31 Minutes of Advice for the 20-30 Year Old Who “Needs” a Win

0:00Every second you spend thinking about what somebody else has is taking away from time that you could create something for yourself. You're losing. You're losing because you're laying in your bed looking at somebody's fucking glamorous photoshopped picture of them doing something cool and you're envious and you're jealous and you're impatient and it's crippling your upside. This is the Gary Vee Audio Experience. Thanks for joining another episode of Very First Win. I'm your host, Robert Hilmer, founder of Goana Capital. Today I'm probably more excited than usual. I'm a little more energetic than usual.

0:34I opened up the calendar this morning and I'm very pleased to have Gary Vaynerchuk here. Gary, how you doing? I'm good, brother. Thank you so much. I'm humbled by, I know how a passion you were to make this happen and that's always flattering to me and so I'm happy to be here. I did email you 215 times. Is that the actual number? No, I don't know. It was more than that, actually. Nice. All right, go ahead. I know we don't have a lot of time. I'm fire away. How do I help your amazing audience? So, look, I think one thing that's often overlooked is someone's very first win and how they got it done.

1:09What did they learn? Why do they remember it? And how you can talk to our audience about that? Just what do you remember as an important milestone in your life that really got shit going for you? Dude, I'm so pumped with you. I've talked about this very infrequently and as you were asking the question, it lit up like a Christmas tree in my brain and I'm gonna go into detail. I know my very first actual win that is the foundation of who I am right this second. In eighth grade, me and John Churchak and Jason Riker went to the Phillipsburg Mall to buy a table for a baseball card show. And we had no idea how much the table would cost to set up on Saturday and Sunday at the Phillipsburg Mall, even though the show was Friday and Saturday and Sunday, we had school on that Friday a couple weeks later, so we couldn't do that.

2:05Maybe we could go at night, but I couldn't, so da-da-da. We're driving to the mall, and we all agree that if it's more than 50 bucks a table, we're not doing it, because that's crazy. And remember, with inflation and everything, this is rural New Jersey, 89, like 50 bucks was a lot of money. Like, for kids that are listening, a thousand is what it felt like, all right? We get to the mall, we're asking some of the mall people, where's the baseball card dealer for this show that we were supposed to meet? Because we knew he was there, because they were setting up for another show. And we found him.

2:38This enormous man comes out. I'm talking 350 pounds, T-shirt covering half his belly, like out of a fucking movie. I mean, I'm four foot four in eighth grade, right? And we go, how much is the table? And he goes, 150 bucks and we've got one left and it's not in a great location. I'll be straight with you boys. Before he says you boys, I say we'll take it. He shakes my hand, he walks away. I don't know if anyone has ever looked at me with more disgust than John Churchak and Jason Ryker at that moment. To this day. I'm all who I am. You know who I am now. so it makes sense that I did that. But that night, an hour later, when I was home, I was shitting my pants.

3:26I'm like, we're gonna lose all this money. This was so stupid. Like, I was 14, I was 13. We go do the show. At 9 a.m., the mall opens. At 11.30 a.m., because we all had our own cards. We all shared a table. At 11.30 a.m., I have sold$200 in trading cards and made$150 in profit. my life has never been the same. That was it, brother. That was my first win. My father, who was like really not, I talk about this a lot, was not around a whole lot. I caught him the night before, and to his credit, he said, you're gonna lose this money, but you're gonna learn.

4:14And I remember that very vividly, but I did not lose. And at that point, You know how a shark can sense one drip of blood in the ocean from like a trillion miles away? That morning in New Jersey, Phillipsburg, New Jersey, which is really Pennsylvania. It's by Easton, Pennsylvania. That morning in that mall in 1989 was the fucking moment of my life in hindsight. I haven't thought about it in a long time, but that was my first win. That's when I knew who I was and I'd become that person. I think what I admire most about you is, I think you realize this, but I think just watching you obviously from afar, I think you expose yourself to as many black swans as you can because you don't care if you lose but the implication of that is you're constantly getting exposure to some probability of unlimited upside and limited downside.

5:21That's right. That's what I see when I look at you. I see you just perpetually doing that. Let me give you a three-dimensional look into that, Robert. You might find it very fascinating because I found it fascinating when I had my own aha about this for myself with myself. Very little downside, but I'm not even attached or in touch or attached to the upside either. You've diagnosed that well. Now I'm gonna take you deep into my soul. It's even weirder than you think. I'm not even like energy, like when you just said it about the upside, that did not excite me. I'm in just some weird, I don't know, like I'm a weird entrepreneur, man.

6:08I feel like if all this passion was about piano playing that I would just sit in a room and play the piano until I died. What do you think, last question, what do you think young people, let's say 15 to 30 year olds, I know you'll say younger is older than that, but it's arbitrary. What do you think they're getting most wrong today as the world changes? The reverse of what I just said. They want to play the piano to play it in Carnegie Hall so the New York Times says they're the best and everybody throws roses at them and they get a million dollar check and they buy a BMW and they think it's awesome.

6:47I think they should read the, are you familiar with what tennis players see when they walk out onto center court at Wimbledon? Do you know what the quote is? I do not. I don't know the whole quote but it's essentially treating triumph and disaster as the same imposter. Yeah. And that's what you do. I, I, and back to your analogy, I would rip both my arms off to play center court finals, Wimbledon, because I love the game. Man, I would have been a psycho basketball player. I would have taken every last shot and I would have fucking handled winning and losing the game the exact same way. I would have been a good assassin or surgeon.

7:30There's just something when I'm in my game that everything gets real quiet. It's me with me, eye with eye, could give a fuck. This is what's so profoundly interesting to me about my public notoriety is that it happened because of my insanity and because of my love of communication and my deep need to try to provide karma and value and give back and gratitude. But if I didn't have those beautiful attributes, I don't believe I would be known at all. I would have been very comfortable just building. 99 % of my time is me playing in my cocoon of operations and building.

8:10What's the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? I check my phone. I'm a firefighter by trade. Like I have to make sure nothing horrible happened. I'm desperately needing that moment immediately that I didn't get 17 phone calls from my sister or my mom or dad or brother. And then next, I didn't get 10 or 15 calls from Marcus or Tim who run my London and Singapore operations, right? Then I exhale, see if the Jets and Nick's did anything weird, check my email and text and kind of go on my way. Get to the gym and start the day. I think one of the things that people struggle with is actually being very real with themselves.

8:51The difference between understanding who you are versus who you wish you were. And I think that's something that I'm always very fascinated by when I have a meeting like this. Like what kind of read do you have on yourself? and how, like, you know, I think I would struggle a lot if I didn't really genuinely know who I was. And then once you know who you are, you get more comfortable with what you're up to. So like if I asked you right now and I think it ebbs and flows when you're 28, when you're 32, when you're 57, like if I asked you right this second, like, what do you want to happen and like, what would you say?

9:32What do I want to happen with my creative projects or just with life or what way? Sure. All of it. All of it. What do I want to happen? I... Yeah, I want to have a life where I'm able to create with fun, create with a team. I want to put out content that affects people's lives for the better in terms of helping them feel good or better about themselves. and their relationships and cultivating relationships that are meaningful. I want to travel with my man and have property, international property and travel for fun and also for play and also a little bit of time for work but controlling and maneuvering life with ease and also impacting people for the better in the process.

10:20That's cool. What are you hoping, as you're rolling up to this office, what are you hoping for? for real by the way. Yeah, for real, for real. I mean there are like you know shit that I do not know. So I honestly just want to pick your brain about a couple of key things. And really like ideally like what I was hoping and what I expected like to get in a place where like I know you and I could. Hit me up. Start the process of building a relationship. Right. Okay. Let's start with this. If you want to, listening to what you said, the first thing I will tell you, the best thing, I think, I hope, I think the first best thing I can tell you is don't front.

11:02The number one mistake that people that aspire to the sentences that you just spit out of your mouth, the number one mistake they make is they try to over sell themselves because they think they need it to have people's attention. Try to over sell themselves. Correct. So, let me give you an example. whether it's life coach, inspirational figure, business coach, whatever form it takes, I think it's much smarter for you to talk to the world about your process of going through this than the advice that you think you should be giving them. Yeah, okay, that makes sense. And that's where people are struggling.

11:45I got real lucky. I've never said this, DRock, so pay real close fucking attention. I'm not sure that if the internet was around in its current form, that I would be as successful because at 22 and 23, I knew I was special and I might have not been patient enough to first build a business, first get experience. I didn't start talking to the world until I was 35.

12:11And I love to say to you, be patient, to you to be patient. I'm not sure if I would have been. I'd like to think I would have been, but the freedom of putting, like I love to hear myself talk. Like, you know, and I think anybody that has spot, like think about, so do you. And so do so many of you. Like that's what it is. And what's cool is when you actually say fuck it, then you start betting on your strengths. Do you know I was a businessman in a world where going to smart colleges was the only thing that mattered for businessmen? You were only a good businessman if you went to Harvard Business School.

12:49And then I reversed it. Like I'm like, I'm a DNF student. Like I curse. I don't dress the part. I do me. And then you know what happened? The world came to me. And so I would tell you that the best thing that you're going to walk out of here with is something that took me a long time to really realize is if you want to pull this off and you want people listening to you, there's only one thing. The truth. The fucking, and everybody says that fucking cliche term. Just beat yourself and all that shit. It's unbelievable how much that's the reason I'm winning. And I think it's easier when you have a level of success and it's harder when you're climbing up the ladder but I think that there's a lot of people who if they talked about the journey of the climb could win.

13:41I think it's the best piece of advice I can give right now to a bunch of 20 to 30 year olds that feel that they should be talking to the world and bringing value. talk about your journey of trying to find that voice and synthesize it properly versus, let me tell, go find, you know, because the problem is a 30, 40, 50 year old listening to your one minute rant video on Instagram, even if it's powerful, there's a level of cynicism of like, what do you know? Yeah. And I think that that's fair. And look, you could just be a whiz kid about the world and that exists, but I do think there's a smarter way to context it.

14:20You know, it's like starting the sentence of you should versus, you know it's funny, right now I can say you should because I built so much. But if I was at 20, it needed to be like my intuition says, and that changes everything. Or when I look at, or when I met with Gary today, the takeaway I got was, that's, got it? Yeah. Currently graduated college last May, and I'm trying to build my own business, brand, hustle, all that kind of stuff. And my question for you is, and I'm probably sure that a lot of people ask this or wonder the same thing. It's okay. How do you get over the stump of you're graduating and you feel all this pressure because you're trying to build something, but you're still so young, but you want to do this fast and grow it big?

15:13and I'm just in a rut and I can't get out of it, but I have a hustle and a drive that I know I'll be able to build something, but I'm just in this space that's not allowing me to. So let me help you. The space you're in is probably the macro micro issue. So it's macro patience, micro speed, right? So what do I mean by that? You need to be patient as fuck, Taylor. you're 22, 23 years old. Like what do you think's gonna happen overnight? Yeah, I know. So you need to be fast 7 a.m. to 2 in the morning every day but in the big picture you need to realize nothing good is gonna happen for the next six years.

16:00Okay. And do you think that I should just try every good idea that I think I have and just go for it all out or do you think I should stick with one thing at a time? I think the fact that you've even asked that question that you should taste flirting with a lot of different things because you'll be crippled by the what if if you don't. Even though that's not the perfect formula to build the biggest short-term wealth because you should go triple down on one thing instead of being half pregnant on nine. Okay. Taylor, let me tell you something. Let me ask you the pressure. Who are you, like are you trying to prove to yourself, to your siblings, to your parents, to the world?

16:42Who are you trying to prove that you're successful to or that this was the right call or you're gonna make it? That's what you have to figure out. That's a good question. What are you impatient for? What's the problem? You wanna buy a fuckin' Rolex? What's the rush? I feel like I've known that I'm meant to do something big. Me too. And I grew up in an entrepreneurial household. Me too. And so it's in my blood, it's in my bones. Good. And I feel like I watch all these other millennials hitting these huge, I guess, milestones in their life. What milestones? And then I'm just in here. Let's break it down.

17:20How old are you? I'm 22, I'm about to be 23. Okay. What milestone, please give me a millennial and the milestone they achieved that makes you feel like you're just sitting in fucking Buffalo. Well, I'm sitting in Buffalo, which is one thing I'm not happy about. That's right, because it's home to Buffalo Bills. Piece of shit team. But before you go there, forget about sitting in Buffalo. Who's the millennial and what's the milestone that's making you feel like you're sitting there? Go. The truth. Go. Well, honestly, there's people on social media, which definitely is not always true. But I watch, oh God, I guess the only thing on the spot I can think of is a a Kardashian or a Jenner, which is lame, but.

18:07Can we talk about this, please? Yeah, I feel like, sure. Like, you're telling me that Kylie Jenner's fucking trillion followers on Instagram makes you feel like you're just sitting there? No, I feel like the fact that she's already got a business started that's super successful. Did you factor in the fact that her sisters and mom architected something for 10 years while she was a teenager that she was able to walk directly into that gave her a springboard and that she had the financial capabilities of deploying ungodly amounts of plastic surgery and all the other variable things that she's been able to do to create that culture and that financial benefit?

18:51Yeah. Did you factor in that her mom is a ninja architect of business and created that framework? Yeah, and I feel like not many people give them the credit for that. I totally think that they built this empire. I agree, but what the fuck does that have to do with you? It has nothing to do with me, I know. No shit. Remember how I, I don't know if you saw this, where I said stop looking at your friend's shit, or whatever the fuck I put on Instagram? Yeah. I don't know if you saw it or not, but it doesn't matter. Like, you looking at the Kardashians is the most ludicrous horse shit I've ever heard in my life.

19:28Well, that's just the first thing that can pop into my head. Great, give me enough. Listen, we're here, we're here. Give me another one. There's a guy in London. I can't think of his name at the top of my head. I'm going to stop you right now. Okay. Let me give you some, I was going to say fatherly. I guess my father is 40. I know. I'll give you some massively older brother, uncle advice. You ready? Okay, yes. Every second you spend thinking about what somebody else has is taking away from time that you could create something for yourself. Yeah. You're losing. You're losing because you're laying in your bed looking at somebody's fucking glamorous photoshopped picture of them doing something cool and you're envious and you're jealous and you're impatient and it's crippling your upside.

20:15Yeah, because that's where I want to be and I know I'm not there yet. You haven't done shit. I know. So go do shit that actually gets you there so that you earn it instead of you dwelling that you're not there and hoping something's gonna happen. I don't know what's going through your mind. Yeah, well I guess I'm hustling on the side but I don't think I'm doing enough, I guess. You definitely aren't doing enough if you have enough time to fucking consume the content of a Kardashian and some boy in London. That's true. Taylor, listen to me. Taylor, listen. You've got to deploy patience and you've got to love the process.

20:49I'm addicted to the process of the battle scars, the setbacks, the lack of, you know. Taylor, I gave up my entire 20s, all of them. Imagine not doing anything fun or going anywhere for the next eight years, including Saturday and Sunday. That's what I did from 22 to 30. Every day I spent 15 hours a day in a liquor store, thought about a liquor store, built a liquor store, sold wine, like spent every day. Like this last weekend, don't lie to me, Taylor. What did you do this last weekend? What did you do fucking Friday, Saturday and Sunday? Tell me the truth. Don't bullshit me. Yeah, no bullshit.

21:24I'm helping my mom right now on digital media and branding for her company. Love you. and so I had a marketing meeting with one of the people doing that. Love you. And then I also... How much time did you have for yourself on Saturday and Sunday that was not working every minute? Tell me the truth. A lot, a lot. I know. So that's the punchline, right? Now imagine this, when I tell you this. You spent more downtime on not your career this weekend than I did in my entire 20s combined. Oh shit, okay. That puts things into perspective. I think so.

22:09Awesome. I think so too. Yeah, I need to just get to it. Taylor, you need to do me a huge favor. If you really want to win and you want to come to New York in eight years and shake my hand, here's what you need to do. You need to stop giving a shit about what anybody else has and realize that if you put your head down and just work for the next 10 years, no glamour, no new fucking car, suitcase, jewelry, trip, event, no Coachella, no fucking new fucking sneakers, like fucking work, you will have it. And every time you care about one of the things I just mentioned, it will slow down your process of having it.

22:46Okay, so in less than eight years, when I'm a millionaire by 25, I'll come shake your hand. I promise you that statement itself made me 100 % guarantee that you won't. No. Yes, yes. That's how this works. Being a millionaire at 25 when you're 22 and you're a dick shit and haven't even started is inconceivable unless you fucking hit the lotto. What's the romance? What's the romance? I want to make, you know how everybody says, Gary Vee, when are you going to buy the Jets in two years? And then I reply, 20 years? I'm romantic about the journey and the process, which is why I'm actually going to pull it off.

23:22You're trying to be a millionaire by 25. How, Taylor? Taylor? It's just a goal I've always had. Why? And right now with what I'm doing I guess it's not. That's right. It's an arbitrary bullshit thing that means nothing.

23:39Yeah. Wouldn't you rather guarantee millionaireship by 36 than by doing long term marathon running versus doing a bunch of bullshit sprints that guarantees never having it? And I promise you a funny thing happens to your self-esteem when you're 31 and not a millionaire because you've been chasing fast fucking cash and you're now six years removed from not hitting your goal your self-esteem starts fucking with your head. Yeah. Listen carefully. I want to buy the New York Jets but when I clarify it to everybody I want the process of trying to buy the New York Jets more than buying the New York Jets.

24:15Understand? Yeah. Yeah, because ultimately that's the end goal, but there's a process behind that. You have to understand, I don't give a fuck about the end goal. I care about the process, the enjoyment of doing it. You're not enjoying yourself trying to get to a million bucks over the next three years. No.

24:38You're right. Oh, I know I'm right. I'm just sticking on this right now because I feel like we've gone into this deep enough that I might as well hold on for a couple more minutes to see if I could actually pull you through instead of you just being on this high of practicality for 36 hours and then going back to Instagram bullshit in 48 hours. I need to deactivate that shit. No, you need to learn the discipline to be able to put it in the proper bucket. Yeah. I just feel like I hold myself at this pedestal and it's crippling myself because I'm not actually doing the things to get there. Of course.

25:13So you're playing a fake narrative instead of putting in the actual work that's needed to actually pull it off. Wishing instead of executing.

25:23And then what's happening is you're living a fake world to yourself, but you know it, which then changes your behavior in the way that you interact with others. It's true. I know. Like, for all my bravado now, I was real quiet in my 20s. People made fun of me. Like, you work in your dad's liquor store? I'm in Wall Street making$100 ,000. I got a BMW. I'm like, that's nice, Pat. Yeah. Do you understand the level of disrespect I have for Pat? Do you understand the level of disrespect I have for all those 20, 30, 40, 50 year olds flashing shit on fucking Instagram with short term moves? I can't wait for the fucking world to melt.

25:59I can't wait for all these bullshit people to get fucking hosed out when the economy gets shit. Yeah, it's because they're short term affording these things that are flashy, but in the long term, it's not sustainable for what they're doing right now. Yeah, but meanwhile, you're admiring the fuck out of them. I know, it's a problem. No shit, Taylor. It's really bad. Taylor, you need to start fucking loving the process and the work and the grind. You need to start respecting people that are sleeping with four roommates and buying their t-shirts at Walmart. Yeah, you know what? I feel like I need that wake up, but I feel like I need to hit rock bottom and just have that wake up.