How to Break Free from Your Comfort Zone at Any Age | Tea with GaryVee ep. 63

0:00This is the Gary Vee Audio Experience. Hey everybody, actually, if you're a really hardcore listener and you know I never do this, I'm sorry to be jumping in the middle of the podcast. If this podcast has ever meant anything to you, please go to Spotify or Apple right now and leave a review. By the way, even if you give me a one-star review because you think it's shit, I respect it. But just leave a review, an actual review. Four or five stars and the actual details of why. Yeah, that would mean something for me. So thanks. Now back to the podcast. It's empty-handed with Gary Vee this morning, this Monday morning here in New York City.

0:31Great to see everybody. Let's get into the first guest. Hi, what's your name and where are you from? Hey, I'm Christina. I'm from Illinois. Very nice to see you, Christina. So my question is, I've been trying to start a grief coaching business, but I'm dealing with my own grief and I'm sick all the time. I have COPD. My question is, how can I stay inspired and motivated when I feel defeated? Well, it sounds very hard to start a business teaching others how to deal with grief if you haven't figured it out yourself. Literally my Instagram post that I posted this morning is about having a strong foundation.

1:06I don't know if you saw the steel and concrete in the building. Couple things. Don't beat up yourself if you're not ready to build the business for grief. If I'm you, I'm figuring out my own grief first. So Christina, I think that you need to give yourself a little grace. You know what I mean? I think that there's a little bit more time. So many people try to start consulting and coaching businesses on things they haven't, haven't finished or completed themselves yet. You understand what I'm saying, right? I think it's okay for you to give yourself a little bit more time. In fact, I'd rather you put your energy into getting further along with your own grief than spending your energy on trying to start a grief coaching business.

1:47In fact, even the way you asked the question, I think the answer to your question is to give yourself a little bit more time to get all the way there. Put your resources and your energy, your emotion and your monies to getting yourself into a stronger place and then you can start from a place of authenticity, your own actually griefing business. Does that make sense? Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was, you know, I had a lot, not a lot in my life. So my thing is a life coach, but I focus on grief because of the passing that I've had in my life. I think that's beautiful that you're focusing on that because I think so many people don't give themselves enough room, time, and grace when dealing with grief or a loss.

2:28So, baby, I think you just need to give yourself a little time, honestly. And you cannot make grieving the central operating system of your life. It needs to be the side dish, not your main meal. It's very heavy. It's a negative energy. It's very heavy. Look, mashed potatoes and vegetables and green beans and mushrooms and asparagus, like salad, those are important parts of the meal. I'm not saying push it aside. I'm not saying put it all the way down there and not deal with it but try to make it the secondary energy try to find if you're grieving yourself and then your whole life is about being a grieving coach you're just gonna be fucking grieving a lot and I think it's time for a little fucking joy do you understand?

3:08and like this this smile that you're giving me is what I want like I think you need to so I think you need to please please find your balance okay? okay how are you my friend? what's your name? Alex Alex, where are you from? Very good. Where are you from, brother? Originally from Brazil, but I live in Miami. Very nice, my friend. What's your question? My question is, I'm 34 years old, right? And I've been working with Event Productions for five years now. I like what I do, but I don't really love what I do, right? You don't love it? I don't love it. I really love it. Is it too late to change my career path?

3:47At 34? 34? I mean, I know what you're gonna say, but I mean. Well, let me ask you a question. Instead of me saying you're young and you know what I'm gonna say, what do you think? Because you're talking to somebody who changed his career path at 34. At 34, I worked at my father's liquor store building a business for him. And at 34, I started VaynerMedia. And just to remind you, we did$83 ,000 in the first six months of VaynerMedia in sales. So we were a very small company. you're talking to somebody who changed his career at 34. So what happened is in Brazil, I had my own, you know, advertising ages for 10 years, right?

4:24Okay. And then it was super hard to, you know, grow that company. So that's why I decided to move to United States and start from scratch again from zero. So I kind of want to go back and do my own thing, you know, create my own business, but I'm kind of scared. You know, I have a very good salary now. I got it. You're asking the right question. How bad do you want it? Most people aren't asking me, is it possible to change my career at 34, 39, 45? They're asking me, Gary, do you think I have the humility to live humbly for the next three years and eat shit to build up my future happiness because I'm in a jail called my salary and my status?

5:06Well, I'm very comfortable, I mean, yeah. Alex, let me ask you a question. What do you want more? Do you want the fucking comfort? Or is it burning a fucking hole in your heart that you want to live your future. And both, by the way, I'm gonna say something very important, Alex. Both are okay. You don't have to go fucking shoot for the movie. Like, it doesn't seem like you're devastated. I like what I do, I just don't love it. I mean, I think, you know, I can do more. I'm kind of, you know, I'm at, you know, the peak that I can go here in this company, I can't grow anymore. Like, I'm a director, you know, a creator director, so there's nowhere else to go, right?

5:40My point of view is that you jump because if it doesn't work out for three years, you're 37, you go right back to being a creative director somewhere else. Got it. That's the part that I think people miss. The part that people miss is if you go for it and you leave your cush and you sell your, like I'm talking about everybody now, and you sell your house and go rent. Or you no longer go on nice vacations. or you can't buy every fancy thing or you can't order out to dinner every night and use Postmates and fucking go out to dinner on Friday and Saturday or you can't drink$35 martinis anymore. My point of view is if you go backwards and you go for happiness, love, you go for the thrill, you go for the upside, if God forbid it doesn't work out, you just go right back to a fucking job.

6:25Jobs are gonna be always fucking, you have time. In fact, you're a more interesting candidate for a lot of companies at 37, and trying it for three years because they've seen you done the other thing for 10 years. Yes, I know what I mean. And I've been doing a lot of things like side projects and trying to do both things, but I mean, it doesn't work, right? You have to fully commit it to something and go for it. I mean, I've been for years, you know, I did like NFT project, I did my own, you know, a freelance agency, I did all of that, but I don't have the time. I work like 14 hours a day, you know, 12 hours a day here.

7:00So it's, you know. I think you should go for it because I think at 30 you'll always regret not going for it if it's already bothering you at 34 you're very young and you can get that kind of job you know alright got it alright good luck brother great to see you take care Alex coach fire away where are you from? I'm originally from New Jersey I'm out here in D.C. what part of Jersey baby? right now big fan man thank you brother let's go Jets just want to say let's go Jets what a fucking mess I'm sorry. I love you though. What part of yours? Thank you, brother. And yeah, I'm just, I'm trying to stand out on LinkedIn, man.

7:40I got a small family. I'm trying to spread time out with the family and building the business. I've been following you for a long time, trying to send out those jabs and trying to build business, man. What's the business, brother? I'm a corporate wellness, health and fitness provider. And... So you're trying to get, You're trying to get to B2Bs so that they hire you for their corporation. And you're focused on LinkedIn? I'm pushing into LinkedIn right now, yeah. Just starting? Yeah, I mean, I'm on it, I've been on it, but I haven't been pretty much. But you've been bullshitting? Yeah. All right, so what's holding you back?

8:19Man, I almost feel like I've gotten to a point where I've grown really well organically. I feel like I've been doing really well with the company. I feel good at where I'm at but I know I need to grow but I feel good at where I'm at I got young kids well good I mean hold on let's talk about chapters in life you've brought it up twice right now let's bring value to people there are chapters in life when there was times when I was starting my family where I didn't go as hard you know like you know I just wanted more allocation there was times when I went harder even though I had little kids it was a moment in time as you know I don't really share my personal life that much but over the last 20 years I've had different chapters different seasons in my personal life and my business life has followed that.

9:03It sounds like you're solid. You have two kids under five? One day one's two. Great. First of all you have to go to vfriends.com slash cartoons. I'm there. I'm gonna be very upset if I don't see a tweet with the back of your heads of the kids heads watching on YouTube the VFriends cartoons. That's number one. Number two number two I think personally, I think that you're just in a really cool chapter right now. It sounds like the business is solid and you've got a nice work-life balance and don't fucking try to impress me or anybody else that you're going hard. I think going hard is finding the balance that works for you and your partner and the kids.

9:47I think you're in a nice spot right now. How do I know when to go out of it? I've been in this for like two years now, I kind of feel like, and I'm not sure. You feel complacent and worried that the business might decline because you're not going hard? No, because it's still growing slowly, but I know I see opportunities that I miss, and I see where they go. Tell me all the truths to the following questions. What time do you work? I work like all day, four days a week, from like sun up to sun down, and then... So what does that mean? Give me hours. I'm seeing clients. I'm networking. No, no, I apologize.

10:30I apologize. Dead hours. What time do you wake up every morning? Don't bullshit me. Like 5.30. Epic. And then what? And then I take care of the children until breakfast time so my wife can wake up. All right, first of all, you're already in like father of the year category. Keep going. I'm being dead fucking serious. I'm trying, man. I'm trying. Does your wife work? Yeah, I retired her from working. She's working full time for the company now. Understood, keep going. And so when I'm not working, she's working on the business basically. And when I'm with the kids, she's working on the business.

11:07When she's with the kids, I'm working on the business. So what the fuck's the problem? I don't know when the complacency should stop, I feel. It sounds like you guys are fucking, what are you talking about? It sounds like you guys are going fucking hard. you're either with the kids or you're working doesn't sound like you're doing anything else. I'm never satisfied, Gary. Well, good. You know, that's fine. But like, then it becomes a question of what are you doing when you're working? Right? So this, no longer is this a how many hours are you putting in? Now it becomes, are you good at executing while you're awake?

11:38So people are flabbergasted when I tell them that I sleep seven or eight hours a day. Right? They're like, what the fuck? And I'm like, it's because when I'm awake those 16 or 17 hours, I'm crazy efficient. Yeah, I think that set a light bulb when you set it. It hit you, right? You're just, and I've been in this moment, brother, where you're just going through the motions. You may need to hire someone to take care of your dumb shit. You probably can feel that you're doing a lot of dumb shit and you need to be more on the attack. And I think getting a minimum wage employee or something you could afford, I think could be a real hit for you.

12:09It's not always how many hours you work. It's how productive you are in the hours that you work. There's some people that work eight hours a day that crush people that work 15 hours a day. Cause they're fucking good at the eight hours and other people fucking suck at their 15 hours. Yeah. No, that's true, man. Yep. I got you. Use this moment of serendipity that we're together to fuck, don't take this moment and now in a week be in the same place. Act. I'm gonna go write a list right now. But fucking act on the list. Cause the amount of fucking lists that people make that they don't use. You know what fucking pisses me off more than anything in life?

12:46A fucking list. A list that people don't act on. You better fucking execute on it. Yeah, whiteboard, whiteboard right here. Yeah, fucking, whiteboard, a fucking list, a fucking 2024 notes on your fucking iPhone, that little yellow fucking app that I never fucking use because I don't fucking make lists, I fucking do shit. Don't fucking make me a list, my man, and don't do anything about it. I need fucking execution against the fucking list. All right, all right, all right. All right, my man, love you, see ya. Hello brother, a huge fan of you Gary from Pakistan. It's a pleasure my friend, big love to everyone in Pakistan.

13:20So I have just a question, you know, I listen to you, I make reels, I make theory for my LinkedIn content, I'm posting like 30 to 40 contents per day, but the thing is I feel like I've been stuck, like I'm just making reels, I'm just doing theory and I'm just doing YouTube Shorts. It's like, you know, I don't know how to innovate and be creative more. How can I make more content on TikTok? How can I make more content on LinkedIn? How should I proceed forward? Just a little brief, my business is about pet industry. Are you still doing the green screens? Yeah, I do every day. So I think you should go live.

14:00I think you should go live on Instagram and TikTok and answer people's questions. You should literally do exactly what I'm doing because it will force you to make new content and then you can clip it from your live and you have new content. You can break out of creative ruts by bringing the community into you and answering questions. Now you're receiving energy instead of creating energy. Instead of using your brain to create ideas out, you're using the community to bring ideas in. Do you understand? Yeah, yeah, that's it. You got it? Another thing, yeah, another thing, just to mention, I'm also doing my personal branding as well.

14:37where i'm posting on linkedin about my industry i'm also doing this you know uh my personal branding on linkedin as well and on other platforms as well you know it's just not about those 30 contents and posting it's like 20 more of my personal branding you know because as you said you know content is not like how much you should post it's like how good it is how creative it is and what kind of you know help or motivation it brings to the people quality quality quality and and quantity are both very important. But I think for you, my friend, what I can feel is you have to bring the community in.

15:09Start doing more lives and start doing Q &A sessions live, okay? Yeah, yeah, that's fun. All right, my friend, love you, good luck. Talk to you soon. Walters, what's good, brother? Hey, how's it going? Great, my friend, where are you from and what do you do? Yeah, so I'm from Oklahoma. I have a day job, but I am doing bartending on, as my own company called The Walters. And I recently broke into more of the consumable side of things, started making simple syrup. I thought that went well with the actual bartending side of things. I recently went to an event this past weekend and handed out a bunch.

15:47And there's this company called Not Your Average Joe's Coffee, who supports really good causes and a lot of people like their why behind their what. And so they came up to me and they said they wanted to do like a partnership deal. But I started making the Simple Serps about two months ago. And they have a ton of locations around Oklahoma. And if I do end up partnering with them, I'm going to need basically a better way to make them. First, how do I prepare for a partnership conversation? And secondly, how do I get to that size to where I can produce that much? with almost upfront capital. Honesty and humility.

16:31Let's break it down. On the partnership side, it's honesty. Don't try to front and act bigger than you are. You need to tell the coffee company, I'm flattered as fuck, but I'm eight fucking weeks in. I'm eight weeks in. I know I've got it. You know I've got it, which is why you guys want to do something with me. But I have to be honest with you. I don't feel like I'm ready for that level of scale. And I want to be upfront with you because I don't want to let you down. what that will lead to that level of honesty may lead to believe it or not them being the people that want to put in the capital to help you grow like if you said that to me and I could feel that you're like literally I felt it and I looked at the chat and someone said the kids got it I literally felt I don't know if you can see the goosebumps I can literally feel like you've got it which makes me think of a group of entrepreneurs or operators who built up that coffee company and probably know you've got it too if you come in with levels of humility and honesty like I just told you they may overly react and be like oh fuck we want to support this kid because we caught a future tiger by the tail and they themselves may be the people that fund you and even help you on the manufacturing side since they're already there and you know you're going to need a manufacturing partner and that's a good game of Google and networking in fact email me at gary at vfriends.com and break down what you're making, I'll send it to my people and they'll give you two or three people that might be able to help you.

17:58I will, definitely. Thank you. Always tell the truth even if you want to be in a place where you're like, whoa. I get where you don't know how to fully play it because this is a big opportunity, but I'm telling you the humility and the honesty. The double H combo of humility and honesty when you're talking to somebody who's above you, always over index. Logan, what's good, brother? Where are you from? What are you doing? I'm from Grand Rapids. I currently stay in Detroit. Very nice. First, I want to say thanks for bringing me on. I've been watching you since I was like 16. I love it, Logan. Welcome.

18:3524 now. Amazing. I'm humbled. So basically, I've been doing a lot of music video, production work, etc. Grinding that out. I moved to Detroit when I was 18 for it. I was living in a studio apartment. I made into a whole like music video set up was living there showering at the YMCA building up like an income for it um I ended up transitioning getting in the house for myself and then I've been working on scaling that I've been actually uh I just got my first retainer this week moving to kind of like corporate and my my main question for you was you know like as you were creating your agency and scaling it from the very start, what would you suggest for someone like me who kind of came from nothing, putting every dollar back into this stuff?

19:33Well, I think the recommendation you don't need, you've already decided to go for it. It's all just perseverance and patience and making sure you over-deliver to clients. Make sure that you're communicating very heavily to this client the whole time, making sure what she or he likes and wants and needs. the other thing I would recommend is as you start bringing people on I'm a big fan of bringing homies to the table the first five or six employees we had at VaynerMedia were all my brother's friends from high school and college my manager is basically my best friend my grandma's kind of like my accountant I love it yeah bro I would start really with that crew and honestly it's going to be patience the biggest issue and this is why I always talk about it in my content the only reason when I hear that level of fucking hunger, when I hear showering at the fucking, bro, no shit.

20:24Because when I hear showering at the YMCA, I lose my mind. Like I want to invest in every person that ever showered at the YMCA because it's black and white to me, that level of humility and hunger. But the problem with humility, excuse me, the problem with hunger is oftentimes it's not coming with humility and patience and people get fucked up. I've seen 22 year old you get fucked up so many times in my career because you wanted it too fast That I was going down that lane for Right around to the age of 18 when I made that move to move and go full-on I like I thought about it before I actually went about doing it for so long So when you make that final move to say all right let's proceed with this and stop caring about everything else and just go full blown.

21:15Yeah, when you go full blown and you can't hear anybody else, it's game over. The biggest issue for all 700 people that are watching right now and the tens of thousands that will watch this content in the future is they just give a fuck about other people's opinions. And they live their life based on fucking other people's opinions. So anyway, to answer your question, make sure you're over communicating with the client that you do have make sure that you're making content or making moves or emailing or phone calls or networking to get more clients. It's more clients, keep clients. More clients, keep clients.

21:49More clients, keep clients. And then bring on homies, bring on homies, bring on homies. Okay. Got you? I appreciate it very much. Logan, I'm rooting for you, bro. Stay well, got you. Dennis, how are you? Where are you from? What do you got? Originally I'm from Ukraine, but last year I live in UK. London, yeah. Yeah. Very nice. I wonder why. I'm sorry, brother. Yeah. So actually, it's probably my question. I just, I'm not sure. Should I go ahead with my question or talk about myself a bit? Whatever you want. Whatever you want. Yeah. So probably like you already mentioned. So my best question, if it's happened to you, if you like already have, you know, not bad life.

22:29So like you rent all your own apartment in the middle town. You have your second car. your own i mean you have like small business and like work happened to you so and you should build your you know because when work uh started so i'm from khartiv it's very close to russian abroad and two months i help i have great people from dangerous area so and then i'm not really have something too much left in ukraine so it's like one way ticket to new life and if you need build to your second life and it's happened with you in 25. What's you gonna do? I know what you're saying because I watched my father do it.

23:09My father left the former Soviet Union and at 24 years old came to America and we lived in a studio apartment with fucking eight family members and he fucking picked up garbage outside the house and would sell it at the flea market and then he got a job as a stock boy in a liquor store and I watched him build his life. What I know is that so many people from the part of the world that you and I come from over the last hundred years have been uprooted by war and have gone to other places to start their lives again. You know, what would I do? My intuition based on my chemicals and my DNA and who I am, I would fucking eat shit and restart and build a bigger fucking empire.

23:46And that's what you're gonna do. That's exactly what you're gonna do. Yeah, actually, actually it's what I try to do my best with that. All you have to do is stay patient and not think about what you used to have and focus on what you're gonna have. Life is very simple, my man. It's what you decide to look at becomes your life. And so if you decide to look at this as a huge opportunity and because you're so talented, you're now in a bigger game in London versus a smaller game in Ukraine. And it sucks that you lost what you used to have, but you're excited because you're only 25. There's people who've been uprooted their lives into Ukraine who are 59 and that's harder.

24:26You're a fucking kid. so you have your whole fucking life in front of you to build again, that's the fucking game. I'm already 27, I just already probably... I don't give a fuck. 27 and 25 is the same fucking shit, Dennis. You think there's a fucking difference between 25 and 27? Yeah, I feel like I've become old. Well, because you're a fucking idiot. What do you mean you became fucking old? You're 27 fucking years old. You're a fucking child. Yeah, sorry, I still have a bit of shock, you know, like I just can't like accept it and believe you can just speak to your followers or someone. Yeah, because you know, I find you like before I find you just some some few ages ago in LinkedIn, some would be like real or something like that.

25:08And not really a keeper keep eye on you. So I just probably it's happened a few months ago or maybe three. So and you know, I something left common on LinkedIn and some probably guys come or like give me lingo to Instagram and I have actually a nice chat with this camera and he not really something to chat for me or I mean and he looks like really you but he just listen yeah I mean he not inspiring you know talk like you but he just listen my story what like you gonna do and just he ghosted me so like I guess maybe he's real but then I just find this your title I don't have telegram channel so everybody I I do not have a telegram.

25:51People are trying to rip off on telegram. Please, I do not have a telegram. Thank you, brother. Listen, Dennis, I feel very optimistic about you. I swear, I feel it. If you were good enough to do it in the Ukraine, you're gonna be even better at it doing it in the UK. Do not be confused. And you've got plenty of time. Promise. Niazostro. Love you, brother. Massega, how are you, brother? I'm good, how are you? Can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you. Go ahead, my friend. So my question is, how do you balance being the bigger person with kind candor when dealing with toxic people? There's only two ways.

26:29One, by cutting the toxic person out of your life, even if it is a very close relative. Cutting or limiting or limiting. If your mother's toxic and you talk to her two times a day and she's toxic, you don't want to never talk to your mother again. but talking to your mother once a week instead of two times a day can work. Number two, accepting that your parent in this situation had a very toxic upbringing and that you're okay with that and that you will be the bigger person. You feel bad for her, not for you. And that goes for employee, that goes for spouse, that goes for brother, that goes for father.