Super Bowl LX

26:31Welcome to San Francisco, ahead of Super Bowl XVI. This is a Not By The Playbook special with me, Katie Smith, from the BBC World Service. And the Golden City is bustling with excitement for the big game. The sheer power, the aggression, the skill that will be on show. And a little later, we're going to hear from the former NFL player Steve Wright, who, like all football stars, had a constant battle between becoming a monster on the field and being a human away from it. Turning into a psycho killer in the locker room, getting ready to go out to play a game. And then when you come out, then you're asked to hold a baby and take pictures and give everybody hugs and kisses.

27:16And I'm still sweating from being in a three hour fistfight. So it's, yeah, the economy of turning it on and off is really draining. Before that, though, we left former offensive rookie of the year, Leonard Russell, fighting his own demons. Destitute in jail, his addiction had stripped him of his career, his house, and now his family.

27:52It's funny how when you're still at that lowest point, I'm still not surrendering yet. I hadn't surrendered yet. I was just, that's when I was depressed. I was suicidal, didn't want to live. You know, I just realized that I couldn't understand how my life had got to where it was and how I let it get to, how I let it get there. You know, I was 46 years old and I'm sitting in the jail cell and, you know, nobody was picking up no phones. and I didn't even have the strength to make no phone calls and call nobody. So I sat in the county jail for a month before I was court ordered to go to the Salvation Army.

28:41You know, I just never thought it would happen to me, right? You know, I understood. And I had heard stories, but, you know, just in passing, hey, you know, you might get offered this, don't do this. You know, I grew up in a, in a, in a tough neighborhood. So I seen alcoholism. I seen addiction. I seen what drugs can do to a person. And I just never thought that that was my story. Right. You know, I always just thought that it was a recreational thing. I was having fun with it, but didn't realize the whole time how it was affecting me, how it was affecting my family. And then, um, and then understand the nature of the disease, right?

29:22When you talk about that, like something that no matter how much you want to control, you can't, right? It's like having an allergy to something. If you, if you take, take it, touch it or, or use it, you're going to, the reaction is going to happen no matter how strong willed you are. It's going to happen because, because that's just how it affects extra body. That's what drugs was to me, right? It was that allergy that I knew, I knew that it was having an effect on me, but once I put it in my body, there was no control in how I used it, right? It was like, okay, because there was always a plan.

30:01Like I always had a plan, like whenever I use that, okay, I'm just going to do this and be okay and not use no more, right? I'm only going to buy a little bit so I can get up in the morning. I'm only going to buy a little bit so I can get through my day at work. I'm only going to buy a little bit so I can feel better, but never thinking that that little bit was going to turn into three days, four days, right? I never thought that because I didn't understand the allergic reaction that my body was having to it and that phenomenon craving, that obsession where I couldn't turn it off. And so I had to have more.

30:36Right. And the only thing that would stop it was just being really, really tired after a three or four day binge to where, you know, I just fell asleep and then slept for two, three days and then get right back at it. Right. So I wasn't controlling it. It was controlling me, but I always thought I had control over it. But I didn't learn all of this until I until I got to the Salvation Army and and the steps that we have to take and and understanding that I wasn't alone. That was the biggest part. Right. Because I still thought I was a failure being in a rehab. When I looked at my life at 46 years old, walking into a rehab, I still felt like, man, it was still there was hope, but there was how did you get here?

31:26right like you know and you look around and because you don't you haven't yet made a connection yet you're looking around and you're thinking you know i'm not like none of these people you know what i mean and and and they're it's not they're not going to understand me and and there were still things really dark things that i had never said before And I didn't feel like I ever could say until, you know, I just just sat still and then just started to go into the rooms of A.A. and N.A. and, you know, and in the chapel and in the Bible study classes and all the things that we do at the Salvation Army, counseling, spiritual and the drug and alcohol counselors.

32:12And so just trusting God that he had me in a place where he was saying, OK, this is your opportunity. You know, a second chance. Right. You know, second, third and fourth chance for a lot of us. Right. But for me, it was it was a second chance. Right. Because I didn't think that I would I could recover. I couldn't. I want to. And thank God it's a six month program because. You know, for the first couple of months, I was just healing, trying to forgive myself. I was really trying to process, man, can I even live without drugs? Can I live my life without this thing, man? Because for over the last 25 years, it was a part of my life.

32:59So really, how can I do this, right? And I didn't know, and I hoped, right? And I believed in God, but I still hadn't developed that relationship. and it wasn't until I saw myself in that jail cell and then that depressed mode where I just said okay Lord if you don't help me I don't know what I'm gonna do but I knew who God was because I was raised in the church so I knew who to call on and I said I just just help me right um whatever whatever it is that you want me to do I'll do wherever you want me to go I'll go but I can't keep doing this and I don't know how to stop and that was my prayer

33:42so when you got to the Salvation Army recovery program did you have any hope Leonard that it it was going to turn around at that point well I had yeah I had hope that was the only thing that was keeping me going it was just hope that I could change um you know I in jail I kind of I saw the Lord at work in my life in a way to where I started to believe that he was real. And that's when I realized that in order for me to do anything or to get better, I needed him in my life. Leonard was on the long road to recovery. But would he ever be able to convince himself and his family that he was truly able to change?

34:46Now, whichever team wins the Super Bowl will not only receive the Vince Lombardi trophy and have a homecoming parade, they'll also get their hands on a Super Bowl ring. But why a ring and not a medal? Well, Chris Poitras is from Jostens, the jewelers who've made the vast majority of those Super Bowl rings. You know, I was watching some of the NFL football games on television, and all the broadcasters that had won Super Bowls all had their Super Bowl ring on. And for them, it's their trophy, and they get to carry that trophy forever. So, you know, a medal is very nice, but I don't see any athletes wearing medals or anything on television.

35:27So this is an opportunity for them to keep that championship that is so special and means so much to them, close to them at all times. These rings are priceless. You know, there is no value that you can put on these rings. You know, they are made of gold and diamonds. There are not a lot of folks that get to put these rings on their hand and hold them forever. So their opportunity to do so, it really is, it's impossible to put a value against these rings. So what about the designs on the rings themselves? Who decides what imagery is used? Well, the championship ring design changes every year. It's particular to the team that wins the championship.

36:03So each year you try to take the entire season and put it into one design that would celebrate everything that happened. Kind of commemorate the year from a jewelry perspective and with diamonds and logos. And we present those to the ownership groups. And then they would share with us different things that we may not know about what was important to them or important to the team or individuals in the organization. We take really about an eight-week process. We'll manufacture all of the rings, and then they give those as mementos to those players to wear for forever. When they open the box, that was the first time that anyone would have seen the design of the championship ring.

36:45Every single one of these rings is handcrafted, custom made for that individual. It does take us a little bit of time to put 209 diamonds on a ring individually by hands. So as we approach the 60th Super Bowl, are the rings today made with that added bit of bling? Roughly 100 grams of both. That's a fairly large ring. The first Super Bowl ring for Vince Lombardi in the Packers was 42 grams. So they have sure grown over time, as have the athletes, that the growth of the ring has come more from the necessity of wanting to get more elements onto the ring itself. You know, that the first Super Bowl ring had one one one carat diamond at the top of the ring to signify the first Super Bowl championship.

37:36And then, as I mentioned, the athletes obviously have gotten larger over time. So when you see these athletes with these rings on now, even though they're really big, they don't look as large as they would on myself or you. William, the Refrigerator Perry, he actually has the largest Super Bowl ring ever made in ring size and is actually a size 25. So it is absolutely enormous. I can put two of my rings inside of his one ring. So it was the 1985 ring for the Chicago Bears. The remarkable fingers of the William the Refrigerator Perry, as described by Chris Poitras from Jewelers Jostens, who on Monday, while they might just have an order placed for 65 or so Super Bowl rings, the question, though, will it be for the Pats or the Seahawks?

38:29Now, as mentioned, the TV adverts on Super Bowl Sunday are in the region of$10 million for 30 seconds. Expect to see Matthew McConaughey endorsing a food delivery app, Kylie Jenner throwing her weight behind a betting platform and Emma Stone flogging a website building service. Well, it's time for our ad break now and, sorry, I hate to admit, we're not quite as star-studded.

38:57Hey, it's producer Joel here in San Francisco and strangely, no one's asked me to be involved in their Super Bowl commercial this year Must be an oversight Anyway, a little earlier I asked you about one of the most iconic Super Bowl adverts of all time as Apple unveiled their Macintosh computer in 1984 But who directed that famous commercial? Was it A, Steven Spielberg, B, Ridley Scott or C, Quentin Tarantino? Well, the answer is B, Ridley Scott. And with around$3.5 million worth of Macintoshes sold just after the advert, it was considered a roaring success and is still remembered as one of the most iconic Super Bowl commercials in history.

39:56From the BBC World Service, I'm Katie Smith in San Francisco for a not-by-the-playbook Super Bowl special. You get the bench. Yeah, I know, right? The bench. The Gabriel stands here. Yeah, this beach is fabulous. Steve and Lizzie Wright decided to move down the coast when wildfires hit their neighbourhood in L.A. and they've settled somewhere pretty spectacular. We really love this area. It's more mellow than LA. I love it. Is it? That's good. Now in his 60s, Steve was the archetypal NFL star. Six foot, six inches and 285 pounds of muscle and pure aggression. So how do you balance the monster on the field with the man off it?

40:43Well, Lizzie and Steve have invited us to their Californian home to watch the sunset and tell us about the book they've decided to write together, Aggressively Human. Turning into a psycho killer in the locker room, getting ready to go out to play a game. And then when you come out, then you're asked to hold a baby and take pictures and give everybody hugs and kisses. And I'm still sweating from being in a three-hour fistfight. So it's, yeah, the economy of turning it on and off is really draining. And that's actually what drove me to my retirement after 11 years. It was just so mentally draining.

41:25I was more mentally tired than physically. The mindset of having to take me as I am right now, who I always am, to just turning into a killer. I could turn it on. I had a whole ritual where I would look in the mirror and I'd sit there three hours before the game and just work yourself into a crazy. We'd be wearing headphones and listen to Metallica and pounding coffee. And game time was just, you were a loony tune. I'd look in the mirror on the way out of the locker room for a game and I would honestly not recognize myself. I just looked like an angry killer. Did you like who you were? Yeah, great question.

42:07And yes, I did. I loved getting to that point. It was something I'd been doing since I was 10 years old and then in high school. And, you know, you develop that how to turn it on and off more as you go through college. And then all those years of football, it just wore you out. Couldn't wait to get away from all the football players. All the same thing. You're showering, you're flying, you're eating, you're living everything together all the time. the same mentality of guys, of the conversations, of let's go get a beer. And it just got old and I wanted something more. So it was super smooth and easy for me.

42:46Which is great to hear, but it's not actually the tale that we normally hear, is it? We often hear about the guys suddenly losing all sense of structure and perspective. But that's what everybody wants to hear. They don't really look for good stories. It's just like, you know, it's the news. You stop when you want to see a car crash. Everybody slows down to see a car crash. The bad stories sell, right? That story is bad stories. They want to see guys go down, especially when they've been at the peak, you know, and they've been in the NFL. They've won Super Bowl rings. And now look at that fat guy.

43:21Look at him. He's a loser. I didn't have a lot of downturns, you know, a lot of issues. And so it's an upbeat, thinking positive, helping each other. being filled with humanity to do things to help others. And that's kind of the way I've led my life. And Lizzie's on the same path. So we just decided one night, let's just write my story. Yeah. And she took off. What was fun about Steve's story is he's one of those people who the stars have aligned often in his life. And that doesn't mean he didn't work hard for everything he got, but he has had good fortune. And so it was a fun story to write. Why I wanted to write his story was not only to document it all and really have that for people to enjoy.

44:08And I call it like a fun men's beach read. And a lot of guys have been like, oh, this just was a fun ride. But there was a bigger issue that I wanted to tackle in writing the book, which is I saw in Steve the ability to navigate masculinity in a way that as a culture, we're trying to figure it out. kind of trying to sort through on the pendulum of what is healthy masculinity. We talk a lot about toxic masculinity, but for your average Joe, how do you navigate when you need to be aggressive and assertive, but then also how you need to be a nurturer? And so what I saw in Steve, which was to me quite unique, is at least physically a very aggressive, physically dominant man who is an incredibly gentle nurturing soul so to me he was almost like this anomaly that I wanted to dissect and how did he toggle on that spectrum and land in a place where he can exert you know that either side when he needs it but fall back to his center.

45:19Steve Wright and his wife and author Lizzie, who wrote the book Aggressively Human. And the contrast between Steve's journey and the former patriot Leonard Russell's is stark. But ultimately, they've arrived at pretty similar destinations. Lives of contentment, peace and purpose. For Leonard, that came about after finding the help and guidance of the Salvation Army whilst in prison. It meant a return to a happy, fulfilling life, proving to his loved ones, and especially to his wife, he was capable of meaningful and lasting change. She's always been a light in my life, right? Strong, supportive when she needed to be, and when she needed to let go, she understood that, and she was strong enough to do it.

46:06You know, she's like the accountability that I need every day. You know, I can be honest with her about how I'm feeling and about, you know, whatever it is that I'm going through. She was just the person that kept the family intact for years. You know, and it takes a strong woman to do that, to stick around because we had kids. And because I think she saw something in me early that she knew that the person that I was becoming was not the man that she married and the man that she had fell in love with. And I think she was just waiting for that person. So her faith kept her strong in that when I didn't have enough faith for us.

46:43She had enough faith for both of us. she kept our family together. And then when she needed to let go, she did. But that was the integral part of my recovery too, because that's when I realized that how serious I was about staying clean. Because when she told me that she needed to let go and she needed a divorce, I didn't know at the time until it happened that I would be okay, even if I didn't get her back, right? Because I understood why she needed to let go. You know, in a program, we talk about if I'm not the problem, there is no solution. Right? And so I always had to see my part in it. So I understood when she needed to let go that I thought my part in it.

47:22And I was able to not deceive her or try to convince her that I was okay. I had to just let her go. Right? But be honest with her about I didn't want that to happen, but I understood and knew why it had to happen. And I'm proud of her for doing it. Right? Because I think she had to see how committed and serious I was about recovery and about changing. Right. You know, and it's just through the grace of God that that didn't happen until after I had been in the program for over seven months. Right. I don't know what I would have there if she would have came to me and said that a month in my recovery.

47:59And maybe I would have said, oh, well, why do this? If I'm not getting this, then why do this? And my sponsor said something to me. He was like, why are you in recovery? Why do you want to get clean? I said, because I want to get my family back. I want to get my wife back. And I want to be the person I was before I started using. And I never forget that he said, well, what happens if she don't come back? And why would you want to be the person you were before you started using that person started using? And so things like that to where a recovery at the Salvation Army to where I wouldn't have got that nowhere else.

48:36Right. It's just it's just those things when you're around people who understand the disease, when you're around people who know a little bit more about it than you do and they've heard it all and seen it all. And so it just helped me change how I was thinking about recovery. And he said, if you do this, you got to do it for you because you can stay clean for them. You can stop you for them. Right. So what happens if your wife don't come back? What are you going to do? Right. And then you have to find out about that person that you were and what made that person want to pick him to start using drugs after he was NFL Ricky of the Year.

49:12And that's where the counseling came in, right? Where I could sit down and talk to somebody about the shyness and maybe the low self-esteem and maybe not being okay. That's where picking up the Bible and learning that God called us his masterpiece, right? So who am I to think any less of me if God is saying this about me, right? And so, you know, now I have to choose to believe that and I choose to believe that because I choose to want to be OK today. And then once I was able to forgive that person that started using. Right. And started to understand the steps that I needed to take towards recovery and then have the strength to be able to make a man, have the strength to be able to go tell people, you know, I'm sorry.

49:54And then be OK with however God give that back to me. Right. And so it's the Super Bowl weekend. And so when you think about it in these terms, here's what the Salvation Army was for me. Because in football, right, we're all going to watch the Super Bowl. And everybody out there is going to see this product on the field, right? And it's just these athletes and they're doing all these amazing things. But we only see the finished product. We don't see all the work they put in to get there. The year, the preparation, the months of preparation, all the ups and downs, and all the things that they go through to get to that point, we just see that finished product on the field and we go, wow, right?

50:36Well, that's what it is, right? I had to prepare, the Salvation Army prepared me for the game called life that I was going to have to live in once I got off the program. Everything that I did in there prepared me for what was to come, right? For that conversation with my wife, the Salvation Army prepared me for that. Going on and getting that job, you know, when I left the program, I'm going to Sober Living. Salvation Army prepared me for that. You know, I'm going to apologize and have to say I'm sorry to my kid and my parents and my son. Salvation Army prepared me for all those things, right?

51:08Through the Word of God, through the 12 Steps sponsorship, as far as giving back to the Salvation Army by helping out with what we do at the facility. All those things, you know, so it was just an opportunity for me to find out a little bit more about who I was, a little bit more about who God was and the nature of this disease that I was suffering from.

51:36As we leave the restaurant, Leonard offers me his hand and it envelops mine completely. It's enormous, almost as big as his heart. And if you've been impacted by Leonard's story, then there's health professionals you can speak to and organizations that can offer support. Details of help available in many countries can be found at Befrienders.org. The Super Bowl means different things to different people. It's estimated 80 % of the US population will sit down and watch a part of it. Maybe the game, maybe the adverts, or the halftime show. But in a time where America seems more divided than ever, the Super Bowl offers a snapshot into some of those national conversations.

52:22and an escape from them too. And a reminder through stories like Leonard's and like Steve's that there's plenty more that unites us than divides us. Right, it's time to enjoy the big game. So from me, Katie Smith, and producer Joel Hammer in San Francisco, and editor Matt Davies, it's Bye From Us. You've been listening to the documentary from the BBC World Service with me, Katie Smith. We've been in California with all the excitement ahead of the Super Bowl, the behind the scenes stories and inspirational tales from the players too. And if you've liked what you've heard, search for Not By The Playbook wherever you found this episode.

53:08Thank you very much for listening.

53:13The Interview. The best conversations from across the BBC. Today we are spending trivians on war and peanuts on peace. With the people shaping our world. You're making decisions that will have long-term consequences for the levels of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. Wind power in the United States has been subsidised for 33 years. Solar for 25 years. That's enough! The Interview from the BBC World Service. Listen now wherever you get your BBC podcasts.