294. Haaland On The Podcast, AB's New Car & Releasing Our First Song…

3:41Chip:Because if you're a cat person, it makes me think you ain't ever had a dog.

3:45Cal:Yeah, it makes me think that you don't really understand companionship with a pet.

3:50Chip:And I think you're a bad lover. No, I'm serious. Because a dog, that's love.

3:57Cal:Like, you look a cat in the eye, you've known him for 10 years, and that motherfucker will steal everything you've got. He'll leave you dead. He'll shag your missus. He'll do what he wants. yeah he ain't asked about there's no love as much as you convince yourself nah he perched up next to me he don't rate you he doesn't give a fuck you feed him his little kibble thing or whatever cats eat

4:18Chip:shit food as well like at least my dog's eating that raw steak

4:21Cal:yeah

4:22Chip:what's your cat eating

4:23Cal:dogs have got so much character man cats have got nothing

4:27Chip:like dogs have like every dog's got a bit of mental illness in it do you know what I mean yeah and that's what makes them your boy yeah it's the same it's the same with a friendship group I look at you like I know you're mentally ill. That's why you're my boy.

4:39Cal:And they will guard you. They'll protect you. You won't do that for me, but... You see people going out buying security cats.

4:47Chip:No, I got a little feline looking after me. Yeah, shit.

4:50Cal:No. And then you got them people that have got 10 cats. They're them cat ladies.

4:56Chip:Yeah.

4:57Cal:Shit, man.

4:58Chip:Like, you're fucked.

5:00Cal:Yeah. Like the lady in the film Jeepers Creepers. She's got like 10 cats. Cats are somewhat

5:06Chip:inherently evil about them i think i think i think where cats go death follows oh no way

5:17Cal:that was actually a crazy bar the fact that you've had to run up and do all that

5:22Chip:that's what that's what's nice back on set baby can just enjoy this thing that we've created are cats

5:31Cal:are they they originate from Egypt or is that just like the kind of the big cat law like the synxes and shit

5:39Chip:I think yeah you know what like yeah who's arsed but you know what happens

5:44Cal:in Egypt a lot of street scamming yeah cats are kind of like that if cats were humans

5:50Chip:they would scam you cats remind me

5:52Cal:the fellas on London like the London Bridges playing them games yeah

5:56Chip:yeah the ones where's the ball boom boom boom boom fuck off

5:59Cal:It was never there in the first place.

6:01Chip:You never had a chance at winning.

6:02Cal:Speaking of them London Bridge scammers, they actually might be some of the worst people in the world. Like I watched a couple of videos on them and they just wind me up. Because it's just like innocent tourists coming past it. Not even from London. Just getting brought in. Can't they just get nicked and just fucked up? Yeah, I don't know why they don't get... Where should we send them all to? Why do they not just get nicked? Why is it not police just going on there and being like, fuck, you've been doing this for years. Just scamming shit.

6:26Chip:Can we not just send them Birmingham or something? Where should we send them? I don't know. Why Birmingham? Just like somewhere I'm not going to go. So fair enough.

6:34Cal:It's a second city to be fair. All right. We're done with our cat slander. Sorry to anybody that does have cats, but you need to rethink right now.

6:43Chip:What I want you to do. Go find your cat. First of all, the cat ain't fucking with you. He's just going to run away from you, but it was go and find your cat. Yeah. And look at him in the eyes. And I swear to God, if you look at him for more than five seconds, you'll realize that shit evil as hell. And you need, you need to cleanse your home.

6:59Cal:Look, I've got cats at home And I think the same thing I think, what are you doing, mom? Well, you got family cats Yeah I've been trying to convince them to get dogs They're just like, we can't, we got cats Alright, well get rid of the cats then

7:09Chip:Oh, never had a trade offer before

7:11Cal:You know what I mean? Trade them, trade them Do anything

7:13Chip:Two cats for one dog And I'm allergic So I just go home and have to deal with that shit Yeah, also, always I'm always sniffing And rubbing my nose and shit You look like I've done a big bag of gear The way I'm just like

7:26Cal:Exactly, mate Fuck Anyway, yeah, so if you're a cat person, sorry, you're wet.

7:31Chip:We're a little bit, we're on, we're on, um, I slept 11 hours when we got home, full body reset,

7:37Cal:because the World Cup KO'd me. I didn't, I, um, I fucked it, fell asleep on the sofa as soon as I got in for a couple hours, then I stayed awake till 6am. Then I went to sleep, then I woke up at 8am for work.

7:48Chip:You must be new to this, bro.

7:49Cal:Yeah, but now I've reset, because last night I managed to stay up till, like, midnight, and then just went to sleep.

7:54Chip:Nice.

7:54Cal:and now back in the game ready for a fucking huge day

8:01Chip:was that our greatest ever content trip?

8:04Cal:probably although we did fuck up the podcast side of it because we didn't get a single American guest

8:08Chip:we had them lined up

8:10Cal:we did have some lined up what can you do if they just bail? what can you do? the people don't see it like that they're in orders they gotta suck my balls

8:23Chip:but it's not due to a lack of trying

8:25Cal:yeah we did try and also people don't get to see the behind the scenes

8:31Chip:you could get American people on but they just don't fit the vibe of the pod the escape pod that's one that I wish we did try to get on they couldn't make it anyway

8:40Cal:they said on their pod

8:42Chip:oh really we were going to go for drinks with the guy

8:46Cal:we were going to go for drinks with the guy

8:48Chip:yeah but that was the night that we got back we were completely fucked from our trip and I was there like I literally if I see them I'll just throw up in their face I don't want that to be my first interaction with Hackney that moment means a lot to me and I'm not fucking at all

9:03Cal:we'll still get them on look escape pod is an easy chemistry pod like it will just go off

9:09Chip:they need to find an excuse to come to the UK

9:11Cal:they will they will this is a message to them now come to the UK

9:17Chip:and we'll lock it in

9:19Cal:there's gotta be some weird

9:20Chip:shitty Marvel film that those all get gassed over

9:24Cal:fuck Spider-Man's out on Friday come watch Spider-Man I'm watching it on Wednesday already got my tickets I'm super excited for it nah yeah come over and then we'll go for drinks and we'll have dinner and then we'll make fuck we'll just do some content

9:36Chip:what you don't understand is Chip's a king of fucking London like the moment he walks up anywhere they just open the door they say we got you the private room

9:43Cal:that is true whatever you want fellas I will make it happen

9:46Chip:that's it alright cool so that sorted yeah fuck it it was still a sick trip adapt we need to have words with him we'll just have to kidnap him and wrestle him

10:00Cal:that would have been a great pod so good top of his game right now I guess he just bailed because of the streaming university stuff

10:08Chip:yeah yeah yeah yeah 100 % 100 % 100 % 100 %

10:17Cal:we'll redeem ourselves in the coming months with some great guests.

10:20Chip:We almost had Theo Baker on today, mate. I think that would have sent the fans fucking west. I messed up.

10:24Cal:Well, Jack Joseph was meant to come on today. That would have been good. He just kind of just was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be there. And they stopped replying to me.

10:31Chip:Have we fallen off? Oh, no. Potentially. No, no. You know what? There was one guy, I blocked him in the comments of our video. It rattled me so much. They're like, this podcast is flopping. And it wound me up because our numbers have never been bigger than ever before. Yeah, the numbers are great. We're the biggest podcast in the UK for the audience that we reach.

10:54Cal:Yeah.

10:54Chip:Like, go and look at your favorite pods.

10:57Cal:We're consistent, man. Yeah, all right. Diary of SEO, slightly bigger.

11:01Chip:Leave that one out. Find me another pod. Yeah. Look, man, we're consistent.

11:06Cal:We've been here every week. We've never missed a week.

11:09Chip:We don't miss.

11:10Cal:We're consistently here. And yeah, sometimes we might be consistently shit. But we're consistent.

11:15Chip:We're still consistent. We're still here. We're still Five years You do lot You have the old So I just blocked him I said if you're not If you're not Supporting and hyping up The boys In their moment of need Yeah

11:26Cal:We're in a moment of need We need some guests We need people To want to come on We don't want to It's like Manchester United Right We used to sign players Just And they would come For the peas Yeah Alexis Sanchez You know Di Maria Shit like that I want players That want us That want the club You know what I mean

11:43Chip:That's such a good analogy And also We can't Like It's like going in a chance of a window. All the fans are there like, oh, just make a fucking signing. So you just signed some random fucking people and they're on the pod and they're like, what the fuck? We've had that before. The solos are better.

11:58Cal:Yeah. They are. We've had that before where you don't connect with a guest and it's just wanking. You sat there like, oh, I'm doing an interview. Also, I don't even care. Like, I'm just, I don't want to be lying and pretending I care. You know, I care about very few people in this world.

12:12Chip:I tell you who I'd like to get another style of pod on and it'll be one for where AB's on because I don't think he likes this type of pod but like the Mike O 'K's, the Ash Dykes I really enjoy chatting with them. Oh Raphael Rowe. Raphael Rowe another one. Yeah he was brilliant.

12:27Cal:You know what we could get. Those ones are like mad specific because they've got to be

12:32Chip:nutcases that have done mad shit. We're not getting some guy that's walked from the top of the UK to the

12:38Cal:bottom and not arsed. Yeah we need mad shit. What about Russell Crowe? What's his name? What?

12:43Chip:Hardest geezer. done that whole running shit. Russell Crowe. It's Russell something. What the fuck are you on? Mike Russell. What's his name?

12:52Cal:That is not his name, bro. Mike Russell. He's the highest geezer. I don't know his government name. I'm sorry.

12:56Chip:I'm not baiting out his government name. No, no. Watch. Russ Cuck. You're saying. Russ Cuck. Oh my God. So I was actually so close. You called him Russell Crowe. Yeah, Russell. So I got the first bit. It's Russ Cuck. And then the last bit starts with a C. That's not a bad shout. It kind of looks a bit gritty like Russell Crowe did in The Gladiator. Fuck, bro. Don't you see this shit?

13:14Cal:You're on some fuck shit, bro.

13:18Chip:So, anyways, that's the guest shit sorted. Because you lot wow me up in the comments.

13:23Cal:They have some, there is some substance to their comments. There is some truth to it. But at the same time. I think the vlogs made up for it though.

13:32Chip:I think the vlogs were unbelievable. And the comments on all the vlogs were like, nah, you lot need to do this all the time. Unfortunately, I don't want to see Chip that much ever again.

13:40Cal:The vlogs were great.

13:40Chip:How did you find living with the two boys? Fine Yeah Easy I thought it was It went way better than I thought it was

13:47Cal:Bro there wasn't anything Anything Yeah No but you know what I thought The only thing I didn't like is how much FIFA is being played Because sometimes I was like Yo I'm trying to Trying to play some narrative based shit bro Like

14:00Chip:I saw you downloaded Assassin's Creed I stopped the download Yeah This guy needs to just

14:05Cal:And I started playing it there I was like I need this And now I'm playing it at home

14:11Chip:I thought we'd have at least one like mini fallout where it's like you know where you're like so close to people you're getting drunk with them all the time you're hungover you're agitated you're irritated you're tired I thought we'd kick off with each other at least once I don't think there was one kickoff

14:25Cal:yeah there wasn't everyone was just chill as hell but it was brilliant wasn't it fucking class great house as well so we all had our own room we all had our own space

14:32Chip:big up Lee and Tempo cooked together all that content shit was getting turned around within 24 hours sometimes It was actually so good Road trip video is doing well I hope you guys like the road trip video Feel like that one Maybe we could have made a bit better But like driving for that long Is just kind of shit

14:49Cal:Well it was me driving bro Shout out to me 10 hours I did In 10 hours of driving 5 there 5 back And that way back Non-stop Didn't even stop for a fucking hit

15:01Chip:Oh my god did you see the comments On that one by the way Everybody's saying I can't believe you missed New Haven Pizza well guess what wasn't in the youtube video that was in the loaded one is me begging to go to fucking new haven pizza why didn't we go we went oh because ab kept going let's just fucking get to boston to fair was it arizona i don't care but i wanted this is the best pizza in the world supposedly why did we go to the other pizza spot because they had a challenge

15:29Cal:and we had to do the pizza challenge i see and we got nowhere near to be honest that pizza that we did have was lovely. It was, the fact that it was a challenge and it still tastes good. I just can't imagine New Haven pizza being that much better than that pizza that we had anyway because that pizza

15:44Chip:was fucking class. I'm going back. That was a good road trip.

15:47Cal:I really enjoyed that.

15:49Chip:It was a lot of fun. The right amount of tomfoolery, some would say.

15:53Cal:Yeah. Great whip. Shit whip. I actually gained so much XP though. Now that I've driven that, like, fuck. I feel like I could

16:01Chip:drive anything. How's it? Did you go to check your car yesterday?

16:05Cal:no I haven't I'm gonna go tomorrow and then I'm gonna take it valet do you reckon it's out I don't think it'll start it hasn't been driven in like 7 to 8 weeks yeah

16:13Chip:fuck come pick me up

16:14Cal:there's no way it'll start and it needs to go to get a detail and all that shit what does that mean it needs like just fully cleaned everywhere it's fucking oh look a bit grim yeah then I need to make a little argue isn't it kind of crazy

16:27Chip:just come back just check out the 9-11 that's a cool thing it is great

16:31Cal:it is great isn't it it's a cool thing to say and then I'll just I need to go on a little weekend away so I can take it somewhere

16:38Chip:Why don't you drive it into the Alps? What?

16:41Cal:What? Drive it abroad? Yeah Drive it to the Alps Like Dolomites or something

16:46Chip:Not the Alps I swear that's Or is it Italian roads?

16:49Cal:No Dolomites is like It might be Italy Yeah Maybe it is I've been to Dolomites

16:55Chip:Far to drive to that Yeah

16:56Cal:Oh yeah it's further isn't it? Miles That's fucking miles away Maybe the Alps could be kind of cool though

17:01Chip:Switzerland Take it Switzerland

17:03Cal:That wouldn't be a bad idea

17:04Chip:Go to one of those wellness retreats Whack it on like the Eurotunnel Yeah

17:08Cal:I take my car on there Have you? Yeah, smashed up the rims

17:11Chip:Oh, that gives me confidence Yeah It's quite a wide car as well

17:16Cal:Ah, fuck it I'll give it a little go You'd be better than me though

17:21Chip:AB's getting a new car What are you thinking about? He whacked in a Eurus in here We just had to do that thing Oh my god When he put the Eurus in the chat I was like, this guy's

17:29Cal:Not really serious Put the gun down

17:32Chip:Did you see a Snapchat? Ever since the regular traffic thing, I think now when he drives it, he don't get the feeling of like, yeah.

17:38Cal:He's got to him, but I don't know if that's true because he's now going ahead and putting in more regular traffic cars. So I think he's not bothered by that comment.

17:46Chip:No, no, no. He put in a Lambo Uris. That is not regular traffic, by the way. I'm just putting that out there. Uris is regular traffic.

17:53Cal:I don't want to sound out of touch, but you see that Uris is so much. It's the default new money whip. It is, isn't it?

18:01Chip:Yeah. I guess it's still great. It's still cool And like

18:04Cal:Anybody would love to have one But I think if you're going to spend That amount on a car

18:08Chip:There are many great other options And also You see him He don't play golf Not got kids He likes having a big car though Doesn't do anything That requires space Get yourself the nastiest whip

18:22Cal:I do think he should get a two seater But he said he just likes The big size Which I understand

18:28Chip:I know but like Bro you ain't Like

18:32Cal:he could get he could get a really really cool car for sure bro

18:37Chip:alright we're gonna do some just the the fellas world cup awards here so we'll try and fly through this I know everyone's a little bit exhausted from all the world cup stuff but I think it's important that we do this

18:47Cal:alright fuck it let's go the best game I'd say England best Mexico

18:51Chip:just the Azteca whole thing mad worst game 0-0

18:59Cal:is this worst game overall all in the tournament? No, I think it's the fellas

19:02Chip:World Cup awards. So I think it'll be the ones that we... I mean, to be honest, that was the worst game anyways. Yeah, I actually... Stinking game. And even best game. Why do I actually think that it is actually England in Mexico? I just think that was the...

19:16Cal:No, it genuinely was one of the best games in the tournament. There was a couple comebacks for Argentina,

19:20Chip:which was a class, but like...

19:21Cal:Oh, fuck Argentina.

19:23Chip:Best goal? Okay, so we'll give two answers here. For me, it was the Dr. Congo Harry Kane winner where he just smacks it top past the keeper that was sick

19:38Cal:that was a great goal I think I remember which one the Bellingham goal

19:41Chip:as well

19:42Cal:in what which one Bellingham in

19:44Chip:he like goes past

19:46Cal:oh my god they sound bad my memory is man I was there for all games I can't remember everything yeah but we weren't actually there

19:50Chip:mentally yeah we were kind of there but not all there the best goal of the tournament though was Cape Verde against Argentina

20:00Cal:yes yeah absolute ripper and it almost did it again didn't he yeah a few moments later yeah that was an unreal goal

20:07Chip:I'll tell you another good goal is Bellingham versus France maybe that's the one I was thinking oh the one on one but that France game you can't count because that was a charity match

20:15Cal:yeah little soccer aid number yeah so we're not

20:19Chip:we're not counting that as a real game best stadium for me by far the Azteca

20:25Cal:yes like not even close

20:26Chip:yeah there's nothing coming close to that best player fought Jude Belliam I don't even care who else who else stood out like you want to know that might actually be a fair point was there a player that everyone went like holy shit you have made this yours for me and it it could just be the English bias again but Jude Bellingham for me like he cemented himself

20:49Cal:I feel like Messi was just still cooking and and he shouldn't be cooking like that at his age but

20:54Chip:yeah he just was I think people not expect it but like yeah that's the thing

21:00Cal:his standards are so high that that for him was like yeah you've done what you were kind of expected to do or what you were meant to do but reality 39 years old came second for the golden boot yeah to be fair didn't show up in the final

21:15Chip:I got two shouts no one in Argentina showed up in that final no I got two shouts for worst player Madueque yeah alright it was bad and Enzo Fernandez, the red card in a final. I'm happy to back Enzo

21:32Cal:just because that red card was pure. Let me tell you the worst player. Pure bliss.

21:37Chip:The little scumbag on the Argentinian team that like ran past and celebrated by all the England players when he knocked him out. He's a little ginger lad. He's just signed for Chelsea. That little rat might be the worst player. I'll back though. I can't believe Chelsea have signed. What's his name? You shouldn't have been able to sign him. What's his name?

21:58Cal:Barco.

21:59Chip:Barco.

21:59Cal:Where did they get him from? A German team. Yeah. Okay.

22:04Chip:Yeah. That blow, by the way, I actually like, surely no one's fucking with him in the prem. No one's messing with you, bro.

22:11Cal:Country that should have won.

22:13Chip:England.

22:14Cal:Fucking England. Fucking should have lost to Argentina, man. Yeah. We bottled it for 10 minutes. Fucking bottled it against such a bad team. I can't believe it.

22:21Chip:I can't believe we weren't in that final. I have to watch that final. Oh, man. We would have at least actually shot a target. No, we would have given him a game. We would have given him a game. Well, Argentina didn't even have an attempt. Until the 117th minute. Really? Yeah, where Messi had a shot, I think. Oh, they had a shot. In the 117th. Go on, lads. All right, final one. Best viral moment. You know, I love that the goalkeeper went viral. Love that. Love a keeper going viral. And he just followed loads of girls.

22:51Cal:Yeah. 20 mil followers. He'd be great to use your fame, buddy. He knew he had a mission and he knew what he was. He knew what he had to do in his life.

23:01Chip:You also had a Nigerian player went viral for looking Leng.

23:07Cal:Can't remember this. Nigerian sexy player. I think I can't remember, actually.

23:12Chip:He was hanging out with Cardi B now, bro. His life's different. Nigerian sexy player. Here we go. Leng guy. Fucking hell. He's like Jude Bellingham on test Jesus

23:24Cal:He is He is good looking

23:27Chip:Yeah So he went What?

23:31Cal:Chill out Nah I was doing the sound of a car starting Yeah any other viral moments What else do we have? The hurricane Losing his voice

23:39Chip:Oh that was good What a shout like That was great That was great

23:43Cal:That was a great moment

23:44Chip:Yeah I enjoyed that

23:45Cal:Cause I just You know that's just cause he fucking loves the game

23:48Chip:Yeah Passionate Super passionate watching um cool i think those are the pre oh what about i feel like we missed some obvious ones the comments will let us know no what about um number 10 cover his mouth red card that you know the audio that went viral oh yes that one went viral too um mate there was some good good tweet like there's a lot of tweets that went viral around the world cup as well yeah twitter was just unbelievable the whole endrick thing oh how did you forget about that that was brilliant if you're

24:20Cal:a Twitter user, you'll know about the Endric meme and you'll know about live translate feature that came out on Twitter that essentially allowed us to view all the tweets from people in Portugal, Brazil, Spain. Brazil Twitter is a triple platinum part of Twitter. Unbelievable. They're just so good.

24:39Chip:That's the best thing they've ever introduced is the live translate. So I feel like my whole world has been opened up, really. What about the Haaland catching himself in the reflection when he's eating and he scares himself. I keep seeing comments saying it's not real. No. Yeah, I think it's AI. No, it's not. Pretty sure it is.

24:59Cal:So I don't know for certain. Oh, that's such a good bit. We need, all I'm seeing is people responding to it saying this is fake, so I don't know for certain, but can we find out, is it AI? Oh, there you go, BBC. BBC did an article on it. Right there. Could be fooling his biggest fans. Erling Haar has been yeah it is this one look it shows it there however the video is not thought to be real

25:24Chip:considered though is it real or not man this is insane that this isn't real because it's so good that's heartbreaking that it's a deep fake it is really oh yeah original meme oh shit so they just replaced it with harland i did wonder what harland was doing in a restaurant like that oh it is good though so good

25:44Cal:shout out to whoever made it by the way Erling Haaland

25:47Chip:probably the player besides obviously that keeper that did 20 mil he came up out on top he has gathered like an entire the whole US even the taxi driver was asking us like what do you think to Erling Haaland yeah he's gone viral over there

25:59Cal:I'd love to have him on the pod Haaland Haaland's it mate he's got his own

26:03Chip:YouTube channel like that one we can we can make happen I feel like it would

26:07Cal:actually be a good vibe man seems funny as hell

26:10Chip:I've been a cuck and I watched, I was in the room when he did a pod with JJ and Logan. Yeah. I don't know if you ever saw that one. It was when he signed his prime deal and he was so sound. I met him then, really cool guy. How was he on that pod? Yeah, he's decent, proper, like laid back and chilled out though. He's not like a, not a go getter. Yeah, he's just catching a vibe.

26:33Cal:You'll have to come prepped with some questions. Well, that's just like, when I start putting it on him, what you're asking

26:40Chip:how are you going to respond

26:41Cal:how are you going to react under pressure when you got the great fucking late Chippo Crimes in your face going fucking favourite meal deal cup yeah fuck that kind of stuff and you've just got to respond like it's almost like a World Cup final I'm not going to lie like you've got to think I'm going to give you 10-15 seconds and I want drink snack and sandwich yeah we're not mucking about yeah like stuff like that like favourite restaurant go 10 9 see what I mean yeah like that pressure

27:09Chip:even on me right now I got anxious

27:10Cal:I don't know if he can when he's looking in the face of what certain people call danger

27:15Chip:full man press fuck exactly fucking shut up you little how about that the next thing you know Harlan's just been told to shut up on the pod what does he do then what is he gonna square up let's find out probably not oh he's on CRT I'll leave it exactly how much would you have to be paid I'm not even joking if we made a bet off cam said like let's ask Haaland something about his personal life and then the first thing you have to say is oh just shut up

27:45Cal:oh no I couldn't I'd not got it in me to say something like that man that's too rude that is so funny though

27:54Chip:you're the guy that told me a lot I think he'd be like what I'd be worried give me a rest bro no one's no quit the yapping bud

28:06Cal:oh you drop a little snooze on him he's deep into like genuinely talking about some trauma you're like oh fucking sorry mate you're still going on with yourself over there are you oh i don't know i'd have to be paid a lot to do something like that i would just do such big

28:22Chip:numbers yeah i'd love to have him on anyway and if you're watching which i imagine you are yeah

28:26Cal:just know that you are welcome here yeah and we've probably spoiled the bit now wait what's this about Clav's look maxing app. So this came out yesterday. Oh, so we're getting,

28:37Chip:so we just released an app, right? And it rates your face card. We've done this before, but I feel like looks maxing has come a long way. So we've got our results. Our results were always terrible. We always look so bad. Fucking hell, mate. That's not out of a hundred. Oh my God. It's out of a hundred. Oh my God. We have always said that we just,

28:59Cal:you know what it is?

29:01Chip:conventionally we're not conventionally attractive man bro conventionally unconventionally i'm not attractive this has cemented that how the fuck is it 37.6 percent every single category it says

29:14Cal:needs work to give you a little bit of credit what look at the picture they've used of you what are you fucking playing at lee like lee is he's baiting he's baiting it into give you've got better picks than that and i you know what you don't even look like that when you're dolled up

29:31Chip:Dolled up. The fuck is wrong with you? All right. Okay. Let's just go through this. So just so you know, my overall score was 37.6%. That essentially puts me at a four out of 10. Well, look, you're developing. That's what it says. Developing. But you're not. You're a 31-year-old bloke. Do you know what? I just realized this means I ain't reached my potential.

29:51Cal:Oh my God.

29:52Chip:Yeah. Good. Like, because this is what I'm saying. Like, developing. At 31, I've got to develop quickly. because yeah because it could develop the other way you know right so the mid face ratio needs work it says facial width to height ratio i mean that 100 percent needs work also when it says need

30:11Cal:what needs work man is can you fix some of this shit you know i mean like is this fixable how are you meant to just change some of these things you say needs work like you just go to

30:23Chip:You used one with a hat. I can't get the full picture. Yeah. Maybe that benefited me.

30:27Cal:Yeah.

30:28Chip:All right. So the chin to philtrum ratio needs work. Oh, hold on. We've got our first ideal. Canthal tilt. Nice. I know mine's fucked on that. What's a canthal tilt?

30:37Cal:I always get told I've got negative canthal tilt.

30:39Chip:I think that's the eyes.

30:41Cal:I think. So if your eyes dip down on the side like that, that'd be negative, I think.

30:46Chip:You don't have negative.

30:47Cal:Nah, I think I do. Like that. Have a look at that.

30:51Chip:So whether you have like straight eyes, tilted eyes like that type of thing. Yeah. All right Jaw to cheekbone width needs work. All right. Oh lip ratio ideal. Nice. You got nice lip I do have nice plump. I just I separation ratio. Nice my shits on point. Yeah ideal I to mouth angle needs work Okay Lower third height. I mean that's where all my face needs work The lower third of my face, that's where everything is. Needs work. Needs work. And then we've got about four other... There's only one more needs work. The Pelibral Fisher Length. Whatever the fuck that is. 25.6 millimeter, which is quite far off of the range.

31:35Chip:You got three weird things that just say measured. Yeah.

31:38Cal:All right. Well, you fucking... I'm not going to lie.

31:45Chip:I've been nice. They've used such a decent pick of me. Have they? You look like shit in that pick of me. All right. Okay, fair.

31:51Cal:But compared to like, you know, they try to do you dirty.

31:54Chip:That's a six, you're a six out of 10, 60%. Oh,

31:58Cal:I'll take it.

31:59Chip:So your mid face ratio is almost ideal. Yep. Chin to filter ratio, ideal, ideal. What do you need to work on here? Oh, your jaw to cheekbone width. Okay. That needs work shape. Can you go home and fix that?

32:12Cal:I don't know how to, how do I fix that lip ratio? I just got too much.

32:14Chip:I got too much of it. Oh yeah. It says, oh bro, you need to chill on them lips. Oh, I can't bro.

32:20Cal:I can't even fucking work on it. Oh, me and you have got the same palpable Fisher length, by the way.

32:25Chip:Come on, bro. You know what they say about that, right?

32:28Cal:Yeah, my camp full tilt, minus one, so it's near ideal, but it's not ideal.

32:33Chip:You're going to sort that out tonight, all right?

32:35Cal:I don't know how to, mate.

32:36Chip:Oh, you're going to sort that out tonight?

32:39Cal:Yeah. All right, we need to see what AB is going to be. Oh, no. That's a really good pick of him as well. That's his best pick.

32:48Chip:He always says, like, yo, if you ever use a pick of me, use this pick this can't be right guys he is a five out of ten i think four out of ten ab's five out of ten and you're six out of ten that can't be right well that's obviously wrong but that's

33:02Cal:what i mean about this shit this is obviously broken do yourself a fucking favor you're a fucking lane guy bro i think this looks bad for clad's app no bro i think you don't believe in just fucking slightly bollocks or maybe it's because the picture's off to an angle because It says he's got minus two negative campyltility. He doesn't know.

33:24Chip:Could roll the marble down him.

33:26Cal:Yeah, fair enough. All right, well, look, we won't go through everything, but apparently, according to this, AB needs a lot of work. He needs a lot of work.

33:33Chip:In fact, me and AB, we need to go and sort something out. Maybe they'll do a two-for-one deal at the local looks-maxing clinic. Get some bone smashing. Some bone smashing needs work. His lip ratio is just massively, he needs bigger lips. He needs to go get lip filler. Fuck. Yeah, but that's what I mean that we know the same truth.

33:51Cal:Everybody fancies him. So obviously like this is kind of out the window now. It doesn't actually matter.

33:57Chip:But this is face maxing.

33:58Cal:Yeah, but they all love his face. Oh, the girl. So like this is.

34:04Chip:But this is why beauty is subjective. And why sometimes. Stats don't do everything.

34:09Cal:Stats can't pay the picture all the time, man.

34:11Chip:So we're four, five and six out of ten. But once again, this reinforces. And we brought up on the pod before. we're playing this internet game on the hardest difficulty.

34:22Cal:What? Me and you? Because we're not great. Well,

34:25Chip:unfortunately it's all three of us now.

34:26Cal:Now AB's been roped.

34:28Chip:Unfortunately AB's had to be dragged into this conversation.

34:31Cal:Yeah. It's so much easier.

34:32Chip:On average, this podcast is a five out of 10. You've got six,

34:36Cal:five and four. So we're an average five out of 10. And we know that our viewers are the same. We've already said our viewers. And they've accepted that. They actually accepted it in the comments saying, yeah, really? Did they accept it? Good. Good. We're all mid, but we're all mid together. And that's kind of the beauty of it. A harmonious collective group of fucking delinquent mids.

34:57Chip:Damn, that kind of goes hard.

34:59Cal:I just kind of threw words together there, and hopefully that made me sound smart.

35:03Chip:Nah, it did.

35:04Cal:You know how I'd be. I'd be reading books, Caterpillar and shit.

35:07Chip:You're going off, bro.

35:09Cal:That's my shit. That's my shit. Charged my Kindle the other day.

35:13Chip:You took your Kindle to the US. You didn't read it once.

35:16Cal:I did read it.

35:16Chip:You didn't read it.

35:17Cal:Okay, fine. It was broke.

35:19Chip:No, it wasn't broke.

35:20Cal:Actually, I took my Kindle. I took it out, got it out in the airport, and it wouldn't download my books on the airport Wi-Fi. I was really upset. Anyway, I'm more of a video game kind of guy.

35:31Chip:No, I hear it. I hear it. So today I'll get home.

35:34Cal:Can we do a loaded giveaway of your Kindle?

35:36Chip:No, because I do use it. No, you don't use it. It's a performative thing for you to say, I have a Kindle. All you've ever done is spoken about it, never used it. I have used it. I've got quite a lot of books on there. No, that doesn't mean you've read them though, Chip.

35:48Cal:We can all download books. Oh, but I have read books on there. I read Shoe Dog on there. I've read the full book. And? A bit of Ernest Hemingway. A bit of? I've done about 60 % of the book, which is still good. So we're one and a half books in. I've definitely read more. There's more than that. And I've been reading a bit of Red Rising. I got a lot of good comments about that.

36:14Chip:Oh, by the way, I fired up my letterbox. again, the first time I've done it in ages.

36:20Cal:Did you say, I know you're not really part of this community because I'm on Letterboxd every day.

36:26Chip:Yeah.

36:27Cal:Every single day I load that show up. I just watched another Christopher Nolan movie, Insomnia, because I'm trying to make my way through his whole works. Yeah. I've nearly done. What did you rate that out of five? I gave that a three. That was one of his earlier movies. That might have been like his third movie. What about Memento? I've not watched it.

36:42Chip:That's got to be.

36:43Cal:Yeah. And by the way, I can't believe I've not watched it. I've tried to watch it twice with Sabina and she didn't like it. Sometimes you've got to lock her in a cupboard. So I'm going to have to watch it on my own.

36:50Chip:I've tried to watch it before. Yeah, AB started up his letterbox. Do you know what his username is? It's just Alfie Bottle. There we go. I followed him last night. There you go. Follow him up.

37:02Chip:Check his stuff out, dude. It looks all right.

37:08Cal:He's given some movies of high scores

37:10Chip:that don't deserve high scores. Give me an example of one.

37:15Cal:let's scroll through he gave Limitless a four and a half star it is a good movie but like that's very that's a huge rating to give that's what you give I think that's a big you give that to like movies that fucking blow your mind yeah like that's a blow your mind he gave Whiplash a four which I thought was too low yeah that's a 4.5 he even gave Truman Show a three which I think is too low yeah but it's not I wouldn't give it a four though damn I give Truman Show a four and a half bro

37:42Chip:Yeah, that's how I know you're just not.

37:45Cal:Well, just so you know, actually, Letterboxd's score is 4.2.

37:48Chip:So it's a four then.

37:50Cal:Which is pretty good.

37:53Chip:We had one of the coolest experiences ever, which was a private cinema that we booked to watch The Odyssey, which is, if you don't know, it's like the new hyped film that's out done by Christopher Nolan. You got Matt Damon in there, Tom Holland's in there, Zendaya, Anne Hathaway. it's a big fucking movie anyways oh even travis scott's like the first person you see on the movie that's he actually is yeah uh but let's talk we'll talk about the movie a little bit in a minute but the whole experience of the private cinema first of all we accidentally booked like the signature package so it came with like fine dining food you get in a table set up for you you can all sit there they bring out so much food i mean we didn't eat half of it um and you're just in this private cinema it's got about like 10 seats like a couple couches, some seats they bring you wine, whatever you want it is such a cool experience and something I would 100 % do again but I would just make sure I ordered the right food this time because when you go to the cinema I don't want prawn ceviche

39:04Cal:yeah it was really like fancy food it was just a bit of a weird vibe I want pizza hot dog burger yeah chicken strips chicken nuggets chicken gougs chicken palm you know what i mean chicken fingers but it was such a sick experience in the sense that i would do that every time i went to the cinema yeah it was cool it at the same time though i wouldn't do it every time because i like to sit in the cinema with other people do you see that's the bit that i

39:32Chip:hate it's a community in there it's not though you like that's why i always say taking somebody on a date, one of your first dates to a cinema, what are you up to? Why are you doing that?

39:42Cal:Yeah, first date at a cinema is rough unless you're massive movie fans. But, like going with friends I think about that. If you meet a girl

39:50Chip:and say like beforehand, oh yeah, hiya, oh this is gonna be good, like you're looking forward to the movie, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, do you want popcorn? I'll buy you popcorn.

39:57Cal:Yeah, I wouldn't personally do that. And then you go sit down and you're like, you couldn't do that at a private cinema either though. I chat to you in three hours. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. this is why

40:05Chip:you don't need anybody else in the cinema

40:06Cal:that's the point I'm making but I like being surrounded by others I don't get why it's just nice isn't it a bunch of people all come together to see a new piece of art in the cinema but what what does that do for you it's just nice bro it's a community feeling you know but there's no I like watching it on my dead silent

40:26Chip:sat down staring but we're all taking it in

40:29Cal:the vibe is there and I know that's what I'm saying

40:31Chip:is there a vibe nah

40:32Cal:because you can feel it you know when you're feeling some mad shit you watch something like wow this is incredible you know everyone's thinking the same shit and you just there's something going on in the air you can feel it it's it's you either got it or you don't it's just like a feeling and it's just it's amazing and it's really good if you're into you won't care about this but if you're into marvel movies and some nuts goes down and you're watching like a premiere or you're watching one of the early screenings and people go fucked for it big character shows up or something like the only time cool the only time i've ever

41:01Chip:had this community feeling is when I went to watch Fast and Furious.

41:11Cal:Here we go.

41:12Chip:And everyone cried at Paul Barker. No, no, it wasn't that bit. It might have been that movie, but it was the opening scene where I think The Rock tackles someone mid-air tackle. I think maybe there's a train or something. And I went to like a a rowdy cinema right and everybody just gets up and goes like this everyone stood up fuck off fuck off like that whole cinema was sold out yeah it was in Greenwich it was fucked damn and that was the only time I've gone like oh like that's quite cool

41:50Cal:yeah fuck you know Fashion Period 7 is like one of the best selling movies of all time is that the one with Paul Walker is that the end is that the one it's got to be right because I imagine obviously it's sad but that that would have made everyone go and see it is this the one no I don't think so oh yeah it is yeah it is

42:11Chip:because you can see wait if you just click the top right picture it's the Paul Walker scene in it

42:14Cal:oh yeah yeah damn to like one and a half billion

42:20Chip:he's AI in that you know

42:22Cal:well it's his brother innit and then they deepfake our AI him over oh shit rest in peace man rest in peace

42:31Chip:what did you think to Odyssey

42:32Cal:I loved it I know you didn't like it but I fucking was like it's not that I didn't like it

42:36Chip:you just didn't I thought it was alright

42:38Cal:yeah you thought it was alright

42:39Chip:it's not in his top 5

42:40Cal:see it was for me it was top 5 for me

42:43Chip:but it'll be like 5th

42:44Cal:4th

42:45Chip:and we're talking Christopher Nolan films here

42:47Cal:yeah remember it's not got that many that's what I'm saying that's why it's not even top 5 bro it's dark what would your top 5 be I'm assuming it's Incelia Inception Dark Knight Oppenheimer I know you didn't like Tenet No Maybe it's one of the other Batmans

43:07Chip:No wait Let me just get up The list of them now I'll be able to I've got to go to Northern Ranked Oh Prestige There you go Sorry I know you like Prestige Prestige yeah Prestige 100 % And by the way Just so people know I'm pretty sure Unless I got trolled online They are re-releasing it in IMAX

43:22Cal:Which I don't know How that works to be honest because that one wasn't shot in IMAX at all I don't think whereas like at least a lot of the other ones do have some IMAX runtime and then the Odyssey was his first well it's the first ever movie to be shot fully in IMAX apparently like it is just a genuine different experience watching it I can't wait to go but I went to buy tickets last night it's just not possible

43:46Chip:I will it's physically impossible I will go and re-watch it probably in IMAX as well I want to give it another go

43:53Cal:but it's going to be It's going to take fucking so long.

43:56Chip:You could do what Harry did.

43:57Cal:Yeah, I'm going to.

43:59Chip:I have to be people curious. Harry went and bought his ticket on eBay. Yeah. So they're reselling IMAX tickets. Should I ask him how much it costs?

44:09Cal:Yeah, because I looked last night on eBay for a BFI IMAX. Here, this is the one I've been looking at. It's one ticket for 24th of July. What's the date today? So it's one ticket for tomorrow, which is a Friday show in 4.30 in a really prime seat. Yeah. I don't know if you can see that. Well, that's a pretty prime seat. There's a screen. That's the middle. That's the seats. One seat. It's currently got a bid on it. Five hours left. It's going for 125. Fucking hell.

44:40Chip:That's wild.

44:41Cal:What am I doing tomorrow? I might do that.

44:44Chip:I might bid on that. Bid on it right now. I will bid on it. What was it? No, but you know what you need to do? You need to make sure you put your max bid. It won't instantly bid that. Yeah. So what would be your max bid on an IMAX ticket to Odyssey? Hmm. Come on. What would it be?

45:00Cal:What should it, what should, if it's already 125, realistically, this is probably going to go up to like 150, 200. Well, what are you willing to pay? What's it worth to you? I'd probably play max 200 just because I know how hard it is to get the ticket right now.

45:13Chip:Yeah. But realistically, if you're willing to pay max 200 and you find out it went for 220, would you not have paid the 220?

45:19Cal:Yeah. But that's just where it starts getting stupid. been in it.

45:22Chip:Is it? But okay, it goes to 220. Fine. I'd probably actually pay 300. Bro, put 300 as the max bid.

45:31Cal:But I need to figure out if I want to go on my own.

45:35Chip:Yeah,

45:35Cal:you do bro. 4.30 PM tomorrow. I mean,

45:39Chip:it's during work hours, but if you, if you start early, I'd be,

45:42Cal:I'd be, I'd be, you know what? It's different when you own the gaff. You got to make exceptions for yourself.

45:47Chip:All right. I can make, I can make one exception for you, but I expect you to work it back on the weekend.

45:51Cal:I work on the weekends anyway, bro. I'm on Slack. I do hear that. Bell me up on Saturday on Slack. See if I respond. Yeah, I might do that. Probably not. But you know, I'm at least threatening it.

46:01Chip:Yeah. Put your Max B300.

46:03Cal:I've added it to my watch list and I'll see if I can go. It's a Friday, bro.

46:09Chip:Bro, you've got nothing else going on.

46:11Cal:I do have stuff going on. Halo comes out today and I want to play it.

46:14Chip:Does that actually?

46:15Cal:Yeah. They remade the first one. First time it comes out on PlayStation as well. Bit weird, that.

46:21Chip:Who fucking cares?

46:22Cal:Yeah, I care. Also, I got another one here, actually. BFI IMAX. One bid. Six days left. 30 quid.

46:28Chip:Six days left. What are we playing?

46:30Cal:That's because it's for Friday the 14th of August. I'm good. That's years away, bro. I'm sweet.

46:34Chip:Bro, I think you got to go tomorrow.

46:36Cal:16th of August, 52 quid. Yeah, it could be on the cards, to be fair. But how do I know I'm not getting scammed? I paid for that. You don't. That's the beauty of the game, bro. I feel like this is really out of touch thing to be buying. But when you love it like I do.

46:50Chip:Harry did it. And he said he had that. Well, he didn't say anything, but I remember he was saying, I'm praying I'm about to find out if I got scammed or not.

46:58Cal:I'm asking him how much. Right. No, no. I've just got the answer. I've got the answer. I've got the answer. He just texted me. Oh, go on.

47:03Chip:How much did he pay? He paid 200 quid. For one ticket or two tickets. He would have not. Per ticket.

47:12Cal:Per ticket.

47:12Chip:Yeah. So, yeah. So, I'm right. It's probably going to. This is a good seat on a Friday. I'm thinking, bro, you're going to have to stump up 300. Words got around. that this movie's going off.

47:23Cal:Yeah, he's locked and loaded. I'm texting.

47:25Chip:What's this thing here about the AI TikToks taking over? We kind of already know that, though. Don't think that's anything new. Is it a certain style of video? It's like storytelling with these weird things. I'll be honest with you, right? So I watch these type of AI videos, but I watch the educational ones that tell me about certain scientific shit and how you get cancer and stuff. That's interesting, whereas this is just brain rot. What the hell have you got on right now? Is this a guy's a monster can? Bro, this is fucked.

47:56Cal:If you put headphones on, you can hear it. I don't know if I'm on. I'm going to let the viewers just... I can't be watching this kind of stuff, but I've been trying to detox my brain a little bit now we've got back from New York. But what's on your FYPs right now? Right now on my FYP. Yeah, let's do 10 scrolls and see what kind of content you get.

48:15Chip:Decorated our terrace. All right. Oh, AB's one of the live photo of Luminum Marlin. And in the background, they're having a scrap. Did it bang? 500k likes. What? Let me see the views on it. Let me have a look. 2.2Ms for the little kid.

48:30Cal:What did he caption it?

48:32Chip:Only just clocked this. Welcome, wholesome live photo.

48:35Cal:All right. First thing.

48:37Chip:Oh my God. And then Max Goddard has posted, I was hungry fellas clip.

48:41Cal:Shit. All right. My first thing is Young Philly's trial.

48:44Chip:Wait, one second. I hope a girl comes up and says, Max Qatar, try and message me, try and move to me. Well, I did. I was hungry at the time. That's a good question. I was hungry at the time.

48:54Cal:That's such a good... You flew to China to see the Red Dead Redemption bar? Oh, I might do that for a video.

49:00Chip:Fuck, the size of my shoes are mad. Nice new shoes.

49:04Cal:Nice new shoes. They are actually nice, bro. Thank you. Sock on D. You know what I'm going to do? Insane name to have. I'm going to just go and buy them. Like, I am going to buy the exact same colorway, same shoe. Just like... You're not. Nah, because you've done it to me before. I've never done it.

49:16Chip:The only time was accidentally with some hokers. That was it.

49:19Cal:I'm doing it. Getting my get back. No, bro. Stick to the fucking Gentleman 3000s. What the fuck? God forbid I wear the Charlie Chaplin 9s. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Well, we've got a board meeting today, so I had to rock up with some nice stuff.

49:33Chip:You know what I like about you is that you just failed to zoom in on the actual product.

49:36Cal:Oh, you missed the Charlie Chaplin 9.

49:39Chip:Sometimes you've got to dial in. Oh, come on, Dan.

49:42Cal:Missing the Charlie Chaps. Fucking hell. Well, anyway, look, let's talk about somebody who's fucking blowing up in the world. Bro, this is how I know the game's gone.

49:52Chip:George Clark, Dr. George Clark to you. That game's gone. What the fuck?

49:58Cal:Well, what's he been given? He's received an honorary doctorate of arts for his contribution to entertainment, digital media, and the creative arts at Bath Spa University.

50:07Chip:What?

50:08Cal:Congrats, George. But where the fuck is my mic giving me mine?

50:11Chip:Genuinely, I'm happy for you, but why is it not Dr. Freezy? I've been doing this shit 15 fucking years. You didn't even go to uni, mate. This is coming from a place of jealousy, by the way.

50:20Cal:He went to uni and completed it. And also, think of his contribution. He did strictly, right? What? Yeah, he's on the up. What? Oh, category one, gotta be Lang. Telling you, George just keeps winning. He's had an incredible run. And he keeps getting better. Now he's getting a doctorate.

50:41Chip:so wait did he genuinely get that like it's his name dr george car it can't be it is to me it is to me i'm gonna build him up right now first of all this guy's a hundred percent air in it second of all because you're a doctor now that's what so he don't yeah well bro he might be in the middle of surgery he might he might operate yeah he might be with a patient

51:07Cal:there's no way there's no way asking me if he's with a patient if he answers like I'm not interrupting anything why have I got a knot on my pants hello oh hey mate

51:17Chip:I'm not interrupting a surgery or anything am I no sir no okay I've got a little question I've got a question so are you I'm on the pod by the way are you are you actually a Dr. George Clark

51:34Cal:yes I prefer Dr. Clark but yeah.

51:37Chip:So wait, on formal documents, you can put Dr. Clark?

51:43Cal:I don't think legally, but I will be doing that.

51:46Chip:Fuck bro, that's so sick. Oh, that's so sexy. How can I get one bro? I want this shit bad. That's sick.

51:53Cal:Honestly, I don't know. I think you need to be mediocre at dancing and then you get like an easy in.

51:58Chip:Oh my God. That's actually, I'm not going to lie bro. I've been hating for the last two minutes. Rumored to be uncelebrated. I can't believe it. I want to be a doctor. Get the rumors out of him Dr. Freezer mate You can get like Some sort of Phone doctor

52:09Cal:That's what I'm thinking Like I feel like I've done my time bro Oh man Dr. Bird

52:15Chip:It is what it is Alright cool I just need a confirmation So legit When you're writing Shit down on papers It's Dr. Clark right

52:23Cal:Unfortunately I think it's I can't use it Like that

52:27Chip:That's my actual Sort of yeah It's a real shame Otherwise because I do think there's people

52:31Cal:That actually get one That's like a All the A-list celebs Get one

52:34Chip:oh okay oh so they would be livid won't they like oh i went i did med school oh fucking hell all right okay all right cool anyway thanks for that bro i appreciate it you've you've helped clear it up thank you judge have a good day bye-bye so you don't actually get to whack down doctor bit of a vibe killer you do mate you do you do what you want that's what you got free will i genuinely hear that though i like he said i would just do that until someone legally tapped me on the shoulder and said, yo, you're a fraud.

53:06Cal:You just got to do what you fucking fancy. Also, George is rumored to be on Celebrity Gladiators. First, I'm hearing of it. I'm not going to lie. If you told me, I'd be leaking it right now. I'd just leak it. You should have asked him. Nah, because he can come on the pod and address this. I'm going to find out. And if he is, I'm going to leak it. I'm going to message a Daily Star.

53:28Chip:Celebrity Gladiators. Why aren't they picking this? That would be...

53:32Cal:Look at that shit. You were going gym in New York as well.

53:36Chip:Sorry, it's just...

53:37Cal:Nah, it's still looking big though. It's still like, there's circumference on that. There is. It's got long arms.

53:43Chip:It needs to be... It's harder for you. That's what I've been saying.

53:47Cal:Yeah, George would be sick on Celebrity Gladiators. You know what?

53:51Chip:Annoyingly, George has the same thing Joe Sugg has. What? Is he's just going to be good at everything.

53:58Cal:Good at everything? Yeah, he is good at everything. I thought you were going to say...

54:02Chip:except maybe bench pressing pretty much everything else. George, yeah.

54:06Cal:George has always been good at everything.

54:07Chip:The worrying thing is George is good at bench pressing as well. Yeah.

54:11Cal:He'll be sick at that.

54:12Chip:You know what? There should be a series. You know how, what, find something that George is shit at and that he can't get better. I'd love to watch that. What do we think? That would be a great hate watch. Maybe it's like learning a language. He would be okay at that. Actually, I know he'd be. No, because he's quite smart.

54:30Cal:What would he suck at? What would George actually be terrible at? Hmm. Wonder if he's good at like... He's got to have a small dick.

54:42Chip:I think that's the way that God has to level him out.

54:46Cal:I think he's got a hammer, mate. Bro. He's got a hammer.

54:50Chip:God, okay, fine, fine.

54:52Cal:No, he brushed past me once in a confined space and I swear I felt a hammer. You know when it makes you go... and I was like oh fair enough fair enough George what does he

55:09Chip:what's what's up with bro maybe he's got tiny he's got a hairy ass that's not really much of a nerf

55:20Cal:don't say it's a nerf because I've got a hairy bum yeah okay fine

55:24Chip:it's not enough of a nerf what nerf does he have that we don't know about okay Okay, maybe he's secretly got like crippling anxiety. Well, I hope he doesn't. No, but like maybe that might be his nerf. He just not open about it.

55:40Cal:That could be it. He might have something we don't know about. Oh, maybe he's just him. Maybe he's just him. Maybe we just have to accept that he's him.

55:48Chip:He's going to be, bro, I will find his nerf.

55:51Cal:And when I do, I'm going to let everybody know about his nerf. Does George have a car? Oh, bro, I don't think not having a car is a nerf. If you wanted a car. I just saw your car key on the floor and it just made me think. Can he drive? Can he drive? Does he have a driver's license? I think he can drive.

56:07Chip:You can't walk around with that much confidence. Oh no, he can't drive because he was driving in Sri Lanka. I feel like as a human, you can only be so confident until you have a driving license. Do you know what I mean? It is a bit crazy. You're in about 27 year olds without a driving license. And unfortunately, I just, you're not as cool as you think.

56:26Cal:When I hear about people that have driver's license really late into life, I get a bit confused. I know it can be expensive so that's maybe one thing but like at some point you kind of just got to lock in and dedicate some portion of your money to just getting out of the way

56:38Chip:this is like a level one skill

56:40Cal:yeah but if you keep failing then it costs loads doesn't it and it takes ages to get the actual test that's why I'm saying that's why when you're 27 are you here because you this is like getting your first Pokemon badge you know going to your first Pokemon gym you kind of like as soon as you're 17, 18 is it 17 you can start? As soon as you hit that age You gotta be locking in And just be like Right let's go I mean I was a bit of a late bloomer

57:04Chip:I think I was 20

57:06Cal:Yeah I didn't do mine Till like 21, 20

57:08Chip:Till I lived in London

57:09Cal:I was the same boat I just didn't do mine Till a bit later And then I was like Fuck it I need to do this now

57:14Chip:Need to lock in like crazy

57:16Cal:Need to lock in and do it And then I did it Now here we are Driving I'm driving Fucking driving Yo I've been watching I really wanna go camping But Chip I know that you listen hear me out hear me out I watch a lot of camping videos at the moment I watch them to fall asleep like I've got about 20-25 videos downloaded you've seen me watching them on the plane I love watching them I just like the ASMR of them just out in the in the cold with the dog camping making your food on the little stove thing but I want to do it where it's like a mixture of shit bushcraft and glamping so it's like you've got a nice bit of tech with you that takes it a little bit past normal camping but you're not fucking pushing the boundaries

58:00Chip:to the point where you're living inside.

58:01Cal:Like, or maybe I rent a Jeep that has the camping thing attached to the side. I'd love to do something like that. Just chill out for a bit. What?

58:09Chip:See them videos? Yeah. They glamorize something that is just dog shit.

58:13Cal:It's true. I do understand that it will be crap. I've been camping before and I don't like it that much. However, I've always done it on like a budget, like quite a budget and obviously it can be a bit of a, you know,

58:26Chip:rough experience. You're the biggest dog shit meal of all time Because you've had to light a fire And put a fucking bingy over it Like we're in the caveman times That's what I mean this time I'm going to do it a little bit

58:37Cal:You'll get that I'll take a little bit of premium equipment with me You're a man of convenience

58:41Chip:That's what I mean

58:42Cal:I'll be taking a generator with me bro

58:43Chip:No but this is what I'm saying I just don't think It's just a lot of fucking hassle

58:48Cal:It is

58:48Chip:For minimal payoff Whereas why not just keep watching your ASMR Treat it as

58:53Cal:I just want to put myself through it for a weekend Like I just want to enjoy it I know it's hassle

58:57Chip:that'll ruin your ASMR because you'll be watching them like me because I've had the same thing and I've done it and then I watch the ASMR because I go whole thing shit

59:05Cal:and you're just showing me like it is long I know it but I'm just into that cabin kind of thing like I love going to little cabins with Sabina and having the shit stuff that we've got to work with and just making food on that given I'm not the one doing the food but you know you're talking about

59:20Chip:a small Airbnb that's everything sorted you've got a bed nah but we stayed in like a big

59:25Cal:We stayed in like a tent thing before. We had to do it.

59:28Chip:Sabina in her fucking eyes where you're taking a shit 10 meters from the campsite and you're asking her to bring some leaves over.

59:34Cal:Nah, I don't want to do it. That's what I mean. I don't want to do it to that level. I want a little mixture. I want to take some premium equipment with me. What, a toilet? Nah. Toilet, fuck it, whatever. I'll take some toilet roll with me and I will shit in the woods, whatever.

59:50Chip:Yeah, I need to see that. That's fine. I think it's like... I want you to do it three days.

59:54Cal:For three days and film it. I think shitting somewhere a bit rough is not bad if you've got toilet roll. Like, I'm not the kind of guy that can't... I'll take a shit in the club, bro.

1:00:05Chip:Are you a club shitter? Yeah.

1:00:07Cal:I can easily do it. As long as I've got toilet roll and I can make a little seat protector, then I'm sweet. Yeah. I'm so sweet. And as long as there's a lock in the door, you can smash that door down all you want. I'm good. I'm shitting. I'm shitting here, mate. For me, I will...

1:00:23Chip:Because I think it's natural. You have to go. you gotta go no but it's like a last resort for me like I have to be like it's gonna be explosive diarrhea for me to go in

1:00:32Cal:I mean yeah if I just need one and I'm like I could probably hold on to the home I'll hold on but if I'm like oh it's getting uncomfortable now and you're doing the lean you're in the club doing the lean and you're like looking at the floor and concentrating on like you know channeling your energy to your intestines trying to like open them up a little bit so that it won't be under so much pressure so it doesn't hurt as much and then you start rubbing your belly in a clockwise motion yeah if he gets to that point i'm going for i'm going for a turd you can tell me just on six weeks

1:01:08Cal:but yeah no i want to do that yeah probably right i will go and do it and then not enjoy it but i'm

1:01:13Chip:gonna go do that i want you to do it because i just think you should do a little video around

1:01:17Cal:it or sabina should yeah a little tiktok or something and i know like i've even got to the point right where I've seen right this guy that goes and does it and this it's not even camping at this point if I'm completely honest he'll lay out his tent it comes with a machine press one button then his full tent just blows up it's like a mini house with two rooms in it but it's got the rain you do have to like pin it down and stuff but it's got the rain hitting the roof and it sounds lovely and then you just deflate it fold it up you know see stuff like that you're

1:01:45Chip:there like it's sound I've always found the actual like the setup and stuff I get enjoyment out of that it's the packing down where i want to kill yeah i think yeah i think there's going to be like

1:01:55Cal:a moment of like genuinely like oh i'm glad i've done this or like i'm proud of myself for doing it even if you are using a blow-up one because then he'll get out his little blow-up sofa yeah then he'll put a little rug down and then he gets his stove out builds his stove but then like oh what's it called where it's like they've got um hot is it hot stove camping or something hot something camping where they'll essentially have the little wood burning stove and then they build this metal pipe that goes out the top of the tent bro you're just putting a home yeah I know but it looks so cozy man I just want to see for myself if it's cozy or not do it then so I'm gonna give that a go at some point it's just I don't have anywhere to store all this stuff in my flat no I've gotta buy it it's all supposed

1:02:38Chip:to pack down though

1:02:39Cal:yeah we'll give it a go but I just if I don't enjoy it and then I've just got loads of fucking premium camping shit I just don't need. I want, I want, I want you to do it because I just think, I just think it will be funny.

1:02:53Chip:It'll be funny. It'll be, there'll be good stories coming out of it and who knows, maybe genuinely. They're like,

1:02:59Cal:I love it.

1:03:00Chip:You could, you genuinely could. It goes one of two ways. Either you come back and you're truthful about it and you go, I'll be honest. This was actually the biggest dog shit thing ever.

1:03:09Cal:If it's wank, I'll come back because I'll be selling this. How many nights would you do? Two nights I think, but if it's wank, I'll come back the next morning.

1:03:16Chip:because the thing is you light your sleep you want a comfy bed

1:03:20Cal:but imagine this rain hitting the roof yeah this is the thing it like soaks the whole gaff nah not with this inflatable thing I'll be buying and again I'll be honest this isn't really camping this is a level above but fuck it I'm in the position to do it so I'm gonna do it but imagine this rain hitting the roof here nice trickle I got some nice fairy lights on the inside I've hooked up my Xbox and I brought mini TV

1:03:45Chip:Bro, you're, bro. Hit me out. No, no, Chip, Chip, Chip. I've got this premium generator with UK football. Chip, Chip, Chip. Yeah. You're not hooking up a fucking Xbox. It's just home, but like a different home.

1:03:56Cal:Bro. That's so stupid. I'm playing on my Steam Deck. Come on, it's poor, bro. You gotta laugh.

1:04:03Chip:I'll let the Steam Deck slide, but bro, if you rocked up. Steam Deck, no, I'll do it on my Steam Deck. Yeah. All right. I'm going to let that slide, bro. You know what I mean? Just on my Steam Deck. That's fucking hilarious.

1:04:13Cal:Steam Deck. That will be brilliant. That's like, it's just like playing a Nintendo DS. You would always take that camping. When you, fuck, I'm really excited. I'm going to do this in a few years. What?

1:04:24Chip:Well, bro, we need the, we've got a busy end of the year. Maybe I'll do,

1:04:28Cal:maybe I'll go with you to film it for loaded. No, maybe I'll do a winter one though. I might film it myself just in some weird way for you guys. I'll maybe, maybe I'll make a tip talk. Did you ever make your engagement video? I've still got, I never edited it.

1:04:41Chip:No. Yeah. I was going to say, I know you got the footage from that.

1:04:44Cal:yeah I should really get around to doing that at some point thing is I feel like I need to do it myself but it's just so much footage and I got fucked over a little bit because like my lens was being used by somebody and I came to collect it on the day of me leaving

1:04:58Chip:and then I had to use like completely wrong lens

1:05:01Cal:the footage is like really fucked it's just like not the right it was annoying but it is what it is

1:05:07Chip:by the way we've got a game here it's a classic game called categories but in this game what we're going to do is for every single one that we get, we're adding a hundred quid to the loaded giveaway for the month. Which, by the way, depending on this category, this could run up a fucking bag. It's only if you're correct. Yeah? Yeah. Have you sent me the category? Yes. You both have one. Wait, so I've got a category here. So don't tell anyone your category. You have to guess a word for the other person's category. Wait, sorry, explain this. Sorry. so let's say the category is like types of trees yeah and you say oak yeah then he says you're correct and then you until you can guess the category okay i saw a basement yard doing it okay oh i think i've seen this yeah so it's not okay oh i love this game i've seen the basement yard play this do you get it not really so you're gonna keep saying things and i'm gonna tell you whether it fits my category.

1:06:13Chip:And you'll be like, so I'll say to you, shoo. And you might go, no. And I'm trying to work out

1:06:22Cal:what words are fitting your category. Okay? Okay. And then you've got to guess category. And then I've got to guess what the,

1:06:29Chip:what the, almost the rule is. All right. Okay. Yeah. Cool. So you, I'll go first for you. Yeah. Ronaldo. No. Okay. Say any word, mate.

1:06:41Cal:Oh, I thought you were going still. We're going back. Take it in turns. Take it in turns, yeah. All right. Beach. No.

1:06:48Chip:Okay.

1:06:50Cal:Hair. No.

1:06:57Cal:Trombone. No.

1:07:02Cal:Liam.

1:07:03Chip:No. Stanley. No. USA. Yes.

1:07:14Chip:I'm on to you, bro. All right. Peas. No. Umbrella. No. All right.

1:07:27Chip:World. No. United Kingdom. No. What? All right.

1:07:36Cal:What have I said?

1:07:38Chip:burger no France no alright oh shit

1:07:51Chip:Mozambique no why are you just naming places bro no I'm on to you no okay I will go with fuck what could your thing be okay why don't I go like um Matt Damon no Inception no USA was a thing okay what about UK no

1:08:25Cal:wait hold on

1:08:26Chip:there was a hessie on that one

1:08:28Cal:what about for me what damn man Halo

1:08:36Chip:no um okay so there was a hezi on mine seems really hard man yours is hard um I mean initially I thought it might be like abbreviations but then when I said UK you said that wasn't a thing then I thought it might have been places that we've traveled to together that's why I said France then it might be USA it would be like places come on bro I'll go with

1:09:20Chip:Australia no island no stop why are we playing because I thought that might be fellas road trips bro that's whack from you really poor How? It could have been that You're just miles off You ain't even got one bro

1:09:35Cal:I know I am miles off it How? USA

1:09:41Chip:Could it be Oh Is it England? No I gotta stop with the nations I think I think I'm going down the wrong route here

1:09:53Cal:Can I say like a name? A full name?

1:09:56Chip:Yeah sure do it and say whatever you are bro

1:09:58Cal:What about Vin Diesel?

1:10:02Chip:Thought I could be an actor so the USA is something what have I done?

1:10:09Cal:I've done musical engineering

1:10:12Chip:FUT FUT FIFA Ultimate Team FUT

1:10:19Cal:yes oh okay

1:10:25Chip:what about I'm sniffing bro what about fire nah nah go on is my category yeah or your category yeah is it three letter abbreviations

1:10:40Cal:yep yep well done well done get in okay now you just tell me what mine was I've lost right nah one more guess and then yeah I'm not gonna get mine

1:10:50Chip:fuck it camera

1:10:55Chip:yes no way

1:10:56Cal:on the last one really

1:11:00Chip:you can you can yeah

1:11:13what about like

1:11:15Cal:fellas nah you're alright I was thinking podcast

1:11:17Chip:alright what was mine things you can wear

1:11:20Cal:ah wear a camera bro

1:11:23Chip:yeah yeah yeah you put a GoPro on you yeah I guess you're right yeah So that's 300 pounds Giving away 300 quid How about this I was gonna say If you were to get it I'd have doubled it Fuck it We'll give 300 It won't be for the month It's too low We'll just give that away For this app

1:11:39Cal:Okay

1:11:39Chip:So go ahead Go ahead Onto the fellas loaded thing Sign up fellas loaded And then click the giveaway thing You can just go in yourself Like 300

1:11:47Cal:Hell yeah

1:11:48Chip:It's a shame Chip was so shit At the game I was fucking crap at that Damn That three letter abbreviation I was like That's a bit easy Is it? Yeah

1:11:56Cal:as soon as you say usa bro rap nah yeah there's not much it could be after that there's a rule in it and you're like oh yeah like places it could be then whereas things you gotta wear like

1:12:08Chip:fuck and when was i ever gonna mention like it was anything like shoes train bro you could jacket fuck it there's loads of things i just thought it was too boring yeah well you're well a hold guys thank you very much for watching appreciate you all very much um next episode I think AB will be in it. If not, we'll have a fantastic guest awaiting. Thank you very much for all the love on the World Cup stuff. We had some insane amount of views on it. Liam put together a total. We're talking millions and millions and millions. Tens of millions. Anyways, guys, one love. We'll see you guys in a bit.

1:12:39Cal:Bye-bye. Bye.