Stop Waiting for Permission: Build the Life (and Business) You Want

0:00Hey, Gary V Audio Experience listeners. Do you have an idea that you're putting off because you're waiting for somebody else to tell you it's a good idea? Like starting a business, putting out your first piece of content, making a change you already know you want to be making? Well, in this episode, Gary shares inspirational and practical insights on what it takes to stop waiting for someone's permission and start bringing these ideas, these dreams to life, both personally and professionally. You'll hear him talk to everyday people about their ideas, their life, and you'll hear why confidence doesn't mean everything comes naturally, why someone else's success doesn't take away any from yours, and why getting people to care matters more than chasing a big number.

0:42This episode is just the right amount of Gary inspo and actual practical steps to bring those dreams to life. Enjoy. This is the Gary Vee Audio Experience. this concept of high paying jobs are draining i think that you can work very hard very hard from nine to six for nine hours very draining very draining but if you know that at seven o 'clock you're going to an audition or you're going somewhere to make content to follow your dream that from seven to midnight is your time to go after what you're doing at lunchtime instead of eating a fucking bologna sandwich you're running to an audition or you're emailing people for eating if you're doing the thing you love if you're chasing that's going to give you energy to be able to do the high performing job you are 23 you are ambitious you are on tea with Gary Vee right now, you've taken that, you're, you're trying, you're putting yourself out there.

1:47I think you can do both. And the reason you could do both is when you're doing your dream, that becomes the fuel to allow you to grind the eight hours a day, nine hours a day on the high performing job. You understand right now, you don't think you can do it because your fucking juice isn't full.

2:12Because you're not actively attacking your dream. You're worrying about not disappointing your parents. You're worried about helping your parents because you love them and they've done right by you. But it's actually the reverse. You need to go after your dream and work the job and help your parents and you'll be able to do both because the dream is gonna fucking feed you. Right now, you're not being fed so you don't have enough energy. you're mixing it up when you go first to the dream and know you're doing it it will feed you you can do both you can do both easy your interest in dwelling about yesterday is stopping you from attacking today which is keeping you away from being happy tomorrow that was good yeah that was really good you're gonna thank you yeah i like that one too I need to clip that clip.

3:11Brother, please do me a favor that we had this serendipitous moment together. You can't look backwards, man. I promise you, for all 1 ,400 of you in here, Ella J, Michael G, Michael V, Karen, but not a Karen, Christina, Jack, Koozie, Patricia, Ron the Nomad, listen to all of me. Please, all of you, listen to me. Please listen to me. the greatest cancer, the greatest pandemic, the greatest illness, the greatest issue, the greatest darkness that most of you are facing is your infatuation with yesterday that you have no control about. Brother, you're good. In three years, you'll be 42. To your point, I would be ecstatic to be 42.

4:01Sure. I turned 50 in eight days. Happy early birth. Thank you, brother. I'd be pumped to be 39. I'd be ecstatic to be 39. I'd punch my PP to be 39. And you're crying about being 39. Well. Right? I'm not sure I'm crying, but yeah, I understand your point. I think you're crying because you're not doing and you know the answer to what to do. You're either insecure or you're dwelling about missed opportunities or different circumstances. Or the worst two words to start a sentence. I wish.

4:46What about? Do you know the only place where I'm unhappy in my life? Do you know where that is? Probably on vacation. Nope. I love vacation, by the way. It's actually being a Jets fan. And it is the only time I say I wish. I wish we didn't trade Sauce Gardner. I wish we took Tom Brady. I wish we took Mahomes over Jamal Adams. I wish I grew up in Boston. I wish, and I'm miserable. And it's the only place I say I wish. Nowhere else am I upset. Yee-haw! I'm happy 24-7. And I never say I wish. You cannot say I wish.

5:29Brother, work a job, come home, cook and film it, post it, have in your bio the stand store thing with one hour consultation, put your email and then say, if you want me to cook for you in Vegas, I do private dinners, and you will be dumbfounded that one of those posts will lead to your first cooking session for a thousand bucks for some wealthy family in Vegas. You will cook. It will work, hopefully. It will create word of mouth, and you will find yourself making$1 ,000 a night in Henderson and on the strip cooking because you have a personal brand on social as a cook. And that happened because you worked hard at 7 p.m.

6:15to midnight for a year or two to create the world you wanted for you and your family. That will happen if you listen to me. I've stood. That's it, brother. But here's the sad part for most people in the chat and the coolest part for me and the other winners in the chat. It's ridiculously hard work for the next 36 months. Paul Garza, what's good? Where are you from? What's your question? I am from West Texas, Odessa, Texas. So I'm 34 years old. I actually just recently started a garage clean-out business. We go and clean people's garages out, and then we buy the stuff they don't want, and we're trying to resell.

6:53I love this. Bro, Paul, I swear on my children's health, I wish I was running this business. That is like my, you just literally described my dream life. Go and eat shit and clean shit. And I'm not scared of anything. I'll walk in dead rodent. I'll pick that shit up with my hands and not wash my hands for a week. I'm not scared of shit, Court. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck if it's unsanitary. And? And what, Court?

7:24I will let him talk. Let me just finish my excitement. and then to find like if i fucking clean out some dirty dirty fucking garage and then on top of it i find some he-man figures in the corner oh shit all right go ahead paul no so we're we're working through some bottlenecks of trying to get stuff sold out we're trying whatnot we're doing facebook marketplace it's going it's slow um i where i i'm in an interesting place right now is i also have a full-time job i'm a marketing director so i work you know eight in the morning i'm six in the morning, really, if you count taking my kids to work or to school.

7:59And, um, and then it's five to whenever to try and get stuff sold. And then we're mostly cleaning stuff on the weekends right now. So I think it's a process of going through and trying to build that out. I think the biggest thing, the question I have is it at what point or what kind of indicators do you look for, for like, yes, this works. This is going to be something that I can do full time. You're asking the right question. Watch this. Have you, Paul, have you heard about the concept of common sense? Yes. Good, let's play common sense game. I'm ready. Can I get some music for the common sense game?

8:34This could be an ongoing thing. I'm like, it's like, like we gotta make a little thing, like maybe make an AI song with me where I'm like rapping like comments. Like, I think it's like time for the common sense. It's like Price is Right. Common sense game. Common sense game. Common sense game. Common sense game. All right, good. It's time for the common sense game with Paul from West Texas. All right, Paul, question number one in the common sense game. Have you been able to get customers? Yes. How much are they paying you to clean a garage? $699. $699? Yes, sir. You need to quit your fucking job.

9:13Are you out of your fucking mind? What? $699? I would do it for$69, and that wasn't a high school joke.

9:28700 yes sir what yep and how much i mean let's go to the next question even though the game's over how many how many garages have you cleaned uh we've done 16 so far we're only about a month in paul you're an asshole paul you're a fucking asshole you have an enormous business do you know how many fucking people in west texas would clean garages for$3 an hour under the table? You just need to build the infrastructure. Let's go. How'd you get the 16? Facebook. Bro, because you know how to do the marketing, you know I'm right about this Facebook local ads thing. You know I'm right. And you also know that people are lazy or incapable or prefer like me.

10:16I'm not lazy, but I'd rather pay for something I don't want to do. I'll happily pay 700, but I'm rich as fuck. I have no idea why people are paying$799, Paul. Yeah, yeah. We have a large portion. Paul, wait. Go ahead. Here's the best part. Question three in the common sense. Play the music. The common sense game. Common sense game. The common sense game. All right, back it. Paul, question number three in the common sense game. Have you found any expensive worthwhile stuff in any of these 16 garages? We found furniture. sure i found some 600 baseball gloves i mean yeah there's some good stuff you are a straight paul i hate you i hate you i also broke these but that's good because these are broken anyway paul i hate you bro what are you talking about quit your fucking job now i think it's just it's the it's the security that scares me because i've got you can get Paul, you can get another job if this fails.

11:21You're doing this for like three hours, dominating. You'd be able to sell the shit on whatnot, eBay, Facebook marketplace, if you had time. You don't have fucking time. Yeah. $700? Yeah. Is the wife hearing this? No, she's not here. I'm sure she'll love to watch this later. Is anyone hearing this? Yeah, I've got my coworkers here at the job I'm talking about. They should quit too, Paul!

12:04Paul, if you quit and it fails, you can get another job being a marketing executive. Everybody's going to have jobs. Don't let this AI thing scare you. I could even just tail by your temperament. Like just talking to you for five minutes. By the way, this is how I hire people. Just five minutes I could tell that you can get another. By the way, I'm gonna make a prediction. If your garage thing fails, and you have to go back in the market, and you're like there, it's that night, right? You're laying in bed, and you're like, play the music. Like this is playing, right? You're thinking about this moment.

12:39All right, turn it off. And you're laying there, and you're hearing the music, and you go, man, fuck Gary V, right? If that's the moment you're in, right? Sure. Let me tell you what's going to happen the next day. You're going to get a job that pays you more than what you're getting paid now.

12:57Yeah, yeah. It's just, it's fear. You're 100 % right. You've sold, did you see my fucking face? $699? Yeah. in west texas yeah yeah we got we got oil money i know you do that's fair but still man that's manhattan prices

13:25damn it i was afraid you're gonna say all that uh but i think i knew it was coming everybody uh hope you're enjoying the podcast right now make sure you follow the podcast that's why i'm interrupting let's keep going on this show but follow the podcast it'll make my mom super happy What would you recommend to somebody who is passionate about being a business owner, but also has a chronic illness that makes them bedridden for one to sometimes two weeks per month? Give themselves grace.

13:55I admire them so much. Like, don't beat yourself up. You have a chronic illness. You know, I really want to talk about grace this morning. And the graceful goldfish, one of the underrated V friends. And I can't wait to develop that character. I don't know if there's any graceful goldfish collectors in here. I want, I want, that was a woman. What was her name again? Kayla. Kayla. Kayla, I want you to give yourself grace, Kayla. Like, you have a chronic illness. You didn't control that. That was God's plan. And I think that you should give yourself grace. You can't hustle 18 hours a day, 365 days a year.

14:32You just can't. I want people who lost a loved one, like a parent, someone they really love. God forbid a child or a spouse. If you're struggling right now and you're watching, I want you to give yourself grace. Of course you can't go grind. If that happened to me, I'm not fucking building V friends the next day. I'm dwelling, I'm mourning. Please give yourself grace to mourn, right? If you're starting your journey to building yourself back up and you've realized that you were suppressing very deep angers or upsetness towards a parent or an inappropriate uncle or an illness that your mother had with alcohol like give yourself a little grace now don't dwell in it don't dwell in it and lay in it forever but give yourself some grace everyone like you can't go hard if you don't have fuel people ask me like you know yesterday it was like what drugs gary be on gratitude fuck face.

15:37Happiness. Of course I can go hard 15 hours a day. I'm not weighed down.

15:46I really want you to give yourself grace. When I make mistakes, big mistakes, when I, Mr. Gratitude and Happy, like wake up on a gloomy day, I'm like, eh. I'm not like, oh shit, I suck now. You don't suck. Someone said I suck earlier in here when I was saying who's struggling, I saw it in the chat. You do not suck. Yeah, I wanna be ahead of the game, you know? You are ahead of the game. Viv, if you're on fucking tea with Gary V, you're ahead of the fucking game. I know. I'm serious though. I've watched so many of these and I'm like, I could have never imagined myself being here. So, I don't know.

16:25Honestly, you are, listen, the way to be ahead of the game is to be focused on happiness, not perceived societal success on money or clout or whatever else is running through your head. You wanna actually be, let me teach you something you'll never forget. You wanna be ahead of the game? Aim for fucking happiness. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm happy every day. Like, I, you know, I only do what makes me happy, but the thing is a lot of things make me happy and I'm happy with a lot of things. Me too, me too. Basically, you're talking about me right now. oh my gosh you did not just compare yourself to me yes i did that's crazy but um listen to me stay in that zone that's good don't let people talk you out of that and saying you got to focus on something or you got to be practical or you got to get real or you've got to figure it out at a certain point because you're going to be a senior like it's crazy you're a fucking child I know 60 year olds that don't have a fucking idea about life.

17:26Yeah, but just, I don't know. I just feel like, but I just wanna make the most of all my time, you know? Let me promise you the best way to make use of your time by not dwelling about making the most use of your time. By not overthinking, by not like debating, by not, you know, like the way to make most of your time is by doing shit. yeah so like I'm just a bad decision maker though I'm not like not a bad decision maker but I just I don't know how to choose between certain things and what I want flip a fucking coin I'm serious I'm serious you like them all you shouldn't be crippled by having lots of interests yeah yeah all right I'll try Gary I'll do it for you all right do it for me man all right have a great day.

18:19I love you, man. I love you back. See ya. I got out of$30 ,000 of debt because I sold my house and I moved in with my in-laws for like four or five months. So that like four or five months was tough, but it set my whole future up so much better with like my side hustle business and everything like that. So thank you so much for that. So, so Brian, you literally heard me talk about that theory. It sat in your head and you decided to do it. I did. Yeah. It sat in my head and I was like really playing with the fears of like man you know the judgment judgment I'm 38 years old and like I just got married to last year so it's like the judgment I'm so proud of you oh thank you thank you so much I appreciate you you know how much courage it takes to do that move but I'm so more proud of you because right now people can sense your happiness with it and And so many people have to sell their home and move in with their in-laws and with their friends.

19:17They don't realize it's a huge coup. It's a huge coup if you can't afford your lifestyle to reset a little humility. And by the way, I have no idea how much you like or don't like your in-laws. But one of the things that people don't realize, and I've gotten some of these emails, going back in with their parents or their best friend or their in-laws or one guy went in with their high school coach. also those three four five six months have been a lot of fun for a lot of people because they got closer to people that they like yeah yeah it was a great time and in-laws are awesome they had a pool so it was during the summer we had to swim a lot so yeah yeah it was like a little uh vacation how did your in-laws think about it were were they practical and like hey brian that's really like did they view it as a did they also see it as like wow good on you that you had the courage to do it?

20:05Did they judge? Yeah, super supportive. Super supportive and didn't judge. They enjoyed us being there. So we had a good time. And then it was just time. We live in an apartment now. So it gives us money and now we're waiting to possibly buy a house when this whole thing goes over. And yeah, it's just such a big relief off my shoulder. And I was just able to focus more on just my brand and what I want to do. Do you trust people? Not always. Yeah. That's why I'm enjoying this right now. I'm really excited about this brother i'm really happy you and i are together notice how that like that was a maybe for some people watching right now in my team that was like a left field question but notice how i went there and how good this feels for me right now and i would have bet all of it um on uh on you answering that way uh i'm very fortunate i have two very opposite parents one of them trusts everyone until they give them a reason not to and usually it takes her a lot of reasons for her to lose that trust.

21:05I was fortunate enough to get that DNA and also be fundamentally parented by that person. The other parent trusts no one. And even when someone gives them years of good reason to fully trust, he is not capable of trusting them and is always waiting for the other shoe to fall and is actually searching, almost often manifesting and creating some weird non-truthful justification to lose the trust yeah i would tell you that this is the path i want you to look through because you are doing a lot of great things in the first part of how we address the issue that we're talking about it's the second part that's actually the punchline of the conversation you and i are having yeah your dna and your circumstances of growing up and your the things that happened in life have put you in a place where it's a little harder to trust and that is leaning and leading to why we're in this predicament and i will tell you if this is any solace and you're gonna have to go on your journey and i'd love for you to hang out more with us and good news you're catching me at a great time in my career starting in october i'm gonna be doing tea with gary v and a night version of this okay i'm actually contemplating cutting out alcohol permanently.

22:29So the winding down with Gary Vee thing's a little tough. Though I might do a non-alcoholic wine brand deal. That could be a whole thing in itself. I might start a brand again. Anyway, nonetheless, I'd really like you to hang out a little bit with us, brother, because let me say one thing about this crew. There's a lot of people in here that I've gotten to know over the last four or five years that are incredibly worthy of your trust, and I already feel like I have a good sense that they quote-unquote won't let you down. And like anything in life, it becomes practice. Once you get three to four relationships where you get sustained two years, where you, it maybe was uncomfortable to trust, but they've done nothing to break that trust and you're starting to get more, and you're starting to get more comfortable, you'll then become stronger in being able to open up and trust.

23:14And then you'll become so strong that even when someone does fuck you up, right, and breaks your trust, it won't be a devastating knockout blow. It will just be a tough punch and you'll like wipe the blood off and move forward. that's what we need to build up. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. And that makes total sense. I think you're spot on in terms of your analysis where I do have trust issues from trauma in the past and everyone does. And by the way, good news, brother. It's incredibly valid. It's appropriate because me not having trust issues and you having trust issues does not make me better or more capable or more awesome.

23:49It's literally circumstantial. The fact that you have the strength to go on here publicly, talk about this, put yourself out means you're brother you're 90 of the way there people that are able to do what you're doing right now which is incredibly rare when they're feeling it most people that are in the exact predicament you're in are deflecting blaming and definitely not putting it out there right and so i'm incredibly proud of you i'm i'm very i admire it quite a bit to be honest i'm glad i went with my intuition and kept this call because i think not only are you starting to help yourself I genuinely believe in the thousands of people that are watching right now like literally there's somebody who's literally you right now on whatnot who's literally benefited from these seven to ten minutes and are on their way and man I think it's uh I think I think you can do this man I've watched people I've watched some people not be able to get there ones that I love deeply and I wish they could get further but I've seen some of those people including my father get much further along and I've watched people who actually it's time brothers yes and getting into the the groove of meeting people and then finding that they are supportive and then finding that you can trust and let me and like and let me take it let me take you to step three yeah once you realize that no one's better than you and that no human should be put on a pedestal even the ones you most admire, then it really gets going.

25:14The reason no one disappoints me is that I don't put anyone above me. We are only disappointed by ones that we put above ourselves. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and that's, that's, you know, a life of service. You know, you put people in front of yourself. By the way, by the way, I'm obsessed with life of service. I would argue that I give more than I take to everybody I ever meet. That has nothing to do with my ability to not put their subjective opinions about me at a higher pedestal than the subjective opinions I have about my own self. Correct. Correct. Absolutely. Absolutely. No, I appreciate this conversation, Gary.

25:56I thank you for all your advice and support as always. I'm like playing Blackland Minecraft when I'm nine years old and they're outside playing football still. And it's just like, I mean, I just knew it was my thing. I just didn't know it was okay to say it yet, you know? Brother, I promise you, it's more than okay. It's required. Yeah, I know that now. My man, you know you're tasting success. You know you're tasting happiness. It sounds like you've dealt with a lot of adversity in the past. And so this new lane isn't computers. This new lane is happiness and prosperity. That's what it feels like too, and that's the best part.

26:33I mean, it's really. But it also potentially could be a scary part, right? Because you're not as used to it. It's definitely heart racing for sure. Bro, let work on yourself, whether it's therapy, exercise, listening to more positivity. You're on the cusp of a substantially great change in your life. I am so proud of you and so happy. Thank you, Gary. Thank you so much, man. This is, I've been a fan for years. This is awesome. It's really awesome for me. Bro, it's really awesome for me too because I'm not only happy for you, but this piece of content is going to help a lot of people because there's a lot of kids sitting in your seat right now, my guy.

27:13Can I say, I know there are, the market for CRT gaming, for GameCubes and Melee. Bro, I don't mean fucking CRT gaming and fucking GameCubes. I mean fucking being an important, no bro, I know that's big. I've been buying that shit and selling it on eBay since you were fucking born. I'm talking about kids that are fucking finally ready to actually be happy by not being insecure about what makes them happy that's the lane i'm talking about not fucking gamecube sorry sorry i'm just no i'm joking i'm joking i'm joking i want to show you real quick this is my best friend um jacob humphries he he's one of my friends who passed away big counter straight guy and my mom tina so rest in peace to them but i mean they encouraged me to start a business of some kind they didn't know what it was yet either it was up to me to figure that out so I'm doing it for them honestly but brother yeah do it for you and then if you do it for you you'll be doing it for them I need you to hear me on this do it for you make yourself happy and then I promise you moms and best friend are gonna be smiling like crazy up there for you Do you understand?

28:23100%. The way you become selfless in life is by becoming selfish about your own happiness. No one is strong enough to help others if they're not good. 100%. Nobody can fucking help if they're not in a good place. Do you understand? Most people use the cover up of I'm gonna help others as a disguise to them not being good. few unfortunately are helping from a place of strength we need to get to a place of strength where you're good this brings you joy this is your fucking lane this is what you need to do bro this is your life so um in the process of me getting back to you know where where i'm at now um i've had to i had to write down a lot of what you know of some of my baggage and clear it up a little bit and you know some of the resentment and and really process it to be able to let it go and um a big thing was a list of fears yeah and I realized that you know getting completely honest with myself that the that one of my fears was not only the fear of failure but the fear of success um for for years I've set the bar extremely low so any expectation of anybody else was just lost on me because, hey, we know we can't do it.

29:53So why even expect anything out of them? That way there was no letdown. I was already let down. You know what I'm saying? So now that I know that, you know, I can get good grades and I can get straight A's and I, you know, I just, you know, got a job that, you know, I've been working towards. And, you know, it's my first job out of drug addiction after a decade is makes more than what my mom's made. And my mom's been at her job for 30 plus years. And so it's like, man, I have I have the real opportunity to fuck this up. You know, like what if what if I'm not competent? What if what if I go in there and straight A's don't mean shit to practical applications?