278. NEW SET! AB’s InSide Drama & Sidemen Charity Match…

20:28You just won't stop laughing. And Vic's just stood there like, but harry's creasing up you're just laughing at big existence that didn't get put in pretty valid yeah also on the way to the challenge area kind of in this weird corridor and netflix producer comes over and goes like oh do you guys want a little sip of like an energy drink before you go on just so you're a bit perky for the challenge and he's just like so in clip farm mode and just like just so tapped in the head he just like grabs the netflix producer by his neck and goes, yeah, we'll have two Red Bulls, please. Like, just to make me laugh.

21:01Yeah. Like, obviously not thinking this guy just works for Netflix. So he's just like, yeah, we'll have two Red Bulls. And the guy's like, all right. And then, like, an hour later, it's like, Alhan, you can't throw all the producers. Fucking hell, that's bad. That is a bit mental. He is a bit mental. I know he made his joke, but yeah. No, he's a crazy villain, that guy. But there'll be loads of shit that didn't make the cut.

21:22Chip:Yeah. What's Marlon like in real life? Is he? Really sound, actually. How did him in India get on in there? Well, this is the thing. Everyone in the house kind of says like, there wasn't really much leading up to it. They would like tell that that was gonna, that they'd get go down and duck and waffle. Ducky in the waffle. Yeah.

21:46Chip:His set bit hasn't been shown yet. So let's talk about Stanley's video. He's got, he's got a bit of foliage behind him. We've made his area look quite, quite nice. Actually 20 minute job. It'll be better for the, No, I genuinely think it's about right. It'll be better for the next one, though. That was an awful joke, by the way. That was horrid. What was horrid? A ducky and my waffle. Yeah, let me say that all they did was kiss. That is a fact. It was just a kiss. Well, as far as you're aware. Yeah, you don't know, Nish. Anyway, yeah, Marlon was... I didn't know what to expect because obviously I've seen clips of him, but I was like, is this guy just known for being Leng?

22:18Is he just known for being a rocket mogger? It's a whole deal. But no, he's actually quite jerks. How nice was his buddy? He's very, I was going to say he's very tapped in with the UK sort of humor.

22:31Chip:Yeah, but like... Does he know about the fellas pod? Yeah, of course. Fuck yeah. We've got to get him on. Yeah, we'll get him on. How chiseled was he? Oh, wait. We can actually say chariot match. He'll be in the chariot match. He's a mystery player because it was a temptation. When he came back and he was like, yeah, the temptation was a chariot match. I was like, go on, bro. And I was also thinking like, nah, but I kind of was... How much do you know

22:49Cal:how much it was to get? 50 grand, isn't it? 50, yeah. Yeah, fair enough. Everyone was like, Fez, bro.

22:54Chip:You weren't in long enough for a temptation, were you? Nah. Only he got, when I was in there, he got one and Expressions got one. They should have had that girl that you were seeing at the time in there for your mystery one. Nah, that would have been the biggest hard launch of all time. Fez. Maybe not then. Yeah. Sorry about that. Let's keep it stepping. Sorry, bro. I just killed the whole shit. I wasn't listening. What do you mean it's a podcast?

23:20Cal:I don't know. Sorry, Stanley was distracting me behind cam because I must see. Yeah, no, back to the main thing. No, no, back to what I wanted to know before you all cut me off. Did you see him with his top off? Yeah, we hit some gym sessions. Is it mainly the delts that do it for him? What the fuck's going on? Bro, he's got a good friend. What do you want me to say? He's not a churd. No, I'd like you to fucking describe it. God forbid, like, I'm one handshake away from Marlon and I'm trying to get to him. It's always your own boys that just fucking do you like, do you like shit? 500K or dinner with Marlon?

24:00Cal:Exactly, bro. I'm trying to be in certain circles.

24:04Chip:He's got a good rig on him, bro. Yeah. Finally. You got, you got, you got brutally frame bogged by Eddie Hall. You look like some, and I see when he was on my pod, I looked about right with him. I fit that thing. Chip actually held his own against Eddie Hall but then the moment you are with Eddie Hall you just got fucking brutally yeah I thought you would like stand your ground on the planet have you seen him do 2v1 MMA pick up that one guy and then bang out the other at the same time yeah I'm happily frame-mogged by that guy you should have easy pick you should have gone up to him and said I'll spark you out oh behind his back I was saying like bro he's a bitch I can tell I'm gonna smack him up no I never said that please Eddie I never said that um yeah nah Stephen Try is actually violating me a little bit in one clip.

24:50He was like, oh, it's starting to look like a kennel in here with a pug next to an XL bully. And it's just me and Eddie Hall sat there. Why do you actually look like a pug? Wait, do you not think?

25:01Cal:The funny joke about it all as well is like, you're known for having this like stunning rigorous rig. Rigorous rig.

25:10Chip:Bro's not top to season five on his homosexual shit. Look at this, Morgan. He's the world's longest man, bro. Why are you so small? You know what, bro? You little puny-ass guy. I don't know what the fuck was going on, but I was chopped on Instagram. I was shud maxing the whole time. Wait, you did say before you went in you were worried about your trim. Well, I wasn't worried until my barber gave me the trim. And then I was mad upset, yeah. And he'll watch this because he watches the pod. And he's a good barber. You still use him? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. This was a big miss. Because my one instruction is I've got a very flat back of the head don't take too much off the mullet I don't get it you look horrible also the fit I don't know why I was thinking they say you wear you look alright they say you gotta wear unbranded shit so I was panicking with that I ended up rocking up in pyjamas do they not just give you like inside clothes?

26:03you do but this when you walk in oh right fine and then Marlon rocks up in a fucking kids extra small white top oh but you can wear your own crepes? yeah oh epic yeah that was that was jumping out you know look how happy he is to see you

26:19Chip:though Ben so do you still speak tomorrow yeah yeah we're in touch oh my we're on the same team in the charity match oh yeah right let's talk about the

26:26Cal:charity match yeah childhood dream come true fucking buzzing for it boys we're going again one more time what well we're managers are we got last minute call-up you know I did I know I'm not you know what I didn't see it would have It wouldn't even make sense for me to not be there. So I know I'll be there. Yeah, it's one of those. They do the late call-up sometimes. So late call-up. The thing is, they like to keep me on my toes. I know what they're like, them pesky old boys. The managers are different this year. It's club and the ASU frat leader.

27:00Chip:You wish. The ASU frat leader would feel... Chill out, Mr.

27:04Cal:Rigorous. Relax. I don't like that. Yeah, well, I'm excited. What formation are you going, bro?

27:11Chip:By the way, can I just say, though, in the draft, I thought they would draft the managers. I don't even know if I'm actually in it yet. I've been asked to be in it, but where's my moment? Everybody's getting little things to put up on their story. Where's mine? I barely got a moment, bro. Nah, yours is funny, though. So the Sidemen accidentally fucking leaked the draft like a week before. So big stinker. So I knew I was on Sidemen FC. Yeah. And I've got a Sidemen FC shirt kicking about the gaff. So I hop on my first stream back, 10 ,000 views, by the way. And I've got a smart shirt over the Sidemen one.

27:43and everyone's like, bro, you've got massive sweat marks. Why are you boiling? And I'm like, bro, chill out. It's just warm in my flat. They don't know I've got a sideman top on under. I'm watching the draft. I see Deji get picked first. I'm watching Phantom get picked before me. I'm watching Lacey get picked. It gets down to bottom three. By the way, last three pick. I know you guys will say I'm like a watch ball or whatever. You a little bit and everyone knows I'm fucking sick. But the boys before will have had like, oh, let's have a funny little bit where we rage, baby. I don't think they thought that into it, bro.

28:14Chip:No, they did. I think you've got a bit of main character syndrome there. I don't think they've gone... No, I've got imposter syndrome with the charity match, but this was fucking insane. I genuinely think you were drafted in the position you were drafted. Ethan at one part goes, Fanon's physique, AB's physique. Yeah, we'll pick Fanon.

28:30Cal:Yeah, but that's... Fanon's got experience. He was actually decent at Ryback. He did a shit for me. He actually was all right. He did a shit for me when I was manager back in the Cyber and Charity match's prime. Bro, I thought that caravan was him. Huh? Nah what the fuck I don't fuck with that at all Don't talk about One of my fucking Star players like that You know when I was Manager When I was manager Like this shit Would not This shit would have Not ran That's how I know The game's gone And that's why I'm not Really trying to involve Myself as much anymore These days

28:58Chip:I swear you actually Said you couldn't be Artist yet The thing is

29:01Cal:You have to understand When to step back It's like Nico Rosberg When he beat Hamilton Retired So a lot of people Been asking Should be your manager Should be your manager I'm not because I've retired. I've actually, I've taken a step back. There's other opportunities.

29:16Chip:There's a few interesting people that they've left out. I'll be honest. I'm surprised that I was asked to be involved when you hear the likes of Will and me, Max Fosh, not involved the Baker. No, that, that, that's right. The Theo Baker gimmick is done. Yeah. He's done too much. Thing is at some point you got to let some newcomers in the car, you know, I hear it. You do, you do, you do. I tell you what, they obviously they've not got the, the two biggest guys really, which was Speed and Mr. Beast. He's not big. I know he's big, but like as a person himself, I don't care about meeting him. No, I know, but he is massive though.

29:54Chip:I know it's not you. I mean, like you would have preferred Logan Paul to be in there. Bro, I'm a big Logie P guy. You know that. Yeah. That's the only reason I said, yeah, I'm not really out of house about playing. No, he's not. Oh, well, you want to swap out for Chip? No. Child's a dream come true. I've watched every episode

30:08Cal:of the Wembley Cup since day one. Stop trying to un-retire me, bro. It's my five-year anniversary with Sabina on that day and I didn't realize until about a week ago. Oh, so you could have celebrated on the pitch.

30:17Chip:You could have scored, taken your top off. I love you, sweetheart Sabina. I wouldn't have been there. I would have dropped out. Nah, that is so much, Kat.

30:28Cal:No, but I won't be there to watch. You will. Yes, you will, bro. Take her on a date, bro. I can't take her to the Cyber and Charity match for a five-year anniversary, bro. Yeah, but you can the next day. It's not an all day thing bro It's just a little She's taking me away She's taking me in a little That's so wash If you're not there bro Bro this is his big day I'm gonna I swear to god I'll be posting on Snap that You won't You don't You gotta watch it inside And the whole thing's done It just came out Yeah it did I've been working on this set So you got a place to feed yourself So you can put some fucking money In your pocket So you can feed your family Family Stepdads are all making art statues Making niche Bro he would have made that For half the price

31:04Chip:Yeah Looking back on that You don't even want to know the cost of that be honest right now no tell me right now no i've gone way over budget no

31:14Cal:how much over budget no i haven't this is i've done this way cheaper than anybody else could

31:18Chip:have done no that doesn't that's not actually that doesn't really mean anything to me bro this this is like a hundred grand set for everyone else but it's not for us well there was it's not

31:26Cal:i think cost that all right what is it like no no no i actually don't want to know nah nah nah 45, isn't it? Are we talking about the lights included and stuff?

31:36Chip:No, no, no. Don't worry. I actually don't want to know. I actually don't want to know because it's just better that I don't know.

31:42Cal:Yeah. It is better that way. Just be happy with what you've got. How about that? Be grateful for... Just put it this way. You just need two less Maldives trips for you, bro. How about that?

31:51Chip:Yeah.

31:51Cal:Not going to lie.

31:53Chip:That's kind of shit. I would have taken that. So I was bottom three picks. Me, Danny Aarons, and Stable Ronaldo left on the board. which shows it's a scam because Danny Aarons Danny Aarons is a good player yeah me and Danny good players bro you said you bottle things earlier you mentioned that do you think you're going to bottle it at the charity match I've been thinking this is what it's all led up to this is the time I deliver right

32:17Cal:it's the time I deliver well let's talk about something that you've been you've been practicing you've been running 5k's walking 3k but that's because of the knee you've got a training regime yeah I've been doing better cardio basically how's that been going good I like it I'm on the exercise bro that was the most unpropped bro

32:38Chip:I'm not even a hater like this the cardio that you're doing is so useless it's not it's not gonna make a difference I messaged Archie Gray I went alright what would you recommend I went what would you recommend for Wembley he goes honestly 1k on treadmills don't fuck about with long runs it's about like quick short bursts so I did a I tried to do a 5k before I messaged him yeah in normal shoes and my shins were snapping bro so I've got some running shoes arriving today in the group chat you said you think the whole running shoe shit is a scam yeah i was wrong about that i'll hold that up i said people back in day just used to go on a running train as they were fine it's a fucking myth it's not a myth this man fucked so now you've got some new trainers we've evolved some new trainers coming but in the meantime i've been on the exercise bike going like fucking rapid i don't know the assault bike yeah no no no like actual just oh okay and i've just got the charity match on my youtube on the screen and i'm just watching it like fuck I'll shit okay if there was one performance that you could recreate and if it if it was you in that person's thing who would it be in terms of charity match performances chris md free kick would be pretty class but no one's whacking me on a free kick you know I know I don't bag it I've got michael ballock vibes coming from you bro I've got daniel cutting dink vibes little shit you are built like daniel cutting oh yeah yeah you got his trim right I've actually just yo job now so it started started yeah, but the whole thing was we were gonna show people the process No, you don't know you just want me to look like a fucking cloud you've looked like a car for four five years straight

34:05Cal:Well, let's show

34:12Having host chairs and like bonding you are host bro

34:16Cal:By the way, you know, I've been a little host you said still on fucking guess if your second house I'll be third house you deserve that shit

34:24Chip:nah you do it I'm gonna bag should we put a bet on let's get a bet on let's get a bet on I would be so happy if you bag me and you or what can what can we put on here is there a match rating thing you have to dye your hair blonde I ain't doing that blue like ninja why are you shivering undercover bro I can't go undercover or maybe that's what maybe that'll solve everything so would you be willing to dye your hair blue come on bro dye your hair blue if you don't bag you gotta do something funny like

35:08Cal:well like something that's like you know like you don't want to do would you go bleach blonde You gotta do every pod ep No top pod Anything but blue What? What? Anything but blue Uh, red Yeah, beach with a blue fond Red No, I'm not dying my hair, bro Fine, let's do something else No gym for a year I wanna see you in a three build Bro, I'm not good, Maxon Just so you can level up Fuck that, bro Uh, tattoo So you can get a tattoo of their choice, maybe You can, yeah You could choose a tattoo then Oh, fucking ass a lot That's If you don't bag, I choose a tattoo

35:39Chip:Don't really a lot anymore I'll just be getting them all the time Alright, I'll choose a tattoo I get to choose a tattoo for you nothing like um that will get you cancelled or anything but I get to choose a tattoo fine bro fine as well now yeah yeah all right then good luck bro all right I get to do I get

35:56Cal:to do some of that what do I get to the come on guys already involved in the match there

36:00Chip:is a thing yeah and you're not even coming to the stadium to watch it so what's up with that as well I got a ticket that's a fair point so you don't even get tickets these days ex what I've got six tickets I've got I got three mates and three family coming when I was so is he part of the family he's prying about with fucking that

36:18Cal:last year when I gave him one of the best games ever at Wembley and my XG was like fucking 10 they were talking about hanging up a shirt for me now I'm not even going to wait can we say so what's the bet for they were talking about retiring

36:27Chip:is it scoring yeah scoring okay you got a bag of gold is it not rating no no no oh it's up to you what do you which one do you want let's go I think a goal is good let's go well it's a one goal but what happens to you yeah so if you bag

36:41Cal:hair transplant

36:49Cal:second your trim reaches, I decent level. Oh, by the way, the goal can't be a pen. You

36:59Chip:got again, no goals are gold, bro. If you win the pen and you take it, that's fine. I give you a pen in the 90 minutes, but not like penalty shooter. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, but, but what? So if you just like, please give me the pen, like begging it. And they're like, Oh, this is nice. I won't get it though. There's a bigger man than me there, isn't it?

37:13Cal:He would also miss most likely a penalty. You got to get a vasectomy. A vasectomy? Get my nuts tied. It's got to be something mental, bro. Come on. Bro, I'm getting a little tight. You can't not have kids. I know you're running a little sleep, bro. That's how far is it not? Even for you, bro. Fucking hell. God forbid a guy have a little bit of input.

37:36Chip:I'm not sure I'm fucking with your input at all today, bro.

37:39Cal:All right. All right. what about this um you got fuck nah there's not really much good to give him

37:48Chip:well why don't we just do the tattoo thing you get a tattoo as well yeah okay and we do like leg what we do yeah just like I'll probably have it on my phone okay cool I can't do another tattoo boys

37:58Cal:bro I don't know bro you ain't there bro shit um alright I'll get one if I don't end up in the dressing room of one of the teams What? What? Okay. What should my celebration be? Oh, I don't know. Let's conjure one up when we're in the dressing room.

38:17Chip:Can I get Archie? Great to give you one. You can try. Yeah. Message him. Say that we're trying to get you. That's a bit shit because no one will get it. Yeah. Um, is there a, I'm thinking about the clip. I'm thinking about the edits. No, that's kind of, does it have to be some shit? Yeah. Shit. No, I want a good celebration. Oh, I thought you made a tattoo. No, no, no. Bro, I'm going to back. Okay. How about his? You got a slot drop on the corner flag. That would be nice though. You know what? I keep thinking like, it'd be so cool to like run and jump over it. But if you actually like land on it and like goes up your ass, it's going to, oh, you have to walk on all fours.

39:04Chip:You know, the wolf room, we're not about forfeits, bro. We're on about cool, cold celebrations, cool picks for the grid. Yes. Cool edits. I just know what you're going to do anyways. You're just going to wheel off and go like, yeah, it's going to be shit. Even if I had something in mind, I'll just end up running about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, why don't you do that? I'm so hyped. It's actually the best thing ever. Oh, it's so good that all the boys are just going to be doing this. This is a fella's motive.

39:28Cal:This is a, this is a big moment for the pod in general, really, isn't it? Len?

39:35Chip:What about the storage celebration? Can you do that? You look too stiff to do that Oh dear Nah, that was good That was good I could do a little drunk but play the guitar With the fucking corner post That doesn't suit you Or I could just do the drunk but knee side With his third leg drags in the fucking mud Wait, why is that Yeah, yeah No, I don't do that one There's a chance you go falling over Yeah, I think that'll happen I'm not maybe a knee side at Wembley is the dream yeah can't believe we're talking about like you genuinely score bro this is gonna be we're gonna be we might be manifesting a goal look at this what what look at this wait I don't know we've already kind of done the bet and everything I'm gonna score at Wembley let's return to this clip after I've bagged at Wembley in front of 90 ,000 people and I see your head crushed on the canvas so I thought about where the case I a little bit You're trying to get your clip moment here so that it goes from that.

40:38Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me reload it so it's a bit colder. Yeah. Oh, cue the edit after I scored a Wembley.

40:48Cal:I can't wait, bro. Is it being streamed on YouTube? Yeah. Cue the edit. Oh, is it Netflix? YouTube? What? Just figuring out what platform I'm going to watch on.

40:59Chip:No, bro. Might be a laptop. I'm still convinced there's going to be a dropout and they'll be like, right, chip. manager now well they said Speed Speed said no but like there's a chance he can't that's the way they're gonna deal it with you I can't

41:12Cal:and to be fair there are other people that should be ahead of me no they're not not in it regardless but I watched and I was watching I was watching a bit of the Wembley Cup on stream oh my god I saw the clip bro so good bro you weren't even real you said I ascended I was like buzzing I'm like AB just said a compliment about me man yeah

41:31Chip:yeah you look so different I was a little boy charity number to pop up at the bottom like donate to this guy I

41:42Cal:Actually look so malnourished if you look at it. It's like my face is like so drawn It's like fucking five years heroin. Yeah, no you actually like full-on smack it, but you look you know now I look okay Digital camo pan this costume, bro.

41:57Chip:No, it's not stop running that game out, bro. You literally rocked up and you said, I'm trying some new stuff.

42:02Cal:Should I take off this top and see what's rocking up in here?

42:05Chip:Oh, yeah. I actually like that top, by the way. I might have that one. That's actually cold, bro. We're all fucked. Makes it into a poster. There I am. Yeah, bro. Oh, my God. You're fucking mad. Launched it, man. Oh, fucking mad, man.

42:19Cal:We're all, what's this? Bro, look at you. We're all fucked. Oh, wow. And that's Pajanich, isn't it? We kind of look similar. Why am I pulling that face? Not gonna lie, bro. I just look a bit right a little bit more chiseled you might actually mug that I guess it's because I'm like literally 55 kilograms Is that what you are in that? Yeah? Oh my god that jawlines actually Bro guess I just need to lose my calls wrong. I think you've descended

42:46Chip:Peace down your throat that's fucked

42:49Cal:Yeah, look a q-tip bro Yo, that jawline goes fucking crazy, brother. That guy put 10XG past you that fucking Wembley so chill out. Fuck. That's the thing. You need to redeem yourself this year.

43:01Chip:I need to win. If I don't win this year, I know I'm never getting called up again. Well, what team? You're on the better team, I think. Right? In terms of, can we get both of the teams up? Yeah. So you are a part of Sidemen FC. Which is what I wanted anyway. Because black kid's just way cooler. I would agree with that. Red is just a bit wild. What? Black what? Black kit Yeah It does look fucking nice Got you I I don't know if it will be out yet I don't know if it will be out yet But I am managing the YouTube All Stars Okay so you're not I think it will be out Which is kind of annoying Because I was hoping You know like And then I could be there Like the manager I could be like Mate just go up front I've got you

43:40Cal:You're gonna have to clip farm well bro Because your rival is the best clip farmer in the game

43:45Chip:Yeah Jack Joseph Yeah I'm I don't know what to wear because the last outfit was so iconic. How can I level it up? I think go like... It needs to... More sunlounge vibe. More like shorts, t-shirt, little beer hat maybe, or like a sun visor. Okay. Little deck chair, couple beers.

44:05Cal:I don't mind a deck chair and beer idea. That was on my ideas last year, but you know. Yeah, where's the photo? Let's see Sidemen FC. Let's see you on plate. Scroll up. I'm going to read through the team here. You should come with some good ideas. Can you read that? Yeah. There is literally the things are yes, it's better. It's our only one mystery playing the whole thing better.

44:24Chip:Yeah. Yeah, okay But that should be announced. This is your team Cal. No, no, no No, this is it. So you've got Zerka w2s Vic star Toby Toby big one Toby's a big one. But let me tell you something about Toby in these charity matches He dials it all the way down. I know but not when I'm right when I'm fucking pinging

44:44Cal:does he dial it down or is he just not good in the under the flag nah nah seriously he just doesn't

44:50Chip:him and Manny do the same thing he's still not good in them though yeah I know but he genuinely is I'll have a word of him and go we're not really doing that whole 50 % shit this year bro because they've got a stacked team I think they you mean my team yeah yeah the all-stars there's a reason why we called all-stars you got Ginge Simon Bez I think we probably got more well-rounded but we've probably got better individual talent Toby Marlins are baller Big one XQC

45:24Cal:What's Arthur TV like? He's He's like your level Arthur tells me he's good but I've never seen him playing too much Yeah he's probably a bit better than me I don't know

45:33Chip:You got AJ AJ's decent AJ Lacey Alright bro We'll leave it there Yeah, all right. We'll leave it there. Marlon. He's actually a proper baller. Legitimately. Legit baller. Like actual baller. Shit. Yeah. That could be a problem then. He's like a... Toby, Chris and him. He's like a Moussa Dembele sort of vibe in the midfield. Moussa Dembele? Yeah. Nah, that's not the right vibe. I mean, he's too big. Every player says that he's like the best player they've played against. Moussa Dembele. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Stiff arm. Fuck off. That's what Marlon's on, bro. Okay. Don't chat about like, don't chat about Marlizy like you know him bro.

46:14Has he been announced? No, but he will be by this. Okay.

46:17Chip:I don't know who this next person is. Amin Mathu. Bro, come on bro. We all know Amin Mathu. He needs to dial in bro. Do you guys actually know who he is? Nah, I think he's French. Oh, okay. Apparently he's a baller. You fucking serious? I'm serious. Apparently he's a French baller. Well, so what? Your team is absolutely stacked. Yeah, this guy with the man bun. Apparently he's a fucking baller. Damn fuck's sake. A French bro. We got a bit of fucking, got a bit of class on that bitch. yeah Emmanuel Zizou yeah alright that's better go on carry on with his team okay fine I didn't know but yeah fair enough adapt I think he's alright as far as Americans go okay Jinx is okay Jinx is alright he did drift over the ball last year he drift over nothing last year yeah but he's actually alright and then we got Lazy Beam who's apparently diabolical and then we got me who's probably I'm probably gonna set a new record you know quickest pace ever reached you're not fast number 23 on the back

47:10Cal:I can't wait to see this. I'll be checking up to bro. Seeing what speeds you clock up, bro Wait, I'm someone down

47:19Chip:On that pitch I'll be willing to put you getting injured I'm gonna fucking break some First guy to kill someone at a try match damn that would actually That'd be a good guy. Good guy. Keep winding me up.

47:36Cal:Yeah, that's all right.

47:37Chip:I'm not. Let's run through my team. Who would you kill? So I've got Simon Miniminter. Big. Solid player. Ethan Bazinga, absolute engine. Yeah. And he's like, he plays Sunday league. Like his actual foot, he plays. Yeah. He's going to be, he's going to be my go-to man. Then we've got JJ. He's, he's shit. He can put in a shift randomly sometimes though. He's shit. Okay. Yep. He's shit. Angry Jigs. That, that's what I'm fucking talking about. I can't wait.

48:03Cal:I'll snap him early. Mate, honestly, I haven't seen his team. That's a cheat code. He's probably the best there. That guy, that guy, that guy last year, he was so good. In 2026. He's rocking the back, put him up front. He scored. He's a great player. He's a father now, Mini Minter. Yeah. Really. Well, obviously Simon is just the number one. Oh, I don't know. Toby,

48:24Chip:you got Toby as well. No, I mean on this team.

48:27Cal:Oh,

48:27Chip:sorry. On my team. Next, we got Kylie Cox. Sketch. Sketch. I don't know about Mr. Who's the Boss. I don't know what he's like. He's a tech YouTuber. It's a roll of the dice. Like a boss. George Clark, he's a solid player. Just what I need. He's a bit of an engine. Does what you want whenever you want. Batch is solid. I've never seen that bloke kick a ball. I'm worried because I look at his TikToks and you wouldn't think baller. I don't want to give you tips, but I feel like at the back, he'd be pretty solid. Chazza played for Spurs Academy. Fuck off. He did. Chalice is a serious baller like literally I'm gonna bet him right now fair enough by the way

49:05Cal:this is a brilliant team it's more well-rounded innit but Danny Ahrens as well just put Danny Ahrens and Ginger at the back and you've we've locked it off I'll have my way with him I don't know I've only got one you're gonna end up just having your way with yourself yeah I'll call him up I wanna see if he's any good first player ever to be sick at Wembley yeah someone said they got a 200 quid bet with their mate that I'm gonna be sick and I think about that shit when I'm on the treadmill

49:30Chip:Yeah, valid. Here we go. Call him up. I actually think you will be sick. I'm gonna make I just Bro, I just I think your fitness is gonna be so bad. I think you get injured. I'm here. Stop manifesting

49:43Cal:Hey, like this guy's big big opportunity right now. He's gonna have a great time I hear it. Are you calling?

49:49Chip:Yeah, Chaz. I want to see if he actually played for Spurs Academy. There's no way I feel like I've heard that somewhere that's all good bro the thing about these streamers bro they're all nocturnal yeah that's what it'll be they'll even rate that now this next person Ibai is a mega Spanish streamer like insane is he good? I have no idea about his football ability but he is like just a massive YouTuber he's the biggest YouTuber there

50:19Cal:oh my god yeah fair enough yeah

50:24Chip:absolutely mega you want to know who i would have liked to have seen in this that isn't matt armstrong oh can you kick can you kick ball i don't know but he lives in miami now oh i saw that that he's got a gaff there now um el rubius yeah he might actually be the biggest i don't know but he's massive as well um so i've got him i've got carrie minati your best mate chip probably happy that i'm not his manager this time yeah i've got a deal deal with carrie minati this time so give him a penalty penalty shootout i'm not doing that i'm not doing we Can we just say the whole names? Can we just say the normal names?

50:53Cal:Let me read them out. Nah. Okay. We'll move on. Squeezy, the guy that does GP Explorer. Who is this? It's GP Explorer, the big F4 race with all the French YouTubers. The massive stream. Oh, yes. That's him. He's a massive French YouTuber. Yeah. Okay. That's quite cool. Bro, I can't believe how much you get into this shit now. Shit. Yeah.

51:14Chip:I've got some big foreign talent in my team here.

51:16Cal:They've tapped into some foreign YouTubers this year, haven't they?

51:18Chip:I think with the absence of Speed and Mr. Beast, they've widened their search. Apparently he was actually better than expected last year. He was. We've got Jason. He calls me coach, so it's great that I get to manage him again. He didn't get too much. Oh, fuck. I've got fucking stable Ronaldo. Oh, fuck's sake. He's a stinker in the game. Stable. He's a good lad, though.

51:44Cal:He's got a nice heart, good spirit. Yeah, but that's not what I need in my teams. Nah, sometimes you need a player like that.

51:49Chip:How can you have Ronaldo in his name and put on that sort of display? That's a good point. That's absurd. It's not even in his actual name. It's always called Ronnie Nets. Yeah. Shit. How have we ended up with Stable? Because I've Nets in his name, though. Good fucking... I don't know. I'm just trying to make it. Put the ball in there.

52:04Cal:You try. You give him a go.

52:05Chip:And I've got Danny Aarons. I actually like my team. But I'll be honest. The foreign wild cards, I kind of need to see. On the training day, I'm going to have to get a little look. Let me ask you a question. Is it kind of like predetermined who starts where? or is it based on the training day? I'm pretty, yeah, I got to choose my start at 11. So let's see like on the training day, you're like, I don't really know this guy and he's just whacking top in. You're like, all right, fuck it. This guy goes strike. You need to give Jack Joseph slops. I'm telling you, that's the easiest way. I can easily be bribed.

52:33Chip:If somebody wants to start, they just ping me. I'll give everybody my PayPal beforehand and we just do a bidding system. Okay. I'm going to sort Jack out with some cool shit and I'm going to send him a compilation of all my best trick shots and kicks. Yeah.

52:45Cal:Sweet, bro. I hope we're going to FaceTime him Just give him some advice

52:49Chip:Yeah, you should

52:50Cal:I'm surprised he hasn't hit you up yet already No, we've been talking

52:53Chip:Yeah

52:54Cal:Like, what's him last year?

52:56Chip:Yeah

52:56Cal:Not about this, but we talked Yeah, just bits and bobs Yeah Probably going to give me a call any day now Yeah Like, yo, Chip, like That's a lot of pressure Like, how did you handle such a big occasion Do such a good job? Create so much good content I mean, bro, it's kind of like You're kind of born with it, you know? Not much I can say Yeah He's gonna do a good job actually Like Yeah Being honest You see that meme as well Where it's like That mask is like He's gonna do a fucking great job

53:22Chip:And you're crying behind the mask

53:23Cal:That's how I feel bro

53:24Chip:It's all good man It's all good I wouldn't Don't get Don't beat yourself up about it

53:28Cal:Nah me and Theo We're going through a bit of therapy and shit Like You know what There's like a Where's Theo right now I'm gonna message Theo We're in a group called Let's rebelle him up I'm belling up Theo right now We're in a group called Sidemen Survivors Can we do some proper rage bait Can we just like Yeah let's do it Let me get him on right now. Paul will as well. Let's make them feel crap too. I genuinely think the day after the charity match if I got in a car crash and died I'd be like, fine. What?

53:56Chip:No, that rang through. That means he's hung up on me. No, no, no, no. He's on Do Not Disturb. Call again. Let's reload that. I'll call him on WhatsApp. You know when you do one of them? No. I'd be pressing notify anyway about the most irrelevant shit.

54:11Cal:I have no idea what you're talking about, bro. text when someone's on. Do not disturb. You can notify anyone. Yo. What?

54:20Chip:What? I think he's sorting it. Yeah, hello, mate. You alright? Yeah, just on the pod right now, we're just building up a few people to make Chip feel a bit better. Just wanted to get your thoughts on the charity match situation. Woo!

54:38Cal:Oh, yeah. I can't actually speak right now, Maui. I've actually been told I can't talk on the subject.

54:44Chip:Wait, why is that?

54:46Cal:Oh, no particular reason.

54:48Chip:So I'll see you there, bro. Yeah, AB's buzzing to see you. Yeah. Oh, maybe I will, mate.

54:55Cal:Yo, Theo, you still coming to Charity Match Survivors Therapy Group on Wednesday?

54:59Chip:Yeah, man.

55:00Cal:Good. Pick me up, I'll be with Will.

55:04Chip:Every night, yeah. I sit on the end of my bed, stare at a wall, and just pray for a text of Simon.

55:09Cal:No, but bro, the thing is... I think you're the mystery player, bro.

55:11Chip:Are you the mystery player? Am I? Is this what the phone calls about? Wait, wait, Theo. So I've got something to tell you about the mystery player spot. Yo, is it me? So basically, like, on inside, Marlon got offered that in the temptation room, so they've not announced it yet, but Marlon's the mystery player. No, no, no, no, you're lying. No, no, I'm actually not. This is horrible. This is this guy's dream. Bro, I got called last year. No, no, you actually told me in the middle of the High Rocks yesterday that I'm the misty player. Bro, you look cold on that High Rocks poster as well. Listen on the comments about me saying, where's the other?

55:50Chip:Yeah, anyways, bro, listen up. Just wanted to get some quick thoughts of you, but it's good to see that you're taking it really well. Are you still going to attend and support? Bro, I've never been more depressed in my life. All right, bro, thanks for tuning in. I'll chat to you in a bit. You should make some YouTube vids, bro. Don't forget where you came from, man.

56:09Cal:What? what does that even mean well that was nice it's glad to see he's taking it well the divorce well yeah it's you know what I think he's probably satisfied with how much Wembley time he's had but it would have just been nice to know the last one was the last one yeah because he's the last one and he's not there and he wasn't ready to say goodbye that's the issue

56:31Chip:because let's be honest he of anybody has had some mega moments at that ground he's done his time and we've all been telling him like

56:39Cal:nah you'll get that call don't even worry about and then he actually didn't but now he's passing the tone on to me I'm not sure you're quite that caliber McGeedy spin I've been practicing McGeedy spins in my gaff okay you should have seen my Snapchat yesterday I've put like shoes out like cones and I'm doing tribbling drills with a sideman FC football I'm not joking no that is good though that is good you'll lock the fuck in bro I'm going back up north after this all inside fast done I'm going to rent out an Astro by myself just me just me the laces and the ball I fought with it you gotta really understand the turf bro you know

57:13Chip:should we call someone up and tell them they're the mystery player

57:16Cal:Max Vosch can I just say can we do Max Vosch anyone thinks this is cruel I was in LA last year we did it for you and I got a call from you lot being like oi you're in the charity match and like part of me thought I don't have the motion for that but at the same time I was like I might I did have a bit of a fucking I got a bit giddy heart started beating and it was a joke

57:33Chip:yeah we did that to a few people I felt I did feel bad afterwards but we realized we were making content around it because we were both managers so we could make content around.

57:42Cal:Jesus, don't. We don't talk about that. Sorry. Could do Arthur Hill again. God. No, we can't, bro. Oh my God.

57:50Chip:We've got to do some. I've grown as a human. I just can't hack it.

57:54Cal:Nah, I'm really up for this. I want to see someone suffer like me.

57:58Chip:He will. You do Will and E, but Will and E will just tell you to fuck off. He will, yeah. Yeah, he's probably.

58:03Cal:He's been through a lot.

58:04Chip:Who's like up and coming that you'd be there like? Oh, yeah. Any of the Bob boys? Oh, you could do Jakey. Jakey Davis, yeah. Jakey would be good. Yes, they all got Jakey's number. So you know the mystery player, Jakey? He'll know, though. Yeah, I don't think... He would go along with it. He wouldn't get away with his shit anymore. Also, I think you two were already announced as a manager at that point. People don't even know you're the manager. Yeah. What the fuck's Calvary? When are they announcing you? This is what I'm saying. I might not even be in it, bro. I might come in. Do you mind if I crash the Sabina five-year shit?

58:34Chip:Nah, I don't mind. Sick, bro. because I've been told I'm playing but if I fart on this fire will it will something happen yeah a little explosion I reckon you're going to get your own cool sick reveal no I don't think so where the fuck is my reveal we got a reveal last year I'm not preying on your downfall but like I hope like Jimskin is like subbed in instead or someone like that instead of someone else

58:56Cal:we need you two in it to carry the torch

58:59Chip:yeah it's always got to have two fellas members I guess exactly yeah I don't know if I'm getting a cock I'm excited You'll actually squeal I'm excited for how excited you are Fucking mental So your mum's gonna be At the Simon Cherry match Yeah my mum, my dad My brother My few mates How am I not going? VIP box Wacking them all up the What?

59:21Cal:My boy Ducky and Carter More Carter But the other one

59:24Chip:Ducky's gonna be there Fucking let's go Where's Carter? Carter's in my box I've got him too I think he's travelling I don't know Nah He'll be there He's finding himself Nah he's back now

59:34Cal:I've got him He's back I've got him You've got him

59:36Chip:Yeah I've got him He's in mine I feel like it's weird I don't know Shit Oh Manusfit It's annoying Because I was gagging To talk about this I have only watched That episode one Yeah it's going to be Ages since it's been out I just wanted to say I weren't enjoying it That Justin Waller That just Oh my god That Justin Waller bloke Is One of the best clips Of all time Is him going Let me just say That car is not Success I don't want you To look at that car And think that's success And Louis Theroux is like Let's not make a big deal that bit. Stop chatting about it. Oh, that guy's a fucking freak, bro.

1:00:10And that Myron is the biggest dorky fucking loser I've ever seen in my life. He needs to be deleted from the server. I think... From the server? The thing is, right, about a lot of these guys that preach this shit, at least some of them have like a bit of something where you can see like, oh, I can see why people watch them or like why they could like get the attention of young guys. They could have like good physique or they're a bit funny or whatever. He's got nothing. He's got nothing. He's just a dork, bro. He's got nothing. Did you see his missus? Bro, he's fucking chud. What does that mean?

1:00:41He's a neaky chud. And he's not funny. What's a chud? He's just got... I don't know, bro. I'm guessing from what I've been thinking about because I've been thinking about this the last few days, what does it mean? Is it a nerd? I'm guessing it's like the opposite of a chad as well. Oh, okay. A little bit like us. But yeah, it's just that Myron bloke, really. Fucking hell. Surprisingly, Ed Matthews came across the best. He's the one clip. I've seen girls posting TikToks like obviously really against the whole thing. Yeah. But they're like, but Ed was, why was Ed kind of jokes in that?

1:01:09Chip:The bit where he's with Louis through and then he just goes, no, he's not a pedo. No, it's Louis Forex, mate. So good. You should go on fresh and fit and have it out with you. I think that's the only way to resolve this hatred that you're feeling.

1:01:28Cal:No, I just, I don't think I've ever just, he's probably watching now what have you got to say to him just fucking loser bro like actual rock bottom pond scum loser like just like bacteria bro like oh fuck's sake did you watch the whole thing I've not really dialed into this I don't know I just feel like that Justin Waller obviously that was the best obviously a bit of like a weird cringe guy but like I can see how some American guys are like this guy's cool man like I'm fucked with this guy or like Like, HS, like, he's obviously had his funny moments on TikTok and stuff, so he's built an audience.

1:02:03But, like, this fucking fresh and fit guy just, bro. Yeah. Absolutely niche. Just nothing. Didn't we get asked to go on Fresh and Fit back in the day?

1:02:14Cal:Yeah, we did. Oh, my God. Could you imagine the fucking boys rolling over? Just sat there, and he's, like, fucking trying to get us to just call these girls. What's your body count? Yeah. Oh, bro. Nah, it's low. Funnyest part as well is he's, like, yeah my girl doesn't care if I have other girlfriends like she don't care she just wants to make me happy and then she comes on camera she's like I'm not really fucking with it and she's like really nice and she's like nah I don't really like that and he's kind of like no but that's not he's like nah that's what I'm saying I'm talking about in the future maybe and he's just bottling it in front of her and she's left him now and she's probably actually he's probably like fuck that was the only nice person that I'll ever like because I'm a sad piece of shit these guys though they go on these kind of shows and even though it's gone fucking tits up terribly bad for them they spin it into content like they spin it they still managed to make it oh no that was dark fuck hs has made piz morgan walk off his own show i saw that clip that as the issue is that it's piz morgan has got him on just just to make himself look like the good guy like he's not done any research he's just gone on because he's thought hang about this guy's all right this guy's easy pickings i'm just going to go in on him easy clip easy vid and he's just been and he doesn't know who hs is doesn't know he's a been rage baiting people on live stream for years and he's gonna say the most fuck shit he can HS will always say fuck shit in the documentary like Louis Fru's like just obviously putting it on him every now and then and he just turns around and he goes what about Jimmy Savile bro yeah yeah it's just clip farming yeah he's just that's what he does

1:03:41Chip:right this last bit here Jorgino please tell me someone's even this is fucking hilarious I've been dialled yeah you're in it yeah Jorgino versus Chapel Rowan I was a little bit upset because I fucked with the music yeah but after this so she notoriously has like always had like she don't fuck with anybody what's she a bit mean well like the paparazzi she really like keeps her boundaries she's like fuck you like she got a similar vibe to you bro like genuinely like you're like a male chapel rowan is it because if a kid comes up to me i'll be quite sound to the kid yeah five times

1:04:19Cal:out of ten. You said roll the dice for the kid. Fine.

1:04:23Chip:I'll take the 50 % chance.

1:04:25Cal:Yeah, you might get autographed picture and he might even send you fucking ten quid on fucking PayPal. Oh, he might just kick you in the head. I've never kicked a kid in the head. Fine, you need him.

1:04:35Chip:What is this? I don't know who anyone is. So anyways, look, Jorginho is his wife and stepdaughter, I think. Wife and stepdaughter are at a hotel restaurant and Chapel Rowan is playing in Brazil. She's like a pop star. Oh wait, what's the name? A H O T T O G O. She's got a lot of bangers. Yeah. All right. Nah, she does bro. Okay. Anyways, at least to the, to the eyes. She, uh, the kid just wants to double check, see if it is Chapel Rowan. So the kid just kind of walks past and like as a little look and then goes away. Um, and she's a mat, like the kid is a massive Chapel Rowan fan. I had a sign and everything like that, but didn't take any of it.

1:05:17Chip:Didn't take any pictures, just wanted to double check. Yeah. Anyways, then a security guard comes over to the table and says like, that's inappropriate. You can't be like going over to her like that. Like all this sort of stuff. Anyways, Jorginho who he's not actually there is Mrs. tells George, Jorginho Jorginho that pose a massive story. Now keep in mind, this is really important. Jorginho currently plays in Brazil. Yeah. Right. And you know how the fans are out there. They live and die by ball. So she's about to play a gig later that night. Where is this, by the way? What country? Sao Paulo.

1:05:52Okay. In Brazil. Yeah. Fuck.

1:05:53Chip:Yeah. And he puts out this massive like essay thing saying like, it's so rude to fans. How can you send that over to a kid? The kid didn't even take any pictures of you. Just kind of wanted to double check. Kind of a valley crash out from Jorginho so far. Yes. Yeah. It is a valley crash out. And then it goes, it all goes quiet. all these football fans are just raining terror on Chapel Run. Like there's genuine security threats at the venue now. Yeah, he probably, even though it was a valid crash, he probably should be aware of what would happen there. Yeah. And then anyways, the next day after the show, the show all went fine.

1:06:28Chip:She had like extra security for it, blah, blah, blah. She posted a thing like, hey, I've seen all this stuff going on. Just want to say that wasn't my personal security guard. That is someone else. I didn't tell the security guard to go over to you and do all this stuff. And everyone's there like, nah, because, because the mom posts another thing in response to the chapel Rowan thing saying, nah, it definitely wasn't hotel security either though. So who is this? Because it's her security. Like, right. Let's say for example, I go over to KSI's table and I'm like, is that KSI? And I'm peeking a little bit and Steve comes over and goes like, don't be doing that shit.

1:07:06Does that mean JJ's told him to do that? or does that mean Steve's just doing his?

1:07:10Chip:No, but it doesn't matter because what Steve does there is direct representation of JJ. Because if that wasn't the case, you would be there like, why are you going over and saying that? They didn't even do anything. And also the most important thing here, it's a kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of all things, this is the furthest thing from being a kid. It's a little kid. It's fine. She would cry and shit. Yeah, and so it's all kicked off. and Chapel Rowan has had like a bunch of other stuff to do like similar things that she like there's memes that she just hates her fans so it's just kicked those off again so it's kind of it checks out yeah yeah and so everybody's kind of and then she went and she was there like that wasn't my security people think like no you're just trying to get out of it yeah yeah it's so easy so I know it was the show went fine I don't know if there was any like booze or anything you see about the uh the president of or the the new mayor of Brazil or Sao Paulo something like that he like he's just been elected like a weekend or something and he's like yeah she'll never play in this fucking city again oh bro can you have this bro she fought with the wrong kid yeah she wouldn't have had a clue as well Champions League winner fuck up

1:08:17Cal:yeah she's probably not that arse or is she she's probably not like someone like that mate no but I think she would have been because she actually responded to it if she would yeah but her response was not apologetic if you read it it was just kind of like that's a you problem like I didn't do it that's what I said pretty much

1:08:33Chip:fucking mental that alright lads anyways we're actually gonna have to wrap up this pod now because we've got episode 2 that we're filming we've got a couple guests over from the United States of America who came all this way for us what's a good bit of lore for you crane alright we'll leave it there guys we will see you all on the next episode let us know what you think actually to be honest guys I don't give it some people will go oh the last one was so much better it happens every fucking new set this is by far the best set you can argue amongst yourselves appreciate all the support in the last season but we've just reached a new fucking level yes hopefully we don't care about your opinion this shit is epic so cold thank you very much big thank you to everybody Chip you did a fucking world class effort on this Stanley Lee Tess Dan Andrew the whole fucking gang absolutely smashed this out of the park Big up, everybody.

1:09:31Chip:Thank you for all your hard work, and we will see you on episode two of the greatest podcast on the motherfucking planet. Come on, back to the good, bro.

1:09:39Cal:Good night. God bless you. Take care of yourself. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

1:09:44Chip:Okay.

1:09:45Cal:Be safe out on them streets.