Listen to this if you want to be a better leader in 2025

0:00This is the GaryVee Audio Experience. I'm an extremely focused, aggressive, just bottom line type of human being. You're ambitious and hungry and focused and driven. Yes. Okay. I would say those things are very much true. Me too. And for me, one of my biggest challenges is working with a team and being like more, so to speak, gentle, if you want to call it, with them. So this way, like my, most people honestly can't handle the intensity. Yeah. Well, the intensity is probably not a problem to handle. Okay. It's potentially the combativeness, the lack of selflessness, the empathy, the combat, it's the other soft skills.

0:42Intensity is incredibly easy to deal with when it's intense love and safety and deliciousness. Well said, very well said. The energy's not the issue. All right guys, that's it. But you know what's funny brother, how old are you? I'm 29. Yeah, bro, you're such a young man. Like, this is where you need to make some decisions. You know, you need a couple things. I think this, I'm excited we're going here. You have to make some decisions at 29, and you have plenty of time. You can make these decisions at 39, too, but by the time you get to 39, you're gonna want to make this decision, which is the following.

1:17How would you like it to be? Meaning, there's an incredibly obvious correlation on this, which is likability, what you're actually bringing to everyone around you. There's many ways to build the biggest building in town. I say this a lot, if you watch my content, maybe you've heard this, either you just have the talent to build the biggest buildings, or you spend your time tearing down everyone else's building, and your building's actually not that big. My belief system is when one excuses their behavior on things like ambition or driven or focus, and don't really break it down to its pure form, which is what is it that you're thinking when you're too intense for them?

2:02Is it that you believe if you pay someone that they owe you? And this is an incredible challenge for people that are bosses. I don't believe just because I pay Dustin that that gives me carte blanche to make it not good. To make what not good is the claim? To be an asshole, you're saying? Yeah, of course not. You know what I mean? Obviously. And asshole comes in a lot of shapes and sizes. Like even just the way you're talking, I don't believe that you're like blindly on the side of like being a dick face. But, you know. I can't speak for that. You know, I think the thing to think through is. I'm like a dick elbow.

2:35Here's a good one. For example, it is incredibly clear that most people, governments, parents, bosses, humans, love using fear to get things done. Right. It's easy. it's cheap it's quick and it is 100 % of where resentment comes from right? So I think a lot about that you know and so like the question becomes like how would you like it to play out? Like would you like to have 100 million dollars but very few people like you? Is it better to have 80 million dollars not 100 but everyone loves you? Some people don't give a shit. Maybe you could have 500 million if you do it properly and play the long game.

3:18There's a million ways, right? Is it dollars? Is it like what does bring the joy? I'll give you an example. What's really intriguing about Me Too Me is I just love the game. Like, I'll take the money, but it's crazy. By comparison to a lot of my contemporaries, my relationship with the money is very different. I totally hear that. It's like the trading cards game with you and like the garage sale. Yeah bro, the garage sale stuff is such a fucking preview into my soul. Like I'm genuinely, actually genuinely, no bullshit, more excited to find a two dollar item in a garage sale in New Jersey that's worth 38 bucks on eBay than when I do a seven million dollar deal here at Vayner.

4:03And it's not even close. So what's the difference? What's the difference in those two? The thrill, the hunt, the enjoyment. Why is the hunt of making that deal, let's say the one that got you more money, not as enjoyable? because there's no surprise here. Got it. You know, like the element of the game. And just even like the pride I have in like knowing. Like the knowing is really exciting. Last thing, Gary. In your pursuit of success. Yes. Is there anything that you have done that you have regretted? Because it's difficult. Of course. I spent my entire 20s working in a liquor store 97 hours a week and did nothing.

4:39I was saying more morally. But why? More morally like when you got it. No, because I don't want, I don't need anything from anyone. Well, yeah, maybe you made a mistake. I don't know, 35, I don't really. I don't think that's a small mistake. I don't think lack of candor and firing people without setting them up properly, I'm not sure if that's a moral, I don't know if I put that in the category subjectively judging myself if I did something morally wrong, I'm embarrassed that I didn't have the emotional strength to be more upfront with people. The counter to like, when I'm like saying, oh, you know, what I admire from people that my dad, even though he delivered it like a fucking, very inappropriately, I respected that he shot it straight, but everyone felt like shit.

5:20That was a weakness of my candor, was my biggest weakness. Ironically, Gary Vee, the public figure, crushes candor. But one on one, if I start caring about you, I fucking, I struggle delivering. So, morally, I've never like, stole someone's money, or like, I just never, here's the thing. Unlike a lot of other ambitious people, I had such a great mother, that I didn't need it for my self-esteem. I needed it for, actually, do you know what I've come to realize? I'm just curious of how good I am. To me, this is one big game of curiosity. Like I'm trying to just figure out when it's all said and done, like where did I rank?

5:58Where the chips can all be. Yeah, it's a game. No, I totally get that. To me, most people look for success as a badge to leverage against. It's why people buy Mercedes. It's why people wear Louis Vuitton. It's all fucking badging. I don't have a car. You know? It's a Gucci bag. I got her on the train. Excuse me. But I really believe it's social signaling often to hide an insecurity. Other times people just genuinely love fashion and they genuinely love driving the car. But I think a lot about the world from a selfish, selfless standpoint like we touched on. And then the other biggest thing I think is confidence and security.

6:39I think if you look at those four things and you really look at them, you can get the answers to almost everything. One last thing. How do you have so much confidence in your goodness? Because I have fucking 45 years of looking at it. Because I see it in my son. When somebody trips during a game, he can't help but just stop, even though he wants to win. It's in him. I got lucky. You know when people talk about luck, I don't talk about luck with money. I talk about luck of what my personality played out to be. I just have natural compassion. I know I'm nice. You had a good mom, man. I have a great mom and I also have great DNA and then I also got great circumstances.

7:17I got a lot of shit out. Sounds Jewish. Yeah, it's true though. But you know this, where my mom did well that a lot of cliche Jewish moms don't do well is but she held me accountable. You know, that delusion when you're like, you're good at everything and you're always right, that shit doesn't work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That shit doesn't work. You know, what my mom did was like, you're the best but when I did wrong shit, she punched me in the face. Like actually like kind of like really 80s style. Plus I grew up in the 80s. In the 80s when I had issues, here's a nice Jewish name, when I fought Oded Weinstock three times between third and sixth grade, I learned how to deal with conflict.

7:53Fucking Weinstock. You know, me and Oded fought. Like we were in it, it was a different world. We're now all in our kids shit. Kids can't fucking breathe without their parents fighting every battle for them, paying for everything. It's all fucking out of whack. It's like you know that you have the confidence because you know that you've gone through. Because I've been on my own two feet. Because I don't need anybody emotionally or financially. Do you know what it feels like to not need anyone emotionally or financially? That's life. There is nothing else. Most people are not fortunate enough to have both down.

8:26Gary, thank you so much. I really appreciate it, Gary. Thank you, I appreciate it.