Mastering Patience, Tenacity, and the Power of Positivity

0:00Write down a piece of paper the people you spend the most time with. then look at it and score them on positivity and negativity. If they're the most positive, they're a 10. If they're negative, they're a one, the most. And anything in between, look at it and spend less time with the people that have low scores. You are the byproduct of the positivity and the negativity that you consume. The end. Well, I referenced it. Candor was a real challenge for me. You know, my mom is not super candorous, my dad is incredibly candorous, but he delivered it in such a negative way that I think I demonized the value of candor.

0:37I was able to 95 % of the time successfully figure it out without candor, which is a very high ratio. I just got to the point in my life where the 5 % didn't feel good enough anymore. You know, I just kind of like, there was a Facebook group of former employees talking negatively about me, and I was just like, this shouldn't be. I don't care about the money. I love people, like this shouldn't be. And I'm like, the only thing I do poorly is I don't give people critical feedback and it fucks it up. And I'm like, I gotta stop. And I've really worked on myself. How were you able to do that? By suffocating myself.

1:17By acknowledging it. Right? And by doing what I'm doing right now. I'm trapping myself. I'm putting it out in the open. It's why I think everybody should just post their weight on the scale every morning to the world. I mean it. I mean it. I mean it. It really works. It really works. Public accountability is powerful. So that's why I wrote the book. Wow. What are some of the other ingredients that you feel could be very valuable? Well, what's interesting about the book is that I decided to frame it, you know, when you sit down and write a book or gather your thoughts or even like when you think about having a conversation, you're not exactly sure how you're gonna package it if it's big, a quick thing, sure.

2:00And ingredients really worked for me because what I realized when I was talking out the book was, oh, I don't use any of these things in a silo. I need like three things at once to address this issue. So like, and sometimes it seems very in conflict. For example, patience and conviction at the same time seems weird. or ambition and patience fucks everyone up. I push patience, how many people here consume my content? Raise your hands. Thank you. If you didn't raise your hand, you hurt my feelings. So for the people that just raised their hand, I talk about patience 24 seven. A lot of people DM me, they're like, man, I don't like this patience thing, Gary.

2:46Like, what about the hustle? What about like ambition? I'm like, I'm the most. I'm like, do not confuse patience with complacency. Do not confuse patience with being lazy. Patience is being thoughtful. Patience is measuring twice before you cut once. Real estate has a major patience issue because people know the market moves and so they get erratic when times are good and sometimes even more erratic when times are bad. Patience matters. People compromise their reputation when they're scared, patience matters. So the book, you know, Tenacity is one of the ingredients. Seems like a hard word, like a tenacity.

3:33And then like, you know, having tenacity and conviction but then also patience and kindness and self-awareness, there's just a lot there and ingredients worked. I'm like, you know, sweet and sour chicken is weird. It's sweet and sour. But we've all agreed that we're good with it. And I don't think people are good with tenacity and patience. And so I thought that framework could start to frame up my argument. How could you be good with tenacity and patience? I do it every day. I'm incredibly, incredibly tenacious. I want to dominate everyone. I'm so competitive. I go to things like this and I'm like, I'm gonna start a real estate company and put these fuckers out of business.

4:21I swear to God. And so it's really interesting. I took competition out of the book. I took competitiveness out of the book because while I was writing it, and when I write I just talk and DRock films me. And I was like, I'm taking it out because I think I'm gonna write a book just on competition. I actually think one of the greatest reasons our society is struggling is because in the last 25 years, we decided to demonize competition.

4:53I think this concept of eighth place trophies has eliminated merit, created entitlement, and makes, like, you have 22 year olds coming into the world and they're like, confused out here. And I think that's the parents that just clapped are the ones that actually fucked it up.

5:16Self-awareness is in the book. I love that about my brother. I think I have it in spades. My sister's getting better at it. Self-awareness matters. I wish people loved themselves more. I think people, yeah, it's a big deal, man. It's okay to be bad at things. I can't read for shit. Just like legit. have no reading comprehension, right? I curse like a sailor. You know, like it is what it is. Like I'm good, like you can start loving everyone else only after you start with yourself. And so I think about that a lot in life and obviously the way I think about business, it really blends. Of course you're a bad boss, you're unhappy.

6:12Now, do you think like a lot of those ingredients are a two-way street? Meaning? For example, you know, you're saying a bad boss, and we know that a lot of bosses are under so much pressure because of deadlines, everything of that nature. Do you feel like at times it's not just the leader, obviously, that's got to show the way, but one of those that have to do it for a two-way street? I don't. The leader's in control. If the employee stinks, fire her. Fire him. I think it's an excuse. Leaders work for their employees, not the other way around. Good point. I think bosses use that as an excuse. Well, my people stink.

6:53Fire them. Or better yet, what about actually coaching them up? I mean, fuck, like bosses get employees as if they're there to serve them. It's fucking crazy. The entitlement by small business owners and managers is obnoxious. These are fellow human beings. You have people that own companies that, I expect my people to work the way I work. I'm like, are you giving them the same money?

7:28The fuck are you talking about? There should, I've never even remotely even crossed my mind in my 25 years that anyone should even remotely work as hard as me. They work for me, I work for them, but I'm getting different economics. Of course they should not work like me. Delusion, entitlement. Fucking bosses piss me off.

7:57They do. It's exactly why I don't have any. It's exactly why I don't have any. and I'm at the point in my life where I wanna really show a framework to others because I know it works. And it's not a focus group of one, I watch. It's my greatest strength. Everyone's like, you predict shit. I'm like, I watch. I've never predicted a thing in my life. I've observed things earlier than others and have acted on them aggressively quickly and then been loud about them. But I don't predict shit, I'm not no Sradamus. and what I've observed is when a leader, when she and he really knows that they work for them, then they build real shit.

8:43Who are some leaders out there that you feel demonstrate those qualities that could be good for the audience to study and learn from? I don't really have the answers. I'll tell you why. I can only really co-sign somebody that I've seen in action, so I see it within my organizations, I see it in some startups, but none of them are public. Right? So, but here's a good one, my friend. There's nobody out there that's confused. Who's confused about the basic civility required to be a nice person? There's nobody confused. Right? Like, what show do you have to watch? What book do you need to read? This is very understood.

9:32People choose not to because of their own issues.

9:38Insecurity is the greatest poison in our society.

9:45Insecurity. It leads to such bad behavior. And some people, it's so deep that they convert it into such offense and are able to garner leverage. But it's kind of like Darth Vader. It's the dark side version of motivation. And you get killed in the end. And by the way, that shows up with, you made$39 million, but six people came to your funeral. Congrats. Yeah, you don't have a legacy. Congrats. Cool. And by the way, no judgment. You want to live that life? Mazel tov, but fuck that shit.

10:35You know, you had mentioned that you, at the end of, I don't know what they're laughing about. Well, there's a lot of funny shit being said up here, so I think they're enjoying it. You want to win it. How do you want your legacy to be remembered? That I gave more than I took.

11:01The Jets thing is a fun side thing. It's been with me for so long, since I was in grade school. I'm so grateful that that happened to me. Me, for myself, I invented that little dream because it's been so fun. Like, I really wish people understood my journey to buy the Jets. It's, and I've been saying it more clearly lately so some people are starting to understand. It's just fun trying. You know? And the pain, please. I love the pain. You know, a really nice kid asked me, just backstage about, or like the VIP thing about, I wanna be an entrepreneur, and I said, you gotta get really, really, really used to losing.

11:44You gotta get real comfortable with losing. Most people's limitation on their earning capacity is completely predicated on their stomach for losing. People are so insecure that they worry about other people's opinions about their winning and losing that they stop in a very soft zone and they don't push themselves. I don't care what the people in the crowd are saying about what I'm doing on the field. I'm on the field. If I lose, if a division doesn't work, if a start, if an investment doesn't work out, if my companies have a bad year, I'm not super worried about what you guys think. You're eating popcorn watching me do it.

12:32Right, so that's how we should all think. Your mom is eating popcorn watching you do it. Your husband is eating popcorn watching you do it. Your kids are eating popcorn watching you do it, and then anonymous Rick in the comments is definitely eating popcorn watching you do it. So I struggle and so wanna positively shake people. I'm like, you're not doing certain thing because one person's leaving negative comments. That's insane. Do you know how sad someone's life is if they actually decide to watch your content and leave a negative comment? You shouldn't be sad for you, you should be sad for them.

13:14I'm serious, every time somebody brings hate towards me, I feel compassion. I'm like, man, thank you God. If my life was watching someone else and trying to tear them down, that is dark. All the time. I DM them, like, I'm sorry, you're not good, is there anything I can do for you? They're like, oh, I'm just kidding, you're the best. And that makes me happy. That makes me even triple down when they say that. Of course, I love compassion. I think it's a fucking hard skill.

13:54Everyone's gotten so lazy. Somebody leaves a slightly, not even critical, a slightly not what you wanted comment, and you're like, troll. Like I'm watching. People leave like a follow-up question. People are like, hater. It's not even like negative. People are so fucking soft. Everybody's a hater, a troll. You know, of course if they're saying abusive things, of course, but again, that person's hurting. Think about living your life and being like, you, like what? You're ugly. Like that person's hurting. We need a new conversation. We have no compassion. Everyone's just drawing lines in the sand.

14:41We have no civility. We have politicians acting worse than the worst people in my high school acted. The fuck is going on out here? Fucking fuck. Seriously. Like, and I see it, you know, that's obviously the world. In business, it's hurting your bottom line. It is hurting your bottom line. It is hurting your bottom line.

15:16Especially now that there's so many options. Yeah. Like, I'm just fascinated by the confusion, but I know it's grounded in emotional issues. and like, sometimes people hit me up and they're like, all right, so what do I do about it? I'm like, well, if you can afford it, therapy's a good idea, right? Get it out, work on yourself, like fight, fight. You have a life. This is 400 trillion to one. 400 trillion to one is the odds of being a human being. Literally, your mom might have just got up for another glass of wine and you wouldn't even exist.

16:03Why don't people think about that shit?

16:11The miracle of life is fucking insane to the nanosecond. And so people are just interesting. If you're in this room right now, your life is better than you think.

16:31That, I promise you. Of course, they have you on stage. It's not that, it's, you could even be here. Touche. Like, you could be here, right? No, I think people lack gratitude. They just do. People are just worried about what they don't have versus realizing what they have. And I loved when everyone's like, oh, now that COVID hit two years ago, oh, now I'm gonna be grateful. Shit, this is really gonna wake me up. I didn't really, fuck that, everyone's crying about dumb shit again. And we're not even done with this shit.

17:09People need rewiring perspective. I'll give you one that can help. A lot of times I talk like this, they're like, all right, give me something. Here you go. I'll help you so much. This is real talk. Write down a piece of paper. Old school, fuck notes on the iPhone. Paper, write down a piece of paper. the people you spend the most time with. Then look at it and score them on positivity and negativity. If they're the most positive, they're a 10. If they're negative, they're a one, the most. And anything in between, look at it and spend less time with the people that have low scores.

17:48I'm not saying cut your mama out.

17:54I'm saying limit it a little bit. If your mother is the most negative person in your life, don't talk to her six times a day. Talk to her once every two days. That's just the way life is. You are the byproduct of the positivity and the negativity that you consume. The end.

18:18It's real, it's super real. It's like the exercise thing. It's not comfortable to limit your interaction with your older brother or your best friend, but that is the answer of the road towards more good stuff. More positive people in your life, more negative people in your life. You're in control. all the best things people are like Gary that's hard I'm like the good shit is hard the good shit is hard

18:57what are you the most optimistic about I guess now what do you say in the next year or two years that you're seeing out there people I'm the most optimistic about humans. I think the most ridiculous branding in the world right now is how underestimated human beings are. I mean that. I think humans are underrated. I think a lot of people try to push that we aren't, but I think we're pretty fucking remarkable. People are resilient, people, there's so much good going on right now, you don't even know. So I'm most optimistic about people. As far as if you're going more granular, which is I think where you might have been going, I'm incredibly excited about the consumer blockchain.

19:54I think people are completely missing the boat on what NFTs actually represent. I think people don't realize that they're deploying in their internet perspective on the blockchain. All the jokes of like, well, I can just right click and save the NFT. I love, it makes me laugh because I'm watching a lot of my 20, 30 and 40 year old friends become their parents. How so? Well, they're like, NFTs are scams. This is it. It's the same shit that your folks told you about the internet. Get off that computer. It's stupid. That became your career. I'm not getting an iPhone. This Blackberry, I need the buttons.

20:29I gotta touch that shit. People always say no to the new. And that's where the opportunity is. And so I'm incredibly optimistic and opportunistic and focused on the consumer blockchain because it will change the world. And if you're in the title business, you better be real scared because the blockchain's coming after you.

20:54How so? It eliminates the need for you. It's a ledger with decentralized servers needing nobody, owned by nobody.

21:08Boom.

21:12There's a few of them in the crowd. It's real. And my big thing is like, that's not bad. That's the opportunity. Technology doesn't give a fuck about our feelings. You think technology cared about, you think technology cared about Blockbuster? You think Blockbuster cared about movie theaters? I love when people cry about some new shit after they were the ones that killed the last shit.

21:44I love when people get into a certain part of their career where they wanna slow it down, but then they're mad at the youngsters who are hungry. You like that one? It's true, right? They're like, this is some bullshit. I'm like, you did that 30 years ago. I love when the old lion dies to the new one. I can't wait to people crush me. That's the game. That's why I have so much disrespect for old entrepreneurs that try to pay politicians to change the rules. They're fake entrepreneurs. You're an old dog. It's time for you to get killed.

22:22You will not see me in my 70s and 80s use all my power and money to try to change the rules. I will be honorable and ready for the next ninja to kill me. People make decisions based on their best interests in the short term. I'm sorry you don't wanna do the 60 hours of homework required to understand what the blockchain is, but I'm not gonna cry for you when you get destroyed.