In short
Tottenham’s relegation battle after a poor league run, plus personal “I’m fucked” stories and debate over squad construction, tactics, and refereeing.
Guests/backgrounds
The episode is hosted by three Spurs fans (Sean, John, and Flav). They discuss football as supporters and share personal anecdotes: one guest had an STI scare before marriage; another claims a hernia operation may have reduced his penis size; another recounts a near-drowning in Ireland as a child.
Key claims
The hosts argue Tottenham’s problem isn’t just “bad players” but a lack of coherent team structure—players don’t fit a system, injuries force incompatible lineups, and the club lacks key profiles (especially wingers and a target-man). They also claim refereeing decisions (penalty/no-penalty calls and card incidents) have contributed to the season’s points deficit.
Notable examples
A moment in a match where a clearance goes “up in the air” into midfield triggers “we’re fucked” thoughts; Richarlison’s inability to shoot is contrasted with Solanke/Brobby; Romero’s injury is tied to Brobby’s collision; a disputed penalty appeal involving Muwani is debated; Sunderland’s “systematic” play is used as a comparison.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOReflections on a Disappointing Game
0:45 to 1:30
Discussion about a troubling moment in a recent football game highlighting the team's struggles.
“he's just put his foot through it and it's gone up in the air and landed in the middle of midfield, which is like the complete opposite of quality.”
Personal Revelations and Health Scares
1:30 to 4:30
A personal story about a health scare related to an STD that prompts a discussion on communication and fears.
“If you've got anything that can add a bit of levity.”
Humorous Takes on Health and Surgery
4:30 to 7:50
Light-hearted banter about surgeries and unexpected outcomes, including humorous anecdotes about masculinity.
“Yeah, mine was, after I had my hernia operation, I looked at my cock and it was definitely smaller.”
Facing the Reality of Relegation
7:50 to 13:20
A deep dive into the potential relegation of their football team and the emotional impact it has on fans.
“So that's how I felt when Udoggy skied that clearance.”
The Unpredictability of Football
13:20 to 14:00
Discussion on how the nature of football can change rapidly, with examples from recent matches and seasons.
The Unpredictability of the Premier League
14:00 to 18:19
Discussing the unpredictable nature of Premier League outcomes and team performances.
“And because I'm in that camp, it means that if we do stay up, I'll be like, I reckon I'll actually be more ecstatic than other people.”
Analyzing Striker Performances and Team Dynamics
18:20 to 24:18
A deep dive into striker roles, team dynamics, and the importance of player selection.
“I can't remember how to pronounce his name.”
Assessing Squad Composition and Management Issues
24:19 to 28:00
Examining the squad's composition and management challenges facing the team.
“You know, 18 months ago, we'd never heard of this either.”
Analyzing Tottenham's Team Dynamics
28:00 to 29:10
Discussion on the current issues facing Tottenham's squad and management.
Evaluating Young Talent: Bergwijn and Gray
29:10 to 31:20
Exploration of young players' performances and their suitability for the team.
Show all 20 chapters
The Pressure on Young Players
31:20 to 34:45
Discussion on the impact of pressure and expectations on young players in the squad.
“But, like, you know, you look at, like, Max Dowman at the minute as well, for example, you know, they kind of, they get looked after.”
Referee Decisions and Controversies
34:45 to 38:00
Debate on specific refereeing decisions and perceived bias against Tottenham.
“They've not prepared this squad properly.”
Questioning Penalty Decisions
38:00 to 42:00
In-depth analysis on a specific penalty decision and its implications.
“Because if you are, that changes football quite drastically for me.”
Referee Decisions and Controversies Explained
42:00 to 44:50
Explore the controversial decisions made by referees during the match.
“Just one last point in this, you know the one Romero got booked for?”
Frustrations of a Spurs Fan
46:10 to 48:20
Discussion on the current struggles of Tottenham Hotspur and its impact on fans.
“It's anywhere from like 800 quid up to fucking 40, 50 grand in that stadium.”
The Future of Tottenham Hotspur
48:20 to 53:10
Analyze the potential future of Tottenham, including possible relegation.
“I'm just, I just don't, I don't feel like I believe in anything anymore.”
Hopes for Upcoming Matches
53:10 to 56:00
Discussing the team's prospects in upcoming games and the need for improvement.
“because it's probably the biggest of his career.”
Frustration and Despair of Spurs Fans
56:00 to 56:49
Listeners will understand the deep frustration fans feel about their team's performance.
“Show us, just win a fucking game of football.”
Analysis of Team Selection and Injuries
56:50 to 58:08
Discussion on the coach's decisions and the impact of injuries on the team's options.
“And the thing is, I don't, aside from a few selection choices, like not starting with Tell for me was a bit of an odd one and not getting on Xavi Simmonds a bit sooner.”
Introducing 'Two Gies and a Pod' Podcast
58:09 to 58:44
Listeners will learn about the new podcast focused on Tottenham and lad culture.
“But given more time on the training ground, he'll have learned a lot from this first game.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00This podcast is part of the Sports Social Podcast Network. It's the fighting It's the fighting Cock It's the fighting It's the fighting Cock There was a moment in that game yesterday, boys, which caused me to really sort of figure out and understand exactly where we're at and how bad it is. And it was when I think it fell to a doggy on the left-hand side. It was a bit of a sort of bouncy ball and he's, I don't know why, he's just put his foot through it and it's gone up in the air and landed in the middle of midfield, which is like the complete opposite of quality. And it just led me to think like in that moment, I said to my dad, I think we're fucked.
1:00it wasn't like that in in any other for any other team who isn't involved in a a relegation dog fight that's just a moment that happens sometimes your player does something that's not considered to be a premium quality but for us at that moment i was like dad i think we're fucked and i just i just it got me thinking um what what moments outside of football boys have you thought I am fucked here. I don't want to go dark just in case there isn't any dark moments in your life. If you've got anything that can add a bit of levity. This isn't dark, but it's quite personal, so you have to be gentle with me when I tell you this story.
1:40I might have said this on the pod before, I can't really remember, but it was a few years ago. It was just before I was getting married and I was just noticing a slight change, and men don't talk about their bodies very much was a slight change in my penis okay mine's about my penis as well weirdly that is weird so so i i basically just noticed that like when i was pissing it was like quite quite cloudy and there was sort of like when i wasn't pissing i'd get this like sort of disgusting like little dischargey stuff right this is quite gross i appreciate but i'm just sharing i mean i think it's gonorrhea mate yeah well this is it right so suddenly i'm like fuck what i can't i can't have an sdi like because if i do one how do i explain that's my missus either a she's gone well you've definitely been cheating yeah that's a go-to which would make total sense right two i have to go total sense because because what else could it possibly be all right not that you had been cheating no no no this is the problem right i haven't been cheating so now i'm like but this looks fucking bad so what happens now like i'm fucked because how do i explain my way out of this i what do i do right so i'm like you blame her obviously well yes so this was you know all these things are going through my head i was thinking like john you've never you never said this at the time because i went to your wedding right so i know we we were we're close john so you never you did you went through this on your own so then i was like i don't know what to do and then i thought well i haven't cheated so i'll just tell her what's going on so i was like right i've i've got um i've got this problem like something's up i don't know what it is she's like oh yeah it might just be like you know some sort of uh misalignment with your ph levels right and i was thinking yeah yeah it's definitely that it will definitely be that so then i was like right she's just like she was just really calm but she's like just go to the doctor and like they'll do a test so i went to the gp and then they they give you basically like this little kit to test stuff so they tested my water levels like nah that's all fine i was like fuck no what is this like what is this thing uh so then we're going to give you an sdi test like we'll give you like this thing so we can test them all and we can see what's going on just to rule them out.
3:49And I'm thinking, okay, yeah. And then I'm like Googling online, like how long ago could I have contracted an SDI? Oh, that's the point. But the thing is, they can lay dormant forever. But who the fuck is going to believe that? That like, oh yeah, seven years ago, before we met, that's when I got it. No, that is true. It could happen. Mate, 100 % can happen, right? So then I was like, okay, but please don't be that because then I'm going to have to have this conversation sitting down with my other time like fiance to go oh yeah you know you said it was my ph levels no my dick's absolutely riddled with gonorrhea um and now you definitely got it as well so so i remember distinctly coming back from spurs and i was getting the overground and i was standing there it was like it was raining and they were telling me that they would give me the results of the test like the next day and i remember just standing on this like train platform and it was just chucking it down with rain i was sitting there thinking if if they like send me this message before i get home what am i gonna do like i am fucked here like there's no way around it what if it's like something really bad and i've like completely fucking ruined my life here and there's nothing i can do about it i thankfully i get the message comes through that just says like lists out basically everything and it was literally just like i was scrolling through one by one going gonorrhea negative yes good that's good fomidia negative that's good yeah yeah AIDS negative yeah yeah that's good yeah and just got a clean bill of health and then so I think because you're so big and your balls must be big there was just loads of cum everywhere all like excess cum yeah you got too much cum basically yeah so it and it just went it just went away unlike the impending doom of relegation it just went away on its own so I I don't know what I don't know what happens in the next you know, month or so, then our impending doom could just go away.
5:41That would be great. Yeah, mine was, after I had my hernia operation, I looked at my cock and it was definitely smaller. It's still smaller. And you reckon they removed a little bit on your under? they just didn't, I don't even meant to do it. Like, what kind of psychopath would do that? Like, I'm going for a hernia and I'm like, do you know what? He's cocked too big. I'm going to take some. And it was never too big. Like, I would say five and a half inches, six, if I'm lucky. If I'd, if I'd, it doesn't matter if what would happen, if there was any kind of blue pill involved. The fact is, they've definitely taken some of my cock.
6:15But what can I do? Can I go into the place? Like, it's not even, it's a clinic. It's a small clinic in a small village of town where I live. If I go in there shouting the odds, you've taken some of my cock. That's going to make the local news. Can you imagine it's like, you know, when, what was that old boy who just was like bumping off all the old people? Shipman. Shipman. You know, like eventually the families, like figured it out like somewhere in the local area there's like loads of blokes who are all separately going i'm sure they've taken a bit of my cock off they've definitely cut a bit no no yeah once you all get together class action lawsuit i was we don't have them in the uk class action unfortunately it's a funny thing to say though isn't it no but the bloke the bloke the bloke who done my ernia up was like the bollocks apparently like absolutely he's like my my This makes it even worse.
7:04My mother-in-law works at the clinic where it happened, where they took some of my cock. And she said, he is the best. And I wonder, like, when you're the best at something, you need to add something else to your life to keep you. That's why all these blokes shit on birds in Dubai, because they've got so much money that they've got to do something else. I think my surgeon, who apparently is the best in the world, he takes inches off men's cocks. Yeah, but the other bit you missed out, Flav, is he adds it to his own cock, which is why everyone thinks he's the best because he's given him an absolute portion of his massive mega cock that he's created from other people's bits of flesh.
7:42And he's done it so many times. He only takes a small amount so that it's like there's always a little bit of room for doubt, but he's just building up this mega cock that he's unleashing on the world. So that's how I felt when Udoggy skied that clearance. Sean, hello, mate. Sorry. i was just listening i was wondering if i'd had a trim at some stage anything wrong with your cock sean i don't know as i say no no not many complaints or customers so yeah that's the same for all of us right no that's it no my one was um was a was a near-death experience i went over to I went over to Ireland when I was a kid and somewhere south of Ireland we were like jumping in the sea off the rocks and it was like my cousin who was a bit of a daredevil kind of led the way and me and my brothers jumped in and my dad was like don't jump in off those rocks like you know this is a lively sea and it's just like in we've gone, jumped in swam out, jumped in, swam out maybe ten times jumped in and swim out and then this one time i'm swimming and i just couldn't get out and all was going through my head onto the rocks yeah i'm in the sea i'm being i'm being basically like as much as i'm swimming i'm just not moving anywhere and if i slow down i'm gonna get sucked out and you get crashed into these waves and all that's going through my head is my dad told me not to come in here and i'm gonna get and run now he's gonna watch his son drown yeah and it's like so he's over the he was a bit far away from where we were and he's come running over and there wasn't really much he could do to help so he's sort of like hanging over the edge of the the rock and dangling a leg down and i remember i've grabbed onto his ankle and by this stage i am like being crashed into these rocks really badly they're hitting me and he's like climb up but as i'm putting my legs against the rock what's underneath is all worn away and it's like barnacles if you can even touch anything and i'm like i can't i'm like and i'm just looking up so at this age i was probably like 13 but like my cousin was up on the top who was like eight i remember him crying and he's crying he's going sean's gonna die shut up you little mug
10:28don't need your weak energy right now if i ever get hold of you you're getting dashed in the sea and then eventually i just got to the stage where i'd given up i was like i am fucked i'm i'm gone can i just carry up with a saying if it's a miserable story then leave it is what i said to you well i remember it just pulling out and it pulled out so far that i could see like the undercarriage of the rock so i knew i'd come back and i and then it just threw me forward like because i'd let go of my dad's leg by this stage it threw me forward just enough that the top half of my upper body was like enough on the rock that my dad dragged me while barnacles up the uh my ribs and yeah and i was just imagine imagine sean if you if you had perished on that day on the sort of south coast of Ireland.
11:30We'd never have got that bar. Sean, do the bar. I jammed up in a box like Mr. Kipling.
11:42Legendary. How are you boys taking... I don't know what this is anymore. It's become very real. almost as real as Sean dying but he didn't die and the thing is while we have this sort of sinking feeling and I kind of walked away from the game with a, I felt like there was kind of, we inevitably were going to lose that game and then we did and then you start having to think about the remaining games left and what does Erby can do, can he be Sean's dad and jump in and save us or are we genuinely having to look at what life in the championship might be like it's been around 24 hours since final whistle and I just don't know John maybe it will be like that and I've spent so long mugging James Alcott off about being a teeny tiny football club that has to play in the championship and now I have to confront I'm going to be, I can't spin this any other way.
12:55One of the most humbled human beings on earth if this happens. Well, yeah. I mean, we all will be, won't we? We've had the Premier League privilege for basically, well, our whole lives. So we don't know any different. And also, we haven't, although like last season we finished 17th, it's not like we've had this sort of like steady decline. It's actually happened kind of quickly, like on the surface. this we've seen issues for years right the sort of under investment in the right type of players and all that kind of stuff but like the season before we finished 17th i think we finished six didn't we or fifth fifth i think so we've gone basically from fifth to relegated and in like a season and nearly two seasons basically a season and a bit that is just crazy like no no one can prepare for that right it's just app come out of complete nowhere and yeah look i'm not ready to accept it yet because we still can stay up i'm also seeing absolutely nothing that makes me think that it will happen but yeah i just can't i'm there'll be plenty of time to accept it and look forward and figure stuff out uh if it happens but the one thing that you can always guarantee in the Premier League and the one thing I always bang on about like storylines and the drama and stuff is it's never as it seems right like there's always twists there's always turns things that aren't supposed to happen just happen like even two months ago Arsenal were miles away at the top of the league and everyone's like oh they won it and now it's like oh they might bottle it because things change things just weird things happen and stuff comes out of nowhere how many years in the relegation battles have you seen like teams you know especially when it's tight it sort of changes game you know game week to game week and stuff gets pulled in like we were however million points ahead of west ham before we played them and you'd have been like they're done but now things have completely changed around now i know that that doesn't leave you much time but it still can happen so i'm just not prepared as annoyed as i am and you know i'll also be able to accept it if it does happen at the minute i'm just like i'm really trying not to think about it if I'm honest, mate, because, yeah, there's plenty of time for that if it happens.
15:17We staying up? You. Are we staying up, Sean? We're not staying up, mate.
15:28It's one of them. And because I'm in that camp, it means that if we do stay up, I'll be like, I reckon I'll actually be more ecstatic than other people. Do you genuinely believe that we're going down? I don't think it's close, mate. I don't even think it's close. I think we're, by the time we get to that last game of the season, we're playing Everton, it means nothing. We're already gone. Oh, God. I think we're gone before Chelsea. Honestly, like that's, you know, I could come on here and like waffle, but I think we're gone before Chelsea. Waffle, waffle a little bit and then say that. Well, I mean, it's one of them.
16:12Look, we've got Brighton next. I don't think that's the one to look for any points. They've won four out of the last five in the Premier League. Yeah. But is there not a world where the Zerbi gets hold of this squad a little bit? Like, I did see stuff in that game. I wanted to ask you questions about that. Like, we saw stuff that I don't think we... Maybe I'm looking for it and it was always there and I'm only now acknowledging it because it suits something that helps me exist in this world for a little bit longer. But I saw stuff in the game. There were two opportunities for Charleston to do so much better than he did.
16:47Solanke had a couple of chances quite close to the goal.
16:55Surely De Zerbe can do more than... And you can't judge him by that game. But surely, there's something that can happen. No, surely. The problem is with Richarlison. He can't shoot. It shouldn't be on the pitch, I think, in that instance. Play him up top, but off the left. Yeah, even the goal he got at Anfield was off his ankle. He needs to be a nine. He hasn't got anything else in his locker. That's one thing that you've got, is if you've got him plonked right in the middle of the box, he has way more of a knack than Solanke of the ball just falling to his feet and him popping it away. Selenki, I think if you kind of analyse the two players, has got more to his game and he'll end up at a higher club than Richarlison will.
17:51But Richarlison in this moment should be the nine. He should be the one in there because he's most likely to actually score a goal. So if people don't know, we've got a Patreon and as close to full time, I'll do like a reaction. And me and Cal were jumped on after pretty much 10 minutes after full time went. And I got a fair amount of kickback on my admiration for Brian Broby or Broby. I can't remember how to pronounce his name. And I think it's fair because people were frustrated. He was involved in the collision, the push on Romero that has now ruled him out for the season, which we have to talk about.
18:36But I was thinking about the efficacy of his play compared to Solanke's. And he just, like, I get that he probably should have been sent off, but that's a refereeing issue, right? The fact that he made himself constantly a problem for us would be something that, if you could swap the two strikers right now, you probably would. You really, and like I said, I've got a fair amount of kickback of it because it's from a frustration. because he did, he probably should have been sent off. He at least made three challenges that could be regarded as yellow card challenges. But I just thought what he did on the pitch, he got the ball, he couldn't get off him, he held it off, he mused his back.
19:18And regardless of whether or not you think he was fair in the way that he played, when we're in a relegation dogfight that we are in, that's the kind of energy you want. Somebody who's getting stuck in, who's making problems, who's causing mayhem in the back four. And that's what he did. And Solanke was almost non-existent. He might as well not have played at times. I just think that's the difference. If we had someone like that who could just think, I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks this is what I'm doing, would probably serve us better. He's a player who's tailor-made to play in a relegation scrap.
19:58a scrap like you know we saw people players in the past like kevin davis or whatever that sort of type of guy that you don't need to play the ball up the park he's he kind of rewards that route one kind of football you get up there you can like find yourself in position possession in and around their box in through that kind of means of playing so lanky's a better player than Broby but it's one where he relies on having good players around him who will get the ball into him in a way that he he can consistently get goals from and and so you will see Solanke and you have seen him in his career score like 15 so goals because he's he's got that ability like Broby like won't ever score goals like that like he's but in the situation that you're in now, you'd rather have him or Mateta or someone like that who will just battle up there.
20:59I was sort of saying Richarlison, but in terms of being able to actually battle, it probably would be Mouane, who has not got the qualities to play wide right or wide left. When he has actually played nine for us, when he's played against Arsenal, PSG, you know, like Atletico, he's actually been a bit of a handful at times like so i just this idea of going in and playing with like three nines up top it's just it's no surprise tell tell richardson and then well i would say midweek fan event up top like i saw that actually you got a new podcast called two geezers in the pod yeah yeah with billy t yeah so but it was you know that was it was half tongue in cheek but it's like it i definitely saw two minutes into that game the ball fizzed out towards richarlison where it's 10 yards in front of him and i was like van de ven would be in on goal he would be in on goal and probably score it and it's one of those ones where it can't be worse like obviously now we got romero injured so it's like you can't even joke about it but yeah I mean it's not it's not just injured he's he's out now for him he could well have played his last game for Tottenham probably has played his last game for Tottenham yeah John did you want to say anything about what we just said because yeah yeah I actually think we've uncovered something here which is at the crux of like one of the main issues that we are potentially going to go down because I hear a lot when people talk about this is the worst Spurs team I've seen or this is the worst team in the league but they're not a team I think that's the main the main issue because if you look like we've just done there, you go Brian Brobby and you look at him on a one-to-one basis against Solanke, Mouane, I'm not sure many managers, given the choice between those players, pick Brian Brobby.
22:59And it's the same if you go through their entire team, Sunday's entire team, player for player, you wouldn't pick their players over ours. But they've assembled a team. They've assembled players to play a certain way that fit their system and fit the way that they play. And we haven't. We have got a load of just random players that don't fit any system. We can't dig in and defend because our defenders are like more ball playing and attacking. We can't play it long because we don't have a Brian Brobby, Mateta type like big target man up front. So we can't play that way of playing. We don't have enough technical players to play like a possession based type of play.
23:37We don't have any wingers and I know there's obviously some injury issues there, which is fair enough. but like there is no there is actually no like cohesive way to play which is why teams like West Ham it's the same sort of thing if you go through their squad you know maybe aside from sort of like Jared Bowen there aren't many players you take on an individual basis but they are playing like a team and we are just playing like a bunch of individuals who don't know what they're doing and I do think that's like the crux of where we're at with this issue is that we've got to a point where we basically have assembled a squad full of players that just do not play together they're not a team and that is i think one of the main reasons that we're in this mess and that's why i have some sympathy for managers yeah they could be a team with the right time and management though you could get these aren't bad players they're they're players that could like like you look at what what i thought about sunderland's performance and i was really impressed with them was they've got a manager, and this goes into sort of stupidity of our opinions, really, is you've got a manager that no one's ever heard of.
24:40You know, 18 months ago, we'd never heard of this either. I didn't even know he existed before he started this season. And every time they got the ball, they just found a way of getting it into a dangerous position. It was slow, it was methodical, but it was deliberate. You've got some really, really good players like Xhaka and Brobby who you could utilize. But overall, there was this kind of systematic approach to getting the ball forward that looked well coached and we just couldn't cope with. And when you look at how we were building LP, it was very chaotic and different to what they were doing.
25:26comes with, you know, 18 months, two years worth of coaching. And that's what the Zerbi and the other managers haven't been able to, or haven't had the opportunity to add. I don't think our squad man for man is a team that should be currently sitting 18th in the league, but it is where it's at. Yeah, that's the issue though. There's no coherent way to manage this team. And this is my point. It's like, I know that there are injuries, but yes, time. but the problem is the time is required to bring players back who are injured. If you basically had this squad, right, and there are no players coming back, so there's no Kudus, there's no Kuziski, there's no Madison, which is what we've had.
26:08This team's getting relegated every season because they're not a team. There is no right winger. There hasn't been all season, basically. There's no real left winger. We had Son, one of the greatest players to ever play for the club, and we replaced him with what? Odebeer or Tell like that is mental drop-off. Solanke, Richarlison and Mouane are three different completely different strikers from each other so if one gets injured you have to change the way you're playing. How is that coherent? We've got like midfielders who are all sort of basically the same type but none of them can play together which is just ridiculous.
26:47You've got no fullback cover on one side unless you play Spence on both sides so that means one never gets rotated which is Porro who gets run into the ground like the whole thing's just a mess like it's a complete mess and you have Romero and Van de Ven who are like supposedly ball-playing centre-backs but if they get injured you've got Dragasin who's not a ball-playing centre-back in any way shape or form he's a head at kick it centre-back and Kevin Danso's a head at kick it centre-back who's a much better version of dragerson so the whole thing is just complete nonsense like the squad is so horrendous and i do think it's sort of yeah the reason that we're in this situation is like yes thomas frank is accountable for a set like a big chunk of it and all the rest of it but the group of players is so badly put together that this was going to always happen and if again if you take those injuries away we are a team full of shit players basically i'm um as you were speaking there John I'm looking at a picture of Langer Vivian and Vinay very frumpy you know in in their their box or you know the area or the stand where chairmen's and you know daughters of owners sit and Langer and sporting directors that seemingly don't have a clue like what what do you think near future holds sean like you've got vivian lewis you got v9 and you got langer there and i saw michael michael dawson was sat with him as well wasn't he can he get it as well is he is it like you can get it as well can he be that angry we're going after michael dawson i was more thinking from the point of view of like so he's actually sat and spoke with him and he's someone whose um opinions mine and lying with a little bit more and i'm just sort of thinking like you know what kind of chat was he having with him but um say this michael say this michael like like langer's langer will be gone um deserve he will have a man you know that all the sort of align with him you would think but nothing is ever really logical here in terms of vignette like in terms of what his actual role is i don't know enough about it to be honest and like he's he's he has been here for like five minutes and it's hard to really know but he might be gone as well but i don't know but it's what john was sort of saying like those gaping holes that we've got in the team have been there for ages like everyone sort of saw when when ang was there that like you know we needed wide players and we just that could actually commit a commit a defender and like and beat him and they just never signed him and we just you know we played with jed spence as a left back for large periods where he's of all fullbacks i've ever seen he's got to be one of the least compatible with playing on the left hand side any sort of qualities that jed spence has got play him on the right like and you and you and you might get a tune out of him but on the left it's just it's just going to contribute to why we can't keep the ball for more than two or three passes because instantly he's going to probably receive the ball off of vicario who isn't too confident on the ball himself he'll pop it out to spence spence looks up he's his pass isn't going to be great and he's going into a midfield where like at a minute a midfield is so young like obviously we've got no choice but to play him but you know when you when you're meant to have like a spine of experienced players that are going to drag you through this kind of situation playing with like sar grey like grey obviously i'm not never gonna like knock him but as i say like bergval in there and it's just what it's just a recipe for getting like dominated yeah can i just ask i mean i'm not saying he isn't good or he isn't like he doesn't have something about him he clearly does because he's he's a swedish national player he is transitioned from swedish domestic football to the premier league and he's played consistent minutes i can't see a lot certainly in in playing for spurs in the first team what baraval is good at and i'm hesitating it but what what what what is it i know we i know we rave about him but what what what what is it that we rave about what what is he really really good at like what's his best position where should he be playing because i can't i think what he's what he's got that's good is is kind of similar to what chavi simmons has got that's good where it's just that he's one of those flowing midfielders who's like who's always moving he's always looking for a sort of positive passes forward but both of them are just suffering Like, both of them are not cut out for the situation that we're actually in.
31:56What Bergwahl could do with his being in a situation where, like, the way that a Cesc Fabregas came in or someone like that, where you're coming into, like, a settled team that can, you know, you'll come on for 20 minutes at the end of a game and everyone's kind of looking out for you. But, like, you know, you look at, like, Max Dowman at the minute as well, for example, you know, they kind of, they get looked after. And it's like, it's not just the fans start asking for these players to play. Oh yeah, play them every week, play them every week. But they don't start because you kind of ease them in.
32:34These players have not been afforded that luxury. And I think some of like the great young players of the past, if they were forced to play in this disjointed team, in the situation that we're in, and they're playing week in, week out, even if they get a bit of a knock to their confidence, they've just got to keep playing because there's no choice. You can say it could make them tougher in the long term, that's to be seen, but it damages them at the beginning because they're obviously going to have flaws and he makes mistakes all the time. That's what young players do. I think he's got a lot of potential, but he shouldn't be starting for a Premier League team on a week in, week out.
33:16He's not that special. Yeah, I agree with that. And just to follow up on that point, I think this is the difference between him and Gray. Gray is special. Gray can play every week in the Premier League. He's basically been our best player now for the last few months. And yeah, you can say, oh, he's the best player on the team that's going to get himself relegated, fine. But he looks like a proper Premier League player. And again, he's another one who shouldn't be starting. He shouldn't be. But he can actually come out of this season with some credit because he's actually looked like actually a decent player.
33:48the difference with him and Bergvot is like Gray is just ahead of him he's just at this moment in time he's a much better player than Bergvot but Bergvot is really talented and to Sean's point we're just we're just wasting these players by basically having been forced to play play them in to a certain extent it's like Tell like I feel like Tell's a really exciting prospect who because we don't have a starting left wing superstar who would be playing most games that Taylor would come on for the last 10 minutes, we're sort of judging him, being like, he needs to be like Son. He needs to score every week.
34:24He needs to score bangers. And it's like, if we had, you know, Prime, Son, and another senior left winger, and he was like the third choice that would come in the odd cup game and come on as sub every now and again and do what he's been doing and beating a few players and getting some shots away and hitting the bar, we'd be like, this kid's going to be amazing. But we're relying on these young players and they're just not ready. And again, that is the club. They've not prepared this squad properly. Do you think there's any world where there is a sort of refereeing conspiracy against Spurs? Because we do...
34:54Well, John's nodding vigorously. You think there's a conspiracy against Tottenham? Yeah, you know I believe all conspiracies. Like, even if they contradict each other. Moon landing? Yeah, fake. 100 % thing. Flat Earth? Yeah, it's real and also simultaneously not real. So, yeah, I believe both. All right. So, like, because that... It was a horrendous performance. It really was. This is going to be controversial. But I don't think, while the injury was significant to Romero, and it's probably ruled him out for the rest of the season, but maybe the World Cup. I also think these fucking tears were about the World Cup and nothing to do with Spurs, because there were no tears when he went through Casemiro and got four games sent off.
35:40I don't know.
35:44It's not the right time to talk about this, I guess. But anyway, Broby, you could argue that he got sent off. There was a moment where Mwani broke and the ball was kicked onto his fucking face. And the referee went, no, it was a handball. And you're like, what is going on here? There are a couple of other moments as well. I think Broby's challenge on Romero in the first half was a yellow card. Then he got another yellow card, which meant he should have been sent off. so if the referee's not going to help us then i mean that those that's what i'm talking about is like having like with broby's impact on the game whether we hate him or not it doesn't matter he's like he's doing what he needs to do for his side and it's up to the referees to make sure that those things are punished and um they weren't and he just got it wrong over he just looked like a fucking idiot bouncing around with black top on you know throwing his yellow cards around poro got yellow card if it's sent van de ven got yellow carded for a sort of it was a kind of a weak chat it was barely a yellow card it wasn't a foul it wasn't it was barely a foul yeah it was just a joke it's just but i don't i don't want to i don't want to come across as a fan goes yeah the referees are against us because i hate it when liverpool fans do it i hate it when last fans do it I don't want to do it as well but that was horrendous and it's not for the first time a season yeah but the the difference I think between and I don't want to speak for you two but I think the difference between generally how I feel about it is we still deserve to lose the game I've got no issue with that we still deserve to be where we are in the league I think we deserve to draw that game I think well fair but what I'm saying is like the reason that we're in this position the the vast majority is because of how bad we are but you can't ignore the fact that we haven't had a penalty all season you can't ignore that one week where kodamowani was judged to like push a defender and then literally the next game it was gabriel yeah yeah literally the next game we can see the goal and they're just like yeah nah i can't ignore the fact that like our players commit less fouls before they get booked than like the rest of the league like those things you just can't ignore them and again i'm not going to say oh well look if we got this and that decision we'd have won those games like you can never know that but it is certainly contributing it doesn't help if you're shit and you've also got like bad refereeing decisions consistently over the season it doesn't help you like the penalty decision i understand why people are like oh well you know the ball was the ball was gone and he was going over so just to be clear if i'm running into the penalty area and i kick the ball too far in front of me it's gonna go off and i slide over and someone just comes running over and two foots me in the face that's not a penalty because that's the justification is that well he was going over anyway yeah but then he fucking clattered into him and he was nowhere near the ball that's a foul I was saying it wasn't a penalty why is it not a penalty explain to me so I can just to be clear I can go into the box the ball gets clipped away so I can't I'm not going to reach it and you can just come in and two foot me and take me out can you that's fine that's not what happened what happened then because I saw a player go in with the ball the ball gets like moved in front of him he's going over because the other player sort of got in front of him and then another random player just comes in and slides into his legs what is that?
39:13that's a foul isn't it? if that happened against Spurs we'd be fuming don't care don't care yeah but that's not you can't say whatever you've just said and said if it doesn't if it happens against Spurs so you don't care I don't care because at this moment in time that's not a real thing it happened to us somebody justify how that isn't a foul because I keep hearing oh it's not a foul well he slid into him I mean, he didn't take the ball. So are you allowed to do that? Because if you are, that changes football quite drastically for me. I've seen many times when a player's run into the box and the ball's gone out and the keeper's fucking flat on someone after the ball's gone.
39:47And you're like, well, the ball's gone. Yeah, no, I get that point. And they give him a penalty. So what's the difference? I get the point in terms of like, if there is some sort of aggressive challenge that's happened, even if the ball's not near, why isn't that considered to be a foul when it would be anywhere else? I do understand that. But I think in that moment, that isn't what we're talking about. That's not what happened. He took the ball. He carried it. He was arguably out of control. His right foot hits the foot of the Sunderland player. And then as he was going over, another geezer comes across.
40:20Yeah, and classes into him. What's that? It hasn't stopped him. It doesn't matter. So you can just clatter into people in the box. That's not allowed. That's why it's not a penalty, isn't it? So again, just to be clear, I can just clatter into someone then? No. but then how can it not be a penalty this is my point Sean was it a penalty it's a play and penalty I don't know how it's not a penalty to be honest I was saying I was saying the same same thing that John was saying like it's it's like when Harry Kane got the penalty in the Euros when the ball was gone it's like if if they make that contact with you like it's I know it sounds stupid and I know by the way I saw it straight away it was like they're not going to give this in a million years because I know that if a player's looking to buy it and if he initiates contact they will just say no to that straight away but where this one was slightly different is what John was saying like so Mawani is is trying to buy this foul that's on his right and he's going and then that 09 just comes flying in from the other side with a really clumsy challenge and clatters into his legs like I think if you look at that challenge in isolation and you ignore the rest of it, which was a different scenario between two other players, he's taken his legs out.
41:40And I don't think that whether he's on his way down, he's not trying to buy one off O9. O9 has come and taken him out. So I think that that's, I knew they wouldn't give it because I know I just see enough of them and you understand it. But I think if you had a ref and pressed them on that, just the 09 contact they haven't got a leg to stand on like Mulani
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42:11if it was roles reversed would you have thrown your hands up and gone yeah fair enough that's a penalty if it was roles reversed and that was Romero that came clattering in I guarantee one they would have given the penalty and I would have said Romero you're an idiot what the hell are you doing there was no need for you to dive in and i would have felt hard done by but i still would have been directing my annoyance at romero for being clumsy you know if it was and this is where it comes into conspiracies but if it was romero doing that they'd be sat there at stockley park looking at that and going oh but romero does he have to jump and they'd be having exactly the conversation that we're now having and going well look have a look at that and they would have given the penalty and i genuinely think they would have done.
42:58Just one last point in this, you know the one Romero got booked for? The one where he, like, the ball was getting played into Brobby's feet and he, like, stretches across, takes a bit of Brobby and wins the ball. That's less contact than what happened to Mourinho in the box. That's less contact on Brobby. So how is that? I did, I thought that was the yellow card. Nah, not in a million years. Am I out? Am I, have I got this completely wrong? Because I felt like, I felt like I had it right, but now maybe I haven't. Because you guys, The Brobby elbow, I don't think that was an elbow. So just for balance, people go, that's a straight red.
43:32When I first saw it, I thought he was elbowing it. It wasn't a straight red. Nothing happened. Nothing happened at all. So just for balance, this isn't me being like, every decision was wrong. I actually think the ref got that one right. He was overly aggressive and pushed him. That's why he got booked. That's fine. So I'm not even saying he should have been sent off for that. I think there were other moments that were like multiple yellows that he could have been booked for. But that's my point. The Romero one, he definitely makes contact with Brobby. and then wins the ball. That was less contact with Brobby than a nine flying in and smashing into him.
44:04The fact that the ball wasn't there, I'm the same as Sean. I knew they weren't going to give it as soon as I saw the replay. But when I was watching it back, they just kept ignoring the fact that he'd just flown into him. And this is what I mean is, if you can tell me why that isn't a penalty. Well, their description was that he was already over. He was already going down. Fine. So this is what I'm saying. so if you're already going down you can just do whatever to that player if that's the theory as long as it's not violent contact you can yes because it's not impacting the ball but that is I mean he's dived in at him so so you can just slide tackle people if the ball's gone I just don't I respect your opinion John and I respect yours Sean but I think I'm right so we're going to just move on and moving on to People would be so fucking angry at me because I think everybody's with you guys.
44:59And I've received a fair amount of abuse already today talking about why I thought Brian Broby was... Do you know what? It probably isn't the best place to put a read. But I'm going to do it anyway. Traveling soon? Don't get caught out without data. Sally is your eSIM app from Creators NordVPN, giving you instant affordable mobile incidents in over 190 countries. Not that we're going to need it next year because we'll be traveling around weird little places in the English championship. No way in an airport kiosks, no sketchy sim sellers. Just download once, choose a plan, and you're connected the moment you land.
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46:10i just long for a world where we can just we haven't won a game in the league in over 100 days this is 2026 we haven't won a game of fucking football jesus we've got a backroom staff just they're plodding around not knowing what the fuck's going on just want to win just want to win one game just like if we can i tell you what i think you just mentioned it short about if we somehow string two or three wins together in these final six games it will feel like it will better than anything we've experienced better than bebao but better better than everything It'll just feel like, oh shit, my football club can play.
46:49We've had two years regarding, if you remove European football, because it doesn't matter unless you win, and we did win in Bilbao, but we've had two years of absolute dross in the league, and the people that have been paying, how much are they paying for a season ticket at Spurs? It's anywhere from like 800 quid up to fucking 40, 50 grand in that stadium. Beautiful stadium. Absolute shit football being played consistently. Shit football. And then you've got fucking Vivian Lewis. You've got fucking Vinay Vegatesham and that blonde twink Langer. He's not a twink. That doesn't make any sense. It's probably a little bit leathery if anything.
47:31But you've got them free and you're just sitting there and they're slumped shoulders and you're just thinking, is this it? Is that what's going to control us? And the reality is there's no like right get rid of all of them then what then just nothing just a couple few more worms come in and try and make it work it feels like right now they've just placed all their eggs in a single basket that's called robert deservey fix this for us we're gonna give you whatever you want because we don't understand what the fuck's going on maybe that's which i don't even think which I don't even think is like a bad decision really.
48:08It's probably the best one they can make. We don't know what we're doing. You can't deserve me. But I'm just finding, I'm finding that Tottenham is affecting my mindset, you know, even away from football. I'm just, I just don't, I don't feel like I believe in anything anymore. You know, a couple of weeks ago, maybe three weeks ago, we had the bushes removed from the end of our garden and we've just, i was like right i'm gonna just make it into a lawn that bit at the end and we've like put it down there i've followed the book to like perfectly soils down the seeds down watered it every single day i spread the amount of seeds exactly what it said got the spreader and it's just like it ain't growing and i'm looking at it it's still just like this barren man i want to see a picture and i'm just like and i'm looking and i'm i'm asking like chat gbt or whatever and i'm and i'm like it's like right well where you are it's this kind of temperature and this is the night temperature so it could possibly go to like 24 25 days until we see sprouts and it's just like i'm now just like this is not ever gonna sprout and it's just and i just yeah i just i don't know I just can't catch a break at the minute.
49:26And I'm very, very unhappy. You resigned to 12 months in the championship at least. Yes. How does that make you feel? I've been having like those genuine conversations with the mates of just like. February. You know, yeah. Like what does next season look like? And are people going to renew? And like we're having the conversation about like away games. And we were like, well, in the Premier League, there's the£30 cap on the away game. So that doesn't exist in the EFL. So we're just looking at it and being like, well, that means that our club are going to charge away fans more than£30 to come to our ground.
50:10They're probably going to be charging like£50 and whatever, which means the rest of the league will rightly charge us the same. Which means that that's even a negative, is that the away tickets are probably going to be like£50 or£60 a pop. And, yeah, I don't know. I think it's one of those situations where, like, the further the conversation goes, it just goes more and more depressing. Are you going Lincoln away, though?
50:36As much as I'll hate going down there, I will enjoy chalking off some different grounds. Like, where I live now in Shrewsbury, Wrexham is, like, 25 minutes away. It's a nice little away day. It's as close to Europe as we're going to see next season. That's the mentality. That's what you want. Just look at the positives. Yeah. I think I've spoken about this before, but I'm one of these weird people who never plays football games online, unless it's me and you, Flav, playing Yids vs. Kids against teenagers and smashing them up. Take me back to lockdown. Yeah, that was good times. So I normally just play FIFA career mode, which is pretty retro, but I just love it.
51:16I love just to manage a club and try to build a Spurs dynasty over a long period of time. And sometimes I'll start by just putting us in the championship. and I'd be like oh something happened there was some sort of like financial mismanagement that led to a horrendous selection of players that led to like a shock relegation and now we're in the championship and so I would like sell all the players and rebuild like a like loads of youth players and I'd like train up my academy and I'd like and I'd love it because it'd be like fuck all the old shit players I don't like and that annoy me I've now just got this group of like youngsters that I just like bought in and I'd like in my mind be that backstory for all the youth academy players and I'd be like trying to get as many of them coming through as possible and I'd absolutely love it I'd love it because when we get back in the prim I'm like right just got to stay up and then I've just got to like finish my table try and win a cup and then and it would end up with me the Spurs getting back to the top and then being basically winning everything and winning the lot and it was amazing and I'm like now I'm like that's coming true that we're mismanaged and we're going down against all odds will the rest of it come true so I'm hoping that it might because I don't think it will.
52:22No, no, it won't. But that's fine.
52:28There is a chance that something might happen. I know we've gone sort of ad nauseum about what everything's wrong with Tottenham Hotspur. But there was moments in that game that wasn't... We had opportunities against them. They were well drilled and well managed, but we had opportunities. and a better forward than Richarlison would have probably tested the keeper. Solanke in another day might have nicked it over. We could have got something out of that. The deflection on Van der Ven could have gone anywhere. There's sort of pause for belief, I think. And I think De Zerbe will relish this opportunity right now because it's probably the biggest of his career.
53:13Without shadow of a doubt, the biggest of his career. and he's just got to get the players doing something. It's not about ability, really. It's about mentality. And they've got to show enough that they want to survive. They want to win. They want to, obviously, none of them want to take a fucking 50 % pay cut, whatever it might be. But by the same token, also, the Zerbys had to suffer a kudos further injury, which should rule him out till fuck knows when in the summer. And Romero's probably played his last game for the fucking football club, maybe. And it's just like, how do you deal with this stuff?
53:55How do you deal with the level of these injuries and the amount of them? I know that perhaps it's easy to blame the injuries, but I don't think we'd be in this situation if they hadn't happened. And they haven't happened. We're still, to this moment, the squad with the most injuries in the Premier League. And it's been that way for two or three years. People are saying it's the pitch. Sean, do you think it's the pitch? I mean, I'm not qualified to talk on it. None of us are. I'll talk about any of this. Yeah, exactly. I lie to myself about the rest of the stuff that I talk about. But I'll concede that I'm not.
54:40I can't even lay a lawn at the back of the end of the garden. Throw some fucking grass seed down. Sean, I want to see a picture of the end of your lawn. I want to see how bad it is. I will send it to you this week. Cheers, mate. But yeah, it's one of them. I'm half thinking with Deserby, if we go down, he'll bugger off to Fiorentina with a pair of TG anyway. I just don't know. You ain't allowed. He signed a contract. He's not allowed. Well, we'll see. But it is one of those ones. I'm saying it to my mates before the Sunderland game. You don't have to play well or look good or look balanced or look like a cohesive team to win in this league.
55:25Plenty of diabolical teams have turned up and won. And we could be that diabolical team. We need to be that diabolical team. Let's lean into that. It's like, yeah. as i say brighton i am not pinning any hopes on but wolves away after that not saying anything's a banker or anything like that that's one that we can attack and we could win something there if we beat brighton do you do you believe that we can stay up then if we actually beat bright yeah i mean if if at any stage we win the game win the game and i'm not talking about like destroy a team just in some sort of fashion we win a game i'll then be like we're staying up because you you that's all i'm asking for but this moment in time i've got nothing there's nothing i can't see anything i feel like we're gonna lose every single game for the rest of the season it has it has got to the point where they have to show us something and they haven't and we can't believe until they do that's where we're all at and it is completely the acceptable position to be in.
56:37Show us, just win a fucking game of football. Just one game. I never thought I'd ever be in this situation as a Spurs fan. I thought it was impossible, John. Yeah, it is really quite weird. And the thing is, I don't, aside from a few selection choices, like not starting with Tell for me was a bit of an odd one and not getting on Xavi Simmonds a bit sooner. I just want to make it clear, I don't have really much blame for Deserbi. I actually think there's like, it's just too early to like blame him for this. This was always my point is I feel like it is just so late in the day for him to have this impact quick enough.
57:13And I didn't see much difference if I'm honest, mate. Like I know you were saying you saw a few bits and pieces. Like I saw basically the Doggy and Porro inverting a bit more, but that was it. Like I didn't really materially see any like green shoots of changes. so to Sean's point hopefully we'll see something different like some improvement against Brian even if we don't get the result because yeah we need something to go okay this is like moving in the direction and there's something happening here I guess my overall like concern is that the players just really just don't have just don't have it in them and so there's only so much he can realistically get out of these players given as like I said with the injuries and stuff we just don't have many positional options.
57:59It's not like you can go, oh, let's just chuck in like a Mikey Moore. We don't have those youth players either. So it's not like we can just try something. We literally don't have a right winger. We don't have one. So yeah, it's going to be tricky. But given more time on the training ground, he'll have learned a lot from this first game. I liked his sort of demeanor after the game, which was like, he's quite calm. He was like trying to stay positive. You know, to Sean's point, it's just like just one win can turn this around. But it has to come pretty soon. Otherwise, we're running out of time.
58:32Sean, I know we just briefly did it, but tell us about your new podcast with Billy T. Yeah, so Two Gies and a Pod. It's that lad culture, the kind of conversations that you have in the pub. It's things like that. But naturally, we're both Tottenham mad, so it's heavily Tottenham. we did the first one and we were like oh we'll dip into a bit of tottenham we had a three hour recording and it was two and a half hours tottenham and uh and then yeah some other little bits of bobs of stories but yeah like we've we put a couple of episodes out on youtube now and um but all the clips are like instagram tiktok and um yeah like i say we're just getting it off the ground now but we're looking to sort of make it a really regular thing all right mate nice one Well, good luck with that.
59:26And if you, people, everyone who's listening to this podcast will already know, but the Big John Bass Show is available whenever you want to get it. Just, just fucking do something. Please. Just do something. Just do something. We're falling out of each other. Me and John now are going to have to have a debrief off air. Saying like, well, you mugging me off. I feel like you were mugging me off. No, I'm just going to wait until I see you. I'm going to throw a ball down and I'm going to wait for you to go for it. Sean's going to come in and tackle you. You're going to go over anyway and then I'm going to fucking two foot you in the face and I go it's not a penalty Flav it's not a penalty mate and I'm going I know I know I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't mean to go this far it was just a conversation on a podcast alright last one boys take care it's the fight
1:00:14it's the fight it's the fight
1:00:22it's the fight Corc a chocolate cause
From the publisher
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We try to make sense of another defeat and that sinking feeling that this might actually be happening. There’s talk about the injuries, the lack of identity, and whether this group of players can pull anything together in the final six games. We argue about decisions, question everything, and land somewhere between blind hope and total resignation. Just win a game. Please.
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