole destiny. They have their own thing. Like why are you asking them? And if you got quiet for a second and heard your intuition, but then again, sometimes people are scared, right, because it's telling you do something that you probably don't want to do. You're a little scared of it.

8:33And then you're going to choose the wrong thing. It's hard to hear your intuition when George is very loudly telling you. Yes. George being your father. Yes. And everyone can relate. There's always an external voice, which is very loud, whether it's social expectation or Instagram or George. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Saying this is the right thing to do. So how do you tune into your intuition and out of George? It's like any muscle. You know, it's like, look, we all have biceps, but some people's biceps are enormous. Thank you.

9:08That was good. That was super smooth. That was really nice. Nice, we got. But it is like any muscle. You know, you've got to work it. You've got to listen to it. You have to make it brave to talk to you. You know, I kind of feel like it's like that friend. Now, this is not about multiple personalities, but you know, it's like that friend who's talking to you inside your head. You know, and like, if you keep dissing it and keep being like, shut up. No, that's a bad idea. If you keep doing that, that voice can't get quieter and quieter. What makes you think is gonna ever be like, listen, Bose, I told you, no.

9:52Look, my intuition is so loud. Oh, there's no way. Oh, I meet people and will be like, that person's not for me. And no. By the way, somebody also be like, oh, that is a very powerful person. You know, they'll introduce you to this other person or, oh, they're so smart, they've done this and that and that and that. Not for me. So I'm not even going to engage. Like, my intuition is that strong. I trust it. 100%. Because you've had to train it, right? Yes, yes. I've had to allow it to lead me. It's not because of what you said earlier about the survival and that pattern recognition is developed now where you can kind of, you see a couple of cues your intuition goes, oh, we met this person a couple of times.

10:39Yes, yes, yes. Yes, that's part of it. For sure. Like, throughout my life, I've had to listen to my intuition, allow it to lead me, even when other people were like, no, whether it was my dad or a friend or a mentor, a boss. You know, when they've been like, mm -hmm, no. That's not the thing you want to do. You should do this. This will be more successful for you. And then my intuition was like, actually, I don't think so. I think you need to go this way. It is so hard. I'm not pretending as if like, this is the easy thing where just listen to your intuition, be fine. Thing is dumb hard. You know what's like, look, because sometimes a logic makes a lot more sense than your intuition.

11:26And so I'm not saying that it's easy, but it is the only choice. If you want to be successful. And successful, to me, these days, means that I am happy and at peace and enjoying the thing I'm doing. It's no longer about the title or the house or the thing. Like, do I have freedom? Oh, man. Like, and freedom isn't just like, I can do whatever the hell I want. Freedom is that like, I can be working on a campaign and not sleep for three days because I'm so excited about it. That's the kind of freedom I'm talking about. Like, really enjoying the things that I'm doing. And if I am listening to my intuition, it's going to lead me to those opportunities that allow me to have that kind of experience with people or with jobs or whoever.

12:13It's such an important question that I don't think people ask themselves there, which is what is your definition of success? And I know it's kind of like a fluffy question or whatever else, but once you have that as your north star, it completely changes your direction of travel. So like that central question, I think everyone listening to this now, like, what is your truly your definition of success? Because if you're not clear on it, someone else is going to write that definition for you. And it might be George, you know what I mean? Yes, or anybody else. That was someone else. Your Instagram might write for you.

12:41Or your partner. And you're going to go down that path and find yourself lost. Oh my God. And it will just be a feeling inside your chest that says, we made a wrong timing. Every time. You know, sometimes that shows up in the Sunday Scaries. Oh my God, yeah. It shows up there. We have a conversation about this yesterday. Obviously it was on Sunday. We're like, isn't it strange that it's Monday tomorrow? None of us have crossed any of our minds. Exactly. Or freaked out about it. God, it's like, man, when I started recognizing that Sunday Scaries were tied to my wrong turns.

13:17Guess who jumped into the driver's seat real quick? Me. You know what I look. And again, we're not saying, we're not making light of a meal. Like, oh, this is so easy. Just change direction. Yeah. But it's so helpful when you recognize it. And then you're like, oh, OK. Now I can do something about this. You know what I write? Isn't that the first step of like any problem solving? Is it to recognize the problem? Did anything like, like Sunday Scaries is a signal. Oh, man. Tell me. And it's a signal. And it's a very important signal. And it's screaming at you. So loud, so loud. And the thing is that, think about Sunday Scaries in relationship to anything in your life.

13:59When you are in a relationship, let's say romantic. And you have to go hang out with that person. And you're not feeling so cute about it. Might be time for you to reevaluate whether or not this relationship is good for you. You know, it's like, you should be feeling the like, oh, I really want to go do this thing with this person. You know? And for me, it's not even about length of time because marriage is not something where it's like, people tell you all the time it's so hard. And it's like, you know, you'll fall out of love with this person and then fall back in love with them. And it's like, I'm not talking about like the fickleness of your everyday feelings.

14:40I'm talking about like the consistency of a mood that you are in when you are in the presence of that person. Like, do you feel great? Do you have icky -ness when you're with them? Like that. Ooh, ooh, that's a Sunday scary that you need to watch out for. So it's not just about like, am I going to wake up and go to work tomorrow at a job I hate? I apply that to everything in my life. And that's the kind of freedom that I want in my life that like, I don't engage with people that I feel the icky -ness with.

15:19Q1 is often when businesses start implementing new systems and processes in hopes of creating efficiencies for the year ahead. And over the course of my career, I've learnt just how crucial having the right systems in places, one which has helped me across many of my investments is NetSuite. They're also a sponsor of this podcast. NetSuite is the number one cloud financial system through their streamlined platform. You'll find all of your accounting financial management inventory and HR in one place. Their technology has been a real game changer, especially for my team at Flight Studio. As over the last year, we've moved out of startup mode and into scale at mode.

15:54We no longer have to juggle multiple systems and having everything together has reduced the number of manual tasks and errors. Over 41 ,000 businesses have chosen to future -proof their business with NetSuite. So if you'd like to learn how it can help your business, head to netsuite .com slash Bartlett and free download the CFO's guide to AI and machine learning. That's netsuite .com slash Bartlett. Q1 is often when businesses start implementing new systems and processes in hopes of creating efficiencies for the year ahead. And over the course of my career, I've learnt just how crucial having the right systems in places, one which has helped me across many of my investments is NetSuite.

16:32They're also a sponsor of this podcast. NetSuite is the number one cloud financial system through their streamlined platform. You'll find all of your accounting financial management and inventory and HR in one place. Their technology has been a real game changer, especially for my team at Flight Studio. As over the last year, we've moved out of startup mode and into scale at mode. We no longer have to juggle multiple systems and having everything together has reduced the number of manual tasks and errors. Over 41 ,000 businesses have chosen to future -proof their business with NetSuite. So if you'd like to learn how it can help your business, head to netsuite .com slash Bartlett and free download the CFO's guide to AI and machine learning.

17:11That's netsuite .com slash Bartlett.