Searching for hope as a hostage in Gaza

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1:11Two years ago, Israelis living close to Gaza's border woke to the sounds of rockets, warning sirens and gunfire.

1:22Hamas launched an unprecedented dawn attack on Israel, killing entire families and targeting a nearby music festival. Some 1 ,200 people were killed and 251 taken to Gaza. For the hostages, October 7th would mark the start of captivity in Gaza's tunnels and their search for hope in the darkest of places. Armed terrorists all around us, they blindfolded us and transferred us to another car and down into a tunnel. They were chained together. And not just any chain. It's not like chains like you think about chains. It's like motorcycle chains. There is maybe 1 % that Tal is alive. I know he's not, but I know that there are other people in my family that think that he's alive.

2:10Today, 48 hostages remain in Gaza, 20 of whom are thought to be alive. Thank you very much, everybody. You did it! Now, after some of the hostages have spent more than two years in captivity, President Trump has announced a ceasefire agreement, which gives hope to their families that they may finally come home.

2:36I'm Naomi Sherbal-Bor, and this is Documentary on the BBC World Service. For Heart and Soul, I've been speaking to people who are held hostage and their families about how the trauma of the last two years has impacted them and their Jewish faith. This program was last updated on the 9th of October, but the interviews you are about to hear were gathered in the weeks beforehand. A warning, it contains descriptions some may find upsetting.

3:09Every week for two years now, thousands of Israelis have protested and even joined together in prayer, calling for the hostages to be released. The 48 hostages are still trapped. This evening, amongst those speaking, 66-year-old American-Israeli Keith Siegel, who was released from Hamas captivity earlier this year. I sat in darkness longing to be here, to be home, to be with my family, to feel the warmth of Shabbat, of the Sabbath, and to hear the joyful voices of my grandchildren around the table. Every single day of those 484 days, I prayed for this moment. And now I am here. I am free. I am back at my Shabbat table in the circle of love and faith.

3:57But my heart is not whole, and part of me remains in Gaza with my friends that remain there.

4:08For 40 years, Keith and Aviva Siegel lived in Kfar Aza, a kibbutz neighbouring Gaza. The kibbutzim are unique to Israel, originally a kind of collective farm deeply rooted in social responsibility and largely secular. October 7, 2023, was Simchat Torah, a Jewish holiday celebrating the completion of reading part of the Hebrew Bible. But for Aviva, the day was meant to mark their community's annual kite festival. There was lots of the kites that was written, hope, peace, before the 7th, because everybody wanted peace with Gaza and to have better lives for both countries. The Gaza people could see the kites.

4:55So if they read what's written, they would understand that we want peace. But unfortunately, it didn't happen. And the guy that was in charge of all of this was murdered with his family, hugging on the bed together, shot dead. That day was finished for hope. It was finished for peace. The kites were never flown. Instead, Keith and Aviva spent the morning sheltering in their safe room.

5:26around 15 terrorists broke into our house came in through the window shot into the safe room forced us out of the room and then forced at gunpoint and we were shot at when they forced us to take them to our car and they drove us into gaza they blindfolded us and transferred us to another car, into a house and down into a tunnel. After 51 days held captive, Aviva was released during the first ceasefire in November 2023. They took Aviva. We hugged each other and Aviva said to me, I will be strong for you and you will be strong for me. And I was thinking, it's possible I won't see Aviva ever again, or my family.

6:18Keith was told he too would be freed the next day, but it would be a further 14 months before he saw Aviva again. Constantly on the move, he says he changed location 33 times, sometimes overground, often in tunnels. They told me that they were going to kill me, just out of the blue. I was kicked, I was spat on, I was cursed, just out of the blue for nothing. You've spoken about your faith deepening in captivity. How did your faith help you in those times? I had promised myself that I must survive. There was no way that I would give up hope, because if I gave up hope, it meant not being able to survive.

6:59And my Jewish faith also was very empowering. As time went on, I remembered more and more prayers from my childhood, basically, that I hadn't said or heard in a long time. Like many in the kibbutzim, Keith didn't practice Judaism, though he said he always had faith and a strong sense of Jewish identity. But on October 7th, he did pray. And in the tunnels, that sense of belief was tested further. They were constantly telling me that I must convert to Islam. And I was trying to at least presenting myself to them as willing to hear this. the more I showed them that I was empathetic, that it would hopefully create a calmer, more positive atmosphere in which they would be less likely to beat me, to kick me.

7:50So I think the more they were trying to convert me to Islam, the more my Jewish identity and my faith and my belief became stronger. After 484 days held hostage in Gaza, Keith was finally released during the ceasefire earlier this year.

8:10Singing Daddy Has Come Home to Us, adapting the words of a popular peace song, his daughters hugged him in tears.

8:25For his first family Friday night meal in more than a year, Keith asked for a kippah and a kiddush cup, that's the head covering worn by observant Jewish men, and the symbolic cup that is held during the blessing. And this summer, against the odds, Keith and Aviva were finally able to celebrate the wedding of their daughter, Shia, together as a family.

8:53It was a moment that became true because for so many days and months and minutes, we didn't know if it will ever, ever happen because we wanted Keith to come back, and I, in captivity, didn't know that I'll ever come back. And I used to think about this wedding all the time, that they're waiting, and because they got engaged just a couple of weeks before we got kidnapped, it was much, much more than a wedding. I think a miraculous thing happened, a huge mix of emotions across the whole spectrum of emotions. And thinking about my friends that are still in captivity, thinking about all of the 48 hostages that are still in captivity and how they need to be brought back to their families to experience being together and the joy and hopefully what we were able to experience at the wedding and in life, everybody deserves that.

9:53Keith is one of a number of hostages who have spoken about reconnecting with their Jewish faith in Gaza's tunnels.

10:04Here, Daniela Gilboa, a young female soldier, sings a traditional Friday night song, which she translated from Hebrew into Arabic, so her captors would allow her to continue to pray. My family and I, myself, we believe you've been sent by God. That's former hostage Omer Shemtov speaking to President Donald Trump in the White House in March. Omer and other released hostages started to pray daily in captivity and began observing the rules around the Jewish Shabbat, which he's continued to do on his release. And Agam Berger, a young female soldier who wrote a message to the Israeli public from the helicopter taking her to the hospital.

10:50It was from Psalms in the Old Testament. I have chosen the way of faithfulness, and in the way of faithfulness I have returned. I've come to a small village in the north of Israel, perched on the hillside with views across the Carmel Mountains. At the entrance, large posters of 24-year-old Alan Ochul, who grew up here. He was kidnapped on October 7th and remains a hostage in Gaza today. I'm making a lot of things with birds from the 7th of October mostly because it's like freedom. Birds represent freeing. Edith, Alon's mum, shows me around her art studio, full of nature-inspired ceramics and deep blues and greens.

11:36I'm in a time where I'm not... My son is in this position where, you know, he's a hostage. So creating something from nothing is feeling that you're in control of something in your life.

11:51Alon is a young jazz pianist. Here you can hear him playing at his home. In October 2023, Alon had recently returned from travels in Asia. He drove down to the Nova Festival, arriving early that morning, just an hour before Hamas launched their attack.

12:15In the chaos, he headed to the Raim Bon Shelter, messaging his mum to let her know he was OK. But then, no more messages. We knew something was really wrong. And my daughter took her phone and she like every five minutes called him constantly for like hours and hours. And around 1130, this girl answers and she's like quiet. And she answers the phone and she says very quietly but very stirrical. There's terrorists shooting at us and we are scared and please save us. For more than a year, the Ochil family had no news of their son, until the ceasefire in February, when those held with Alon were released.

13:03The freed hostages shared their testimony about his life in captivity. Being alone now in the tunnels, and in the tunnels, you know, the conditions are unbearable. There's not a lot of air. he's been nourished he does not get a lot of food in him he's been sleeping on the floor for like a year and a half before they got some kind of small mattress and his injuries obviously he does not see in one eye in his right eye Elisa Rabi, one of the other hostages who was released earlier this year has spoken about being chained with Alon and not just any chain It's not like chains like you think about chains.

13:49It's like motorcycle chains. And they are very hard and heavy and just, just terrible.

14:09You're listening to Erlon playing Debussy here, accompanied by the Haifa Symphony Orchestra.

14:24But it's a concert that Alon never attended. The orchestra performed alongside a recording of his playing the piano in an attempt to remind the world that he remains alive in Gaza. Music, you know, is an international language. So because Alon is a pianist and because music is part of him, We use music to connect people, and we use music to send alone love and to send him strength. You think that that has power? Yes, I do. It has power because I think we're all connected, and when you think of somebody sending him laughter and sending him something that is positive, in some way, it gets to him and it helps him survive.

15:16Yellow pianos, like this one you can hear in Hostage Square in Tel Aviv, have been sent by family and friends to be played by the public in cities around the world.

15:30In Gaza, released hostages say that Alon is prevented from singing by his captors, but he constantly hums tunes and plays an imaginary piano with his hands. I would say singing goes straight to God, straight up. It's the same thing. Singing has to do with something inside you. Edith says she isn't religious, but describes herself as very spiritual. And that openness has helped her find a way through two years of pain. You know, when something that happened to you, you can look at it, It's either a struggle or you can see it as a journey, learning and adapting and changing the way you are. Yes, I think 7th of October changed me, made me a better person, seeing things differently in life.

16:30I think it's doing the same to alone. It's changing him, obviously. Change is not a bad thing. I think when you are in a bad situation, when life hits you, if you try to learn from it, you will survive.

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18:33This edition of Heart and Soul was last updated on Thursday the 9th of October. I'm Naomi Sherbal-Bur and I'm in Israel speaking to former hostages and the families of those still held on how it's impacted their faith. Jewish New Year, or Rosh Hashanah, is one of the most important Jewish festivals taking place this year just before the second anniversary of October 7. Families usually gather for a traditional meal and it's a particularly difficult time for the hostage families with empty seats at the dinner table and their loved ones still in Gaza.

19:14Former hostages and their supporters gather outside Prime Minister Netanyahu's residence declaring that there is no holiday or festival until the remaining hostages are home. On the eve of the Jewish New Year, Hamas release a propaganda video of Alan Ochel, the second in recent weeks. Edith and her husband, Kobi, call it psychological terror. In an emotional video appeal, they say this is the moment to do the right thing and release the hostages.

19:56Edith and Kobi appeal to their son, choking back the tears.

20:06Be strong, they say. Believe in that moment that is about to happen. We will hug each other soon. We are with you.

20:24Ahead of Jewish celebrations, Ella and Tal Haimi used to send out messages with their children, wishing everyone happy holidays, videos with big smiles and family hugs. This year, though, there was no celebration. Ella says it's a day like any other, until the body of her husband is returned from Gaza.

20:45Digging an empty grave. In December 2023, Ella held a funeral for her husband Tal, who was killed on October 7th. She still hasn't been able to bury him.

21:02On October 7th, she says, a part of me also died and fell apart, and now I have to rebuild anew. Niyatak is nestled close to Israel's border with Egypt and neighbors Gaza. It's a small kibbutz with a population of around 500 people. On the morning of the Hamas attack, Ella, who was two months pregnant, stayed in the safe room at home with her three children. Tal, who was part of the local security team, went to try and secure the entrance gate at the other side of the kibbutz. We got a formal message from the kibbutz around nine that there are terrorists in the kibbutz. I was afraid, but I especially was worried about Tal, because I know he's there, he's over there outside.

21:50And that's it, I never heard from him. In the end of the day, I've been told that probably kidnapped, because his phone was located in Han Yunus. I told to the kids, I showed them on the map where is Han Yunus, this is very close, I told them, he will come back soon. I understood that we have a big, big problem. I didn't think that he was dead. I felt that he was alive. Here at the entrance gate of the kibbutz, there's a small yellow sentry building with bullet marks all around. Fifty metres away, Tal and the other security officers in the kibbutz fought to keep almost 100 Hamas gunmen at bay and outside of the kibbutz.