264. CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: AB Talks Having A Kid & Behz Reveals His Biggest Kink… EP. 264

11:42Chip:Yeah like the first season of Game of Thrones have you watched it? No. He hasn't seen it. Oh the first season of Game of Thrones is just like as much bussy as you can get bro is just clapping. Really? All sorts yeah. Medieval slops. Oh fucking Jason Momoa was fucking he was twatting the life out of Daenerys bro in season one. No he was.

12:00Cal:No it actually got me mad. Yeah. What's that season one episode 13 like 25 minutes in? Got me mad bro.

12:07Chip:Got me mad Daenerys. It's just getting backshots from fucking Jason Momoa, bro. That's crazy. Aquaman was backshotting it. Does he play like the big guy? He plays like the... He's a big guy, but he dies. Spoiler.

12:20Cal:He dies. Spoiler. He says a spoiler after. If you're getting annoyed about games where it's spoiler now, like, shut up.

12:27Chip:Genuinely, I'd watch it. I'd watch it if I was good.

12:29Cal:Yeah, I've watched season one and I just... No, you haven't. No, you haven't. I've watched season one, episode one slash two. Changed my life. That is not enough.

12:36Chip:You've got... It's like John Snow painting, bro. bro when it was on yeah it would come on HBO yeah but in the UK it would come on Sky Atlantic at whatever time like 1am in the morning bro I was up you were waiting up for it I was putting my LEDs behind my TV to blue battle of the bastards best answer ever red wedding oh yeah red wedding yeah I like this

13:01Cal:I didn't know you loved it that much I like this from you this is big

13:04Chip:man don't know that I was on Skyrim bro I used to love them dragons

13:16Chip:you actually a real one bro I'm a gimp actually a dork I can't remember the last time there was a TV show that actually got me hyped I was hyped for Stranger Things, binge watched it all in a day and it was like it ends a bit abruptly

13:35Cal:it's split into like free part yeah but it still ends good though it's not like a shit ending no no it's like a sick ending oh by the way it's been up for like two days I've started re-watching Game of Thrones and I'm already on season three that's insane what the fuck that's like 20 hours that's like a lot of hours

13:51Chip:why were you up till 2am last night? well I wouldn't what was he doing? nah like why were you? we were out for a work day yeah I get a message like Chip being like nah why is my boy active on what's up at 2am yeah because you normally in bed by 12 bro not anymore why I'm going to sleep mad late why business no it's not why are we checking the markets valid I do trading valid there's only one reason back in the day why I would have been up till 2am oh why is that probably facetiming someone oh right

14:22Cal:you actually used to get cheap cards on ultimate team market those times that's why I was up sniped the team of the Aramos 150k blew me up

14:30Chip:who's in your team right now you got any like who's in your roster couple couple future stars little mil flashback SPC what have you ever put to mil? no not yet I feel like it would all be like it'd be fun you'd be like nah this is gonna be sick and then when you're doing it you'd be like nah I'm not fucking with it it'd be very scary yeah yeah I feel like you'd be like nah this is wrong like she's fucked with this you know what I mean though you'd be like you should be like my mum's mate going to book meetings and shit. What are we doing? Well, fuck, it sounds like you've got a story. No, I don't.

15:11You've already got the fantasy storyline. I barely even think about it. The mill.

15:16Chip:Barely even think about it. You do think about it.

15:20Cal:What's your fantasy way of meeting a girl that you'd like to date? You know how you picture it? Yeah. You might be in Waterstones, just flicking through the latest Ryan Holiday life of a stoic, and then fucking catch eyes I reckon like at a fairground and they're on a Ferris wheel

15:38Chip:oh my days we're going Winty after this oh shit I've never been you meant to kind of go with the gal though aren't you no it's a boys trip bro a boys Winty Wonderland is barbaric

15:52Cal:I'm gonna get in so much trouble should we like actually like fuck it up like spark out Santa and everything yeah fuck off Rudolph let's steal an elf just take him back to my yard fuck him up literally you can dress up as an elf trap him on the balcony let's just do some oh how's the mouse situation oh yeah mouse is just fully living in my gaff we've got one too yeah no faith updates me bro misses me in my DMs um no literally like maybe a week ago um I was just in bed and I heard some like scuffling around downstairs and I was like oh fuck I'm imagining some massive London rat and then I like I go to the stairs put a flash on I just see some like zoom across and I'm like this is fucked start poking the bin bag I did notice some nibble marks on the bin bag like the day before that was after we got back from Soho Farmhouse as well so I was like something's been living here while I'm gone I will say there was like five Katu Curry's in a bin bag on the floor so that would be why yeah I didn't think mouses could get up there anyway yeah I go away again get back bro's still there and now he's not even asked if I'm awake like he just walks past me Stuart Little and last night I could hear it's called Gus and last night I could hear the curtain I could see the curtain moving I looked he was halfway up the curtain and he was just like hanging there trying to get on the bin and I was like I was fucking leaving bro

17:15Chip:he's actually alright no because what's happened is you've taken him out previously and he's come back well I only put him on the balcony apparently he meant to take a mouse like miles away to not come back he was rolled up in a rug I whacked it on the balcony and he's back he lives like behind my kitchen unit but there's nothing for him to eat anymore so he should fuck up

17:30Cal:are you not worried of like him crawling in the bed and shit like when you're he can't get up them stairs yeah but he could be diseased he climbed up a car of course he can get up the stairs he climbed up a fucking he ain't coming up my stairs bro no no they go through the walls wrong Gus can do what he wants bro he doesn't I know the layout of my walls I know where Gus bro he's losing you know what what are you going to do if like you've got the mouse now but what happens if you get a rat I won't because they're already occupied by Gus bro nah nah because rats they don't care they'll be like yeah fuck off Gus see how there's a rat I'll decapitate it yeah you can't would you kill it yeah I'll kill a rat no I don't want to do a rat no you can kill it you've got to just get yeah

18:06Chip:so yeah there's like cat versus dog you reckon there's mouse versus rat the rat wins every time yeah that's what I was going to say no but I mean like the mouse is more common so like common mouse yeah common mouse no but rats are like nitties aren't they so they're like they're like gouge eyes and you don't want to fuck with a rat shit is really hurting boys what do you mean it's hurting it's fucking leg wax I know but there's like glue stuff you've been stabbed on your arm mate yeah no I asked for someone directions in London that's what I get yeah my bad got the tube for the first time this is our rocket to work everyone in the comments nah he'd be so out of touch fuck I tried you know what I mean fucking up fucking make up love cigs bro love a dog you were at half nine to look like that this is a fucking kiwi bro nah fuck it don't bro he's sad yeah sorry man

18:56Cal:I hear it bro don't I hear it yeah why is it that

18:59Chip:every time you're in a costume you're just in a mood I can't be honest anymore I didn't know this was more

19:03Cal:I actually love my costume but it doesn't look like it mate no can I say something I look grumpy because of the because of the fucking face thing that I've got on I'm not actually like drowning or anything you know I'm having the time of my life right now yeah this is going off

19:18Chip:this is a good pre yeah this is what this pod essentially is pre-drinks for the movie

19:23Cal:you know what I fucking rate all of you boys I'll tell you what AB take back what I said about the fucking chopsticks bro you're fucking sick

19:30Chip:celebrate that shit let's go around one thing you're grateful for right now Chip start

19:34Cal:alright cool grateful for the fucking bed in my hand and it's true and the life that I'm living yeah okay fucking money in my bank account right half a bill

19:49Chip:isn't it mad that you can have all the peas in the world and yet you still got to do shit like this oh you see my rich man laugh

19:59Chip:what's wrong you know what I'm hosting the evenings Can I do my real one

20:04Cal:I'm still thinking Alright go on I'm grateful for All my boys And all the boys In the room Behind the camera And this Fantastic podcast And being able to go Winter Wonderland Tonight And being in the group chat You're making it But I appreciate it You're trying to join session The wonky boys Or whatever we would call it Invite only by bro That sounds like a slur actually The wonkies I don't sound good at all I'll tell you what I'm grateful for like just free will having freedom every day to do what I want go just get on the bevs immediately after this with the boys every day I wake up I do what I want to do post a snapchat post couple snapchat yeah that's a fucking LV belt printing next next Revolut what are you on next

20:50Chip:wait by the way AV this is how by the way you know how we talk about being out of touch the most out of touch person in here by a long shot is you this is what i'm gonna tell you the story and why this is gonna cement ab as most out of touch person i know the fuck he goes so i asked him about like making money on snapchat he's like bro it's it's like a free money glitch every few days i press withdraw and it just ends up in my bank account and i was there like fuck that does sound pretty sweet anyways fast forward two months and i get a message more than two months yeah whatever but you've been doing the snapchat game for like year straight year straight right and he goes boys you're not going to believe this i've just found almost six figures sitting in an account that i've not been withdrawing from from snapchat so the whole time he's been thinking he's printing free money but he never it was never even going to his account he was never even noticing tens of thousands of pounds not going in his account i was only withdrawing like a grand at a time so yeah fuck that's actually so bad yeah i just I thought like it will be going in the bank.

21:56I don't know what the Snapchat payment thing looks like in the bank, but I'm sure it's there. Well, I assume it would just say Snapchat, bro. Turns out it was going to like a hyper wallet. Yeah. A week into living in London, I just opened my hyper wallet.

22:06Chip:That's the rent paid for the year. How much was there? How much was there? How much was there?

22:10Cal:The hyper wallet. How much was there? Just say the number. 99 ,000. We have to become more public with this stuff. All right. How much did you boys do this? Fucking hell. Look who's turned up. Nah.

22:21Chip:This is how we just started. Jesus Christ. Come on in. Shit. Say hello. Fuck off. Shit in the back of the - Come on. Why are you coming with the Wonderland after this? Yeah. Wait, what? Why not? We're getting fucking twisted. Wintzy with Harry, by the way. Yeah, but with the boys post video. The reference Harry's just walked in. Yeah. Harry, we're getting twisted, bro.

22:43Cal:He's actually in the other part of the basement. Harry, you want Captain McGizzy, bro? Come through the window.

22:48Chip:McGlizzy, he's not on it. Are you jumping out for a bit? He's just been playing paddling. No, you can tell though. just give it oh he's just nicking our booze oh good lad mental nah he's getting twisted he's drinking what time is it 123 is that enough to stick him in the title now yeah that's enough that'll do oh my god Harry's got to spin the wheel yeah oh what's Santa's sack getting ravaged again

23:12Cal:oh speaking of

23:14Chip:wait we're not done with the grateful part of the pod the health of my daughter alright let's keep it moving then I'm going to go there, bro, to be honest. Good, good. I don't even want to go there, bro. This is a fella's word about that. I'm grateful for the 60 quid

23:30Cal:that just likes to take your paper. She missed everything. Got no law. Nothing going on. Oh. Bro, did you just fucking check out again? I hate that. Fuck when he does it in that mask. I didn't check out. I was doing it in my own little zinger, but you guys weren't listening. That's what, I think that's what checking out is. No, no, I was talking. Like, you guys were just doing it.

23:51Chip:I'll tell you what I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for recently. I just installed Need for Speed Underground 2 on PC. And I've got it modded with HD reflections and Chrome and that. And it was released in 2004, but I'm playing it as a 30 year old. And like, I've realized that the good times, that was the good times. At least 2004, I was one years old.

24:13Cal:I was nine. That's made me feel fucking ancient. Yeah. You should remember that. I'm such a good game.

24:19Chip:I'm playing through the campaign, bro. You should see the spinners I got on my whip.

24:23Cal:I didn't even know you could do that,

24:24Chip:get like an update. Because it's not licensed anymore. So it's freeware. So you can just download it. Oh, wow. You know that line that you said there that you realise those were the good times? Yeah. That shit hits home. No, you know what we need to do right now? Just one second, one minute silence because we're actually in a good time right now. Yeah. What's the saying where they say like, oh, you don't realise you're in the good times till you're in the good times? Yeah. Just realise. Great silence. Yeah, just realise we're in it right now. Shush. Yeah, this is sick. We're not doing this fucking podcast, bro.

24:58Chip:Nah, this is the good times. Nah, but the viewers are doing it too, bro. Everybody right now. Everyone's got their hands on their hearts because they realise this is a good time, bro. You know the past and the future don't really exist.

25:08Cal:Shut up, bro. What do you mean shut up? It's fucking silence, bro. Minute silence. Gosh, no. Minute silence. We're not doing a fucking minute silence. I'm not going to do four times times of a minute. No, the good times are not gone. So we don't need to do any silence. They're right here. Yeah, come on. I'll tell you when they are. After this pod. After the pod. Are you coming and saying hello or what? Just say hello. What the fuck is going on? They're letting anybody in here. Fucking hell.

25:39Chip:Quickly, quickly. All right, what? You coming with the Wonderland after this? Oh, fuck. Oh, let's go. Look at that shit. Why does Bess look on a leg with this? It's kiss proof.

25:51Cal:It's kiss proof. It's kiss proof. It's kiss proof. Hello chicken. You're okay mate. You look like me? Yeah. Batch and Arthur have just walked up every one day.

25:59Chip:Oh my God. Do you want to come with the Wonderland with us after? Yeah. We're getting, we're getting, we're getting, Chip isn't.

26:05Cal:Why are you not going? I am going. No, he's not going. I'm just recording with Harry after this and I'm going. Nah, but he's not. He's not. If you're free, if you're free, you can come.

26:15Chip:Don't say stuff like that. fake nose on it yeah would you nah what the fuck of course it's fake sort of thing

26:22Cal:Harry I don't know are we still filming yeah yeah yeah

26:25Chip:don't let these guys suck it suck it if you don't want to we're going Hawksmore

26:29Cal:we're going Hawksmore nah he's reliable Harry doesn't do me like that nah he's walking off we can get food after Harry for sure alright alright back with the show

26:40Chip:anyways should we enjoy your episode guys oh is that Becky oh hi Becky

26:44Cal:hi Becky Why is everyone here? Everyone's doing their Christmas apps I think Harry Was just on Bake Off or something He just came here Can we Do the Can we do the Secret Santa? Yeah

27:00Chip:Why not? Yeah, fine Yeah, go on then Why are you so upset about it? No, I've just had to like Change it a bit Now the present's still The exact same present It's just I wanted to present it differently People just took this shit seriously I was walking around London yesterday Can I just say I went in the shop to buy my present and I shut down the whole shop. I've never felt aura like it. Yeah, did you go to the same shop I did? Was it like ring, ring pussy? Somebody told me they saw you. I've never been more glazed. Did you ask them what they bought? Yeah. So he explained to me before we do the present, tell us about the shopping experience.

27:35Chip:What do you mean you shut down the shop? I went in the shop. I bought a specific thing. And as I was walking around with that thing, everyone was staring, stopping me, being like bro you actually getting that and then like all the staff were like nah i beg you have

27:47Cal:me do you think like your person's gonna like this present though i think so is it like something

27:52Chip:you think sick no i think i like it okay yeah okay so as you can tell we've done a secret santa now ab is the only one here that knows who everyone's got stanley's on the edge of losing his job at the moment so we're not gonna we're not gonna poke it poke the bear too much but um He essentially put the results. What made you put it on the podcast? It was 8 p.m. I've been here all day. I was knackered. I know he was doing, he was playing our Raiders. Yeah, he was. He was. Oh, this will do. Yeah, this will do. Fling the dog out. Okay, but, yeah, so we've done a Secret Santa. The budget was a thousand pounds.

28:30Chip:There's a lot of stuff you can get. Can I just say? Oh, no. Let me check all my chats from here. Bro just said, all right, we're doing a Secret Santa. Yours is blank. and then money didn't tell me any price not we didn't set a budget i spent 900 on mine

28:44Cal:pal so whoever the best has got like 20 quid present we didn't really say wait wait one sec

28:49Chip:tempo one sec you know bro said wait wait wait so i never told you we were all spending a grand everybody's got grand whoever's whoever's got bears bro fucking nothing no all right here we go yeah mean right well this is us speaking about amex and that here we go this is even in so whoever i can't wait to find out who bez has got nah i hope it's not ab because he's gone through too much for no it won't be ab oh yeah because your secret sander is blank and then nothing until 1pm say these three words for me cow's massive willy oh that was a different thing though but we don't Today, have you done your thing?

29:38Chip:Yeah, not one price. Right, that's sick. All right, well, I hope that whoever you've got is still happy with the present.

29:45Cal:Okay. I'm actually, you know what, best episodes of you.

29:49Chip:The best episodes of you. I always say. First guest ever, bro. Yeah, it is actually first guest ever. First guest ever, bro.

29:55Cal:You know what, when we do, if we ever fucking wrap this up, last guest as well. It's got to be.

30:00Chip:Remember that one pod in the first studio where we got Bear Wonky? we've done so many of them when when this pod wraps up i'll just run it the fella do you want to just do you want to just take it on okay right guys should we get this come on let's go right uh santa bring in the first secret come on got my pubes attached to your present now ab you're not allowed to guess because you know okay so you're out of this anyways wow i would have guessed this one was for me you know nah This is actually good. So we know what this is. It's a skateboard of sorts, but off the rip, I'm happy. Let me just say that.

30:38Okay, so yeah. You don't guess. That's actually kind of cool. Rip it, bro.

30:45Cal:Oh no. No, wait, wait. What is it? What is it? What is it?

30:52Chip:Now you can wheel that round. You can show that. You can show that. I've got... You've got a skateboard deck and what? I got... What's on the deck, bro? I got a free five. Got some gummies or something. I got a wild punter for you got me this. Oh, no, that is actually fucking sick, though. That is smurf board. That is fucking gaff as well. That's brilliant. We take that. I'm so good.

31:22Cal:You had some sick peas in this. Oh, cheers, bro. There's only one guy that's delivering that. No, that's it. I'm pretty sure that was in it. Was that in the Sidemen crate video? I bought it.

31:36That's actually a great present.

31:37Chip:For not getting the 3 ,000 pound memo. Well, I got previous experience with them sweets. I mean, just tell you, don't eat a whole lot. Shit. Tonight's going to get fucking weird, bro. It's actually going to get mad weird. I did one. Yeah. I ate one on our hike video. What on video? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then, and I got in the big lake and it was amazing. and then we wrapped a video and I went non-verbal the whole way home. The whole way back to that. It was a rollercoaster up there. It was a nightmare. Guess like that. That's the best present I've ever had. Guess like that, bro.

32:16Cal:Oh, bro. Did you just say that's the best present you've ever had? That's the best present I've ever received in my life. Bro, that is actually fucking sick. Supreme Smith's game. That is sick. That was really good. Thank you. Smashed it. Honestly, don't know if that could get beaten. That is actually the best. No, that's really good.

32:29Chip:That's bad news, you know

32:50Chip:World's biggest microwave Maybe walk it on the table it's really heavy So this is... Fucking hell. Fuck me. Yeah, that actually did make a big bang. That leg's going to go in a minute. Nah, look at him.

33:06Cal:Fuck off. Look how giddy bro is. No way. Oh, wait.

33:10Chip:Stan's going back. Stan's fucking off.

33:13Cal:Is it a fucking Death Star? No. Stan. Fuck. Oh, my God. Is it the Lego Death? Oh. Oh!

33:28Most expensive Lego set ever made.

33:30Cal:I know, I know. I've watched people queue up for this one. At fucking midnight. Galileo in them, man. Who's in there? Honestly, bro, I nearly bought this myself. Shut down the Lego shop, bro. Is that what it was? Now I understand why. Everyone was like, everyone was like, nah, he's got the death side. He's got the fucking death side. They couldn't believe it. I was walking in one hand like, this is secret. Spence of his pants. That's actually fucking sick. Thank you. No worries, bro. This is so wholesome.

33:57Chip:I saw him walk in with it and I knew it weren't for me. I didn't get out of cover with it. Oh shit. Yeah. I was Tesco straight away. I saw you go in with it and I was like, yeah, I mean, I actually can't believe that. Yeah. They were actually going insane. How many pieces is that chip? How many pieces? 9 ,023 pieces. You're never doing it. You're never doing it. never doing it bro

34:19Cal:I'll see you in five years I was carrying that around Central like fucking hell now I know now I know why you didn't want to meet me for lunch yeah he was like meet me for lunch I was like we're doing Secret Santa massive Lego bag nah they were like oh so do you collect I was like nah I've never even seen Star Wars and they were like right and I was like nah it's just Secret Santa they were like you're getting a Death Star for Secret Santa yeah I am you don't know how we do it around fellas nah thank you alright next one in please we've had some good

34:47Chip:presents here This is probably one of the best questions ever. Wait, one second. It's really heavy. Like, whack it down, chill. Whack it down. This fucking wanker, mate. Josh, can you? This fucking wanker. He gets invited on Sidemen videos. It's always a fucking spin and you get this or whatever. So now, everyone's going to receive a gift. So now, I can either spin 5K. No, 2K. 2K. 2K or zero. Double your money or nothing. That's two grand. Wait. No, no, no. I've got the other K in my pocket. Yeah. So you can either take the K now or you do the content play, spin for 2K or you walk away with nothing.

35:25Chip:Spin that shit. Oh my God. Oh shit. Holy shit. How do we know if it's 2K? Well, it was saying. If it lands on the 2K one. Fucking non-wielding. So you've just given him a gamble. Yeah, I'm right. Everybody loves a Christmas gamble. And move your head out the way. So I'm using the force real quick. Using Star Wars, bro. Oh, please be zero. Please be zero. I could walk away. Just up and ground here. Fuck off, a little twat. Fuck off. That's in the 2K! That's 2K! No! It's 2! It's a weighted wheel! It's in 2! It's in 2! No! It's literally on 2K! It is on 2! Oh fuck! Hey! Tell you what we're doing now bro!

36:04Hey!

36:04Chip:We've got Fnatic's 2! Hey! We're going out! We're spending that whole thing at Winter Wonderland bro! Yeah! Table in winter, sorry! You still do four for 200, bro. I'm a big man. We need the outs. What? Making it clear. That was good. I'm glad it was on the 2K. That's a good idea. I'm not going to lie. I wanted that on zero. Right, well, obviously.

36:33Cal:He's counting at you fucking man. Making sure he's fucking right.

36:37Chip:Yeah, because you've got to get some little 50 out, bro. This morning, I was money spreading on the bed. It was pretty cold. Not one penny short there, Bez. Don't you worry, bro. That's a good man. Yeah. That's big. Come on bro. Come on Bez. Two G's. Come on bro. Cause you know what? I actually messaged Faith. I messaged Faith. I know that you. You know that I messaged her. Now I knew, I told her, don't fucking say anything. I know that it freezy had me. Cause I got Owen from the shoot. Oh fuck. And Faith went, yeah, Freezy messaged me. Like I'm so suck. Cause I get you stuff for Christmas, but everyone's bare messaging me.

37:10Chip:Like what to get you for Christmas. So Freezy messaged me. And I went, oh yeah, for what? and she went I don't know that's it let me read out my message to Faith because this is that's obscene Faith I've got beef with you now that's fucked me let me go right here that's fucking tasty you know nah we've had some good we've got the Death Star Supreme some fucking Cali gummies so wait I'm the last one

37:33Cal:and that means Chip got me that means I got you which means I got you a medicine golden envelope golden envelope golden envelope you've done really well no I have yeah thank you bro I'm so gassed I just don't know where I'm going to start I lied as well by the way thank you so it not to be not to be ungrateful not to be ungrateful I was throwing all loads of curveball for you off you always bro appreciate it I just topped it up yeah yeah yeah boys boys he's about to open the madness

38:03Chip:I just know this is dog shit bro

38:04Cal:no it's fucking not cost me a lot of money

38:07Chip:oh my god it's going to be tickets to something bit of paper Let me be grateful. It's the time of cheer. Be grateful. You could catch you. Oh, it's a ticket. What does that say?

38:19Cal:What does that say, bro? Where's bro going? Oh my God. Where are you going?

38:23Chip:Got me a trip to Turkey.

38:29Chip:Wait, wait, wait. So you're telling me. Are you going to pay for everything?

38:34Cal:No, I'm getting paid for your flights. and your hotel and your hotel four seasons

38:40Chip:no no no get the other presents out right now he's got money to do it in London though yeah I could just get I'll be getting it done

38:45Cal:no because I know a fucking guy in Turkey push it oh mate Dr. Cynic yeah

38:49Chip:where's Santa Santa bring in the real presents is that actually what you got him

38:52Cal:that is what I got him I just lost I lost the booking thing that you scratch out I had like a boarding pass for you to scratch it and I forgot it no but that's like genuinely well obviously that is good He's not even going to go to Turkey for it. Of course he's going to go to Turkey. He fucking needs me. He's going to go do it in London, bro. Are you actually going to do that? Because I can change it. TFL pass. You know what? Go to Turkey anyway, mate. Also, bodrum.

39:19Chip:Go on bodrum, you are. How much? I'll give you 20 quid for a kiss, mate. What, are you not doing side bets on the pod? What's going on here?

39:25Cal:You don't realise he's going fucking bodrum for a little holiday.

39:29Chip:Pay 20 quid to lips up the leg one on the pod. My little tart. My little tart. You're a brass. You're a brass.

39:41Chip:For gingerbread man. Right. The rest of the presents are down there on the side. For who? For cow.

39:47Cal:Oh, you got tons in mate. Back to ruin in a fucking bit. There's like eight there mate. No, you weren't dragging it. Just give me my shit right now.

39:54Chip:There's eight there. Yeah, but that's a lot of shit. It's going to be like monoxidil and that. I've already got life time. You've got so many. You've got so many presents, bro.

40:04Cal:I'm going to be real with you, bro. I obviously struggled to buy for you because you're the man that actually has everything, I think. And I didn't want to get you the one thing you love most, which is palatials.

40:14Chip:I'd get them out. Okay, so where'd you get me? We said no cards, so I know you didn't get me.

40:17Cal:I didn't get any cards, but I've got you stuff that honestly anybody here could fucking have. There's no fault behind this shit, bro. Oh, sweet. Actually, there is one thing here that you said you wanted and I went back through my WhatsApp chat to find it. Okay. It might not be this one, though. Let me just pretend to be fair. These are all just kind of like, I'm going to be honest. Is it the fucking pen?

40:37Chip:Benjamin. Did you get that fucking pen?

40:38Cal:No, bro. No, I didn't. I didn't get the pen. I did not get the pen. I did not get the pen.

40:44Chip:Thank God. Oh, is it Oakley's? Oh, the over-camera one. This is pretty cool. No, I did.

40:52Cal:I went back through Carl's Instagram to find what kind of glasses he was wearing. Can I tell you? It's the exact same style. These are excellent to wear during golf.

41:00Chip:Okay.

41:00Cal:Metas are great. And I know you don't like the nerdy ones, so I had to get you the Oakley one. Thank you, bro. This is actually a good present. You actually delivered. Yeah. The other two are a bit fucking dog shit, but this is good. Okay. That is a good gift. I thought this was good. When I saw them, I was like, oh, and they played music out of them and everything. I was like, got to get them here. You didn't actually get them anything to Turkey, Bro, the thing, no. Yeah, okay. No, he's not going to Turkey. Why are we going to Turkey? Just Turkey. Yeah. Am I going to fuck up the hole? Do they even fit you bro?

41:28Cal:Wow

41:29Chip:Holy shit

41:30Cal:Oh yeah Fuck me Cyborg Yeah You fucking it up bro There we go Look at this shit Locked in

41:38Chip:Thank you very much This is sick Thank you Chip I actually think that's quite useful

41:41Cal:No you did actually That's a good point I thought what Fucking skiing Golf All that shit Yeah Alright we got more to come

41:48Chip:Wow bro You got so many gifts Kind of jealous Yeah Wait what do you mean You got two grand You can spend on whatever the fuck you want Fucking rich Bro you're lucky I think he flinched at that point.

41:57Cal:The guy in Selfridges was trying to be like, does he take meetings? I was like, yeah, he's a CEO. He does that kind of shit. And he was like, oh, get him this thing that you attach to your t-shirt and it records fucking meetings. I was like, no, I'm doing that. Can't remember what this is.

42:10Chip:Was this an aura ring? Something like that. Great. Ultra human. Yeah, sweet bro. Sleep HRV the words. Yeah, nice. Thank you, bro. This is like real Christmas.

42:19Cal:It's like the one that doesn't require a subscription as well. I was like, fuck that. My missus wears an aura ring.

42:24Chip:Yeah? Yeah. That's sick. I swear

42:26Cal:alright that means it must be okay right do I just get an actual figure this one this one snake oil salesmanship but I think it looks sick I thought it looks sick bro is it the pen nah nah it's not the pen is it that like aftershave that they sell by King's Cross the oud one this is some new technology bro this is something new

42:46Chip:oh this is a snake oil thing some water filtration he went round that Selfridges tech zone and just went yeah that'll do you've lost your mind

42:57Cal:no get this out get this out right because I need to see this in the flesh I've been gassing it off all day I nearly bought one for myself bro it is a water bottle but it turns your water into hydrogen water I've seen them yeah thank you very much appreciate it honestly bro I tried it you should have seen me I was bouncing around Selfridges you tried it yeah that one felt like a real like actually watching like a dad open Christmas gifts and he's actually finally got some a good for me no I'm actually buzzing with this stuff yeah no thank you

43:25Chip:Okay, yeah, mate you smashed it.

43:27Cal:Oh boys. Well done. What shit? It's hard to buy for. Oh, yeah Well done. Good. Very good. We smashed that.

43:33Chip:That was brilliant Everyone's hit. Yeah, I think everyone had a good no one missed one. Oh, imagine Vincent on zero right now That'd be unreal.

43:40Cal:Guess what Truffle Pig was trying to get me to buy Well, obviously text Truffle Pig saying yo like cars hard to buy for like what should we get? She goes, oh, we could do with a new rock

43:52Cal:I was like no that's fucking fair enough I had to message Sabina saying like it's the fucking Sambuca alarm that's what that is I know what that alarm is

44:02Chip:it's time to dip into Santa's sack again oh Santa's sack put the Sambuca away it's not the Sambuca alarm that was the Sambuca alarm anyway it was the Sambuca alarm Santa's sack time we'll be doing the forfeit and the Sambuca All right, shall I spin the wheel then boys? Now, do you want to know what? Let's flip it around. Let's find out who's going to do it and then they can open up their forefell with a Sambuca shot. Why have we got that here now? What do you mean? Here we go. Why are you getting bare side about it, bro? Grow up, man. Move your scalp. It's a bit of a fucking long wheel, isn't it?

44:39Chip:Well, you keep absolutely ripping it. It's fine. Here we go. Here we go. Nah, that's... Chip. Chip. That's on Chip. That's on Chip. Sambucis. Chip. All right, Chip, here you go. Sambuki cats. Please be somewhat fucked. Because my shin still stings. No, it doesn't. It does. It does. I'm not lying about that. The number of Harry Maguire. By the way, some of these are like group ones, so you might get away with it.

45:03Cal:I'm going to be impressed, bro. Read it out. You're fucking taking a fucking piss. It's so many fuckers. You're taking... I'm not doing that. No, read it out, is it? I'm not doing that. I'm not doing... How much money do you think I've got? I do have a lot. Donate 500 quid to a charity of your... Oh, wow.

45:22Chip:What a generous man. Oh, you're a good man, you, Tim. Can I just say all them presents are out of our own money as well? Yeah. It's not even on some fellowship. No. You are actually just making me spend like... No, he's spending a bit today. Give it a rest. You seen your gaff? You know, he actually did get that board from the Sidemen vid. Because it was a fucking crate that I picked. A skate crate. No, I'm gassed with it. The gummies ain't cheap The gummies are not cheap I believe you bro How much of the gummies Best A decent whack mate And I risked my life Getting them My reputation I'm an ambassador For a charity Okay What charity would you like Teenage Cancer Trust Is Dogs Trust still about Oh yeah Is Dogs Trust still about Yeah I like that

46:04Cal:It's a good one I used to adopt dogs I've found something Waking me up Let's do something I'd pay like five a month And you get like a picture Of a Jack Russell And I'd be like Oh it's your dog But like a hundred man I own him, so. All right. Your dog is getting bit of a split. What do you want? You want dog eat dogs? What? What sort of dog charity? Dog trust.

46:24Chip:Yeah.

46:24Cal:All right. Cool.

46:26Chip:Go on, Chip. Go on, Chip.

46:27Cal:All right.

46:27Chip:Well done, Chip. Sacked up your whole shit. You ain't done it, though.

46:29Cal:Well, obviously, I'm going to do it. Now, send it right now. Go on, then. 250 each way. Go on, then. Just give him. 250. It's 500, though. No, 250 to each one. Oh, you want to do? Let's just do one. What? It says one charity.

46:46Chip:just do it after the pub because you're not going to do it the tight bastard he's not doing his forfeit bro

46:52Cal:I will you can't not do a forfeit

46:54Chip:he's got to do a Sambuca shot as well you do you literally do we all do that's a group thing there's a lot of breaks in this episode isn't there alright no more breaks from now on yeah you're not getting into flow state are you no can't alright well give us talk about something Give us a topic What do you want to talk about? I've been doing nothing all week Surely you've got shit to happen Like what happened in your life this week? The mouse That's it We've talked about Gus He's done it Well done Chip Thank you 500 to Dogs Trust 500 to Dogs Trust Is that where it all went? The teenagers got binned off I'll just handle that one by myself Ask what he's been up to He's a guest Yeah Nah he's not a guest though is he?

47:37Chip:He's just him I'm part of the fucking furniture man I'll do whatever I fucking want What have you been up to this week man? Need for speed only round two Fuck out I parented Yeah Pretty hard I streamed a little bit What's the worst thing about parenting? Oh I don't know Actually I know it's going to sound cliche But at the minute We're at the really fun bit She's actually not a prick At all anymore There's not one bit Really Left now We're actually in the golden But then it returns It might return Yeah But I think it'll return more for Faith Than it returns for me Yeah it tends to be like I don't know When they're in school They just beef the mum Sees me like The goat Oh really?

48:14Chip:That was I do all the fun shit Yeah So Yeah You're supposed to de-influence me here I filmed something Okay I filmed something Mad you know Really? Yeah I filmed something mad bro Is it like a collab? You filmed with a bunch of people Or just Yeah Couple Couple man Couple people Couple giao Oh wow Okay so this is a big video Yeah mad ting What else did y 'all do? What else have I done bro? Oh I've started training I'm sleeping well remember yeah since November the 26th I haven't dropped below a 96 sleep score wow yeah sleeping proper I don't even know what that means but I feel like I sleep well I trained legs yesterday jump alright yeah I love how everyone gets on to me about this because my up is just so good you ever done that bro you ever done a lat raise you dweeb I think Gal are looking at your legs shut up bro trust me bro these fucking these hamstrings and quads I suffocate you with these bro tasty little turkey I really wanted to bro I'd choke you out with my thighs that's weird bro that's actually like as a girl ever when you know when you're getting down to it has she ever gone like oh what look you little dweeby legs bro how's that supposed to take me to pound you literally can't even hip thrust me no but you can't train legs because then it makes you knob a lot bigger it's all about perspective so you've actually got tiny wood I'm ood maxing ood maxing yeah I've been training proper again though so that's why I think I've been sleeping well so that's a good thing that is a good thing yeah man Chip snoring in the corner but this fucking mask he's like I'm struggling to breathe watch what's happening he's not oxygen maxing bro he can't breathe

49:52Cal:he's gonna pass out like I'm breathing my own fucking breath really tough to like stay awake fucking high oh what you taking bro

50:06Chip:oh shit we filmed Among Us with Peanut oh shit yeah oh yeah this is your new favourite YouTuber I recently found out what a VTuber was goop goop goop goop what the fuck's that we're about to goop up at Winter of Underland bro we're gonna goop what are we getting on the goop getting a bit goopy with it nah Burn Peanut bro let me tell you about Burn Peanut it's kind of like stealing your flow a little bit he did try a little bit so basically he was just a normal Twitch streamer yeah that was like normal face cam all that yeah then he switched to just being a peanut yeah he looks like that all the time on stream yeah oh that's quite bro bro he's blown up he gets like 40 50 games bro but he's amazing it's the funniest shit ever bro what he's funny bro he's hilarious but then also that just adds to it bro is he american yeah yeah that'll be so good on among We did one with Ninja, didn't we?

51:06Not longer.

51:07Chip:Yeah, that's supposed to be out. I'm so scared about that one, man. I always get told, like, Truffle Pig's always telling me, like, trying to give me tips, like, yo, you gotta be quiet in the air. You talk way too much. No, you just beefed everyone nonstop. Yeah, I just take over. Yeah, that's a real... And you know what? I see a lot of comments about, like, main character syndrome. No, you know what? And they're right. They're right. Because when I rock up to something, I think this has to be about me. Maybe when you're... You're just alpha, bro. No, because... I feel like that as well sometimes, bro.

51:37But I feel like sometimes there's just silence and you're like, someone's got to feel this silence. I'll do it.

51:41Chip:I can't deal with silence. No, I'm like, if someone's waiting for a bit, I'll give them a fucking bit. Like, what are we doing here? Is everyone charging up or what? Yeah. So the Among Us series, I rarely get a call up. So when I do, it's like, I'm like, nah, I'm so gassed. It's my favorite thing to record. Because you know, Truffle Peak watches it. You know, like when you're like, your little school girlfriend come to watch you play football and you try a bit hard. Is that what you're doing? That's me. Because I know she's like ranking my performance. So I've got to put on a show. And I'll be honest, I'm pretty sure in that episode, I did put on a show.

52:11Chip:You did. You were good. I'm just terrified of the comments. I said about five words. Chip goes nonverbal, bro. To be fair, in my first one, I was fully nonverbal, but it was after our fellas camping when we had like one hour sleep. You know what it is?

52:22Cal:When you're imposter, right? When I'm imposter, and because like, I'm like struggling to play the game already, I'm like, I go a bit nonverbal because I'm like, if I say something, I'm going to give away that I'm imposterous. The thing is, there's no excuse in the big 2025 you're struggling to play a moment. Bro, I don't play it. I don't actually know the... Neither do I. Neither do I. It's the easiest game, bro. Yeah, I know it's not difficult, but the other day, when we were playing, someone was talking about why were you here when Reactor was going off. I didn't even know what I fucking meant.

52:47You should know that then. That's what I mean. I don't know what I mean. Just say Sideman at least, bro. Yeah, yeah.

52:51Cal:I think I picked up towards the end a bit. More Sideman was my number one on YouTube rap. Was it? Because I just watched

52:59Chip:Yeah, wait, what's the worst Among Us person that does it? Probably me. Just stop making it about you. Stop being so sad, bro. Cheer up. I actually am definitely the worst player.

53:11Cal:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen him.

53:13Chip:Nah, trust me.

53:15Cal:I don't know if there is. Ooh, I don't.

53:17Chip:Is there anybody that you see in the lobby and you go, shot?

53:20Cal:No, there's no one. Yeah, you're done, buddy. Can I have another side? It's me, bro. Because I know Joe Weller. Ooh. Was he bad? Him on Among Us was hilarious. Yeah, he did. or any meetings and you just vote best. I, what? Side of please bro. Probably clicking the fingers. That's crazy.

53:39Chip:Can I have a side of please bro? Yeah. There's no, I'm talked because I'll die and I'll just fuck off around the house and like go and get a drink or something. I don't do anything. If I die, I just leave the video. Yeah. Or like, because sometimes the ghosts speak to each other. Did they keep that in? There was like a meme where it was like, if you die at the same time as Bez, just know you're not speaking to him. I leave I leave What did you kill me bro What do you want me to do Sit here and go Oh I wonder what he's gonna do I don't give shit I'm dead bro No see that I love that I go like Nah guys who's the imposter I don't think you understand When I'm there And I'm doing it Like I get Nah I'm locked in You see my camera angle Yeah it's like right in front of me You'll see me like this bro My legs up on the foot Fucking thing like this Foot massage Just fucking Not even bro Just fucking doom scrolling Mid meter Just doesn't give a fuck Surely though You'd sack off all main channel activities go all in on Among Us for sure.

54:32Chip:That would be the plan. Because sometimes I can't bear it. There's nothing like it, bro. When like, when like people have got to install the mods and stuff and you're there for like two and a half hours. Yeah, that's why I just rock it to me. No, it's Jeff. It's literally Jeff. I'll be honest, bro. Some of them mods, some of them dev. No, but it's even like the best one ever was Deji and JJ. Deji had been around JJ's gaff and apparently he changed his desktop password or whatever. they're just been arguing we're meant to have recorded an hour ago he's shouting at him Dej why'd you change my fucking password what are you talking about I wasted two hours of my life I can never get back

55:10Cal:me when I rock up and all the mods aren't fucking working I had to just stop playing who's the best guest you've had on it

55:17Chip:oh started squealing when I found out Ninja was in my lobby Ninja's pretty cool that was so weird biggest fanboy moment for me is peanut at the minute. Oh, yeah. Because I want to tap fucking... I need to tap in. Bro, you need to tap into peanut, bro. It's so good. It's the best, bro. So are you playing our greaters then, too? I've dabbled in it, but I don't have a goon squad to roll with. Oh, you can play with us. Join me and Chip. We go topside on the ranks, man. He's just sucking Elliot off like that. We had a good session the other day. Us three had a good session the other night. Bro, I need to goop with you.

55:49Cal:Then didn't play with us again. Yeah. He said, boys, I'm going to hop off.

55:52Chip:I'm not really feeling it I need a goop squad bro I ain't gooped with anyone I just don't think it makes much sense What do you mean? You go out into the world You fucking goop bro You raid shit and then you get out Yeah It's like And Amos have the best shit We technically won and did a good job But we didn't kill or see anyone Are you not every day in real life Just heading out the house To go and get better bro I don't leave the house bro That's what you're doing bro Your real life raiding bro That's what you do You leave the house You go out You get better bro I don't leave the house There's nothing to do in London Alright you little sadder What?

56:16Chip:Like every time I leave the house Yeah bro I've gooped better I have more experience bro yeah nah I'm moving back up north I actually see that for you bro yeah you don't belong I'll be honest nah I tell you what I love London for the motives and that but with my YouTube I'm like nah I don't know what to fucking do here on YouTube what do you mean though same shit bro same shit what for now yeah just three vlogs in a row for now just jump in a cheap so what were you doing back at home that you can't do in London I was doing nothing but in a way cooler place I was doing nothing but I was still in like a cottage in the woods.

56:49Go on a nitty tour. To watch. Now I'm just like with a fucking mouse in my fucking back. Go on a nitty tour.

56:54Chip:Like literally just go to like some really like dodgy. Yeah. And just meet nitties. You should just go to areas of London and be like, I'm exploring this area. Brixton, Peckham, Shepherds Bush. Yeah. Just go. I'm meeting nitties today, bro. Yeah, but that's what I'm going to have a convo with a nitty. That's a sick vlog. You know what you should do? Set yourself one challenge. Deep interview with a knit bag, bro. That's insane. Oh, it's quite good. Yeah. What a vlog bro I just need security No Say bro I'm going to take your shop I'm going to get you Whatever you want Just chat to me Then they'll be like Alright this guy's got money Yeah chat I'm getting gang banged In an alleyway I've seen top boy I've seen top boy No you're not meeting gang members You're meeting knit bags No same thing bro Oh why don't you just get Where there's knit bags There's gang members bro How do you think Them knit bags are getting Their knits

57:37Cal:Why don't you go Epping forest You got that place Where you park your car And it rolls uphill bro Oh see Hangman's hill That's from Mayans Yeah

57:46Chip:I remember No, go in Hangman's Hill. YouTube Hangman's Hill, please, yeah? Yeah, this is a cool thing. You got a Logan Paul vlog? Nah, this shit's insane. It's not even like a forest, bro. It's a road. All right. You turn your car off completely, yeah? Yeah. Nothing happening. And for some reason, you go uphill. Is that a real thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

58:03Cal:I've done it myself. Hangman Hill. How's that possible? YouTube. Yeah. Hangman's Hill. There'll be a reason. No, I'm sorry.

58:09Chip:Yeah, this is voodoo. Essex is magical, bro. This is witchcraft. In its own special way. Here we go. Look at this Right Just wait a sec Bro You go hangman's hill Look This shit's insane bro Cause apparently Bare people used to get hung On the trees in this little patch Oh sick Yeah So she's not pressing anything Nah bro Nah she's just going up What the fuck No watch here on the left Look look look Car's walking on the hill Oh shit See that shit bro Hangman's hill bro It's mental Why is that a thing? It's just life. Is there an actual explanation? No. Ghosts have got hung on the hill, bro. They're pulling it up.

58:46Chip:It is crazy, but yeah. No, it's something to do with some weird sort of fucking crazy optical illusion. Oh, so it's not fair. Here she goes. Look, nothing happening, bro. She's going uphill. How are you moving, bro? That is insane. Yeah. Wow. She's going uphill, bro. Take the whip. I don't have a whip here. Take the shagging. No, go over. What happened to the shagging? It's alive. You've given it away by the time you go back to it. Nah, my mum's boyfriend uses it for work. What? Call rocking for work. It doesn't have my face on it anymore. I got that off when them lot came from Bradford and deflated the tires in a car park.

59:24That's kind of crazy. Rewin my whole vibe. Like while I was on stream as well, I saw a TikTok house. That's just happened.

59:29Chip:You actually, me and Chip were talking about this. You're the worst for like crashing out. Yeah. On stream. I've been nibbling bad yesterday as well. What'd you do yesterday? Because I went away to film this cool vid. and fucking couldn't upload a vlog. So I was like, all right, there's no vlog this week. And like, everyone's just like, oh, so you move London and you stop posting. And then I'm like replying to every single one, like, bro, I've been ill, I've been doing it. And then I was like, everyone's like, stop giving in to rage, mate. I was like, fine. And then a guy put on my Snapchat, I put a photo on my KFC and he was like, bro, just order a bonus banquet instead of the separate part.

1:00:02It's so out of touch these YouTubers, man. And I did order a bonus banquet. They just sent it in bags. And I just replied like, it is a bonus banquet. you fucking miserable fuck. And then everyone was like, why are you crashing out? So I deleted that. And then I was like, I'm not nibbling anymore. And then someone was like, do you even post on YouTube anymore? And then I put like, did you read the fucking rest of the stories? And I'm like, nah, I delete that. When I'm stressed, I nibble every time, bro. Are you always stressed? Yeah. You need a gummy, bro. Yeah. I don't know the leg works.

1:00:36Chip:I quite like it. Oh, we were just getting in flow state we actually started a podcast we became a podcast for a second we were speaking nightmare alright guess what it's time to spin the wheel I'll do it briefly spin that wheel here we go move your foot my feet alright up here yeah yeah it's alright ooh oh bears again no no no yeah man that's the first one yeah dip into Santa's big sack I'm scared of a fucking forfeit Could it be good? Oh, Chip, you actually gonna build that? Yeah, 100%. Here we go, guys. Number three. Ooh. Oh, man. I don't even know what they are, those forfeits. If Bez gets a bad one, he does get in a bad mood, so I actually hope it's a bad one.

1:01:24Chip:What are you talking about? His vibe's on 100, bro. I'm getting mash-up today. Pass the parcel! Oh! It's a group. Okay. That's what you get when you know you leave the house, and you're just on unlimited vibes. The universe saw me step out my door today. He saw me step out the door today and it was like, yeah, bro, this guy's mad. And he's like quite good gift. Shut up, man. Just pass it. It's questions. All right. Okay. All right. How does this... Oh, he's going to play a tune? Yeah. I don't know if I can play a tune. Play Sidemen Christmas Drillings. Do we get copyrighted for it? I'll just sort it out.

1:01:59Chip:Oh, that's my boy. I'll try my best. I was going to say that. Oh, that's shit. No, get that off, bro. No, this is a tune. No, it's not. All right. Pass it then. Pass it parcel. This one's a really tough listen. This one's a really tough listen. Oh, it's on the air. I'm fucking pissed. That's not how you play the game. No, but it is. That's just parcel. So what have you got? Oh. And a gift. No, just let it. There's a gift at the bottom. That's a bit you pass. understood

1:02:38Cal:yeah I have the he's got another piece of paper

1:02:44Chip:who in UK YouTube would you least like to spend Christmas day with is that just for you yeah you can all chip in if you like nah you're all good

1:02:58there's gotta be a good like there's gotta be a good easy answer here

1:03:01Chip:yeah go for someone else don't go for the obvious one.

1:03:09Chip:I love him, but I'll say Danny Aaron. Oh, okay. Yeah. Bye. It's just fucking mental. yeah you're scaring all of them he's at christmas that's around right pass the parcel scaring the family

1:03:28Chip:oh that was aiming still playing still playing oh is it that's a drop oh my bad oh i think that was chip it's still in chip's hand it was still in chip's hand

1:03:38Cal:more fun if it's A &E another question nah Ah, this is going to be a bad one, I can tell.

1:03:48Chip's about to send for someone.

1:03:50Chip:Go on, Chip. Done there, Clark. Read it out. Don't read it. Just read it out as you read it.

1:03:55Cal:What's a gift you've received that you hated so much you can sit and throw and get away immediately? I like that. That's fucking shit, man. Say the Death Star and I'll smack you up. That's tough. I don't... Fucking hell.

1:04:08Chip:Can't wait for a shaky P. Oh, bro. No, I don't have anything like that. There's definitely been a present that you've got. Like Sabina's got, I didn't actually need it.

1:04:18Cal:Nah, she got me this shirt that was shit and I made her send it back. I was like, I'm not going to wear that. You send it back, keep the money. That's so mean. I kind of rated for telling her. She was like, I kind of took a risk. I was like, honestly, like... It's not paid off.

1:04:38Cal:I said, yeah, oh, fuck her. fucking yeah that's like telling the barber you got a shit trim yeah you need to work at risk management and love because that's fucking washed

1:04:51but I was still grateful you're a fat priest I realise you don't even want it because it's just a question

1:04:56Chip:oh that is bears he got it off early he did nice one

1:05:00Cal:not messing about Stanley was trying to get inside on AB yeah he was

1:05:04Chip:hold the mic for me

1:05:05Cal:is this one better for AB I don't know I can't really remember oh my god Bro's got 20 quid sticking out of his pocket little harlot

1:05:13Chip:oh wait it's underneath it's underneath look it's underneath little harlot I don't like that at all can I have some of that cash? there is a present in there isn't there 2 G's I can't believe I lost you know what he's down like 500 as well I'll tell you what we do yeah we just go in there and just open up everything in there live in the flesh yeah let's do it give me Kanye vibes you know that have you ever given someone a gift that you found lying around in your house what was it What about re-gifting again? Yeah.

1:05:44Chip:I recently found a Supreme Spokeful in my office. And what about re-gifting it? I don't give a shit about skateboards. And someone else would appreciate it more. Yeah. Be honest. You already have the gummies as well, didn't you? I've eaten a half a pack already. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. Those ones are sealed though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just saying you're up. Yes. Yes. There he is. There is actually a gift at the end, by the way.

1:06:12Cal:Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce. Is there a gift as well?

1:06:16Chip:There is actually a gift at the end. I forgot, yeah. There is a gift. Okay, I actually do want this then. Oh, this one's fucked. This one's really bad, boys. No, it is. I don't know if we could put it in. Which person here would you least trust with organizing Christmas dinner? Oh. Nah, I'm not going to lie. Fucking hell, that's so deep. Nah, there's only one person here that I know. Oh. Nah, you know what? He's the top of the list. It's like, have you seen this gaff? It's Winter Wonderland in there.

1:06:40Cal:Yeah, but that's not mainly me, is it? I don't know if I can take the credit for that. What, the food guy?

1:06:45Chip:You pick the food guy for making sure the Christmas dinner? He's got a whole family, like they're doing whole like spreads. I know Faith is on that shit, but like Europe's still on the... It's not Faith, it's Ben. Yeah, it's Ben. I know, but like, he knows what a spread looks like. I'm nibbling now, right now, because that's fucked. Yeah, because Ben told me like, you can't, you don't have to wash your clothes in the washing machine. You got battered on your cook-off, bro. Don't chat to me. You just don't know how to do shit. I've never wanted to cook off. You made a fucking... He made a breakfast...

1:07:08Chip:He made a breakfast bat when I made homemade steak, homemade chips and green beans all in half hour, bro. Fucking cow, man. 100 % cow. 100%. You're the food guy, but you don't make the food.

1:07:21Cal:I know you are so wrong. I'm actually so... You can't do household shit. I'm not the way he's... No, I agree. I agree. I made it feel less than less than in not crashing out, by the way. Because he's so upset. I've been practicing stoicism. No? Oh shit. That's all.

1:07:37Chip:This is the present I think. That's not. Fuck! I should have held that shit. This is the present. This is the present. I can feel it. There's no more rappers. Oh yes. Oh my god. Deep question. Deep question. If this is actually a deep question, everyone else got the softball. I'm going to kick off. What's your most traumatic childhood memory? Mama's who would have wanted to spend Christmas day with bro? I've had to dig someone out.

1:08:03Chip:can't lie bro we're getting disgusting we're getting disgusting bro this is it pure geese rich we're gonna fuck okay what's the biggest waste of money you've ever spent during christmas period i'm sacking over about these just do overall waste of money yeah uh my biggest ever waste of money was my car i spent a hundred grand on it and it's now worth about 38 and i don't even think about i don't even know where it is that mate they really are they actually that yeah so funny thing with your car they oh funny thing is it funny yeah it is funny because they overproduced these little shit fucking boxes yeah overproduced them thinking that yeah this is the fucking heat uh guess what no one wanted them so now they're just selling them for like even retail bro you can yeah whatever you want yeah thank you bro that's actually why i fucking said it in the first place you little dick dead moment silent car in it bro why would you stop oil bro see you with orange paints bro pulls out a gaff going

1:09:06Chip:no one can let me pull off the lights yeah what you're gonna pull up to your pull up to truffle pig going no one knows when you're pulling up to the function bro no one knows ghost

1:09:24Cal:just fucking played it but you guys no come on

1:09:32Chip:oh my god i know what it is is it gnomes no Oh, it only makes sense for us. Is it?

1:09:52Cal:Fucking empty can.

1:09:54Chip:It's your new Pepsi can. It's the vintage cans. No, it's the upgraded special edition one. Let me drop something for you one time. That new shit. All right, you, man. That's for the set. Drop my Pepsi Max.

1:10:05Cal:Free fucking brand deal for him. Finish the bar. Drop my Pepsi Max. You know, that's facts.

1:10:11Chip:Now, finish the bar, guys. What? I dropped my Pepsi Max. Go on. I said it before. Cantonese. Now, by the way, see finally. Okay. So, you know, you know, we, we're doing the fellas award show. I said that this clip should have been it's a workshop over the year. It's a wardrobe. I played it and these are literally went, I said, no, it's not. This is a top five clip. There is a specific search. It doesn't land in the meat in the moment. Yeah. There's a specific search on Tik TOK for Pepsi Max Cantonese. And guess what? That was brewed up in this little fucking... That was the most insane bar. Yeah, come on, bro.

1:10:50Chip:Bar that up. Yeah. Now, I just want to let you know that these lot don't fuck with you like that. Yeah, I should weigh you in, really. I don't know what I was talking about. Should we just talk about some deep shit, bro? Like... Yeah. Yeah, go on. What's your biggest regret in life? Go on, let's trauma down real quick over Christmas. Biggest regret? I don't really have many. I've kind of ended up where I wanted to be. Shut up, man. I'll just hit the...

1:11:13Cal:you can't have

1:11:14Chip:or a fireman for the clip

1:11:16Cal:you can't change it what are you finding? yeah I've been reading stoic literature good Ryan Holiday I bet yeah surface level stuff buddy what's the one thing that you learnt from stoicism? if you can't change it don't think about it and what that means is what he's done there and that's what that's all about is like guys guys are gonna be guys boys will be boys I fuck with that bro guys be dudes

1:11:52Chip:alright Bez what's your one life advice one life advice yeah like a little line a motivational quote Christmas one uh uh just be normal man yeah fuck with that like just even like our silly little lives yeah they're best stupid and like we're just hit the jackpot at the right time yeah but just be a normal person don't be a prick man yeah it's so easy you hit the gummies bro it's just so easy to not be a prick man a lot of people struggle with that bro with that heavy so like just don't be a prick man shit you're breathing like Darth Vader in the corner bro I need you to say something what's your what's your like you've been hit with a tranquilizer dart bro's on the kettle man

1:12:34Cal:he's playing to sleep I'm not a fucking arse hammer do the best that you can do what you woke up for that what you chuffed like a horse after God God bed is morning just to fucking dish out that down what are you meant to be if I had 10 million pounds alright you do you do bro yeah you know what that's fucking valid do you want 10 mil do you want 10 million pounds

1:12:57Chip:yeah but

1:12:58Cal:alright okay

1:12:58Chip:probably had it

1:13:00Cal:that's no problem okay now would you want that 10 million pounds if I told you that you wouldn't wake up tomorrow

1:13:10Cal:You wouldn't be alive tomorrow. Would you still take it? Yeah, because my child would have it. No, it's not.

1:13:17Chip:It's not part of the bed, bro.

1:13:19Cal:Where to go then?

1:13:20Chip:No, she's going to inherit what's wrong. So you're going to give me it, yeah? I'm going to say. You cannot take it and you will be alive tomorrow. Yeah, that's fine. Fine. Yeah, so you want that instead. Yeah. Okay, so. I never moved. Like I said, bro, I stepped out of the house.

1:13:34Cal:What that means is waking up is worth more than 10 million pounds. So just take every day in stride and enjoy it, bro. What he said, bro. Yeah. It's a thinker. I fuck with that. It's a thinker. Just let it sit. I withdraw something from the Snapchat. We're going nuts after this. I already have withdraw this morning. Yeah.

1:13:53Chip:He prepped. Prepped with the big one. What was the hyper one? This is so funny. There was one thing on it. It's like, is Faith mad at Christmas? Yeah, bro. She's vex. No, I mean Stanley's levels at this show You know what I mean

1:14:07Cal:No, it's Babe Christmas Madness She's mad about Christmas

1:14:11Chip:Yeah, we got three Christmas trees That is actually a bit It's pathetic, yeah

1:14:15Cal:Why not just have one big one? We've seen his gaff chill out You know what I mean We were at his birthday Fucking went off Yeah, it's fucking different, bro You're wearing a little shoebox 500 square foot Nah, he's crashing out Bro's living in the manor You've still got one Yeah, we're just there

1:14:30Chip:Oh, is it crashing out from the... Oh, he's actually lost it. Nah, just can't. It's sticky. I feel like I've been jizzed on. This is like placebo. Yeah. I feel like I should be... Like, every time I look at it, I'm a bit like... The glue's doing me editing now. Oh, I can't even notice. Yeah, we got three Christmas trees and each one is just ridiculous and it's fucking me off big time. Have you been tempted by those people that come around to you? Yeah, if you pay them like 15, 20K and they decorate you at the... No, we got our... We bought our own lights and wreath for the outside and the gardeners did it yesterday.

1:14:59Chip:Okay. Yeah. You need a little nighttime pick of the gaff. Yeah. Trust me, it's going to go off though because we've got this gigantic reef that goes on. You've seen it. You know, like you come down the drive. We're going to have like a big... The one mile drive. Bro, I had to do a 5K to get my Deliveroo case. Do you know what's fun? I actually did a 5K on my drive. Yeah, easily. That's fucking insane. It's a fucking manor. Ah. So we've got a massive reef, like ridiculous thing that's going to go in the middle of the house and you drive up to it. And then like in the middle, midsection, you know where the little porch comes out, we got lights that go all the way around it so it looks like fucking gingerbread ass you get me that is sick come on bro you know my thing yeah why don't you want to watch it hey i might get a tree yeah yeah that'll impress the galda yeah have you had a girl around yet no what no why

1:15:50Cal:are you in london sorry yeah work god forbid a white boy lock in boys fucking hell bro you need to take the mask off. Why? I'm just laughing

1:16:00Chip:every sentence. Fucking pain. Wait, who are you meant to be there?

1:16:05Cal:Grinch. God, he fucking... Don't make me say that word. What? Are you fucking asterisks or something, bro?

1:16:16Chip:Boxing Day football has been a hit this year. There will only be one Premier League game on.

1:16:21Cal:Whoa. No. It's United as well.

1:16:24Chip:Is it? That is actually some woke bullshit though. I fucking hate it Big time hate it

1:16:29Cal:Why is it actually What's the reason

1:16:30Chip:There's nothing better Than getting fucking Wankered on Christmas day Waking up Yeah And then just sitting And watching football All day long Yeah Yeah Thing is I've got another Christmas on Boxing Day So I've never even Got to do that So Bambi's got two Christmases And you do too Yeah I've got two Christmases Got my Halifax Christmas You talking about Bambi's in Yeah That was how he got famous Bambi's got two Christmas Yeah, it's all good. Why don't you bring back those TikToks? I only know you as your family. Yeah. I don't even have a car anymore. I can't even do that. Go on, reel it back one time.

1:17:08Hit the seat. Oh, I just burped in my mouth.

1:17:10Chip:Fuck it! Yes! He did the thing! Now we're going to have an edit where it transitions into the car one and it'll just go off. Everyone be like, nah, prime AB, prime AB. Oh, that's one thing called we're doing at Christmas that we do regularly now as the boys. What? Fucking darts. yes we're gonna be there fucking love it we are there January one yeah are you coming to that yeah oh my god are you actually making your debut yeah you've never been to the darts we're getting twisted I know nothing I still got the video of Theo being tripped over by Reeve on the way out so good by the way we also need to figure out our theme theme we gotta dress up for it yeah what's the theme oh by the way this is Chip's debut too wait was this the one where everyone was like on camera we did shit shots the sky sports thing.

1:17:55Cal:Oh, what? It's a lot of camera. It's on camera?

1:17:57Chip:Loads of cameras. Be careful. You get papped up there. Theo got on someone's shoulders and started singing angels. Yeah, it's actually sick. But he did that thing that Thogden did at the football where he thought he was conducting the crowd. Theo thought he was doing that. He worked. Everyone was calling him Wanker. Wanker! Wanker! Why the fuck? Why are you bringing up fucking growing fans, bro? That's the default one. Default, bro. We always do a TBT. What's success look like? it's a case study for the rest of the still here we go this is it oh this is really really funny we're having a great time but everyone else thinks fuck off yeah he thinks he's him look he thinks he's him i couldn't do that that is such a tough watch yeah oh he's the best

1:18:45Cal:give it to him for just fucking sending it not giving a shit but it's actually super embarrassing probably the worst thing there was one year

1:18:53Chip:I went with Faith and her brothers in the same sort of area and I chucked a Road to Shore has a tiny pecker or something right behind like Nuke whilst he was walking out and I got W2S has a pecker live on Sky Sports it was on so good what theme should we go as boys we did shit shirts last time I was thinking about like you missed the post stag dude bro you missed the movie That was big

1:19:19Cal:Should we go to Four Lions? That would be You I went and bought bleach Exactly You can What's that supposed to mean? What's that supposed to mean? Is that Robert E. Rapids? Is that Valid? Is that Valid? Can I say that? He can Can he not? Why? You just caught me so off guard I was in a trance

1:19:43Chip:Which one would he go as If it was to go as a character? I haven't even seen it bro I've seen it. Not too fast. So rabbit bro. You've never seen four. Remember when he's in IB for it. He's not seen it. Remember he was in IB for it. He was fucking cook the day after. We're waiting for the taxi. We decided to wear four lines. Everyone sat like this.

1:20:06Cal:It was so good. Chips mid nosebleed. What the hell are you talking about? I've seen all the clips from it. You have to watch it.

1:20:15Chip:This is the greatest comedy of all time. Don't run too fast.

1:20:21Cal:Yeah, yeah, yeah. You thought it was real. Yeah. I'm a Mujahideen and I'm making a scene. Now you don't know what the boom boom means. It's like two pets say when I die, I'm not dead.

1:20:36Chip:It's one of the best films ever. We are the martyrs.

1:20:40Cal:You all smashed tomatoes. The whole scene. Crack this one.

1:20:46Chip:The whole scene when he's talking about, yeah, you went and bought bleach. Just fucking, I got it again the other day. It wrote me off, bro. So good. So you went in there. And what was your disguise? Last memory. The gokara. Oh, this is so fucking bad. This is unreal. Not too fast. Not too fast. Hey, brother Fizzle. Brother Fizzle.

1:21:17Cal:can't even play this oh it's such a good movie so good is it one of the ones they couldn't make now no I'm surprised it's even

1:21:29Chip:on streaming services you could not make this film now

1:21:31Cal:fucked nah I want to be there when we see it all for the first time I'll re-watch this come round for a movie night bro We've got to do a fellas movie night. A fellas movie night. Oh boys,

1:21:41Chip:have you heard about what we're doing? We're sort of like starting to, yeah, AB, unfortunately, we kind of just signed you off for this. We are breaking a world record. Oh shit. We'll actually need your help at one point. Okay. Which is, we are going to do the world's longest podcast. Any guesses of how long the world's longest podcast is? It's going to be hours. Maybe days. What do you reckon? I said 12 hours. 12 days. Six days. Six. days well it needs to be ongoing the entire time that's kind of he heard of this no no no i said six or seven days oh yeah seven days so we got to do a week long fucking shit that thing in it i hate it i've never juggled jj does it every fucking day of his life do you think he finds it funny yeah he does but who finds it he's up 40 as well i thought i saw anton deck do it and i smash my screen I've not watched this like that genuinely I'm I know you're speaking about your podcast I'll do it bro of course yeah sweet bro thank you the day of sport the day of sport oh yeah the carryover from the 19th to the 20th I'm doing Bazinga's big Christmas sleepover so we're all coming to mine no one will turn up it'll just be me everyone's invited yeah so on the 19th to the 20th of December yeah we've got the fucking Andrew Tate fight on Misfits straight into the AJ, Jake Paul fight then the next day we got football all fucking day we got darts afternoon session Newcastle versus Chelsea then we go into four prep games Tottenham versus Paul darts evening session then we go into Leeds versus Palace and to wrap it up Everton versus Arsenal so I'm going to host it and Faith has offered to cook the whole day so I said I'm going to invite all the boys around they can be in their missus if they want AB will be there well you're not coming is that it's off launch this podcast getting repetitive bro we do this bit every time it's a good title though nah i can't come i'll be back home what on the 19th 20th go back on the 21st no it's too late you can sleep over in the third floor all right welcome is the pool heated yeah all right i'm back the top off Should we get the fucking volleyball out again in the pool?

1:24:02Chip:Can do, yeah. Yeah, that was fun. We saw in the session with the boys. All right. And we're kissing that. That's actually quiet. Why don't you just bring her? Yeah. Oh, she can come. Just bring her, bro. Stop trying to get this clip, bro. It's been done 500 times. It's an open house. One more time won't hurt. We'll read it back. One mil. She's fine anyway. Yeah, she's all right. I don't mind her. I think she's all right. I'll fuck with her. You don't have to be embarrassed. She's just in everyone's DMs, though. That's what's going to work. That's not true. Don't fucking say that's not true. Horrid.

1:24:32Chip:That's not true. It was one time. Oh, Stanley's saying horrid in the background. It was one time. Ad-libbing. Is Harry here? Rose is just napping. Is he actually here? No way. He's sleeping on grace. I cut to him. I panned to him on my camera. He's sleeping.

1:24:50Cal:F***. Nah, do you know what? I don't know what this is. All right, the wheels getting strong again. You've got to do a shot of Sambuca as well for that. Six star. Here we go. Who's going to be? Do you want to pour it out?

1:25:01Chip:These cups are this. Oh, that looks like, Oh, what is that? That's not don't move it. It was bad. It was bad. Yeah, but he's done so much. No, he hasn't. He's done one. I'm not doing enough facts. Oh, okay. I even factored myself, bro. That's how you know I'm on the map. Give me a six stop.

1:25:18Cal:Granted shit.

1:25:21Chip:Doesn't even need it. Should I do my first ever snus on camera right now? Six stop. Is that what it is? Six? Pass out. Horrid Christmas drink Oh you don't want this Oh you do not want this Bazinga It's like a mix of everything The naughty bitch drink

1:25:39Cal:The one that sent you over the edge What a shame

1:25:42Chip:What I've got to drink more Oh no

1:25:47That's it Bambi's got three Christmases I don't even know how many Christmases she got anymore Are you talking about Bambi Fury Yeah yeah it was like when they broke up for the first time I did a TikTok tend to cry in my car being like fuck's sake Bambi's having two Christmases

1:26:01Chip:you blew up off a child I was gonna say blew up off a child is it pretty wild you bounced off Bambi's name are you just doom scrolling on the pod now bro no Fave sent me a video of her singing you know that fucking rum rum rum rum yeah oh Mrs. Break no she was doing my

1:26:20Cal:she was doing my head in the upnigh yeah but you chat to yours on fucking Snapchat What's up What's up

1:26:27Chip:She's coming into my office Singing that Rihanna tune bro He's in a group chat With all the other lads Oi The wonky boys Easiest way to

1:26:36Cal:I've got off For the next hour fellas Nah Don't even like doing that Because I know it upsets you This is why I don't link you man Like oh come short of Charles now Last night at 12 Come short of Charles We're not gonna cook you

1:26:50Chip:Do you just feel like Kill it we kill your vibe a bit yeah I don't do that bro yeah you do

1:26:57Cal:no I do it less than a year you know what I'm taking the Death Star back as well no don't fucking do that nah I fucking will no most little minifigures to ever be in a set ever as well don't do that please then because I actually need that most expensive Lego set ever I went where's the Star Wars section my boy likes Star Wars they went over there I went what's the most expensive one they went that one I went give it

1:27:16Chip:yeah that's all give us odds on eating a sweetie I'll rate it a gummy no don't do a gummy right now it'll ruin Winnie don't do it

1:27:23Cal:I might start a Lego channel vlog the whole thing

1:27:25Chip:no shut up do it oh second channel vid getting drunk building Lego bosh no one's ever done that's never getting done Chris MD and the I'm not gonna lie they gave me two free Lego sets with it yesterday and I was building them in my gaff last night it's just like yeah I just gave up really I love building Lego yeah so do I but then like the door wouldn't close on the ship and I was like well what have I done wrong I was going back through the pages they were like oh it was meant to be this instead of that I'm like you think I'm taking this all apart what did you get what did they give you like a there's a little Star Wars shit what kind of shit was it though that was new gen stuff I know all of them

1:28:03Cal:so you went to rate it fair enough

1:28:08Chip:I once got a a full lego of the London stadium West Ham stadium oh sick yeah you build it what is it just put in seat seat seat I'm putting 60 ,000 seats get Olive to do it would she do that no She's got my brain. Yeah. She's got no work, bro. She's not on that. She's not on that. She can't stay locked in. She might be doomed. I was thinking that. I wonder if my kid's going to be a tap to you. Oh, yeah. A hundred percent, bro. Yeah. Your kid's crashing out every day. Bro, I don't nibble. That looks fucking wild, mate. I don't nibble anymore. Do you think you'll grow up? Has he sorted that out properly or is there just an egg floating in there?

1:28:45Chip:No, no. It's been whisked. It's been whisked. How much did he do some of my drinking? A good bit of it. Half. Yeah, we'll give you half. Yeah, well, yeah. Half of that. I didn't hear a whisk off. No, but he's whipped it. This might taste nice, you know. No, that looks all right.

1:28:57Cal:It looks like a little chalky milk, Bez. Yeah. So that is Bailey's.

1:29:00Chip:You're no stranger to that, buddy. Bailey's mulled wine, eggnog, and what was it? How does it smell? How does it smell? Spice rum. It smells all right. It just smells like Bailey's. All right, let's get busy. Set the straw off and just get physical. Go on, go on. Get physical, you little fucking rocket. I'm eating raw egg. It's not whisked at all. Yeah, you're going to have to turn. It's a chill job. I've just sucked out raw egg through a straw. You can't trust his ass to do anything, right, bro? No, but I can't raw egg like that. No, you can chug that. Unless you want your whole set violated, bro.

1:29:28Chip:Come on. See what you can do.

1:29:29Cal:I think if you take the straw out, you might be okay, Ben. Oh my God, no. No, that's someone's snot. No, that's someone's snot. He's rancid, bro. Look at that little fucking turkey just laughing. Someone smack him up. Go, go, go, go, go. Get after him. Wait, he's actually doing it. Oh, mate, he's absolutely hammering this. I actually rate you. Yeah, that's good, bro, Ben. That's enough. well done bro well done bro oh my god I respect you it's a good job

1:29:56Chip:I got paid 2k for this yeah that's a little appearance for you not bad it's similar to what you pay us for side plus yeah no exactly you man come on do the mad thing for us it's great yeah more than me for a pod yeah that is not true

1:30:09Cal:yeah it's not true you get paid fucking a lot of money bro you barely turn up isn't it crazy that you just got like

1:30:14Chip:added on like yeah sure you little fucking It is actually class. You're actually like DLC. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, is that what? 1 ,200 DLC. DLC, yeah. No, when you can get like Mat Pack. Yeah. Like Mack him. What was that, Matt?

1:30:29Cal:Mack him on the Cod World of War. Stunning wonder expansion. Yeah, your little expansion pack, bro. Stunning.

1:30:36Chip:It's so good. It's such a bad company. Amazing body. No, I think. What the? Amazing body DLC. Bro, he's mad young. Legless AB DLC. Legless. and we're not talking about the alcohol. Let's go.

1:30:50Cal:I can get a quad, lad. All right. You actually need a drink, bro.

1:30:56Chip:Wait, we need it. We need the Sambucus now. Did I say drink or drink? Sambucus right now, let's get one drink. You need a drink, bro. Sambucus by Uber. I ain't on that. Oh, is anyone watching Diddy Doc? No, has it gone? Brilliant chat.

1:31:08Cal:Diddy, diddy, diddy, diddy, diddy.

1:31:09Chip:It's what your producers put on the fucking thing, mate. I'm just trying to make it look good. Diddy Doc. Oh, a little Christmas special. Let's talk about P. Diddy.

1:31:20Chip:Did you watch this? Is he up to no good? Did he's up to fucking nonsense. Yeah. No good nonsense. Is he a pedophile or is he just free? I don't think he ever did the Epstein thing. I think he just did more than free. I don't think freaky is really he was drugging ladies and okay yeah that's a bit more than freaky we've underplayed that I think that's gonna tell him about

1:31:52Cal:our Epstein thing go on Epstein right obviously what do you mean our Epstein this is your Epstein done a madness done a madness obviously but before all that oh yeah before all that in his circles he was a cool guy he met the Pope he was him yeah like any time he was throwing them out he'd be like yeah we're at Epstein that's why he's so powerful That was Paul. So he was a cool guy and he was the fucking dog. Yeah. Obviously. Who would you compare him? I'm trying to, I saw a tweet about it and it made me think. Who would you compare him to in the YouTube scene? Yeah, who's the Epstein of the YouTube scene?

1:32:28But like,

1:32:29Chip:is anyone hosting big parties in the YouTube scene? No, I'm not doing the 19th and 20th. What about, we're looking, who's the fucker? No, it's off here. I can't run. No, no one hosts parties in, we used, we don't we used to Atlas is the Epstein Island no no not Atlas I'm talking about the remember when we did the 2016 New Year movie movie we did the did the Sidemen house parties you were like four years old Brock baggy school uniform running with my books sorry I'm late did you used to do the short tie team nah I always thought I was washed I liked to look classy at school no back in my days the short tie was the Nah, I had like a watch on, long sleeve shirt.

1:33:16Chip:Oh, did you take a lot of pride in how you looked at school? Yeah. What shoes are you wearing? Suede. Nah. Fuck off. Wait, in your day, was it kickers? Yes. Always kickers. Kickers? Or the long pointy ones. I used to rock those with the skinny. Yeah, skinny. Yeah, off brand. Like, I weren't wearing the Harrogate grandma trousers. I was wearing my own shit, tailor-made. And then I had my suede top man ones on with a brown bottom, white socks. Ooh. Fucking hell, bro. Yeah. Nike Air backpack. Pat. No pubes. Remember getting pubes though? What movie that was? I was so late. I was waiting for time.

1:33:54The day I saw them, I was like, I'm not going to get bullied anymore.

1:33:56Chip:you know what, you want to know what the one thing, one of the many things I got bullied for, right? Was, I was late to get like proper leg hair. Okay. You know, when you got that coarse leg hair, all the boys had that shit. I was like, when do I get that DLC? It took fucking ages. That was me, bro. You know what? I've just realized like, I'm so used to looking at your face now. Like that seems like your nose. Don't say that. The fact that you're saying this could actually just be me is so offensive. But now I genuinely forgot what your normal face looks like. It ain't far off. That is you. What the fuck are we doing here, boys?

1:34:26Oh, I wanted you to take it off.

1:34:28Chip:At our school, in the football team, if someone was underdeveloped, they just got a ring. Yeah, I wasn't in the play team. You wear ball stranglers, bro.

1:34:35Cal:Nah. I got bullied for that. Nah, none of that.

1:34:37Chip:But you go into the changing rooms, get ready for your match. And then if there was someone underdeveloped, you'd just be like, look at you, hairless fuck. yeah you were my up bro you were literally the guy bullying yeah you're looking at him in the middle like when I was on Fortnite fucking up oh wait no you actually have to explain this because you said this to us on the game you got bullied on Fortnite yeah bro like it got deep and this sounds like a funny bit but at the time I promise this was not a joke nah like I'd kill someone golden heavy shotgun would drop and my mate would be like mate would be like oh yeah I'm having that and I'd be like nah I killed him and he'd be like I swear to god like I'm going to tell everyone at school mad shit like you fucking give me that like now and I'd be like no but I killed him and then I'd like pick it up and be like fucking drop it now I'm telling everyone at school like what the fuck's gone like that you said this about her and I'm like alright you can have it then and then and then like I accidentally bought the same skin as a group leader because he had he had Bright Bomber I didn't know that was a group leader's skin yeah fucking I had to refund it and everything bro he bullied him out of the skin oh that's horrible became like a massive thing like because obviously you don't got a lot of money at that point.

1:35:42Buying a skin was a big thing. It's like you bought the same fucking one as me. So I had Raven. I was like, anyone get Raven? It's a wrap. Someone bought it for the back bling, but it was a group leader so I couldn't say anything. Did you still chat to this guy? Yeah. What do you mean? Why did you still chat to him? Nah, we kind of like exiled them and then they all came back. Oh, okay. Okay.

1:36:00Chip:So you've, yeah, your mates again. Yeah. Do you still hold that as a bit of resentment towards him though? Nah. You got pimped. That's why I had the poster note on my monitor saying like don't nibble calm down

1:36:12Cal:oh cause of him yeah oh I remember that possibly you've got drama you've got drama yeah yeah I'd be like to my mom I'm not going to school nah and she'd be like why and I'd be like I can't tell you cause you'll laugh but I had to give my heavy shotgun you had to give my gun nah I said right bro I said right I said right I'm sad you've been treated wrong bro

1:36:35Chip:that's so bad that is fucking insane we're all talking about getting bullied for not having pubes and you were getting bullied for not having a heavy shotgun. And in the Discord, right, there was like a channel that was like a locked one where you just deafened called The Slammer. And like, if you piped up to him, you're just in The Slammer. Like your whole night's done. You're not chatting to anyone else in the group. You're not in any games. You're in The Slammer on deafen for the rest of the night. What? So you would drag you in there?

1:36:57Cal:Yeah, yeah. You get dragged in. Why didn't you say anything like, oh, you're fucking little Bella, mate? Can't. Gotta go to school tomorrow. And then I'll be in the real life. But what was he gonna do to you at school? Everyone was bigger than me, bro. what was he going to do to school just put me in the real life slammer I'll get aired they'll be like oh everyone air AB today oh that's crazy that's horrible that is so fucked it was actually fucked you fucking out he needs running over the worst part was like like school finishes 3.30 you're on four night at four you've chirped up a bit you're in the slammer you're like rest of the night it's done like I'm not in any games I can't chat to any of my boys did you not have like actual boys that are back you though nah cause they were all like what he says goes You was in a car.

1:37:38Chip:Who is this? You was in a car. Who's in a Fortnite car? I need to know who this alpha is. How's he running the show? This is an alpha. What's he doing now? This is Sigma. I don't know what he does now. They're all sound now. Is he still a group leader? Nah. He's actually not in the group. Oh, no. No, he's got mates. They're all nice. Well, they're not though. He's mates with my brother. It sounds like you're still... It sounds like a fucking boy. I'm still scared of him. Yeah. No, I get him out. He sounds nice. I don't want to say anything about it. So I've got to go back to Harrogate for Christmas.

1:38:10Chip:You need to get like a chain that's a golden heavy shotgun. Yeah. Just flex on him. A real one. Yeah. Carrots on this. Listen here, you little fuck. Look, I used to demand my golden heavy. Or just buy a shotgun. Yeah. Yeah, I could do. That would be cool. A little double barrel thing. Yeah. Put it in his mouth. Because I technically live on farm, I could get one. Get one? Yeah. Yeah. Give it to him, paint it gold, and be like, you remember this? Imagine we all get wonky and then just like fucking... Start spraying. I'm going to make a paper airplane for you. What's the way you used to make a paper airplane?

1:38:45Chip:Like the way you're doing it, I think. Yeah, you used to do it like that. This is exactly how I used to do it. Okay, because there's some backwards people that do it really well. I didn't. They get the A4 and they fold like that. I don't think this is the optimal way to fold it though, because I used to have these airplane races or whatever you want to call it. It's cool. And I always lost. I never won them. No, this bitch will fly. Really? it actually depended more on the type of paper that you got, if you could get something with a bit of structure to it you would win, don't look at me, I was on fidget spinners and tech decks bro, yeah you didn't have this fucking I'd have a tech deck in my fucking pencil case every lesson oh there's that weirdo in the corner doing the tech decks again, bro like tray flip fucking 5-0 on my maths book, yeah man landed at bolts bolts?

1:39:24whole class turns around and then your boys got one, you're like, do you want a game of escape from across thing, tray flip, landed it You go, you go, Phil. You're on S. You just got five letters, bro.

1:39:37Chip:How do you get further in the game? Going to school now must be really fun. It must be fun. Now going to school must be ass. TikTok came in in sixth form. Perfect. Did you always have interactive whiteboards? My whole school was on iPads, bro. Bro, it's insane. I remember the day. My homework got emailed to me. I come in. What? And they said, all right, today we're going to do a thing where like you can come up and use the board to do like your maths problems bro oh with the pen with the with the white the interactive pen it was insane euphoria yeah I can circle shit yeah this is my problem but you know what do you want to know what the issue was though half the teachers didn't even know how to use the fucking thing so we spent half the lesson this person trying to like get the thing to work or the sun would give a bit of glare and no one can see shit yeah that's why we just airplay our shit onto a tv airplay what yeah bro accidentally airplay your level 10 town hall on Clash of Clans sorry miss wrong tab I used to play Fishville oh I don't even know that I'd play Cookie Clicker I was Mini Clip oh shit I hit my here we go oh fuck I told you this yeah that was out of camera Malaysia Airlines

1:40:46Chip:oh shit oh right here right get the Sambuca out I'm feeling wonky there was this game

1:40:51Cal:that I used to play back in the day right I played as an alien and you used to like but it was like a bit crude and the goal of the game was to go around shagging like white girls did you ever play that and it was like a side scrolling game nah bro I didn't nah I was a bit crude anyone used to shag

1:41:06Chip:prostitutes on GTA yeah nah I used to play the camera as well so I could see the noddy happening so your controller would vibrate I'd just put it on my ood

1:41:16Cal:oh there's my that's really there's my guess so like yeah so why are you getting the GTA prostitute and the controller vibrates as they thrust you whack it on your knob and you just sit back see when you pull

1:41:26Chip:them in and you got once you got them in a whip you were like, yeah, bag secured. Yeah, then you take him to Dark Alley. And you kill him. No. So then, it would just frame up or whatever and you see a car bouncing. I'd rotate the camera so I could see like, just a nod. Two pods at once. And sometimes they mounted you as well. No, when they got out the car, I just put a bullet in the back of their head. Yeah, no, of course, get my cash back. Yeah, they actually do drop the cash back. Yeah, you think I'm paying for a ball? Oh, you're here for the fellas then? No, I do. Oh,

1:41:57Chip:you got a neck? I've done my shot. Come on. Can I not do that? Just quickly. Just a little slow. Honestly, it's not even that bad. It just goes around the knee. There's a lot of things we don't want to do. I don't want lipstick on, mate. But look, I've got lipstick on, haven't I? I'd rather not, though. Stop doing that.

1:42:13Cal:That hurts me.

1:42:14Chip:It takes a minute. All right. You're best finishing the bottle first. Jesus Christ. All right. Come on, Bruce Wayne. That's not Bruce Wayne. What is it? John Willis. He's fucking ucking. What a present. There we go.

1:42:27Cal:Oh, I'm sorry.

1:42:28Chip:yeah you charge it in the case they're so good you should bring them out on the movie today so boys I'll put in another one now so there's one more forfeit has been added because it's gone over two hours so this is an extra special one so oh no yeah you don't want this one not Stanislav bro why would it not be there

1:42:45Cal:from the beginning though

1:42:46Chip:Stanislav's got lost his mind bro yeah this has got to be a bad one yeah final one fuck us look we've been really gone for two hours oh yeah I'm so up bro yeah 1k 1k an hour you're joking

1:43:01Chip:I got someone off the Are we doing it off the wheel? We actually genuinely kicking someone off Someone's got to go

1:43:16Chip:Christmas gulag All right Spin the wheel bro Can't be me bro There'll be no clip Yeah We'll actually be Me and then the comments will be like

1:43:28Cal:Nothing changed.

1:43:35Chip:You've done all this just to get kicked off. Hey, the Grinch during Christmas. I was going to get too out.

1:43:41Cal:Nah, nah. Nah, man, she got to go.

1:43:43Chip:Leave lobby. Leave lobby, bro. Leave lobby. I'm going to be a kid from the pie. Yeah, back out, bro. I actually feel bad. What's the shape of Italy? Yeah, fuck off. Ginger. Yeah. What do you do to football? I know Chip's actually gutted about this too. What do you do to football? We got two hours out of it.

1:44:04Cal:Off you go.

1:44:05Chip:I'll see you in a bit, bro.

1:44:06Cal:That one didn't work.

1:44:07Chip:No, it's been a pleasure, bro. I can't lie. Fuck off. This is part, like, this is a forfeit. You got to do it. I can't lie, bro. You got to leave. Can I take his chair? What? Yeah. Yeah, do that. Really disrespect this guy.

1:44:19Cal:Bro.

1:44:20Chip:You don't want to sit next to me?

1:44:21Cal:The thing is, I've got to actually move as well. Chip, off. All right. All right. Sit. Sit here. Off. Go ahead, sit there then mate. No, you sit down. No, you sit in the spot.

1:44:31Chip:Chip, can you leave please bro? I can't believe he's been booted. Seeing a bit Grinch. Should we actually string a combo together? Yeah, let's do it now. Let's get this podcast. All vibes changed now. Come on. Chip. Back out bro. What have they been telling you bro? is that the first ever podcast i vote kick yeah it's been voted up now what i've heard that harry goes no rush no rush all right boys now we now the movie begins i'll just get fucking crazy on now

1:45:14he's gone I'm like genuinely scared for the rest of today are we getting steak after this yeah we'll go for dinner

1:45:22Chip:let's plan the evening right now what do we want to do fuck up the whole meal for everyone yeah we're all battered in this gaff and like I'm about to leave and Cal's like Theo has been dancing with Tom Jones for ages. And I look and there's just this. Pull up Tom Jones right now. I'm still convinced it was him. Okay. And I turn to my right and see like. No bro. Yeah. Right. So that's Tom Jones. Tom Jones was on the dance floor. I look to my right and just see a little bold man with a goatee dancing with Theo Baker. And I'm like, that's not Tom Jones. And then Theo was like, I've just seen Holly Willoughby.

1:46:01No, not Holly Willoughby. Amanda Holden. I don't think it was bro.

1:46:06Chip:I was on a plane back with Amanda Holden. recently. She's about, she's a lengthening by the way. Amanda Holden bro. How old is Amanda Holden? Google it for me real quick. I would say she's about 40. Oh no. 43 maybe. How old is she? 54. 54 bro. Amanda Holden at 54.

1:46:32Chip:It's why you got to do the future stars thing. She was always always no but future stars is like the entire longevity of your life you know what you mean i've definitely got a future stars i secured the future star bro okay so what you were you were you were scouting my 54 year old fizzle p is gonna be a problem you were you you said that you're you you scouted the the future star so you said what what no because you said you you met the future of the star future of the star you know what i mean just don't just tell me like what Are you using her as a bounce pad? To like something bigger and better.

1:47:10Chip:I'm saying Fortnite bro. Boogie Bob. Yeah, I'll throw a boogie bomb at her. Big deal. Watch her cut some shapes. Do I get the ick or not? Did you give her your gold heavy? Yeah.

1:47:24Chip:He's currently in the slammer right now. You're cocked up. You're cocked up voyeurism. I'm not. We did this way too much. it's way too much it's like can't even have one convo on WhatsApp without it being aired out on the pod it's like what I'm not even gonna chat to you like anymore because this actually sounds about me up it's like fucking with my personal life a little bit as well so now now she's being like oh I didn't want to chat to you because I'm gonna watch it on the FYP I was like yeah this is what stands on fucking joke now you're cool though bro yeah you are a cool guy You're a cool guy, man.

1:48:04Chip:You're doing your thing as well. Yeah, you wouldn't be here if you weren't cool, bro. All right. That's sick. Do you feel powerful in that chair? Yeah. This is a big chair to sit. I did on the Halloween. Oh, speaking of chairs, I saw your clip on... Good chat. I see your clip on Batch and Arthur podcast about that if COVID didn't happen, I would potentially be a fella. Oh, yeah. I didn't even know. No. I've said this before. So that was never going to happen. Oh, it must have been out of my mind, but you've said it before then, bro. Because I don't remember this ever. Nah, so it kind of came across wrong in that pod though.

1:48:36Chip:So my whole thing was I wanted to start a podcast and then Chip was like, because I was there like either Bez or Chip, we would have a sick podcast. And then Chip was there like, oh, I'm fucking off. And then I was there like, oh, I'm going to shout Bez. At that point, COVID happened and then Chip has landed. But Bez was, that's why he was the first guest because I was there like, he's perfect. Would you have accepted that? At the time, probably. I didn't do, I just did sidemen at that point. Now it's way, now it's insane. But like, probably at the time, Probably. My schedule's the same, bro. Yeah, of course it is, you little fucking neek.

1:49:07I woke up today like, fuck, yeah, something to do. Fucking hell. You get overwhelmed? Nah. Nah. I'm underwhelmed with how little I'm doing. You know what you need to do? To move to London and do nothing is pretty insane. Bro, this, it's all just fucking buildings, bro. You need to have a child. What do you mean, dude? Yeah, I do. You do have to do, bro. I'll have a kid ASAP just for something to do. I'm so bored. Tell you what, that first eight months is a problem, bro. Nah, it's fine, bro. No, it's not, bro. It's better than a 12-hour scroll a day.

1:49:39Chip:You reckon you'd be able to deal with, like, shit, proper shit, eating happy and that? He deals with Gus anyways. Yeah, bro. Is he leaving droppings anyway? I've not seen any. Because our little shit house, he leaves droppings. I've not seen any droppings. I think they're all behind the kitchen unit. Yeah. Because that's the hole he comes from. I tried to clog it up with polystyrene. Obviously, you just blitz through that. Yeah, of course he did. Of course he did. Gus, bro. We got... Rolo killed our first mouse. Fuck. That's a sausage dog, isn't it? G-Dot Roller. Would your dog do any shit like that?

1:50:06Chip:I don't know. He's never had the opportunity. I'd like to see it. He's battering it around the living room, bro. Really? You didn't even need that, bro. But then the second one, he don't know what to do with it. Can't catch it. Yeah, Faith was stood on the bed. Like, imagine the bed's here. She jumped on it and was like, oh my God, I don't know what to do. Dogs, dogs, dogs. But they don't know what to do, bro, because they're getting gassed on her. So they're listening to her. Not even the fucking massive German Shep? No. What? Oh, I know. She's more after... Military grade attack dog can't deal with a fucking mouse.

1:50:36No, but she's after human, bro. Yeah, that's fair. Attack! She plays with a little mouse, bro. I will guess the trigger word. You want to guess it? One day, I'll guess. You want to guess it one day? It's in German, isn't it? Czech. Czech.

1:50:49Chip:You get the most pure breed German shepherds from Czech Republic. Oh, I thought you were saying the word is Czech. I was like, don't fucking say that on the podcast. No, no, no. No, Czech Republic. Well, you imagine just accidentally triggering the word. If you notice, like, in German, this is such shit chat if you notice like a lot of German Shepherds that you see with people have like them bare slanted black blacks backs where their legs are bare low and their hips are battered pure breed German Shepherds are not meant to be they're meant to have a straight back okay so for that straight back you want a pure breed from Czech Republic that's where they breed the best so it's probably like Bidojski no but there is the word to get her active and hype is a funny one okay no don't say it don't say it don't say it I can tell you No, because Stan will leave it in.

1:51:32Chip:Stan will leave it in. Yeah. We'll set her off, bro. So like if I say... Just like go have fun. Yeah. But if I say, if I say like, if you was to walk up to my front door and I give her the... If I give her... If I give her... She'll start... That's sick. Oh, I did. That's so badly. If I say... She'll bark at you better. Like she wants to eat you. She'll bark at you like... She wants to eat you. But then there's... That's just like scare him off. Yeah, but then there's a go. So she won't go. don't say the gold word because it'll be in my head and then I'll say it at the gap and I'll lose my shit you can get her to like come by your leg yeah get mad at him and then there's a have you ever had to use the guard dog Faith used him against some dodgy dealers yeah really well she went to pick up and they wouldn't no they started on her dad oh okay at our property oh that's a little strange they cut through a wire for our camera then started on him down the field so Faith went down that's so cool they've got a text like this guy's starting on my dad bro so she just went I can kick off that's so cool fuck I really want a big dog now you got me bro you're good woof I saw how you moved in Bradford I tell you what I'm guided I missed this shit what's up on Saturday?

1:52:56Chip:I live for a shit hole you know what I mean You know I fry it. You do fry it. I fucking fry it. Yeah, you would have actually bat me in the toilet beef as well. Yeah, fags. Everyone was like, nah, AB took it like a good boy. I'm like, mid fucking vid. And I've got my knob in my hand. Nah, I'll tell you what. That guy was the type of guy to just start chowing down on that thing. That's the exact reason I've never been smacked because you just agree with these fucking drones until they fuck up. The nitbags. Yeah, you just, everything they say, you go, yep, understood, yep. What, the nities? Yeah.

1:53:26Chip:What, you starting on AB, bro? I was speaking your face. Fucking old tram. You would have loved Bradford. Bring your dog as well. Let me tell you, you would have loved the night out. Yeah. I love her. And then we went to Manchester and kept him a show like it was a fuck. Yeah, that would have been prime if he got the opportunity. I thought that was the alarm then, but it's not. It's just because we're in fucking East London. Ambulance. No, listen. Faith gets young with me because she wants to go out. I'll say, oh, let's go sunset. She's like, you fucking joking me. To be fair, that is a dungeon.

1:53:56Chip:This is like, I love it. Yeah, love the shit girl. I love a shot pack it in bro you can't let it go I have I've let it go there was an age 22 to 26 bro no he's reminiscing the good times so you're saying I'm entering my prime right now you actually are bro do what we did bro I promise you the difference is all my mates are you who have already done it no no but at least you're not oh this is going to sound bad at least you're not friends with the people that haven't done it do you know what I mean yeah Because the people that haven't done it, I did so much in that four-year gap that I now know I can live a happy ever after without ever having to wonder about anything.

1:54:38No, I've got a lot of good XP under my belt. Yeah, good. I actually do.

1:54:42Chip:You prestige? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. About prestige? Yeah, I've got every attachment. Yeah, all right. Okay. I think. Yeah. Yeah. So what's your favorite type of night out then? I hate clubs. I don't like clubs. I hate not being able to hear each other and use awkward dance and the whole time I just like... I like a bar. Sunset's like a semi-club bar. I love a live music spot. You can sit down in the sunset. Not too loud. And you can still have a little bit of a like, just a table vibe. A bit of boogie. If you want to get mixy, you can get mixy on the end bit. But like, there's... And there's blood on the ceiling.

1:55:14Chip:I was literally going to say, to give people an idea, last time I went to sunset, I saw blood on the ceiling. So that's the type of spot. It's definitely one of them legaffes where like, fucking 7am in the morning. It's hard to happen. You can never go again because you've docks a whole shit. I'll go again. We'll be there. All right. I like a little, I hate live music. Roxy Wednesdays. Let us educate you. You might just need to, you know what? You need new friends. Don't hang with us. Yeah, you need some young 'uns. Hmm. The thing is just like, live music is so loud. I might as well be in a club.

1:55:45I'm fucking 30. He's 20 what? 22 actually, bro. I need another drink.

1:55:50Chip:Yeah. I'm doing one more drink. Roxy Wednesdays was like the... Pinnacle. the pinnacle of growing up in London bro Roxy Wednesdays was can you just get me any drink? just something I want to feel something I was more going raves raves, really? I never really went to raves I regret that though because after going to that fucking Ketema thing I was like I should have gone to raves that was good because we were behind the decks even I was looking out there I was like I would have liked this out there not in em not in em not in em this one's getting mad bro not in em oh yeah not in em ever heard of detonate?

1:56:25Chip:Let me tell you there. My head was detonating. Yeah, that old gaff got detonated, bro. Fucking. Yeah, do you want another one? We used to go to like the rattiest spot. You know about Rock City? That's not in a minute. That was my first club. Ocean Wednesdays. Ocean! Oh, is that the one when the floor tested positive? Yeah. Yeah. Fucking disgusting, gaff, bro. You got to understand. Ocean Wednesday. Raised and loved the shit on me. I fucking love it. My first ever night out was Rock City. Like club night out was Rock City. When though? What year? Oh, it was what? 19? I'll tell you all. So what, last year?

1:56:59Chip:Yeah, yeah, last year. Sick. Yeah, no, listen. That Roxy gaff got turned into a fucking... You know what? I think about that. I remember going to a toilet cubicle once and Harry was in the cubicle, butt naked, on the floor. Oh, because he takes his clothes off to shop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's in Roxy, butt naked on the floor, cold up, yeah? He's smirking. And then I had to give him my jacket from the cloakroom. Why? He's fucked. He's fucked. What's up? Did he put his pants back on? He got ready. Sorry. I've seen Harry butt naked a couple of times in Berlin too. I feel like we need a separate bottom.

1:57:40Chip:Just Harry's story. He flooded the, Harry flooded the room that we had in the hotel and we ran away. I remember this. We ran away. We got our flight home and didn't say a thing. Wow. I also saw his bruise Willie. what's his face doing chips back chips just walked in you're loving the chocolate coins bro i've just written off like five there's something special about shit chocolate though do you not think cheap chocolate is great and they only produce the shit chocolate around christmas time i love a shit chocolate or the asda 35p choccy bars they go the white and red looking shit ones yeah they do go off yeah it's like the type of ones they buy to melt it down for some cake but you end up scrambling the whole thing while they're making you spark my memory into do you I remember them white and red sweets.

1:58:24Chip:What were they? Where you could suck them and they tasted so great. White and red like swirly sweets. They were like, oh, they were so nice. White and red sweets. I know all the ones you're talking about. Yeah. Sweet. I'll be able to show you a picture. I think here we go. Here we go. Yeah. Yeah, bro. These sweets here. That's not a bit of me. Big problem. No, when you put that in your gob, you'll experience euphoria. No, it's got creamy taste to it. Yeah. Strawberry swirls. There you go. That's the real ting, bro. They're amazing. I don't like the ones you suck on there. No, you might have to suck on that, bro.

1:59:00I don't have the patience for it.

1:59:02Chip:All right. Yeah. Same with the ice cream. I bite into my ice cream. You just want instant dopamine. Yeah. Oh, it's like a restaurant the other night where I had a whole mouth full of cream. That was good. That was a good bit. Yeah. Thanks for bringing it up. Well, do you just live in like bits? Yeah. Yeah. I live clip to clip. Yeah. Nice. That's why when I'm at home doing nothing, I'm like, when's the next clip? When can I next film? There's no camera here. Yeah. What's this shit, by the way? All right. Let's do this, and then we can fuck off and get our steak. Okay. Right. These are Christmas confessions.

1:59:33Chip:last Christmas 9am I had attempted a cheeky bean flick before seeing the family it was going great until my brother 23 and also about 20 stone why do you have to mention his weight because he's fucking massive 20 stone well he didn't run into your room at 20 stone he's jogging he's rolled into your room and cannonballed onto the bed his massive jump hit the mattress exactly as I climaxed. The shock of staring at my brother in the eyes instantly destroyed the moment. Yeah, no shit. Worst wank in history. Can I just pause you? I cannot bear when women use the word wank. Wank is such a men-exclusive word.

2:00:20Chip:Yeah, so true. I know that this is going to sound barbaric and people might catch me. It does sound weird. Wank should only ever be used by disgusting men. Yeah, look, we're vile. We fart, we burp, we wank, we do bad things. What is the equivalent for a woman then? Play with yourself, bro. You were doing something. Like, just make it have a bit of decor. You did not wank. Playing in the daffodil. Wank is disgusting. Wank is vile. It is a pig worry. Through the field. When you've had a wank, yeah, it's vile. It's not. It sounds like, wank sounds like a pull. Yeah, yeah. I've wank tugging at it.

2:00:52Chip:You ain't pulling shit. You cannot wank yourself, bro. You've played with yourself. Right. Next one, AB, rip it. What? On the path. I thought you got time to leave. Bounce, bro. My school used to do an end-of-year Christmas sports dinner. As tradition goes, you can drink throughout the meal, then everyone goes to the local pub for a few after. I was chatting to a girl at the time, and after having one too many, I nipped to the toilet and thought it'd be a good idea to send her my soft dick, captioned Merry Christmas. Soft, bro. What were you up to? Yeah, that's some Luke Bennett shit. Can I ask you a question?

2:01:25She forwarded it straight to my mates, and I've never lived it down. Have you ever sent a nude or a dick pic? Nah. not even going in because they'll find my shit so what do we think about that

2:01:38Chip:well first of all rule one why is it soft I think as long as you are you said the soft one Bez no but I assume that's men I would only ever send Faith a picture of my flaccid penis with like a caption Merry Christmas as like a funny ha ha yeah yeah a tiny lip so I actually don't mind this if the girl was got a sense of humour if I was a woman and I opened up a flaccid penis that said Merry Christmas I'd probably give it a giggle yeah but like I don't think they were at this level I was just chatting to a girl and he's mad to unsolicited so he's just unsolicited with a soft penis no no definitely not but again if my wife if I just sent like a if I whacked a bit of tinsel around it with a flaccid penis it sounds like you've done this before not yet we do a lot of things man but I'll tell you what it might have been worse if he was bricked and then it's like no you're a little dirty because if he's proud of his willy it's fine yeah I've always said if I ever had a dick pic leaked I wouldn't be mad because I'm okay with it nah if my shit I'm a grower bro I would be so cooked if my shit was soft no but no you said a hard one yeah and it got leaked I wouldn't be mad okay yeah let's move on to the next one go on best right hey Sergeant Major Gooners I wasn't living at home at the time but with a friend his sister had this little thing for me since we was kids and had only told me a few days before Christmas.

2:03:02Chip:During Christmas lunch, she wanted to show me something she had got to me for Christmas. Turns out it was a full set of Christmas lingerie. I was shocked, but still ended up porking her. I was shocked as if being shocked would stop that. What were we talking about? Right, as I'm about to bust a load, my mate and his mum walk in. Let's just say we haven't spoken since. I'm still porking the sister. Sure. To this day. Oh, shit. To this day. as you should king to be fair once he's been written off by the family like fuck it damage is done when a lady goes out of her lane to prepare for you like that yeah you gotta deliver yeah you can you gotta deliver yeah yeah you continue it's a respect thing that is your version of getting flowers bro you gotta understand bro like she got you flowers uh-huh okay have you ever had that happen to you AB no okay I'll move on to the next one short and sweet fellas one year i came up pissed on new year's eve in about year 12 had a goon in the kitchen and not in the tray the turkey was cooked in the next day what are we doing not in a kitchen tray what are you just doing in the kitchen goon though what's the worst place with the family that's insane no but if you got a free house what was place you not i did hi

2:04:25Chip:school toilets ready for this one school exclusion cubicle the slammer I was literally in the slammer at school because I was horrible at school there was this room I'm not even joking about this and there was three cubicles in it for all kids that got excluded you'd get given your work or whatever and then there was a teacher that sat right at the end. Yeah. And just did nothing. Really, it's a free job. You just get to sit in there and monitor kids so they don't make noise. I thought, yeah, you know what, bro? Let me get in the school trousers and just go. So I went to the table. Oh, completion.

2:05:02Chip:Yeah. And I just did it in the school trousers. And then what'd you do the rest of the day? I fucking sat in the same cubicle. Went home. All day. Went home out of the shower, bro. Cracked on with my life. Solitary confinement. Yeah, I'm doing maths, bro. Oh, yeah. I've had that. wank in the woods wanking in the woods feels freeing though fuck down bro no but it feels freeing did you feel free yeah yeah and then when I got back in my car I was like this is the thing any time that post not clarity this is why wank is so barbaric because it's not nice it's not nice it's not do you reckon women have the same rebound as us no chance no they don't get the clarity I reckon they they get such a heat moment where they're like fuck I just did that bro yeah we're like that's disgusting what have I done we're in the nether I've just been tugging my little fucking thing.

2:05:49Chip:I frugged it out into the toilet or something. I started thinking of my ancestors who had to like work for days. I'm here. Anything and then I'm just here like. I'm here and I've literally gone for a wank and I've come in the toilet, bro. Like, I did all this to just go and wank into the toilet. And then you just feel shit the rest of the day. Yeah. Energy's. Yeah, I've got no test. The test has gone. Yeah. I've got no motivation to do anything, bro. Pop a snus, you're like, all right, that's all dopamine possibly. snus goon and doom scroll that's what i've been on recently bro i realize our brains must be fried oh this generation's cooked no i've not had a thought in like a while i was a bit scared about coming on the pod because i was like you know what they've not seen me in a minute and i'm like i've not left my phone but okay so the boys in our troops group chat yeah yeah we have like the boys will post their screen time and they're like, oh my, it's really bad, yeah.

2:06:49Chip:But I've got a thing with this. What if you enjoy it? Who's to tell you? You do what you enjoy. So I will happen, Faith will get into me as well. I'll say, but I'm having a good time. So who are you to tell me? Just because you think it's bad, I'm having a great time, bro. There's nothing like once Olive's gone to bed, yeah, and you sit down on the sofa and just fucking, I've just clocked something. What? you're going on about Goon and all this crazy shit just dressed as a gingerbread man yeah what he's just dressed as a fucking gingerbread man can't go like that it's just insane we're getting deep about Goon you think gingerbread man's got no icing you think I can't spray fuck alright we got one last confession here I gotta show you a gift what is this in our fellas discord shout out to the discord I know Stanley's in there literally every night chatting away he's playing Art Raiders bro I see him on TikTok live all the time he pops up on my TikTok yeah little Stanislav putting together a shitty doc and then Broke and then Broke comes on yeah that's me bro that's you after some sneaky Pete you gotta understand bro alright last confession let it go for us alright All right.

2:08:12Chip:Went away with the other half to spend Christmas with her family on an American army base in Belgium. On Christmas Eve, we got fruity in the kitchen and had a sesh on the counters. When given top, she wasn't down to swallow. So proceeded to spit my nut all over the sides. We cleaned up as best as we could. But when we come down the following morning, her uncle asked, What was the Christmas pud's icing? because he claimed he finger licked icing off the counters and said it was too salty. Merry Christmas, lads. Bullshit. Didn't happen. Yeah, didn't happen in a year. Didn't happen in a year. I will tell you though, I've been on sex talk recently.

2:08:52Chip:What's sex talk? There's this one lady on TikTok that like, she just describes like loads of fucking fun shit you can do or whatever. There's this one thing, yeah. If you live in a gaff and you've got a kitchen island, get a bird on a kitchen island. Are we talking about like Christmas story queue? Are you talking about a woman? No, no, your bird. so get the bird on the kitchen island you pull up a chair she sat like this on the kitchen island bro you just fucking eat you're deep you're deep yeah yeah alright what about what about like when you're on top and you sex them you sex them I was sexing you man ever eat toast nah I know you're a book guy I'm on this team Paul's cause back on the toast back on the toast You might have got to understand bro.

2:09:39Chip:If you've got, I can't, this probably won't even make the part, but listen, you're mashing it. Yeah. She's got her legs here. You're just nibbling on the toenails. Bloody love mashing it. I'm telling you now. Stop the toes, yeah? What's your reaction? Bro's going crazy. Bro's dropping tips and tricks. He's been on sex talk for a minute. You're going to reach new heart. Doing that first time mental. No. No, no. like that bro you just gotta suck him suck him bro chewing on her toenails like Nazi zombie bro

2:10:28Chip:that's one of the most insane things what's getting used from this? We can clip around. We can clip around. Just bleep your names, bro. All right. Bleep some bits, bro. All right. Fucking hell. Nah, boys. Let's wrap this fucking thing up. We've earned the stake. We earned the stake. Guys, we're going to wrap this thing up. What an insane ending to the pod. Look, boys, appreciate. Well, not even boys. Bez, appreciate you jumping on the pod. Thank you so much. You got... I'm lit. Oh, clip falling again.

2:11:08Chip:That was sick. I hope she's watching bro. I hope she's watching bro. Wrap it. Merry Christmas. Have a wonderful Christmas. Have a fantastic time. Get drunk and we'll see you guys for the new year's episode. What a fucking movie that's going to be. stay tuned. Can I come back? Can I come back? Fuck it. Four of those confirm. Can I come back? Four of those confirm. We'll see you lot in a bit. Bye.