S15E12 - Randal Kolo Muani Signs

0:00Tee off on the Turkish Riviera, Europe's premier golf destination. with championship courses in Bilek and Antalya, luxury all-inclusive resorts and year-round sunshine. It is the perfect getaway under the Mediterranean sun. Play immaculate fairways designed by golf legends, then unwind beside stunning beaches and five-star hospitality. Search Turkey on TripAdvisor now to book your ultimate golf holiday in the Turkish Riviera. This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace, and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message, and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist.

0:47The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook. This message is brought to you by Apple Card. Shave ice by the beach. A trip to the state fair. And a throwback flick at the local drive-in. They're more than just items to check off the summer bucket list. They're also opportunities to earn 2 % daily cash back when you use your Apple Card with Apple Pay. Apply for Apple Card now and use In Minutes with Apple Pay. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City branch.

1:30Terms and more at applecard.com. It's the fight in. It's a fight in Cock It's a fight in It's a fight in Cock A camel turn No Hey Ricky Moani Moani Put your hands All over my body Moani Moani Put your hands All over my body Yeah Moani Moani Put your hands on my body. Put them on my body, Moorani. Moorani, Moorani. With consent, of course, before anyone, you know. Always content. Always. Wait, no, you're saying put your hands all over my body. Oh, yeah, yeah, that is consent in itself. Go on, fill your boots, Moorani. Go on. Does that make it okay? Yeah. Even my no-one-to. Yeah, okay. This sort of five foot seven little brown man.

2:34put your hands all over my body and me turning up 43 years old going go on marney put your hands all over my body i don't want to do that i don't want to do that first off i'm not homosexual you might you might be i don't know but i'm just assuming yeah i'm not homosexual secondly you're 43 you're like you could be my dad and you'll come ask me again put your hands all over my body yeah i see the problem with that but it's a good song sexy as well yeah it is there's not enough sexy football songs no no you're right you're right ricky that song comes from i think my brother ryan used to sing that bill oddy yeah put your hands all over my body wasn't it put your beard all over my body that was it actually nick i don't want to start us off on this foot but you look you could be bill oddy's son where does that come from Where is he?

3:31Did he get you treated? I think he's dead, isn't he, Bill Oddy? Oh, God bless. No, he's not dead, is he? Locked up. Dead to me. Nance. Yeah, he's alive. Yeah, see? Yeah, I knew it. He's all good. He's all good. Clean, clean Bill Oddy. Let me just check for Bill. Did Bill Oddy get... Did Bill Oddy... What was he famous for? It was like noncing up birds and that, wasn't it? I don't know. Was he a twitcher? He just liked birds and stuff. I don't think... I've just Googled it. We can all relax. No, Bill Odie was not cancelled. Never cancelled. Okay. He was removed from his role as a regular presenter on Springwatch in 2008 due to budget cuts.

4:18Oh. I would say that. It's a shame. Less exciting. But yeah, you could Google it. Do you remember what he looks like, Nick? Because he could be your dad. I'm happy... I wouldn't be surprised. I'm happy with him being a version of my dad as long as he's not a massive nonce. Yeah, yeah. That's always a key thing. Nick, this is... Before we move on to really exciting things like signing Kolo Mawani out of nowhere. And we know what that's about, don't we? We know. It's the don. But anyway, before that, Nick, have you ever been on this podcast and we've won a game? No, mate. Legitimately, we've lost every single game.

4:54No, no. I'm just on trend for coming on when we lose. You know, it's like when we win, it's mental. Like if you haven't checked your phone for 30 seconds, everyone's like, oh, can I come on? Oh, John booked on a week ago. Yeah, everyone's like, it's like when Oasis tickets come out or fucking Blastonbury or something. And then when you ask on days like yesterday, there's just this uncomfortable silence. I'm in the office. It goes on. It's got a mad day tomorrow. Got a mad day. Have you? have you tea you've got a mad day have you tea fucking just lying so i can't handle it i don't like it i don't like the silence you're like louis theroux there's like this uncomfortable silence and i have to fill it by going yeah yeah i suppose i suppose i could come on i'm free that works i'm like yes do you want me to try and make the loss make sense i can i can have a go like that who is it one of my mates in hong kong paul paulie g he's always like you only go on when they fucking lose like give me jip about it yeah look but you are quite well-rounded you know you do you do you know you do approach things with a level of philosophy philosophy what am i looking for a philosophical overview overview yeah you know that that was a bad one weren't it like we like we all thought come on now let's all be honest here Ricky let's all just be open with each other we thought everything was alright didn't we we thought it was fixed we thought some of it in the back of our heads the Cogs was telling me we're thinking possible league title challenge possible yeah yeah yeah sneaky one 30 minutes in you're like oh no I know I say positive that last year in my FPL didn't use any Tottenham players fuck that no way this season after those two games I was like, could you, you're coming in son.

6:51Home game, 3-0, let's go. Mate, I bought in Richie and Johnson. In you come, boys. By FPL, you mean club game, don't you? Not FPL, not the Premier League one. We mean club FPL. This podcast is involved in producing and bait better. Exactly. That's the exact one. I got them in a pack. There you go. I got them both in a pack. That was unlucky. I packed Ritchie. We're only supposed to do this on this episode, but you mentioned FBL and now we're going to go Club FBL. Club FBL is much better. It is actually better. I'll put a link. There's going to be another link in this one. Forget it. We'll put links somewhere.

7:37You'll see it on Twitter. Check on Fighting Cop Twitter. Yeah, so 30 minutes in and you're imagining Xavi Simmons up there with his family looking down like that. And he's going, what have I done? And then you just see his body just walt and fall off the top of the upper tier. Yeah. Because he's like, he had 10 of his family and then like lemons slowly, they all just

8:18just a pile of the Simmons family at the bottom tier

8:25what have we done and they're not dead they're just sitting there writhing in pain going oh my god what have we done anything to get out of this deal now anything if i land on both my legs and break them both i might never have to play for this book yeah it happens when you buy new players and you think that they must be thinking what the hell it's just so typical though isn't it just fucking unveiling everyone's so excited about him coming and we can't believe we've got him you know we're all buoyed every two wins and we're like come on man this is gonna be a fucking great afternoon saturday kicker 3 p.m let's go ah man and then then that happens they are good though they are good i mean they've lost their entire defense and goalkeeper but they are good aren't yeah i mean they are good they are a good team and um shouldn't expect it really yeah i just didn't expect it but the thing is that the thing that um after maybe disappointment i don't know if that is that is the right word that one of you yeah i'm gonna go with disappointment but listening to frank's um t uh his talk after his interview uh post-game and he was saying you know we knew what Bournemouth would do we knew how they would play we knew that they would press we knew that all these different things and he was just like we just didn't do any of it we didn't you know we'd been training a week and we didn't got nowhere near the levels of what we were supposed to do and I was like right well okay at least you're honest um just didn't do any of it yeah I know it was like you know you know when you first meet a bird right and you I don't know if you probably won't remember this Ricky but I do and you're like you're first cracking on and you're like oh these are all the things I'm fucking gonna do to you yeah these are the things you are gonna have to you're gonna never know dick like this you'll never know you'll find a new name for my dick that's how good this dick's gonna be these are all the promises I was making and when you get to when you get to it you realize she realizes really it's just a normal dick yeah that's what all the others do is just go in and out a bit or it's or it's like when uh out of a night out of my missus i'm like you fucking wait till we get home i'm gonna sort you right out and then she goes and then she goes to the toilet comes back and i'm asleep on the bed yeah yeah flassy little cocky still got my shoes on just laying there starfish let down central that was tottenham at the weekend sometimes it happens yeah exactly sometimes it happens it happens you learn from it yeah they were rigid and full of viagra and we were passed out on the bed with our shoes still yeah exactly i just i wonder obviously you saw in the first the last three games we saw an acute plan didn't we nick we saw exactly what well more than we hoped really we played so much better tactically astute, pressed brilliantly.

11:25And so that's why you think actually maybe it's solved, all the problems are solved. And then against Bournemouth, it was the opposite. It was like they had the plan and we didn't have one. But I don't know. What did you make of it? I think looking at it in hindsight, what I was thinking earlier was whether it has got more to do with Xavi Simmonds coming in the day that he did than you give it credit. Do you know what I mean? A bit to your point about like... Jabby Simmons is full. It's his fault. I'm saying it's his fault. What I'm saying is, is like that's where we lacked any spark at all, was like, you know, pulling the strings to that final third.

12:04Like we just didn't have it there. Like we, they were very good going forward, weren't they? But I do think there was something, kind of like we, we knew we had him and we knew he was in the stands and he couldn't play and therefore we missed him. Do you know what I mean? Does that make sense? Like, like the, you've got like this amazing thing, the best thing, like a generational signing, potentially, hopefully, right? Like, you know, like a, like a Ginela, like a, like when Davids came and you knew what he had and like, you remember him being trotted out, like in that preseason friendly, like the buzz I was there, like just, and I think that like a bit of that buzz, like that then does just expose like a bit of a fucking great big hole in front of what was primarily a defensive free.

12:45And then SARS, yeah, he's got that running power, but is he going to go into it? And then there was just a, it looked like a collective, you know, when you're like really bored and you've got something happening the next day and this day you've got nothing to do. And you just end up having a wank, don't you? And it looked like they just all had a wank and they were just all a bit wanky. Is it, is that, is he right? Was this Xavi Simmonds' fault, Rick? I mean, it'd be harsh to put it on Simmonds. Do it though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'd be fine. Yeah, yeah. He's got to get used to being thrown under the bus.

13:22So we'll do that, yeah. Can you come into my office, please? It was, yeah, it was a weird one. It was, so when I was watching the game, it was kind of like we were recycling the ball in defence, go to the full back, and then the full backs were like, actually, I've got nothing on here. Go back to the centre back. Then go back around. It was like, we didn't, it felt like we didn't really have an outlet. it and then we were being pressed and then it was like shit we'll go back to the keeper again and it just get dropping back further and we couldn't really find uh palina or benton core and even if we did they're not really that those type of players that are going to link to the you know the front four so and then when they did have it and it was like that realization of the middle of the park was kind of like a it felt like a no-go area it was like right well let's let's stick it back up to Richie.

14:14We did that last, last week against City. He was winning the, the, you know, winning a lot of the balls and we were getting the knock-ons and that's how we scored. But Richie was just, nothing was sticking. He was, he was having a, he had a terrible first half. He was diabolical, wasn't he? And then, so it was kind of like, okay, that's not working. Let's, let's get it to Kudus. But then it was like, they were doubling up on him and he didn't really get into the game until the 70th minute. And then in the 70th minute, when Bergvall come on and we looked a bit more creative in the centre of the park and someone had a bit more time and was a bit more energetic.

14:51And then Kudus had room and he started to come into his own. It was a little bit too late, you know, that end flourish, but it just kind of like we didn't really get going. And then in that second half, the ref, it was like, I think we played three minutes of football that's what it felt like it was just so stop and start everything and i was just like either like it's the rest fault bournemouth are doing it as well because they've gone one up and they're they're looking to close the game out but it didn't really feel like we looked like scoring either you know it felt like one of those games that would be there play that game again and we didn't seem like scoring and i would get it if we had lots of shots and uh missed opportunity hit the bar hit the post or ricky didn't finish his one and what whatever it is but there was none of that like no i don't think we had our first shot until burgville came on in like the 70th minute or something like that so it was just all round we i think we had a couple of game plans but neither of them got got going really my dad wasn't happy

16:05what'd your dad say Rick he was uh yeah he was annoyed he was annoyed he was pretty pissed off the problem with dads is they can't really articulate why they're annoyed no because um like full disclosure I had to watch the game back in extended highlights form which is why I'm not passing much comment because I wasn't able to watch it because I basically got stuck in Devon I got stuck in traffic jams in Devon. And then I wasn't stuck with my mum because that's the wrong kind of way of saying it. But I was in her house. And you can imagine a 73-year-old mum doesn't have a dodgy fire stick. So I couldn't watch it, basically.

16:42So anyway, I was speaking to my dad. And he was like, it's atrocious, gal. Atrocious. Atrocious. What is it? He got it tactically wrong. I mean, what did he do? And that's when it all started to fall apart. He wasn't sure how he got it tactically wrong. but he was convinced he did. And I think, is that a fair assumption from what you say? That you'd say that Iriola, his tactics worked and Frank's didn't? Did he change it? Should he have changed it more quickly? Were the subs right? Nah, I don't think so, man. I think we were flat from the off, to be honest. It was on the players. Yeah, I think it's on the players.

17:19And I don't know whether they were tired from City. We put a lot into City. I re-watched those highlights earlier, you know, and just the speed of the game was unbelievable. You know, we did more in the first minute than we did in 70, which I know is somewhat circumstantial, but it is about attitude and it is about passing forward and it is about attacking and being aggressive. And we didn't have that. I think, you know, a lot's been said about Semenyo, but he's different gravy. Like the confidence and Porro just weren't at it at all. he looked at C from the off. Like, he just didn't look right.

17:56Like, I think he should have got pulled well earlier. He's brilliant. I love him. But he weren't there. And I think when you looked across the board, we were missing that. Like, when Kudos got the ball, even though he couldn't do anything with it because Richie's inside him and it was just bouncing off Richie like something else. It was unbelievable. I'd be surprised if Richie was in those highlights you watched, Flav. He was that bad. Yeah, I can't say I saw a great deal, man. Fucking awful, right? You can see how good Kudos is though. Even when he's got two players on him, he's still just smashing them up, running around in circles, but there's nothing showing.

18:29And I do think it was mentality and attitude primarily. And they were the opposite. Brooks, Semenyo, other geezer up front. Can't remember his name. Like on it. Do you know what I mean? Evan Nelson. That's the boy. Well, this is it. You've got that midfield on front three. And we said this on Patreon, the preview we did for the game. it's actually a really attractive, very good, well-drilled front five players they've got. I think you have Evan Nilsson, you've got David Brooks, obviously Semenyo, midfielders Alex Scott. Scott was really good as well. Yeah, he was. Spurs player, Spurs player. Yeah, I know.

19:08I showed my dad mid-game. I had to put up a Guardian article to show him. Why was he screaming at him? I was like, he's playing really well. He's playing really well. and I said he's a Tottenham fan. He's like, is he? And I was like, yeah, here you go, dad. He's like, fucking hell, should have signed him. Well, he used to go to Spurs and watch them and play that kind of level. I think he's underrated at this stage and I think Bournemouth as a football club are underrated and the fact that they've managed to have that much upheaval, like they've had to bite. So you got lost, I can't remember, I can never pronounce the name of the lad that went to PSG for 70 million euros, but they also lost Dean Hausson to Madrid for€50 million.

19:49They've lost Xerxi to Liverpool,€30 million, and Kepa to Arsenal's reserves. And they've brought in Petrovic, Sensini. That's not his name, is it? Didn't they lose the left-back to Liverpool? Yeah, Kirk has. And also, Adam Smith was the only one remaining, and their captain went off injured. So they had an entire new back line. But the front sort of, the players that played in midfield, Tavernier, Alex Scott, Semenyo, David Brooks, and then you've got Tyler Adams who's sitting, and Evan Nilsson. That is, they know their job, right? So the defensive issues are one thing, but what Areola got them doing last year, it's no surprise that they're even better this year with more training, more time.

20:35Yeah. And I'm not excusing losing to Bournemouth, but we do have this preloaded idea about what Bournemouth are and when we're playing them at home, we should be beating them. When in reality, they're an excellent side. They gave a really good account of themselves up at Anfield as well before that. Yeah, they did. They did. And that was the first game where these defenders are playing with each other. We shouldn't be losing this game. We shouldn't be losing any home game. We should be competitive, certainly, and not be outplayed like that. Yeah. But probably should have got here earlier instead of Frank Castle, what some people have said.

21:04He's got to go, blood. He's got to go, isn't he? He's got to go. I don't know what he's doing. He's got to go. That was depth. but despite all this Randall Colomoani is signing for Tottenham Hotspur imagine buying your kid a toy only to find the batteries aren't included or buying furniture but missing the tools to build it frustrating right? now imagine the exact same feeling but you're paying way more that is what buying business software usually feels like fragmented, disconnected and incredibly expensive Odoo completely changes that. Odoo is a complete, fully integrated business suite where all your apps actually talk to each other.

21:48We're talking automated lead routing for your sales team, seamless AI integration, and intuitive point-and-click website builder. It's everything your business needs to scale, saving you time, headaches, and money. Stop piecing your software together. Go to odoo.com. That's O-D-O-O dot com to learn more. This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace, and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message, and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group.

22:29The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook. This message is brought to you by AppleCard. Shave ice by the beach. A trip to the state fair. And a throwback flick at the local drive-in. They're more than just items to check off the summer bucket list. They're also opportunities to earn 2 % daily cash back when you use your AppleCard with ApplePay. Apply for AppleCard now and use in minutes with ApplePay. Subject to credit approval, AppleCard is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City branch.

23:06Terms and more at AppleCard.com. Do you know, Ricky, how long have I wanted this? Yeah, you've wanted it for a long time. How long would you say in total? Two years, maybe. At least two years. It's a long time before. It is. How happy are you? Very happy. I could cry I'm happy. But I'm also conscious of going overboard if he comes and he's a bit of a donkey. But if you want to be convinced how good this guy is, specifically in the number nine role. He was the one that did it before Mamouche, did it before Eketike. Yeah. Mouane was their first breakout development star at Frankfurt. Yeah. You go and watch those highlight reels and if you're not convinced that he is, he could be a superstar at Tottenham.

23:59That's how strongly I feel about him. On top of the fact that Dominic Solanke He looks like he's going to be out for a while, might need surgery. On top of the fact that Richarlison, regardless of what we've seen, we know he's not good enough as our number nine. Yeah. We needed something like this. Yeah, I agree. And also, you can't trust Richarlison to save it either. So he needed to be a striker. The fact that we've worked on this, this is the second time a deal like this has happened in a week. I don't know how much this has to do with Pratich coming back, but he's gone, we've got a problem, let's solve it.

24:34I'll make some calls. that's what it feels like it has happened especially because there's if he's gone to Juventus and gone don't buy him I'll sort you out Doner Ryan but don't buy him because he he scored 9 in 16 or something like that for Juventus in the last half of the season fuck really yeah do you remember because we thought we were going to get him in January Rick and then he didn't and was like fucking wanker yeah and actually I was ready to do oh pick Juventus have you oh okay not scoring any goals but then I was like oh fuck no he's actually scoring goals 8-16, 1-2. All kinds of goals as well.

25:09Like a couple of them are a bit spawning, but, you know, big, big headers, couple of smashes, couple running them in both corners. Have you watched the highlights? Yeah, mate. Yeah, I've done my research. I've done that. You told me to do that. I went and done anything. It's fucking ridiculous. Like when you look at, it's night and day, you know, between what we saw yesterday, like having someone up top like that. Dom hasn't quite done it for us yet and from memory, you know, you can't go back and watch a highlight reel like that of him either. I think he's, but I think he's going to be superb for us and I think he's going to be a brilliant second striker, work rate, pressing, all of that.

25:47But Mwani just looks like mercurial. I love it. Shit, boy. Put your hands all over my body. Mwani, Mwani, put your hands all over my body. That is going to pop in the south stand, mate, I'll tell you. everyone's rubbing their own body like that

26:10they're rubbing their tits and stuff oiled up yeah top top yeah writhing everyone's just writhing no one's looking at the gang because they've got their eyes closed so hard writhing turn your back on the pitch like the posman just not even looking everyone's shoving things up each other's arses yes Yes. I've always wanted this. Always wanted it. Fucking what it's all about. The last days of Gamora, there's nothing left but just fucking Bill O 'Neill. Jesus. Is it confirmed? Is it like shirt, scarf, or is he just flying into Tottenham? Scarf? Chelsea might make a late bid. Oh, good. I love that.

26:54Apparently, according to... Here we go, I think. Let me just check. Let me just check. Romano is taking a bit of a shoe in this transfer window, isn't he? He's redeemed himself somewhat, I think, but I think we're clear that he's, I think it's, I've got a lot of time for him. Every time I've, when I say worked with him, I've been booked and there's been an interview with him on something like that. He, he, he's been lovely, really nice, but that doesn't not mean that he's not like a agent's plant. He might well be, but if he is a plant, then, then so be it. It says breaking. His is Romano, but Ornstein, Horny, Horny, Horny.

27:36Or Pornstein. Horny, Orny.

27:42But that's because everyone gets aroused when he drops a bomb. Yeah. You know that he's the most like, if you, if you had to rank the world's biggest ITK accounts, I think, you know, if that's what you call them, connected accounts, it used to be Fabrizio Romano. Yeah. I think Spurs as a fan base have now demoted, to tier two. That's what I've heard. Oh shit, tier two. That's just harsh. Yeah, we've got a, here we go, Bomba. Uh, from, uh, what the fuck? Bomba as well. What does it mean? Do you know, it took me about a year to understand what the fuck everyone was going. That's how old I am now.

28:19What's everyone said Bomba for? But I kind of feel like it's gone too far for me to ask. So I just have to pretend I know. Uh, but now it just means explosive transfer and lose, I think. yeah PSG accepts Spurs' proposal for Kolo Moani he wanted the move he only wanted Tottenham which is what you like to hear innit yeah and he wanted out of the projects at PSG bearing in mind do you know what PSG do you know how much they paid for him from Frankfurt 45 more oh shit 65 more 67 more 82 more what Fuck off, it was more than 82. No. Yeah, it was. How much was it? Well, you have to get the exact. It's a rubbish game.

29:08More. 91. More. I'm not playing. 95. Yes. Wow. 95. Yeah, Randall Coley. I can't find him on fucking... I'm definitely spelling his name right, which is wrong. It should probably say something about my deep-seated reform beliefs. i can smell randolph i can smell he's not it's randall uh randall randolph in i've got the a in the a in the end the wrong way around transfer market so what 95 million euros psd pay fucking hell that's fucking well just need to check that that was correct that does sound a bit lumpy it sound like i made it up yes i was right 95 million euros yep um market value at the time was 80 million and then um obviously didn't play much for psg so it dropped we've got the option to buy as well as according to according to romano which ornstein yeah ornstein said no he said no option i'm more inclined to agree with horny hornstein yeah yeah so um but according it was similar to tell you remember it came out that he didn't have a, an option.

30:24And then he did have an option. I'm worried about tell, you know, I wouldn't say, I wouldn't say I'm worried, but, um, what I'd say is I am interested to see his development. Uh, because if, if I'm honest, he hasn't, you know, he hasn't had a run in the team. He hasn't played a lot. I don't know at this kind of young age and where, where he's been, if it's been determined where his best position is. When we signed him, that... Oh, what's his name? Pletigo? Is that his name? Yeah, the German guy. He's a number nine. He's a number nine. That's it. He proclaimed a number nine. Don't tell us where to play our own fucking player.