Four Months in Gaza

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0:30to make those markets work for you. Follow Merrin Talks Money on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. I'm Simon Maben, and you're listening to the documentary from the BBC World Service. For assignment, this is Four Months in Gaza.

0:53So cheer hearing is basically a celebration because there might be possibly a ceasefire. This is Hanya al-Jamal. She's a 28-year-old Palestinian who lives in Gaza and works for an aid charity. It's July 7th, 2025. The weather is hot, very much so. The other day someone said, I don't know how the sky knows it's July already. All the ceasefire conversations are flaring up feelings of hope that are quite torturous in terms of whenever you get the news that it might be happening for sure. You feel happy or relieved or both and then you realise there's another news that says the entire opposite. Hanya's been recording the sounds around her and audio diaries for me since June when she sent daily entries over the course of a week for a documentary called One Week in Gaza.

1:53Foreign journalists like me are banned by Israel from reporting freely from Gaza. So Hanya's diaries are a way of hearing what it's really like living through the war there.

2:06Sorry, I need to clarify what the noise is. There is a couple of guys playing volleyball. And it's very innovative. So there's no net. There is a single line that is literally tied to one of the things that are poking out of the blown up building that is next to the guys playing. But they seem to be having lots of fun, as you might be hearing. Hanya's been forced to move five times by the war and is living in a tiny apartment with her parents and five siblings in Deir al-Bala, in the centre of the 41-kilometre Gaza Strip. They're still privileged compared to most Gazans, who live in temporary shelters.

2:53Before the war, Hanya was in Gaza City in the north, working as an English teacher at a school that's now been destroyed. Her parents were living in Rafa in the south, in Hanya's childhood home. I guess I am feeling depressed, I think, although I don't think that depression is the accurate terminology to use here since I know exactly why I'm set. Yeah. The other thing that's quite frustrating about all the ceasefire talks is the fact that we have learned that we lost our house. Yeah, it took my dad and my mum almost a couple of weeks at least to stop with the incessant crying. The demolition of homes like hers and the airstrikes Hanya's hearing are part of Israel's military action against Hamas, an Islamist resistance movement in Gaza that's designated a terrorist organisation by the UK, the US, Israel and others.

3:57Hamas led the 7th of October attack on Israel two years ago when militants killed around 1 ,200 people, most of them civilians, and took 251 people hostage. Israel says the aim of its response is to defeat Hamas. Over the past two years, Israel has killed over 70 ,000 people in Gaza, most of them women, children or the elderly, according to the Hamas-run health ministry, whose figures are seen as reliable by the UN. As the military action continued, more and more of Gaza became a no-go area for civilians.

4:47Today is July 22nd. Today also marks the third day since the latest evacuation order. We've been lucky that the evacuation order does not include the area where we're staying, but as you can hear, it's pretty volatile and very loud. And we've been hearing endless strings of explosions for the past 48 hours.

5:29So now, as of Sunday, Goslands have been living on 12 % of Goslands.

5:43I cannot fathom how this has went on for as long as it is going on. No one, no one is taking real steps to end it.

6:05It's really hard to have faith in humanity. It's getting really, really hard.

6:18I think there's a funeral.

6:31Today is August 7th and it's 3pm in the afternoon. The weather is milder than it had been two days ago, so that's nice. Another evacuation order was issued today at one of the areas people got recently back to. In the meanwhile, the Israeli Prime Minister threatens to start, quote-unquote, occupying Gaza. We are terrified, me and my family. We already lost almost everything we own. My apartment up north is still intact, but our plan was to move back there once it's safe. Now that's the first place they are, quote-unquote, occupying. This only tells me we would probably be fully homeless once this is over, if this is ever over, which is seeming less likely every day now.

7:35Back in June, in Hanya's very first audio diary to me, she described seeing one of her neighbours from her balcony growing plants in his tiny garden and how it gave her solace. the purest form of resistance, she called it. The interesting thing that I'm seeing right now is my old neighbour, he's been prepping the soil for seeding new seeds. I'm not giving everything that's already happening. It's quite interesting seeing him do that right now. But I mean, if Grandpa thinks it's a good time to put seeds in, then I don't know, maybe there's hope.

8:34The sound that I just sent to you was an explosion in the vicinity of Al-Aqsa Hospital in Al-Balah. It's August 21st and it's around 10am in here. The crazy part, it's hundreds of metres away from us, but still, like, I could see sharp knolls hitting the wall and window and stuff. And, yeah, that was quite the explosion, really. The airstrike hit a temporary refugee camp near Al-Aqsa Hospital. No one was killed. warning phone calls were reportedly made by the Israel Defence Forces, the IDF, but the attack destroyed the tents and belongings of the people living there. The IDF says it struck two positions from which rockets had been fired towards Israel.

9:21It's August 25th and it's around midnight right now. I am at the balcony and it's a little bit hot. Usually right now I'd be sound asleep, but today was the targeting of Nasr Medical Hospital. And for six minutes, I almost lost my mind. My sister works for a medical organization, and she's based there, usually. The news of a double tap on Nasr was an experience of pure and complete terror. I hastily picked up the phone trying to call my sister and after a handful of attempts the call went through my sister sounded okay and she said that there was a logistical mess up that she just ended up not going and stayed at the office I think about how this isn't called terrorism because it's not brown enough to be called so.

10:35I am horrified. We are all horrified. It's there on live TV. I often think, what is the final quota? How much is enough? This is how the world sees us. The way the world would always see us.

11:00replaceable, collateral damage, and it breaks my heart.

11:10The double strike on Nasser Hospital was reported to have killed at least 20 people, including medics and journalists. Israel says it deeply regrets what it describes as a tragic mishap. It says Hamas uses its own people and public buildings such as hospitals as shields, and that a thorough investigation of what happened is ongoing. It's August 27th, and right now it's almost 12am. I spent most of the day trying to apply for scholarships. I talked myself into the idea that while this isn't my fault, no one's going to save me. If I don't figure something out for myself, I'm more or less screwed.

12:02The only centering thought for me is that I think nothing is truer than Gaza, than being home, than facing the same fate as one's loved ones. I am far more terrified of grief than I am of death losing than being lost

12:32that's a lot of dogs that have been like fighting with each other I don't know we have a lot of strays in this part it's 10 30 and today is september the 20th 2025 and you would be shocked at how my surroundings look like right now the tiny space that is between our building and everyone else has turned into an impromptu refugee camp people in Gaza City are being forcibly displaced from Gaza City to the south. There's such much space. The old man that was cultivating in his tiny garden had to dig up most of the vegetation that he grew because they dug a water well underneath so that it could accommodate for the water need in the area, which is rapidly growing.

13:35I think at least 30 families have moved in here in the past couple of days. I think he's going to have to start over with that. On a brighter note, I think I got a scholarship. I am supposed to start school on the 29th of this month. So really, TikTok time is not on my favor. But yeah, I wonder what would happen from today to the 29th. The scholarship means Hanya is now eligible for British government support to leave Gaza so she can take up her place at the University of London. But that can't happen until her visa application is approved. You're listening to the documentary from the BBC World Service.

14:31This is Simon Maben with Assignment.

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15:11It's October 2nd, 2025, and it's 8am here. The weather feels gentler, almost chilly these days, at least in the mornings. I'm still here in Gaza, caught up in an endless string of red tape. Yesterday, I cried for the first time in a while. I am extremely frustrated. And it feels like I am living in this practical joke where I am bending over backwards to be granted freedom of movement to get a master's in human rights. You've got to admit it. The irony is palpable. But then, the next week, Hanya messages with good news. She's got her visa. And just a few days later, on the 9th of October, US President Donald Trump announces that Israel and Hamas have both signed off on a ceasefire in the first phase of a new peace plan.

16:20It's 6.30, and today is October 10th, 2025. and I am at the balcony.

16:33The weather is slightly cold today. How do you feel? I was asked this question a handful of times since the early morning yesterday. I don't know how to feel. It still feels all unreal. this multi-stage scheme has managed to trick us so many times already. I find myself perplexed by this sudden urge to run barefoot to the graves of those who died in the last few moments. To nudge them back to life. To tell them that it is finally over.

17:20That now they can come out of hiding.

17:26Reflected by this urge to cultivate missing limbs, to grow them back into bodies of tiny children. For embraces to feel warm and games to be played. I want to run back to my childhood home. But most of all, mostly I miss me. before all of this. I miss living without this constant boulder down my throat, almost always on the edge of tears. I miss not feeling fundamentally broken, lacking, and unreal. But parts don't grow back, and the dead don't go back to life. And no matter how I tried, I couldn't yield them or home back into existence out of sheer longing and fading memories. I can't write them into being or my loved ones back to life.

18:33I have tried.

18:38There are outbreaks of violence and disputes over the terms of the ceasefire deal, but mainly it holds. Then Hanya is given a date and details for her departure, the first time ever that she'll leave Gaza. Her luggage allowance, decided by the Israeli authorities, is zero, just the clothes on her back. Today is the 20th of October, 2025, and it's 7.30am. I'm supposed to leave Gaza on the 22nd, before dawn. Underneath the surface, I'm extremely scared. will I ever come back? My roots feel to be buried under piles of concrete. My heart is filled with emotions, it's about to implode.

19:36Today is 22nd and it's 5 30 p.m. right now. We are on the final checkpoint to be able to enter Jordan. It's been a long, long trip. I've said goodbye to my parents, my siblings, and that had its emotional toll. Don't know what happens from now, but yeah, we're still waiting.

20:10it's October 24th and it's 6 45 right now I am in the hotel it's such a weird thing to say out loud it is my first time staying in a hotel ever I saw my first civilian airplane.

20:39It's such an odd experience just to see something like that and

20:56to realize that it's not there to hurt you.

21:09When we existed, Gaza, and we went through the occupied Palestinian territories, I was mind blown. You can look and to the first risk point, it's all these mountains and empty space and just the idea. There's so much space, this absolute vastness. and it's just overwhelming because for as long as they've lived for as long as any of us have lived we lived in a very tiny place where everything that's coming in and out is completely controlled and monitored and then the war happens and then we're denied our tiny little lives, our small little lives, our small little streets, and our small little houses.

22:21And it's like... And it's like the cruelest thing and the injustice of it all. And all of it, all of it is just trouble and devastation and poverty and death and so much death and I don't care what your politics is, I don't care what your reasoning is, it's just not fair and it's so starkly unfair and you can bring a four year old and they will tell you it's unfair

23:02and just processing all these emotions it's just so exhausting it's going to take a long time to get used to all of this

23:21I'm in central London I'm in a big Georgian square and I'm on my way to meet Tanya in person which feels so surreal she's living in student accommodation here provided through a scholarship. And after six months of being in contact and hearing about everything that she's been through, I'm just really excited to actually meet her. So I think this is her building. Hello. Hi. How are you doing? Hello. It's nice to meet you. Likewise. This is insane. I hope you're not too drenched. No, it's okay. I had my umbrella.

24:14You're taller in real life than the invoice notes. Yeah, yeah. I get that a lot. I get that a lot. Do you want to take a look around? Yeah, show me around. This is a bar. Okay. Why don't you have your own bar? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hang out here a lot, not drinking. Yeah. Yeah, there's like... just like members room, people here like do activities. Where's the piano coming from? Here.