247. Rizzing On Sidemen Shoots, AB Joining Bov Boys & Chips Worst Trait...

6:21Chip:where I did it? This is how I know.

6:23Cal:Unless there's a video of it right now, bro. Your max is seven.

6:26Chip:This is how I know the, I mean, you can bell them up right now if you want. I did it. 4 a.m. Bazinga afters. Atlas afters, bro. And remember, on his balcony, he used to have a pull-up bar.

6:38Cal:Can't be fucking what? Doing all that kind of shit. What do you think it counts after 4am? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. That's how I knew I was just in a different zone. I know you had lots of extra strength from somewhere, bro. Yeah. Back in the day, like what? In your prime? Magic dust.

6:55Chip:Whoa! Whoa, we are not fucking without Stan. Huh?

7:00Cal:How old are you?

7:00Chip:17, bro. You can't be talking about that. I don't know what a drug is. You don't know what a drug is?

7:06Cal:I fucking hope so, man.

7:08Chip:Lots of good drugs in this world as well. What the fuck?

7:12Cal:What the hell is that?

7:14Chip:What the hell was that? That was weird. Resident Slug. The ghost of AB just appeared. Yeah, shit. What's he even doing? Yeah. Let's play a game. I want to play a game with you.

7:24Cal:Oh, he's got himself a little drinky poo. Yeah, he's...

7:29Chip:No, do you want to know what it is? He literally, he rocked up to the studio today. He was supposed to be on the pod today and he said so are you lot paying me for this or what and we obviously said nah I thought it was just like a friend to friend thing and he's kicked off and so he's refused to do the pod he's put a hole

7:46Cal:in the wall and everything and starts shouting screaming like you know when you're screaming and holding your pillow like fucking hate me mum yeah he started biting his own nuffles all that then he started he got so hysterical he started praying to god like oh please make my day better

8:05Cal:nah he did waffling as a third host. Fucking little snake behavior.

8:09Chip:Nah, don't worry, bro. I crashed that shit just to make sure that they knew. I had eyes on that at all times. Yeah. Yeah, I took notes on the whole pod as well. I've already asked them to blur AB's face for the entire thing.

8:18Cal:No, that's fair enough.

8:19Chip:I don't want any extra pieces going that way.

8:22Cal:Well, look, anyway. Let's talk about drugs. No, not about that. I want to talk, well, someone that is doing drugs probably, allegedly. I'd be for final boss. Oh, my. This guy. Well, first of all, can we say this pod,

8:34Chip:this pod's going out in three weeks. Right. So just understand.

8:37Cal:Okay. can keep it short if you want. Yeah. All right. But his name's Jack, isn't it? I personally wanted to get him on the pod. He's already, he's already jumped on a private jet and everything.

8:47Chip:Have you seen his comment section? It's filled with the top DJs in the world. All saying like, bigging him up and they're all flying him out to his shows, to their shows. You know what? We should definitely have tried to get him on the pod. What are we doing?

9:02Cal:They're all clout chasers. And so we, We're one of them This guy gets a little bit of fame We're trying to jump on the way Hey Jack Come on man I love Ibiza You're such a cool final boss Come and sit on the pod We'll be

9:17Cal:He's already signed up to a talent agency

9:20Chip:He's signed to a talent agency And it's the same talent agency That has Joey Essex Oh fair Okay okay Respect That's from a Joey Essex

9:31Cal:The annoying thing is Nevertheless less. I mean, remember Alex from Glastow? The same as that. What they'll do here is they'll whack on a load of pods, get a load of brand deals. Yeah. I mean, I hope he makes a good fucking bag because everyone's had a good life.

9:45Chip:I promise you, see guys like that, they make like, I don't know, 30, 40 grand doing all this and they all just get spunked on another big weekend during Ibiza.

9:55Cal:Whoa, whoa, Stan, what the fuck's going on here?

9:57Chip:This is all the, oh, it's Adam

9:58Cal:Collard as well. Oh, right. Didn't need to see this, mate. What do you mean? You know, AB's going through a lot.

10:07Chip:Don't pull up that, bro. This is not... What you've done there, just give free advertising to a bunch of people. Yeah, you've showed off

10:13Cal:a bunch of ladies.

10:16Chip:And bloke. What?

10:19Cal:What's that?

10:19Chip:We're getting audience churped right now, bro.

10:21Cal:Yeah, got this guy fucking piping up with our mic. You've got something to say, bro. You know what to say.

10:27Chip:Nah, he's refusing to. He says that comes at an extra cost.

10:30Cal:You know what, by the way, just to know, he's going into the title and the form just because of that one little crawl he made I'm using him okay let's do this AB crashes AB crashes out

10:42Chip:AB crashes out yeah yeah look at him getting on the private jet man yeah yeah that's kind of crazy to be fair good for him I love stories like this I know he's going to end up in prison or something but no he's from Newcastle isn't he go so supposedly what he's done is obviously he's gone viral here he's flown back to newcastle yep get his trim read up yep right and everything nice shaped up and stuff and then he's flown

11:13Cal:straight back out to ibiza for these shows i gotta rate he knows what he's doing yeah i really rate

11:18Chip:that because he not like he's not one of those like oh i'm embarrassed or whatever full on he chasing a bag. He is the UK's answer to what? To Hawk Tour. Yeah, this is it.

11:31Cal:We've got our own little Hawk Tour right now. I wonder if he will spit on it. Right. What's he doing? Where you going? I'm just getting a little bad. Oh, he's getting a little real busy. Yeah, so like, have you seen his beard though? I just can't understand the beard. Is it tattooed on? Is it a transplanted beard? I'm not sure because look at it. It looks like it's been drawn on by a biro. Not being, not trying to, like even be offensive it does look like it's been drawn on or tattooed I reckon he has some sort of transplant I mean or maybe it's just been died maybe yeah

12:01Chip:it does look died to me to be honest with you bro but I'm happy for this guy look at him he's owning it he's doing his thing yeah that thing is so sharp like let's not fuck around I honestly

12:15Cal:I honestly reckon like a lot of people are gonna get this and go is this guy for Halloween and shit

12:22Chip:oh yeah that would be a funny idea it's closed to October as well definitely short back and battle of Hayes

12:28Cal:yeah

12:28Chip:short back and battle of Hayes do you just want to kill nah stop man I don't want him on there I feel so many Zingers

12:36Cal:yeah maybe he sat behind the we at least give him a mic I'm in the lies and I say Zingers no no no we don't want that shit man

12:42Chip:should have just had you doing the producing to be fair oh shit yeah

12:46Cal:cause Stan like still using me the titles Stan's like

12:48Chip:no we need Stan man Stan just got an energy about him Everyone in the comments are always saying like, are saying like, oh, Stanley Topless.

12:55Cal:I watched Ratatouille last night. Why is that? You're giving me Remy energy.

13:00Chip:Really? Yeah. What control and the pace.

13:02Cal:You genuinely are the main character.

13:05Chip:Don't say, what the guy that everyone says I look like.

13:08Cal:Linguini, yeah. Linguini, that's her type of pastor. I think that's his name though in the thing.

13:13Chip:Oh, is it?

13:13Cal:Yeah. Is it Linguini? Talking to a bunch of amateurs there, guys. Come on, start watching cartoons again. Alfredo Linguini. I wasn't really a Rattie fan I was a Cars kind of kid Yeah Cars is the best though isn't it Anyway let's What do you want to talk about

13:29Chip:There's a quiz that I feel like we've done so many positives It's because you're going on holiday Are you looking forward to your Mykonos trip with Vic

13:38Cal:I actually am It should be a nice little movie What you got planned for it Vic's got like an itinerary for it

13:45Chip:That means you have an itinerary By the time this comes out you'll be back

13:49Cal:yeah I don't mind even doing that but I've let me try and find it see the thing is we're using telegram are you fucking serious nah we're on telegram for this big 30 wait why are you on telegram for this it's just one of them ones that needs to be what sort of party is this this needs to be a little bit is this a little you mean you're mal jobby it just needs to be a

14:08Chip:little bit more you got a few a bit more chill yeah if you're going on telegram that's the opposite of chill there's only one reason you get on telegram a lot of australians come in and uh

14:19Cal:they don't use telegram fuck off australians do not use what that is apparently what vick has told me and i'm just believing it that's a lie there's no way that everyone's optionally on telegram right that is a criminal underworld gang you are being introduced to to join the holiday group chat i don't believe that for a second yeah i've never heard of this before i know we ain't going Scorpios for one that's one thing we're not doing I was told we weren't going there because they don't like it I've never been so I don't really know what it is we're going to a place

14:53Chip:you know what that's like what that's like going to Barcelona and saying nah I don't even want to go to the new camp let's just go watch some Sunday League that's what that that's the main spot that's the spot you go to

15:08Cal:look I won't hesitate to just like detach I shouldn't just end up there if I need to be.

15:13Chip:You're going to need to be.

15:15Cal:Principate, what's that? Brilliant spot. We're going there. Top, top spot. We're going there. We've got boat day as well.

15:21Chip:Yeah, show me a picture of the yacht. Just want to check how many rooms there are, how many staff and crew you've got on board. I don't know if I have a picture of the yacht.

15:27Cal:I've got the place we're staying at. It's fair play to Vic because it's going to be the best place I think I've ever stayed at.

15:34Chip:I've seen the pictures. It's all right. It looks pretty crazy.

15:36Cal:There's a little helipad and shit.

15:37Chip:Yeah, no helicopter. What's the point?

15:38Cal:No, but I'm landing in on. that's how I'm getting there.

15:41Chip:No, you're not. It's too windy, trust me. You're absolutely braided. Of course I'm not.

15:44Cal:I would actually rather die than getting out of the hotel. Is it for a video? What's it for? It's just for his birthday, a little birthday holiday with his Aussie mates. Oh, nice. With his Aussie mates and his favourite clanker.

15:54Chip:What? Me, the little wireback. No, a little tin skin. Tin skin is crazy, bro. That does sound really a little mental. Yeah. This next one, really. Oh, wait. Yeah, so Stanley, by the way, He sat home last night, writing out a bunch of his favorite words. No, you told me you sat home and just, just thought up of the most hateful things to call AI or robots. Yeah.

16:20Cal:Wireback. Wireback. Wireback is pretty.

16:26Chip:That's,

16:26Cal:that's pretty solid.

16:27Chip:I like that one. I think if a robot got called that, it might, it might giggle away. What about bolt muncher? Oh, that's, that's,

16:34Cal:that's a good one. Bolt muncher. Oil drinker? Nah, I'm more on this one. Copper blood. Copper blood's a big one. Fucking copper bloods.

16:44Chip:You fucking little.

16:45Cal:As if you swear in front of it, it starts to get real. It seems too charged. Yeah, it does. That's what you said. You're jumping on my shit. Yeah, you know.

16:53Chip:You know, here's another original. Wait, I've just seen the one. Nah, you can't have that. You cannot have that. Stanley did say there was a red flag in here and that's it. We're not going to say that one. That's crazy.

17:05Cal:That is.

17:07Chip:The old plug and cord. I like that one. Yeah. No, that's too long,

17:11Cal:bro. I'm not going to walk over like, Oh, yo, plug and cord. What a little code junkie. Shockey. Nah. Shockey is no good. That actually sounds like a nice nickname. Like, Hey, what's up, Jackie?

17:23Chip:When I come in this spring neck is a good one.

17:27Cal:That reminds me of you a bit. Why? You know, I got this fucking spring on it. Yeah. You can stretch a spring. You got that stretch neck.

17:36Chip:No, I don't even get that. It's not even that. I don't punch it. Cold junkie.

17:42Cal:That one sounds a bit crazy.

17:45Chip:Yeah, we are not going to be running that one because I promise you, you're one hard cut away from getting it done. Buckethead. Okay, wait, hold on a second. Top five clankers blind rank.

18:00Cal:Yeah, I'm lots of... How does this work then?

18:02Chip:So you're going to give us... I'm going to give you five clankers.

18:05Cal:Yeah.

18:05Chip:and you've got okay five copper bloods yeah you got a ranker throughout all right i love this podcast so much so first one yeah is optimus prime he's like goat level shit right that's

18:25Cal:that's like probably like that two i don't really see anybody beating him that might be a number one bro let's stick in one yeah let's stick in one because we always leave space for two but let me just say Optimus Prime like Linkin Park like them fucking outros like shit bro I was gas also that was like one of my first like mega goon sessions of Transformer 1.

18:43Chip:Five quid that's it bro we did so well how long did we get? That was only 25 minutes. 25 minutes so good.

18:49Cal:In that orange top yeah slightly cut at the waist with the jeans leaning over the car she's trying to fix the classic oh my dad taught me needs a new carbonator no you know what you need.

19:05Cal:you need a ring on it love yeah I would have said yeah nice nice nice yeah what were you what were you guys thinking alright go on what you got fucking someone holding a little zinger right the next one

19:20Chip:give me the blind rank man the next one stop interacting with the crowd it's hard it's hard not to the audience the next one is Terminator shit that's two

19:31Cal:that's two it's got me number two because I fucking We're off to a great start. Which Terminator though? Just the original. G-O-G. Arnold Schwartz. You're going to have to start dropping the models of them, bro. The original one, the first. Software update 4.2. I know which one you mean. That'll do me. Number two. Number two. Next one. Ultron. I'm going to keep it honest with you.

19:54Chip:I didn't fuck with him that much. Also like... I don't watch cartoons. I don't know about this one.

19:58Cal:This one in a cartoon is from Avengers Age of Ultron.

20:02Chip:Yeah. cartoon level shit

20:04Cal:it's it wasn't I didn't enjoy that in Menager's movie that much really also like he was just a bit fucked wasn't it he had a look at the internet and went yeah I'm gonna kill everyone he saw our shit and went yeah these guys are fucked that's the plot of that film I actually I'll I'm happy to go for I don't know about this guy he's not on my radar there's gonna be someone worse so I'm wrecking for next one Tars from Interstellar oh shit he was like a one for me you know Taz is good but he was also a little bit useless but also like still the people above him Taz Optimus Prime and Terminator yeah Taz is good though Taz is three solid three three three we fucking smashed it haven't we yeah

20:47Chip:we actually have I don't know I think you're gonna be upset you're not gonna be upset last one is R2-D2 fuck oh shit now R2-D2's a go

20:56Cal:oh shit man I'm gonna go like

20:58Chip:R2-D2 would be one for me yeah

21:00Cal:I think he'd be one for me as well He'd be one for me.

21:02Chip:We stiffed R2 Hoon 2.

21:04Cal:He was a legend, man. Thank you for being so nice about this whole thing.

21:08Chip:I'm actually going to go on a Star Wars binge. I'm going to watch them all. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No way. Seriously. What have you done with Karen? Why? Why? Well, I love R2-D2. My favorite Star Wars, right, is the one where they race the pods. The first. Phantom Menace. Sick. No, it's not the first one. Well, it's episode one. It's the fourth movie.

21:29Cal:It's the first episode. Yeah, that one. shit I love that as well I used to play the game Podracer

21:36Chip:the Lego one was tough is it Ready Player One that gave me vibes of that

21:40Cal:you know well Ready Player One

21:42Chip:the movie they're making another one

21:44Cal:Ready Player Two

21:45Chip:no but for real oh wait that's how you know they're calling it yeah sound I'm glad these are getting paid billions to come up with shite like that there's a book innit

21:53Cal:and they're adapting the book into the movie I don't know if the book is called Ready Player Two but either way I actually loved that movie

21:59Chip:yeah it was good it was just like a little bit

22:02Cal:of a nostalgia kind of movie wasn't it because everyone just kept popping up from like Iron Giant and shit Predator

22:09Chip:the thing is we don't want to talk too much about what's happening in the world because you see in three weeks time everyone's going to go how are you not commenting on this and we're going to be like because we're from the past this is the last one this is the last episode before we're back on yeah ideally we wanted a guest on this ep actually didn't we

22:27Cal:well one seems to have sat there for 30 minutes he just sat off fucking camera

22:32Chip:yeah because he straight up refused bro shock it literally just absolutely kicked off the moment can't believe it

22:38Cal:you know what that's a weird way to protest

22:40Chip:surely you just text us and you say ah by the way lads any chance of a bit of cash for doing this you know what it is instead he's rocked up

22:47Cal:and then kicked off that's weird behaviour you give a man the world and he shits in his hands and claps

22:53Chip:I'm like 90 % sure that's not the same

22:56Cal:well there's 10 % of you that believes it

22:59Chip:You know what I mean Alright so give me another Give me another saying that works With the right What'd you call it With the right sentiment Same sentiment I just need a different saying

23:11Cal:So give the man the world And shits in his hands and claps So you want a different Whole different thing Sure A man can find treasure And still fucking jump off a cliff

23:26Chip:Nah that's worse than the first one I think

23:32Cal:a man of find a Swedish nanny and still wank himself to death

23:38Chip:yes

23:42Chip:that is that is it bro that is it that right there explains so much with like

23:53Cal:what did she say don't know I've got that thing on when you text client go up to right now yeah what you on bro just just podcasting and killing gemstone crap

24:04Chip:you're addicted to this you know it's not on the way up it's like a little afk thing you know

24:09Cal:it's not though because you're always on it yeah but i'm not i can not have to touch this now for another five ten minutes so i need to touch it again do we chat about what we did yesterday

24:18Chip:what did we do yesterday yeah will it be out then will it be out i think it'll be out by then yeah all right even if not we still chat about it people still want to watch the vlog yeah we went up to um like a horse racing training ground oh yeah we like calfreeze's home yes anyways right what we did was we went to see them about how they train racehorses and they actually live better lives than you and me both that is true they're pampered up there they are and we mucked out that's what they call it mucked out long story short shoveling up fucking grub Shoveled shit And it cleared it With different shots But then there was These things called Bobcats And we raced

24:58Cal:Wait Forgot they had you On a horse treadmill

25:01Chip:On a horse Yeah they put me On a horse treadmill No it was funny They went Alright who wants Sorry no they went Oh we've got a horse treadmill Cal do you want to go on So funny as well

25:10Cal:When the workers Started crowding around And started like Shouting in front of money Like how much for that one Fuck it was mental It was like an auction

25:22Chip:I don't remember that bit bro it's because they tranquilize you yeah well they gave me some cat

25:28Cal:cat yours bro perfect time for cat mine

25:34Chip:anyways so yeah we went up there what else did we do oh yeah the thing Chip was was it this podcast we were talking about with the fitness stuff yeah what where you almost passed out after doing the assault yeah

25:45Cal:did we talk about them

25:46Chip:yeah

25:48Cal:oh mate that salt back shit is mad you actually went like sheet white afterwards I've never really done one of them before and I was just like whoa that's intense because you do have to just push don't you they've made an

26:01Chip:entire like rehabilitation center for jockeys because long story short these men just get fucked up anytime they come off a horse they're breaking something what was that kid in there for the guy doing the rehab yeah he broke his leg in like two different places and he was there getting rehabbed jockeys don't get paid a lot do they? no average pay of a jockey of like a decent jockey the chap that we were hanging around with Darryl he's a bit of a goat though

26:26Cal:yes he probably got paid a good little wedge

26:28Chip:and to be fair he was rocking a nice little Audi whip as well

26:33Cal:wow the average income was 20 grand and does that have to be the full time job?

26:38Chip:oh no the gross annual income is 27 27 G's yeah

26:42Cal:for 290 rides a year

26:44Chip:yeah if you get fucking injured though once it's mad isn't it

26:48Cal:It's crazy. What? Fuck you. You've got to just love it. It's got to be for the love of the game. That is not good. Yeah. Returns. You know, you want to, you want like a gold cup and stuff.

26:58Chip:Yeah. He's, I'm telling you, Daryl Jacob, he's, he's, he's a top boy, man. So anyways, yeah, that was a pretty cool experience.

27:06Cal:Zoom in, zoom in. So I can see like his, Oh yeah. Total earnings 1.8. Yeah. But is that for like the horse or him?

27:13Chip:No, that's right. That's the last five years. That'll be for him. Wow. go on Daryl

27:18Cal:old boy

27:20Chip:yeah and then the tax man comes wipes out 50 % of that now what? still now you open a fucking new corporation

27:28Cal:in Delaware or some shit yeah

27:31Chip:you know what I'd do if I was Daryl I'd be betting betting on myself or whatever actually that's illegal yeah yeah

27:38Cal:nah that's nice bro well done for that

27:41Chip:people get done for that well betting I need to find a new form of gambling well I have You already have your cards. All you do is that. I'm worried that the dopamine's drying up, though.

27:51Cal:What's next? What could be, like, something next we can get into that's fun and we can lose money on?

27:58Chip:I don't know. I need a new hobby, though. One where genuinely I feel... Because the good thing about collecting sports cards is you can convince yourself that you're actually buying value, like valuable cards. This is the final step before heroin, I think. We've got to be close. Yeah.

28:15Cal:We're getting there, pal.

28:16Chip:We are We're knocking on heaven's door Knocking on heroin's door What's that? I said the next set She's going to be in alleyway You boys Oh yeah Have you figured out What we're doing with the set? You know what we're doing I know what I'm doing So is it actually Just going to be a surprise for me? Fuck it yeah Why not That'll be funny I swear to god If it's shit It won't be shit bro Nah it's good Because if it is shit

28:36Cal:Then I'll literally

28:37Chip:I will Nah I don't want no BG noises

28:41Cal:Bro that's something That would be added In post anyway

28:43Chip:Yeah okay I don't want a little speaker in the back going like making noises

28:47Cal:well I never said anything

28:49Chip:I had an idea I wanted to be like June 2 themed

28:52Cal:yeah it's not gonna fucking happen bro because I don't think I could stare at a desert for another two years

28:58Chip:well we stare at Stanley not a desert

28:59Cal:no because we'll be in it we'll be staring at desert won't we

29:02Chip:right I've never seen it maybe that's how we get Timothy Shalamassi on ooh well and just say hey hey we made a set

29:09Cal:I genuinely think there is an idea in building like film themed sets let the film company like Universal will pay for or whoever's you know running it they pay for a film theme set we design it for them yeah i.e. a June one and then Chalamet jumps in and we do this June theme podcast but it's also a normal pod at the same time

29:28Chip:oh what like one off or like big specials for big specials

29:31Cal:for big movies yeah

29:33Chip:so we'd be there like yo we need 40 grand to build the set

29:36Cal:yeah you'd put secrets in there as well so fans get fucking buzzing you build it on part of like something that maybe they're not meant to see yo start note this shit down right now like if it's a new Spider-Man movie you build the set based around the final scene, final boss battle scene, or a little bit of an area like it. You hide the Easter eggs in the set. Fuck. Am I just fucking... Have you just done that? Am I just done that to fucking dive? And it's not expensive as well. We can do that for... Well, obviously my fee and your fee is going to be costing a lot. If you want me to be designing that, then yeah.

30:08Cal:But for us, I'll make that shit for a fiver.

30:12Chip:What? So you're going to do the nuts and bolts? I'll get my dad to do it

30:17Cal:it makes boilers and shit who's the biggest TikToker right now? nice Ed Matthews Ed Matty no it's not it might be he sat over there crying when he said him

30:33Chip:nah it's not AB anymore AB has moved past TikTok now

30:38Cal:yeah he actually has which is sad to me because I hate it when

30:42Chip:everybody knows that's the beginning of the end

30:43Cal:I hate it when creators leave behind their

30:45Chip:original platforms you should never do that it's the biggest mistake you can make in the world

30:49Cal:yeah oh god like when I left behind MySpace I was like I don't know if I'm gonna make it but luckily it was a bit of a one-off I was actually called the burn ship on Bebo and MySpace bro my background was like fucking fuck bro I was actually right

31:07Chip:no no no I want UK you need to I used to have like

31:10Cal:the Halo 3 logo it's my profile pic and I was just friends everyone from school so they must have seen my profile what the fuck no it wasn't Billie Eilish isn't even from the UK it wasn't like my fucking I had pics on my background was like Godzilla and shit

31:27Chip:alright like why is there being a carpenter in there so all that Paul and Morgan have to be

31:34Cal:Paul and Morgan are cooking should we get them on the pod bro yes yes we should they're they're yeah they're like I actually really like watching their stuff I've been watching their YouTube videos they did one recent where they went on holiday was like staying at a caravan park and I was just like this is therapeutic it's anything so I put some spa sounds on Paul was talking Malcolm was talking baby was yapping a little bit he's got a baby don't he yeah

32:00Chip:I guess they do

32:01Cal:it's good content enjoyed it

32:03Chip:I hear that bro I was thinking about just wrapping this whole thing up bro

32:09Cal:with a pod in life or life

32:11Chip:just the fellas pod man no I got an idea I want to launch I want to launch a new pod I want to start fresh

32:18Cal:do you reckon we could get a massive massive bag if we went to like fucking Marvel and said hey look we're gonna do another season of fellas we'll just have the whole fucking set Marvel themed we'll do it as Tony Stark's fucking lair or whoever Doctor Doom's lair yeah would you take a fat bag for that of course I love Marvel you know I've been

32:40Chip:I've been digging Marvel for a while now come on bro

32:44Cal:you actually have last night he texted me saying you watched a new animated Eyes of Wakanda on Disney Plus I said hell yeah bro thank you

32:55Chip:do you want to go Marvel character for Marvel character

32:57Cal:he sent me a picture of him doing this

32:58Chip:with a voice note going Wakanda forever do you want to I didn't do that do you want to go Marvel character for Marvel character what does that mean So I say one Then you go to whoever loses

33:10Cal:Oh shit yeah

33:11Chip:I think you might actually Just even beat me I will Cause seriously I've been getting into it a lot Alright you ready I'll go first Spider-Man Okay Iron Man Hulk Thor Wonder Woman Wonder Ice Blast

33:26Cal:Vision Wait Who the fuck is Ice Blast Wait hold on You almost had me there Alright dude Bro you were so You so nearly had me Cause I just wait I just went wait Ice Blast Ice Blast Who did you say before that Hulk Oh I was so locked in on my own one I wasn't really listening to yours Ice Blast Ice Blast Fucking drink Tango Fuck

33:52Chip:You see the new Spiderman stuff Yeah Glasgow Tom Holland clip farming in Glasgow Bit weird that Just do it in the studio is what we're doing Don't really get that Blue screen Blue screen Yeah Well that's what it is isn't it oh they don't use green screens anymore let me guess green's offensive to somebody the blue community didn't feel included why is it always green why is it always green

34:20Cal:what green screen

34:21Chip:oh you weren't even listening to the fucking were you fishing

34:26Cal:were you fishing I was thinking about how we could have one specific space in the stew where this new movie idea just keeps cycling in and out I think I've locked it off it's over Universal give me your fucking money

34:38Chip:why Universal why not DC yeah let's have a bat cave

34:43Cal:I just need whoever's got the most money bro

34:45Chip:okay sorry alright well don't get aggressive just take it fucking easy pal I saw this thing about Ed Sheeran by the way he smoked some guy in the comments

34:54Cal:yeah he did he did yeah

34:56Chip:fair enough so Ed Sheeran was given a squad number for Ipswich yep and by the way number 17 great choice that was when you were born

35:06Cal:17th November 1994

35:08Chip:you just gave him the postcode as well mate fuck's sake and some guy was there like look how egotistical Ed Sheeran is and all this and my broski Ed just rocked up and slapped his big ginger cock on the table and said you're gonna have to smoke this one pal yeah

35:25Cal:because it said it sells a fair bit for them

35:27Chip:yeah well you would wouldn't you you'd have people buying it yeah and he gives all the money to them yeah shout out to him that's actually a really nice thing to do he sponsors the club as well he's actually a serious guy yeah did you know did i bring it up on this podcast what uh ed sheeran oh i think i did with uh on the tiny temper app that everybody listened to um i said that ed sheeran only communicates via email when i say that he's not like deaf but i just mean like you can't text him you the only way to get a hold of ed sheeran is email really like even as a mate like jay has told me the only way he can get in contact with

36:07Cal:ed sheeran is through email why because you don't like having a phone because too many people are blowing up his line i've been on the same shit man does imagine if bro it's hard enough getting

36:16Chip:hold of you i know with a device because i don't like i don't like how easily accessible i am man of my prowess personality just overall fucking aura 31 years old i should be a fucking rarity

36:30Cal:in this scene like it should be like oh I smoked your chip the other day what a what a blessing what a blessing the fact he sent me an attachment yeah oh I can't believe it I got a fucking MMS off him an MMS

36:43Chip:the fact we do a weekly podcast is funny isn't a great idea

36:45Cal:yeah it's a good point there's too much content of me out there you know I'm fucking watered down that's like a genuine thing you know

36:52Chip:that happens to people yeah you can have too much

36:55Cal:but at the same time you want to be putting out a lot a lot it's a hard it's a weird thing It's a good one, isn't it?

37:00Chip:Back in the day, that's why all the musicians and stuff, they're like, oh, I've got to be mysterious. Yeah. Oh, they can't do it. And then at the end of the day, you've got to put yourself out there. It's a really weird one. So fans can clip up your shit.

37:12Cal:That shit does work, but at the same time, then you could go the other way where it's like Sabrina Carpenter flooding out fucking tunes nonstop, doing all kinds of social shit with your fans, that kind of shit that I'm obviously on because I know all about it.

37:26Chip:You've got noties on for Sabrina Carpenter?

37:27Cal:A hundred percent, bro.

37:28Chip:You follow the fan pages Sabrina Is it?

37:32Cal:It's not Sabina You know Sabina always gets called Sabrina She fucking kicks off big time

37:36Chip:I hate people that do stuff like that What call them It's just a mistake Obviously she don't kick off bro Nah she is a type to kick off though Ah she don't kick off

37:44Cal:Leave her alone Fucking T right bro That's Oi Leave our fucking missus alone mate Oh that's so weird Our missus Got you mate I got you

38:00Cal:unless you've got a fucking mic but shut it come and sit down come and sit down paper paper speak no no no please

38:10Cal:this one ain't the one to jump in on bro just jump in for 10 minutes and just like i'm struggling

38:15Chip:there no you what you're struggling to chat to me come on bro no no it's happening come on you sit there come on come and sit here bro come and sit that's such a shit seat you'll see how bad it is I've got a mic for bro

38:27Cal:Five aside later Five aside You can't be worried Oh yeah They're dog shit bro Oh I did Oh I thought these Were kind of cool No nice I know you're fine Nah

38:35Chip:Like they are nice chips Sorry I didn't mean to Just knock you down Nah it's alright

38:39Cal:I've never seen you Take a joke Nah it's alright Don't worry about it You guys are my 13th reason

38:45Chip:Put them down Right now I need to get my clips

38:48Cal:Leave my fucking Mundial's alone

38:51Chip:Mundial's So what are they called

38:52Cal:I have no idea bro I just bought them oh fuck it they look cool

38:55Chip:alright AB you're gonna have to be the referee on this one it's between me and Chip right here this is the husband quiz because obviously we're soon to be I don't like talking about this moment just wanna let you know

39:04Cal:why you say we were like upset about getting engaged I'm not a husband no I'm bothered about

39:08Chip:being engaged I don't like the idea of spending money no that's my that's my partner that's my partner

39:15Cal:that sounds like a bloke bro

39:16Chip:and nothing wrong truffle pig like you don't know that could be a man

39:20Cal:unisex name to be fair

39:21Chip:yeah alright Right, and then we have to describe our cooking style in three words. That's the first one. All right, I'm going to go first. Absolutely fucking phenomenal.

39:30Cal:Yeah, that's fair. Is that what yours is? Yeah. Can you actually cook? I've never ever, not even being rude, bro. I just never have had the opportunity to have you cook for me. Oh, my phone's over there.

39:41Chip:I was going to say, I swear to God.

39:42Cal:And like one time you made me a sandwich in this cooking video you were doing in Calix like fucking seven years ago. It was good? No. What do you mean no? Like it was cold and shit. I feel like you might have more variety I feel like he can only whip up a mean steak That's not true though What's your cooking style? Cook up everything What do you want? Give me three words Say no more My three words is say no more Say no more

40:12Chip:I like that actually

40:15Cal:What's the next one? What's the one household chore you secretly avoid doing? There ain't no secretly about it bro I'll avoid it

40:22Chip:I avoid every household

40:24Cal:yeah Sabina Black take the bin down I'm not taking the bin now

40:28Chip:okay now that's different to me that's just toxic innit yeah

40:33Cal:Sabina door Sabina bins nah I take the bins down because to be fair that is the man's job well we have

40:38Chip:we got we got pink and blue jobs what does that mean ooh yeah so blue jobs

40:43Cal:not in 2025 you don't well so blue jobs are the man jobs that's crazy so what are in the blue jobs

40:49Chip:not taking the bin down that's a blue job yeah that's about as far as the blue job yeah yeah yeah if anything goes wrong in the gaff fix it yeah but I've got to make the arrangement yeah you've got to make it happen

41:03Cal:dishes you've got a dishwasher you can afford a dishwasher

41:07Chip:let me introduce you to something I'm trying to set him up for a bad one let me introduce you to something called weaponized incompetence

41:17Cal:oh my god I've been on this for a minute bro No, I don't. Oh, wait, is this doing something really shit so you don't get us to do it again? Exactly. That's what I was on in the warehouse.

41:27Chip:On in the warehouse? Yeah. So this is a skill, by the way, that everybody should learn.

41:33Cal:By the way, unless your name... Oh, wait, hold on.

41:35Chip:His alarm's gone. What was that for? Posting TikTok. Oh, yeah, better be.

41:39Cal:Yeah, on his personal. Don't think I don't know about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

41:44Chip:Sneaky little bastard. Yeah, he'd be taking clips off fellows and running it on his own account. I haven't done that in ages. we're not playing now i'm just playing you're a good boy stan um uh yeah weaponizing competence everybody except liam and stan should learn this right so yeah please don't be pulling please don't do this because if you start like fucking knock the camera up and then going i can't do i need someone else i'm gonna start punching the pull that down i'm down here you fucking dick so yeah what you want to do is just be a little bit shit i mean not too if you're too shit at it, then people just go like, oh, you just get the sack.

42:23Chip:Like in the warehouse, if you're too shit at working in the warehouse, you just get the sack.

42:26Cal:I don't know, the bar's pretty low. Right.

42:28Chip:Pretty hard to get sacked. But you just kind of have to be kind of bad. So what I do is on the dishwasher, I'll put it and then I just forget to put the tablet in and then open it. It's like not clean. And it's like, oh, you fucking forgot to put it in.

42:41Cal:Yeah, you start putting pillows in there and like shit.

42:43Chip:Right, right, right.

42:44Cal:That's when you put glass and ice at the bottom. what are you doing break that to break the dishwasher no i don't want to because then

42:53Chip:you have to fix it that's the point clanker so yeah yeah are you you to be fair chip you strike me as a guy that's kind of just been living life incompetent like not even weaponizing

43:07Cal:he's even conscious of like his incompetence it's just my personality that makes you come across like this I swear to god I could do all of this stuff your XP's just in really like weird places like all your skill points got put on like random shit and you missed off on so many of the basics name something you think I might not be able to do that I should probably be able to do just read social cues that's my fucking best skill it's not it's not is it not we'll be like a fucking thing we'll just be airing someone for like 10 minutes nah that's not that's not my fucking problem though we'll be interviewing someone

43:42Chip:on the pod

43:42Cal:will have a guest on he'll just zone out wait wait hold up that's not me fucking not getting social cue they ain't getting a social cue the social cue is hey Jim's not fucking listening anymore pat your bags up and get the fuck out yeah as long as you own it I guess that's fine yeah no and also that's just like my fucking no it's fine whatever it's fine man it's just yo we were just having a bit of a tug and pull man that was my dismo kicking in all the pulling about

44:06Chip:right give me something else no no no our question's done we're gonna move on nah cause I'm upset

44:12Cal:I'm upset fucking angry give me one more thing what do you think I'm not in concert that I might I should not be DIY that's not true bro I can build all my own shit

44:27Chip:nah because you always just be getting conned to do that nah I can't do it well don't get rattled alright let's move on to the next one what's the one household chore you take great pride in DIY why something i can't do you can't i've never seen you build shit bro why would you ever why would you ever watch me build no but you'll be there like yo freezy i just made this table

44:52Cal:i'll start pulling up receipts and shit when i lived in battersea i did my own setup you had

44:56Chip:the best wire management no but this is what i'm saying we're talking about now current relationship set up like you just get

45:03Cal:I do DIY if shelves need building you flat from furnished though I don't know what you're building everything there I've browsed I've browsed flats in your building they've got the exact same that's not true my flat came unfurnished as I said to him I got my own shit that I built that does come with it

45:23Chip:you can't bring that up seriously Chip I'm being genuinely serious when I say this like please stop getting rattled it's okay we're gonna move on

45:30Cal:winding me up. Free monitor arm. All right. Here's a good one.

45:33Chip:And I'm curious to know the answer to this one. Yeah. How do you usually show your partner love without saying it?

45:40Cal:I usually just take any DIY task.

45:45Chip:Take a show. It's gone. What do you do? If you're trying to, if you're trying to show a girl that you like her, without telling her, how are you doing it? AB? Seriously, what's your go-to move to be there?

45:58Cal:like you're like let us sit on my face and I wrap rap god rapid fuck I remember I bought no I know

46:04Chip:what it is what you do is switch what you do no this is what a b does right that was my that was

46:09Cal:my sign of love how could you possibly know what I did this is what you do how can I share so if

46:14Chip:there's a girl there if there's a girl there what you start doing is you start getting lippy to your boys in front of her nah it reminds me of the sidemen shoot with lauren alexis what the fuck

46:24Cal:that was so cringe wasn't it what the fuck nah you know what because I walked off that thinking you know what nah nah nah shut up shut up I walked off that being like I'm gassed for this to come out because that's like zingers and nah I'm dreading it nah I'm up at night thinking fuck what have I done you were so fucked I actually removed your name I was not so fucked at all I was so competent nah but it was so bad I removed your name out of my IG bio and everything I was well embarrassed why was my name in your bio I had a little like off you put all the Hashtag mains. That's more of a red flag than he is.

46:57What the fuck?

46:58Cal:Like we're in a couple. Nah, I'm not going to lie. I've got all my boys' names.

47:03Chip:That was an insane shit.

47:06Cal:You're fucking... Nah. What have you been planned before this? Just an ambush. Just a fucking intervention. Nah, that's what they are. Nah.

47:14Chip:Let's move on to the next question. I don't want AB to get embarrassed on the pod. That's not what this is about.

47:19Cal:Nah, you're getting Jim, bro. Don't even worry about it. That's good. Delp, that.

47:22Chip:Well done, lad. No, seriously, AB, trust me, in the vid, it's not even bait.

47:26Cal:Yeah, it's not bad.

47:26Chip:I've seen the edit. You don't chat.

47:29Cal:She's not even my type. On paper. I like bratty blondes. Bratty bops. You're a mess, bro. You're fucked, bro. You're so fucked. Trying to zing my way out of this. That was a good little zinger, to be fair. All right, here we go.

47:46Chip:This is a good one. Chip, I know you have about 10 of these in the locker, right? what's your signature move when you know you've messed up?

47:53Cal:Shit, man. Nah, he definitely goes like... Nah, because I don't ever get in them... Baby talk. He'll get really submissive. I think Serena loves me so much that it's hard for her to get fucking back to me.

48:07Chip:Nah, I've seen her pissed at you, bro.

48:10Cal:Yeah, but then I just... Josh! Then I'll just go home and I'll just be like...

48:14Chip:Nah, I've seen her like getting mad.

48:17Cal:It's when she's trying to tell a story to the group and you cut her off like 10 times and start showing something on your phone and she's like

48:23Chip:yes it is Brucegate Brucegate

48:25Cal:yes it is wait oh I need to log back in nah what were you saying there AB don't worry about it just fucked up my whole floor there bro don't worry about my point's been proven yeah nah

48:37Chip:you know what so what is your signature movie you're trying to grovel what's the play honestly

48:42Cal:fuck I don't really know pay for some new nails nah but I tell you I tell you one thing I do is like when were angry with each other or something I would never like do anything out of spite so like if I'm going out to get food or coffee or something and we just had an argument I'll still make sure I'm getting it for her and bringing it back and I'll just put it and I'll just open it up and be like coffee's in there love because I don't want to escalate the sitch no also it's just like you shouldn't let your emotions get the best of you be like nah I ain't gonna fucking buy her a coffee just because I think she's wrong and she thinks I'm wrong I'd be on that same shit Actually something non-toxic from me.

49:19Cal:No, that's good.

49:20Chip:Yeah, because this whole pod, we've been throwing out crazy red flags.

49:24Cal:Yeah.

49:24Chip:So it's nice to see a green.

49:25Cal:Nice to see a little bit.

49:27Chip:No, it's a beige one, to be honest. Oh, okay, fine. Let's move on to the next one. What's one tradition you hope to start as a married couple?

49:34Cal:Ooh. It's a start. It's a start. Could be like every Christmas

49:40Chip:or like a certain holiday or birthday. Yeah, I mean, I'm not... I'm hoping nothing really changes. What? Is that lame? I'm still going to call her my girlfriend. No, you can't. That's fucking cool. I have to, bro. You've got to say wife's a flex. Yeah, wife is, yeah.

49:55Cal:Don't be embarrassed to love your partner. Don't be embarrassed to show love to your partner, bro. It doesn't matter what society thinks and other people around you. You're a fucking cool guy. Thank you, bro. And even if you say, oh, it's my fiance, it doesn't matter what fucking little game goes. And some game comes running up to you like,

50:14Chip:oh, that's fucking cool. I'm, I'm, I'm the, like, when anybody says it, I'm, I'm that guy.

50:18Cal:You're the only person I've ever heard. Don't be, bro.

50:20Chip:Nah, it's a weird word. Like, it just sounds, like, freaky. Like, what are you trying to prove? Like, that's a weird flex, bro.

50:25Cal:I don't think it sounds freaky. It's almost like. Like, fiance.

50:28Chip:Also, am I French? Like, that's a, that's a. It's like you're going out of your way to tell people.

50:33Cal:Yeah. By the way. Yeah. People overdo it on Insta. It's like that IRL. Yeah.

50:37Chip:Exactly.

50:38Cal:So, the wife, obviously, I don't mind the wife. But you're just meant to, aren't you, I guess? Not even one of your answer. Your fucking missus will get pissed off.

50:43Chip:How long do you think you have to be dating somebody before you'd pop the question?

50:47Cal:I don't know. I've been talking to an Australian gal. I've not really been sleeping.

50:51Chip:I think I saw like a clip from your live stream or something about you. Oh, my vlog. Oh, maybe it was your vlog, yeah. Wait, what did you just say? You were talking. Oh, yeah. Oh, your riz. Your riz to the Australian. The voice note. The voice note. Yeah. How's that been going?

51:07Cal:Oh, yeah. It'll be on my repost, bro. You didn't even fucking tell me. You didn't reply to my water. That's true. No, it'd be just like, oh yeah, middle, middle, topless. RTP Media, these are bad.

51:21Chip:Wait, you don't play them though, do you?

51:23Cal:No, I do. Play the voice in the top loud.

51:25Chip:Oh yeah, I did, yeah, I did hear that. Can you put the headphones on? Yeah, yeah. Chip, you've not seen this clip, you're not a fan?

51:30Cal:Worst game in the world. Nah, I haven't watched it. I've been locked out, innit? Been locked out at my guy for a bit.

51:38Chip:Here we go, dial in on the AB.

51:39Cal:It's a dial in. Let's go, guys. Real voice notes that she sent to a real female in the DMs.

51:49Cal:Shadow boxing. This one's bad, bro. That's not even funny. I take it back.

51:56Chip:What are you sending that? Why have you sent the spitting one? That's so good, bro. I can't remember. Were you trying to be sexy

52:04Cal:and spit in your mouth? It wasn't the sexiest thing. She got a good sense of humor. She knew it was on. oh yeah she went oh yeah he's pretending to be a fucking dying cat I love this I actually really can't remember what the context was which I feel like doesn't look good like yeah what was the shadow box like the previous yeah what was the shadow box oh who's your favourite athlete you just start doing that go oh I love Marvin Ali I love John Jones yeah nah I went oh you get a little open your mouth and then I said that spit voice yeah yeah yeah you're fucked you're fucked wait till the clock that Beyonce shit's gonna happen You've had to get older this.

52:39Cal:I didn't actually do that. Out of your trouble, buddy. Now you're threatening to spit in women's mouths.

52:43Chip:Nah, I'm actually pissed. Nah, I'm actually fucking... Shall we jet? I'm mad. I'm getting mad. I'm getting mad. Nah, I'm actually getting mad now.

52:50Cal:Nah, I'm getting one.

52:51Chip:Nah. Nah, nah, don't.

52:54Cal:Nah. I don't even want that.

52:56Chip:Nah, let me actually see this. You walked around with serious kettle. I didn't realise you brought the Galax helper today. Galax, yeah. It's a female Rolex car. Yeah, you might think you gave me one as a third.

53:04Cal:You lost your mind. Now, when that comes... Yo, how about this?

53:07Chip:how about this

53:08Cal:we just get you a Rolex we just call it evens if we got you like a fucking sick Rolex would you just let it be and be like fine we'll call it quits we'll call it evens terrible business move I've been tapped in alright fine we'll be levelling up my fucking negotiation skills chat GBT

53:24Chip:what should I respond to this we'll cover your rent close enough Arthur TV I literally

53:30Cal:copy and paste on Arthur TV's message to you

53:33Chip:really you went to Arthur TV for negotiations was that Arthur the fucking the pits of hell

53:41Cal:I thought that guy's stingy he does yeah he is he's too stingy man he had you moving like prime island sugar I was like what the fuck am I meant to do with this I was basically I was saying I was basically saying that to you like oh we both know we've seen this now but like but I just know it didn't come from me

54:00Chip:that's you asking for peace through someone else's text it was decent

54:04Cal:but it was like the numbers were all wrong from Arthur.

54:08Chip:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, are they though? Take it with my agent. Yeah. Who's your agent that we need to speak to after TV? I was looking at that

54:15Cal:thinking, damn, I need to be getting more as well. It'll be coming to me in a second. Let me just tell you, I've got an offer now. I'm going to cover your rent and all Ubers from every month. Would you reckon that would come to a hefty amount? You don't Uber that much. Actually, I lived in London. No, this guy don't walk. This guy don't... So I do Uber a lot. This guy... this guy doesn't fuck what am I saying this guy doesn't Uber well put fucking sorry I got a little bit angry at myself there

54:45Chip:fuck you mate alright let's continue fuck you alright let's alright let's keep this going your partner wakes up grumpy what's your strategy to turn it around Chip oh

54:55Cal:uh oh very easy usually just be like oh let me tell you I have a little brekkie girl girl she she's like the one that if you give her an activity, she's all over. She's 12. Yeah, she loves that shit. No, she's not 12.

55:13Chip:Yeah, she loves that shit.

55:15Cal:Go on, clarify. Oh God, dude.

55:19Chip:All right. What's one thing you do at home that you know that drives your partner nuts? Fucking loads, bro. Yeah, you actually must be the one.

55:28Cal:So much shit. Do you like piss on the seat and that? Nah, because I wipe. And if I do, I wipe it. You know, someone asked on Snapchat the other day, they went, do you sit down or stand up to wipe your ass? I full on stand up, go for a wander around the bathroom, free point. Swear to God. Wait, wait, what? Wipe your ass! I don't know. I sit down and wipe my ass. That is mental to me.

55:49Chip:Wait, you don't sit down. So you stand up and do a little fucking scrunch? Yeah, but your cheeks are clapping together like you're getting shit on your cheeks. Nah, bro. Do you wipe it with a scrunched up tissue?

55:59Cal:A scrunch? Yeah. Aggressive. And then I'll just be like, Scrunch wipe You're not even What the fuck is that You're not even getting Full contact bro You gotta do Fold and wipe Fold and wipe Nah fold's the best Scrunch Scrunch into a ball

56:15Chip:Nah don't mind a scratch Wait we're all talking About falling scratch We're not talking about The fact he stands up To wipe his arse

56:21Cal:Also if you stand up I'm going for a piss I'm actually getting mad Now I'm actually getting mad If you stand up by the way You don't even get The little treat Of just slipping a finger In every now and then By accident It's cause Listen I've got shit to do I'm efficient so like I want that ass clean rapper sorry guys mute me there I don't want to disrupt the world yo how have you been? fucking good Neff not bothered anymore why? get excited to come on this podcast and come on it's just like it's just fucking shots of left right and centre hey we've given you the platform to drop zingers mate yeah whatever whatever fuck nah I'll tell you what I've actually been mad bored recently you actually what?

57:00Cal:just been sat around my gaff yeah I know you've been bored bro you keep texting me but my sister was saying my ag after, which is why I've not been on. She's been sleeping in my office. Well, my Alexa's broke, so I've gone on to chat to her. It's been so dead. Why would you chat to a robot anyway? No, because it's just like... Bro, chat into a fucking wireback. Copper blood. Hey, copper blood. Play that new fucking Lemony Snickets. Nah, yeah. It's just the music adds a little bit of a vibe and I've just been walking about in silence just like I thought. How's GTA IP going? It's good, actually, you know.

57:32Cal:It's really good. Salim is a goat so there's this guy Salim and I didn't really know about him too tough don't say that the thing is I was going to do it in a voice like too tough but I just bottled it so now it sounds like what you're trying to say now you've just lost a fucking lot of respect from me no basically I just met this Indian bloke in the game and he was just immediately getting me on some scamming shit turns out my whole chat my whole chat my whole chat immediately like Salim Salim he's actually like better known in the RP world turns out he's a fucking god I've done heist with him wait so does he just like hop between servers no this is he's probably just in whichever the biggest server at this time which is this one done a robbery with him I got arrested out of nowhere Celine breaks me out with the fucking golf club he takes a policeman hostage and then I'm like you got a warrant he's like I don't get warrants he's like God he's like that's my ball what are you oh my god he's just I was just telling him about my GTA role play and he just squeezed his ball in his shorts and goes that's my ball so I was poking it no I don't want to see that don't know how but it's ended up quite high because of these charts let me lose my meat don't fucking dwork at the cave I've seen a comment the other day about on Bob Boys what did it say again I sent it to you oh yeah everyone's asking AB to join Bob Boys fans I'm joined and then I saw another one saying oh AB should be in Bob Boys and then I thought it was AB that replied because it's that clip account that's named AB and it just looks like the real one said yeah it'd be better than fella's third host yeah i'm not gonna lie that clip account is like your biggest hater really it's like my day one clip account being on the tiktok they're just like he's like not fucking chip again like he fucking hates you yeah he does hate me you know what on the video if you're not on the video when you come to meet me at the grotto he comment melts

59:24Chip:on the ab clip account he's furious about this i need to have a word with him

59:30Cal:listen up clipper

59:33Chip:that sounds like a clipper it does slander name oh shit

59:40Cal:clipper fucking clipper let's be friends let's call it a truce you know I'm you know I'm all for love and passion

59:49Chip:alright chip what if you and your partner can move anywhere for a year where would you go what would you do and AB just that question but without the partner.

1:00:01Cal:You know what? You guys are comparing your chapter 20 to my chapter one. Fucking drive me off. Look at you guys at 21. Fucking, you're an absolute mess.

1:00:10Chip:Mate, at 21, I was probably richer than I am now.

1:00:13Cal:Yeah. In a way. Oh, God. Or coin sponsors, yeah. You look like a Q-tip. So don't you even start giggling over there. A Q-tip. You've only just started looks maxing up fucking 30, bro. I'm aging like a fine wine please relax aging like a fine wine nah don't pull up that can we do it because they chat to me like oh you're not chatting to any girl you're bent and that but like thing is

1:00:40Chip:I'm not gonna lie if you Cal Freezy 21 this is the most humbling thing you'll ever see bro

1:00:51Cal:mine's not as bad as it looks can I just say though yeah you would but at the same time Please respect him Oh look it's me You know what That fucking you Right there Cal's kind of lagged

1:01:03Chip:He's put you on Now this These are like These edits where they go Prime Calvary

1:01:07Cal:Yeah You know what That convinces me It convinces me that You put an edit over anyone And they look Wait Yeah with the music Wait that's not The compliment you think it is It was a compliment Oh fuck off It's slowing down a bit And it's just like Yeah I was saying like He's still chuffed It's just got a cool edit behind it You put on that song

1:01:26Chip:Nah, back in my day, bro Top left is probably prime Check the Mew

1:01:31Cal:I was Mewing before anybody, fuck Day one Mewer I kind of respect that from you That's edited It looks like you got someone stuck inside your face That's obviously edited That doesn't look like you That's because it's edited Have you seen the TikTok filter where you tried to catch the features on your face

1:01:53Chip:Oh man, we've done now That's that

1:01:55Cal:that's prime car prime car go up go up i've seen it there lengthening with middle top top middle right up right right right no no no no not stanley you're so shit there we go yeah do you want to know where that was fucking up bro your hair's there is that a turtleneck you look really nice

1:02:13Chip:you like do you want to know where that is that is a lynx shoot have i ever told the story about lynx you know what i don't like to tell this story brand name so i'm saying the brand name No, I could, I could say it's fine. It's fine. They put a piece of my bike out. They deserve it. So the story behind it was, that was the second shoot that I did of three, right? But the first shoot I did, I'm actually quite embarrassed about this. So at this link shoot, they've told me, I'm in an ad with H, Anthony Joshua. Yep. And I think it was Tiny Temper. was that where he knew you from?

1:02:51Cal:Oh yeah so when you said nice to meet you and you just completely aired the fact you've already been was it or maybe the first one was Jesse Lingard

1:03:01Chip:maybe it was Jesse Lingard in the first one I can't remember either way anyways I knew I had to shoot the night before I asked them could you get me a hotel next to the shoot location it turns out it was just in King's Cross so they just got me a hotel in King's Cross because I was like what I'm going to do is I'm going to go on this night out and I'll go to King's Cross and then I can just wake up the latest time possible and roll in. It's really embarrassing. And it was a go on this night out and it was like a fucking mega night. I were out like late, late, late, late, late. I've gone home. I've slept through the first alarm, slept through all the alarms.

1:03:34Chip:I woke up to my manager at the time knocking on my front door. So keep in mind, he just went straight to the shoot. He was there one hour past, wasn't picking up. so he's like fuck it i've got a head to his gaff head to my gaff woke up to him knocking outside like what the fuck's going on realized i hadn't slept in the hotel they'd given me i'd gone all the way home slept in i've rolled up to the shoot three hours late anthony joshua wait in there oh they didn't start without you no they started shooting the individual shots but they couldn't do the group stuff until i was there and then not only that but like i'm i had to take so before the before i go up and do this group shot i'm not oh just give me a second one sec i'll back yeah just went around the back I just spewed up everywhere out the back of this thing and they could definitely hear inside the studio and I'll so about I was gonna say it's kind of cold that you egoed them but no I didn't like a mess and yeah it's just embarrassing like bro these a lot of pain use everybody's time and it's rocked up three hours and then after that I promised myself I was like you gotta pull your shit together so

1:04:35Cal:like no more nights up before big shoots yeah brand shoots anyways yeah cuz if it's like one of the boys like fuck it cuz you turn up and you say is what is and the hangover goes nah but that was really bad

1:04:45Chip:that was the worst and then after that I was like you're not gonna make it in this world if you could do shit like that bro

1:04:49Cal:yeah that's crazy really bad oh that's why you sign with a brand that's just like a degenerate and then you can just fucking do that shit bro

1:04:57Chip:well tell them to hit my inbox

1:04:59Cal:will do bro

1:05:00Chip:because I I wouldn't mind some fresh cover Miami next week for me you going to Miami we in Miami baby turn up another night what's the one thing you're looking forward to in Miami yacht party

1:05:13Cal:that'd be nice it's a massive yacht really? big big fucking yacht big yacht

1:05:19Chip:you're getting like Wolf of Wall Street down with the shit huh? Wolf of Wall Street vibes

1:05:23Cal:yeah probably maybe even bigger you know

1:05:26Chip:what else are you looking forward to out there? what have you heard about Miami that you want to see? you want to see the amount of outrageous BBLs by the way not in like a good way they're like disgusting I don't even know what that is

1:05:36Cal:that's weird you were telling me about it

1:05:38Chip:don't try and stick me with that shit

1:05:41Cal:11's a strip club that's a strict you just said you gotta go coolest club in the world I didn't understand don't try to put me in you should go to space that's the one that they all just start rocking up to like fucking 3am or the 4x traders and that I don't know about that maybe I've never been to space no never have I is it space or am I getting it wrong could be space is a place in Leeds it's all what a nightclub 15 year old girl yeah you're gonna enjoy Miami am I gonna yeah

1:06:09Chip:you are going

1:06:10Cal:oh you are gonna it's better than LA

1:06:11Chip:way better than LA LA's a bit of a stinker yeah yeah it actually is and where are you staying at a nice hotel I don't know wherever they book me oh shit

1:06:19Cal:I usually just send the Airbnb and they sort me out sort of shit I'm off you get an Airbnb you don't like hotels uh Airbnbs are way better really yeah I get a little bit like but the thing is about I got to get a bit antsy in a hotel room think about Miami hotel is that they're not they're all like kind of like fucking nah I will do a hotel in Miami but in LA like a little house by the beach is way more than that yeah that's for sure yeah if it's just like because the whole thing in Miami is just big skyline just want beachfront hotel nice pool you can get crazy you're going out there with anyone from the UK I don't think so I don't think many of the boys are out I mean well as not he'll be recovering from his ayahuasca shit has he said that he's done that he's done it yeah just talks about a mothlin oh fine what did he say it was like just out of curiosity no he's not actually he was I was filling in for him on waffling like he wasn't there so he's not giving his in-depth thing but yeah apparently fucking mental I mean we'll let him articulate it but sounds insane fuck I don't think I'll ever touch that kind of stuff if you do that

1:07:24Chip:you'll be on the ropes forever if I did I'd be like 50

1:07:26Cal:I know people have done it it can go it can change your life badly forever I think if yeah I think if you're someone who's like dabbled with mushrooms and you've always been fine and never skitzed out you're probably fine with that but if you're just someone who's like not really done much and you're like fuck it I've heard about ayahuasca he probably just sends you to to the hell around I think even if you are experienced it can take go badly so you want I feel like don't risk that don't you do it no do it when I'm my old old don't want to see Neff go down no because when I die I want to know I've experienced like loads of mad shit yeah yeah that's fair enough that's fair enough yeah could even do it when you're 30 bro because then I won't even give a shit about you yeah what nine years I'm not going to have you

1:08:05Chip:yeah all the stuff

1:08:07Cal:everything out of you what What the fuck? You guys would be like, streets will never forget by then. We were saying, wait, wait, wait.

1:08:14Chip:Oh, this is a good question for you, AB, at 21 years old as well.

1:08:18Cal:Yeah.

1:08:20Chip:Are you living... Is that the right thing? Golden era? Are you living in the golden... The good times. Oh, yeah. Are you living in the good times right now? What, like,

1:08:32Cal:I wish there was a way to know you were in the good times before you leave them. Yeah. Yeah, surely. Got to be. or do you think this has got to be prime not even prime

1:08:43Chip:but this has got to be part of a good time you know what's mental people will post

1:08:48Cal:like AB on TikTok be like fucking prime miss prime AB yeah that fucks me off because it's like but he's just so new that is a definition of nostalgia merch and so it's because they're trying to gatekeep they're like nah this was prime AB but all I do was eating a fucking toast in my conservatory dropping dead jokes yeah and it's like now I'm putting like effort into videos and live streaming every night and now this isn't prime yeah what's that about are you gonna irl stream i did one with chazza at the paddle tournament and it was one of the funnest stream it was so good however i think that was good because we had like something to do yeah yeah we would like you could stream the paddle you'd have to talk for a bit and then you like got a bit of storyline like all right we won

1:09:29Chip:that one we're going unbeaten yeah i tuned in i found it so boring to watch no not in not in terms of um like the actual paddle yeah well yeah there was no bikes is what i'm saying from love island

1:09:44Cal:was streaming there yeah fucking smoked him by the way but um yeah he had a mic on and that would

1:09:48Chip:have been way that would have been yeah because i tuned in and it was just watching yeah and i was like oh shit i've missed a good part obviously where they're supposed to be chatting and stuff

1:09:56Cal:yeah well yeah and i saw all on tiktok yeah but you should have really just been invested in me

1:10:00Chip:seeing me win yeah i couldn't i didn't even know the score like there was no way from i tuned in and I was there like I have no idea what's going on it's difficult to follow especially if you didn't

1:10:08Cal:even try and follow it like me yeah you do you mess around with them both boys yeah after a message keep forgetting keep forgetting people are saying we're the new Marlon and Lacey are they saying that are they saying that they're not they're not fucking saying that mate they've said that are they saying that yeah you can be phased adapt I wouldn't mind that because phased adapt's the best out of the last one yeah he's the funniest out of the last one nah we this gives more credit to my new idea anyway. I don't know I was streaming. You're a new idea. You have to like if I was to do that we need something to do I think.

1:10:43Cal:If I was to do that I'd just do a weekly one where there's an activity laid out. You can't I don't think you could do it every day. Fucking people do but yeah fuck that. I mean you could do it if it well to be fair I saw Ginge like doing something where it was like showing like streamer stats in a month and he'd streamed 27 days in a month. Two days off in the month and he said that was only because they were launching Bob Boys. Yeah. mental so fair play yeah whereas not all of them are around are they most of them are just sat down chilling yeah most of the time he'll be responding to this right now he loves watching fellas clips you know yeah that's a good fucking clip yes they are good lost a lot of weight Ginge a lot of weight I actually went out

1:11:23Chip:of my way to text him and let him know that he's lost a lot of weight

1:11:26Cal:yeah I thought it caught me off guard a little bit because I did a Bob Boys vid before that stream I won't be doing that and he rocked up late and I was like who even is that

1:11:33Chip:yeah look the same but sometimes you know what they say though if you lose weight you become less funny

1:11:38Cal:this is what Chaz was saying he said he needs to lean into it for a few years let the Bazinga sort of storyline roll on and then when he's older he can lose weight and he could get a Gymshark deal or something as well yeah something like that

1:11:48Chip:I think I'm going to do some

1:11:48Cal:gym streams with him as well

1:11:49Chip:who Chazza or Ginge getting Chazza in shape oh that would actually be sick yeah

1:11:55Cal:happy to do that with him on the Green Squad stream

1:11:57Chip:you good

1:11:57Cal:happy to do that the dynamic you've got to be wham all that what do you mean like what what you go gym and you can't have the fucking the fucking gyno goblin the fucking goblin bro I'll make my way there I'll crawl into the gym I'm telling you it's fine fucking hell don't you ever talk about my gyno again no one even brought it up leave me and my gyno alone literally nobody mentioned it oh it's my alter ego bro you do gyno well you can't yeah who was I with today when I tried sucking my own nipple. Me? Yeah. You're on the pod.

1:12:39Chip:Is that what you guys know? Nah, yeah, it was unloaded. You gotta go watch Chip try and suck his breasts.

1:12:45Cal:I don't like it. I'm getting there, boys. I'm seeing a little bit of definition come underneath. Can you do a little titty bounce yet? Bounce him. Not even a flinch. Nothing. He's just stared at his chest. I can roll the muscles down from the shoulders to the top. I don't know what that is I don't know bro like with Parkinson's fuck anyway fuck it's nice to have Goon Squad back again together yeah

1:13:11Chip:that's a 5-0 that's another 25 can't be 5-0 say the group name yeah I generally think you know our content the only way the group

1:13:19Cal:really takes off we need one more member but they have to naturally join I don't like to no no 4 is a crowd 3 is 3 no you can't really have a YouTube group as a free or 2 which is why fellas is fucking knackered.

1:13:34Chip:Just the most successful UK podcast of all time. Yeah, sound, bro.

1:13:38Cal:Yeah, go on, bro. Yo, I just fucking I know what that is. That's all right. Nah, right. Yeah, we need a fourth at one point though. Who would be a good fourth to get in? We need someone that's not too woke. There's no one. So we can't have Arthur. Theo. Yeah, that's a good point. Nah, Theo too bold. Theo would do my head in. Too bold. Theo third, I've post the transplant I will maybe accept.

1:14:02Chip:he just cries about shit I've got no time for it

1:14:05Cal:I don't think there is anyone that could fit in unless unless we all we could go for like a shock transfer for like Bez from the side you know the story that I said

1:14:16Chip:if Chip said no to me on the pod I was going to do pod with Bez yeah would have done more numbers but he would have sacked it off earlier yeah he definitely would have sacked it off by then but Bez with a shock transfer I think he signs that contract I think he signs it

1:14:31Cal:I'd take a George Clark post crash out on his fans. That would take that one. Come in. Soon come. Yeah.

1:14:46Cal:Villain hug George Clark. George, we love George. This goes full red pill.

1:14:56Chip:Catch him at a couple marches and shit.

1:14:59Cal:Full of bold. fucking hell I tell you he'd be good he'd be good Batch is alright he's not too left not too right Batch would be good Batch is pretty good he doesn't pander too much as well he don't plant trees have you seen his recent TikToks I'm sorry no that's gone wrong I used to like he's lost support Batch is a genius he can just whip up a concept now he's like broking it on skeletons they are funny nah this one's mental nah he has gone insane mate almost a mil Go on the skelly one. Go on the skeleton. He's brilliant, isn't he?

1:15:39Cal:I think he's hit a creative wall. What's that in the background? Who the fuck is that in the background? And the caption just bumped up. 152k light. It's good media. It's fucking good, isn't it?

1:15:54Chip:The one to the left as well. He obviously seen that one done numbers. when he doesn't yeah this one's better off

1:15:59Cal:who do you reckon who do you reckon if you said to the fans it has to pick someone that matches our vibe who do you reckon they will say I actually think

1:16:07Chip:match is good crack

1:16:09Cal:well I'm glad you finally said that I've been president for a while you know what he's actually alright isn't he you know what off camera off a TV is not even a bad shout yeah off camera off camera off a TV no off is brilliant they're all they're all good shouts but uh just makes him sound mental yeah it does no he's not he just doesn't talk about fucking sea monkeys and that what's wrong

1:16:36Chip:is he doing Batch is actually just going through a phase right now that's what I haven't seen this type of switch up in content since Cal Freezer moved to food

1:16:43Cal:by the way oh my god actually

1:16:45Chip:I'm here

1:16:46Cal:wait I actually think Batch was one of the first members of the Goose Squad why not it's like he chucked up a G when did he chuck up no he is he is an unofficial member someone said in my twitch chat Batch is in the green squad I went no he's not and he went Chip said he was and I went no no Batch Batch was one of the Batch was around when green squad started to form what and like me and him were like chucking up GS and shit

1:17:09Chip:yeah where were we throwing up G's with Batch

1:17:13Cal:yeah Batch it was there when like I think it was a part of him laying down I think I saw a clip yeah oh it was in the confessions corner no Batch Batch is bad No one gets consoled That's what's good about It's a natural thing It's a natural thing I'm not against it I'm just saying You can't just fucking Throw that shit on me If anybody tries to come in Obviously the president Will go No fuck off What you trying to do In my fucking house You're a dictator bro You're a fucking dictator What you trying to do In my basement You're a goon You're trying to goon With my boys Without fucking asking For a fucking goon card No permission mate

1:17:44Chip:Truffle pig gave me A telling off Saying like You lot are 30 years old You just put the goon talk away

1:17:49Cal:Oh my god Oh my god Just keep Keep Keep

1:17:52Chip:We'll keep We'll keep it moving here. I need to go all May, by the way. I need to get changed. Right, well, we'll nip back and then we'll go. Because, by the way, to those who know, we've got a fellow staff party that I'm looking forward to tonight. You're going to be on your best behaviour, son. Get a bit leery. You're getting leery. I'm going to get a bit wild. No, I'm actually being serious, bro. I'm going to start getting mad if you start acting out. Because, obviously, you genuinely represent the biggest podcast. Don't fuck it up. I've got charting away in the morning. You've got what? Charting away.

1:18:23Chip:you've got 12 on the way tomorrow 12.30 kickoff yeah just down the road to be fair

1:18:27Cal:we've got a theme tune for the Goon Squad this is a real David Bowie song the lyrics as well literally says this

1:18:43Chip:real lyrics that's from David Bowie by the way David Bowie oh my god we've got our own tune

1:18:50Cal:David Bowie do you reckon we could get him to come and sing it live for us. Remember at the function tonight we've got to get a photo post up with that in the back. It's quite a known thing though because when somebody comments in AB should join both boys there was a reply saying he's already in Goon Squad. Yeah someone did say that. There's a movement starting here. There is a movement here. There's a culture there's no official announcement or anything but it's just we're here.

1:19:13Chip:Is it one of those where it just naturally occurs like we're not forcing it we don't have a logo.

1:19:18Cal:Oh well we do actually. We do have a logo. We do have a logo.

1:19:21Chip:It's like, you don't really know. You know what we are? We're undergown. We're rebels. Yeah, I got sent this.

1:19:27Cal:We're against the... I got sent this. I wasn't sure how I thought about it. I thought we were more like classed.

1:19:31Chip:No, it's also just like the thug life thing on the top left. That's not the official logo.

1:19:36Cal:AI made it. It's too shit, but it's a nice little meme that our community's made for us. You definitely made it, didn't you? Right, Cleaver made it. Posted it on the alt. Cleaver made that?

1:19:44Chip:It was AI. Wait, our own staff made it? AI. It wasn't AI. Cleaver made it Cleaver made it as you can see we don't do AI do we

1:19:54Cal:nah

1:19:55Chip:nah

1:19:56Cal:I fucking love it air water cranker sorry I'm joking I'm joking I wait till oh I can't even say it but there's a George Clarky video coming out where I dropped the most fucking diabolical AI oh yeah let's just statement ever when's that coming out we can't say I'm not saying anything I just want to say to the people George Clark probably has got two vids coming out that are like best of the year heavily feature you best of the year best of the year I think like top level they should be really good well you're in one of them but I don't know how good that one was

1:20:26Chip:just put it this way but I did my thing

1:20:29Cal:you know what I know that one's gonna stink mine was

1:20:32Chip:you got that fucking W2S juice

1:20:35Cal:mine kind of banged in it now okay

1:20:38Chip:let's not talk about something that's not out that's ridiculous alright there's also this trend going around on X right now god that feels weird X where people it's the dad one so like for example Toulouse FC said welcome Abu and they said bet his dad Peek is buzzing Peek Abu I'm glad this is you've picked up do you want to do the next one then maybe glad this is so you read the bottom one first we are delighted bottom one you say we are delighted to announce

1:21:07Cal:we are delighted to announce the signing of goalkeeper George no

1:21:11Chip:no no so what we're doing is the one above but it's the quote tweet

1:21:15Cal:we are delighted to announce a signing of Malcolm EboA on the permanent. I think I'm too thick for this, you know. Malcolm. Yeah, someone's incompetent. I bet his dad is buzzing. So is that something EboA?

1:21:30Chip:No, no, no. I bet his dad a whim is buzzing. So now put a whim before his last name. EboA. Yes!

1:21:37Cal:No, I'll tell you what the thing was. I thought there was not going to be... I thought you wanted me to come up with the dad's name.

1:21:43Chip:No, no, these are jokes already done for us.

1:21:44Cal:when it was right in front of me.

1:21:45Chip:So you can do the next one. This one is good. Okay, you can do the next one. Here we go. Read out. Me? Yeah. Oh, fucking hell. Come on. Let me have it. You got this. Yeah, let him have it.

1:21:53Cal:We are delighted to announce the signing of goalkeeper George Havelock who has rejoined the club for 2025-26 season. And then the quote to it is, bet his dad, of course, well... Is buzzing.

1:22:06Chip:Of course, we'll have a lot. Brilliant. So much better when we have to read him out on the pod. It just sounds so natural. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It does sound bad reading out. Borussia Dortmund is delighted to announce a contract extension of Emre Khan or Shan. Depends how you say it until 2026. Bet his dad ate. He can.

1:22:31Cal:If you just get that one.

1:22:34Chip:Here we go. Pathos FC is brought to announce the signing of Brazilian football icon, David Luiz, who joins the club on a contract. bet his dad jeez jeez Louise that's a little that's what I go on AB

1:22:50Cal:drop this one we're excited to announce a signing of talented young forward Sam Nombe on season long loan with intent bet his dad garden yeah I don't mind that one alright here we go two assists in Rodrigo de Paul's second game for Inter Miami settling in just fine that his dad Sean is pushing Sean of all

1:23:17Chip:fuck's sake PSV I'd open open talks with Parma for Dennis man that's a new winger bet his dad Spiderman is buzzing that one's shit oh shit there's so many better ones cheers to Stan for picking out the Hooners right god no alright guys we're gonna wrap it up there the next pod will actually be a bit of a fucking movie because Chip will have been back from his holidays. And yeah, that's about it.

1:23:48Cal:So I'll catch you guys. Yeah, that one's really good anyway. Maybe I'll jump back on it. All right, Clanko.

1:23:55Chip:See you in a bit, guys. Have a good one.

1:23:57Cal:See you later, boys and girls.