301. Joe Fazer On Surviving In The Amazon, South Sudan Kidnapping & Fleeing The Taliban In Afghanistan?!

9:22Chip:Yeah, I mean, in Bali, that's pretty popular as well. People getting drunk on the mopeds. And then what, driving? I had a bad accident on it. I was driving away. My mate was on the back. And because the problem is, no, I wasn't. But you go to do this. Like, if you pull on this and it goes. But then you go to grab the brake on the same one. You end up pulling it more. So you just go even faster. I did that. and in Bali they have these hanging power lines. The power line went in between my mouth and I was there like, I'm pretty sure I just should be fried to a crisp. Yeah. So I don't know how that happened, but that was the sketchiest like life or death moment.

10:01Chip:I've probably had like these things. Yeah. And there was sagging loads and I just drove it into one of the power lines and it went in between my mouth.

10:06Cal:The power line was that low.

10:08Chip:Yeah.

10:08Cal:Yeah. That cable management winds me up, man.

10:11Chip:Cable management. Get corn out there. I wish I went Southeast Asia when I was a bit younger you can still go now bro you're 23 proper experience like you can still do it I'd say that Weller's still bopping about you can still do it I could yeah I'm not gonna though am I you never know just the slightest bit of it give me just one mozzie and you're like fuck this place bro I'm bitten all over I've not been sleeping again bare mosquitoes in my gas mosquitoes in my London flat in the UK yeah I don't know what's going on in there there's a mob spawner somewhere I just can't find it mosquitoes are the most jarring creature on the planet.

10:45They serve no good thing to the environment. No, and it's like the highest pitch buzz in my ear. It's like a rage bit thing. Every time my eyes close, it's fucked. Mate, fuck that. I mean, it's not really compared to the Amazon, does it? Well, that's, it's giving me trauma from the Amazon. Nah, wait. I could have fallen it was worse. Bro, I barely slept in my fucking London apartment. Penthouse apartment.

11:05Chip:Wait, no, I need to ask about this Amazon one. I put in the group chat last night and I told the boys, if you haven't watched it, you need to go and watch it. Because I thought about doing like a fellas special where we go and we live in the Amazon, right? I watched your video and I kind of was just saying like, oh, fuck this right off. It's so much worse, right? You, bro, give it a rest. It would, if you guys did that video, that would go, like, that would do insane. You know that for a fact. Talk to me about like the trip though, from start to finish. I'd last longer than you. No, you wouldn't.

11:33100%.

11:34Cal:No, you fucking wouldn't. Bro, you're not built for this shit. No, he wouldn't last longer than me. I have like Neanderthal shit in me, bro. No, he's not lasting longer. he's definitely leaving the first second we get there. Bro, I like sticks and climbing. I love the woods. Nah, but you can't commit. I can commit. You can't commit. Oh, we're going. Fuck, let's go Congo. Why don't you hear first? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

11:55Chip:Like, explain to these boys what they're in for if they were to do this 1v1 in the Amazon. What they're in for. 1v1 war. All right, well, we annoyingly went during... The season you go is incredibly important. We went during rainy season, which is when the mosquitoes are 10 times worse. So you literally walk for a minute and you're being bitten everywhere. The mosquitoes are the worst part of the Amazon. Like, obviously there's jaguars, there's snakes, there's scorpions, there's spiders. There's fucking... But the mosquitoes are... But if I could have clicked my fingers, it would have been getting mosquitoes, like 100%.

12:28They made the whole thing horrible. But went to Guyana, did a week of training. Because if you don't do training, you're fucked, basically. Like, how to build shelter, how to build fire because i can i can build a fire so like i can do a friction fire right very difficult to do in the amazon it's virtually impossible because it's so humid it rains all the time the woods all wet it is virtually impossible to make a fire without a fire starter so i gave myself the luxury of that in this one because i've done other survival videos where it's like a friction fire um so learn all of this stuff and then basically got the local guy he drove me like four hours into the the thing dropped me off and quickly with the

13:13Chip:local guy because when i was watching that video it kind of just seems like you were there like oh i just found this bloke and i was just like oh could you just do this and pick me up was there more thought yes behind it like that because it sounds like you just picked up a guy that had a boat and you were like please just pick because in my head i was like my biggest fear here was the guy wouldn't be there on time to pick me up yeah yeah so you i have a like a like a satellite phone just in case anything goes wrong. So I showed in the video, I had the camera equipment in there as a satellite phone.

13:42If worst came to absolute worst, I'd be able to get in contact with someone. But yeah, he dropped me off and then basically said, I'm going to come to this same point in the first few hours of, I can't remember what day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But basically 72 hours later. Okay, yeah. So yeah, it was - Fully by yourself. Fully by myself. Not even a cameraman. Not even a camera. the thing with the cameraman is it kind of i feel like when someone watches it and there's a camera guy they then start thinking there's like snacks all of that so it makes it so much harder i'm

14:17Chip:rocking up with 10 camera guys by the way but the thing is like filming it all then that makes it like surviving in the amazon as hard as it is but then wanting to film it all and get good shots of it makes it even more difficult because like having to like even just walking after two days of not eating your energy's so low wanting to get good shots is is just even harder yeah like you don't a lot of the time you're literally just laying down doing nothing because you're so like fucked basically which obviously you don't you can't really show on on the video you think about what did we do before scrolling and stuff actually had to exist no facts like when we were like we used

14:55Cal:to live that bro yeah we were we were around before scrolling nah come on bro you're just banging SBCs

15:02Chip:they're the old school scroll the vintage scroll in the video so in the training I imagine you learnt how to like create the fishing rod and like the bait and stuff like that what because there's literally like a good section of it where you are just sat in one spot for so long fishing with the most knackered set up of all time I would say like that's not going to catch a fish let's be honest is that piranhas and shit in there is that what you're looking for yeah piranhas are like one of the tastiest fish you can you can catch um i saw a thing saying like there's this guy who lives in the amazon called like paul rosaline or something yeah i love that yeah and he was saying there's no bait in the amazon so like you have to cut the callus off your heel like cut that skin off and like because it's just impossible to find bait so you have to just cut your skin off there is bait that you can get it's like these like grubs that are inside like these like nut things is what I use basically.

16:00You caught something? I caught a piranha. Oh, sick. Yeah, I caught and ate a piranha and it tasted bloody amazing. But that was your only scran, wasn't it? Well, I ate some of those grubs, which were like little worms, and I ate heart of palm, which is like a cart. Well, you guys said that you're going to go against each other.

16:18Cal:See, I can eat the piranha, you won't eat that. I'll eat piranha. No, you fucking won't, lad. White fish, easy. Yeah bro It tastes No chance It tastes What if I had a thing about fish I could eat bro You just don't eat anything This was it Look at that thing I don't know if you have a day bro But I eat that bro That's what Yeah that's where I get it So that like That like Put that under my lip That's a lie A little A worm pillow Tasted fine Tasted just like butter To be fair It was alright Your hands have been through Then there's something called Heart of Palm Which is like The inside of a specific tree Which is like a carb stick Basically basically tastes awful but it's carbs how do you not like it's not wood no it's not good are you not worried about potentially making a mistake on what you're eating and being like i could eat something poisonous here yes i would never take the risk of um not eating something i haven't trained and learned about okay when i caught the piranha i cooked it fucking way longer than i probably should have it fucking um oh you got in the water well i got in the water and i I then got told like...

17:21Those parasites. Yes. I got told... I don't know if that's true or not. I don't know if those things... Are you talking about when you pee and then it kind of goes up? Goes up your stream. Well, the guy in there said that they are real, but then I looked online and it said that that's like a myth. Or it just happened once and they're like, they only go for the cock. So would you eat that? Yeah, yeah. It's fine, right? And then when you cook it all up, it's like white meat. It's banging. Yeah, that doesn't scare me.

17:47Cal:Surely your calories per day is rough out. I lost so much weight out there. How much, how much weight do you reckon you lost? Five kilos. Fuck me. In what, three days? I came back like in the seventies, 70 kilos. Fuck me. Yeah.

18:02Chip:So like, say you go and swim in here. What were you saying? That somebody said there was something in here that you were worried about? Are you talking about the parasites? so yeah, apparently there's like parasites in there that kind of, if you put your head under, which you'll see in about 10 seconds, apparently there's parasites that can go through your nostrils and in your ears. eat into your brain. So I found this out a few days after going in and I was shitting it. That quick tip. Oh, you've gone back for a few seconds. Stressing me out watching you do this. But there's like caiman alligators and things like that.

18:35Chip:Like that would be my bigger fear here was actually just the predators that would fuck your day up. Yeah. No, in murky water like that, mate, they'll just pop up. You can't see them. Like, yeah. But you can get on the back of a caiman. much to do that. Mate, you're thinking of just like them zoo ones. These are fucking Amazon never seen before record-breaking ones. You could have found some new shit actually. Well, the closest eco-lodge, which is like the closest place to stay just before we went and got the boat trip into the Amazon was like this, like, you can imagine some very basic, like, place just next to the forest.

19:10Nothing really there, but the guy who worked there, his arm was missing because he had a Cayman basically shot his arm off. So that wasn't like the funniest what did he bench though what did he bench yeah i feel like you you'd have given it a better fight than he i asked him if he trains and he says he's going to get back into training so big up to him if he's watching yeah um but yeah no the the actual creatures it's like i think people it's not as bad as people don't really see them you do see them a bit but like caimans you don't see i didn't see a caiman you're jaguar i saw a jaguar in the water wait so they're supposed to be like

19:48Chip:one of the most deadly like they're the king of the jungle yeah they're the king of the jungle so did you not wait so so a jaguar sees you you don't see them yeah but guess what motherfucking Joe Paisley I saw it in the water but you saw it on land though like just across from you exposing a bit here I saw it in the water on one of the training days and I got a clip of it no that's still like bro just to even see that though but yeah no uh yeah the the jaguar is the king of the jungle if a jag basically if a jaguar is with it's like what is it infants or their cups what's the word like their babies basically and you come across it you're fucked oh it's like a bear yeah yeah if it's on its own it'll just leave you alone so just you don't want to get unlucky the biggest danger in the amazon isn't the creatures um it's the trees so if a tree falls on you trees fall in the amazon all the time so if you're sleeping there and a tree falls on you you're fucked such an L way to die so how did you die yeah like you were in the Amazon with all those things

20:50Cal:and it was a tree those things that stay stationary for a hundred years and it just decided to move when you were there you're a fucking loser yeah oh a dying bad tree but there's loads in the Amazon that you probably haven't even heard of like there's these pigs which come in swarms of like a hundred wild boar wild like really aggressive pigs and we got taught that if they come after you yeah like don't run because they'll catch you. The only thing you can do is climb. Climb up a tree. There's a rock riders around the bottom. We've come full circle. Now you've got to climb the tree. Oh, no. If you saw one of them, you'd be like, oh, yeah, I'll pick.

21:29You've got to get down and become one of them.

21:32Cal:If you start blending in, it'll never fucking...

21:37Chip:What'd you do in the Amazon? I became a pig. so these were these were one of the sketchiest things as well that you had to potentially face um not really apparently it's unlikely to come in contact with them yeah you just got to train with all the circumstances yeah the bullet ants are like one of the i've heard about most things there because they're everywhere they're like massive yeah like massive like i'd say like like that big right like an ant yeah like that big and they have the most painful sting on the planet so it's not deadly yeah you're not going to die but if you get stung by that apparently it is the most painful thing you'll ever feel in your life i saw coyote peterson do that did he do that yeah he didn't like that one i don't know if he's uploaded yeah and you did you see any of them yeah bullet and sweat everywhere oh everywhere that's why you have to get off the ground yeah it's important so building a shelter having a bed above the ground even if you're off the ground

22:36Cal:like things not getting onto you like during the middle of the night um weird little i had a snake come next to my bed how do we get the i think i've seen that i think i've seen that clip actually

22:47Chip:yeah this is insane now at this point if i saw that so my biggest fear of snakes if i saw this i couldn't sleep is it but you you in the video you just kind of like oh that's a bit annoying

22:57Cal:anyways no no no no that's shell at the fucking back there it is there it is not gonna lie you've built a like two bed fucking that's better than my that's a little masonette right there at least you know you could take it but it's not for the amazon's snakes it's a pretty mild one like it's not that crazy did you know what type of snake that was no so I didn't know of like one bite of this thing and then he kind of strikes at me here wait turning away from him you're mad the lights on him looks like you're trying to give him a strip oh shit I'd shit myself Jesus Yeah Yeah Wow Oh yeah He kind of falls towards you So then he Crawled up the tree And he was just lingering there So he just slept with bro above you Yeah That's just mad

23:46Chip:I just couldn't do that man I'm serious I actually couldn't What would you That be the worst part Yeah it's the snakes for me That would just be the We can do one We can do one

23:55Cal:Are you waking up Are you waking up Are you waking up every few hours To keep the fire going I have to wake up every hour To keep the fire going how are you waking yourself up just alarm I'll be saying alarm every hour yeah fair enough yeah anyway but yeah you have to wake up every single hour to keep the fire going because that fire was a bitch to make because of how wet it is and it rained that night as well so the wood was even more wet so if that fire went out the fire is so important the fire keeps the mosquitoes away the main thing like if you don't have the fire there it I can't even explain how bad it is.

24:32When I walk out of that camp at night time, I can't walk for longer than two minutes without going back because I'm just being bombarded by mosquitoes. It also keeps like creepy coolies away. It helps kind of keep jaguars away. That's probably up there with a big benefit. Insects would be the worst part for me, I think. Yes, it is the worst part. That poor Rosalind guy, he was camping in a tent on the floor and there was these leaf cutter ants and they just like slowly just took it, like took down his whole tent and we're just carrying his tent away. It was just like snipping massive parts of it out and it was walking off of it.

25:11And like the whole wall was gone

25:12Cal:and it was like, oh fuck. It's like them fucking nitties on Mer Street.

25:19Chip:Slowly your office and studio's gone.

25:22Cal:Taking away everything. But man, so how, by the way, stupid question, but how hot is it at night there? You just not got really, I heard it was cold it depends what season you're in it was if you don't have the fire you'll get really cold but then the fire you're way too hot but then basically I was sweating like so uncomfortably hot because the fire was right next to me yeah but it was either that or just be fucking bit in a lie so I chose being a bit hot

25:46Chip:yeah mate would you so do you know a guy called Ash Dykes no so he recently went to Suriname and it started like well in the Amazon yeah like a really he was there to find like the source of a river went and found it and then made his way followed it all the way to the sea um and he did it with two of his mates i think or maybe three um and he managed to do like this world record thing and all sorts is that something that you would ever like want to do having experienced what you've experienced in amazon would you go back no that's promising no that's promising you know nelk yeah they were asking if i wanted to go help them do like a survival video and i and i said i said in the message i said if it's the amazon then i won't do it but something else i'd potentially could you go congo congo yeah i've heard congos what is the congo's fuck yeah like the country yeah but like the rainforest in the congo oh really yeah because uh we had hardest geezer come on he didn't want to speak too much about it i think some like dodgy stuff happened when he was in there but he said like that was his worst place.

26:55Chip:A lot of uncontacted tribes there as well. Yeah, really.

26:58Cal:I feel like I'd get on with them though. It's like some of the most dense jungle, I think. Really? Yeah, I can imagine that. I mean, new video idea. Take a little laptop with you, show the uncontacted tribes Minecraft. They'll be like, what the fuck? Well, have you guys seen the, back in the day, there was a show and the guy who I met in the Amazon was on this show and it's basically where he swaps lives with a Londoner. so a London person goes and lives because he's obviously from the jungle so he goes and lives in the jungle and then this guy gets a visa and comes and lives in London and it's like one of the coolest shows ever I want to do that I think that'd be a sick video getting some guy from an uncontacted tribe bringing him to England and taking him through my day in life what just banging Jim you know Cameron did that he was on a TV show called Meet the Natives and they brought in a native tribe to live in his house in Manchester for like two weeks what?

27:51Cal:yeah so they were living they were getting shown and like vimto and shit. It was fucking,

27:57Chip:honestly,

27:58Cal:it was mental. Oh, it was a brilliant show. That would be, that would be a great video for you though. I feel like the uncontacted tribe, it'd be harder for them to adjust than the other way around. I mean, if you had no training, you'd die, yeah. But like,

28:11Chip:no, no, I do think, I do think it just in terms of like, bought to the shops naked and they're like, oh, you've been done. Start drinking out the Thames. yeah no you don't want to be drinking out of temps um it's okay so you you're not going back to the amazon would you go back on the indian train no no no chance that so because this is another bit of context for people you did a you did a um uh train an overnight train i think it was 72 hours as well wasn't it 91 hours in the end yeah yeah that's in 91 hours in the end so when i finished the india train i said that's the worst thing i've ever done in my life then the amazon happened so the india train's now the second worst thing i've ever done in my

28:58Cal:life yeah like genuinely it was awful was it any specific train or was it just any all indian sleeper trains like that so i went on the longest sleeper train in india it's called the vivek express it's uh 84 hours it ended up being delayed so mine was 91 hours um but it's just i mean for some context it's 10 pounds for the 82 hour 84 hour ticket is that like standard classes so that that's the the lowest one and then the middle i bought all three classes so i bought the lowest one which was 10 pounds the middle one which was like i can't remember like 18 pounds and the highest was like 30 pounds okay um but they were all

29:38Chip:equally just because i was watching your video and there's actually not that much of it if any difference like you go from the first spot where you actually had your own your own space yeah yeah um then the second one you turn up you're just sharing and this guy's got his feet in your face yeah mental yeah right then the final one which is actually quite wholesome a nice little wholesome ending but still you you were sharing a bed in the first class luxury thing he's sharing a bed with another bloke networking though was it boiling on there as well yeah it was uh the lower class has no air con so it's like but the lower class was probably the best part because i had my bed but that was only because it was the start of the journey which is just quieter right if i was in the lower class like in the third half of the trip i would have been i need you to go back and reverse it so do you the ending when it's mad busy that would be great for content to be fair but i don't know what i would have done it got so busy in there like uh i went and got a clip in the lower class because i want on the final day and i it took me maybe like 45 minutes to just get a shot of the thing because it's just it's so many people it's mental so is this one of those trains that you often see those shots where there's loads of people hanging off the side not like the india's kind of cracked down on that that's not as common anymore in india um you need a ticket now like you oh that's good you can't walk on a train and buy a ticket on the train like you need to in fact even get a ticket for this train was so hard it was so long like um yeah they've kind of cracked down so they're getting on and getting off situation is not as

31:17Cal:bad you know when you see them videos of like a million people trying to get on at once you're

31:20Chip:like i'm sweet there's one bit though where you oh like the strange train starts leaving and then you jump on it yeah yeah yeah you can do all of that the doors are open non-stop yeah like the nicest part of the journey was sitting out and just like the door that was open just sitting on the ledge of there and just watching the views because it's the most space you have the entire time. Yeah. There was one bit though in it and I was like and you even mentioned it in the video that I said oh this is pretty grim was when they're like chucking just the rubbish out the window. Like they don't use bins.

31:55Chip:Everyone just chucks out the window. Fuck. Can I rate it? Of course you fucking did. You scrub. Oh, it's convenient, isn't it? That's just called your gaff. Really bad for the environment. I don't fuck with that shit at all, but like on a one-off, just...

32:10Cal:Mate, who was it? Just on a fucking one-off. Yeah, just like, oh, you know what? Just this one. Dash a little white monster. When I was like 11, I used to fucking leather, man.

32:20Chip:You're such a trap. The Astro just... Shouldn't be laughing. Because they had brought them into the bushes. We wouldn't do it now, but at the top of it. Obviously, just liberating. Don't worry, man. That's it. No, you just hand them, you hand them rubbish and even the cleaners just chuck it out the chuck out the door and yeah the cleaner like goes gets all the trash and then just stands at the door dashing it out and you're like man i could have done that well i i uh on my first night there i just finished a curry uh well i didn't finish it wasn't it was too spicy but i didn't want it anymore so i was like is there a bin i was saying to the people near me on the train and they were like there there and they pointing at the window that was fully open and i i was like no i can't i can't throw out there like obviously uh i'm not not like you and um eventually there was a bin it was probably the cleanest part of the drain which sounds bad and i put it in the bin but then i kind of just think to myself the cleaners probably just take it out the bin and then chuck it out because i then did a test where I went to cleaners with a bottle and I went up to about five different cleaners and all of them just chucked it out the door, the open door that was there.

33:30Could dash a curry though, that wouldn't be bad.

33:32Chip:No, but it's in like a plastic box. Huh? No, the box goes with it. Oh, yeah. The plastic box, yeah. I mean you've outed yourself, bro. I was just saying I'd dash a curry. You look at the tracks and the tracks are just just poo. Just, well, no, not poo. Shit out the window. But yeah, just litter. What was it? You don't show like the, I don't think you show the actual toilet situation. Yeah. The toilets were, they were fucked. Yeah. Yeah. No, come on. I need to picture it. I just avoided having a shit the entire time. For four days. Pop an Imodium and just crack on. Yeah, I just had to firm it. I wasn't going to do that.

34:14Cal:Was that your plan before you got on the train? You knew this thing was going to be fucked. Well, I was hoping that like the upper class would have been a bit nicer, but it wasn't really who off the side i didn't see that i didn't see that so i i can't say yes or no i got a bit of hate actually for making that video why uh yeah well like a lot of people from india were hating being like oh why did you choose the lowest class ticket you're just showing the bad side of india like why all of them why yeah exactly it was like why are you doing one of the cheapest trains i was like the video was not the cheapest train in india that wasn't the purpose of the video the video was the longest train in india yeah and i just experienced i just documented my experience also you can't win because if you just got the higher class i'd be like oh well obviously the influencer gets the fucking idea exactly yeah yeah yeah everything

35:02Chip:yeah that one was um yeah there's some them fuck shit we actually had um simon wilson yeah yeah yeah i actually see quite a lot of like the similar sort of like vibes his is obviously way more like uncut and he's making about a billion friends on his trips yes yeah talk to every person on the cruise did he yeah seen the uh one of him in the diner recently and i think that the most like comment was like because it was like a really stoned guy working oh my god yes and it was like the worst thing you can happen is simon wilson yeah and you can see it and the geezers here like oh you're all right he's like how are you mate that whole thing both stoned out of his mind

35:42Cal:rotation yeah was that the american diners after midnight yeah yeah yeah um but anyway simon wilson mentioned it was simon wilson wasn't it or was it um it might have been mike okay mike okay one

35:56Chip:of the two i forget but we had um both of them on the podcast and they said they went to afghanistan and i i think it was simon wilson he said he couldn't talk about what happened yes it was Simon I think it was Simon wasn't it yeah and I watched a video of you going to Afghanistan what I mean that is just crazy yeah going there and I saw literally your video starts with a disclaimer like yo yeah is that where your guy got kidnapped or was that Sudan that was Sudan yeah alright we gotta get onto that I did not hear about this yeah man again just like Simon like you don't really want to speak too much about it because there's other people involved in this whole thing right so you kind of have to be as respectful as possible like afghanistan a beautiful country like the people going into the country everyone genuinely the most hospitality i've had from the locals when i arrived because obviously they don't see that many tourists right it's not the most tourist central place basically kind of my own fault we didn't get like a a permit for filming none of that we got told in our defense that by a tour company that we'd be completely fine so we filmed on our phone uh when we got into afghanistan and i kind of just wanted to film my like experience in the country it was nothing negative about afghanistan i just wanted to like vlog me being in afghanistan right so it was me and my camera guy jack and we filmed everything on phone because we didn't want to bring too much attention to ourselves anyway we get to the hotel so we get to the airport we get transferred to the hotel and everything's great i remember saying to the camera i was like this is calm like yeah we've been to other places like south sudan where we just felt unsafe but we feel amazing here like everything's great like really looking forward to it like mood was high and then we go out and start filming in the streets of afghanistan and we go to this like mosque place and there's taliban outside it basically tell you know like who's taliban and Taliban have massive beards.

38:01So you can't have a massive beard if you're not Taliban. Really? Yeah. And they have massive guns as well. I don't give it away. That's another one. Someone's got a massive gun and a clean shave and you're like, ah, he's just tapped.

38:16Walk up to this mosque and they see my camera guy, Jack, kind of like filming kind of discreetly on the phone so it looks a bit suspicious. Yeah. So then he starts like... Patting you down. Patting me down and then he spots a mic on me. there's like a secret hidden mic his eyes no but it's not it's just a d it's just a dji like

38:34Chip:mic it's not like some wire attack thing yeah so then they don't get many vlog like they've never seen that right you don't know about dji um so then they start like questioning my tour guide like i can sense obviously can't speak the language but i can sense like tensions getting a bit higher they asked for our passports taking photos of our passports like we're kind of like far so we're like i just say to my tour guide like can we get out of here so he de-escalates the situation we seem to be fine we get out of there yeah we go to another place drive to another place a bit further away it's like an abandoned well it's not an abandoned theme park it's a theme park but there was no one in there but we were like you know what we'll be fine filming in here it's a theme park nothing deep about that another taliban member sees us in there uh he starts questioning us like why are we filming and uh again they're speaking in their language my tour guide and the taliban member are speaking back and forth tensions getting a bit higher and then i remember my tour guide like turns to me and he looks a bit worried and he's like they've started an investigation on you as soon as i hear that i'm like fuck this like i'm just gonna get out the country um so i i just pull my tour guide aside to say look can we get out of here eventually we get out of there get to the hotel book the next flight out because it's like it's all good making these videos exploring cool countries but when it comes to being investigated by the taliban it's like because in the video you mentioned that literally a couple days prior a youtuber had been put in jail yes yeah so for essentially the thing that you were doing at the time right yeah yeah pretty much did you find out any info i don't know that we got told it by someone in the country um okay that some youtubers have been put put in jail but again just want to preface my own fault all of this like i went into the country without a pass uh everyone there was very accommodating like no one did anything wrong but it was my own fault yeah i am because you needed the journalist visa yes but again it was from it was yeah you were just misinformed about i might go back to the country uh genuinely yeah i've been speaking to some some people in the country so i might might be going back soon so big up finally filming the amusement park yeah get the clip have to go back what did the Taliban actually do they run the country they run the country yeah okay so they're just going around and forcing their shit yeah what's the theme part like man it was like as I said an abandoned theme but that's kind of the vibe it gave it was very yeah like a cod map yes that's a great way to put it literally but it was weird like when you pull into like the plane comes into Afghanistan like there's just loads of like US military like helicopters tanks banks does that affect your american like ester slash no people were saying in russia no oh i thought you were meant to come on like one of the recent young la trips and someone was like oh it's because you went to russia yeah so i thought that was the case and then we applied for one and it was calm no afghanistan ain't on there neither okay it's like iran i believe yeah there's a what's it cuba maybe yeah but i i think if you go there you can still go to america you just can't apply for an SD you need to go it's a longer process it's a longer process but if you just explain to them you make YouTube videos in the Visa Center they probably will let you in yeah but I know like do you know Harry Jaggard no he's a travel YouTuber he wanted to go to a country which the easiest route was to go and get a connecting flight in America and then the next flight to that country he couldn't do that so he had to do like a 50 hour journey to get to the country yeah because even if you're you're just crossing in like when I went to Mexico, I went via Miami.

42:18Chip:Yeah. And you have to have like an S and everything sorted because you still have to go through the border control. Then you got to check your bags and it's the longest process ever to get a connecting flight through the US. Oh yeah. Yeah. Especially when it's not self-transfer. Yeah. That's what I mean. None of it is. That's the longest thing ever. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if this is being said online, but the forfeit for their FPL, whoever comes bottom has to fly around the whole world in economy and you can't leave the airport. It's just every continent back to back to back flight. It's like 60.

42:44Chip:Yeah. It's like a 60 hour journey. what the yeah don't steal don't steal don't steal actually it doesn't matter really if you do it for a video you can do I won't steal that I won't steal it no I mean for a job to do it that's part of the forfeit you can't make content out you're not allowed that's what I was going to ask you couldn't make a great video you're not allowed to make any content fuck that yeah you're actually going to do that yeah yeah yeah well the loser has to do it the loser has to do it no video no no no I'm not in the league I turned I got invited as soon as you heard that I wish I turned it off and I was like yeah nah I don't think it's worth it and then that forfeit came in I was like oh fuck fuck that yeah so you gotta pay for it as well plus the 10 grand forfeit fee anyways for coming last you gotta pay 10 grand to the board what's second to bottom second to bottom is is it the bus are you busking

43:30Cal:is someone busking in town I don't know if we did might be TikTok dancers again

43:34Chip:no I don't think it is I'd take a TikTok dance yeah TikTok dancers are brilliant I'm really good

43:38Cal:and is it 5 grand as well I honestly would love to throw it back for the forfeit you are someone in that league that would get away with it. So does Randy gets away with it. Well I haven't done my far from the last week. Tiktok dancers.

43:51Chip:What makes you say that? I don't know. He's just a bit more straight laced than him. Randy's like, he can - You gotta really get into - Is his dancing videos and stuff that he's done recently, is that - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the Spider-Man thing - That's brilliant. You know that's one that like - The fact that people don't know that it's a forfeit makes it so - Yeah, that's good. I've heard of the ones that obviously did it so well. I thought that one was a bit like so funny what makes it even better is a lot of people push you out and they do FPL forfeit in the description no this is a rule you're not allowed to you're not allowed to all the comments are taking the divorce well then yeah I think you commented on one of them didn't you yeah so the second bottom one sorry is you have to do a 12 hour TikTok live stream where you can only beg for money but all the money must go towards the the FPL holiday at the end of the season.

44:44Chip:So you don't get to keep any.

44:45Cal:What if you like, and you can't say job.

44:48Chip:What's that? You can't say no. While they're there. The only thing they're allowed to say is, Oh, thanks for the donation. I appreciate it. But it's just 12 hours of just that. From when JJ did it, they now kind of know that that was an FPL one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But even this one, I don't mind if people even know about it. You still got a, he fell asleep. Yeah. JJ fell asleep. Yeah. Then we've got third from bottom is, you get dropped 10 kilometers away from a pub or bar. You have to hand over your card to the people in the bar and then we can just spend it until they get the 10 kilometers here.

45:21Chip:But they can't get any transport. You have to run or walk. There's no tattoo this year. No, no tattoo this year. That one got... You guys do extreme fourth. And there's obviously money attached to all of them. So bottom, you got to pay 10K. Then the other two got to pay 5K each. That goes towards one big holiday.

45:36Cal:It kind of ruins your year, to be honest. Like, I'll be real. I'm just getting week two and I'm already like why have I accepted well people have dropped out haven't they yeah people can Randy and Reeve dropped out Ethan's dropped out yeah I don't know who would do that around the world I think that sounds like hell Harry would do it the best I think no no

45:55Chip:Arthur TV will because he's got this VR he has a fucking meta quest on every flight imagine the flight attendant coming around well like you accidentally oh sorry mate he's usually in business class right nah not usually yeah Yeah, he likes to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it'll be interesting to see. I don't know who will come bottom, but I'm looking forward to it anyways. The thing is, what I was tempted to do as well is find one of their legs and I'll just go in business class there and just double check they're all good back there. That would be a bad.

46:27Cal:On the Europe one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. Send some videos into the group chat. Like, okay, mate. Exactly. Right, what's this South Sudan shit? Wait, did somebody actually get kidnapped? Yeah, Sudan. South Sudan. basically South Sudan is like apparently the second most dangerous country in the world so that's why we went there but we met this guy called Mr BMG legend by the way big meat gang wait no that's not his name is it? no Mr BMG but not Mr you had me all right okay like I tapped him with Sudan fucking influences like that. Also, before you start, is that the place where on Google Earth you could see dead bodies?

47:16Not to make it morbid. Going from big meat. I don't know. Okay. I think we might find out.

47:21Cal:Can you pull that up? Is it next to Egypt? I don't know if it's next to Egypt. It's in like the middle of Africa. Yeah. That's mad. But Sudan and South Sudan are different places. Okay. Like South Sudan's the newest country in the world. I bet it's getting a bit... South Sudan's the newest country. South Sudan's the newest country. It's got its independence from Sudan. But it's just been a civil war ever since, basically. So yeah, we got into the country, met this guy called Mr. BMG. He shows us around the place. Again, just like anywhere I go to, I film like my honest experience there. And honestly, it wasn't a great experience.

47:59It was like being... Police officers pull you over left, right and centre. You have to bribe them. How much is a bribe? are like i'd rather with a few chocolate bars one time like like nothing like or money like we ran out of cash because we'd been pulled over too many times had some like twixes and mars bars getting that um so and then like it's it's the poorest country in the world so i was speaking to some workers who make like 30 a month which is crazy um and film that posted it get back yeah happy days um had filming permission at this place actually because filming in south sudan's illegal you can't film like just even the locals can't film in the streets so you get stopped by with the big camera we had stopped by police officers constantly um and yeah we're all good got permission to film film my experience in south sudan posted it mr bmg everything's going great you know about two weeks later i get a call from um mr bmg who's a guy i was in the country with yeah and i answered the call and i remember i'd just come back from a night out uh and i was like you're right and he was like he basically just told me he was like i've just been um put in jail um because of the video you posted and he said i'm not they won't release me unless you take down the video um so obviously was that one out of ten yeah it was sorry bro you might have to hold that

49:29Cal:got a tough decision on your hands there pal it was it was it was painful to take down I unlisted it so it's not was it still in the algorithm was it still cooking it was doing insane you should have told him let him tail off let him tail off you know what it was well the original video of South Sudan got deleted like YouTube took I posted it it was up for two days YouTube took it down like completely removed it off the platform because I'd filmed in the airport and apparently I wasn't allowed to do that. Like I filmed as a security guard in the airport. So I reposted the video, even though it had been up for two days already.

50:05And it's still bang. So it was 10 out of 10 when I reposted it because obviously all my viewers have seen it. But the video just was doing so well that even after reposting it, after a couple of days, it was just flying. Super chugger, that's what we call that. So I took the video down, obviously, because I don't really want to go to jail. And then I started speaking to him. I was like, I, he got released from jail because I took the video down and I was messaging Mr. BMG a few days later. I was like, is there any way I can get this video up? Um, and he was like, no, there's no chance. Like, I'm sorry, mate.

50:36And he wanted the video because he's a YouTuber. It gave him publicity for it. Um, and I even said to Mr. BMG, cause I was, I was maybe like, is this guy like wanting me to bribe him? Is he doing this? Um, so I offered him like$5 ,000. He said, no, you can't get the video up. I'm sorry. And then eventually I said, look, is there anyone like within the government that I could potentially speak to and he managed to find me a contact within the South Sudan government which I bribed was it five thousand pounds you say this oh wait I didn't bribe actually I you gifted I gifted yes yeah um 10k bits yeah gifted in some subs about five thousand pounds worth and uh they said put the video back up and there'll be no consequences and i didn't been fine thank god i unlisted the video and not properly took it down yeah and then when it went

51:30Chip:back is a video so it's still up now yeah yeah the video the video did what was it about this video because like you said it further down you said you had a not a great time there but you didn't anything you said there didn't make it seem like the worst time your views are fuck oh my god sick thumbnail yeah your thumbnails by the way are unbelievable yeah thank you unfortunately now ai is ruining like the art of making good thumbnails it's so interesting the

51:58Cal:contrast you do that most dangerous country south sudan and then the next video is like going to

52:02Chip:air one or i launched a fake there you go yeah which was the most are you still gonna keep it like when it first started when it was a watermelon water wait oh what we've kind of original one can you really i deleted after a week um yeah no i hate the new um i hate ai i mean i obviously have to you know if you can't have to you can't ignore it fix it you just got to join them right so um but but i miss the old days where i remember that that brush of thumb's good i want to talk about the rush of trip in a minute that was the first ai thumbnail i ever did yeah um and I obviously edited my, that was when, that was like six months ago.

52:44So when you did AI, it changed your face a lot more. Yeah. So we edited my face in there, but I remember seeing that and I was like, fuck, this is the new generation of like thumbnails now. Yeah. It's even like, I'll try to find thumbnail people and then I'm just like, I'm basically giving you the prompt. Like you're just fucking copy and paste my text into ChatGBT. But what I do now is I get someone to make a thumbnail and then I'll just say to AI, like, can you change this part instead of going back and forth with bro? Yeah, yeah. A little one-bone combo. And then my face looks normal and then I'd be like, oh, change this.

53:13I hate a thumbnail that looks too AI. Like where it looks so fake. Everything I say to my thumbnail editors. Look, Cal Freezy General real quick. No, go and look at this. Mine's actually cold.

53:22Cal:Yours aren't too bad, Cal, I'll be honest. I used a guy recently where I asked him for a thumbnail and he gave me a full AI thumbnail back and I said, this looks too AI and all he went and did back was just go and write a new prompt and just sent the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, fuck. Yeah, your shit's solid. Oh, it's changed from Harlan to Declan Rice on that one.

53:38Chip:That's an AB test. AB test. Declan Rice won actually. New two. Declan Rice win it. Yeah, new one's going crazy. What was the AB test? Haaland, Declan Rice. And then there was another third completely different like set up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't either. Do AB test title anthem now? We'll usually do it segment by. So we'll first do thumbnails. Then we'll do titles and just do it that way. But we'll only do it after 24 hours of the video being up. We don't AB off the rip. You don't AB off the rip? No, because it's pointless. because it's your initial viewers that are watching it anyway. So that's why you only get like one or 2 % differences between it.

54:13Chip:So like they're going to click on almost no matter what, give or take, unless you've clearly got a terrible thumb. Fair. And then, so after 24 hours, that's when we'll do it, when we figure YouTube's trying to reach the new audience. It's mental that I get stressed about a fucking weekly vlog and you've got to call up the fucking Sudan government. That's a bit too much.

54:34Cal:Sat in your fucking gaff, making a protein shake. get dressed up.

54:38Chip:Mosquitos everywhere. Has there ever been a video that you filmed? Why are you laughing at that? Why are you laughing at that? No, it's just because I'll fade. You just look so funny, man. I love it. No, no, no. The faded ones always kill me. I don't like that there's back to back faded ones. It just looks like I'm a hit. Yeah. AB gets faded. AB gets faded. That eclipse one was actually night and I got AI to make it day.

55:12You still edit your video still right? Yeah.

55:14Cal:I love it. 8am you're at gold gym Is that more because 6pm I'm still in LA 6pm you're just in a villa I don't know what happened You've gone home have you Back to the Airbnb No way My thumbnail guy was like What do you want I was like Ooh Maybe just at 8am and 6pm You actually look at it It's just not making any sense It's so funny bro People clicked Yeah What was it out of 10 Latest one Two Nice Oh I love that AB is moving to America That was when my passport Hadn't come for the World Cup and I was losing my mind in a flight and I was like, oh, it's been too long. God freaky is unbelievable. I'm getting 9-11 vibes from that bomb, bro.

55:52Yeah, that is a little bit. I'd say there's no one that has done YouTube like you have. Let me explain. Let me explain. Like minimal effort. No, no. It's in like people on TikTok and their goal is to move to YouTube, right? That's kind of like the goal. No one's done it as successfully as you. Like if me and Kai speak to people, We're like, and they're like, oh, how, how would we grow? You know, they want to ask for advice. We say, try and do what AB did, blow up on TikTok and then move them to YouTube. But it's very hard to move to YouTube. But you did it just like so well. I think a lot of people tried to do it too early.

56:30And also people message me like, oh, what's a good camera to start vlogging? I'm like, you kind of have to start on TikTok now. Yeah. My TikTok audience for ages, even though my videos were banging, they were like, start YouTube, start YouTube. I was like, it's not, it's too soon. I'm not doing it. I'm still at my mum's gaff. and then when I got invited to that Newcastle night out with you I was like seems like a good first video yeah in the thumbnail for my first ever vid yeah I think after like 10 hours it was on 80k and I was like insane I was like all right I'm in it then that's it because YouTube's like not nice to smaller creators like TikTok you get on the algorithm you get on the for you page

57:04Chip:what I will say though is you often and people don't like almost respect it enough but the first video you upload on a channel yeah is gets pushed out heavy so your first video actually needs to be really good that's why it was so good that he had like well jj in the thumb or whatever oh really yeah it gets pushed out because it does try and give discovery to new creators but the only thing is once you get to video like four five and six that obviously slows down unless the content is still something loads of people want to say 31 mil yeah i got um copyrighted unfortunately like I'll make 31 mil

57:39Cal:I used to watch your videos When you first ever started You remember the pesto pasta You used to make it a big bowl I used to watch that I make it You've actually deleted My Joe Fazer impression video now No way No

57:50Chip:Really Was it a big vid Yeah It did do well It did do well I think I I think I was actually Quite on that I was like I think I actually said like I'm testing which Taliban member Oh my god Oh right It was actually been dotted No I remember they blew I remember I still I still vividly remember my mate Jack because I live with him he was like I'll come in here look at this video and I still remember watching that exact video and I remember you got a bit of hate for it as well yeah and then you put some laughing emojis and everyone chill out to be fair a lot of people have done that since but I think I was maybe mate there's loads of people who do Joe Fazer impressions oh yeah but he's the king of just TikToker impressions yeah his Declan White's videos were funny to be fair oh he's been unlimited content glitch so good yeah the og gym videos i feel like every kid especially in my generation just like got into the gym watching them like all my mates like i was using code fucking phaser yeah well it's not i've never had code yeah come on yeah yeah i know you're locked in uh no i obviously i started as a fitness channel and i've kind of moved i still do like a bit of a bit of fitness you reckon you'll leave behind the fitness kind of videos of

59:06Cal:now that you're going into, well, you're doing way more travel. I kind of, to an extent, have. As you just said, there's only so many times you can film yourself bench pressing. You know, it gets really boring. So it's a lot cooler to be able to travel the world. Yeah. And also you... Throw a calorie challenge in every now and then. Yeah, yeah. Got a calorie challenge coming up, actually. There you go.

59:27But you also limit yourself with fitness to a certain amount of viewers. Yeah, there is a ceiling. And I feel like the ceiling has just got lower and lower. like even when I started doing it on TikTok it felt like an easy way to just grow and now it's like I don't think anyone's watching well you get loads of people like getting annoyed at you right because of you sacking off the fit well especially in the fitness world in the day yeah people are over it now but people like go back to old AB I'll get back to pure gym and yeah yeah yeah it's weird but I feel like the balance you've got's good where it's like you do these big YouTube videos but then like your short form still like gym stuff yeah yeah I'd say short form I need to improve on a little bit like same yeah everyone who's got long form down is like I just bang clips onto Insta Reels

1:00:12Cal:yeah because you've just got to be proper lazy with the short form in a way that's just what works but I'm just like trying to perfect it and that's not what you want to do you'll spend ages on Capcom like bro yeah and I'm just like what am I doing but the last thing I want to do is turn to like Mr. Beast style short form yeah it's all like kind of childish and I tried that with food for a bit

1:00:32Chip:and it was just horror and I was like do you know what i need to just like literally go and try food and just post it rather than like i had like all these planned out like this is how we do it like yeah super formatted short form yeah and i was there like and as soon as i scrapped that and went to other stuff it just started

1:00:47Cal:doing way better yeah yeah yeah do you have a lot of clippers for your stuff i feel like it's a gold mine i i only have one clipper that i pay yeah but is there a lot of guys that are just doing it for the love of the game loads of yeah yeah some some go create some get more views than like my actual video on YouTube. It's meant mad, isn't it? Um, but I remember I used to make like quite a lot of money from clipping on Tik TOK. Like this guy who did my clips, he'd get 50 % of the revenue and I get 50%. I'd been paying him and all of this. And I was making like a fair amount of money. And then one day Tik TOK just switched.

1:01:20And if you were doing clips of YouTube videos, you didn't get paid anymore.

1:01:23Chip:Yeah. Yeah. They literally said, unless it was original content, you're just not getting it. So what happens if I posted my video? Yeah. They still just say, fuck off really yeah what about if i slightly edited it differently would it maybe maybe maybe change the situation yeah what they changed change the pitch that classic videos over a minute now but like my lily phyllis bonnie blue ones back it down like 600 quid a video yeah really it's pretty fun 600 on tiktok on the ones that got like millions yeah yeah mate that was mad i just don't think you get that you definitely don't i was i was making uh on the clips because my my youtube is very like clip friendly because they're very short videos anyway.

1:02:01It's very easy to clip them up. I was making like in the peak of it, like eight to 10 K a month, just extra from the clips. Yeah. And now it's two pounds. Yeah. It's mental. Yeah. I don't know. It's,

1:02:15Chip:it's a bit of a shame though, because it is your video. Like it's still your content. You're not like going around ripping other people's videos. It's still yours, but they just don't recognize that. If it's on YouTube, then is that, is that, I have no idea how to do it. No context to AB he's had like three TikTok accounts taken down for impersonating me as well

1:02:32Cal:That's why he has to put in the bio and it not AB Oh his TikTok accounts got taken down You see Nathaniel you know Nathaniel Messiah Yeah His YouTube got taken down because there was why does he because he was posting clips on another YouTube of his he was posting he made another YouTube posting his clips Oh right and they took down his main YouTube channel for that because they thought that was copying them. Is it still down? No, he got it back up. It was with Gymshark at the time and they have like crazy connections. So yeah. What if a young LA guy? Yeah.

1:03:09Chip:Oh really? Are you guys part of a young LA? I didn't know that you were in the same fucking shorts. So what you never actually mentioned, oh wait, you're saying your friend got kidnapped. Sorry, just to go back to South Sudan thing. I'm locked in. I kind of went on a mask. Yeah, but you went, the guy that got kidnapped was the was the YouTuber you were saying they got put in jail he was the guy that got kidnapped he got kidnapped fine I managed to bring him out someone some money yeah and he and I could put the video back okay right I thought it was like your cameraman that got nicked to it but I was like fuck me he got released as soon as I took the video that's wild innit so he was fine but I wanted the video back up yeah yeah that's where the gift have you ever had a video that you filmed and you've just not been able to release not for like safety reasons or anything but there's been several videos of film which I'm like yeah like I went to Iceland because it's the safest country in the world but then I was kind of like well there's nothing nothing happened

1:04:07Cal:yeah this is actually quite safe you've got to commit crimes oh I stood outside at 4am and I'm sick we posted our Iceland one our Iceland one was great nothing came good at that Iceland's a cursed place for videos We just realized you need sunlight to be happy, bro. I mean, wait, what happened? What happened? Oh, we'd have to go in. Some of God's fucking people didn't. It was a really good vlog. It's got a mill views as well. Old mill, by the way. It was just like, it was just a raw edited vlog. It's just pure fucking around. A raw edited vlog of mill views. Yeah. Fucking play. Yeah. That was just, yeah, wake up when it's dark, drive for four hours.

1:04:46It was fucking whack. It's dark again.

1:04:49Cal:But we, we knew that was going to happen, but until you're actually there and you're like, waking up at three and you're like, fuck. You're like, nah, you don't realise how depressing it can get. Fair play to them living it out every day over there. I was fresh out of inside as well. I was just ready to go home for Christmas. I was burnt out. Yeah,

1:05:04Chip:I remember, I felt like you'd been on some mad, like you'd be filming almost. This is 10th burnout of the year, bro. Yeah, yeah, it's a lot. Yeah, you've been on some crazy, crazy ones since blowing up. Yeah, don't feel like it though, really. Kind of just one day you're going to be 30, bro, and you're like what? What's life like for you in London? Because like Oh don't bring that sensitive topic No no no not in that sense The mosquitoes mate wait till he tells you about them You've set him off As in like because me and Vinesh I come to London a lot but you don't really get I don't ever really get recognised that much It's way less here than it is everywhere else in the UK because everyone's kind of just tunnel vision there's loads like just different demographics Yeah You still get I think when you go to pubs and nights out you get it a fair bit Fair But like yeah compared to up north it's like that's like 10x Manchester's actually probably the biggest one I think yeah all those places yeah you must get quite a bit in Nottingham that's that prime as you said it depends on what situation if you're on a night out yes but walking around London yeah it's pretty chill basically never you guys probably get it constantly right in London yeah in London yeah it's pretty normal it's still way worse up in like you go to any smaller places they're not used to it they're just like what the fuck are you doing I get that all the time in Harrogate they're like what are you doing here I was like

1:06:24Cal:I'm from here word spreads as well word spreads as well that you're at the local chipping and everyone just turns up yeah big time yeah that is always fucking horror you're just trying to get a battered sausage it's so obvious when you can tell people showed up just because you're there fucking look

1:06:39Chip:walking past one of these I had that yesterday in London actually oh really they were like AB and I was like no then and then kind of walked off just staring at The worst is if somebody goes to take a photo and it's a Snapchat video.

1:06:55Cal:Oh my God.

1:06:56Chip:And I'm just looking at it and I'm there like, yeah. It's caught you way off guard. I never know what to do. And they're like, yes, bro. Yes, bro. I'm like, yeah. Yeah.

1:07:09Cal:And then they say, can you say hi to my mate? You're like, what's your name? And then they mumble the name.

1:07:12Chip:You're like, oh, what's up, bro? What's up, Corky Boucher? It's you. When I went home for Christmas Eve, someone literally, they were battered and just put their camera like there and were like, yo, we're TB and how are we going to TB? I was like, oh, can I see that? And just deleted it. It was on Snapchat. Yeah, fair, fair. Yeah, that's so, I mean, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I'd be tempted to move out in a few years, but living here, have you ever been tempted to move down to London? Very tempted, yeah. I think it's an amazing place. I look just line biking around the city. Mate, thank you. Finally, a fellow line biker.

1:07:46I can do it with people. I'm just not doing it by myself. No, no, no. I would say, yo, let's lie back. You go, I'm not fucking getting on them death traps. But you're fucked. You just run reds and shit and you just go wrong way around roundabouts.

1:07:58Chip:I don't do that. You do. Literally, last time we were on it on the way up from the pub with Harry, you just ride in front of a bus. And because I'm trying to like - He does. Because I'm trying to show off in front of the big dogs, I've got to just be like,

1:08:08Cal:I'll take it. I'm on it as well. They are good. I used to ride him a lot until that day. Oh, yeah.

1:08:13Chip:Oh, yeah. He had like a horror crash. He wrapped himself round a bollard like, no joke. It was so bad. We were hammered after a pod. And they're like, mate, let's head into town, jump on the line. And he literally wrapped himself round.

1:08:27Cal:When was this? This was a couple of years ago, a year ago. And my ribs were fucked for like a full month. So you're just traumatized from doing it. Yeah, every now and then I'll get on. Shit. Fucking hell. Fuck. Need stabilizers for that shit for me.

1:08:40Chip:All right. One thing we want to do here is rank the places you have been to, but as if they were a lads holiday. So the five options we've got. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out Clevo for cooking up this one. Clevo. Lads holiday. Oh, shit. Okay. So we've got India, the Amazon rainforest, Russia, Afghanistan, and South Sudan. Oh, pre's on the fucking India train. 91 hour pre. Yeah, I was going to say, when did the pre-send? Okay, so am I going from worst to best or best to worst? No, no, it's best is number one. So where's the number one spot the lad should head on? Russia.

1:09:21Cal:Really? Russia, because they love some beds there, don't they? Russia is completely fine. Once you get into the country, it's completely fine. But the place you went was like minus fucking 60. Minus 50 degrees, yeah. Kill the vibe. The night out there was quite good, actually. Went on a night out there. Wrestle a bear. Look, even, I'm speaking Moscow here, if you're saying, are you seeing saying your cut score Moscow regardless it would still be Russia yeah so Russia's number one great that would be a great night out I want to go back to Russia like um

1:09:48Chip:to Moscow yeah um so that'd be number one okay that's a solid I actually think yeah Russia night out lots of drinking big drinking culture there we'd have a grand time yeah yeah number two India definitely being on night in India being it was a great time uh where what was it whereabouts did you go on the night out delhi delhi okay is delhi a good good vibe they got big clubs and super close it's more like bars it's they have clubs and stuff like that um again india is the the rich port divide is massive right so it just depends where you go you can go to some great places in india so india would be a great lad's holiday genuinely if you went to the right place i wouldn't recommend delhi but if you went to the right place in india you know what i think whenever I think of India and like the people there in India.

1:10:34Chip:Have you seen them Tinder videos that the Indian YouTubers have made and it's just turned into like the toughest watch of all time. That's what I think of there. But yeah. All right. Number two there. Okay. So we've got Amazon, Afghanistan and South Sudan. It's not a great three. Shit. Okay. Now keep in mind what I will say is we're not filming any of this. So your Afghanistan problems might not exist. That's what I'm thinking. There's no like embarrassing videos of you in the morning after. You can't drink in Afghanistan. You can't drink in Afghanistan. Ooh, that's tough. South Sudan, you can drink, but you're more likely to be like killed or kidnapped.

1:11:11That's a risk you drink if you're having one. That'll chestnut, mate. Well, you tell me. I'd rather drink and get killed. I'd say South Sudan next. I would say that because we were going to go on a night out there. We were. We were going to go, but we were too, it was the last night. We were too like tired we had clubs yeah they got clubs yeah yeah they got clubs they got bars like they drink they drink a lot there then okay so we left with two here for the listeners you can bring to the amazon

1:11:42Chip:amazon and afghanistan for your number four and five afghanistan afghanistan would be next i guess he's got buildings you can do stuff there's nice scenery it wouldn't be like a a typical lads holiday in Afghanistan. You wouldn't drink. There's a black market actually in Afghanistan of alcohol. Could you go on a hike in Afghanistan? Yeah. Yeah. All right. A little hike. And the scenery is beautiful. Yeah. A little quad rod. Scenery is beautiful. Like Afghanistan would be next. And then Amazon. Comfortably last. Comfortably last. Nah, there's got to be some fucking weird. But do you not think like there's a bit, like, you know, you go camping with the boys.

1:12:22Chip:Yeah. Is this not just the ultimate camping trip with the boys? You could go glamping. glamping in the Amazon you can bring all the shit on this one it would be very hard to bring it all though like getting it into the Amazon you've got six mates carrying a big fucking teepee yeah but what about the boat the tiny boat that you've got to get on to get through the generator with a PS5 yeah yeah

1:12:42Cal:PS5 GTA 6 on the go I wonder if anyone's ever played PS5 in the Amazon actually well that that's a video keep glazing up Paul Rosalind guy but he's got a massive tree house there that you can rent on Airbnb with Starlink and it's above the it's above the forest the canopy so like yeah in the morning it's like you can hear all the monkeys like wake you up like everything wakes you up it's fucking nuts where is it? Amazon Rainforest Treehouse um Paul type in Paul yeah that's the one if you go on images exclusive jungle experience it looks fucking sick oh lord that's a starlink as well like you can fully just scroll

1:13:22Chip:little Amazon I like how that can you go back for that? potentially yeah potentially we had Starlink on the training in the Amazon which made our life a million times better yeah a week in the Amazon while we were training made having wifi I was nipped to the toilet quick you guys nah but I went to this luxury place in the Amazon yeah but do you know what I've noticed loneliest tree house in the world I feel like and I was speaking to Kai I was speaking to Kai about this you know Kai Shep yeah positive videos don't do as well yeah they want to see yeah which is annoying and I'd love to do the positive ones.

1:13:56Cal:Yeah, because they are more fun, but everyone just wants to see you in the fucking bins. Yeah, exactly. So that actually is probably not even going to... That probably wouldn't do great. That probably wouldn't do great, yeah. I reckon it's getting a mil. Yeah, potentially. What for you, if you posted a video, would be an amount of views that you'd be happy with? Happy with. Oh, it's hard. With the new thing or the old way? We don't talk about that. I'd say if it's on the main channel, at least need to be doing a mil. A mil at least. Otherwise I'd be like, fuck. I've had a couple of videos that recently, I did a train one and that did like, I don't know why it's on check, it's on 900K I think and I was just like, fuck.

1:14:34Cal:You know, it's such a good video but the thumbnail's crap and I think I just structured the video wrong. Like I spent 15, 20 minutes on like terrible trains even though it's titled Luxury Trains. You put so much effort into this. Like you edit for months and months. But like watching a video, you watch your video and you edit it yourself. No, you don't edit it yourself. No, I've got a team the boys edit but we put we put a lot of effort in the boys put a lot of effort which was the was that the one where you went with your girlfriend and went on all the different ones yes that was a great video really wholesome video yeah it was a really good video I'm surprised that hasn't hit the I'm trying to figure out what I'm next to do oh two mil on our cruise one yeah come on I'm trying to do another cruise one right now it's like loneliest cruise in Europe or the world but it goes through like the Arctic did you see that guy do like the loneliest town in America uh what was his name was it his name, Tony, Tony, Tony, American guy.

1:15:25Cal:Yeah. I think it's loneliest town. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That was a great video, but look, that's, that proves our point. Your one star cruise, 2 million views, the beautiful luxury train, 920. Oh yeah. We're talking about how like things, people want to see you. So it's the worst. Yeah. Of course. We've always,

1:15:40Chip:yeah. Yeah.

1:15:41Cal:I'm in videos like the worst teams, always the better in it. Yeah. Yeah.

1:15:44Chip:Always better. Yeah. A hundred percent. It's always, you just want to,

1:15:47Cal:this guy. Yeah. Oh, and this is this is what no, this is the guy where I got the Lonely Cruise idea from because he's done it in America. Yeah. That's insane. Yeah, that's what I was doing. His like goes through Alaska. And that thumbnail's brilliant. He's very Ryan Traum coded but his videos are good. Yeah, I've watched this guy. He's a great YouTuber. What we were saying what's like an amount of views that your video has to get to be happy? I like 700, 750. Really? I would have thought you upload your uploads quite a lot.

1:16:15Chip:Yeah, you post quite a lot. Yeah, I post once every two weeks. okay um but for me it'd be they're like there and then i can just move on like what i get like for me what i like is a baseline of a million views yeah that's like for me anything above that and they're like sweet but 750k if it's below that which i've had a couple of in like the last six months and they're like oh for fuck's sake that winds me up what about you i think 400k looks nice yeah it's a nice number especially because you post quite a lot as well yeah yeah yeah and also it's just like pull them up by the yeah when was it no i like i like looking at these these are good these are good vibes the last time i was happy was mexico it was a month ago was the last time you got a dopamine hit ai thumbnail i've ever done by the way it's because it was a race against the fellas vlog the fellas were filming it so in that's a good thought it is i was hung over in my bedroom i was like i gotta get this up before the fellas just fucking edit it and whack it up yeah 420 views come on bro yeah i switched that one to just the one of me and scared to the other day i was like nah thumbnails watch let's get the real one out there yeah what was your most viewed video ever has it hit a mil yet oh he got a mil oh let's go let's go come on harrying a thumbnail harrying a thumbnail again always works yeah Vietnam one that's a good vlog 58 minutes you mad oh yeah by the way AB and Calvary get wonky in Vietnam what a belter that is I watched your Vietnam video what was it again it was I did two trying to sign some some foods there.

1:17:44What foods was it?

1:17:45Chip:Well, there was two different ones. I think one was trying fast foods out there. It was a market. And then one, yeah, was going to the different markets. Where you ate something that you really didn't want to eat. What was that again? I think that was literally every spot ever for AB in there. Was that not slimy stew? Oh my God, yes. That guy's favorite one forced me to do it. Yeah, trying rare fast food in Vietnam. That is not me. Vietnamese food markets. It's annoying though, because you see the Vietnamese food market one, like it's, it's really difficult because to begin with, it always starts really shit.

1:18:18Chip:Yeah. Like those videos always start because there's not that many of my core audience are itching to see about Vietnam, but over time they always perform really well. I get same with the India video, bro. Yeah. Yeah. I get you. I get you. And it's a bit annoying because I, I'll be honest with you that I don't want to, I don't want to title it. British man tries Vietnamese food market. You're not like, but it does do well. Could you not like Avenue, like the title to make it more general and not have Vietnam in the title like it could be food market but then it just wouldn't really be true like it's not like the worst food markets or the cheapest like I could title it that but as soon as you click on the video it's not like I knew you need it to instantly like reaffirm what the title is which is I'm trying like the cheapest things is it the 3am one

1:19:05of course but bro it's just a brilliant pick come on bro it went off it's a good thumb now

1:19:11Cal:if you got a pack of cards on you oh i remember when you uploaded that as well

1:19:15Chip:i think yeah now we got to see these magic tricks oh my god in uh in scotland please that one which one the one oh shit oh all right so the people that don't know i i didn't realize this until I was told like you're actually just low-key just like could definitely side hustle as a magician well I always said if I ever get cancelled I'll move to a different country and just do magic on the street yeah age name magic David Lade David Lade yeah yeah oh is he as well yeah you guys know David Lade yeah yeah yeah he's pretty iconic in the whole fitness world well he's like the OG like he's the OG man he's the OG but I did magic before I knew David everyone thinks I copied David Lade oh Yeah, no, I did it before I even knew who David laid.

1:19:59So basically when I was in like year seven and eight, no social life really. Just practice magic tricks with my mate. And I'm glad I did. Because it's sick. But there was one that I showed you and you tried to learn it for like, I remember you sent me a video of you practicing it one time. Was it the coin? Yeah. It's like you have a coin there and you can make it just like pop up into this.

1:20:22Cal:Don't tell me how it works. You have to train this muscle. Oh, fucking hell. Yeah, it's like three months. Yeah. So I was like, I was doing reps while I was watching. I'm going to do it. I got it. It's like flip.

1:20:32Chip:Yeah. I couldn't get it up here. It's actually. That's crazy. Who's your favorite magician? Magic boy. David Blaine, maybe. Yeah. Have you ever done one of those like, not like cards or like dice or anything like, you know, where it's like real. Yeah. Like, you know, fuck shit. Oh yeah. No, I haven't. Prestige shit. I haven't. Yeah. I think, I don't really like those styles of tricks because it's just like a gimmick, right? It's just them. Yeah, it's not really magic. It's not the same thing, is it? Yeah, it's like when they put them into like boxes. It's just like, well, it's just scientific, the boxes are sent to me.

1:21:05Yeah. Yeah. I think Sliderfan's cooler. That's why I like David Blaine. David Blaine was the first guy who went out onto the streets with a deck of cards and did what's called street magic. So he was the first guy to do that. Sick. Which I think is cooler. Street magic. You've seen when you just whip... I'm from the streets. If you walked in, you'd be like, get a frog out of your mouth and you'd just... did you see where he like ate glass in front of jeff bezos yeah mental what's your favorite ever

1:21:29Chip:magic trick favorite ever magic trick but yeah like one that you've seen and you've gone that a guy called shin limb some crazy guy yeah fucked with cards really yeah yeah it's mental i love seeing that have you ever watched the pen and teller such a good show love that he won he won that like he did that he tricked them on it yeah unreal yeah yeah yeah because they have a show in Vegas as well you can actually go and see it the whole point the show is that you have to

1:21:58Cal:essentially and they they try and dissect your trip but if they can't you wait have you seen it so Penn and Teller really two of the most famous magicians on the planet they have a show in Vegas where magicians go on they show a trick and Penn and Teller need to work out how they do it okay but it's very hard to fool them because they've been in the magic world for so long basically Yes, if you fool them, like you're the one. You're the one. Exactly. Not many fool them. I went to a magic show in Vegas once, right? But it wasn't like a really good one. And the guy's main trick, the dog was injured, so he couldn't do it.

1:22:33Cal:So what he did was he pulled a projector down. Gave it BPC. And he showed a video of the trick being done. No way. Yeah. And I remember watching it like, oh, shit. But you know he just does that every show, right? Probably, man. Probably. Probably. Just that dog stealing. What's out of the place that I ain't got my money. Did he get a good reaction? No. It went down like a level. Yeah, sure you could get your money back for that, right? Yeah, I felt pretty good. Just showing a video of him doing Well, then I was like, oh, poor, no, because he wheeled the dog out and he's like, look, limping. Look, it's fucked.

1:23:04Cal:Yeah. Still take your money.

1:23:06Chip:So you don't want to like. Two foot in the dog on stage. Yeah, sorry about him. He's got his little magic hat

1:23:10Cal:with the tips at the end and you don't want to not tip a dog. Oh, yeah, because then you have dog guilt. yeah exactly

1:23:16Chip:limping around the hat

1:23:17Cal:like chip chip yeah I know I hear that

1:23:20Chip:alright anyways look Joe it's been an absolute pleasure having you on today appreciate you we've had a fucking belt in episode here and yeah thank you very much for watching if you haven't already I mean he's told a bunch of the stories but go check out his YouTube channel one of my favorite YouTubers at the moment so make sure you go and give him a watch especially if you need a break from Chippo's fucking brain rock content we'll see you guys in a little bit

1:23:40Cal:bye bye see you later