Jumping into 2024 with Confidence

0:28Hi, I'm Michael Hyatt. wow. Really? I just had to cash that in. Okay. Send the therapist in. No, that's probably true. So actually, I think I'm projecting. Yeah. Again, therapists. We're back to therapists again. So we have a brand new format. We have a new name, a new emphasis, blah, blah, blah. We can't tell you anything about it yet, but hang on because it is coming and we're really excited about it. We literally can't wait to tell you. The biggest change is going to be to the format. I'm just going to preview that. I'm not going to say what it is, but. It will not involve tap dancing from us.

1:08And you're welcome for that. Have we agreed on that? Yeah. Okay.

1:15So between now and the end of the year, we've been running a special five-part series called Prepare to Win Double in 2024. Yeah. The first episode going further by giving thanks. So we timed that around Thanksgiving appropriately. Yeah. Second, rescuing your 2023 goals. Third, filling out your wish list for 2024. I love that episode. Me too. Yep. And last week we covered the choice between habits or achievement goals. And this week, drum roll, we're going to talk about jumping into next year with confidence. I think this is a really important topic because ever since COVID happened, I feel like sometimes people roll into the new year and you know, if you're a human, like we are, you probably had some things that happened that were not exactly what you planned.

2:06And you, if you're not careful, you can kind of have this hesitancy or insecurity as you think about the new year. And maybe you don't even really want to set goals or you're a little, you know, kind of on your heel back on your heels as you think about it, because you think to yourself, yeah, but these things that we're outside of my control happens. So how do I know that's not going to happen again next year? Yeah. And I think all of us have felt that. And yet at the same time, we know that when we're feeling confident, like maybe we've had a good night's sleep or something really positive has happened where we feel like we're winning, when our confidence is up, we feel like we can take on big things and really come to great results.

2:47But when our confidence is low, it's like you said, we feel hesitant. We're a little bit withdrawn. We're tentative. None of the things that you need to actually accomplish goals. But I have a question for you as we're thinking about this. I was going to say, who's the most confident person you know, but who's an example of a confident person that you know? Okay. This just came to my mind the other day. And it is Fawn Weaver, who is the CEO of Uncle Nearest, which is a local whiskey company. It's a black-owned, female-owned whiskey company that's been unbelievably successful. Fastest growing whiskey company in history.

3:23Yeah. And it's interesting. And actually, it reminds me a little bit of what Deion Sanders has done at the University of Colorado. There's just a sense of like, this is what I'm called to do. And I'm unapologetic about that. And I'm standing in that certainty, which is not about arrogance. I think in both of their cases, they're similar in this. It's not really about arrogance. It's really just about this confidence that I'm supposed to do this, this thing for such a time as this, and I'm doing it. And I find that really inspiring because for me personally, confidence does not come that easily.

4:00Maybe it doesn't come easily for them too. I don't know either of them personally. And so, you know, I can't, I can't say with intimate knowledge, but I'm inspired nevertheless. You know, it's tough, I think, because there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Totally. And it's obnoxious when people are arrogant. Yeah. And it's actually a mask for insecurity a lot of times. It truly is. And so confidence can be a very quiet thing. And I was thinking, I don't know if I even told you this, but this week I did an interview with Stu and Amy McLaren for their book club. And they had just read the new edition of Your Best Year Ever with their book club participants.

4:37And so they were having me as the author on. And I thought to myself, Stu, I think really gets it right. He's confident, but he's humble. He's not in the least arrogant, but he has a confidence that's really contagious. It's true. I love hanging out with him. Of course, we're going to be with him in a mastermind in a couple of weeks. I can't wait. It's going to be fun.

5:02Okay. Let's dive into it. We've got basically seven steps for you to become more confident as you begin to think about the goals for this next year. And these kind of are sequential. So step number one is clarity. Now, the reason this is important is because it's easier to be confident if you're clear about what it is you're trying to accomplish. In fact, if you're clear enough, you probably won't even think about your confidence. You'll just go do the thing. Yeah. But if there's ambiguity, there's usually hesitancy with that. Yes. You know, I mean, it's like the difference between going somewhere you've been a thousand times and you don't pull out your Maps app.

5:41You just get in the car and go there because it's practically muscle memory, like taking your kids to school or going to church or something. Done it hundreds of times versus you're going to go on a road trip somewhere you've never been before. And there's a lot of traffic and there's road construction and you keep getting rerouted. And you probably feel a little bit anxious the whole time and not confident because you're not sure you can get there on your own. Well, and this is where I think the writing process, writing your goals down, helps you to achieve clarity. And I've quoted this a thousand times, but thoughts disentangle themselves passing over the lips and through pencil tips.

6:20Don't know who said that. Doesn't matter. But the point is that there's something about either talking it out or writing it out and especially writing it out. This forces clarity. And a lot of times, I mean, I literally don't know what I think about something until I write it out. Yeah, absolutely. And so the process of trying to take that vague aspiration of something I want this next year and turning that into a goal, I've got to begin to write it out. Then it comes into focus, but it's the writing act. So if you're not clear about what you want, don't wait till you get clear to start writing your goal.

6:58No, start writing your goal or write out the aspiration, get as much as you can out on the paper, and then you can begin to shape that and dial it in and become even more clear. One of the things that we have seen over the last several years in particular with, for many of us, I think what feels at least like an unprecedented level of uncertainty in our external world, things we can't control that just every time you turn around, you're like, I can't believe that's happening. I can't believe that's happening. And a lot of it's really negative where you could tend to feel like I don't have any control and therefore I won't try to assert any control.

7:31Actually, when you get clear on what you can control, even if it's limited, it creates confidence. And the clarity is a big part of that. When you have clarity, then you have certainty. and human beings really like certainty. Yes. It attunes your focus and your attention on what you can control instead of being so distracted by these things that are outside of your control and you can't do anything about it. You know, I've noticed it myself that I stopped watching news about a month ago and I don't need any more of this in my life because it's like stuff outside of my control that creates that sense of uncertainty and like everything's out of control.

8:07But it's not out of control. It's just only out of control. It certainly is there, but it's not out of control here unless I invite it into my life. And I just found that I have less anxiety, less hesitancy, more clarity when I'm not watching the news. And I was shocked. In fact, my wife, Gail, didn't think I could do it. Because you were kind of a news addict. I kind of was. And I sort of follow news like people follow sports. Yeah. Except it's a lot more stressful than a football game. Yeah. Well, I don't know about that. It depends if your team's winning or losing, But I will say that it was part of my ritual.

8:44It had been ingrained into my muscle memory so that at five o 'clock, I would turn on the news, I would sit down, and that was like part of my daily ritual. It's how I closed out the day. But I haven't been doing that, and honestly, haven't missed it. Now, occasionally, in fairness, occasionally I've checked like Apple News just to kind of get the headlines, and I've discovered that they're pretty much the same as the last time I checked. Right. Everything's falling apart, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes the players change, but whatever. But it also doesn't serve my confidence. And because of what I'm out to accomplish in the world, because I'm trying to take on big things, I don't need somebody digging my confidence.

9:26Right. Right. And so the things that will ding your confidence are not good to have in your life. And the clarity is what's important. And the place where I can get the most clarity is about my own life, because that's where I have the most agency. Right. Right. And what's cool is all these seven steps that we're talking about, the first one being clarity, these are within your control. That's right. You know, it doesn't mean you can necessarily control the outcome of everything that's happening in your life. Like you are not necessarily master of your own destiny and we want to be clear about that, but you do have a lot of agency, even if you don't have total control.

9:58And so let's go into the second step, which is courage. And, you know, I've talked to my kids a lot about this because, um, they're coming up against things that they want to do that are scary or that they're facing limitations or challenges and they kind of want to quit. And it's easy to think that courage is the absence of fear. Like courage is a feeling. And courage is not a feeling. Courage is an action that you take in spite of your feelings. Like when you feel scared, you choose to do what you know needs to be done anyway. I've talked a lot on this podcast about my previous fear of public speaking.

10:37Right. And I didn't just like wake up one morning feeling confident, like, and courageous, you know, like this is going to be easy now. Now I'm this person that doesn't have any anxiety around speaking. It's like, what I figured out is I could actually take the action of speaking, even when I felt afraid, and the fear wouldn't overwhelm me. And I think that is the essence of courage. And certainly there are far more high stakes situations than speaking publicly. but I think it's a good analog for a lot of the things in our life that when we are going to set goals, it's normal to fear, to feel fear, uncertainty, and doubt.

11:09In fact, that's a really good indicator and you still need to take action anyway toward what you want. Well, that is a good indicator that your smarter goal is set in the discomfort zone, which is where you want it. Because all the research shows that you have a higher probability of actually achieving the goal if it feels a little bit risky, if it's in the discomfort zone, if it's in the comfort zone, it's just like, eh, why bother? Now, I will say that there's a really good hack for this. In fact, this hack will enable you to not maybe have to screw up as much courage. Like if I think of the ultimate goal, right, like in your case, public speaking.

11:44Right. So that event was a goal. Well, if you think too much about that, that is a scary thing. But if you focus on the next action, because again, courage is the ability to act in spite of our fear. Okay. So if we can dial that down and make that next step, step, something that is not scary, something that's easy, then we can basically get ourselves from where we are to where we want to be. Just one step at a time. One baby step at a time. Yeah. For example, you know, if you're going to have a speaking event and you're afraid about that, thinking about, I'm just going to review the outline for my talk today.

12:28Well, that's probably in your comfort zone, unless you start thinking about like I did standing in front of 800 people and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And, you know, the whole thing kind of snowballs from there. But if you train your attention to just focus on, I'm reading this outline, or I'm just testing my microphone, or I'm just picking out the outfit that I'm going to wear. Those are all things that you've probably done before, or if you haven't done, you can see your way too. You're not going to be in paralyzing fear over any one of those steps. And it really does help to inch your way toward the ultimate goal.

13:00Well, and by the time you've gone through all those steps leading up to it, then you've got enough momentum to actually step on stage, so to speak, and do the thing that you want to do. Dan Sullivan, and we may refer to him here several times as we're talking because many of these ideas came frankly from him. But this one about courage, he said, courage and confidence look exactly the same on the outside. And I had a client say to me in a one-on-one coaching call the other day, they said, man, I wish I could do everything as confidently as you do. And I said, well, first of all, you have no idea what's going on inside my head, my heart.

13:37And usually I'm scared. And I'm trying to do that thing, particularly that new thing. And I'm doing it in spite of how I feel or what my thinking is. And I said, I know it appears to you as confidence, but for me, there's a distinction between courage and confidence. Confidence comes after the courage. It's like the reward you get after that. So the first time you do something, like the first time I ran a half marathon, that was really scary. I mean, even in my training, maybe if I've been more diligent, in my training, this wouldn't have been the case. But even in my training, I'd never run the full distance of a half marathon.

14:14So when I went to that event for the first time, I had a lot of anxiety, especially the night before, because I'm thinking to myself, am I going to be able to finish? Am I going to puke my guts up? What's going to happen as I run this thing? Now, thankfully, in that particular event, and like all half marathons I've run, there's like 30 ,000 of your best friends at the starting gate. And it's like the euphoria is palpable and it instills you with confidence, which by the way, this is one of the reasons why you need to surround yourselves with, with people who are willing to do what we're talking about, who are courageous because courage is contagious too.

14:54It's true. And so if you can surround yourself with people who do hard things, even though they may be scared of them, that's inspiring. Well, and we're going to get to the the power of that in just a second, but the next step, so step one is clarity.

15:18But the next step, so step one is clarity. I feel like you're kind of moving me along. I'm moving you along. I understand. Okay. Step one is clarity. Step two is courage. Step three is commitment. And this is all about being connected to your why enough that you're willing to act with courage because it is uncomfortable to act with courage. Let's be very honest about that. Well, I kind of see courage as the thing you need on the front end and commitment is what you need through the process. Yeah. I think what makes you willing to act courageously though, is because the why matters so much. Like I'm thinking about parenting, for example.

15:54Now that's not a goal like in and of itself. I mean, it maybe it's the literal mother of all goals, but I, I don't think that. Did you really just say that? I really just said that. Sorry. It's so cheesy. Um, but the ultimate why of being committed to our children, realizing their God-given potential, being able and prepared to contribute in the world in meaningful ways and all those things. That's the ultimate why that, that enables us to like bring this tiny person home from the hospital with enough courage that despite the fact we're afraid that, you know, they're not going to survive us, we show up anyway.

16:32Well, that's why I was trying to make the distinction between courage is what you need when you start and commitment is what you need to keep going when you want to quit. And I would say that any significant goal for the most part, and this has been true for every book I've written, where there's a point at which I have a crisis, like an existential crisis. Like I don't have enough energy to complete this. I don't, this is, this is not good content. I almost said a bad word. It's not good content and there's nothing really here. And it just makes me want to quit. And it's only the commitment that keeps me going.

17:06And the only reason I keep going on the commitment is because I'm really clear on the why. Yeah. And it's worth it. And sometimes I have to tap back into that and it sounds almost rote, but to go back to my list of why statements for the goal and just say, okay, okay, why is this important? And I can remember one time after Gail and I had a fight that, you know, as you do occasionally, you think, sheesh, you know, why should I stay in this marriage? Right. Is it really worth it? Is this really worth it? And, you know, I've had moments throughout our marriage like that, not very often, thankfully, but occasionally I have those thoughts.

17:45And so I literally wrote down a list, I even blogged about it, of the reasons why I wanted to stay in this marriage. What was at stake? And I just reminded myself of why it was that this was an important value to me, that it was an important priority to me. And I think that's critically important to keep you going in those moments when you want to quit. I think the second half marathon I ran, we were doing it for New Hope Academy. You were the development director there, as I recall, or the marketing director. Community director. And I wanted to quit at about maybe a mile marker 10 or 11. And I thought, man, I can't do that because I don't want to let down these kids.

18:29Yeah. Because you were running to raise scholarship money. Yeah. And you could say, well, that's an extrinsic motivation. And maybe it was, but it was also very important to me intrinsically and internally. Okay. Well, that leads to step number four, which is community. And I think this is great news. If we're thinking about our confidence going into the new year, it doesn't have to all depend on us. We are not necessarily enough on our own to sustain the kind of confidence and momentum we're going to need to go the distance, which is totally fine because community comes in and steps in the gap.

19:05So how do you think about that as you're thinking about confidence and goal achievement? Yeah, well, if you can't immerse yourself into a community that's trying to achieve the same thing that you're trying to achieve. So, for example, if you're going to run a half marathon or run a full marathon or whatever, join a running club. We both did that. And it's amazing when you need to get up at like five in the morning on a Saturday and it's cold and raining. There is no chance you're doing that on your own. But like if you know those people are cold and ready to go at some park somewhere, you're probably going to show up.

19:34And this is against my natural tendency. I tend to be a Lone Ranger by nature, and I was stubbornly resistant to this idea of a running group. But literally, after the first time I did it, I thought, this is a game changer. This makes all the difference. And this is why, for example, if you're an entrepreneur, get in a mastermind or a coaching program with other entrepreneurs. This is one of the reasons why I've been part of Strategic Coach. for, and again, this is not a paid advertisement, but it's a coaching program for entrepreneurs, but I'm around other like-minded entrepreneurs. And so that gives me kind of the confidence and everything else to continue when I want to quit.

20:16Awesome. So communities are really important. And the cool thing is there is probably a special interest group for you, whatever it is you're trying to accomplish, it's out there. This is where I think, you know, Facebook is often maligned because it's social media and people hate it. And I, you know, I've, there's parts of it that I hate too. But the thing that to me is so valuable is the private Facebook groups. So if I'm trying to do anything and I, and my interests vary from time to time, like, like fishing, for example. So I've gotten into not just a fishing group, but a fishing group for the lake where I fish.

20:55And so it's all the guys that fish on that lake, all the anglers that are, are trading stories. and sharing their victories and sharing tips and all that. And it's enormously motivating. So community, game changer. If you're struggling to finish, you want to get in a group. By the way, what's this note that we have about the chicken and the egg here? Oh, which comes first, the commitment or the community? It is kind of a chicken and egg thing, which parenthetically, yesterday I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know how it turns out. Oh, my gosh. That, okay. That was your one horrible dad joke.

21:33And then you're totally cut off after that. Another day I told me that one. Okay. Let's go to step five. Which is capability. And this is not actually something that you're going to do, like take action on, but it's a natural by-product of pursuing a meaningful goal. You are going to develop capabilities that today you don't have. And that is going to give you confidence. You know, for example, I now feel like I can go speak on stage in front of any number of people. Not that I wouldn't have any anxiety about. I'm sure I would. But I know I can do it. Well, that gives me confidence in a way that I never would have had before because I hadn't done anything yet that was courageous or that ultimately connected me to a bigger why.

22:15And so when I made that decision to speak, I developed new capabilities, just like you know that you can run a half marathon or do some kind of challenging sporting event if you really want to. That sets you up differently from mindset perspective to go into the new year as you're setting goals and working to achieve them all year long. I think this really speaks to the real value of goals achievement. It's not about what you accomplish. It's about who you become in the process. Yeah, that's so important. It really is important. And I mean, there's a sense in which the goals are important, of course, but the more important thing is what's happening to your character, what's happening to the information, the information base you have, the skills you have, the habits you've developed, all these capabilities.

23:02That's what's really important because those you can use for a lifetime. Well, and to be honest, I mean, we have been teaching goal achievement for many years now. Now, I couldn't tell you the goals that I set two years ago, five years ago, 10 years ago. I mean, maybe one or two, but mostly they're forgettable. They were important at the time. I either did it or I didn't do it, and then I moved on. However, what I can say for sure, if I look at myself today compared to 10 years ago, I'm a very different person than I was then. I'm far more mature. My character is more developed, et cetera, et cetera.

23:36And that's the result of pursuing challenging and meaningful goals, at least in part. It's a result of that over many years. No, and I've had a front row seat to witness that transformation. And I think that's really the case. And I've watched that in our employees as well, you know, and our friends, people that have gone through your best year ever. You know, it's a transformation. Yeah. Goals are a huge tool to develop your capabilities because by definition, you're doing something you've never done before. That's right. And that's why you never want to stop doing this. This is not like, okay, for this next year, we're going to set a whole bunch of goals and then we won't set any goals anymore.

24:16No, to me, this is why I've been doing this for literally my entire adult life.