Stop Paying the Cynicism Tax: Why Practical Optimism is Your Greatest Asset

0:00My father, if he put$200 ,000 in, he would have$42 million. I got an allocation into Facebook. He said no. He had more money than me. It's 2011. I just built a massive business for him. If he put$200 ,000 in, he would have$42 million. All of his no's of his life can't offset that no. That is the cynicism tax. This is the Gary Vee Audio Experience. The cynicism tax, why being realistic isn't as real as you think. So stop mistaking negativity for reality and start using optimism to get things done. And I just wanted to get your definition of what a cynicism tax is. A cynicism tax is defined in my mind of you're deploying a perspective of no without putting in the efforts to see if it's a maybe, thus rendering you having no capacity to ever find upside that others don't see or even few see or the masses don't see when you're in a practical optimism framework you're saying maybe to everything and when you say maybe to everything and you're you have the humility to quote unquote waste your time aka use your time to potentially say yes to something that most will say no to how do you think i found myself being right about email marketing about having a website around google adwords influencer marketing mobile like everything that i've watched anyone who's innovated is met with no's, I am in practical optimism, which, oh, by the way, let me address this because I saw a piece of content this weekend where it said that I'm the king of toxic positivity.

1:57And I was laughing with how many people, and you know this, a lot of people are trying to weaponize this term, right? Nothing could be more interesting to me than people have decided to create a term called toxic positivity and try to weaponize it against humans. It's truly one of the saddest things I've seen in the world. Here's why. Toxic positivity is really just slang term for delusion. Right? Or a dream. Right? If that word didn't exist, they'd be like, Gary's just selling them a fake dream, right? For me, all I talk about is practical truths. All I believe in is accountability. The market is always right.

2:47People are confusing practical optimism with toxic positivity or delusion because they don't know the difference between trying for a little while or wasting all your time and money on it forever. I am the king of what some people would say wasting minutes and hours and days on hypotheses that end up not being true. But that level of curiosity and practical optimism has also led me to 40 things that are so true that the upside of those 40 truths has created remarkable economic and emotional happiness. the tax on cynicism is none of the people that deploy it sammy could have ever discovered the gold at the other side of the rainbow because they never slid down the rainbow i hope you're enjoying the podcast right now make sure you follow the podcast that's why i'm interrupting let's keep going on this show but follow the podcast it'll make my mom super happy They don't even try because they're not even in the game.

3:58And like real talk, if you are trying to accomplish something, but you've already talked yourself out of it and you're not doing it, doesn't that actually render it 100 % impossible? The end. You miss 100 % of the shots. You don't take or what was that? And people are so scared and are so believing the negativity in the world that they choose to weaponize cynicism as a protection mechanism. And then if that's not enough, they go and try to deploy toxic positivity on people that are practically optimistic. I cannot laugh more about that. I also think it's really, I also think Yes, that's exactly what's happening.

4:51They're so feared that they're in Misery Loves Company and they try to deploy cynicism and labels to make sure everyone else doesn't do anything either. What about when it's like, sometimes like your family like, my family are immigrants, right? And it's almost like protection. Because like, I love you so much that I don't want you like, we need to be like protected from these risks. We did all these risks. I agree. Now let's protect yourself. Makes sense. How old are you? I'm 31. Great. Tell your parents you're 31. Like when people ask me like, what do I do Gary? And I'm like, you know, like I get it.

5:26Like I didn't ride a bike. I'm scared of dogs as a kid. And I was scared of swimming because my mom was scared I was going to get drowned and bit by a dog. I know what fear is. I have no judgment. Unlike, you know, it's funny. Unlike people that are affected by my optimism and want to sling toxic positivity, I don't call it toxic cynicism. I don't call it toxic fear. Notice what I called it. The cynicism tax. I don't even want to, I always laugh when people want to hurt. I don't even want to use that word toxic because I don't want to hurt people's feelings. but do I believe that most of the people that read this article or watch this clip have a cynicism tax?

6:16Yes, I do. I think most people do not achieve. Now, let me counter myself. Let me join the ranks. Do I think that there are people that are downright delusional? Like delusional. Sure, I meet them all the time. You know, those people do gravitate to me. You know, it's funny, I get both sides. You know who gravitates to me? the extreme cynics that are like so tired and are 10 years into their cynicism that they're actually ready for my practical optimism. They're not in year one where they're gonna leave a comment, king of toxic positivity. They're in year seven where they're like, clearly my way didn't work.

6:51I wanna actually know what this guy's been talking about for the last 20 years. And then there's people that a lot of those people are making fun of and think exist, which is like delusional people. Which is why Sammy, Matt, I always talk about work ethic, accountability, the market is the market. Yes, you should quit after four and a half years of sucking at the same thing over and over. Like, you know, like. It's almost like, for the delusional, but it's almost like the reps are the proof, right? Of like that thing that you're striving for. It's sports. Like you're saying, you put in that work ethic is the proof.

7:28It's sports. Of that, yeah. I laugh when people wanna take shots. I'm like, have you looked at my baseball card? turn it to the back. Do you understand what I've done? It's your world. I'm here with Steve from VaynerSpeakers. I told Steve and Zach, as early as I met them, when I met Steve, I was already somewhere. Zach got me a little bit earlier, but you actually, actually, that's right. Steve, right. Steve knew of me. I told everybody I was gonna be a very successful speaker. Whether I was brash and delusional or positive, if I was deploying toxic positivity on myself or not, or, you know, Steve was like, or Zach thought a little too brash or too much cursing or not professional enough or, yeah, I just don't get it, which is like super valid.

8:18Like I've been wrong about people all the time. It didn't really matter in 2011 what I thought or what they thought. It just plays out. It just plays out. and so I would just tell everybody who's reading this that if you're willing to be quiet and really understand are you on the side of paying a cynicism tax if you're on the side of the other side of the pillow delusion at scale try to find this middle which is grounded in maybe I'm a maybe trying to find yes guy I'm not yes at everything, but fuck man. Boy, do I see the world loaded with people that are no one. I mean, my father literally says no to everything on get.

9:14I like that because I was a bar. I was like, little cook. I was like, yeah, keep going. You know, that's it. I just, how could you possibly achieve something if you killed it before you started? and then that's what got me down now i'll give you the insight of my career that's what then got me to why are people doing this oh wait people are saying no to protect themselves from losing publicly think about how safe it is i'm gonna shit on people like gary and others who are positive and say they're toxic positivity that makes me feel like i'm doing something because in real life i'm doing nothing and also the comment section too it's so easy to to be able to do that.

9:54You feel like you're - And you feel like you did something. Like, yay, I got 150. Like, on this post that I'm talking about this weekend, ooh, 900 people agreed with me. See, Gary, you're wrong. I'm like, okay. See you on the other side. Can't wait. Let's see how this plays out. There's really no logic. Like, no actual practical logic to be a queen of cynicism. Optimism is not the same word as delusion and cynicism is not the same word as thoughtful. it's good to be thoughtful so you don't buy a million dollar lottery ticket. Like you don't want to be, right? But again, I think people think cynicism is the same as like, well, Gary, if I wasn't cynical, I would have invested in that beachfront property in Peru and with my neighbors and we all lost our money.

10:41Like that's not cynicism. That's being thoughtful. Cynicism is deep. What's the Webster's definition of cynicism, T? An inclination to believe that people are motivated purely by selling interest, skepticism. That would be like the people selling us the beachfront property in Peru aren't just selling a beachfront property and letting us make a decision. They're trying to trick us to take our money and it's going to be bad for us. That's different than this is a neutral business deal. And should we, the four of us, you know, should we all pile in our dollars? We got a new friend here. Can you add 20 bucks to it?

11:20and can we buy this property? The cynics will point to the nine times it doesn't work out. I'll speak to the time where I bought beachfront Malibu property for 100 ,000, it's worth 40 million. I didn't do that, I'm just saying good examples. But for example, everyone, I mean, I've got a real one. When I put all my money in, my father, he's gonna hate this, I'm not sure we should use this, but I just want you to hear it. My father, I got an allocation into Facebook the same time I did. He said no. He had more money than me. He said, it's 2011. I just built a massive business for him. This is not 1994.

12:03If he put 200 ,000 in, he would have$42 million. All of his no's in his life can't offset that no. Of his life, that is the cynicism tax. It's also a strategy of like, are you using the strategy of cynicism or the strategy of optimism? Right, and understanding that we are not talking about thoughtfulness and delusion. It's very important you weave that in. Like, I want to make a very strong point. There's a reason cynicism exists as a word and there's a reason why thoughtful or whatever. What's the opposite of cynicism? I use thoughtful at first of mine, but there's other good words, I'm sure.

12:47Let's ask. I think optimism is kind of it? Yeah. Yeah, so these are the cousins, right? So, right, to me, I use optimism, but that's not delusion. In fact, actually in chat, GBT, what's the difference between optimism and delusion's good? What's the difference between cynicism and thoughtfulness? I think are like really good prompts. Like, that's my point. The general public, when they hear cynicism and optimism, or positivity, I mean, the concept that there is even an ability to be toxically positive is so stupid. It's a misunderstanding of positive. What they're trying to say is delusion. It's sad that we're, we should kill that word.

13:33It's gonna ruin the world. Stop saying toxic positivity. Start saying delusional. Because positivity and delusion are not the same. But you're tricking the kids. I'm fucking pissed about this. I've decided I'm pissed about this.

13:51You're fucking ruining an entire generation's opportunity because of your own hurt and loser-ness. Fuck that shit. We're not letting that happen. I think that's good. That's perfect for this article and then we'll have it all finished up. Matthew, do you have them? When we run into somebody who's in a no mindset, a scarcity mindset, what are like the first tactical steps you take to get in and dispute toward at least maybe? By actually saying yes to something they want to say no to to see how not bad it is. And to tell them that this will likely not work out, but this is just practice.

14:39Most people need to know what it feels like to lose$15 ,000 when they can't fully, they can afford it, like they're not dead, but it's a fucking ding. Because if you really believed it, you're gonna feel better than you think. That's the part that most people don't understand, that if you actually believed it. Let me break down the scenario if you want to use an example. You believe it's a good investment to put$15 ,000 into a group fund with 10 other buddies to buy a single family home for$150 ,000 and make money off the derivative? You believe it. you say no. They go on and do it and by fucking year three they're already paid back and making money for the rest of their life.

15:23You're fucking dead inside because you believed yes but you allowed cynicism and fear to make you go no.

15:32You go and put that 15 ,000 and it does not work out. You don't feel as bad as the first example. That is what I have to teach people to go through. Got it? How do you do it? It's different, it's just like working out. How do you get someone to work out? You physically drag the fucking ass out of their bed and bring them downstairs and go to the gym. Like until they do it, you can't do it.

15:59And they'll fight you tooth and nail, it's like an alcoholic. I just wanted to kind of follow up on that because the things that I'm getting is like, it's either the worst feeling is like the regret of not doing it or like the worst feeling is the fear before you even start? The worst feeling is you fully believe something and you go against your feelings because you let fear stop you. But in your true heart, in like real talk, have you not done something in your life that you knew you wish you did, you wanted to, but fear stopped you and then it played out in a way that was good and you wish you were associated with that good?

16:39Do you know what that feels like? It feels the worst. Like you wish you dated that boy and said yes. You wish you bought that thing. You wish you invested in that stock. You wish you took that job. Like it's the worst feeling. The worst feeling is your soul is telling you yes and your brain fear when you let that overpower your gut, yes, you let your brain fear and then it like, like the, So it works out you're upset. Let me give you the reverse. Your brain fear says don't do it. Your heart and soul says do it. You take your brain and then thing does not work out. It doesn't feel as good as you think it does.

17:29The highs are much bigger on success than the lows feel in not success and the highs are much higher than the good feeling of your no worked out. You're like, okay. Like some people get off on it. See, he told you, you nine friends are suckers. Like you get your high on that, but there's no, you didn't win. This is what I keep telling people, you didn't win. Like think about, is that what you want your life to be? That you make fun of your nine friends who took a chance? Like is that fulfilling? So like again, like this is real talk. This makes sense. Like is that what you want your life to be?

18:09Like your nine buddies failed, their restaurant investment failed, and what, you just be like, ha ha, I was the only smart, like what are you doing? Like what is that life? I'd rather lose with my buddies. Like the drinking nights of like making fun of us, like remember when we tried to buy a Chinese restaurant in Alabama? Like that 15 times you have that story over beers is worth the$15 ,000 that I, like you know, and again, and everything's relative and money's important. Like I'm not saying that. I'm saying soul, your soul. I'm saying like,

18:48I mean - You can get at the end of the road and then you're gonna look back and then you're gonna see everything, regrets. You're not there with like your buddies anymore. People have become intoxicated with like labeling everyone else without realizing it has nothing to do with their life. When the fuck did we all decide that we were God? People are literally walking around Earth like they think their fucking opinions are the fucking end all be all and they need to fucking spread it near and wide on everyone's comment. Now, I put out a lot of content but I'm passionate about perspectives but I'm not trying to impose my will on people.

19:25Like I'm not going around the internet and being like you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong. I'm just putting out what I believe and like let the chips fall. that's very, very, very different. I'm out here doing things and letting the chips fall and living life. Other people are going around and just shitting on things, cynical armies, and they think they're doing something. They're not doing anything. They're reacting to other people's doing and they think the shitting on it is their contribution. They're doing nothing. And they're going to wake up soon and be like 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, and be like, oh wow, I did nothing.

20:04I've watched this happen pre-social media. I had a family of two very opposites. People are about to get to 70, 80 year olds and realize they did nothing in their life besides shit on other people's dreams. That's great. Congrats. Hope you enjoyed that run on your only time on earth. What a fucking pathetic point of view. You said that this was before social media because I'm wondering too, like even on TV shows now, like i feel like tv shows there's team this one or team this one in the comment section is so opinionated that it like informs like even the show and do you think you said it's pre-social media because i was going to ask do you think it is social media that we all have an ability to leave a comment we we all had our opinions they used to just sit in the kitchen table all of our great grandmas had all sorts of opinions they were just confined to the park and their other two lady friends the dinner table right the pta now we're contributing to the ether but i don't think people understand like here's one thing that i'm fascinated by the cynics they're accomplishing absolutely nothing

21:21what do you think makes them think because clearly it's still feeding it so they're still doing it the cycle well it's feeding that validation they're getting right yeah they think they're doing something they're confused you know houses are confused an alcoholic a drug addict, a narcissist. I have really bad news for people. If you spend your life going around and shitting on people around the internet, you have a disease. It's called insecurity.

21:59Like it's going to be widely understood as a massive disease. People spend five, six hours a night going around the internet and shitting on people. That's a very hurt person. We didn't know alcoholism was a problem. You know that, right? Like we knew, but like we didn't know. Do you know what I mean? Like we're like, oh, he's a drunk. You know, like we do not understand this and I am going to yell at the top of my lungs about this. This will be diagnosed in due time. It's a really bad thing. and cancel culture, like tearing down the establishment because of your own pain became, it just does not work.

22:43It has never worked. It just leads to a very dark and angry place because you're just in a cocoon of dark. Toxic positive. Do you know how insane toxic positivity is? as if positivity is like a problem. It's one thing if you don't try and you shut your fucking mouth and you talk to no one and you're not trying by yourself within yourself, right? Like you're just sitting at home, you're not trying and you're not bothering anyone. I kind of, I'm like, you know, my heart pours for that person. I'm like, yo, I hope I can find them and be like, you should try. It's a whole nother thing to not try and spend all your time what you should be doing and trying to tear down everyone else who's trying.

23:37That's called cancel culture. That's called comment keyboard warriors. That's called a bunch of punk ass bitches.

23:49That's a disease, right? That's a disease. When you're interviewing, say, an executive, is this something that you can sort of spot in someone? Yeah, sometimes. Only if, by the way, only in the extremes. In interviewing, only the extremes. I knew in five seconds that Claude was awesome. Only if you're like in the top 10 % to the extremes. Like all of you, I couldn't. Really, I'm just talking, like you have to be like top 10 like delusionally, like almost like a Buddha, like me. I think like a lot of people can read me early even before I was me. Like you just kind of know when you meet people like oh wow, that's like a lot of positive energy and then you watch quickly and think back it up, right?

24:35Brandon. I knew that about Brandon in five seconds. That's why I still know him 40 years later. First day of high school. I knew. Knew. And then I went to a baseball card show with him six weeks in and he worked hard and I literally told my father I'm gonna hire this guy for the store in October of my freshman year of high school. Didn't work for us for eight years from that. Like knew that all the way to the other side. There have definitely been people I've known. Like I sometimes get like visceral, human, like goosebumps, like turn in my stomach when someone's very negative. Like an animal.

25:10You know, like animals, like run away. Like I run away from people. It's been a great gift of my life. Run away. Where I've gotten caught is sometimes I know someone's hurt. and I see them as a charity project. I've hired a lot of those. That's where I've hired poorly. They're not complete visceral poison. They're a charity project for me and I blended my charitable work in my professional job and I want to stop doing that. And I've stopped doing that. Like good news, all four of you are fairly new. None of you were hired as a charity case. Whereas like no bullshit, somebody could have gotten your jobs that was half as good as you in my subjective opinion of interviewing because I wasn't able to detach my charitable energy from my operational energy.

25:58Especially when it tends to always map similar to my dad, like deeply insecure, which is always the tell. Usually older, you know, like some of the characters that are still around like fit that. I just haven't fully reconciled yet. But I'm not adding anymore. How much of your success, very generally speaking, doesn't have to be anything specific, just generally, do you think has to do with having skewed toward maybe, toward some of that optimism, allowing serendipity to sort of just play out? Way more than you could ever imagine. Way more. Like, if I had to put a percentage on it, a number that would make your head spin.

26:42there is a potential my practical optimism framework the fact that i approach almost everything with a maybe with an effort to get to yes has a substantial double figure 20 30 maybe more maybe i can't even see it that's how much i know how big it is maybe all of it

27:06it's really a big deal that's why i'm passionate about everybody if you enjoyed this podcast, please go back and look at the prior episodes. They're loaded. I appreciate your attention. And thanks for being part of this journey. See you later.