Rebel Wilson: I Experimented With Ozempic! Childhood Trauma Was The Reason I Couldn't Lose Weight & ALL The Truth About Sacha Baron Cohen!

27:47Like we don't have any professional entertainers in the family. Like, you know, nobody I know was in the business or whatever. At that point it was more to help myself confidence and self -esteem through the creative arts. And weirdly, it really did because when your shy, like I was, to play different characters, it's like an escape because it's not really me. It's a different character. And then you can perform as that person. And then eventually some of that confidence starts coming to you, the real you, from doing that. But obviously at the time nobody thought I would become a professional actress or they would have laughed about that scenario.

28:33It's interesting because you can see these different drives forming within you. You've got this drive for, I don't know, you might say for validation externally, but then because you come from a family that didn't have money, there's also where you were rewarded for academic success or being successful at something. There's also this drive to be successful, which shows up in early in your story when you start selling things and buying things. And then you do exceptionally well in school. You go off to board boarding school. It's what are 16 years old. I think in part it sounds like to escape from the childhood, the household dynamics of your father and your mother.

29:08Yeah. You do exceptionally well there as well, exceptionally well. And then you end up in Africa, self -Africa. Yeah, I know. Which is like a random. So you know, a lot of people do the gap here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I mean, it's random, but basically I was a witness in a major crime squad investigation. When I was in my final year of school, I'd witnessed something and had to testify. And then through that, some people were very impressed with my ability to go and do that in a case. And so I was like, and they told me about this program that was a rotary program. And it was called a youth ambassador program.

29:52And basically they wanted young people who were very good at public speaking. And by this point, I'd done, I'd forced myself to do debating in public speaking and I'd to get over my shyness. And so I was quite a good speaker. And I got recommended into this program and got selected. And you don't get to choose what country you go to. They just select for you. So and they sent one boy and one girl from our district over to different countries. And I got given South Africa. And I was like, cool, cool, because I thought it was going to be like the Lion King first, which was one of my favorite movies.

30:30And then I go rock up to South Africa a few years post apartheid. And it was so different to Australia. Like Australia is very safe. Johannesburg had the highest rape and murder rate in the world at that time. And there were guns everywhere and barbed wire fences and you know, attack dogs. And it was like, it was so eye -opening, but then to also be constantly aware of the violence. And like I had to carry a little, like a wooden baton. Like what you see, like an old policeman in a cartoon would, would carry. Because I let you, if somebody attacked me, I'd have to hit them on the head with it.

31:12And it was like, I was like, this is crazy. Like there was, there was so much going on that year. And, but that's how I got the malaria, which forced me to have this vision that I was to become an actress. And I think if I'd never ever gone to Africa, I never would have had that life -changing vision. And I probably just would have gone back to law school and been a lawyer in Australia. Me and you both share that in common. We both were in Africa and got bitten by a miscutor. Did you have a vision? I had a vision. What was your vision? So my dad was holding, so we're in our house and they didn't know that I had malaria.

31:53This is what my dad and my mom tell me. I was very young. They were holding me here. And I was, I'd woken up in the night because I said there was a man by my bed. So they'd picked me up, I think, like, oh my god, there's this man in his bedroom. And when my dad was holding me like this, so I can see over his shoulder, the man would be behind him. And I was freaking out that there's a man behind him, which I was later would call the shadow man and wrote a little novel about when I was about 14. And this shadow man, because I was losing my mind, they took me to hospital. And at hospital, they found out that I had malaria.

32:23But in hindsight, they told the story that that man saved my life. You know what I mean? So I grew up very, I grew up with this idea that I had a guardian angel. Ah, the shadow man. But it was just malaria and hallucinations. Yeah, well, like, I guess I had a nasty strain of malaria and it was put in hospital. And you know, malaria is so different. I don't know whether you remember, because of the held, but it felt like, it felt like I was not in my body and they take me into hospital and give me these drugs. And then I just started hallucinating. And I hallucinated that I was an actress, and I was so good that I win an Academy Award.

33:01And I must have, I mean, I'd seen the Oscars on TV, I'd obviously never been. And then I just walked down the aisle. And it was so real like I could see all the people, the dresses, and I get up on stage. And then I give an acceptance rap rather than an acceptance speech, because I thought, oh yeah, that's hardcore. And at one point I had wanted to be a rapper because of their coolness and swagger. It didn't work out for me. Luckily, but my little rap group with my sister, yeah, didn't work out. And it was so vivid and real like I could, like I can still remember it. And then I came out of hospital, I was in hospital for two weeks, I came out.

33:43And I was like, I think I've got to become an actress now. I had this vision. And people go, ah, no. Like the malaria has affected your brain. They're just like, they thought I was nuts. Like they thought I was crazy. And they go, no, I've seen it. And they're like, no, no, no, no. Like you've got into the best law school in Australia. Like maybe go to law school and have a great career. And I like, nah, I've seen it. And I think I need to be an actress now. And then I left South Africa a month earlier. I was supposed to be there for 12 months. I left a month earlier to audition for a drama school in Australia, which I did got rejected.

34:21Because obviously I was terrible. And nobody looked at me and go actress. Nobody. So, yeah. And it still took, I think from that vision five years until I really got it, you could make money from acting. But it was like the vision came to me. And I watched a lot of Oprah. And Oprah was like, well, the universe will tell you, like, first sort of come in little whispers. And then it'll be like bricks falling on you. And I was like, but see, I've had the vision. I have to do acting now. In hindsight. Yeah. Was that a malaria hallucination? Or was it divine intervention? I don't know. I think was that some subconscious desire that I was never brave enough to say to anybody?

35:15Because I was in the high school musicals and plays, you know, in the musical. I was like, never cast as the lead or whatever. But I really enjoyed it. I like, I really did enjoy it. And so, but I just never thought someone like me could have a career in that area. So I was like, was that just a subconscious desire that just decided to come out when I was deathly ill? Or was it some kind of, I don't know, some higher power or something showing me that this was more my purpose? Because I remember a lot thinking that time, like, what is my purpose? Like, what am I supposed to be doing in the world?

35:52And I'd ride in my little diary, you know, that like, but again, I watched a lot of Oprah. So I was like, you know, once my purpose, how can I give back to people? There's motivational tapes as well. Yeah, probably. So you go back to Australia, you pursue law, I guess, for the money. You just thought that was a good... Well, of course my father had dropped out. Okay. I definitely wanted to have a college degree. And he always said that was his biggest regret that he never got his business degree. And because I got, I was so hard to get into this law school, I almost had to be neat, perfect in all your exams.

36:26So I just thought, I may as well just do it as well. Will you ever try to impress either one of them more than the other? Well, my mom just wanted her dream for me was to be normal, I guess. Like, you know, to have friends, to kind of have a relationship and be kind of normal. So it's not like she definitely didn't want me to be some kind of known public person. Sometimes the old disabling, you're the oldest to four right, is a bit of a reflection of more so of a reflection, I think, of what the parents wanted for themselves. I tend to think that sort of a... So I'm wondering if you were like desire for success and validation.

37:02If it was something that you felt from your father, like, you know, him, he couldn't be that himself, so maybe he reflected more praise on you when you were objectively successful in the things that you did. Why would you want to be a lawyer? Yeah, I just, because if you were smart, you'd go into law or medicine. And so, you know, and they would have loved to have gone around and said, you know, oh, my daughter's a lawyer at this firm. And that would have been a great, you know, great career that they would have thought. My parents had to work really hard to send me to the school that I did, like, at one point, apart from selling all the dog products.

37:39My dad was also working at the gas station overnight. And, you know, just to afford my school uniforms and stuff like that. So, so for them, a successful outcome would have been, okay, she got into the top law school. And now she's going to be a lawyer. And therefore, all that money spent on education was worth it. And you go back, you do end up qualifying as a lawyer. Yeah. You become a lawyer. It did take me 10 years, though. It's normally a five year double degree. And I did arts as well. Why did it take so long? Because you're acting. So basically, yeah. So I would, I'd be in theater shows at first.

38:13And then it would be TV shows. And my law school had an 80 % attendance rule. So basically, if I started in a semester, and then for some reason, my filming schedule or whatever, I'd have to repeat the subject. Because if I didn't attend in person, 80 % of the time. So it was exhausting. Often I would fly, have to fly into state. I'd be filming in another state. I have to get up at 4am in the morning and cut flight to Sydney to law school. And then fly all the way back that night. From the first time you did whatever you classes like an acting gig, or tried to be an actress, to the moment when you feel like you had made it.

38:54How many years is that? So I started quite late. I guess I started like 18 turning 19, which is quite late. I think a lot of people start. Kids. Yeah, 12, 13, I guess. And then that was like proper acting classes, like proper, like with people wanting to do it as a career. And then I had, I wrote my first play at 21. I just wrote it in two nights. And then at one this playwright in competition and got put on. And I was like, holy crap. And then a television station gave me $90 ,000 to put it on professionally. Which was like kind of insane, great luck for the first thing I'd ever written. And I realized from that point, nobody saw me as an actor.

39:40I wasn't like Nicole Kidman or that, you know, in that vein. So I realized pretty quick, I had to write myself my own material if I was going to make it. But I didn't start earning a professional like a full -time wage until I was a regular on a TV show at 23. At what point in this journey towards being an actress, do you realize that your weight is influencing how people see you and the way that they're casting you? So when I was like about 21 into like 22, I had something called PCOS, polycystic, a variance syndrome. And one of the key signifiers of that was like rapid weight gain. So all of a sudden, I mean, when I first started acting, I was just a regular size, a bit athletic looking, but you know, pretty regular.

40:36And then all of a sudden, I gained 30 kilos and was like, I had some other symptoms as well. I had like some dark hair on my arms and there's a couple of key signifiers to it. And then I went to the doctors and they said, oh, yeah, you've got PCOS. And in that first play that I'd written when I was 21, I'd cast a girl who was bigger, you know, quite a large girl. And then I noticed on stage like, she'd get way more laughs than me. And I kind of wrote all the roles quite evenly. And I was like, why is that girl getting more laughs? And I honestly thought, I mean, well, one, she's hilarious, but it's because she's bigger.

41:15And people like laughing at bigger people. And then I did this subject at university called comedy and power. And basically, you know, there is a science to, if you want to sleep with somebody, you're not normally wanting to laugh at them. So, you know, if you want to sleep with someone, you're into them, attracted to them. But normally the people that you want to laugh at are people that have some kind of immediate physical irregularity. Like, you know, bigger women do do well in comedy. You might be really tall, really short, you might have a really big nose, something about you that's quite distinctive.

41:57That people can instantly go, ah, you know, and they, in more in comedy, the science of it is more people want to be your friend rather than they don't want to be your lover. They want to be your friend. And they think, you know, you'd be good to hang out with and have a laugh with. And so it was really interesting when I gained all this weight, I was like, ah, I think I'm going to lean into comedy because, even though I tried to be a serious actress at first, I was like, hang on, this which could be seen as a huge negative. A lot of people would be going, oh no, you know, put on all this weight.

42:33Instead, I went the opposite way. And I was like, no, I can use this to my advantage. I like comedy. I think I should go into comedy and use being bigger as just a good tool in my comedy toolbox. And then that was kind of reinforced, I guess, because then people laugh harder and then they pay you more. Yeah, and it is true. It is true. People like laughed, laughed more and I lent into comedy. And then I got a scholarship from Nicole Kidman to go to New York and I went to a second -city comedy school in New York at the time. And yeah, and then I just realized I had quite a good knack for it. And that was taking off more than the dramatic acting.

43:17How did you feel about yourself at that time? Well, I guess I was quite shocked in my diaries when I looked back at them for research for the book. Even when I was 16 and I wasn't big at all, I was very athletic, played lots of different sports. And my first goal was to lose two kilos. I guess because my mum had made a comment at some point, not for any bad reasons. She just thought she had weight issues herself and just thought, you know, if I lost those two kilos, I might feel better in myself or something like that. And so I just, when I gained all that weight, there's kind of a dichotomy because at one point I'm like, this could help me professionally in comedy.

44:05And big girls do better in comedy. I can see a pigeonhole for myself in that area and you can be successful. And I just gotten on a television show and I was 23 playing kind of the, I guess, the whale character, sometimes referred to me as an... The reference was the whale character. Well, like I was the obese girlfriend of one of the guys who he was embarrassed to go out with me. So the whole joke was like, he was trying to hide me because he didn't want people to know I was in a relationship because I was obese. And that was the whole, it was a very popular show in Australia. It's called Fat Pizza.

44:45And so on the one hand, there's that. But then on the other hand, I felt like I knew I was eating very badly. My to hire at that point was just carbs pretty much. I remember coming to New York and going to comedy school and just eating a pint of ice cream for dinner or a whole big bag of chips or something. And then, and so on the one hand, I could be confident and know that this could be good for me, career wise. But on the other hand, I knew I'm not treating myself right. This is not good. I'm not being healthy. And so I had both going on in my mind at the same time. How do you play a role in a movie that Fat Pizza movie where you're basically a...

45:39Someone's something somebody that somebody else is embarrassed about. And how does that not impact your self -esteem at some level? Because I'm thinking if I was playing in a movie, someone, an individual that someone was trying to hide. The thing is like, because when it's acting, it's not quite you. And only on a rare occasion would people confuse like, because obviously the guys on the show are pretty great and respectful of camera and everything. That was just the character I was playing. And I was lucky to be on a comedy show and to be earning money that way. But then I remember going to a post office and just like mailing a letter.

46:19And the guy was obviously a fan of the show. And so I was saying, oh, that was my character now. He's so fat. And like, here in real life was saying stuff like the guys on the show. But this is now real life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was very hurtful in real life. Whereas for acting, it's, you know, you kind of can separate it a little bit. Did you see Tim that day that post office? I didn't say anything. I just kind of walked out and thought, oh, that guy's an idiot. He doesn't understand the distinction between a comedy show and, you know, a real person. And so that was just a bit hurtful. But I guess it must.

47:00But then on the other hand, it's hard to feel sorry for myself because then obviously not in Australia. But then when I came to America and played like Fat Amy, which is probably my most famous character, I mean, now I'm making millions of dollars from playing the fat funny girl and really leaning into that. And so. And what do you care about more than millions of dollars or the, you know, I mean, and now I care about my health and wellbeing. But back then, I guess I thought, well, I'm becoming successful. And this is helping me become successful. I think this is really at the heart of what your book takes on is the idea that, you know, we can become quote -unquote successful in the eyes of the world.

47:51But that doesn't necessarily mean we're successful holistically in all the things that we need to be successful. And I relate to that so much because of the things we've described about being driven and dragged and all that stuff. I think I became successful in one of maybe the 10 things that I needed to be to be like rounded as a person. Yeah. And anomalies like you that achieve such great success. Often there's a trade -off. Yeah. So I felt like I needed like Olympic athlete dedication to make it in the end -time business. I mean, the odds of making it are so small, one to make it in my home country and then to come to Hollywood and to make it.

48:30The odds are millions to one, really, of having their career that I've had. So you know, like an Olympic gymnast, if you meet people and they're like incredible gymnastics. But then you talk to them about their personal life or their skills. And then basically you can tell they're like stunted. I guess it's the right word. So they've had this drive and this focus and they've achieved. And they've, if they're an athlete, you know, they get to the Olympics or to me like I've been in an Oscar nominated movie. I haven't won, obviously. The vision hasn't come true. But was I stunted? I was like, if you really knew me, you'd know that yeah, I hadn't been out on a date until my early 30s.

49:23I hadn't had that intimate experiences and relationships. And so all that area of my life, like wasn't great. But I was like the most successful person to ever come out of my high school. Or you know, so like there were great things. I could go to court side at the LA Leakers games or you know, like there were awesome stuff. But then there was like, yeah, on a personal side, I wasn't the best person. And then I knew that. I knew, oh God. Okay. So I've excelled in one area. But now there's others that I'm like quite lacking in. And the other area was apart from love life and kind of social life was also health.

50:11You, you miss America. You get, you work very hard for the next couple of years. You get this, you know, this opportunity in Bridesmaid, which then takes some time for it to come out. I heard in your book that you got paid $3 ,500 for your role in Bridesmaid. Yeah. So yeah, that was my first job in America. And I mean, it was very lucky to get it. I mean, what an awesome cracker of a movie to get that. But to be paid that little and basically that $3 ,500, I then had to pay to the union to join the union. So basically, I made no money. I lost money because I had to pay to go to the premiere, like to buy my dress and everything.

50:51So I lost money doing Bridesmaids. But, and then you have to wait and normally takes a whole year when you film a movie for the movie to be released. So that was a really skint year where I was living on $60 a week in LA once I paid my rent and my car hire. And that's not a lot of money. So like I wasn't partying or living this life. It was basically just having that focus trying to write for myself, like going to auditions. And I had to wait a whole year till Bridesmaid came out. And then suddenly it comes out as this big hit. And I booked six movies off the back of it, one of which was pitch perfect, which was kind of my real golden ticket.

51:32That movie. It became the highest grossing musical comedy franchise of all time. Yes. And there was very, very, very successful. And very, very awesome fun movies to be a part of. So they're like, they're like such a gift to those movies. Your life changes at that point. Because you're sort of globally internationally famous now. And surely that means job done. We can chill. We can go look at other things. And I say this because of simply people me being probably one of them. That maybe told ourselves in the past that once we hit the pitch perfect, the global smash hit success, then we'll chill.

52:08Then you'll be happy. And then it'll be fine. And then of course, then you come up with some different goals that I'm like, it's even. Q1 is often when businesses start implementing new systems and processes in hopes of creating efficiencies for the year ahead. And over the course of my career, I've learnt just how crucial having the right systems in places, one which has helped me across many of my investments is net suite. They're also a sponsor of this podcast. Net suite is the number one cloud financial system through their streamlined platform. You'll find all of your accounting financial management inventory and HR in one place.

52:43Their technology has been a real game changer, especially for my team at Flight Studio. As over the last year, we've moved out of startup mode and into scale at mode. We no longer have to juggle multiple systems and having everything together has reduced the number of manual tasks and errors. Over 41 ,000 businesses have chosen to future proof their business with net suite. So if you'd like to learn how it can help your business, head to netsweep .com slash Bartlett and free download the CFO's guide to AI and machine learning. That's netsweep .com slash Bartlett. Hara. A real pivotal moment and turning point in your life is clearly when you went to that doctor that day after deciding that you wanted to have a child.

53:25Why did you decide you wanted to have a child? Was there an influence something you'd seen or something? I guess I never thought because I was so career driven. I never thought I would want to have a family and also being in my business. It was so egocentric the business. And so I just didn't think that was in the cards for me. And I also thought, well, I'm probably never going to find a partner or whatever. And then I was just like this biological clock inside me when in my late 30s. Just started ticking really loudly and I kind of say it's like in Peter Pan, that crocodile that has the clock inside it.

54:02It was just like, you could hear it going. I was like, do it now it'll, otherwise it'll be too late. And I would see babies on the street with their mums and be like, oh, and I just like keep staring at all the babies. And just like, like I just really felt this urge inside me to be a mother and even though I didn't have a partner at that point and I just was like, I think I should try. And but I was getting, I was like 39 years old and I didn't even know that I had eggs or what could be done. And then I went to the fertility doctor. And by this point, like I'm living this really large life, you know, I am medically obese, but I'm living this kind of amazing life I traveled the world.

54:52I learned how to have fun and not be so much of a workaholic. And I was like, you know, like that Liseau song, like it's bad bitch. A clock like that was like my life, like I'm walking around. It was loving it. I've been successful now. And then the doctor looks me up and down and goes, yeah, but you're not healthy. And he said you have a much better chance of having a baby if you were healthy. And the way he said it with like kind of quite a lot of disdain in his voice, I was like, huh, because that's, that was a stranger. Most people, you know, in Hollywood, they're not going to come up to you and go, oh, you're engaging in bad, you know, eating habits, obviously.

55:36Like they're just like, oh, congratulations on your new movie. And yeah, it's great. Play Fat Amy and that's awesome. And I've been. I don't think so. He wasn't in my demographic. He looked a bit like the doctor from doc from back to the future. Okay. Older guy with white, wary here. So yeah, I don't think he was in the picture perfect fan base. And he just, he just said it straight to my face. And then I go, oh, I'm not healthy because and I knew deep down. I just suppressed those feelings, but I knew deep down. I wasn't healthy, but I didn't have any serious diseases. I was doing incredible things all around the world.

56:21So I just didn't. And then he said that and I look at really sunk in. That was like this criticism that was, I couldn't ignore. And I was like, oh, God, okay, yeah, he is right. And I'm not healthy because on the one hand, I'm like a beacon of body positivity and that because I really do think beauty is at any size and and had and had had grown, you know, so much self confidence by that point. But then on the other hand, I knew I was engaging in unhealthy eating behaviors. And that was something I wanted to improve in myself. And then I thought, well, the next year, 2020, I'll make the whole year about getting healthy.

57:05Like I said, I'm not going to work. We hardly, I couldn't have predicted that a pandemic was going to happen. I'd already planned not to work that year and just take a whole year to do health stuff. You get back in the car after that doctor visit and you describe kind of your, what's going on in your brain. But you've, as you said, you know, at that point, you know, you might healthy deep down, deep down. Yeah. Everyone kind of knows, you know, you know, you know, if you, if you're medically obese, you kind of know that, yeah, but it's hard to get from there to taking any action. It's really hard to change behavior in such a way.

57:42Yes, especially because I, yes, had I tried to go on diets before, had I gone on diets, had I gone to like a little health farm and, you know, lost five, seven pounds in a week and, and then you never sustain it and then it goes back up. So I'd like, it's not like I'd never tried. I just never thought because always the weight would come back on and that was just my homeostasis or whatever for my body was like at 102 kilos. And that's kind of just how it was. And I was like, oh, well, I could never permanently change that. I just thought, no, I can get two degrees from university and become an international maybe star, but I just can't like with the weight.

58:26I was like, I can't like just, you know, I don't know. I'm just not right in that area. I'll never, I'll never be healthy in that way. And that one comment from that stranger. Yeah, it was something in the way he said it. I was like, shh, look, I'm not, I'm not healthy. Like, and that must be what a lot of people thought they just never said it to my face. And then it was kind of the motivation, almost not really for myself and my health, but for a future child that I thought, well, now I've got to fix this and work really hard to do it because if I tried so many times, I'd try and I'd try 20 times or whatever in the past.

59:15But it always only lasted a short term. And then I was like, well, okay, but this is different because now the motivations to have a child. So that's like a different motivating factor. You want to have a child. This doctor says you'll have a better chance if you're healthy. You leave there that day. You must also have it in the back of your mind that people are paying you millions and millions of millions of dollars. I think around that time that year, you made like 20 million dollars in movies or whatever. They're paying you because you fit this persona that they want. Yeah. So as soon as I started telling people in my team about this, they're like, oh, no, no, no, why would you want to lose weight?

59:53And like that, no, I wouldn't, if I was you, I wouldn't do that because then you lose your multi -million dollar pigeonhole that you've so successfully created and look at all the work you've done to get that. And now you're just going to throw it away. So I was then literally like, okay, what do I do with my life? Am I get healthy? But I lose my career. Or do I just stay the way I am and maybe never have a child? And like that was literally kind of how it was positioned to me. And so even though literally everyone around me pretty much said, stay as you are, I just felt like nah, I got it. I think I know deep down that I'm engaging in unhealthy behaviors and I'm going to, I'm going to work on my health and try to have a child.

1:00:44Thinking at that point, I know it sounds implicit, but thinking that my career could be over then. But I was like, nah, that's too important. Going on that journey, losing the weight and all those kinds of things, there's never a straight line. Yeah, now it was, I mean, the pandemic helped a lot because literally everything stopped. And I could just focus, focus on being healthy. I was about became a big blessing to me. And when I really focused and did the emotional work, because there's things like that I write about in the book that I just never thought about until I started emotionally processing things.

1:01:28Did one of your contracts say I think it was pitch perfect, say that you couldn't lose 10 pounds of weight contractually? Yeah, so that's like quite common. You can't drastically change your appearance. So that's pretty much in all acting contracts. It's not just about weight, it's about your hair, you know, what you look like. And you can't go too much either side. That's basically because sometimes in films you have to do reshoots or sometimes, you know, they might want to do a sequel or something. And so you kind of have to stay the same. So literally like, I have to ask somebody if I'd want to cut my hair.

1:02:04Right now to a different color or style or whatever. It's just it's just a thing in the business because you could be asked to do a reshoot on a film a year later. You have to kind of look the same. So this journey of losing weight, tell me about this process. What helped you? So I was like, as you can probably tell, I got quite goal -oriented. And so I was like, okay, 2020 is going to be my year of health. I'm themed it. I'm going to put it on Instagram so I'm like, held responsible. You know, the other times it would be a bit more private. I'm like, okay, I'm going to go to this health farm or whatever.

1:02:40And I'm like, okay, it's going to be my year of health. And I'm just going to focus on being healthy. And the thing Anne Hathaway introduced me to this doctor who was great. Because I guess she saw me on a film we didn't together called the hustle. And she kind of saw me struggling. And his specialty was kind of 12ing into emotional emotions and how they can affect your physical health. And I never even thought about that. Like I just thought, you know, going on a diet is about eating less and exercising more. I just never thought, but to me, because I was an emotional eater, really the kicker was to process emotions and to learn how to process emotions.

1:03:23And obviously from my family environment, I had definitely not learned any skills in that area. And was kind of holding on to everything. Like a bag of groceries of this little trauma and this. And they are holding on to it. And so I had to start processing that with the doctor. Like we did a phone call every two weeks. And at first it's awful. Like, oh my god, what do I talk about? You know, talk about my personal things. And it felt awful to do it at first. And then I did it and then gradually it kind of started processing things. And then I could release them the emotions. And then the weight loss kind of came.

1:04:12But because I wasn't working, I did do crazy workouts. Like I was working out like two hours, two and a half hours a day. To help, you know, to help accelerate it. I was cooking my own meals. I was, you know, concentrating on eating protein meals. And like I was just doing all the right things because I didn't have any stress of work. And I was just like, okay, this is going to be it. But the real thing was the emotional. What are those banks that you let go of emotionally? I think a lot of it, like I don't think I would have been able to write this book if I hadn't have done that emotional work with the doctor because there were just stuff that I suppressed, you know, a lot of stuff about my father and my complicated relationship with him and the sadness of him dying.

1:05:03He suddenly had a heart attack and died, right? You know, close after, pitch perfect one came out. And I think just all these little things in my childhood, that, you know, I just, I guess I never thought that that was associated with my weight, but it obviously was. And because I hadn't processed the things, it was like I was holding onto barriers. It was like the weight was a barrier, one for like intimacy, for example. You know, I never wanted a relationship or wanted to be attractive or whatever. And the weight was kind of a barrier because that kept all the people away. Do you believe that?

1:05:47I've heard that from psychologists a few times, even on this podcast before I've heard one particular guy called Johan Haare who wrote a book called Lost Connections, told me that in a study where they looked at women who were clinically obese and then they put them through a weight loss program, they found that some of the women would then regain weight and the catalyst for that was them being hit on. They'd discovered in those women that there was early sort of abuse or there was issues so they made this link that sometimes we use weight as a defense from sort of sexual advances or. And I definitely was because I wanted to be in the fat, funny, friend role, which I played quite well in real life and on screen because I didn't, you know, I didn't want somebody to be coming home with me and then seeing how I'd really lived or felt, you know, I don't know.

1:06:36I guess I just was embarrassed or do you remember? They're not women hitting on you at any point in your 20s and then actively rejecting them or So I literally was like, for some people like, if it didn't anybody come up to you or whatever, I was like, no, like I honestly don't remember one person. Apart from the little boyfriend I had when I was 16, which was the most innocent thing ever where we just held hands and maybe kissed once. But anyways, when I got famous from Pige Perfect, there was like a waiter at Chateau Marmont that like gave me his number and like, you know, basically said, you know, take me home with you tonight.

1:07:19Kind of thing. And I was shocked and I was there with my buddy Matt Lucas and I was like, what do I do with this? Like it was kind of like the first attention. So only when I started like noticing any attention was when I became very successful. So that did, I almost felt like I was an invisible attractiveness wise until that point. Did you text the waiter? No, I didn't. But Matt goes, you should have, what are you doing? Go, go for it. And I go, Matt, no, like, oh, I was so shy in that area. I was like, I'm not just going to bring a waiter home from the Chateau Marmont. We do get a lot of people from prison as well when I became famous.

1:08:01They'd like DM you and like, go, be my wife and all this stuff. I'm like, oh my god. Like, but no, like, I just, unless I was just so blocked off to that, I didn't notice anything. You know, but I wouldn't want a woman in particular. I get so over 30. What I've heard, especially considering some of my friends who are women over 30, is people around them some time start getting a bit pushy. Like their friends start, you know, come on, rebel, come on. I'll go for it. I'll give them a chance. Yeah. Did you feel that sort of external pressure at all from people? If my father would always say, oh, on the limited times we talk, oh, are you seeing anybody?

1:08:40I'd always get so angry at that question. I'd like, why is he asking me that? Is if I'd want to get married like him and my mum were and how terrible that was and I'd always just get angry at it and just be like, no, and just like, I don't know, just shut down about that issue. Is it because it came from him? He was. Yeah, in particular. And I was like, oh, God, like, out of all the people to say something, most people didn't say anything. But I know that is that pressure like for single women over 30, you just get like a little bit. But I felt it more in my later 30s. And I went on a dating app at one point to try to meet people.

1:09:28How did that go? Because I was like, well, I actually met some good people. Yeah, it was a dating app. Raya has some celebrities on it. You want me on it? I tried when I was 18. I didn't have anything going on in my life, but I tried. And the problem is, you want to be great. I think now they're giving me a shot now. But back then, I submitted my application. I was like 19. So they're still looking at the same application and I'm still in the way. I'm in a relationship and I don't need that. Yeah, you don't need them now. It's their loss. But I was, yeah, I went on and I dated a few great guys and actually had fun.

1:10:04And it was good, but I had to because I was so behind the April on dating and love and relationships, like I had to almost like in my year of health, I had to do like a year of love experiment before I did that before year of health to like kind of put myself out there, which was hard and challenging. Like, it's all going on dates and you got to get all dressed up and, you know, and then go and have it lunch or dinner with someone that you might not know whether there's any chemistry and and you were a virgin after 35. Yes. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. So going on these dates, is there is there anxiety in your brain because you know, if this day goes well, there might be an expectation that I go to the bedroom with this individual.

1:10:46Yeah. Well, that was all later. I mean, weirdly, the the guy I lost my virginity to at 35, I was I was set up with and and I think, part of why I think I might have been attractive was because I was in like a number one movie at the time and whatever and that guy was like an awesome guy and I'd met him and I'd waited so long at that point. I really wanted to leave my virginity to someone who I was really, really into and I and I just I really liked this guy. I thought he was so funny and cute and and potentially like marriage material at the time I met him and so and so when I did my year of love experiment, that was like a few years later.

1:11:28So obviously, I mean, I don't think I could have done it if I was still a virgin going on all these dates because at least I had some experience by that point, but I dated like 50 people in the one year in 2019 to just get some, I don't know like to find it like because I just was behind the April, I'd never dated properly. So I needed to get some experience in that area and and legitimately trying to find the one, but yeah, it didn't do any quite work out. You mentioned that you experimented with a Zempec. Oh, I did, but I wish I'd known about it in 2020. It wasn't big fan. No, I didn't even if I had known about it, I would have tried it 100%.

1:12:14But more for once I'd lost like 35 kilos, I was like, I can't continue working out and having this level of focus like I can't and I was very worried that the weight would come back on. And then now, I mean, now I have gained back 10 kilos or so because of I guess having a baby, I just can't work out the level that I used to and then I directed a movie which was a lot of sitting on a chair all day long and being stressed, still stress -seating and which I'll get under control when I'm, you know, not working seven days a week. And so I've tried it for a few months for like weight management, I guess you could help.

1:13:01Guess you call it. I definitely noticed that it did, I have like an unlimited ability to eat sweets and chocolate and ice cream and stuff. And that drug helped for me not to feel full, whereas I wouldn't feel like that before I would just could eat a ton of it like, you know. So I actually liked it, but yeah, I know, I think I actually think for people like me, those drugs can be really effective, but obviously I'm not on it right now, but maybe if I, you know, prescribed it by a doctor, I'd go back on it. When you lose weight, your resonance with your audience changes as well, because to, I think, Adele spoke to it as well, and when she lost a lot of weight, she, there was a backlash.

1:13:51Yeah, I mean, I think there was some people going, oh, she won't be funny anymore, but then I had this movie come out, senior year, I played a cheerleader who went into a coma and then wakes up 20 years later. And that was my first big comedy. And it got something like 89 million unique Netflix accounts, watched it in the first 10 days around the world, which was huge, huge, huge numbers. So I was like, oh, well, I think they're probably people are wrong about that. That won't be funny anymore. But did they feel let down? I think some people did. It's like, say if you're in a family and you're sibling makes a change for the better.

1:14:28And then you feel like, oh, well, it makes me feel bad because I didn't make the change. And it makes me feel not as good about myself. So, therefore, I'm going to hate them for for changing how dare they change, how dare they try to rise above. And I think there is some attitude. But then you think to those people, what would make them happy, you go like the John Candy way and you die of a heart attack or something happens to you. Like you get some serious, I mean, my father died of a heart attack with complications with diabetes. So I was like, I was heading towards the diabetes route if I kept going.

1:15:11I was like, what does that make those people happy? Or you just say as you are and be unhealthy and then you die prematurely, that's not a great outcome. Like what do those people want? But I think as a comedian, you have so many different things in your toolkit. And mainly their personality. And so even though it's easy to go, oh, you have that physical irregularity and that's why people love, there are so many other elements. That's not as simplistic as that. And so I just utilize slightly different things. Have you noticed any change in a way that people book you professionally or respond to your professional, the roles you're given based on your?

1:15:50Well, now I do a lot more dramatic stuff. I mean, I'm still obviously doing the comedy stuff. I mean, I've just directed a movie, which is a big huge new career step. But yeah, I've got a movie coming out the arm and in the seahorse here in the UK, which is totally serious. And I just played Lady Capulet in a film, which is totally not what you think I would do. And it's awesome. But it's kind of how I started my career doing Shakespeare and stuff before I was bigger. And so it's kind of coming back now to doing that kind of thing. But more I noticed, I mean, now I'm kind of in the middle because I'm like, I've gained back some weight.

1:16:30It was so weird to be to be someone who walks around the world kind of feeling a bit invisible, attractiveness wise. And then suddenly I lost all this weight and got so much positive validation. Like it was insane. Like people would open doors for you or carry your groceries to the car for you or offer to do something for you or whatever. And I just was so weird to experience that. I've experienced both sides of the coin like to be kind of invisible in that area and then to be visible. And it was bizarre. It was like the attention and I was like, Oh, is this what hot people feel or get all the time?

1:17:09And they get this kind of positive bias in society all the time. And I got such positive reinforcement for losing weight from the press and from people like every single person would make some comment about it. And and it's hard not to fall into liking that. And we know. Now I've just been too stressed, being a director that I've kind of gone off the band, held bandwagon, but you've got I will get back on it. 42 years old, you underwent IVF and you had your daughter. But it appears you're still a workaholic. You just said earlier about working seven days a week. I know. I've come off a nine month marathon seven days a week.

1:17:52I did an action film called Bride Hard directed on my movie The Deb, written the book. And yeah, so I'm about to have a holiday. What are you doing it for? Because you could, you know, you've got multiple houses all over the world. You've got huge success. You've done it, Rebel. I know. And my love life that is a happy story to run. Listen you know, I have an amazing partner, Ramona, who's absolutely incredible partner. And so that story had had a happy ending as well. I just keep saying to people, I'm going to retire now. And then they're like, yeah, you'll have like two days off and then you'll have some idea for a movie and then you'll want to do it.

1:18:36So I think I'm always that little girl who at the dog shows was like reaching into bins to collect the aluminum cans to earn money because I felt like I didn't have anything because I didn't have any money. And so so part of me is always that. I just have this drive to earn money. And that motivates me. And then it's we like I achieve a goal. I like coming to America was just to be in one Hollywood movie. But then you achieve it. And then it's not enough. And then you want, you know, and now like, you know, I'd like to win an Oscar or, you know, have that level of success. You know, winning the Oscars is going to change.

1:19:16This is it. I know probably not. It's really like there's a curse on some women that win the Oscars. Then there's sometimes their love life crumbles and they get no jobs for two years when after they win the Oscar. Sometimes it's like a curse. You didn't see that in the hallucination. What happened? No, I didn't see that. I just saw winning and feeling great about it. I mean, I definitely know I need a break over the summer. And I will have have fun times. And I've learned how to have fun now. Because before like in my 20s, I didn't even do that. Well, I wouldn't even go on a holiday. I'd be like, no, I have to keep working hard.

1:19:48Are you are you concerned? And I'm asking this really for myself because I think I am are you concerned that you're going to look back later in life and go, do you know, I didn't have my priorities in order? Yeah, maybe. And so I think having my gorgeous daughter and looking at her, she makes me want to like not work as much. And I think I didn't know how she was going to affect my life. And then now just knowing how much joy it is just to be around her. And it makes me think less about myself and more about her and my family. And so from that level, I want to not not work as much and I have to be a bit more selective.

1:20:31You one of the things that I found I have to say awesome. I'm just going to be honest with you in your book was well, there's so many things I love the pictures and the whole design of the book and how you weave humor into what I consider to be pretty important lessons of life. But Oh, you're holding up the redacted pages. There's pages that just have black lines do them, which is that you've basically removed those sections. Now you well, I didn't remove them. Okay, the publisher, the UK publisher, because in the UK, the laws are different here around what you can say about instances in your life.

1:21:06Yeah. And being a qualified lawyer, I know, you know, all about defamation laws. And it's a bit, the US is a bit more free speech in terms of defamation laws. And the UK and Australia have higher standards. This chapter is called Sasha Barakonen, other assholes. Now obviously, I'm just going to take your lead on this. But this has been a huge story. And I saw on your Instagram. Yeah, it's weird because the book is about my whole life, you know, and yet this particular chapter has gotten the most attention. I guess because I'm saying something negative about a male comedian, Sasha Barakonen, and in it describing like the worst professional experience of my career, which was 10 years ago now on a movie called Grimsby and working with him.

1:21:59And it was an experience that left me feeling humiliated and degraded as a person. And, and so that chapter, I guess, because he's come out and denied it, it became a big story. What can you say about that experience? I can say why I wrote it. And that purely why it's redacted is because it's the publisher that gets sued. And obviously they wouldn't want to get get sued by somebody who's quite litigious. So that's why they did that. But the story is pretty much out there. So you could easily kind of work out what I'm talking about in the book. But I wanted to write it because my story is not one of you hear stories, terrible stories of a soul and, you know, things in Hollywood.

1:23:00Mine is not that. It's more just kind of a shit situation at work that the 44 year old version of me would have left and would have said, oh, scream, I'm out of here. I'm, you know, got enough self -esteem to leave and know this isn't a good situation for me. And then back then, I stayed in it and I did reshoots on the film because I didn't be seen as unprofessional. And this was before the Me Too movement. And even though I wasn't being treated great, I just, I thought, well, I have to be professional. And I have to stay and finish it. And it was a complicated situation. We were both represented by the same agent at the time.

1:23:51And there are a few things going on. And I guess I wrote it so that people, the more people talk about stuff like this, hopefully the less it happens. And then also just, I think I held shame because I went along with it. And it's such a fine line between combat, what's comedy and what's playing a character. And then really crossing the line into personal humiliation. And I think on that project, it did cross the line. And I felt shame that I actively went along with it. And so I guess writing it is kind of releasing the emotions I was holding onto for that. And I have no motivation. I mean, I write in the chapter.

1:24:42It's not about canceling somebody. It's just about. It kind of goes to show why myself worth wasn't, wasn't where it should have been. And I should have stood up for myself. And that's, that's hard. And now the 44 -year -old version of me would handle things much, much differently. And it's just, it was 10 years ago. And it was hard to know what to do even though I'm a lawyer. And I made the complaints. And did what I could do at the time I now would act very differently. This is your life story. This is your memoir. Of all the experiences you've had, Rebel, when you look back through all of these pages and all of these days and all of these sort of seasons of your life, was there a hardest moment?

1:25:31God. There's been so many hard, hard moment. I think, well, probably the darkest point in my life was when I was about 13. And you know, you hit puberty and you feel all these emotions. And I felt, you know, unlovable, unworthy. My life wasn't going to be anything. And I was just isolated. We were living out in the bush at that point where we had like snakes come crawling on the back porch and bush rats. And like, I was just like, it just was such a dark time. And that was probably the hardest, one of the hardest things. What's next for Rebel? Well, I'm still directing the movie because I've got all the technical elements to do now.

1:26:18So that's a big new challenge. And I've directed this very empowering musical that's very, very joyful and very hilarious. So I'm very proud of that. And then I think, I don't know, I still have because that vision was I won an Oscar and I haven't won one. So I'd like to do that. But then, you know, I would just like to be more of a mum who has spends that quality time with their family and is, yeah, is that kind of a person and not so striving. But I don't know. I always have this thing in me that I'm very driven and working hard and just always had that. But I would like to maybe let go of that.

1:27:02If you were to go back now to that 13 year old Rebel, that was going through all of those sort of challenges in her mind. And you could tell something, say something to her, that would better equip her to the next sort of 20 years to come. Because there's going to be lots of, you know, young women that are struggling with all the things you described and young men. Oh, yeah. And I know what it's like to feel invisible, to be so lonely, isolated, to just not feel like you have anything going. Or you were like, I was just a pretty average. I mean, I was smart. I always had being smart. But I like, this average, no one really looked twice or thought twice about me.

1:27:41And, and I know what it's like, but it's, if you want to be determined and you want to change your life like you can, and you don't have to stay in that situation like you can actively do things to make your life better and to make it more how you want. And I mean, at the time, I just had to tell myself that there was nobody around to tell me that. But to those young people out there, I just think, you can, like you can actively take steps to do it. And a great thing is the creative arts because, which can be so many different things like writing or painting or not just acting and being on a stage, all those things, because you might not know what your voices or how to express yourself.

1:28:33And those kind of areas are so important because it can help you find your voice. And so I would say to like, to try to encourage you to go into that, those kind of pursuits, even if it's just something you're doing in bedroom with a notebook and you writing song lyrics or you're writing a diary or something, that form of creative expression can be really, really useful. And you're the prime example of that and many respects you went from being that extremely sharp individual to the point, as you say, that people thought it was some kind of social disorder to being a Hollywood mega star. You also went in the personal context, you went from being someone who lost their virginity at 35 years old and wasn't in a relationship and was very sort of clearly avoidant to being.

1:29:20Which I do slightly regret now. Like I was like, oh, maybe. But then, yeah, again, I do believe that I wouldn't have the career that I had if I'd focused more on relationships and health before that. There's a lot of people out there that are arriving, maybe in their late 30s. And that maybe have hear that clock ticking. Yeah. And then they reflect on the decisions they've made over the last 20 years and they say, you know, actually, I hear the clock ticking and I do want a family. A lot of people also say I hear the clock ticking. I don't, some people just don't hear the clock ticking at all.

1:29:53Yeah. But there's a lot of people that are arriving at that age and going, okay, the priorities I had in hindsight now, maybe I maybe I got something wrong here earlier. And it's difficult. And I think that's really what your your book does so well is it's so honest about that sort of internal conversation you had with yourself about, okay, there are changes I need to be made made if I want to achieve something else. And I've decided I want something else. And it will throughout your whole story, it's so clear that you can change. Yeah. And it's never too late to change. And it's yeah. And I really, if anybody listening is like a late bloomer like like me, I mean, I don't think there's any shame in that.

1:30:34And that's one of the reasons why I put that virginity story in the book because like, on the one hand, it's very embarrassing for me to say that. But then if that helps other people out there feel like, oh, you know, okay, well, Rebel was like that and look at the life she has now. And so I would want them to not feel embarrassed about that because it doesn't really matter when you bloom like what age or, you know, things have come to me later in life. But I think all that matters is that it has come to me. Now, why am I saying that it comes to that? I've been but I, yeah, I just, I'm glad that my life turned out, you know, I didn't get all these awesome things in my 20s.

1:31:23It happened later and, and that's okay. We have a closing tradition on this podcast where the last guest leaves a question for the next guest not knowing who they're going to be living at for. And the question that's been left for you is those people that you love the most, what is preventing you from spending enough time hugging them? Are you able to change this? Okay, so what's so the people I love the most obviously apart from my family is like my, you know, my, my, my media family is my daughter and my partner. And what's preventing me from hugging them the most is literally physically not being with them because I'm like out, out promoting the book and, or if I'm shooting something and it's not appropriate for the baby to come.

1:32:15So, so not physically being in the same country or, or city as them because I'm working too much. And it says, are you able to change this? And I, and I am able to change it by not just accepting too much work and, you know, prioritizing the family more. Rebel, your book is incredible. It's incredible for so many reasons because it seeks to answer those really critical questions that I think a lot of people are struggling with which is about romance, it's about fertility, it's about, am I good enough, it's about finding love, it's about, it's an honest reflection of what I think a lot of work or holics go through in the modern era while also weaving in a story which I don't think many people know about your early childhood and where you've really come from and all the odds you've had to fight against coming from where you've come from to get to where you ended up really remarkable in every sense of the word but you confront the trade -offs which a lot of people don't always talk about those trade -offs we all have to make because as you said in this conversation you can't have it all in life.

1:33:16And so, you know, if you can't have it all at the same time. Yeah, for sure. You can probably have it all just not at the same time. Yes, in life just presents these trade - especially for people that are anomalies they have to make even bigger trade -offs than others. It's a remarkably funny book in such a subtle untry -hard way which is, that's good. But even you in conversation in the same, you're funny without even trying which is remarkable and the almond and the seahorse, I was told it was coming on the 10th of May. Yeah, in cinemas here in the UK. So it's out now and everyone can go and watch it.

1:33:50Yeah, and that's about traumatic brain injury. It's very serious movie and that was where I kissed my first woman in that movie, the French actress Charlotte Gainesburg. And the rest of history? Yeah, that's yeah. Part of my big part of my life on screen. Rebel, thank you. Thank you, Stephen. I really appreciate it and it is my most vulnerable, intimate thoughts put out there. But yeah, even if like 10 people relate to it and get something positive out of it, that's like, that means the world to me. And so even while it's nerve -wracking having the book out there, it's awesome at the same time.

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