The Real Reason People Are Miserable | Nick Cannon

0:00This is the GaryVee Audio Experience.

0:30as if Boomer's parents did good by them. The entitlement's crazy. I'm joined by one of the great motivators of our generation. It's our second session sitting down and I mean when it comes to culture, when it comes to just being a thought leader, how he sees the world in business all the way to family, the chairman of VaynerX, VaynerMedia, six time New York Times best selling author, all the way down to a children's book author, my man, Gary V. My dude. Thank you for having me. Come on, man. It's an honor. Our last session, you made it so plain. You put it out there, mind your fucking business, and your mental health will be better.

1:17You don't know how much that's resonated with me, and I'm pretty sure of the world. But now I want to get to this space in this session when you're such a motivator. You make people feel like they can do it from your own personal journey. But then even how you motivate. I would love to talk about, you know, for the people that are sitting watching and they need motivation. They don't have what you have naturally. is that something that can be taught? Or is it experience that creates that? One, how did you become such a motivator? And then two, I mean, what are some words for those people that are just really feeling that?

2:03The first one's easy to answer. It's the byproduct of gratitude and guilt. I've thought a lot about this. You know, over the last 10 years, I'm like, man, why do I feel so compelled to make? It comes with so much shit. Back to minding your own business. Like, a lot easier to not put yourself out there. Right. You know? But I feel like I got so blessed with optimism and practicality. If you get those two blended, like it's good, but you gotta fucking do, like, you know, that mix. It can't be just like the secret, like, oh, if you wish it, you're a billionaire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta do shit.

2:41Yeah, yeah. So I'm grateful for that. But I also feel guilty because I know how much of it was genetics and the luck of the draw of my upbringing. I got lucky that I came from nothing. I got lucky that my mom was such a beast. I know that people don't all have that. I saw it up close and personal. May she rest in peace. My grandma, I don't think she did the right things in raising my dad. I saw how she tried to cut into my mom. I'm glad I knew. I get that not everyone's blessed. Why am I a motivator? I feel like I'm obligated. I feel like that saying, right? to great things, great responsibility.

3:19I feel it. I feel it. I'm like, man, I'm real lucky out of here. Out of eight billion, there's other people, but I'm in the mix. I'm like peace of mind and fucking energy. Not only that, my mom's me, but she doesn't have the communication skills I have. Right? So there was a lot of things that happened to get me here. As far as the answer, it's kind of simple, like our last session, back to simplicity. it breaks down in my head of like why not be motivated to a couple of reasons one why not you my number one thing that i hate about people when we talk when i talk to them one-on-one or on dm or on text i do a lot of interacting with people is they start immediately of why not my dad is this my mom is this my gender is this my race is this my neighborhood is this this disease that I'm gonna say something right now that I believe more than anything else when it comes to the subject of being motivated if one human being in the history of the world has ever made it however you decide obviously you could talk about financial and success but you could also talk about peace of mind and general happiness if anyone that looks like you who's ever made it, your excuses are over.

4:44If you're gonna tell me that I can't make it because I'm from this neighborhood, I'm gonna fucking Google or AI the shit out of that neighborhood. Like I've done this a lot. Like people will send me a message and be like Gary you don't get it. I'm from the south side. I'm like, but so is this person. So what happened to them? I think when you eliminate the excuses that are true, it is true that there are different barriers for race and gender. It is true. These things are true. But if it was true in reverse then every rich white kid from the Upper East Side would make it and most of the people I know that are second or third generation rich white kids from the Upper East Side are super fucked up.

5:28So I think first it starts with why not you? I believe in that. Like why not you? And then after that, it goes down to this. This and this. I believe there is a direct correlation. This is why I'm so proud and humbled and I appreciate being on this. Let me say it actually more plain fucking English. The fact that you decided to listen to this instead of all the other shit on earth, music, movies, other podcasts, the fact that you decided to listen to this shit right now, me and you, on this fucking remarkable, I love the fucking name of this shit. I think you guys killed it. Means that you actually have a shot because I think there's a direct correlation of what you fucking consume to who you are.

6:17If you fucking watch Fox News and CNN all day, you're gonna be depressed. I don't know what else to tell you. And I feel like a lot of people actually understand that because I can tell you right now the most fascinating thing at the time that we're filming this. It's late, late September. We're about to be in October of the election year. the amount of friends, acquaintances, business associates that this time four years ago were 24 hours consumed in politics that aren't even paying attention. Right? You feel it too? You can see it, right? Because they're just like, it didn't do anything for me last time.

6:55So what do I think? I think literally, Nick, and I try not to, look, I think the simplicity is the complexity. two simple things. What do I think? One, you first have to fucking decide that you can. Because if you spend your day saying I can't because I'm overweight, I'm undereducated, I got born into the wrong family, then it's over. You decide. And two, audit the fucking shit out of what you consume and who you hang with. If you hang out with people that are complaining all the time, you become a complainer. And so can it be taught? I even think about the three guys that I'm traveling with on this trip.

7:39What I know about them, do I believe that they are different in some ways or shape because they spend time in my cocoon with me? Yes, I do. Different variances for all of them because they had different things that they came with. But I associate to all three of them, Zach, Dustin, Sid so much because I see so much of them in me, in my dad, in my family, like what I understand? And do I think that all of them are happier, more motivated, hungrier and more capable emotionally because they're around me all the time? Yes, I do. And I think I am that way because I was around my parents. Right. Now, as much motivation as one can give and even from your perspective specifically, it comes off as, I don't want to say domineering, but very strong, very, when you walk into a room, people take notice.

8:39The meek are probably envious of that energy. But then even in some contexts, you know, people like I would go back to talking about that alpha male. it can be looked at as narcissistic this is a term that's been demonized as of lately but it's like you know if we're talking about the psychological spectrum of confidence it starts in a space of like oh I'm motivated I feel good about myself, I'm confident then it's overly confident then the next thing I think it becomes arrogance and arrogance then steps into that space of narcissistic How does one not find themselves getting labored while still trying to be confident and motivated in their day?

9:29Well, first, it's funny. When I hear narcissism, I actually think it's insecurity wrapped up in a disguise.

9:39You know, I think true confidence is easy. Meaning, you know, for me, I'm aware that people will judge me from afar that have not spent any time with me because we live in a world where they could have seen one clip on Instagram and they're like, that's their take on me. I don't like that guy. He cusses too much. Yeah, fuck. I get killed with people that don't like cursing. And I'm high energy and it's competitive and competition is misunderstood. And so, but I think when people are around me, they see the warmth. I think intent is a big part of the equation in what you're talking about. Right.

10:14Why are you trying to walk into a room peacocking? Right. For me, I'm trying to do some leadership shit. I'm trying to be like, yo, fuck it, let's go, I got you. I'm so good, I want that for you. I don't need anything. Like, one of the things that is most fun for me is not relying on another man. God, I like that shit. Not emotionally, not financially. Like, boy, is that a good ass feeling. And so I get hyped for it, but yeah, I mean, you know, first of all, to answer your question directly, by not giving a fuck, if someone thinks you're a narcissist. But I think it comes in an interesting point, Nick.

10:53Here's a big point for you. Where I try to counsel some kids on the come up that ask me for help is I tell them, they're like, Gary V, I have a lot of kids come through that are on their come up. They're like, Gary V, I don't give a fuck what people think. I'm like, cool, but you don't get to be selective. They're like, what do you mean? I'm like, I'm glad that you're hearing me and when someone says you're a piece of shit or you fucking suck or you're not as good as you think you are, that you don't hear that. I go, but the key is to not hear when they leave a goat emoji. The whole game, Nick, is based on being quiet on both sides.

11:25The reason I don't struggle with people telling me I suck is because I equally don't believe them when they tell me I'm the greatest. They say if you live for the praise, you gotta die by the criticism. Bro, that's real shit. Saying it in another poet's way, the second you get high on your own supply, you're fucking finished. And so like I get serious roses at this point in my career. Especially as, you know what's great about real life? Real life is the longer you live, the more exposed you get. So as I keep going on, more people actually get to see me on subtle things. Not in like this kind of setting.

12:07They'll see me at the airport in real life, open the door for a lady and be like, damn, they'll see, like they'll meet my people. my people there's more of them and they'll have dinner with them and they'll be like I'm sure all your people get this too but what's he really like? Right? And they'll tell a real fucking story on some real shit. And so you know I think the way to really navigate that is to not read your press clippings you're just a man like for me it's easy. I get heralded because I'm good at business cool thank you. But like I'd much rather be heralded for who I actually am but most people will never see that.

12:46And that's okay. And so honestly, I think it's this. Cut the noise out. Focus on what you're consuming. I'm telling you, the mental health thing, the motivation thing, it's 100%, 100 % curated to what you're consuming. Really? 100%. Why was everybody depressed in the Soviet Union? Because the Russian government tried to control everybody with negativity and fear. Why is America... We're a long ways away from the politicians back in the day that were selling Optimist. Why was Ronald Reagan, Ronald Reagan won 49 of 50 states. I just, for all of you that don't fuck with history like that, that man won 49 of 50 states in the election in 84.

13:29That's crazy. He only lost Minnesota because the person he was running with was the governor from Minnesota. He won 49 of 50. Why? He sold Optimism. That's not what politicians do now. Absolutely not. Why was Kennedy so popular? It was fucking hope. I don't have to remind you, Obama was, listen, no matter how much people are Republican, Democrat, Obama was slinging optimism. Now on both sides, it's all fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear. That's why everyone's depressed. Because everyone's scared. But here's the flip side. People are like, oh, social media. I'm like, no, no, no. The mainstream media, you turn on your television.

14:08All 200 channels, if you're that blessed, have fear. You turn on social media, good news. There's unlimited fear. But there's some fucking characters running around like you and me too. I can tell you right now, I don't weaponize fear. I think it's a loser's game. I think it's short term it works. It's why I don't fuck with a lot of bosses. If we don't hit our numbers, we're all going to get fired. I'm like, that shit will work for a minute. Real leaders don't do that. Nope. And I mean, you hit on something so much. There's like depression and fear. and fear are attached to each other. Like by the hit.

14:46They're the fucking same. Bro, you know why all the kids are fucking anxious? Because there's unlimited TikToks and all they keep pounding down these kids' throat is you won't have it as good as your parents did. They're playing unlimited propaganda on these kids of like, houses used to cost this. All you see is these kids. Meanwhile, in the history of life, there's never been so many fucking 25 year olds making 500K a year. Yeah. Dancing on a fucking stage, just looking fucking hot. When you were hot 30 years ago, you did some shit with it, but now you can make it. You know exactly. I don't think people understand.

15:21You know as a comedian, all these comedian kids, I watched Batch go from his first find to who he is now. That shit wasn't guaranteed back in the day. You had to get discovered. It's never been better. Nick, it's never been better. And these kids are consuming some shit of like, you've had it worse. All these Gen Z kids are like, fuck boomers. As if boomers' parents did good by them. The entitlement's crazy. By the way, these kids just sit in their bedroom watching videos of kids who are like, boomers fucked it up. Boomers didn't fuck it up. They fought wars for you motherfuckers. You'd be speaking fucking German, my guy.

16:02Are you fucking stupid? We need to stop focusing on negativity. Instead of saying, thank you motherfuckers for going to Vietnam and going to fucking fight Germans and fucking real shit. They're talking about fucking inflation. That's real shit, I get it. But meanwhile, Nick, you know this. 18 year old kids that watch that content and be like, yeah, fuck fucking 60 year olds. How about you get off your fucking ass and stop playing Madden and go fucking work? The entitlement's the poison. What they're consuming's the poison. For example, I don't know if you know this about me. some of you in this room may know I made unlimited videos of me going to garage sales and buying shit.

16:43Why'd I do that? I was at the height of my business fucking success. People put me on a bougie ladder. I'm fucking going to Davos and shit. The fuck am I going to garage sales for? Because I'm trying to make videos for kids that are like I got$8. The world's fucked. No it's not. Wake up at 6 o 'clock in the morning on Saturday. Go to three garage sales with eight bucks. Buy some shit. Come home. Take a picture with your phone because I know all you motherfuckers have a phone. Right. post it on eBay and take eight to 39 and then 39 to 140 and then 140 to 800 because I did that. I had no money. And I didn't even have the internet like this.

17:19So honestly, where does the motivation come from? The truth. The truth is it's never been better. So as one who motivates many and I find myself in this scenario quite often. The people who aren't receptive to the message. I'm praying for them. I saw you just gotta leave it there. No, I'm trying. Did you just watch the four minute rant I just gave? I didn't do that shit for me. I'm really trying to pull the fuckers out of here. I'm trying to, like literally, when I do shit like this, I'm like, there's six kids. Fuck the fucking millions that we'll watch over the next 10 years. I'm literally sitting, that last four minutes was for six fuckers who I'm like, that kid might be at the tipping point.

17:59Right now is like, fuck it. I'm ready. I'm not listening to my stepdad who says the world's the worst. Or if this person, let me say it this way. Let me say it a different way based on the context right now. If you think who wins the presidency is gonna make it better for you, you already lost. Yeah. That means you're relying in this scenario on another man or woman to fix it for you. Right. So I do social media for a living and a lot of research. There are multiple people that we track for just trying to learn. Do you know how many people have tweeted that they're voting for Trump because Biden did nothing for them in the last four years and four years ago there's a tweet of saying they're voting for Biden because Trump did nothing for them?

18:41What's the number? Thousands. Thousands. That's called, it's not a politician's problem. It's your motherfucking problem. So, what do I try to do? I fight for it every day. I come on fucking porn-ass platforms like this and I try to get one person out of the foxhole at a time. I'm not trying to boil the ocean I know what's going on we need people speaking positive truth because it is positive I'm going to say it again you and I when we came up it wasn't common for a 25 year old to have fucking$500 ,000 now there's unlimited fucking TikTok why are we choosing to look at the bad shit why don't we talk about the good shit I mean you hit it on the head specifically in this space of counseling and mental health that an optimistic view on anything going on in life is always going to be better than sitting in a low...

19:42But it's hard. You know what's easy, my man? You know what's easy? You know what's easy? Canceling. Canceling's easy. Canceling's easy. You know what's hard? Counseling. Canceling's easy as shit. I take out my phone, somebody said some shit, and I just go on Twitter and be like, canceled. Fuck that person. and everything they build. Counseling take work. Canceling's fucking lazy for losing. Yeah. And like I said, it goes back to ego of like you have the ability to cancel but nobody wants. Bro, the whole, back to sports to wrap this up. Yeah. The whole world on this cancel culture thing got confused.

20:26They think the fans in the seats dictate what's happening on the field. Yeah. Cancel culture is just fans booing. yesterday's Jets game which was very frustrating I sat in the fucking rain got soaked on to lose 10-9 on some shit we should have won all the people around me we should have ran the ball on that play okay Monday morning quarterback cool if it worked what would have you said that's what came to society society's running around telling everybody what they should do instead of doing it themselves I mean you make it so plain man you make it so cause it is plain it's plain man it's super fucking plain instead of telling me what I should be doing why don't you do it you do it yeah

21:13you do it motherfucker you do it you do it nobody's doing shit because it's too easy it's easy man I'm telling you I don't wish this on us but I'll speak for America okay it'd be you know like and just the world everybody's concentrating on dumb shit that the second something really bad happens, then we'll reset. It's what's always happened in the history of the world. They always say that when a tragedy occurs that's when people come together. But the fact that we gotta wait for that is very unfortunate. It's because people are just not being accountable. By the way, you can blame the politicians.

21:50They're doing it. They ain't affecting me. We need you in there. We need you to get into the world of politics. Do you know what's funny? And I gotta end with this because I know I gotta run and you're wrapping up. You know what's fucked up with politics in America? You can't win a primary. The reason America's situation's tough is you have to be so far left or so far right to even get the nomination because you're only voting amongst yourselves. But that's the system and that's where we're at and hopefully somebody, look, do I believe somebody will come along and actually have the skills to bring us together just like the last generation of politicians had the skills to tear us apart?

22:29Yeah, I think so. I'm optimistic. Optimistic. I think that's the message for this session indeed. No, man. Thank you for having me. Always a pleasure. Gary Vee, dropping that wisdom, counseling us. Like, subscribe, and I'll holler at you next time.