I NAPALMED Jail Bully: Chris Booth

33:08Where the fuck's B.V.? Just come down with a pot and a little cup with no noodles in it. He's filled it up with water and got this fucking bowl. They've got their hairnets down on their survey clothes. They've got their collars up. Going, you all right, B.V.? I said, yeah, I'm all right. I said, you all right? Yeah, thinking that I've got a problem with them because I fell out with one of their lads, you know. Gone past the table, so got this. I'm thinking, yeah, I can feel it in my hand. It's hot. It's still... It's still... Out of the tea... They've stopped putting tiurns now in a lot of jails because of the damage that it can cause so quickly.

33:40And then someone's done straight away. I could feel it through the plastic. Because this tiny is so big, he has to sit on the end. Because if he sits amongst other people, when he's eating, he's fucking elbowing him because he's a big fucking unit. Do you know what I mean? So he's sat on the end. So I've walked past him and I've gone there. So tiny, he says, I've got something for you. and he's gone, no, it best be burn or phone cards, dickhead. I've gone, no, we are. So I whapped him with this water. In the face. Straight in his face, man. So then, he's a bastard, man. He deserved it. An all-new season of the Hulu original series, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+.

34:22Four years ago, we were just making TikToks. But it feels like there are no friendships left in MomTalk. You act like you're better than everyone. You're not. I can't trust anyone in this group. She's just dead to me. There's so much the public doesn't know. Watch the new season of the Hulu original series, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects.

34:58And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans. What did his face look like when you threw the water in there? Was his skin dripping off? I didn't see it at first, but I do know afterwards it was a bit like a pork scratching. It was pretty bad. like um he didn't scream at first because i think i know now i mean it's a shock it does that because when the water hit he's like like that did you blind him uh no but he's lost bits of his bits of his ears gone here and stuff like i didn't blind him no no i didn't blind him he kept his eyes he was taped up like a mummy for fucking months afterwards you could just see his eyes but and then he ended up grasping him but that's another story as well and these are all real stories no fucking coronation theory standards um so then because he hasn't screamed i've uppercutted him a few times and then he's ended up on the floor but then i'm still worried because i'm thinking when you took the water and hasn't screamed at first you're thinking was that even hot even though i just felt it in my hand you're questioning yourself was it hot is this geezer indestructible what the fuck has happened so then you've uppercut it he's gone on the floor and at the time I got these shoes on called G-O-A-D shoes good order and discipline so basically you've been fucking about and you've been getting up to a few bits and bobs of chaos in the jail first thing they're going to come for is your trainers because that's your little status thing isn't it in jail so everything else is your jail stuff apart from your trainers you've got jail tracks for your arm jail t-shirt everyone looks the same the only thing that sets you differently is your trainers so then they come for my trainers so fucking about they have these we call them pimp shoes so they're like like a shiny red or brown with a right hard bottom on them where basically you slip everywhere on them um yeah 27 lines in his head where I volleyed him around the table a little bit and then because the staff haven't seen me chuck the up water the first thing that they gotta do they gotta restrain this bastard because he's a big fucker so the first thing they do when they're restraining him when he's on the floor is they wanna get his head because once they've got his head then they can fucking lock everything else up the member of staff has got a leg between his between her two thighs and then when the way she stood up i did see the full full print of his face on the inside of her leg because if you think the trousers are dry and then you chucked whatever like a gooey mess all over his hot mess all over his face and then what happens then is the face sticks to the trousers and then he did um he lost a bit of his lost some something's up into his eardrum and stuff down there lost a little bit of his earlobe there because that's just like a bit of shit skill, ain't it?

37:47Ended up with a big scar down there. And then he ended up grasping me up and getting me an extra two years in jail for the compensation, saying that the jail didn't look after him properly and blah, blah, blah. So shitbag, basically. You know, when you were doing things like that, because, I mean, that's extreme violence, did you ever consider that you may be a psychopath? Or did anybody say to you, you're a psychopath? No, but I'll tell you what they did say when I had my report done. so this is a psychiatric yeah before I went to court for that because there was a few things that happened before that as well but they said I'm not in that category the psychopathic thanks be but what they did say is that how I look at violence might be a little bit different to everybody else I might find it a little bit more acceptable than what other people might you know and then when I spoke about it and they say what's your earliest memories and all that when they're doing the report But one of my earliest memories was being on the front garden in Portsmouth.

38:49I'm getting cheeky to the old lads. A bit Larry Pompey. I was that little blonde-headed cheeky lad. The older lads are walking past and chucking stones at them. You know, I'm being Larry, calling them a dingo and all that type of stuff. One of them chucked a stone at me, smashed my head. My head's pissing my blood everywhere. So I've gone into my dad. Oh, dad, dad, the older lads. They bloody chucked a stone at me. So I can remember my dad at the time, he used to get these big black buckets, with a big yellow sponge, and everyone was washing their cars with them. Massive yellow sponge, I can remember, because it was vivid.

39:21Put it on me, don't worry about it, don't worry about it, they'll be walking past again soon, don't worry. So he's done all that, don't cry, you're going to be all right. Then when they walked past, next time I had to fight one of them on the front lawn. Do you know what I mean? It's just like normal, you know. My mum, she's a hard-faced southerner, like if people are picking on you and out of school then from a young age and they're taking the piss out of you because your dad's in jail then it's alright to have a fight with them you know you're going to visit when they come away from the circus life but still going to visit their travelling friends it'd always be in a lay by or in a field or something somewhere I could always remember saying to my dad fucking hell dad I don't want to go I didn't swear because I'd get a clip down the air for that not a clip I'd get telling off I don't want to go dad I don't want to go, man.

40:08Every time I go there, they want to fight me, man. So you land on site and then because you're living in the house and they're living the way they are, you end up getting, some of them are my best mates now, but you end up getting in fights. It's sort of like sociably acceptable in a way, but not to the point where, you know, I still got an awareness, you know, of feelings and emotions and all that type of stuff. But I think sometimes, you know, just if I would have sat down with that lad, I would have gone, You know what? What you're doing to fucking me there, he's bang out of order. He wanted to ring his fucking mum.

40:44Yeah, you taxed him with all his canteen again and you've doubled him up and you took the piss out of me in the showers. He would have laughed at me. Yeah? So then when I take some badness to his door and what I wanted him to do, there was, out of that dinner, out of 70, 80 lads sat down having food, he probably bullied 20 of them in there. So I wanted them 20 lads to hear him fucking squeal like a pig and the twat that he was. That's the truth of it. Was there any suicides in Borstal or the Young Offenders? There was loads. I'm thinking about the film Scum. No, I do. How? There's some of the shit that fucking stays with me.

41:22You know what I mean? When you're 15 years old, Liam, you know, and I'm not saying, well, it's me and all that, because I put myself there through my choices, my actions, and, you know, I was living that life. Yeah, what sticks with you? Yeah It's the 30 years later What did you see Your door opened And your little mate That he's having Having dinner with The night before Is then In front of you Head a bit bigger Than what it should be You know Because he's been there Overnight Hanging He's pissed and shit himself And he's hanging there And the night before He's having a laugh with him And he was alright Stuff like that That's sort of like What sticks with you And he's Death in general Sticks with me You know Recently so 2023 So then 2023 I had to bury Two of my friends And any other Funerals at that I've been with my friends Have always been in jail So I haven't really Been able to go And say my goodbyes But then when you're there And say One of them Lost his battle Of mental health Great guy Ricky Briffer Amazing lad man Life and soul of the party Old footballer Going for the Wolves firm Just a good lad man And then to see him Lifeless Because he thought That everything was too much and he couldn't control what was going on in his head.

42:37Whatever, we don't know what he's thinking, I'm just presuming that. But he thought it was a good idea to call it a day. Seeing someone there, you know, because I like to go put a cross in their hand and say a prayer, try to get them up to the big man and say, open the door, I know you've got room, do you know what I mean? And then my other friend, Jay, Jay Edge, he was just a jester as well, life and soul of the party. And then addiction got in before you know it. He went back to the old life, got stabbed in the neck, got found dead in a disused bloody hotel in Blackpool. How many stints in jail did you do?

43:11After Young Offenders, did you keep going back to jail? And why did you keep going back to jail? Basically, what it boils down to, Liam, is for an accumulation of two-second decisions, six minutes of two-second decisions, I ended up doing 14 years behind the door. Let's unpack that. It's a two-second decision. You know, all chaos and carnage comes from a two-second decision. And what was the decision? The decision was to go do the robbery. That was the first sentence. But before that, there was an accumulation of two-second decisions that took me there, you know, the people that I surrounded myself with, the choices that I made, you know.

43:46So then the two-second decision was literally, yeah, let's do this. And then not being, oh, let's think about it. Yeah, let's go do this. Then before you know it, we're all dressed in blue. We've all got the same. This is at 15 years old. We've all got the same shoes With the same footprint on them But a size too small We know what time to go to this place Because we know what time it shuts So we're just going to pull the shutter down So it's that far down So 10 minutes before So people come and think Oh they just shut early You know there's a post office in this place We knew we had to cause a bit of chaos very quickly And then calm the situation down You know This is at 15 years old But what is it boiled down to?

44:27Truth of it Too much juice too much New Jack City and too much Venice Society when we were kids and believing believing the dream and the hype you know and then we got locked up and then from that then you sort of end up in jail and then what happens then is you get the understanding pretty quickly that that's the worst they can ever do to you So the big one was when you was older though? Well there's a couple I've got a few fours a four year nine month couple of threes but the thing with me Liam is if I got if I got a four I'm serving the four so I'm not doing a four and getting out two years later I'm getting a four and then you've got two years of extra days that you can get if the governor wants to give them you and generally I used to get them days because I used to like just kick off yeah just didn't like bullies and then the one sentence when I got the four nine for section 18 then went away and then we just spoke about the hot water and sugar and jam so basically I'm due to get released on the Monday the same day I'm due to get sentenced to the shoes of account court so they've released me from jail and I'm free, signed on my discharge papers but then I'm in court at 10 o 'clock I get to court manages, that's where the youngest, obviously I had a little bit of time in a car park with the lady at the time that's where the youngest boy come from went into court and then the judges said, Christopher Booth, you carried on your violent behaviour whilst you were in custody and sent me back for another two years.

46:03So I got released for 12 hours. And then when I did go back, I managed to get into the jail where it happened and then spent four months down the block before they shipped me to a man's jail. Just starved me up straight from there at 20 years old. Says, we're not having it back. You're not having it in the thing, in the unoffending system. You're going to conge jail. Do you think prison made you more dangerous? Or more broken? I'm going to say both, Liam. Maybe more dangerous in the sense where it's not a place where you can show weakness. It's not a place where you can really share your real thoughts and feelings on how you're feeling.

46:45Because then you have to shelve all that. You have to put a mask on. more dangerous in the sense where it does make it colder you know you've got to be hyper vigilant all the time you've got to be ready for a kickoff at the spur of heart especially in young offenders you know that was my introduction and then it carried on but then more broken in the sense that

47:12um don't think should be you know you should have to see some of the stuff that you see in when you're 15 years old. It makes you understand, you very quickly get the understanding on just how shit people are. People can be, not everyone, but just how some people can be. You get a very quick understanding about death and suicide. Was there any other ways people kill themselves other than hanging? Yeah, there's obviously, it's usually hanging, hanging, they like to open themselves up in one way or another, don't they? whether it be their arms or their femorals, yeah. Did you ever test that? Truthfully, I have tried, yeah, before.

47:56I've been in a dark place. Is that in jail or out of jail? Out of jail, I've tried it with pills, potions and pharmaceuticals, but it just so happens that I've got the fucking thingy system of a rhinoceros, so it's pretty hard to fucking wipe me out. Got a good constitution for it. Yeah, well, yeah, it's probably all the years of abuse and then when I put it in me, I did get closer. I had the cardiac arrest, I had the respiratory failure, but I just thought that I had no worth and I thought it'd be a good idea to run a blade through my wrists. So, yeah, I've been in that place, you know. And just to bring it back to the big sentence you got, I don't think we managed to cover that.

48:35You was getting there. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's usually how well. And then you veered off. I think, obviously, you've clearly got ADHD. Yeah, thank you. Yeah. Yeah, nice one. But a lot of criminals do have ADHD. Your jail's full of us. Which is why they've got low impulse control. And they do madness because they don't sit there and think, hang about, there's a consequence to that. So I want to know what the big one was for and what that was like. So the section. That's got to be a big, big chunk of your life that will never leave you. It was four years, nine months, and basically I've done more or less every day of it.

49:08Do you know what I mean? But it's not a big sentence, but at a young age, it's a big chunk of your life. If you're going in when you're 20 and you're getting out when you're 23 and when you go 19, you're getting out when you're 23 and then in the space of that, you've been styled up and you've gone from a younger friend. It's a big chunk of your life where you should be. That's when your brain's still forming, isn't it? Up to the age of 25, it's like a sponge. And after that, whatever your brain's learnt, that's you. So that was a big part of me. And how old were you when you'd done your last stint?

49:41The last day behind the door, how old were you? I think I got out just after my 40th. This will be, this September will be five years. And then I spent nearly four years behind the door, so it's been about 10 years. So the majority of your life has been a history of violence, criminality and jail. And you had little intermittent bits on the outside. So since 1997 to 2022, I spent more time in the system than I did on the outside. So basically people And rightly so they should say it You know because I can understand why But people might say But a big part of your life You were an addict You were addicted to drugs How did addiction creep into all of this madness?

50:28With the money And fucking up on that rule That they say you shouldn't do Don't get high on your own supply That's where the money And then before you know it The money was coming in And I was like We were like Why are they so bothered about being a bit short? So you weren't just robbing drug thieves, you were serving up as well? That's where it started, Liam. Serving up before he was doing the robbing. That's where it all started. Bloody... Oh, I mentioned the names. It's not right for me to mention names. But, you know, in our group of friends, there was... Different dads were into different things.

51:05And one of our friend's dads, he was into the Class A's. in a big way into distributing and all that type of stuff. So from a young age, we didn't look at heroin as a bad thing. We looked at it as that's how we've got a pool table in the front room. That's how our brother's got a nice car. That's how our brother's going on holiday all the time with his dad. We never seen the badness and the merciless of it. All we seen was a nice, but we knew what his dad done, you know. So then from a young age and from 18, 19, we was involved in that murky world. And did you love it? Do you feel it at the time?

51:50That's what I believed I wanted to do. That is what I believed I wanted to do. That's what I believed was going to lead to happiness for me. Is there anything that you've never ever mentioned before that you've done that either you're ashamed of or you've just never said it out loud because you wanted to block it out? Shame's took like a different level with me now. It's like I'm pretty open talking about my wrongdoings. I'm pretty open talking about addiction, about crime, about the shit decisions that I made. If that means me being able to do that and that helping, maybe one person or bringing some awareness and understanding.

52:29But what I do struggle with and what I'm ashamed of is sometimes, not sometimes, when I have to delve into how I might have made other people feel. So how I might have destroyed some relationships that I'll never be able to pull back with family members. How I might have pushed people away when they were trying to pull me in close to try to save me.

53:02and stuff like that. It's when it comes, when over, how it might have had an effect on other people. At the end of the day, I served any sort of consequences. I'd done the jail sentences and all that, but that's me. That's my doing for what I'd done, but I can't really have an effect on anybody else and how they feel about what I'd done. I served the sentence, but maybe they're behind closed doors, still serving shit because of the person, and the awards and the things that I was getting up to. What's the worst? What's the worst thing you think you've ever done? An all-new season of the Hulu Original Series, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+.

53:42Four years ago, we were just making TikToks. But it feels like there are no friendships left in MomTalk. You act like you're better than everyone. You're not. I can't trust anyone in this group. She's just dead to me. There's so much the public doesn't know. Watch the new season of the Hulu Original Series, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects.

54:17And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at chatgpt.com by selecting work mode, available on Plus and Pro plans.

54:38And there's been times when we've had people in like in garages and stuff and we've thought that they might have whatever bits and bobs of product, to pick some bobs of cash and then you'd be working on them for a day, a day and a half and obviously bringing them in water and a snack and that. When you say work on them, do you mean torturing them? Not to the extent that you think, but they'd be worked on. It wasn't taking limbs off and stuff like that. You might rock up with, I don't know, a toffee hammer and some tacks and start doing little mad stuff like that, but nothing. When taking, we weren't maiming people.

55:21I'm not trying to justify it either, but you ask the question, and so I'm going to answer it honestly. So then you find out that they actually haven't got anything, where the information's come from, so you just add them in there for a day and a half for fuck all. And then you've got to send them. They've got to come back to their family members. That's pretty shit, you know, because they never really had anything to do with that life. It's just somebody giving you misinformation. How do you make that back up to somebody that you've done that to? I can't expect their forgiveness, you know, because that's not right.

55:58If they want to do that, that's down to them. But what I can do is I cannot become that person that I was and carry on to try to be a better man and try to carry on to try to give back and try to help people, or not even help, but raise some awareness and understanding. And in that way, that's my apology. My apology is not going back to that person that I was. And somehow in the process of doing that, trying to become a better person. And do you feel like you'll forever be in debt and you'll keep being a better person and giving back? Because your content you put out is relentless, it's a positive message, it's supporting other people.

56:38Thank you. And I think we've spent enough time on the wild side of your life and the shit that you've done that you're not proud of. Can I be honest with you? do you know like I do struggle talking about it sometimes because like what happens is now and I put I want to get I'll get everything out on the table because I don't want to be one of these people that just you know talks about the glitz and the glam and you know just talks about you know the happy endings because that's only fucking half a story well I want to make the shift now I know that we could talk for hours about the stuff that you've done but we've painted a picture that you've lived the fucking like chaotic kind of disastrous life and you've been in and out the system and you've been involved in extreme violence and you've put your hand up and said, I'm responsible.

57:22Sometimes I've got it wrong. I'm not proud of myself and things that you're ashamed of. But let's move on to the good stuff now. So at what point, at what stage did you think, enough, I don't like who I am, I want to become somebody new? And then what steps did you take? And you can kind of roll with this, that epiphany, that moment, that eureka moment where the light bulb just went boom. When I believed that there is such a word called fucking redemption, brother. And when did I believe that? I'll tell you when I believed that. When I knew that I could exchange all these barrels and wheelie bins and shopping bags of sorrows that I had, big rucksack on my back of chaos and drama and fucking hurting people and everything like that.

58:07I could exchange that for joy. And it was like, I can actually do that. Well I actually didn't suss it out Obviously the big man helped me out with that Amen But Really if you've had all this chaos and carnage that's happened in your life You can look at it as badness And you can stay in that place And you can stay in the past But then you can You can change it into joy If you can somehow Help other people not to make that same mistake Or maybe not go down that road Or bring some awareness So instead of being a warning You can be some hope So you can switch up that warning sign And pull down the hope sign That you can give a family member maybe some hope that that person isn't always going to be that way.

58:45Or give somebody that's going through some trials and tribulations some hope that it might not always be that way, you know, because you've actually been there and you've done that. So then what happened is all this stuff that I thought was all my shit stuff, I just had ammunition. It was all good because I could turn it all into good stuff. But then it wasn't necessarily my joy to have because it says, oh, turn your souls into joy. It's scripture, but it won't go too far down. that because I'm not here to be dishing out bibles and stuff like that but it does say I turn your sorrows into joy so I was like all right then but then what happens if you've been double bad and you've got double sorrows because of all the shit that you've caused you've got to go get double joy you say how the fuck do you get double joy Chris well if I can come into somebody's life and I can tell them about the shit stuff that's happened in my life and maybe help them not to make that same two second decision and go down that road then maybe there's a chance it might bring some joy to their lives because they won't make the same mistake and do you know what happens when you see that working like yeah man i was just a part of that so then if you've been double bad you've got to go for double joy you've got to give it away first and see the joy in them for you to receive the joy so then i was like all right then that was the plan then so all this shit i thought was chaos and chaos and carnage actually wasn't it was awareness and understanding Basically ammunition To stick in my rucksack And say right then Let's get on with it You know He has brought I've been Get passionate Right so then I know So then And there's stories to it all But I know I'm a fucking talker Yeah There's been Cardiac arrest Respiratory failure There's been times In my own life There's been times Where drug overdoses There's been All sorts of chaos And carnage along the way Where I shouldn't Just be here Every single time I thought I was lucky But it wasn't.

1:00:37The rope was getting lowered down and he's pulling me out of danger to say, that's not your time now, Chris. I've got a bigger plan for you. But first of all, I want you to be in the trenches a bit first because then you know what it's like in the trenches. Was there a time where you felt like you didn't deserve joy because you've wrecked so many people's lives and hurt so many different people? I still struggle with that now if you speak to any of my people. I still say that now. Like And I still And it's not about Like oh well Some people might say Well yeah That's how it should be And all that But People that are close to me My friends My family My loved ones Will know So you do live with guilt It's the bill ain't it It's the bill you get from crime You know Crime will sell you the story And sell you the front page But then they don't tell you About the bill You're going to pay for it And so that's the bill you pay It's part of it you pay So It's something that's Part of it that you have to live with That's the shit that They don't tell kids They tell you about the supermodel girlfriends.

1:01:35They tell you about you're going to get rich quick. They don't tell you about crying on your bottom bunk. They don't tell you about your paranoia. They don't tell you about the people that you're going to hurt. They don't tell you about the birthdays and Christmases, the bloody people's funerals you're going to miss because you put yourself in jail. That's the bill. That's the bill and the real price of crime. Do you ever feel sorry for yourself? I sometimes feel sorry for the person that I was. but I feel better for the person that I've had to fight to try and become. Because I want to talk about the person that you are now but just to box off who you were and then move on to who you are now.

1:02:13Yeah, sorry, yeah. And that's how we'll end this interview with talking about the good stuff now and the positive impact that you have on society which I've seen. And also, mate, a lot of people that I've had on the show that are from the criminal fraternity, they all speak very highly of you. That's nice to hear. All of them do. They all see the good work that you do and they all know that you're accountable and you don't shy away from the shit that you've done. No bullshit. So before we then end this with some good stuff that you do and that you're going to do and the mental health that you've done and your spirituality, how would you describe the old Chris?

1:02:51The old Chris was somebody that really didn't understand himself, was a people pleaser thought that he really didn't have no worth so he had to say yes to absolutely everything and that was his worth and basically would make make a decision on the on the spin of a coin you know he was very he was very selfish um he was he was full of ego and pride and um probably a bit of well he was a bit of a knob to be around sometimes and he caused a lot of chaos and a lot of carnage. And the thing is, they actually didn't really give a fuck about it. That was the old man. And how would you describe the new Chris?

1:03:32Somebody that's working on not becoming that person and doesn't want to go back to being that person. Do you still battle with that person? Oh, fuck it. Not every day, but I have to battle with that person. You call it a person, I call it the other guy, that fucking the prince of principalities, you know. You get up in the morning, he's over there doing press-ups in the corner. waiting for me to get into my own mind, waiting for me to like somehow have some weakness in my armour so he can come and terrorise me. So then, but I do, I do struggle with it, but I know, not in a sense where I'm going to come back to that person, but it's like when the question, when we go back to, is there anything that you're ashamed of or stuff like that, it's not so much, the shame is a different level now because it's not about me.

1:04:21It's about the other people now and how you feel about how you might have affected them. So it does, it always comes back. But if we go back to them, what that is then is that's the bill, isn't it? That's the bill of crime. So as you get through your - The invoice. Yeah, well, it's kind of the invoice keeps coming. It's a never-ending invoice. There's zero after zero. So how do you live your day-to-day life now? And what gets you through each day? And what gives you the passion to want to pass the baton of strength to other people that aren't quite as strong as you now? or you can see him veering off?

1:04:53Me personally, what I do, I'll get up and I'll practice gratitude every single morning. So I'll say things I'm thankful for. And then along that, I use the two most powerful words in the dictionary that are I am. If you wake up in the morning and say, I'm a bag of shit, I am worthless, I am this, don't know when you get to the end of the day and you feel like that. So why aren't we waking up saying, I am strong, I am courageous, I am powerful, I am loved, I am loving, I am caring, I am a change maker, I am going to make a difference to my life and other people's this morning. Because then what you're doing is, when you use the words I am, there's an exclamation mark at the end of it.

1:05:27Well, what happens if we switch them words up and we change them words from I am to am I? Then the accuser comes down. Am I worthy? Am I loved? Am I loving? Am I strong? Am I bold? Am I courageous? There's a fucking question mark there. That's what a lot of us do. We use it instead of I am, we use am I's. And then, I'm not saying I do it every single morning, but more mornings than that, I send the player up to the big man, you know, and I say, I'll walk my dog, I'll go to gym. I try to give back, try to make sure I touch base with people and just literally just touching base. Are you okay? I'm sure as damned.

1:06:06If I've had, say I got out and I just said I got out and I was 40, if I've had 40 years, we call it in the desert, yeah? So causing chaos and carnage. I'm telling you now, if it gives me another 40 years, it won't be that way. I'll do my damnedest to make sure that if I'm sorry is not good enough, what I would do is I would become that person where my actions speak louder than them words. Is there anyone that still deserves an apology from you or have you done all your apologies? There's always someone. But then what I have to do then is if I feel like sometimes you can't get involved with a sorry rhythm because it might cause them more hurt or root stuff and all that type of stuff.

1:06:46So you've got to be maybe aware of how they might be feeling. But then what I can do is rather than say, I'm sorry, is continue and try to keep fighting to be able to give back and to be that person. Have you ever met any of the people that you've hurt in the past and sat down with them and said, can I explain and I'm sorry and this is why I've done it? Because Kev Lane done that with one of his victims that he tortured. So, yeah, different level of man, isn't he, Kev Lane? but then there was actually restorative justice restorative justice yeah it goes on in the system I was actually did want to do some restorative justice with someone the other day not with one of my victims with a situation that happened I said we need to do some restorative justice with them and you've put together a mental health group for men yeah it's called the breath of life so we create safe spaces for men where there's no judgment no partiality no resentment it's basically like so at a talking circle group of men sit down they haven't done about it you but I've done it myself when we've got shit going on we're revert it back into our granddads or some of the men in our lives if they've been that figure if they've been a positive figure or whatever we think a cup of tea and a bit of fresh air is going to help out yeah a cup of tea is going to help out because we've got 20 sugars in it the fucking air scientifically proving you know you've been out running today I'm out with my dog it doesn't make us feel better but truth of it is it's 2026 the superpower is our thoughts and our feelings but you've got to be able to share them thoughts and feelings feelings at the right table because if you share them at the wrong table they get put in a fucking blackmail folder and someone thinks they've got something over on you because you shared what's going on in your heart and your mind so it's talking circle bit like fight club but instead what goes on at the table stays at the table unless there's any fucking noncy shit which never comes up which would be definitely kicked out safeguarding and whatever's happened but that doesn't happen never um uh safe space where there's no partiality no resentment and it's just a group and men getting together and we got three of those and on Monday Wednesday and Thursday.

1:08:47And is this Telford? Yeah, Telford. That's unloading up there for the Talking Circle. Then we've got something that I'll be going to tomorrow morning once I get home. Get home tonight after doing a podcast review. Saturday morning, we've got something called Forreston Fellowship. So basically, the Talking Circle's going to get a bit deep because believe it or not, fucking men have got some real crazy shit going on in their hearts and their minds and when they realise the vibe at a table at Talking Circle and they realise they can share some stuff that have been carried and when I say there's been obviously I'm not mentioning no names but there's been all sorts of stuff that's happened to us when we were kids you know stuff that you know has happened where you wouldn't think this man works on a building site he's a big barely strong man and you're fucking feeling like that and nobody knows about it bro and you wanted to go and do what to yourself what come on man what are you sure you're okay give you a hug It's alright to cry, man.

1:09:43It's alright to tell a brother that you love him. It's alright to get to hug a brother, you know, and literally Disney hug him till he starts cuddling you. You know when people come to these groups and you're sat around the table and you're spilling your heart out to each other and there's no judgement and there's a lot of understanding. I imagine a lot of people have been through trauma, abuse as kids and it's turned them into the man they are now and the monster they previously were. How do you initiate that? How does the ball get rolling? Do you speak and just say, this is my story? No, so we're sat at a talking circle now.

1:10:13So sit down. I say, there might be some new lads there. I say, lads, this is how we get down here. I say, if you've got a phone, I say, I'd like you to put it on silent unless you're expecting an important phone call. And if you need that, then just don't. I say, why do we put the phones on silent? Because we don't want to disturb someone's share. I say, lads, this is a table. What goes on at this table stays at this table. I say, there's three things you can do. you can have a positive share, you can have a negative share you don't even have to share you can just sit amongst it and know that you're not by yourself so we go around in a circle hence the talking circle what we also do as well is if one person is talking we give him the table that's his table no cross sharing so we have a break at 7 o 'clock so say for instance I rock up and say I've fucked up on the drugs again one of the lads around the table knows someone that might be able to help me out They can then You know Share what's going on If he comes up and goes Chris I might know someone That might need to help you Can I share what you said And try to get you some help Yeah Obviously he goes No judgement No partiality No resentment What else And then generally I go Is there anybody Who wants to start tonight Somebody will go Put their hand up And before you know it Energy's flowing Talking circle It's done You know I like the fact There's no cross talking Yeah man Because that can be like You're down the pub You give them the space They've got the space The cross sharing Is like That's what the break's for You know You get a break Some people smoke Some people vape Some people want to You know Whatever They'll get a break At 7 o 'clock Once from 7 to 8 Sometimes it goes on To laugh 8 Sometimes it goes on To quarter to 9 There's always a break At 7 o 'clock Sometimes If you've got a table What I do have to say Sometimes as well If you've got a table And there's 20 men around there Then you have to go Lads just to let you know there's quite a lot of us here tonight we're only here for a couple of hours so we have got other talking circles that are here as well so basically we want you to share but we don't want everyone to share for an hour because then what we've got then we've got other talking circles and then we've got to break it off just so everyone gets their time and what we say is as well say your cousin and yourself you have a positive share and it gets around to me I've just heard your two shares and I'm like fuck me man I didn't want to share I've got nothing positive.

1:12:35I've come to share some dark shit, what's been going on in my mind, or just stuff that's been getting on in my heart and my mind. We say, don't let the shares before you influence your share. Whatever you've come to share, whatever reason you are here, whether it be positive, whether it be negative, or whether you're here just to be amongst the lads and just know that you're not by yourself. Make sure you keep that person at the table. And literally, like, then we have some events where we'll bring all the families together. so then the women or the other people in the men's lives can see the men that they've got around them and why they might have switched it up a little bit.

1:13:11And there's nothing nicer than when you're there. Someone might have their kids and their kids and they come and go, yeah, since Dad's been coming to Breath of Life stuff, he seems to put his music on on Saturday morning. He's dancing around the kitchen. He's having a laugh and that with us. Or the girlfriend or the wife might come up and go, You know what I didn't realise How much he needed These spaces You know It's actually Back to the man That I exchanged vows with You know That's because we created That space It's not just Talking circles either We got like Tomorrow morning I'll get back to You know what I'm like We've got Forest and Fellowship Basically What's it called A what fellowship Forest and Fellowship Forest and Fellowship So the talking circles Can get quite deep Because we're talking Emotions and feelings And hearts and minds An all new season Of the Hulu original series The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+.

1:14:07Four years ago, we were just making TikToks. But it feels like there are no friendships left in mom talk. You act like you're better than everyone. You're not. I can't trust anyone in this group. She's just dead to me. There's so much the public doesn't know. Watch the new season of the Hulu original series, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+. For bundle subscribers, terms apply. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects.

1:14:42And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode, available on Plus and Pro Plans. So a brotherhood is built where relationships and friendships are built on all different levels, not just sharing that. When you're sharing at a table, like for instance, if I shared something with you, you know, about whatever is when I was young and all that type of stuff, you just straight away because I've shared that with you. You think, you wouldn't think it, but it brings you closer because you shared that.

1:15:22But then you can't just have it all that way. You need to create a space where you can go and maybe have a bit of a laugh and a giggle about the dickheads that you might have been before, yeah, and the shit you was getting up to. So we've got something called Forest and Fellowship. We've got a quarter-mile stretch of the river down in Iron Bridge. It's been gifted, not gifted, the whole bit. We can use it whenever we want. Active charity. Gone down there. War in Fire, baking sandwiches, sausage sandwiches. Sometimes the lads been steaks, chops, whatever. Cook all them up. Coffees, teas. and we have a bit of a laugh from about seven to about half eight why is it called the breath of life it's called the breath of life because we say let the words that leave your mouth give life and not death yeah what creates some words the breath that the breath that you put to the words create some words so what do we want the men that come to our group to do we want them to go to their gym space to their workspace back to their families but if they're walking a dog whatever they're doing with that breath of life in them so that's why we do stuff early in the mornings on the weekend because it gives them that start to the weekend that's why we have a talking circle on a monday after the weekend that's why we have a talking circle on a thursday just before the weekend and we try to get into all them little red flaggy areas to make sure there's stuff going on we have stages in the summer where we might go on a mad one go do some waterfalls together you know we might go axe throwing we might go shooting and you know do some shooting with some shotguns we might go down the river on some canoes I bet there's a few people that think fuck me Chris with a gun yeah well I obviously I sign in a different name sign a disclaimer in a different name but go on just because I am passionate about the rest of life I've got one more question for you and I know it's probably the most important question for you okay in the rest of life we've got all walks of people we've got people that are bidding the system, people that are still in the system, people that don't work, people that do work.

1:17:18We've got business owners, we've got vicars, we've got ground workers. Every bloody aspect of man. And I'll tell you why it all works, because we're all together, we're there for the same common fucking medium. And that being, they want to be there for another borough. And better yourselves. And that's how you do it. Everybody says, oh, they're all nuts and bolts. But I'll tell you what, if you try to put that shelf up with just a bolt, you ain't going to get nowhere. if you try to put that fucking that one that shelf over there just to screw you ain't gonna get nowhere put the two things together and you can put the fucking shelf up it fixes things bring all the nuts and bolts together and before you know it you start fucking fixing a few situations because they realise they're not by themselves well let's end this with the man well that's if he is a man I don't wanna I don't wanna make this day and age he may wanna identify as a woman no he definitely doesn't so you know what I'm talking about But tell me how important God is in your life and what he's done for you.

1:18:15So God is an absolutely massive part of my life. I try to keep God centre all the time. But I'm not saying that I fucking behave all the time either. You know, it says in Scripture, we all fall short of the glory of God. Thank you. I'm able to fuck up every now and then. But 100%, I believe, and I felt it. And I'm not saying he come down and, oh, do you know what, Chris, this is the plan and this is what we're getting up to. and he had a big white beard and come down on a chariot with 20 fucking horses and all that and with a big white light behind him. I just felt his word. I felt it and I know, you know.

1:18:48There has been things that's happened. It's like out there on a windy day, you can see the fucking trees going like that. You know what's doing it, the wind, but you can't see the fucking wind, can you? We can't see it, just like you can't see Jesus, but you just know he's there for me. Is that kind of your invisible security blanket? Is he the man that keeps you on the right path? If you lost God, do you feel like you'd lose yourself? If I do things by my own will, there's only one outcome, and that would be fucking chaos and carnage. So I think when I try to do things by God's will, and like I said, we all fall short of the glory of God.

1:19:23So like we're saying I'm walking around being squeaky clean and all the rest of it, I believe you get two types of godly men. You get the godly men that have to keep everybody behaving, you know and make sure everybody goes to school and make sure that them people in society are doing their things to society because we need them you know we need for the structure of project mankind god's project we need them people but then what happens for the people that have fell amongst shallow soil have fell amongst the thorns have been down in the trenches are them same men going to be able to help them people no so then what you need is you need a godly warrior And what is a godly warrior?

1:20:02A godly warrior is someone that's been down in them trenches Knows all the little fucking hiding places Knows the lefts and the rights And when God's brought you up out of that trench You don't just dust off and go fuck everybody else Yes, he got me out, man Thank you, Lord I'm so thankful No, there's still people down there, man Loads of people down in them trenches So you need to put the full armour of God on And you put it on And you go down there and you get the people out. And I believe that's my purpose. It says in scripture, without a vision, the people will perish. Yeah? So if you've got no purpose, you're going to fucking perish.

1:20:41What's the opposite to that? It's self-destruct. I know all about that. So now I've got a vision and I've got a purpose and my vision is to give back and my purpose is if I have to give all of me to be able to give back, then that's what I will do. Because I'll give all of me to the devil and look what he caused me. I was fucking lucky To still be here You know And it also says You know Be bold Be courageous I stand by that Sometimes shit gets unpeaceful And is really Is it going to be the godly men That sort it out Or is it going to be the godly warriors If they come together The godly men can look after that side It's still the same word It's still the same truth But then the godly warriors go to work You know That's why Change his fingers for battle and these hands for war.

1:21:28You know, that's why we've got God's armour. Not why, but that's the way I like to do it. I do think Christianity needs to become more muscular, as Bob of Speaker's Corner would describe it, without a doubt. What we've done is now, we've ended this with who you are and what you do today. I think that's a nice teaser for the audience, the way that you talk about motivation, building men up, improving yourself, how spirituality and faith is a massive part of your life. And this is the content that you pump out regularly on your social media and you get nice DMs from people saying that you saved their life and you've helped them and you've improved the quality of their life.

1:22:07So we'll stop there. They've had their taster of what you deliver. So tell people that are watching and listening where they can find you. So from this interview, they can go and find you and they can keep following your journey. So that'd be nojudgment81 on their Instagram, ChrisBoothNoJudgment81 on my TikTok. And it's real life, real consequences with real change. There's no bullshit. I will put Chris's links in the description. Like and subscribe to the channel, please. And if anyone out there is struggling or they don't like the person they are, we're all human. We all have these days. And there's always somebody that you can follow and reach out to.

1:22:47and I appreciate you coming here, sharing that and being so open and ruthless with it, mate. Oh, yeah. Thank you for having me on there. I'm a great guy and hopefully we get through to that one person. Yeah, good health, brother. Cheers, mate. Bye, son.

1:23:09Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun. An army hung on her every word. My champions, I have sold my chariot on Carvana. It was a lovely SUV, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it. Tonight, we feast. An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up fees, man. Bye. Starting a business can seem like a daunting task, unless you have a partner like Shopify. They have the tools you need to start and grow your business. From designing a website, to marketing, to selling, and beyond, Shopify can help with everything you need. There's a reason millions of companies like Mattel, Heinz, and Allbirds continue to trust and use them.

1:23:57With Shopify on your side, turn your big business idea into... Sign up for your$1 per month trial at shopify.com slash special offer.