How to Build Confidence Without Arrogance: The Ultimate Guide to Resilience

25:56I think this hoodie's in the store. I know a lot. I got the black cat one. Oh, Patient Panda's in there? I got the black cat, y 'all. Can I do a giveaway? Oh, let's do this. Everybody, I'm giving away a signed book. Actually, I'm going to sign it directly for the person that wins. Can you do a book giveaway? I have to rip this page out, though, because I was starting to sign it for somebody named Ross. That is now not true. Sorry, Ross. All right. Next question. If people don't want to let me down, you said that means you're doing a good job. Why do you say that? Well, if you're doing such a good job that people around you don't want to let you down, that means you've earned love and respect from them because nobody is worried about letting someone down that they fucking hate.

26:46In fact, if you're a bad manager or boss, people are purposely letting you down, but they're doing it in a clever way to make sure you don't realize it because they actually don't like you.

26:58Watch this, Raghav. Everybody, who's worked for someone that they despised, really didn't enjoy working for, and you were cute and clever and navigated to be able to work at 50 % of your capacity because you disliked the person so much, and so you worked in a way that didn't get you fired, but you did way less than you could have, put 50 % in the chat, put five zero percent. Watch this, here they all come. Watch how many you're about to see. You understand? that brother and you're out here working late at night because you love me so much and you know what I'm doing and you're going 110 % and that's that and that's why VaynerMedia beat everybody I knew the ad world had a bunch of fucking jerk offs leading them and I knew I could kill them on just kindness let alone my smarts my work ethic my strategies on just kindness and that is why we have a character in VFriends called the kind warrior because kindness, and I know everyone's like, they don't get it because they're not emotionally intelligent enough.

28:09But kindness is the ultimate advantage in life. Nice guys, I'm kind Gary, nice guys finish last. They sure don't. Nice guys who manipulate kindness to try to get an outcome from someone and then cry and wah-wah that they were nice when they were actually just trying to be clever, finish last. Because you're a manipulator. Kindness means being kind without expectation. How many of you do kind things without expectation? You know how many people are like, oh Gary, I did this, and like now. No, no. My friends, kindness is giving without expectation. Let's keep it going. Next question. Gary, you mentioned that you lead with optimism.

28:56you always start with optimism. Optimism, and it seems like optimism is the offense play. Yes. And a lot of people are playing out of defense or fear. Yes. How do you get people to play optimism offense? By becoming confident in yourself and loving yourself and realizing if somebody bitches you or punks you or fucks you up, that's on them, not you.

29:26That's it? Right? Does everybody understand that? Y 'all, do you understand that if someone breaks up with you, somebody steals from you, somebody fires you, somebody makes fun of you, somebody pushes you, do you understand that that's on them, not you? Do you? Because, Sammy, I don't think that's how almost everybody They think they go in and blame themselves.

29:58That's how I'm, now, Sammy, if you understand that, that's the answer to your question. Why do I give everyone love? Because if they fuck me, I don't feel like it's my fault. So why would I be scared of people? All of you that say things like, Like, well, trust's got to be earned. Who are you? You like that one, Rant? I've always liked that from you, and I think it's good that we're all learning that and just giving full trust everywhere, even in processes of work. Yes, that's why our team, when our team captures my essence, we cook. My shit works, you know why? Because it's not mine. My mom gave it to me, and somebody gave it to my mom.

30:46You know, she lost her mom at five, so I think it's her mom, but it's God-given. Like, it's love versus hate out here, y 'all. And everyone's confused because hate's on a heater right now. Like, love had to call a timeout. Hate went on a 13-0 run out here, and everyone's confused. But we're only down 43-41.

31:11Love always wins. who just joined me for the first time on this live stream and is thrilled right now because they realize they just found the accountable and optimistic part of the internet ayo who is excited that they stumbled here the fyip brought you you have no idea how you got here and you are thrilled because you found the accountable, because I'm going to keep it honest as shit with you, because everything's your fault, and optimistic, but everything can be solved. The A-O part of the internet. Who was brought by the FYP and wants to kiss the FYP right now? Who wants to kiss their FYP because you stumbled on it here?

32:05Lou Sass says I don't. Respect, Sassy. All right, let's keep it going. Next question. G, a mother of a 12-year-old with cerebral palsy has credited their child for being an entrepreneur, so shout out to them. I love that. But she noted he sometimes will get self-conscious. Anything you would say to them? Well, that makes a lot of sense. People out here that are the wealthiest, most physically fit, most attractive, most bling, get insecure. Cerebral palsy is very understandable. like being 12 is very understandable. What I would just say is have these real conversations with him, mama. Tell him he's the best because he is.

32:47Tell him what life's really about.

32:52Right? It's all about love. It's all about effort. It's all about accountability. It's all, you know, that's it.

33:03Simplify life, y 'all. Give yourself love and grace. give others love and grace. We're all just trying out here. Who are we trying to impress? Lori, good to see you. Finally caught you live. My content is crushing. How do I track brand deals? Go, Anthony. DM brands. If your content's crushing, DM the brands that you think will buy from you. Be like, hey, look, if you're making coffee content, go to the Maxwell House and Folgers and Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts account and DM them and be like, yo, my coffee content's crushing. You want to chop it up? You know what I find funny, Court? All these dudes that I talk to that are really good at sliding in the DMs for a hookup, they spend hours trying to think about a proper thing to say to the pretty girls on the gram, but then can't do it in business.

33:53Are scared bitches to do it to Folgers Coffee, but can do it to a 10 that's out of their league. I find those dudes funny. Those dudes are funny to me, Matthew. Right? Right, Tony? Like, boys be, girls know, everyone's going in here. Girls know. These guys slide in the DM. What's really funny, I talked to a girl that said, the guy had so much riz, was like super not, like, attracted, but he got her, and then they were like, we're a couple, and this guy can't get a job. He can slide in for the hookup, but he can't slide in to get a job. And look at all the replies here. People know. I know I'm not lying.

34:37Trap, trap, trap. I'm not sick, guys. This is what my voice does sometimes. Like it's just where it's at. What's the next trend? There's so many, but live shopping is the biggest opportunity for all of you. Like, right? Chris says that's wild. It's true though. Said 100 DMs, no replies. Go for it, Anthony. 100's not enough. This is what people don't understand. Like, people don't get it. Like, if you want something, it needs to be a million. Like, I don't know, like when you want something, it's gotta be all in, all in, all in. Next question. G, you alluded to this, but do you feel like as AI keeps advancing, going live on platforms becomes almost more valuable because - Yes.

35:30I got a better one for you. Even going live on the internet will be done by AI. You know what's about to explode? Analog. The real world. Everybody who's been yearning for more real world, good news, it's coming. Live events, getting together, going bowling, taking a hike.

35:58The real world, OG, analog, it's gonna explode, explode.

36:11The real world is gonna explode. Me doing this on the corner of the street. As we go 2050, we're going back to 1850. I'm gonna be in the town square being like, y 'all, you see the book, y 'all? Come and grab my book, y 'all. It's gonna go, as we go 2050, 1850 behavior's gonna win. All right, let's keep it going. Next question. Gee, someone wants to know, what's the best way to get feedback and constructive criticism from people in your orbit, whether you wanna speak to yourself, how you do it, or just general advice? Making people feel safe. Once you feel safe with yourself, you can be honest with yourself.

36:49Once you love yourself, you're honest with yourself. When you make other people feel safe and you have a real relationship and you ask, Court asked me today. And that's because we feel safe because we have a journey. So it's safety that leads to being able to get people to give you real feedback. Safety, safety, safety. Next question, everybody. Gary, when it comes to live shopping, right? More people are going to be doing live shopping. How, like what advice would you give to like sell yourself on live shopping authentically? So like, do you get, you know what I mean? Yeah, I think I know what you mean.

37:26I mean, look, I think that people connect with people and I think people connect with people that are authentically themselves. Watch this, Sammy. Yo, everybody, how many of you, when you first came across me, did not like me and I felt like too much? You didn't like the cursing? you weren't sure if I was full of shit or not and now you like me. Say that was me. That you didn't like me. That you did not like me. That you were cynical. That you did not like me. Say that was me. Right? Nifty says totally. So look at all these people that are saying me, right? And other people, watch this. How many people loved me from the first second?

38:03They're like, oh, this is that Jersey boy with a heart and soul. I love this. Say loved you from the start. Say you loved me from the start. So what happens is I'm being authentic, which is why I'm creating such visceral reactions on both sides. Got it, Sammy? Did everybody understand that? Like to be a person that has an aggressive reaction to two extremes right away means you're being authentic. Everyone's vanilla out here, Sammy. That's why people aren't breaking through because everyone's trying to appease everyone, not themselves. I'm trying to make myself proud.

38:45Mmm. Did everybody understand that? I'm trying to make myself proud. Thus, I'm okay with the two most dangerous things in the world, Sammy. Extreme hate, and watch me now, extreme overpraise. Got it, Sammy? you've got to know me a little bit, right? You're starting to, you're not here every day, but like, right? You can see like, I'm just regular. I'm just moving. Right? I'm way less fancy than they would think. Right, Sammy? You've just started working here. I'm sure friends are like, what's it like? What are you saying? It's what you see is what you get. That, that. And what they see is someone who's ambitious and excited and silly and ridiculous, but is deeply loving and desperately wants it for everyone else.

39:40Do you know why I want it for everyone else, Sammy? Why? Because I already have it.

39:49When you have unlimited candy and you're eating it all the time, do you know what you do with all your candy? Share it. Yes, Sammy. You share it. I'm fucking good. So what do you think I'm doing out here? Do you all understand? P-Dice, I'm working on it. Got it all? Does everyone get it? Do you get it? Doesn't it make sense? I'm not trying to gatekeep my knowledge. The second I realize live shopping's happening, I yell. Sports cards, I yell. I'm not trying to hoard anything to myself. I'm gonna get mine. I love you guys. Oda, good to see you. Hi Anthony, always good to see you. I'm very stuck at 57.

40:40Sadie Adventures, what do you do? You change everything. The people you're around, the things you do. If you are stuck, you change everything y 'all. Predominantly the people you hang out with and the things that you consume. You understand? Somebody said, what's the highlight of your 2025? Only things with my kids and family. There is no highlights outside of that. We're closing a million dollar store to pivot to live shopping. Congratulations, good luck. How do you fix the problem with allowing the hate to bother you? Tanner, by understanding you're not in control, this ego that we all have, that we think we're in control of everything.

41:24You're not in control of the hate, both in the world nor the hate that is deployed to you. You're in control of how you react to the hate. Same thing I said that I don't react to the two extremes. The extreme hate, easy, I talked about it. But the extreme over admiration, the ability to stay humble when things are going well is a game that very few master.

41:52And it is a game that I'm so grateful to have mastered. And again, all accolades to my mom, you know, like, and my circumstance, like, it just worked out for me. But in all the accolades I get, I just don't believe them. I don't believe them when they tell me I'm the GOAT, and I don't believe them when they tell me I'm a scammer. I just believe myself. And what myself tells me is, I'm just a simple boy trying to play my game, hoping that there's collateral upside for people around me, whether very close to me or very far away from me but can hear me. And that's it, I got nothing else. You changed my life.

42:32Thank you, Matthew Bird. How many people feel like they had a significant movement in the right direction here in the last hour? Like real talk, real talk. How many people had an aha? How many people had an aha during this one hour? And if you had an aha, say aha. and if you had an aha and you said aha, say aha dash and then tell me what it was. I need to know. Aha, no ego go live, I love that. Aha, haters won't bother me, I love that. Be yourself, mindset, it's all that y 'all. It's all that. JD, I'm good with marketing my book but thank you. Peas and carrots, you want me to hire you? We have unlimited job openings.

43:14Vayner sports jobs, Vayner media jobs, VFriends jobs, just Google it or chat, GBT it and fill it out. Why do people call you a yapper? because yapper is a slang term for young kids that scream for people that talk and aren't saying anything and these 15 year olds don't understand I'm saying everything. They don't get it. They'd rather follow people that are gambling and throwing hate and so they're confused by me. They're confused by me. But they won't be confused for long. They won't be confused for long. How many people here used to fuck with me and follow me lost their way and got into a bad tornado shitted on me cause like ah fuck that guy he's too soft or silly or that stupid and now we're back because you realize you need love to win how many notice what I just said I want people to say back say back not me cause it'll get confusing how many people used to fuck with me then were like nah because all the fucking hate tricked them and they're like Gary's a puss I'm over here now yeah But now you're back because you realized.

44:27Thank you, P-nice. That's it, man. So that's it. Like that's real shit.

44:40That's it. Yeah, most people always stay because most people realize this love is rare. This good information is rare. I'm gonna stay here. It's rare. Like, what we're doing in this corner of the internet, there aren't a lot of comps. It's unfortunate, I'm trying to inspire comps. And by the way, one of the reasons I'm building an empire, I'm making all this money and fame and winning, is because I hope it makes people realize, wait, you can do it that way too. Because by the way, I'm a loving boy, but I'm also a fucking gangster entrepreneur businessman. They're not in conflict. they're just unfortunately too rare there's not a lot of preachers that are entrepreneurs you know in fact most most preachers i know are full of shit and using god to disguise their fucking bullshit uh-oh are we getting real out here wait are we getting real do we just get very real we'll just have a best slip of real ass pill in there uh-oh uh-oh we're watching you preachers we're watching you.

45:48Yes sir. God is a good disguise. God is a good disguise for the worst. You're the worst if you're doing it. Stop it. We're gonna find you.

46:04I'm not Ghostbusters. I'm like fake ass preacher busters. Uh huh. But you know what? I ain't even mad at them. You know who I'm most mad at? People that are teaching you to hate somebody else to make yourself feel better. You're a bitch. Ooh, they are red hot right now. People that are teaching you to hate some other group of people to make yourself feel better because you're a fucking loser. Because it's a lot more fun to blame a group of people of any kind, gender, race, religion, ethnicity, than to blame yourself because you're a bitch. Ayo, maybe it's not the presidents. Maybe it's not your parents.

46:52Maybe it's not the Mexicans. Maybe it's not the women. Maybe you're a punk ass bitch. And you're the worst kind punk ass bitch. You know what punk ass bitches I respect train? Punk ass bitches that keep their mouth shut. You know who's the worst of the worst of the worst? Punk ass bitches that blame everybody but themselves publicly. And we got people out here selling to them and making them feel good. Yeah, you right. Man, you guys are lost as shit. Messages please. You understand? You guys understand? You guys understand? You guys understand? Man, Cooley, I don't have balls. I ain't scared of these people.

47:44Cooley, I ain't scared of these, what the fuck is hate gonna do to me? Hate can't beat me. Bitch.

47:56I'm from Jersey. You think I'm scared of a little kid in a basement from Ohio with a cam spitting hate? Please. Please.

48:14Please. My man Cooley. Oh man, this is fun. You're right, dog. I am a heart trooper from the dirt, not a worm. You're absolutely right. Jeannie, I love you back. Everybody, we need, love is gonna win this in the end. Man, there's a lot of people right now that are gonna have a lot of explaining to do to their grandchildren. I can't wait. There are a lot, because you know what? All those shitheads in the 50s and 60s, there was no internet. They rewrote history. They're like, yeah, I'm on the right side of history. I was good. These motherfuckers have internet receipts. What? What? Oh, now we're really going somewhere.

49:05Now I'm in a mood. Now I'm in a fucking mood.

49:15Now we're talking real shit. You better be on this fucking love train cause your receipts are gonna be there and they're gonna roll up on you. You're all laughing at everybody. I'm laughing at you cause you're spitting hate on Twitter and you're fucking dead. Ian Schneider my guy. Ian Schneider, my guy, Ethel Hoppock, graduating class 1990. Ian was swaggy, bro. I loved that kid. Ian Schneider, good to see you, bro. I love this dude. Ian, tell them how hard I came in eighth grade. I came out of nowhere, rolled up in eighth grade. Ian, tell them how hard I came in. Day four, I was making moves. Stacy Johnson was in love.

50:00Ian, tell them. I've stunned Ethel Hoppock. This is so fun. Nere, great to see. Did everybody understand what I was just saying? Yes, Dominus, it is. Ian Slater, stunner. I came in hot, guys. I came to this new school. I had a cute little face. Mm-hmm. The ladies love me. The guys love me. I'm being fucking noise. This was also a small school. They were always together with each other, so anybody knew did well, if I'm being honest. But I also was me. and Ian's a fucking awesome dude. I fucking love Ian Schneider. Ian Schneider, great to see you, bro. I hope your life has gone well. I miss you, bro.

50:39I like Ian Schneider a lot. He's the best. Jeannie, that was Ethel Hoppock Middle School and my stand store hit 30 ,000. Sober dad, let's go. That stand challenge was unbelievable. His stand store hit 30 ,000. Let's go. Let's go. You know what Ian Schneider was? He was athletic and good looking. He was like, Ian Schneider, I wanna give you these flowers, Ian. I always, because I had come from Edison, New Jersey, which was like city life, and then I went to rural life. I always thought that Ian Schneider was elevated from a little of the bumpkin DNA we had around those parts. Ian, I always thought of you that way.

51:21You know, it's funny, me and Ian never had a chapter where we were best buds, but always that good acquaintance friendly thing, you know what I mean? So I'm glad I'm getting to say this to him. Like, I always felt he was elevated from the crew a little bit. I always knew, I was like, he'll be good. Because Ian, you know this, I was weird as shit in high school. Like, I was in a business mindset. I was like in the system, but outside the system. You remember, Ian? Remember when I was like working all the time? When everybody was going to like Alan Shuttlebauer's parties? Dash, dash says, Ian hates you.

51:54Dash, dash, you hate yourself. But I love you. How about the fact that I love dash dash more than he loves himself? How about that shit? Yeah, Norea, that's what's up. That hit you because you're smart. Dash dash, this is the real shit. Coming into chats, you know, and spitting hate that you're in a bad place, but I got love for you, and we're gonna fix it, dash dash. First of all, you're dash dash. Like that in itself is like ridiculously funny. Second of all, like, you know, like Rita Beretta, that you're a good person. Thank you. Bro, you fell off hard. That's perfect. That's exactly who I want to say that I fell off.

52:34Thank you, chat. That's some real shit. That's who I'm gonna listen to. That's who's gonna hurt me. A dude that, like, oh man. Life is funny as shit out here, y 'all. Life is funny as shit out here, y 'all. Crypto, my thought on crypto is Bitcoin's definitely crossed over, and actually I've been buying a bunch in this dip. It could go lower, I don't know. But Bitcoin's crossed over. Ethereum I think is the platform for digital assets, collectibles but also contracts, licenses, providence. As the world goes more, listen, in three years, 99 % of the videos on the internet are gonna be fake and no one's gonna believe a single video on the internet and that's when all of you are gonna fall in love with the blockchain.

53:15Because the blockchain is a decentralized server that proves providence and ownership. All of you are about to get really educated Really educated. Bruce goes right. Crypto is a pyramid scheme. It's not a pyramid scheme. There's a lot of, they're beanie babies. Like real estate, stocks are pyramid schemes too. But we don't blame the stock market or real estate. Individual crypto projects are shit. Just like individual collectibles are shit. Individual art is shit. There's real estate scams going on right now. There's unbelievable amounts of penny stocks that are scams right now. But we don't blame Wall Street.

53:55Crypto, projects can be scammy. But the blockchain and certain cryptocurrencies and collectibles and contracts are gonna be really important in the future. Ooh, I got a new hat. Everybody, I started a new company here at VaynerX named after my mother. It's called Tomorrow Group. It stands for the Attention Media and Relevance Agency. I love you. I hope you're good, Fox. I hope you're better in your soul. I hope you're good, bro. I hope your life gets better. I wish you nothing but good. And I hope things get better for you. Really, because clearly they're not. I'm ending right now. Thank you, everybody.

54:34Love you all. See you, bye. Hey, everybody, if you enjoyed this podcast, please go back and look at the prior episodes. They're loaded. I appreciate your attention. And thanks for being part of this journey. See you later.