Why Age Is a Mindset, Not a Limitation

0:00This is the Gary Vee Audio Experience. Today we're going to talk about ageism And you know we say age is just a number I say age is a mindset How old are you? I'm 49 49 Let's go 49 How many 49ers do we have here? Let's go Oh a lot Let's go How many 63 year olds do we have here? Own it, own it Am I the only one? Oh shit Okay. God damn it, I'm the oldest one in the room. I'm okay with that because it is about age. But you gave a quote that I'm going to read because I'm kind of obsessed with it. And the topic is, it's never too late, age is nothing but a number. Gary's quote, just because you're losing at halftime doesn't mean it's over.

0:49Yeah. You wrote that on a napkin. Yes. Okay, why'd you write that? You know, it was funny when, obviously, anytime you're like, I hear that there's an opportunity to do something with you, the answer is always yes. And then I find out what the topic is, and the flight out here, I found out that this was the topic we were going to talk about. And I was excited because it's been a huge theme in my life. I've come to realize probably in my 40s as I'm wrapping that up that one of the biggest impacts on my entire life was the fact that both of my parents lost a parent very young. I was born in the Soviet Union, really challenging place as I'm sure many of you know.

1:32My mom lost her mom at five. My dad lost his dad at 15. And I grew up in the U.S. in a very immigrant family and obviously my mom was very affected by what happened to her and what used to happen in the old country, a lot of people died very early, alcoholism. It was a very bad place, way more than I think Americans realize. And my whole life, my mom was like, if something happens to me or your dad, you take care of your sister. And I realized that she was well-intended with that, but it became a currency of fear for me, like a very heavy thing. And I just have always thought about age from the lens of gratitude.

2:12every day that something bad did not happen to my parents, including this morning, kind of for the majority of my life was a framework of me having a happy day. I think a lot of how I roll, even though I'm competitive and ambitious, I think people like yourself and others in this room, a small group that actually know me, not what they see out there, know that I'm kind of calm and it's chill And it's because as much as I'm passionate about my career or the things I talk about, they're uncomfortably secondary to the health and wellness of my inner circle and my family. I have to say I've watched you with your mom and your dad and bringing them to your, you know, events and the love.

3:01And what's amazing about you, there are a lot of amazing things about you, but you are authentically you, unapologetic, living your life with no regrets. And I think that's where your calm comes from. Joy brings calm. Joy brings happiness if you can see, smell the tree. I think, I mean, we're going to a different subject, but I think this may be valuable. I think the reason I can roll the way I roll and say things that maybe the industry or other people don't think is right at the time is it's never poorly intended. My intent is good. You know, I may say it brashly or very Jersey. It may be different than what everybody else is saying at the time.

3:41But the reason I go that way, why is it easy? It's because I know I'm not saying it for wrong reasons. And I think that's just good parenting. And I'm the byproduct of that. But going back to the subject matter, I also think my whole life I've had a P &L, if we're just talking business now. I'm very practical. I haven't had the luxury of being an influencer of. Everything I've ever done since I was 22 years old is if I can't make payroll, there's big problems. My life has depended on my operational capabilities. And then the responsibility of my family was on that. And my whole life has been built on that.

4:15I actually think the reason I talk about age a lot is because I think it's practical. It's logical to not think you're 63 or 49 and think it's over. I think we in marketing, I think this whole week, we will make and talk about things based on yesterday's form of marketing. I believe we talk about age based on yesterday's form. I believe we're still affected by our grandparents and our parents in thinking 60 and 70 is a certain number. The math is very clear. The advancements in technology around health are very clear. Like, this is such a blessing to say, a shocking amount of people that I'm looking at in this room right now will live to 100 years old.

5:02It's happening fast. I don't know how much you nerd out or you spend time on what's going on, but even things like Ozempic and things that we're figuring out, like, day by day, AI and, like, having the ability to find cancer at a level that the best doctors in the world, what do you think it's gonna look like in 10 years? And so for the under 40 year old set in this room, you're going to 120. I'm being serious. So to me, you can imagine if like, and again, a lot of my content resonates with young people. I get a thousand DMs a week from people like, I'm 26 and I'm fucking lost and life is over.

5:39And I'm like, fuck, like you haven't even started. and then again, kind of scoping the room here, like the majority of the room right now is not at halftime. And so what on earth are people doing in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s where they're like, oh, it's over. Let me calm it down. Let me wind it down. I think it's crazy. And I don't mean like go and work and build. I'm just talking about like the joys of life and like what are you gonna sit for 27 years and just wait to die? Like, and I mean this. I think people think, this is why I challenge this conversation and I talk a lot about it. I think people don't realize they're acting as if they're gonna die at 70 when they're gonna live to 96.

6:26And I think once you understand that, it starts to change your decisions. And I'll go deeper because I think this is the essence of this room. I think people stay in relationships that they're not happy with because they're like, well, it's another 15 years. Like, I mean that. I think people think that way. I think people stay in jobs, like don't go after goals in life, don't go explore things. So, yeah, I think age is one of the misunderstood variables right now in our society. And I love this subject matter. But, you know, all the things you say, like I say, 60 is the new 60. It's not 60 is the new 40.

7:00I'm happy to be 60 turning 63 in a month. And I talk about my age because I am in a whole new chapter of my life and in meaning and in why and in purpose and in value. And I have reimagined myself so many times. Well, first of all, if I looked like you did at 63, I would tell every fucking person I was 63 because it comes with compliments. Botox, got it. But again, I think, you know, back to like maybe intertwining marketing, I think one of the most interesting consumer trends of the last 20 years is the youthification of society. Right, like back to 63 and 49, I would love to show you a picture of a 63-year-old woman and a 49-year-old male executive 30 years ago, I promise you, they don't look like us.

7:50Like we've had this heavy youthification. Unfortunately, a lot of it's quite vain and a lot of things that are actually shortcomings, but on the other side of the pillow, there's a lot of great with that and a lot of aspiration and a lot of really neat variables and just living life and not wrapping it up. Again, I think the thing I believe probably as much as any other perspective I have is how you see life is how it is. Right? And so to me, when people are like, social media's bad, the algorithm's making it bad, I always give them my phone and I'm like, go through my algorithm. And when I go through it, it is uncomfortably positive with a little bit of wine and New York Jets.

8:33and then when I go now give me yours and it's news about kidnapping and murder and politics I'm like the algorithm is you and that's how I feel about age if you decide that 57 is a wrap then 57 is a wrap if you decide that 86 is another 15 years of doing then 86 is another 15 years of doing and I think if one person leaves this talk and realizing that they have the wrong relationship with their age, it could have a substantial impact on how they live their life. And how people see you. I mean... I'll be honest with you. Fuck that, for me at least. Like, I need you to see yourself first on this.

9:16People will, you know, like, how people see you, to your point, it matters. But like, if you don't see yourself the right way, that barrier will never play out. But that's my point. Yeah. It starts with you. If you don't see yourself as relevant and resilient and agile and pivotal and strong and dynamic and brag about yourself, no one else will, regardless of your age. And then age adds to another factor. And I want to talk about gender because you are a big champion of advising so many companies. And I'm sure you have especially women, and I'm going to put women in that box because it is true and we are judged by our age, which is why we're always afraid to share it, which is why I boast and brag about my age so that we all will go there and realize you don't want to hire me.

10:05You're making a big loss because I'm better than I've ever been at my age. And so age is a mindset. But women do have issues where they age out. I mean, have you ever been told you're too old? Absolutely not. Right. How many women have been told they're too old or they might not be the right one? But this is important. A couple things on this variable. The reason I've never been too old is no one has ever had say. I've never worked for anyone. You know, like, you know, I think that, you know, one of the great things about entrepreneurship is whether you're white or brown, girl or boy, the only boss you have is the market, the consumer.

10:43It's why I've always been such a champion of entrepreneurship because the merit that it plays on is so different. To your point, if I worked in a company, if I, the human being, me, Gary, worked in companies, I would have been told a lot of things. I would have been fired I've been told that I would have been a disaster I would have been because to me I'm passionate about being historically correct more than political in the moment and so I would have struggled but to your point and I'll let you continue there's a lot to that so go ahead well I mean first of all where is the purchase power? how old are people buying?

11:17and who has more money by the way which is so crazy when we think about age I don't even know why it's even a thing and it's back to what you were talking about your inner voice self imposed I made a post the other day I was in the middle of nowhere in Montana for a week doing nothing and that's incredible and recharging but also gets you thinking in new ways I just woke up last week I'm going to make music I'm going to win a Grammy and I'm going to do that because it's ridiculously funny in some ways but the reason I got there was I'm passionate about communicating, and music is a form that I've not touched on, and it's a medium that clearly over resonates with humans in the history of time, and I've used certain mediums, books and videos and keynote speeches, and I was then analyzing, why am I doing that?

12:12I'm like, you know, and one of the points was, because I've checked a lot of boxes in my life. I think one of the cool things about getting older is it allows you to completely rewrite the script. There's so many of us sitting in this room, whether you're 30 or 70, you had certain things you wanted to do. And luckily for a lot of us in this room, obviously not everything, but some of those things you accomplished, family or marriage or professionally. Again, I think one of the cool things is, as we go through this journey, seeing it as an advantage, not a disadvantage. One of the coolest things about getting older is playing a new game that has no downside because you've already won the game you played.

12:54Amen to that. I get more and more fearless. Yeah. And braver and braver with where I am today. 100%. Unfortunately, so many people overvalue outside validation and people's opinions. And one of the things that happens as you get older is you start to learn that lesson that high school was a long time ago and let's get out of that framework. But yeah, I mean, I really hope people start looking at this as an offense. but more than anything, the practical nature of, like do you realize what's happening with modern medicine? Do you realize even the people in here that are less good at exercise and eating are remarkably better than what humans were doing 30 years ago?

13:33And like, please factor that in, because again, I really do believe if people realize they had 50 more years, it would really change the way they're viewing their day to day, and then that's what starts It's the process of enjoying those 50 years. Amen to that. I think you get old when you have nothing to do. Anyways, that's when age is not just a number. When people are sitting around because they didn't think about their next 50 years, and they're shrinking because they're doing nothing. Shel, I guarantee almost everyone in this room knows a grandparent or an uncle or somebody they knew that literally worked their whole lives, right, and literally were like, yay, or maybe not even yay, just decided to retire and were literally gone a year later.

14:20Purpose matters. Purpose matters. Purpose matters. And that's your why. And I just have to say my father passed six years ago. He was 83. But he lived life with no regrets, a full, full life. And one day he called me up as a researcher and he said, Shelly Fran, when he's mad about something, he uses my middle name, Shelly Fran. I said, yes, Daddy. Why? He goes, well, I was on an airplane and I got a survey. And so, of course, I took it because you. You do what you do. You do surveys. So I took the survey and it really pissed me off. And I said, what? What pissed you off about a survey? Because when I got to the end of it, they asked me my age.

14:52And he was maybe 75 at the time. And I said, so? He said, well, I lied about my age. I put 40. And I said, well, Danny, why did you do that? He said, because I'm like a 40-year-old. And like a 40-year-old. And he said, and if I put 75, they would have disregarded my answers because they would have thought I was kind of ready to die and not valuable anymore, and they would have disregarded. So he says, you've got to fix that. And I said, you're so right, Daddy, because life is not about age. We don't buy anymore by age. It's not demographic profiling. It's psychographic. It's a whole new way of thinking about a human being.

15:30It's funny that that story invoked this thought. I've been thinking about this for quite a while, which is, and I mentioned it earlier, we've become infatuated over the last 30 years, 40 years in society on youth culture, right? We want to look younger, but even more interestingly, if you look at consumer behavior in society, we have started to value the opinions of 20. Like a 15-year-old girl in the household now is a remarkably powerful decision maker on what's bought because of a relationship with the mom. There's just a lot to this. and you know it's funny John and I were flying out he was talking about like the concept of 2025 predictions and business and like Galloway said this is the platform of the year and when you were just talking I have a prediction that I've been thinking a lot about and I don't think it's 2025 I wish it was but I do believe within the next decade and I think this will land with everybody I think as you go through life you realize society has pendulum swings whether it's political or socially I think that we've been on a consistent 30-year run of putting youth culture on a pedestal, and what we've lost, and this is definitely going to resonate with a lot of people, is I think we've really lost our way in our respect for wisdom and the elderly.

16:48I think that a lot of us, when we were children in this room, the grandparent was the beacon. What grandma said at the dinner table, that was gospel. And now with the way we've gone into youth culture and the rise of technology where we think it's funnier to make fun of grandma that she doesn't know how to use the app versus the words she has to say because, you know, she lived life, not this 23-year-old that's listening to her. I predict in the next 20 years we will see a resurgence of society actually when people are going to be proud to put 75 in the survey. I can promise you right now, if you put 75 in a survey or 40 in the survey, if you're talking about life and real shit, I'm going to value that 75 a lot more.

17:35And so I think, I believe it will happen, and I'm looking forward to the day where we get back to actually respecting our 70, 80, 90-year-old citizens a lot more because they've played this actual game. Yeah, they've earned the wrinkles too. And I just want to say, my father, we chased total solar eclipses. He flew an ultralight airplane. He was a traveler beyond travel. And he called himself ageless. And I think that it just resonates. And I don't know if you saw the 110, 5-year-old woman that jumped from the airplane skydiving. I mean, go, girl. I mean, oh, my God. Vim, vigor, energy. I mean, she needed her walker to get her onto the plane.

18:18But then she jumped from the goddamn fucking plane. And we have a lot of people here who probably have, and I've had this at moments with my parents, and you have that story, and then a lot of us can think around a sibling, an aunt, an uncle, a parent, who's 62 and is just sitting, waiting for it to wrap up. We have to change our relationship with these numbers, but again, not for motivation or rah-rah, or you can do it, the math. The math. Like, the technology is going so fast, people are going to live, I really believe most of you are going to live longer than you think. And women longer than men, just saying.

18:54Yeah, that's true. All right, come on. Just letting you know that. He's got to go. Thank you. You're the best. And your favorite ever. Father.