S15E36 - The Man Who Would Be King

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1:32Anheuser-Busch, Michelob Ultra. Registered light beer, St. Louis, Missouri. Must be 21 plus to order alcohol. Alcohol available only in select markets. It's the fighting.

1:43It's the fighting. Cock. It's the fighting.

1:51It's the fighting. Cock. A camel shirt. No. I've got a big problem, boys. What's that? So I work in a building. I've got an office in a building and it's an old building. It's like an old solicitor's office. This, this could be a house. It's that kind of building, right? It's not like an office building that you might get in London that has 18 floors. And at the moment, only like half of the rooms are occupied. And in the entire building, there's three men. I went into the toilet earlier and there was a mess.

2:29Right. There was a mess. and I was disgusted. I was genuinely, for the first time in my life, looked at something and went, you fucking pig. Whoever did that is this. And it wasn't that there was stuff in the bowl. There was stuff on the underside of the toilet and on the sort of back where your arsehole is on the seat. And I looked at it and I was like, I'm getting out of here. I'm getting out of here. Now, here's where the problem is. Only one person knows who'd done it and there's three of us. I know I didn't do it. I know the other guy thinks that it's either me or him, or me or the third party.

3:11And I'm wondering what to do. What do I do here? Do I confront the other person? How do you do that? That's impossible, right? I don't know him. I don't know his name. What do I knock on his door? Go downstairs, knock on his door and go, you've just left a fucking horror show up there. and the other mate is going to think it might be me so can you sort it out because i've got suspicions of who it might be no or leave a note that's the british way sign it so sign it so that it's my name so then you're in early then you're in early by saying that weren't me because i've put the note there but but am i double bluffing yes they don't know that they don't know i don't think it clears anything up so what i think the best and this this is the most sort of cuck position to be in is get some wet wipes and clean it up so that no one thinks it's me but then i've got to do that i can't do that but then there's a poor little old lady who comes in on a sunday and cleans everywhere she shouldn't be confronted by that the guy who did it needs to fucking but hang on so it's like when you're walking the dog and it does a shit and if no one's around you don't pick it up you're a scumbag that is true i hate that so much but um you said so only the people on your floor have access to that toilet no everybody has access it's only a small building uh because um in my day when i when i was in a massive office block i used to go for shits on other floors that were quieter so there's every possibility that's because you're a decent human being when i was a ball street and was in a similar situation there was a toilet on floor four and we were on two get out of the danger zone no one needs to know you've had a pup at work and and and there is a there's a certain level of disgust and disdain i have for someone who shits near where they work we had toilets near our office so the office had to split into two rooms remember ball street right split into two rooms and there was a little corridor and there was an office someone would have a pup in there and the whole office would be infumigated it would And there's like 50 people in there.

5:22And you know the geezers just walked out there. There was one geezer called Jed. He's the tallest man you'll ever see. And when he went for a piss, you knew. You could hear it through the walls. It was sensational stuff. Anyway, I'm just going to ignore it and hope no one blames me. I think that's the best way to do it. It makes me think, I kind of feel like it's almost like when a terrorist attack happens and someone claims responsibility straight away. It's almost like you should claim responsibility for it. It's the claim that you did it. and that will just fuck everything because the person that did do it will be like, fuck, what happened?

5:52You're double-bluffing him. When my respect for Al-Qaeda went away was when they started claiming stuff they didn't do. Yeah, it's bullshit. Yeah. Anyway, I'll tell you one thing though, boys, categorically, Spurs are back. We're back.

6:12Hey, hey, hey. Yeah, we're back. love it we were dead and buried and then we came back team spirit together us together us talking of terrorists Thomas Frank oh mate I um no I don't know I did you see the athletic they they put they put put together a um they did a survey of football which is great I mean I really enjoy the athletic I think they do good stuff and they provide great content and um and most of it is kind of very highbrow and and you know well-written stuff that you you know you enjoy reading if you like that stuff but some every now and then they'll do something a little bit more uh with a little bit more levity they basically um they basically put together a a survey where they canvassed opinion and found out who is the happiest fan base in the league and who is the unhappiest and you know where i'm going with this yeah sunderland happiest fan base obviously for obvious reasons Arsenal second and the the most unhappiest fan base right now is Tottenham Hotspur and I it doesn't surprise me at all because last last last week we spoke on this podcast about what is what is what's going on why why do we feel like this on mass why are hundreds of thousands of Spurs fans all feeling the same we've got some questions uh that ask the same same question i just i didn't have you boys on that podcast so what what what is it what can you can you tap into this reason why we're you know right now you know it's actually quite funny is that um if any spurs fan is happy they get attacked like mark nesbitt is relatively okay he realizes that something's happening and we just attack him well i do anyway he doesn't deserve it because he's happy.

8:05He's like an old adjusted human being who realises that you're not going to have good times all the time. He gets attacked. When Flav was kind of pro-ange, when people were kind of losing their shit, Flav was getting attacked by me. I had to love the group. He's happy. Some of us is happy. We just attack him. So even if you are happy as a Spurs friend, you get attacked for it anyway. So you might as well just join in the crowd. If that is the case, aren't we then the problem? Or aren't we a part of the problem? Where someone who, and this has been for years, when we started the podcast here, you'll remember this, is there was a bunch of lads on Twitter who fucking loathed us.

8:46Absolutely loathed everything we were doing, everything we were about. Which, in hindsight, I kind of respect. But we were called happy clappers. The clearer soul kids, someone called us. I can't remember who it was. Because we didn't know our ass from our elbow. And we were just bouncing along, bumbling along, following Spurs and Appy. And I kind of longed for that period where I just belonging to a football club meant everything. Win, lose or draw. And it kind of has changed for a lot of reasons. But can you put your finger on it, Cal? Off the top of my head, the first thing I thought of was we've won the trophy.

9:28We've won the Europa League, right? It's almost like it didn't help. It made things worse. I think people, like, it was almost like, even though we finished 17th, but we won the trophy and we're in the Champions League. And it was almost like, I think a lot of us kind of thought, well, that 17th didn't happen. It doesn't matter. It's a hard reset, if you like. We've got the trophy. Great. We're in the Champions League. Great. Now we're going to go. But that hasn't happened. That hasn't happened at all. We're in the Champions League, yeah, and we're doing okay in it. but we're still seeing in essence the same kind of hopeless shit football and nothing's really changed and I think maybe some of us thought that maybe it would change winning a trophy and be in the Champions League that's on my head that's what I'm thinking yeah of course and and and like when we appoint Frank is it unfair after 14 games now to you know criticize what he's doing because that's what's happening.

10:27He's under intense pressure. A kind of pressure I don't think I've seen before because even when we were awful under Ange-Pastokoglu, we had the support of the vast majority of fans based on surveys that we've done this calendar year. He had the support. We won the trophy. Frank's come in and he's got his own ideas that probably don't marry with exactly how we want our football club to play football. But he probably has a plan. I'm sure he has a plan, right? Everything that we are seeing is relatively deliberate. The things that we're not doing, he wants us to do. All that sort of stuff. But for us as a fan base, and I will say a fan base, that would mean 100%.

11:09Based on the polls, 45 % of Spurs fans think that Frank can't do the job at the club. But it is unfeasibly early to criticise him, as we all are. and um well not all are you know some of us are uh and but but in the same token it feels right i feel like i'm right when i say it like i'm looking at them at the touchline and they're like talking to each other and i'm like what the fuck are you talking about it better be fuck with shit fuck with shit we can't create any chances that better be the most sensible looking conversation about having a meltdown i should ever see yeah like when he he looks at matt wells matt wells I think we're shit.

11:53Frank, I think, Thomas, I think we're shit. And Cochran's going, yeah, yeah, we are shit. Frank's looking and going, yeah, maybe we are shit. Okay. All right, well, we'll bring on Javi Simmons then and tell. We've got iPads and on iPads, it's just bold. Caps Lock just says, we're fucking shit. Massive slayers across the screen. Comic Sans. Yeah. Could you imagine it was in Comic Sans? but I would say in isolation that performance last night T perhaps wasn't awful given the fact that going away from home against Newcastle tricky place to go certainly for Tottenham yeah in in the wholeness of the game they were better than us but not not to the point where we weren't in it

12:48I think that it's one of those where if you play football the way you can play it and everything's equal you're going to win and that's how Newcastle seem to approach playing Spurs at home they've got their strengths you know they're a very physical team they're first to every ball and you've got Gerald Linton is a thug and to be fair I think Benton Court kind of outdone him last night in that in those stakes but they realise that if they put enough pressure on us, then we're going to fold. And that's generally what happens. And I think, I can't remember what the commentator was. We only got to 20 minutes.

13:19If Noco conceded, he thought, okay, we're kind of ridding the storm now because usually after 20 minutes, something's happened. Something bad has happened. But I think in the second half, we did improve an awful lot. But I feel that when we're watching the Spurs games, there's almost a confirmation bias in that, whether it be Frank's tactics and some of the players we're less fond of and, I don't know, Kudus can't beat Hall. Brenton, of course, giving the ball away a lot. And both of these things did happen, but maybe not as much as people were saying. And it feels like it's like he starts the game to contain the other team.

14:00Then he brings on more attacking subs later on. I think, I mean, it goes without saying he needs to reverse, he needs to kind of start the game on the front foot. and then, I don't know, get a bit of a lead or at least some sort of momentum and then maybe shut up shop, you know? Because I think, it's easier to say in hindsight, but I think Johnson's starting was just a bad move. I mean, it's one of those where I wanted to see how it would pan out, but it just didn't work. It's funny you say that because I was, the lad I mentioned a couple of times in recent podcasts, Adam, who goes Brentford and is obviously a big fan of Frank.

14:34He said that this is the first time I'm going to sit down and watch Tottenham to figure out what's going on. And there's a couple of things he picked up on. One thing he did say is that at Brentford, Brendan Johnson would have thrived. That's what he said. I don't know how or what. He didn't really qualify it. He just said that based on how Brentford performed under Frank in the last couple of years, that Brendan Johnson would have had a role that was very effective. He also made comment on the quality of our players compared to Brentford's in terms of our ability to win these duels in midfield that are so apparently important to Thomas Frank.

15:13He just said that we just had, for Frank's team, better players, stronger players. And specifically, you mentioned Visser and Bumo. or Bumo and we just don't have that profile and and he said that that that's the issue but it didn't really account for or explain the type of setup and the kind of play that we want to see our team you know employ so it was you know he's coming from a Brentford fan he's had massive success he said the system is similar but the players are all wrong maybe that is it maybe we've got the wrong profile of players, maybe they're not as good as we think they are and a sort of mid-table finish is what we've got to expect but I don't want that I'd rather us play a different brand of football under a different manager if the alternative is that we're going to have a go at teams yeah yeah there's a lot there I think yeah I've been I've been thinking a lot since Saturday because that was dire against Fulham on Saturday about our players and like you said are they as good as we think they are and last season it was almost like there was two two different teams in terms of how these players would perform in the league and how they would perform in the Europa League most of the teams in the Europa League you expect us to beat maybe outside of Antwerp Frankfurt I I think they were the best team in the tournament other than us.

16:52But yeah, I just, but they are that group of players that finished 17th last year. And so you've got to start looking at these players in a certain way thinking, are you really that good? And I think the defence is that good. I don't think the goalkeeper is. I think we should look at getting a new goalkeeper. But I think the glaring thing last night, I think the glaring, well it's been glaring all season is our midfield. Like we desperately need to buy two new midfielders in there, top midfielders, because physically, ones that can physically kind of match up to teams like Newcastle, but also that can create and set the tempo of the game, every game.

17:34And it's just such a glaring weakness we have is that middle of the pitch is so important. But I just think our midfielders are fucking miles off of it, like miles off of it. I thought Sarr last night was... Yeah, it does seem like that's a problem area, isn't it? And without that midfield, I mean, do we then have to bring players in that we would consider... That was another thing that Adam said about having a combative midfield that enables you to get the ball to the wingers who will drive. He said consistently we would drive at fullbacks. We would manage to get it to... Like last season, Mbumo and Sharda, they would get it to them and they would drive at fullback, and getting crosses into the box when you're a Brentford player, it was almost like a given.

18:20It would happen consistently. I remember when we played them last year, we won 2-0, was it, in the end? We won 2-0, but it was a barrage of crosses coming in. Archie Gray, I remember having a really good game in that one, getting his head in a lot. If that is the case, if Brentford can do it and be much more attacking than get, as we saw last night, actually, Kudis was, I think, his best game, I suppose. But if you can get your wingers into the gate, which is what Frank wants to do, then we can be dangerous. And maybe it is about a change of midfielders in midfielders. But the fucking last time we played him, he's saying how good our midfield was.

19:01He said Ben Zincor was good. He lost Ben Zincor. I don't know, man. I don't know. It's, well, do you, actually, something you just said to you about confirmation bias like when you're unhappy and you look at the you look at the team playing and you think I'm seeing things that I wouldn't otherwise if we had just won the last four games on the bounce so you don't mind sort of loose passes or if the shape ain't quite right or if you're not attacking it could be just an off day and maybe that you know we've experienced a couple of them but it's kind of like when you've just fallen out of love of your missus and she just you know everything she does and everything she does breathes in the wrong way yeah yeah you sit next to her and all you can hear is ah ah ah and you're like why the fuck are you and she's like I'm just breathing it's like one lemon that you're looking for all of the bad things that isn't me by the way no never I love her so much it could never be me um but yeah no it is one of them things you look for the bad things and uh anyway let's talk let's talk about some of the more interesting parts of last night because there were some.

20:12Let's start with let's start with the second time in 13 games 14 games when one of our centre-backs has got a brace. I don't remember that ever happening at Tottenham. I don't remember the last time a centre-back scored two goals for Spurs. Outside of Van der Ven. Outside of Van der Ven, yeah, which is happening this season. Which is an amazing thing. Van der Ven's was two headers from close range from set pieces. Romero's however was something else I would actually say the better of the I don't know actually what one was better I think the diving header from Kudu it was all about Kudu's industry and his brilliant cross and Romero's desire to get onto the ball and that diving header that was much more pleasing but the second one was all about desire it doesn't matter that the scissor kick came off his shin the fact that he was on the floor and half a second later he was finishing to score from that range as you know you're back to goal in the way that he did was sensational it was just mustard tea yeah it's one of those where I don't know you're like you're looking away from the screen thinking oh for fuck's sake you look back and it's gone in that happened to me twice because if it were one or done I'm thinking okay Newcastle are going to clamp our sharp shop listen I'll just see Romero winning away celebrating oh my god we've equalised and then the penalty which we'll talk about happens and I think, okay, here we go, Spurs shafted again.

21:42And I'm like, you know, it's about 97th minute thinking, okay, the game's over now. And all of a sudden out of nowhere, it just comes with this over the head kick and it just changes the complexion of how we looked at the game. And something I've not really thought about till now was if we had gone there and attacked, could we have even won? You know, we've got the weapons in our side to attack him. It's just very weird. I mean, I think the frustration of Frank is that he'll pick a player for a run of games and then he'll just drop him for no reason whatsoever. And that's happened with Odebeer.

22:17Odebeer is a player who's been criticised, by me included. But this season has kind of shown that there's something there. Then he gets dropped. I think it could have been useful last night. But no, I think it's just a game of two halves. and I think before and after the subs as well. But yeah, I just think Romero's determination got us there in the end. But it's just so many questions and I think a lot of them will be answered after the Brentford game. I had a conversation on this podcast with Alex from Bristol and I remember saying to him that Romero, we need to consider selling Romero because at that time, he'd only played one in two games in his entire Spurs career through injury, suspension, and a few other things like international, being unavailable because of internationals or whatever it might be.

23:12And I was saying to him, you can't rely on him. You can't rely on him. I was so wrong. Like, not only has he bounced back from those injury issues, but he has signed the new contract, which I just cannot conceive. That was one of the most bizarre. Do you know what I mean, Kyle? It was mental that he signed the contract. probably the biggest sign of the summer was Romero. Cause there's nobody saw it. Nobody saw that coming before. All right, maybe we'll get one more year and we'll sell him to athlete, athletic co next, next season. Like we'll get a good fee for him. And then, you know, and all the noise after Ang left, and I'm not going to sit here and start digging out.

23:50But after Ang left was like, Oh, there's going to be a player mutiny and players are going to want to leave. And, you know, our captain outside of sun, the guy who was the captain for the Europa League final signs a new contract and if there was one player you thought would leave it would be Romero but he in that Europa League run in the final especially he he was never going to let us lose that game and him and this season I think we've been showing up a little bit actually I think we really miss Kulisevsky in the team I think we miss him in the dressing room I think he's a he's a good character to have around and even Madison as well I think those two guys not just as footballers but I think his personalities being in the dressing room you know for games is he's a big loss to us but I think our two standout leaders are Van der Ven and Romero aren't they they're just they are they are the captains of the team and they you know they are when they go on the pitch as well one or the other is wearing the armband and I actually think one one thing that has been really noticeable is how passive we are like we always want one more touch there's always one more pass we're always second and I do actually put that down to a little bit of a confidence issue there really where they it just they just look like a group of players that just don't actually know what they're doing at all and And so with that comes confusion and indecisiveness.

25:19But Romero last night was like, fuck your indecisiveness. We're not losing this game. And he just delivered in the end. Imagine buying your kid a toy only to find the batteries aren't included or buying furniture, but missing the tools to build it. Frustrating, right? Now imagine the exact same feeling, but you're paying way more. That is what buying business software usually feels like. fragmented, disconnected, and incredibly expensive. Odoo completely changes that. Odoo is a complete, fully integrated business suite where all your apps actually talk to each other. We're talking automated lead routing for your sales team, seamless AI integration, and intuitive point-and-click website builder.

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26:44Offer valid June 17th through July at the US only C-Store online for details. Are all batteries the same? That's like asking if all soccer players are the same. Take Messi, the most decorated player ever. Is there any other player who has achieved that? No, just him. Now take Duracell. Is there any other battery with Power Boost ingredients inside? No, just Duracell. Remember, goats only trust goats because they're built different. And Messi only trusts Duracell. Right. So when he scored and he cuffs his ears to the away support and then points it himself. I was like, I love that. That's great.

27:28He's like celebrating, like brilliant. And then it turns out it's not about him at all. It's fucking digging out Bruno Gimmerish. Why did he? he's like it was like I took that shit personally that's what it's like he's like it was based on another game wasn't it was it I just think it's Brazilian I thought it's Argentina Brazil thing he hates Brazilians and he booted up Richarlison when he's at Everton yeah yeah and do you like that do you like that sort of xenophobic edge to him or if it's Spurs on someone else yeah it's fine otherwise yeah they're just awful it should be cancelled no no no And spurs on everybody.

28:10Everyone can get it, no matter race, creed, religion. Everyone can get it. The entire team are fuming at him. Had the final whistle. It's beautiful to see. He did it twice. He did it. The couple of years. There's this one bit of footage that I see him do it. And you could see the disdain on his face. And this isn't like, he's got previews for this as well. Do you remember against Bode Glimmton last year where they were talking about, I think one of their players was talking about the press or something along those lines. And he scored the goal or he set up the goal with a header. I think Solanke might have scored it.

28:53And he just stood in front of all of them. Like he takes things personally. He brings that into the game. Do you like that, Cal? Oh, I love it. He reminds me of a young felonious filth. He needs a hate figure. he just needs it he needs to have someone go right I hate you and that's that's what's going to get through get me through the game he's a brilliant captain Romero and I actually think he's really gone up a level and I think your your conversation with Alex was more than fair I think we've all felt like that about Romero I cares about Argentina more than us he's always injured fuck me I was sat there on transfer market counting the number of day number of games he's missed from injury like he was winding me up that much like it's it's normal I think we've all felt like that about him but I feel like definitely in the last 12 months he's the standards gone up in terms of how well he's played but also he's just developed into such a great leader over the last year I think I like to think of him as the player manager for that for our Europa League win and then this season yeah he got suspended which there was at least two of those yellow cards in the season were complete bullshit he gets yellow card just because he's Christian Romero um but yeah I love him I absolutely love him and what a coup sorry there's a point that Cal made that the yellow cards are because of Christian Romero what the annoyance for me and I shouldn't get annoyed by this is when the commentators jump in on it as well you know you've got Calga saying oh you know I love Romero but he's always going to get a booking and after the bookings are just are just so soft I don't think Romero's played that well this season to be fair he's a good captain I don't think his form has been that great but I think he's kind of got that Michael Jordan thing that I mentioned where that he needs that hate to kind of keep him going and keep him engaged and I think last night was just a good indication of maybe what we miss when he's not captain because Van der Ven doesn't have that sort of personality but Van der Ven kind of leads by his arm but it's not someone who's just going to be like you know what I'm going to risk getting kicked in the face to equalise for Spurs you know that's the sort of thing that Romero does and it's not worth digging him out for because Van der Ven is still young we think he's like 30 years old because of the way he plays and the way he carries himself.

30:58He's only about 23, 24 years old. And to expect him to be, because obviously Saturday at the Fulham game, I mean, he didn't come out well of that. He didn't really come out to say, you know what, we're sorry and we're going to come back stronger. That came from Vicario, which is based on something else. What do you make about that though, T? I want to throw a question back at you really, because what do you make of do you want your team to come out and apologize to fans because you know it's just, what are you doing? You're playing to the crowd, you know, it doesn't really mean anything, like if you're getting battered 5-0 away and your fans have traveled their spurs to fucking Wigan or somewhere and we've been battered 5-0 by Wigan at that point the club need to come out and go yeah right fair enough, we've fucked up, sorry but generally I want my players to have Romero's nature and being competitive about these things.

32:00And it isn't about apologising, it's about rebounding and being aggressive with it. And Romero carries these moments that he feels that he's been insulted, even indirectly, as Bruno's celebration really got under his skin. He took that into it. When he went forward and he connected with that cross from Kudus, that dive netter, and it went in the net. At least 20 % of that was about him being wound up by Bruno Gimrich. Yeah, yeah. It's not so much I want the players to apologise. The way football is in 2025, one, you've got to catch your team on a pitch. Two, you've got to kind of almost be PR for the team, whether it's body language, etc.

32:49etc. And Saturday was, you know, you've already done a podcast, but I could talk about that for hours about, you know, the way your players are led off the pitch and not clapping the fans and all of that. Maybe the captain's got to step in and say, you know what, you know, they were cunts for being Vicario, but you've got to at least face up to them, you know what I mean? Sort of thing. And I feel that Romero may well have done that. We'll never know. But Romero may well have said on Saturday after the game, look, you know what we've let the fans down you've got to go over there and just i can do i feel like van der then kind of lets it's almost like he lets poro just take the piss like look you've got to rain you've got to rain some of these players in and say look we need to have a united message even the united message is um fuck you which is fine or the united message has got to be we'll do better not saying that the apology makes it okay but it's a more case of just reading the room and just being able to know how to react to these situations T, if you're having sex with your missus...

33:50I've got to bring that memory, is that? Yeah, go on.