In short
Podcast Episode Summary: You’re Not a Loser, You’re Just Losing
Overview In this episode of the GaryVee Audio Experience, titled "You’re Not a Loser, You’re Just Losing," Gary Vaynerchuk discusses themes of fear, insecurity, and personal growth. He emphasizes that many individuals feel like they are "losing" due to being in unfavorable environments, rather than lacking capability. Additionally, he shares insights on the importance of emotional intelligence in the age of AI, parenting without coddling, and addressing toxic mindsets.
Key Themes
- Fear and Insecurity
- Fear as a Limiting Factor: Gary addresses how fear can paralyze individuals, preventing them from realizing their potential. He encourages listeners to embrace vulnerability and honesty when facing challenges.
- Environmental Influence: He argues that people often feel defeated because they are in the wrong environment, not because they lack ability.
- Emotional Intelligence (EI) versus Artificial Intelligence (AI)
- The Importance of EI: Gary asserts that emotional intelligence will become increasingly valuable as AI continues to evolve. He believes that the ability to connect with others will be a significant differentiator in the workforce.
- Human Connection: He highlights that experiences that require human interaction, such as sports and concerts, will thrive amidst the rise of AI.
- Parenting and Building Resilience
- Avoiding Coddling: Gary discusses the dangers of overprotective parenting, which can lead to children lacking resilience and problem-solving skills. He stresses the importance of allowing children to experience failure to build their confidence.
- Encouragement of Hard Work: He suggests that engaging children in competitive activities is crucial for their development.
- Mindset and Personal Accountability
- Reframing Loss: Gary challenges the notion of being a "loser," positing that everyone has the potential to succeed but may currently be facing losses. He emphasizes that losing can be a valuable learning experience.
- Personal Responsibility: He encourages listeners to take ownership of their circumstances and to strive for personal growth rather than blaming external factors.
- The Role of Community and Support
- Avoiding Negative Influences: Gary talks about the importance of surrounding oneself with positive influences and avoiding toxic relationships that perpetuate a negative mindset.
- Collective Accountability: He discusses how people often enable each other in their struggles and urges individuals to seek out more constructive relationships.
Key Takeaways
- You Are Not a Loser: Feeling like a loser often stems from being in a negative environment; it’s crucial to recognize that you are just in a phase of losing rather than defining yourself by it.
- Strength Through Struggle: Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. Learning from failures is essential for building resilience.
- The Power of Human Skills: As AI technology advances, human skills such as emotional intelligence will become increasingly important in the workplace.
- Parenting with Purpose: Foster resilience in children by allowing them to face challenges and learn from their mistakes.
Questions from the Audience
- Job Interviews: Listeners posed questions about overcoming fear during job interviews, and Gary advised embracing vulnerability and honesty.
- Business Challenges: A listener shared their experience in a seasonal job and sought advice on building confidence in interviews. Gary emphasized the need for a positive mindset.
Conclusion Gary Vaynerchuk's episode encourages listeners to reflect on their environments, embrace their struggles as learning opportunities, and cultivate emotional intelligence in an increasingly AI-driven world. He advocates for both personal and communal accountability, urging individuals to empower themselves and others in their journeys toward success.
--- This summary encapsulates the major themes and insights from the podcast episode, providing a clear guide for readers to understand the key messages from Gary Vaynerchuk's discussion.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Before you go to the podcast, I've got a big announcement. I know several years ago, a lot of you bought 12 books of 12 and a half to get the NFT, the book games NFT. I also know that a lot of people have dropped off on their journey with VFriends, which is a massive mistake. Because what we're doing on Burn Island and what we're doing on base with book games is remarkable. So you need to go to vfriends.com slash old books with an S. You will go to that landing page and we will help you explain if you are trying to figure out where your NFTs are, how to bring them over to the website, and how to start activating them so that you can start using them for all the incredible exchanges and draws and raffles and experiences that we're doing for people that actually own the book games.
0:41So please go to vfriends.com slash old books where you can start your journey on reactivating your book games journey. This is the Gary Vee Audio Experience. Did you not learn from karate kid? He was fucking hurt. He was fucking hurt. and he did the, did it! Did you not learn from the karate kid? He did it! The flag was up. And he had to do the weird thing and do the, did it! I don't give a, you suck. And you've lost every job and nobody likes you and you're 39. You're not even at halftime. You're just losing. You're not a loser. Good morning, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Tea with GaryVee 94.
1:21I'm in a good mood because the Jets did not lose again. That would have been very hard since they didn't play this week. This was their bye week. So two weeks in a row, garyby.com slash whatnot. Okay, let's get into the questions. Mark is asking, I'm looking for a job and I constantly interview. I'm working a seasonal job I hate too. How can I kill the interview and get that job? I think vulnerability, honesty, conviction, passion, these are words to lean in on. I think if you go into the interview being scared that you're not going to get it, you've already lost it. I think honesty matters. Tell them where you're at.
1:53I think honesty allows for comfort. like this is what I'm good at, this is what I'm not good at. You know, I think fear kills people. I think about somebody who recently worked here, not for a very long time, fear ate that person up. And there was no reason. We had nothing but deep hope to make it epic. But the fear ate them up for no reason. And so fear is a fucking scary thing. And people would prefer to like be in their little bubble of delusion with their fear because it allows them to not address the truth. People love to be with themselves and fucking stew on shit and then grab a couple of family members or friends to like enable them.
2:37We love coming, we love being three musketeers of bullshit. Like I'm full of shit. Let me grab two fucking other losers that are my friends or my family that loves me but they're doing losing behavior because they're enabling me and we're just gonna roll around and blame everyone. but ourselves for no reason. And I know who's in the worst spot because this place I'm trying to really help and fix. And if you can't win here, well then when you lose here, and many lose here, you need to really go back to the Batcave and make a new fucking potion. Because if you lose here at a place where someone's really willing to lose money to help,
3:22Fear has completely won you over. And by the way, that's why politicians and parents, school chancellors and bosses weaponize fear. It's the ultimate weapon. Not love is, optimism. Ayo! That's, oh, the oh, in A-O-O, in accountability and optimism, the oh is the optimism, hope, love is the ultimate weapon. but fear is the ultimate weapon of choice of fuck faces because it controls people.
4:00I just want everyone to hear this. You are never tricking winning people and you are always tricking losing people. So when you're in your bullshit and you know your bullshit and here's my thing, don't hate yourself for being that way. Love yourself out of it. that's the circle that everyone gets fucked up because I'm pointing, you know, I'm triggering people right now with the way I'm talking. I'm poking, right? I'm like, here's your zit, here's your zit, here's your zit. And what's happening is some people know I'm fucking right. And then they go into like this bad place I don't want them to, which is like, yeah, fuck, man, I'm a piece of shit.
4:38You're not, you're hurt. You're actually wonderful. I need to get you the fuck out. First, I got to poke to tell you like, Like, you're Fugazi. People think they're clever when they're in this world. They think they're tricking someone because their mommy's coddling them. You're right, Sally. Johnny is a dick. And their best friend who's also in their fucking mud. You're right, Sarah. Johnny's a dick. But that's just a fucking circle jerk of negativity bullshit. And so here I come along and I'm poking because I want to get you the fuck out. But when I poke, sometimes people go into like, he's right and fuck, I'm the worst.
5:17You're not the worst. You're in a circumstance that you need to get out of. You're not the worst. You're just as good as me or anybody else. You're just as good as everyone. You're just hurting right now. And you don't realize that you're hanging with the same people, listening to the same shit. And we've had the rise in the last decade of the fear weaponizers. and they're very effective because so many people lack self-esteem because we gave eighth place trophies. Mommy and daddy coddled everything. Everybody's a puss. Bunch of pusses.
6:02People stopped fighting. People stopped punishing. People stopped grounding. Parents stopped smacking. There were no ramifications, no consequences and now everyone's about to, the problem is life has the ultimate consequences. If you're a puss and you're 22, let's use a guy right now, you're a man. You go out into the world and you're 22 and mommy and daddy took care of everything, life's gonna fuck you up and then you're gonna blame life. Instead of blaming yourself because you're the one that took mommy and daddy's fucking coddling. There's 16 year olds right now, I get the DMs who are telling mommy and daddy, go fuck yourself, stop coddling me.
6:43I'm off the payroll. Proud of you. Big shout out to all of you. This is a new thing. This is where Gen Alpha's getting to learn. Big shout out to all the 16, 17-year-olds that have been hitting me up lately. There's a new wave. New wave of DMs. New wave of feedback. Had a kid stop me actually when I was with Xander, which I don't love, but said, I got off the fucking payroll. 17 years old. Was at the card store. Learned how to flip. Got off the payroll. That fucking kid, if he didn't get off the payroll, would have been the cliche 25-year-old who's depressed. You're depressed because you're not capable.
7:17You're not capable because mommy and daddy took care of everything. That's why kids have to play sports. You gotta lose. If your kid does not wanna play board games, who's got a kid under 12 who avoids board games? Put the number 12 in the chat because I'm telling you right now, you need to break it. I had one of those and I broke it. who's got someone under 12 who avoids games who avoids games they avoid it because they don't want to lose first tell that they're insecure for everybody putting 12 in you have an insecure child i did broke it
7:59avoidance avoidance avoidance avoidance. And if you have a kid who cries when they lose and then wants to play again, you have a winner on your hands. Stop changing that. Who has a kid who cries or gets super upset and then wants to play again? Play again, play again. Who's got one of those?
8:24Now let's be really honest. Who here, maybe five or six, seven years ago when this wasn't obvious as much in culture, tried to get their kids to realize it's just a game and now realizes, wait a minute, let me flip it up. Put fixed it. Put fixed it if you were in the camp seven years ago saying it's just a game, but now you're all about letting it go. Look at this. This is why society matters. Look at all these fixes in the chat. That's huge. Those are all parents. This is why we have so many people hurting right now at 20. We had a whole generation of parents who told kids that wanted to fucking win and believed in, stick with me here, merit and truth.
9:03These are six-year-olds that believed in merit and truth and had competitive spirit and were built for the actual world. And we had parents being like, nah. You know what that fucks up a six-year-old? Because your parents. All these people have fixed it now. That means we're...
9:26For a lot of you, you're 23, 24, 25. you have to fix it for yourself. You're not a loser, you're currently losing. There's not one loser on earth. There's just people who are currently losing because they want to be happier.
9:47You like that? That was good, right? That was good? Give me something. It's true, nobody's a loser. Did anybody watch the Bengals and the Bears game yesterday? That shit was crazy. I'm losing the Bears. The Bengals were fucking losers. Them that are winning and the Bears had the worst loss of the year. That may come back. That's life. There is not one. I'm going to make this statement for 8.3 billion people. There is not one loser on earth. There's just people that are currently losing. And now let me break your fucking brain. Losing is fun. Especially when the game's not over. because then you get the fucking joy of getting out of the loss.
10:30You know what the best win is? What the Bears did yesterday, not just like cruising and making it easy. You know what's a great win in my favorite sport, fighting, is when you lose every, Leon, I mean, I hate this because I like fucking, Usman is one of my favorite, favorite, favorite fighters of all time. I think he's one of the great fighters ever. But Leon Edwards' win is the most joyful. He got his ass beat for four and a half rounds. And he fucking found that leg late. The Karate Kid. Did you not learn from fucking Karate Kid when he did the fucking, like he was fucking hurt. He was fucking hurt and he did the, fucking, he fucking did it.
11:10Did you not learn from the Karate Kid? He fucking did it. The fucking leg was fucked up. Danny's leg was fucked up. And he had to do the weird thing and do the, he fucking did it. He fucking did it. I don't give a fuck that you suck and you've lost every job and nobody likes you and you're 39. You're not even at halftime. You're just losing. You're not a loser. Fucking did it, right? You were fucking pumped too. I fucking brought out fucking Miyagi.
11:44Did you not fucking learn from Karate Kid? Wax on, wax off, motherfuckers. Let's keep it moving. Gecko is asking, my husband and I are 43 and 44 with a large blended family of six kids. Two years ago, we started an auto glass repair business in a small town in Texas. We have good weeks and bad weeks. We've made it through every month, but it's been very tight. My husband feels like he needs to just go back to work, but he's put in blood, sweat and tears. So I'm trying to encourage him to push through since we are just starting to actually grow. What are your thoughts? Facebook ads. I mean, you know this better than anybody, Pablo.
12:19you've been on my team now for a little while and you know how effective localized ads are. They need to run 150 bucks, right? On a 25, 35, 40 mile radius, because if they're, you know, the more you want it, the wider you want the radius to be because the more you're willing to drive and fucking do it. Again, they might want to do a hundred mile radius. It'll take a job two hours away, right? So my answer is Facebook ads, you know? you know I think it will work um that's my belief for that business I think that one of the great things one can do in a localized business is recognize how effective those ads are for such little money and that may give them the spike of extra dollars that they'll see that will make him and feel more secure in it.
13:10Or he can go back and go full time job and run ads for it to just do it on the weekends and see if that creates the demand and maybe he does that on the weekends and maybe over time he realizes those ads are working and maybe he goes back to the gig. There's nothing wrong with trying to go all in on something. it doesn't take going back to a job turning that all-in jump into a side hustle while you go back to a full-time job and maybe that will build back up and can become a full-time job and so I think for a business that is very localized I'm a very big fan of trying to attack the Facebook ad ecosystem because it works for localized businesses I just know it does.
14:05Let's keep going. Jose, how are you, my friend? Doing good, Gary. I just want to say thank you. Thank you for always dropping knowledge and being there for me as a 42-year-old content creator who's also still maintaining the corporate life. I just want to say I appreciate everything. So in a world of AI, we keep talking about AI, AI, AI, but people aren't talking about EI and me as a relationship manager. How important should I really double down on communication and emotional intelligence as people continue to kind of get away with that? Yeah, look, I don't think people are getting away from it at all.
14:36In fact, I think the big winner from the AI era in a decade are going to be the people that understand the value of emotional intelligence and how to interact with people and where humanity comes in. I think a lot of people are going to gravitate towards more real things. This morning, I put out a post. I continue to believe that experiential businesses are going to grow. I think concerts and rock climbing company and in sports and all these things that require us to be out in the world are going to continue to grow. There's a lot of people who are going to try to build AI apps because they want to be an entrepreneur where what they should really be building is New York City tour, you know, companies like I just think a lot more in that.
15:25And I think, as we get into a workforce where mundane skills become less effective, I think, and valuable, because they are being replaced by AI. I think what employers and companies and humans are going to be looking for is good leadership, good management. And, you know, I think it's a game of both. You know, I don't think you can just go into this nirvana utopia idea of like, I'm just gonna be a nice guy. And I'm gonna make million dollars a year because I'm nice. And I care about people. I don't think that's what I'm actually saying. What I'm saying is someone who has a grasp of what the AI tools are.
16:05And as a manager of people that use AI tools within an organization, and as the human that is creating good culture, and emotional intelligence, and as a manager has HR like tendencies, I think is going to have a real era here in front of them. And so, you know, I think a lot of people are talking about emotional intelligence and leadership as a growing value because there's going to be a lot of people managing a lot of people that are managing a lot of AI bots. Again, big companies are going to have 35 people using AI with the power of 400 people, right, that are going to need managers to keep that effectiveness and culture going.
16:51We're still humans. So that's what I think, brother. Good luck. Pleasure. Appreciate you. Appreciate you. This is the Notorious Ninja signed, hacked, comic number seven, the origin story and the first appearance of the Notorious Ninja. If you don't know what VFriends is, you are breaking my little heart. My tiny, tiny little heart is broken. This is my Pokemon. This is my dialed in dog hat that is not released yet. that I'm very excited about. And it's a universe of 250 characters. Think of it as Pokemon meets Marvel meets Sesame Street. I am building one of the most important collectible intellectual property companies of this generation is my hope and my dream and the efforts I'm putting in.
17:34So please go to vfriends.com and check it out. And this is being given away for free on WhatNot right now. Please enter the top right corner. All you have to do is click the button for everybody who's on Instagram YouTube, everywhere else, come over to GaryVee.com slash whatnot. Sid wants to get in there. Why do people value 50 no's so much, but not 50 views? That's a great question. I think people value 50 no's versus 50 views for a very specific reason, which has become weirdly my life's work. I think that people are wildly insecure. And so when they get 50 views, they think that's a failure because other people get millions of views.
18:13and I always say this, like I wish they could see 50 people in a room to see how powerful getting 50 views is. I think the reason that they get so fucked up by both 50 views and 50 no's is they take them both as negatives. So I think they view both those things as negative. For me and for others, I think that there's just an incredible thirst to persevere through adversity. I think some of us, me included and others that I've seen, had the fortune of struggling early on, and it didn't break them. Some people struggle early on and it breaks them and they become cynical and mad at the world. Other people have struggles and it becomes a motivation.
18:51The people that have struggles oftentimes have unconditional love in their family that allows them to believe. So for me, I'm incredibly fortunate that even though I had plenty of struggles in my youth, I had incredible love for my mother, which made me be able to persevere. Other people that have struggles may not be as fortunate to have a mother or father that are giving them that love and then they're in search of that and it compounds their insecurity. And so much happens in your childhood. But again, we can't weaponize our childhoods. You know, there's plenty of things that happen in my, as incredible as my mother and father are, there are things that they did that in hindsight put me in a vulnerable spot that I wasn't able to see.
19:31And instead of blaming them, I've used my adulthood to work on it. I think that this becomes a big obsession of mine. And you know this, I bring this up often, which is at what age, as a matter of fact, everybody in whatnot, please give me the number here. At what age do you believe it is time to no longer blame your parents and your circumstance and to, as the kids say, adult up and start saying, okay, mom and dad fucked this up, life fucked this up, but I am strong enough to address this. And now I have to start working on it instead of pointing fingers, I can go thumbs and I can start going.
20:08And so we're seeing a lot of answers, right? In the chat right now. And, you know, a lot of people are hovering between 18 and 25. You know, some people are saying 30, somebody said 40, which I think is a ranch. But, you know, you know, a lot of people are saying these numbers, but they're not living it. Watch this. We're gonna have a very vulnerable moment right now. A lot of you just put a number in. How many of you put in a number yet you have passed that number and you continue to blame mommy daddy the government the mayor the governor the president the system like own it own it say me say capital me right and so you know look a lot of people are going to say me like there's a lot of people being honest here which i fucking i adore you all and that's what these mornings are about all together to like start getting into that place, right?
21:00And like, for everyone who says me, you know, this is the moment, maybe this is the team with Gary V, where do you realize I'm done blaming my boss, my mom, the system, you know, America, Canada, India, like everyone here is capable. Everyone's capable of cutting negativity out of their lives, even if it's hard, like your mom, your dad, your spouse, you're allowed to get divorced, you're allowed to limit your interaction with your, you know, your life. This guy says, someone said, my cheating wife. Yet you're allowed to forgive your cheating wife for her sins in your mind and move on. You're allowed.
21:35Or you could be one of those people that sits and rolls in that mud for the rest of their life. You could be mad that the opportunities aren't there for you in India. Or you could spend 100 % of your time trying to get working visas and other places where you think there's more opportunities. You're just allowed in life. You're just allowed. This is life. This is life. You're just allowed. You're allowed to dwell and you're allowed to attack. You're allowed to cry and you're allowed to wipe off your tears and go at it. I will say this, people in worse mental, physical, and emotional situations than you have been able to persevere and get out.
22:18You know? And so, and you got to try different things. Like whatever's a lot of people that are stuck, aren't trying different things. They keep going to the same well, whether it's one person in their family that allows them to complain, same kind of therapist, same kind of content, same kind of like, we need to change our shit if you're not happy. I think they value both 50 no's and 50 views by not valuing them. They don't value them. I value no's, their feedback, their motivation, and their information. I value 50 views because I think 50 is incredible. Like I've had a lot of people say, Gary, why are you doing it on one night?
22:58You only have 443 people watching right now. As we know on TikTok, I have 60. I don't know, because I've never been in a place where no matter where I'm at, I'm not insecure. I love when people are like, oh, Gary Vee, you've fallen off. You only got like a thousand likes on this post. I'm like, what are you talking, like, I don't understand. You know, I do not, if I didn't give a fuck of people making fun of me in middle school, you think I'm gonna fucking give a fuck of anyone here trolling? I've only had sympathy for you. I only have compassion for your anger towards me. I only have sympathy.
23:40I am not affected by your tough guy words on Twitter. I'll fucking beat your ass, do you understand? Like, do you think you could beat me? I am an emotional fucking savant. I will blow you out the water. I'm not scared of you. I'll roll up on you, say three things, and you will crumble like a bitch because you are insecure, tough guy, gal. The easiest person to punk is a keyboard warrior. They're soft as shit. But I'm not gonna hurt you back. I feel bad for you. I love you. I want for you.
24:19But if you feel like you're getting off or like fucking trying to tear somebody down, me or anybody else, like I don't know what to tell you, but real winners see you for the losing situation you're in. I see you. I see you for all your weakness.
24:43I care for you man, I want you out. These people got you twisted out there. I see you, you're losing. And I'm here to take your anger because you can't penetrate me. And I'll take it and I know other people will take it and I hope you can get your poison out by trying to punch me. but your punches aren't landing and you need to know that and your punches aren't landing on anybody else who's winning inside. Punches are only landing on other hurt people and that's a rolling in the mud that you need to get the fuck out of.
25:23This is the Notorious Ninja signed hack comic number seven the origin story and the first appearance of the Notorious Ninja If you don't know what VFriends is, you are breaking my little heart. My tiny, tiny little heart is broken. This is my Pokemon. This is my dialed in dog hat that is not released yet that I'm very excited about. And it's a universe of 250 characters. Think of it as Pokemon meets Marvel meets Sesame Street. I am building one of the most important electable intellectual property companies of this generation is my hope and my dream and the efforts I'm putting in. So please go to vfriends.com and check it out.
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26:05And this is being given away for free on WhatNot right now. Kylie's asking, I started a business with my fiance. He's great at talking about what we should do, but I'm usually the one executing. He works, but it's hard to get him to take the business seriously. How do I get him to be disciplined and consistent? This is a tough question. This happens a lot with partners. People have very different working styles. it gets much harder in family businesses. You're in like, kind of like pseudo family and fiance land, right? You're kind of like half pregnant family when you're engaged. And so this makes it even harder.
26:44One thing that I'm a very big fan of as a leader, and I think she's leading in this situation, is realizing it's very hard to change people. But what I try to focus on is how to put people in positions to succeed based on who they actually are. What you need to be careful about in that scenario is putting too much on yourself and creating resentment. This is a formula for breakup, both in business and in your relationship. So I tread here lightly. This is like a real combo. There's just a lot of talkers out there. The world is filled with talkers who complain and envy and deploy jealousy and hate towards doers.
27:29I ask a lot of you to use this morning's show to figure out where you sit on the talking and doing spectrum. Listen, I do a lot of talking. I don't think talking is bad. I think talking without doing is bad. Muhammad Ali did a lot of talking and then he did it in the ring. He's the greatest. A lot of people have done a lot of talking and then have gone out and done it. I think this is a tough conversation, but I think she needs to be honest with him. I think candor is the actual answer to this question. I think she needs to explain what her point of view is on this. Now, a lot of talkers often are incredibly insecure.
28:12Most people don't do things in life because they're insecure. they fear and I talk about this all the time you all know where I'm about to go they fear losing in front of others so if she addresses him and brings up that like hey man I love like your energy for it the ambition for it but I end up doing all this stuff he may get triggered by that you know insecure people when called out narcissistic people when called out really hate that shit baby doesn't like to be put into the corner when they're trying to peacock A lot of talkers use the talking as a disguise, as a front. Ego is defined in my mind, at least one man's point of view, as insecurity with makeup on, you know, and so with a Halloween costume on.
29:02So I'm concerned about how he'll receive her feedback if she goes candorous on this. I'm a big fan of couples therapy. I think, you know, as I'm now what, 11 days away from being 50, I'm a big fan of people who can afford therapy to use it. Even when they don't seem like there's something wrong in the relationship, I think sometimes it's offense versus defense. I think people wait too long for it. Good maintenance, like going to the gym. By the way, I've figured out that my outer left glute is incredibly weak and tight in the last week. and it's really helping me. I'm like loosening up my back through my heavy stretching.
29:42So they're like this morning, 45 minutes of like heavy stretching, especially on my left, like my outer left glute, whatever that's called. And that's kind of how I think about therapy and like meditation. It's how I think about this show. You know, one of my great ambitions for Tea with Gary V is doing this early in the morning and maybe getting people's mind right around, A-O. That's what we do here, Ezra. We're very big on who knows what A-O is, who's new and has no idea what just happened, and who's an OG already from last week when I retired and unretired. A lot happened last week. Honestly, that might be it.
30:20I'm retiring. It's a wrap. I'm upset. I'm not sure if I should ever make another piece of content in my life. It's sad, man. This is it. I think it's over. Like all of it. Sorry, bye, Instagram. I'm done. No, no, I'm done. I'm retired. I'm out. I'm retired. I do not do content anymore. A lot happened. Oh, big winner, Haggard 76. You just won$100. Literally, if you don't give a shit about this, get this in the mail and post it on eBay. Thousands do and they will buy it. I like this little giveaway. I know a lot of you want to buy. You know, I talk a lot about live social shopping. Here we are on Whatnot.
30:54Let me show you how it's done. We're going to literally post this. This comic is$35 a pack. You can actually get a rare cover. You can see these rare covers in the back, the rarity guide. you might be able to get the one of one lollipop that is probably worth thousands of dollars. So if you want one of these packs to open, here's what happens. Let's see what I got here. Ooh, I got a David Mack all cover. So I got a good one here. I didn't get the common one. I got a, if you're a comic book nerd, you know who David Mack is. Pretty excited about this. Really epic comic. Origin story of the Notorious Ninja, a really good story.
31:27Ezra, let's put up 30 packs for 35 bucks a piece. If you've never bought anything ever in your life on whatnot, you can actually get this for 20 bucks,$15 off by putting VF15 in your shopping cart or hitting this little yellow. Court, where is it? Come on. No raise? Mm-hmm. This little Post-it note? Click this little Post-it note. Thank you, Court. Click this little Post-it note and click the VF15 white button in there. That will put the code in automatically for you. Actually, I'm gonna sign this one too. next giveaway as well Ezra. Let's get another giveaway. This one's actually on the cover.
32:04Little Gary Vee sign. Free stuff here. Everybody who is on social media go to garyvee.com slash whatnot. W-H-A-T-N-O-T. Everybody come over to garyvee.com slash whatnot. If you're on Instagram, YouTube, I see you. All of you get over here. All of you get over here. Holmes pun quest goes. Therapy is way overrated. Talk with your grandpa. Disagree. But this is what's amazing about the world. everybody can have different opinions. Maybe for example, Home Spun's Quest went to therapy and had a bad therapist. That happens. What do you think? All therapists are good? I think a lot of therapists are full of shit and aren't trying to get to the solve.
32:41They're just trying to keep you on the payroll. Like there's a lot of things out there, but nothing is absolute. But the concept of getting your poison out, one of the great things that is fucking up every one of you. By the way, I don't give a fuck if you go to a therapist. Go to the fucking woods. Literally go to the woods this weekend. Go to the woods in the middle of nowhere and just scream out your poison. What I promise you is globally historically true is the number one thing that's fucking all of you up is you're keeping poison inside of you. And most of your buckets are small. I always used to yell at my dad.
33:16I was like, dad, your bucket to like getting upset is like filling up this little cup and mine and mom's is like the ocean. And I used to think that's a strength, but I would argue that just because me and my mom have the ocean to take the resentment and the anger from everyone, eventually that pulls over. And which one's better? Neither. Get your fucking poison out. Get your fucking poison out. Get your fucking poison out. Everybody who wants to learn what social shopping is, literally click that little button at the bottom if you want to start your journey. A great comic to read to your kids this weekend.
33:50Just click it right down below. You just hit buy. It's literally Apple Pay. Boom, boom, as they say. Somewhere in the world. All right, let's keep it going. ragap what's good hi gary i don't know if you remember me but i'm gonna give you a second to recognize me you have seen me twice remind me brother i apologize it's from week on one week i was there in minneapolis i'm glad it's great to see you again brother yeah and i wanted to ask you so uh we were in canada at that time but now i've moved back to india with my family i wanted to i I know I can crush it in like what not live shopping, but I don't know how to get in because India is not in yet.
34:29So how can I take advantage of that? Because India is not in as. Well, you can't be in something if it's not there yet. Yeah. Right? Like if I was like sitting here in America, I was like, I know that I can be remarkable at cricket, but nobody in America plays cricket and cricket was banned in America for some weird reason. well then I would have to move to Pakistan or India to play cricket or Australia or England you know I understand you think you could crush live shopping but if the live shopping function is not available yet in India well then what are we talking about so you have two options you can continue to get educated and be prepared for when it is or or you can move again yeah and And there was one more thing.
35:16So I have been selling on Amazon and online marketplaces since I was 16. I was working in Walmart, doing all of the stuff with high school. And when I left my job, I was working full time for Amazon. And now with the - One second, Raghav. Raghav, one second. Somebody in the chat saying, Kiko and Amazon Live both work in India. I don't know about Amazon Live. I only know about TikTok shop and whatnot. They both don't. That's fine. But this is what you could have done, Raghav. Yes, I know you're about to watch me do it, but you're gonna have to eat it. Hey, chat, is live social shopping available in India?
35:52I know that TikTok is banned in India and I don't think Whatnot's there, but I could be wrong. Which three or four apps right now are doing live social shopping the way Whatnot and TikTok Shop are doing in the US and obviously how China is a half a trillion dollar economy? Is there any app that's leading right now in live shopping in India? Maybe eBay Live, I've seen them starting to get going. But can you give me the top three, please? You have to understand, if there is an actual answer to this right now, I'm coming to India to punch you in the neck. You know that, right? I'm coming to India.
36:27Amazon Live works. Flipkart works. Misha. Fucking Misha. Why are you not on the Misha? Yeah. Yeah, that's for India. What the fuck are you coming on my show saying it's not there yet? When you fucking, yeah, you know Misha. But I was more focusing on US side. I have only like sold in Canada and US. I was looking at the exports. But you're in India. Yeah. Okay, so I look into that. The Amazon and Misho live shopping. Yes, because you're in India. Yeah. And I just have one more question. Are you going to be doing another VCon anytime soon or in a couple of years? Yes, but I'm not doing one until I see you on Misho.
37:13When I'm on Amazon live and we show. Please. Yeah. And do never call into another show where the answer could be done in one second. Yeah. Raghav. I love you. But I hate you. Another thing was, I just wanted to talk to you in person. So that was. That's fine. That I respect. That I respect. That's, that's a fair. But that's good. But don't come and embarrass yourself. This is forever on the internet. Your kids one day are going to be like, daddy. why didn't you go on team with Gary B and ask such a stupid question? No, no, I'm totally fine with that. I'm not embarrassed. I've just started making content on social media, so I'm not embarrassed at all.
37:53I have left all of that. Well, now, Raghav, you redeemed yourself, and I love you. Now I'm not going to punch you in the neck. Now I'm going to kiss you in the neck. Thank you so much. What do you mean punch and kiss? All right, brother, we'll see you later. All right, let's keep it moving. Thank you, bye. Ray is asking, my young daughter struggles in school, even though I tell her that grades don't define her. The school system pushes these kids to know what they want to be and have good grades, making her feel like a failure. I've shown her some of your clips, but can you give her some specific words of wisdom?
38:20Right. Listen, to your daughter, she's not going to just believe her dad after a couple of times. This is a constant flow. You can send her my clips. Look, either she wants to be common sense oriented. I don't know how old she is when you're seven, when you're 10, when you're 12. it's harder to believe that you could be successful without getting good grades. When you're 15, 17, 19, it becomes more clear. What is success? I think needs to have a real conversation. I actually think one of the worst things that's going in society right now is followers, money, clout, stuff is the definition in a way that we've never had.
39:00We've become dramatically over materialistic. It's nice and fine and you're allowed to have certain things and want certain things. And if you love fast cars or collectibles, you're allowed. But I really struggle with first defining success. I think success is really defined by, did you wake up this morning? Actually, let's do this. And honestly, no bullshitting in the chat. And everybody from social media, you need to come to garyvee.com slash whatnot, W-H-A-T-N-O-T to answer this question because the answers are officially only real on whatnot. So for 400 of you this morning, if I said from zero to 10, 10 being you felt no anxiety in your chest, you woke up this morning and you're like, thank you fucking God for another day, another day where nobody called me with an emergency last night because someone in my family died or had a tragedy.
39:56Today's gonna be awesome. That's a 10. Zero is I don't even wanna live tomorrow much more. I'm like very unhappy. Everything's fucked. Where are you from one to 10, zero to 10? Give me your numbers. And so like I'm looking at these numbers, right? A lot of good numbers here and it makes sense that a lot of people in those four and five, three is a tough number. You know, I just saw a three, which is not super fun for me. Everybody answering on social, your answers are not official. GaryVee.com slash whatnot, W-H-A-T-N-O-T. Come over here right now. come and hang. I think success is waking up with something between a seven and 10 this morning to that question.
40:40But you need to pound, brother. You need to talk about it every day, not once in a while. And eventually you will break through. My daughter's 16 right now. And I've definitely seen a shift in how she sees the world in the last year. And I think a lot of people will go through that as parents there's some and we're all we've all gone from 12 to 16 to 22 i think those 10 years are insane think about yourself at 12 think 16 think 22 that's a lot of growing up in a 10 year window you might be frustrated right now because she doesn't see it right now but you know give it some time give it some time and make sure that she's defining success with happiness not stuff optic b easy with the big win on this congratulations next i want to give these away So, all right, we're gonna give one of these away.
41:30The minis, this I'm really into. These are one of my favorite products. This is a toy that you put on your desk when you're at work. So this is the, perfect. This is the Gratitude Gorilla. I genuinely believe if some of you put this on your desk in the morning when you come into work and you look at the Gratitude Gorilla, it might just remind you to be fucking grateful for what you have. Yes, your boss might be a dick, but you have the best husband in the world. What do you wanna focus on? I believe most people focus on boss's dick, right? I believe more people should focus on husband is the best.
42:04I've always in times of anxiety or issues or challenges, before you buy this, it's$15 for a box. Before you buy this, who here has never bought anything? Who here has never bought anything on whatnot? Say never bought because you can get this for free. You can literally get this for free. You can literally hit this little white post-it note right here everyone who just said never bought literally hit this little yellow post-it note this little yellow post-it note oh I'm above it a little high there we go click this little yellow post-it note and hit the VF15 button in the notes and you click that or put VF15 in the shopping cart everyone all 48 of these should be gone in seconds because I saw more than 48 of you have never bought you'll literally get this for fucking free click down there hit VF 15 and literally check out free and enjoy it your befriend's journey has begun anyway I think more people he needs to define success as happiness and lack of anxiety and joy and then he needs to continue to pound her that grades have no impact on that straight A students are not universally happy straight A students are not universally rich I don't know how we have not had this conversation it's period end of story it's truth let's keep it going Chris I lost my wife five years ago this month to COVID and I made sure to focus thank you sir I'm a big fan of yours I've been watching you since you were on that app show and on the Apple channel like for Apple TV when you went into the apps thank you Chris hell yeah um but I just want to say that I think um I got my boys graduated I got them situated and now it's my turn and so I decided what the hell I decided to jump into this whatnot stuff I'm going to start my own show uh coming up this week because of you and all the things you've said.
43:57But I just want to know, like, I also had some Michael Jordan Gatorade cards that I won from Gatorade several years ago. And I thought maybe I could trade them for just 15 minutes. I could come to New York and hang with you for like 15 minutes. I don't know. They're very rare. I thought I'd throw that out there, shoot my shot. But anyway, I just want to throw that out there. What do you suggest? Just your energy. I don't need your Jordan Gatorade cards, though. If they're star cards, I need to see them because you need to get them graded. Okay. But I will give you 15 minutes in New York. The team will set it up for you in Q1 of 2026 just because I love the energy you're bringing here, and I want to give that to you.
44:33Dude. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. Oh, I would love that. Yes. So I've been a teacher all my life. Good for you. Yeah. So I do that and enjoy that. But back in the day, I used to do some goofy things, like, on whatnot. So, like, we had, like, a live cable access. Oh, I'm breaking down the goofy things for Chris. I need to know what goofy things you did. This is getting good now. Yeah, goofy things. I used to sell from 10 p.m. to 3 a.m. on a cable access channel crap in a box. You need to be on WhatNot yesterday. Don't sell crap this time. Sell something you believe in. You're right. Absolutely.
45:12Don't sell crap. That's right. Yeah, but it was so much fun. It was back in the day. I've tried a little bit of everything. And I think basically what I was going to say is the other things that I've learned is I've always wanted to be like a motivational speaker talking about strength, especially after these last five years and what that looks like. And you talk about a lot about being humble, a lot about just the strength and fighting through. And what you just said is so important for people to listen to. When you live through an experience like I have and you understand that you're not losing, you're just learning about life and you're continuing on.
45:45it's a hard thing to keep a smile on your face and laugh about things right but man shit it is incredible once you come out on the other side and i appreciate you because i listen to you almost daily and absorb all your content so anyway i just wanted to say thanks for that chris you know you're such a inspiration you went through one of the more challenging things that someone can go through right losing a spouse yeah at a young age did you have children sir yeah uh yeah two boys um it was 40 uh let's see i was what 45 she died six days before her birthday which would have made her 46 yeah and so uh boys how old were the boys how old were the boys when your wife passed middle school and high school they were uh 13 and 16 so um you know i think when you battle those things you know and it's it's funny because you know the balance between a mom and a dad and uh and how that works you're very familiar with that with your wonderful family that you've been a part of um and just kind of working through that experience and what that looks like it's tough because you still play that role of the dad but then also um you know how do you how do you make up that kind of that role for the mom too and i think a lot of what you said too my boys always talked about well you know we're just we're just trying to we've lost we've done this we've done this i said yes but you know what there's another reason behind all of this and we got to keep fighting through it, you know?
47:11And I think that's, and I never let my boys understand, um, they always lost like in sports and things, like you said, like, you know, it's always that feeling. Um, and yeah, and just grow from that experience, you know, and what does that look like, you know, and then how can they turn that into their motivation to continue and be strong, you know? You know, both my parents lost a parent, um, very young. My mom lost her mom at five and my dad lost his dad at 15. And I've talked about openly about how fearing the death of my parents was the backdrop of my life. You know, like the theme of my life, you know?
47:52And I think a lot of my gratitude comes from the fact that I went through my youth where that very challenging thing did not happen. And I think it's just so wonderful that you were on this show, Chris, because I believe that there's a lot of people, this is what's happened in our society, unfortunately. There's a lot of people in the chat right now that are struggling with very lightweight things. They're struggling with, they don't have extra income to buy silly stuff. Like literally they're sitting right now watching and their biggest issue that really eats them up is that they don't have extra money to buy a Lexus or a burka bag or go to the Four Seasons in Hawaii, like someone they saw on social or someone in their neighborhood.
48:42And it's eating them up, envy, jealousy around materialistic things. And then a gentleman like you comes on who has gone through a real adversity, losing your wife during COVID and then having to raise your two children by yourself at an incredibly fragile time in their lives. 13 to 16 for boys is a profoundly challenging time. And the fact that you have the strength and the energy that you come on here with and the optimism and the hope and just, you know, what you're doing. You know, I hope wakes somebody, like not only thank God for your boys, they were lucky to have you, right? and I do believe the incredible challenge of losing their mother can become the foundation of their happiness.
49:33I really believe that. I believe adversity is the foundation of success and happiness. But Chris, the reason you need to go on whatnot and get out there is I'm convinced that you just helped someone in this chat. Convinced. Convinced that somebody just got just got shook and said, this fucking dude is coming on with this energy and I'm crying about some dumb ass shit, right? Like people are crying about dumb ass shit and literally just felt what it would feel like right now to lose their spouse and all the pressures of like keeping up the financial impact. There's people, you know, there's people right now that could lose their spouse.
50:18I don't know if your wife worked or not, but some people here are the stay-at-home parent and could lose their spouse, who not only is a spouse and would be their mom or dad to their kids, but also the finance. There's people that literally had to go to work today, literally today, Monday in the world. Somebody had to go to work today on November 3rd, Monday in the world, who'd never worked in their adult life because their spouse took care of the finances, and that spouse passed away last month, a couple of weeks ago. And that person has to go to work. Like people have real adversities out here.
50:56Yeah, no, you're right. I think when people always ask why you don't get stressed, like they say, well, Chris, nothing ever shakes you. I said, yeah, it doesn't shake you when you see your wife hooked to a machine and can't breathe. You know what I mean? Of course. Nothing shakes you. And by the way, Chris, I've never had that happen to me and nothing shakes me because the serendipity of my DNA parenting circumstance. There's people who are unshakable who just have simplicity in their heart. It's simplicity that we need, my friend. I love it. Yes, sir. What the fuck does everybody need? What do you need?
51:33Yeah. You know, people are very confused out here that they think stuff is going to close the gap of their heart. Yeah, it doesn't. I cannot explain to you how many people I've watched get more stuff and get more unhappy. Because here's what happens to people that believe that money and stuff will solve it. They get there and it doesn't and then are completely fucked up.
52:00Yeah, it's been an absolute honor. Do you have a whatnot username yet? Yeah, I think it's just ChrisK54. It's me holding the microphone is the picture. I see it. Everybody, please follow all 400 of you in here. Follow. Everyone's following you right now, Chris. There we go. oh man you man bless you sir bless what you do thank you so much and hey i can't wait to come visit you in 2026 i'm pumped this is awesome what a blessing thank you sir appreciate it bye-bye everybody as we're tuning off here on today's show if it's your first show make sure you go top left corner and follow v friends that's very important to me oh i love micro dramas what's going on in asia with those pieces of content is huge micro drama content in the u.s is going to be a monster.
52:42Anyway, if this was your first show on whatnot, please go to the top left corner and follow everything. And please, it would mean the world to me if you did a little homework on VFriends. If this is your first show ever and you have a kid between three and 12, or you collect, put the number 312. If you have a kid three to 12, or if you're a collector of things and this is your first show, say collect and put dash and tell me what you collect. if you have a kid 3 to 12 you need to watch vfriends.com slash cartoons if you collect and you don't collect VF yet this is your first show ever and you don't collect VFriends yet we're gonna read you right now and you're gonna learn let's do it and everybody on other social medias we'll see you next time thanks everyone big announcement as you probably heard at this point because I had John from Stan on the show I'm an investor advisor to an incredible startup called Stan stan.store I'm sending you right now to garyvee.com, garyvee.com slash stan.
53:40Go check this out. We've done a Gary V. Stan Store challenge, which actually has a weekly call with me. This is built for everyone who's been affected, honestly, by my overall content. The tech stack, all these features, and the minimal costs per month that Stan Store has built is really the tool that was needed for this world that I envisioned when I wrote Crush It, when I wrote Crushing It, and this overall thing I'm thinking a lot about lately which is the individual empire, right? This creator entrepreneur slash entrepreneur creator economy that I think is gonna eat up the oxygen very honestly.
54:16The thing that so many of you want in your life and the reason so many of you are not there yet is you've got the strategy for me. You've got the ambition within yourself but you don't have the tools for you to fully maximize it and I believe you can find that at Stan's store, Stan.store but specifically I want you to sign up for it through my challenge because I want to get access with you and plus there's a bunch of cool things. So if you want to go see those cool things, go to garyvee.com slash stan, S-T-A-N.
From the publisher
Today’s episode is Tea with GaryVee 94, where I talk about fear, insecurity, and why so many people think they’re “losing” when they’re really just stuck in the wrong environment. I also share my two cents on AI and why emotional intelligence, accountability, and real human skills matter more than ever. And we get into parenting without coddling, building confidence by doing hard things, and the truth about trolls, haters, and comparison culture.