Fergie Would've DESTROYED Cherki! Paul's FIGHT With Xabi Alonso & Enzo Fernandez Could RUIN Chelsea!

23:54Nicky:So he's competing at the highest level at 18, 19. He played for the United running up until that, performing really well to get in the England team in the start of it. And all of a sudden, new manager comes to Manchester United doesn't fancy him, he doesn't play. And again, we're going back to what we said a second ago, if you don't get runs of games, especially as a midfielder, because you have got to be all around the pitch. If you're not at your peak fitness, and you only get that you can run as much as you want in training box to boxes fitness runs whatever you want match fitness is totally different if you don't get 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 games on a bounce you're struggling sometimes managers just don't fancy players Amarin clearly didn't fancy him Thomas Tuchel clearly doesn't fancy him now Michael does why take it World Cup then?

24:41it's just bonkers it is bonkers probably because you've got a squad of 26 players so you can take him really can't you

24:48Nicky:and his quality and he'd have seen what he'd done in the championships and he'd have seen what he'd done previous to Amarin at United so he's going to think well he's watched training and England didn't play that well in the World Cup and that would be your biggest concern England aren't playing well in the World Cup and he's there thinking I can't see him ever causing a problem I can't see him ever throwing a towel in and training or anything but there's something that he doesn't like about him and there's something Amarin doesn't like about him can we talk about this Harry Maguire goal and you were talking about the rules now and 10 seconds to come on and off and the rules for throw-ins and everything so it's handball although again no skin in the game watching it it looked to me like you were trying to pull his arms in a bit you've got loads of skin in the game you hate Man United you keep saying that I don't hate anyone I'm a very loving person Bolton and Fulham I'm a very loving person.

25:45Bolton fans are at Manningham. They do, don't they? Yeah, they are at Manningham. Go on. I'm a nice guy. I love all football teams. We're not doubting that. I love all football teams, but I'm just saying, watching it, no, I'm saying... Oh, it was on ball. No, it was on ball, but what I'm saying is, it weren't like that. No, but it was on ball, it doesn't matter. No, it was on ball, that's the point. What happened after it? This is what I'm saying. That rule, it was news to me.

26:12Nicky:That's like saying I can two-foot him in the head. Which you've done a few times. Yeah, but I could two-foot him in the head, but as long as he hits the ball against someone else who goes in it, I don't get fouled. Yeah, so they're saying if he's hit the ball and it's gone in, it's on ball. If he hits the ball and it's deflected off someone, it's not on ball. No, if he hits the ball and it's on target, it's no goal. Yeah. Because he had a shot and it went off target. so I said to them this is stupid and it will never happen so what if Adam Maguire handballs the ball in his own box then kicks the ball out of play can you just say I was having a shot so it's not a ball it is there is a point do you want to know something though seriously I don't know what you mean no but it sounded right if you're a referee imagine all the rules you've got in your head it's just impossible do you know Gary O 'Neill was good about it wasn't he he really understood that's the real to that I didn't know it but that's it it was do you know it's funny when you say about the referee I watched that game and I did think I bet that referee is also looking at the clock going please hurry up because after things like that you've got to be mentally just drained haven't you they just make it hard for themselves it's like they sit there on a referee debate or get together or training camps whatever you call it and they go how professional they're full time but how can we really pissed the fans off.

27:40Nicky:Yeah. What rule can we put in today to piss the fans off? Where does that rule come from? It's ridiculous. It's either a handball or it's not a handball. And is that rule do these rules get sent to you first before the season? You get sat down with the referees. They'll get a sense of the secretary they'll get a sense of the club secretary and they'll go to the manager and we used to have a referee come in and do all the new stuff. There's always something new like tackles from behind but who thinks of that rule? Why does it matter what happens after the shot. And ball, or it isn't. Yeah. It's on ball, stop the play.

28:12Yeah. I mean, it doesn't matter what happens after it. It is what happens. Yeah. This summer, no excuses. Double down when everyone else disconnects. At Equinox, that's high performance living. Iconic spaces built to inspire, personal training backed by real data, unlimited signature classes including Pilates and HIIT. Elevate your post-performance ritual with saunas and steam rooms, as well as innovative treatments at the spa. Everything you need to lock in this summer and unlock your potential at Equinox. Start today at equinox.com. This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new.

28:55It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it, Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required compatibility and availability varies 18 plus.

29:16This episode is brought to you by State Farm. No two football players are exactly alike, and the same is true off the field. That's why State Farm gets to know you, so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Now it's time for the Built Difference Index Football's alternative league table Powered by our friends at midnight The betting app that's built different This week's alternative league table Is top five summer deadline day signings, lads No, United I'd say they're the deadline day experts Specialists Specialists I'll look down the list of some of the players United have signed on deadline day well who might mind this you forget all these Berbatov yeah I remember that that was like a Sir Alex meeting him at the airport thing

30:13Nicky:wasn't it I remember that he was looking through the window at Old Trafford he's walking round yeah I remember that bit Ronaldo when he came back from Juventus Rooney Rooney Fellaini you talk about prices I know it's a long time ago but Rooney 26 million that's nothing that now is it Jesus Christ Martial Anthony Martial um layman's Anthony that was a crap one was it er were you ever surprised by a deadline day signing United no because I think when we was around obviously Sorites was in charge and he had the knack of like all great managers do of getting the players that he wants from big clubs so you imagine like the Berbertov Ronaldo dog yeah sorry reunion you these kind of players it always seemed to be well we've got another one oh we got another one so always berbatov tottenham that was the one when it i i i think when you look through that list who proved on some rest would have been reunion would have been weather no shut about berbatov was it was like they were talking about all the time you never thought he was going to do and like nicky said the manager always had an influence and dealing with daniel leave it probably wasn't easy but the manager always seemed most of the time to get what he wanted don't forget he took Schellingham from there as well and he almost bullied them into that it felt like have you two ever I know you obviously didn't United all your career but you might have had calls on deadline day either of you no not that anyone ever surprised you on deadline day where you've gone bloody hell I think Cristiano was a big surprise at the time coming back because he's brought to Man City I think on the last morning the manager rang him who obviously weren't the manager then but he still had a big influence on him and got him back I think that was a big reason why he came back that was massive remember his first game how big was it at Newcastle he scored an hole didn't he he didn't quite work out he scored a lot of goals it was an incredible signing do you know what it's obviously all hindsight but do you think if he'd have gone City instead he'd have probably worked out a bit better for him no idea no idea at the time he would have been playing in a better team there's no doubt about that yeah it could have happened I wouldn't have liked to see that happen I think that's why I do think that's why United are not going for him because they wouldn't allow that to happen so it might have been well we want him anyway obviously Ronaldo yeah but I feel like Oli was forced into a little bit probably made a few quid and all on shut sales and everything else wouldn't they second time around right I want you to rank the following Premier League deadline day signings 1 to 5 so we've got Mesut Ozil Real Madrid to Arsenal 2013 42.5 million again when you look at the figures now doesn't seem mega money so 184 Premier League appearances for Arsenal, 33 goals, 54 assists, won three FA Cups.

33:21Then you've got Cristiano Ronaldo's return, Juventus to United 2021, 12.8 million, 18 league goals, 30 appearances at the age of 36. Wayne Rooney, Everton to United 2004, 26 million, 13 major trophies including five Premier League titles, four League Cups and the Champions League, the FA Cup, Europa League and FIFA Club World Cup. Brookes for Bobby Charlton's record as United's all-time goal scorer with 253 goals. When I read that about, we know that's number one. Yeah, Berbatov. Yeah, Berbatov, Spurs to United, 2008, 30.75 million. Two Premier League titles, League Cup, Club World Cup in his four seasons at Old Trafford.

34:10and then finally Cole Palmer City to Chelsea 2023 40 million plus 2.5 in add-ons Has Cole Palmer won anything in Chelsea? Club World Cup or is it the one with Trump I think for me I would go

34:25Nicky:Rooney and Wump number one I never realised Christy I know it was 12.8 million I'd go Ronaldo too not because it worked out amazingly well just the nostalgia around it it was massive at the time yeah probably then Palmer 3 Berbatov and Orsworth How have you gone Parma 3 over Berbatov With what he's won I'd go Berbatov 3 Yeah but I just think Don't forget But he's got another Five years Coming over five years At Chelsea So I'm looking at What he could end up Being as well I just think he's A fantastic player I bet he less And I'll get away From Berber What he did He was a phenomenal Footballer And obviously won Two Premier Leagues But I just think I think Parma For the money And for Going and what The impact he had On Chelsea When he first went I think he could Kick on again this year Right I'll go Roonick Cristiano Berbatov I can't really split the other two both brilliant now I'd go Parma and Mazzotzo Mazzotzo were brilliant do you remember Parma when he went to Chelsea and they faced City in that game and he had to take the penalty right at the death he scored it the lad don't forget we've been there he was at City from a really really young age so just go to have the balls to go I'm going to leave I'm going to back myself and show Pep that I am ready because Pep was always thinking, you know, I've got, obviously had an unbelievable team, so it's a lot harder to get in there.

35:41Nicky:But he thought he was ready to go and play in the Premier League and be a superstar, and he did do. He went to Chelsea, put his balls on the table and went and done it. Do you know, when you were talking, we've said it loads of times, even guests have been on, how much family or your partner makes the decision of where you go to, you know, sways you a little bit. With Cole Palmer being at City from such a young age, obviously he's a Northern lad, were you surprised about the Chelsea thing do you not think it like united might have had a sniff or liverpool you know like clubs just in and around the area looking back united should have had a sniff definitely but yeah when we're talking before rivals rivals yeah a city really going to sell to united i don't think so yeah and why would you i could see him going from charlie to united eventually to be fair really yeah i won't be surprised and to be fair at the time when he left city it probably wasn't a rival for City because City would win the league all the time so it didn't really affect where it went so the only difference with your list is you've gone Parma 3, the Berbatov 4, you've gone Berbatov 3, Parma 4 alright, there you go well that was the Built Different Index powered by Midnight, built for now, not like the old school bookies, it's quick to use, simple to navigate, no messing about.

36:59Search Midnight Built Different Index for more information. Remember, you've got to be 18 or older and please gamble responsibly. Can we have a wee break? Oh, for fuck's sake. Go and have a wee. I wonder if it'll go around the leather bit and then you tighten it. Do you know what I mean? There you are. No, no, around the leather. Like, forget the wood. Yeah, around that bit. Put it on inside of it. On inside of her seat. I think you've tied the fucking string to low, didn't you? You've tied the string to low.

37:41Nicky:What is that going to say, Bellend? It's on the same thing. Is it? You can't see. Shouldn't it not be higher up, that? Shouldn't it not be higher up? Well, then they've got no arse. No, I mean the string higher up on the head, so it comes lower down, so you've got more on your arse. You're meant to be on your arse, on your back. Seriously. Both. Right. So that goes... So pull that... Yeah, lower. Lower. Lower. And then tie... I know what I'm going to do. Here we go. Yeah, go on. You got it. Go on, go on, go on. Oh, hey up. Hey up. I think you've nailed it, son. Fucking don't mess about me. I see what you're doing.

38:10See that? Yes. Yes, very good. Tie it.

38:14Nicky:All right, fucking hell. No, you've got another piece of string, though. Why don't you just tie it to that? Because I think you put a loop in that. It's not really nothing to grip on, is it? Fucking hell. It's quite the game, man. Look at that. Hey. I can see why you had the career you had now. This is good. Yeah. Now, pull the seat. Shut up. Pull. I'm just saying. I'm not like a backseat driver. Fucking telling you. Back street? Backseat. Fucking hell. Back street driver. Oh, there we go. Oh, how's that? Oh, yes. Thank you, you uncle. You don't know, Glennon, you just have stuff like that, don't you?

38:48Yeah. Paul's been for a wee break. To all the viewers and listeners, Paul Scholes has been for a little tiddle which is fine, it happens men of a certain age, no wrong with that but we were having a little drink of coffee and Nicky Buck told me something off camera which I find very fascinating, we'll get back to United in a moment, you're saying your doctor told you that instant coffee is better than coffee beans, no I didn't say that what I said was, that's exactly what you said

39:20Nicky:you fucking liar, no I didn't he said that's exactly what he said I was having a weird I don't know oh yeah you're right go on what I said was it got to about coffee I said I like instant coffee because actually it's better for you than the what's this called what do they call this one beads or fucking beans or something like that beans yeah that's you sat on beans the fancy stuff what's it called he's obsessed with beans what's it called the fancy stuff coffee beans yeah because when you have these posh coffees there's so much milk going into you so it's not good for you too much milk well you can put milk instant coffee as well but yeah i don't person that i don't so you have black coffee black coffee with um sometimes i'll just have a little bit of milk is sure if i'll answer your question oh he's gone but then literally apparently it's meant to open your arteries up a lot caffeine so if you drink a lot of coffee that way it's bad for you but tell you what my doctor you asked me a question i'm just telling you what i don't know no but you're talking as though you're Dr Sally?

40:17Who's that on fucking this morning? Dr Sally. Yeah, but not all them coffees out of machines

40:24Nicky:aren't made with milk, are they? No, I'm not about this stuff. This stuff is all made with milk. You've got a cost of coffee. Someone, please help me here, because I feel as though I'm the only person who can see this argument isn't an argument. You're saying instant coffee is better than coffee beans. No, I didn't say coffee beans. No. I said instant coffee is better than this posh coffee with all the milk in. No No Yeah Yeah but that's where it's wrong Because the posh coffee is coffee beans I was just going to say that It's the milk It's what you put in it It's how you have it It's how you have it Yeah but I'm trying to say to you If you have black coffee With actual coffee beans in a coffee maker It'll be better than your instant coffee That's not what I said That's not what I said Right please help Please help me here That's like saying fish is good for you But deep fry it at the chippy It's fucking not good for you is it That's me point That's what I'm trying to say to you.

41:16What's the point then? Please, I can't be on my own here. He's saying instant coffee, black instant coffee is better than posh coffee we're milking. I'm saying yes, but I'm saying the posh coffee is coffee beans. So if you have that black, it's got to be better than instant coffee. It's the same fucking stuff. It's coffee. It's coffee. You're drinking coffee. But you're having it instant. I'm saying coffee beans are the natural things. All you're having is the ground up stuff, made instant, and it'll have other stuff in it because it won't just be coffee, will it? When it's freeze dried and everything.

41:53You know what I say, sir? The coffee in a jar. Oh, you're fucking whining. Honestly, are you doing it on purpose? Is that not just crushed up coffee beans? Oh my fucking God, my brain is actually hurting now. Paddy, right, in all seriousness, what you're both saying, it's all about personal preference. he likes the taste of that one you like the taste of that one have you ever thought about getting a job at the UN? this is fucking fantastic this

42:18Nicky:it's not difficult the argument's just started because Paddy's got a fucking beanies bonnet all I said was no coffee in a jar then so where does instant coffee come from then where's that come from? I can't I can't I can't believe this has happened no the argument is Nicky was saying having milk in your coffee is not good for you yeah so don't put milk in no I know but what I'm saying is he's drinking instant coffee black right so I'm saying that instant coffee won't just be pure coffee it'll have stuff done to it how do you know right okay well how do you fucking make it into what it comes out of Joe it must have something else done to it got Eisenberg ear breaking bad I know exactly I know exactly breaking bad I know exactly what you're saying yeah but what I'm saying is he likes that coffee you like that coffee it just go with it I drink tea anyway fucking I've got a quick one for you oh well it's almond milk how many almonds you have to call me yeah oh man oh oh my face a fucking almond miller's I'm fucking something do with the devil almond yes yeah no like almond milk yeah it must be a thousand to get a carton out hey well you got some milk you don't you put it for a press don't they?

43:39Don't know. Well, you can't milk an almond. Well, I get that. It's got no nipples. Fucking hell. But basically... No, it's got no nipples. You know what? I wish I didn't have ears. This fucking chat. That'll do me. Right, okay. Let's get into the transfers. Deadline day tomorrow. That's come round quick. United. Surely to God they're going to sign a defender or someone at the back. Anything.

44:05Nicky:You'd like to hope so, wouldn't you? I just think it's because you need a big squad they've got eight Champions League games coming up this side of Christmas they've got a lot of games as well with the Cups and the league and you're just thinking look at the history of the injuries with Luke Martinez Maguire's liable for an injury or even a suspension then you've got the young heaven and people like that, you just need a couple I'd like one or two more, right back and a centre back would be perfect, I don't know if it'll happen or not Many names floating about, Lewis Hall always floating about it for a bit from Newcastle that's a good signing I think it'd be good for Liverpool I'd like to see a right back and a centre back me whether it happens or not I don't think it's going to happen this is why United are going to be United again probably not much different from last year not much different from five years they can look devastating at times but at times they'll look like they did in the first half where they can concede goals it's no surprise who's shocked you've got the same back four you had for five years what's going to be talking to the powers that big when Luke we need something doing here 100 % they've got it surely they're too big a club not to that would have been going on for months you're not just talking the last couple of days we conceded two goals I think it's a worry with the deadline day being tomorrow lastmini.com what might help Michael is Luke Shaw getting done yesterday like he did he might go look we need him you think Lewis Shaw might be the most doable who's out there and available do you know what I mean you would have thought some work on that you've heard that many rumours about you would have thought some work on that would have been done well I say they're not going to get a right back because they've got them two the right back yeah they're basically we're getting rid of one of them they're going to get one in so they're not so it's just it's hopeful wishing but I don't see too much happening this one for me Gatport to Man City do you know what he started the season brilliant for Liverpool well he's probably have been Liverpool's best player over two games.

46:07Yeah. It's the figure again. I can't get my head around it. What is it? £85 million. Look, I don't know how true that is. That's what's been reported. Where did these£120 million you're talking about? Bacola? Well, where did these figures? £125 million for me is an absolute superstar player. £125 million for me should be an Mbappe. But they're paying that money potential aren't they not far on Mbappe yeah he's a player who's pretty much in and out of PSG's team in and out of the French team now don't get me wrong he's got great potential I love watching players he's a fantastic player but them sums of money it's just there's no rhyme or reason to anything and you're selling to a rival as well PSG no City Liverpool yeah of course Liverpool that seems a bit of a strange one as well which is when we get on to Chelsea and City as well that's a strange one isn't it City and Liverpool probably are rivals yeah you're right but do Liverpool need Gakpo do they need Barclay as well the only thing with Gakpo I think he could probably play through the middle as well if Isak isn't fit that would be a big advantage in fact Gakpo could play across all three they've still got plenty of wingers who want to play on the left hand side cutting side with the right foot they haven't replaced Seller that one on the right hand side who wants to cut him with his left foot they don't really want to do it and you don't really see the same footed wingers playing on their side so you don't really see right footers on the right side you don't see left footers on the left side but I think if anyone can do it then Gatpo would but it seems like there's a lot of legs in this City thing especially with Grealish looks like Grealish probably goes for Everton as well doesn't it?

47:55Yeah and again I think with Grealish he's he's found Everton at the right time I think he likes it yeah he likes it it feels like the right club

48:05Nicky:feels a bit like Villa as well the kind of size of the club that it is he doesn't have to move out do you think that could as a surprise he could go back to Villa I know it's no one's talked about that but do you think he could do that no I don't funny enough to the end of his career he might go back what he did for Villa was brilliant but I get the impression the Villa fans aren't that fond of him I might be wrong there but I just got that impression Enzo Fernandes to City you're talking about Chelsea he's not been in the Chelsea's last two squads Alonso saying he wants players that are 100 % focused what's up it's not that comfidest thing you bought you'd be offended if it's moving I won't be offended Jesus if you've got beads tickling your bones what is it you're not liking about it the things going round with Jaxi what the beads I wonder if I had a smile on his face oh that's better does it vibrate that as well where'd you get that from Ann Summers

49:10thought you'd like it

49:16is it alright on the neck though on the shoulders that's alright firstly Enzo Fernandes to City or Chelsea is it because he's obviously not happy there it sounds like he's the focus he's trying to get the move no I think he is happy there he has been happy there but why is it Alonso saying he's not 100 % focused because he's had his head turned by Manchester City but Chelsea if Chelsea want to win the league which look I don't think they can anyway they can't afford to let they cannot let Enzo Fernandos go to Man City he was starting with Gusto in midfield yesterday but that's not going to be good enough now Rhys James he's started him in midfield but that's not going to be good enough I wasn't a massive fan of Enzo when he first came from Manchester but he's grown on me, I think he's a brilliant player and I think he would be very good for Manchester City but that is a direct rival that's the gap four thing as well think about City, they've had Chelsea's pants down before with the manager they obviously unsettled the manager in December their January time to bring him to City for the following season.

50:27Now, they ruined City, really. Getting into Mureska ruined Chelsea's season last season. Yeah. Because they were flying at the time. They were going really well. And if Enzo Fernandes goes to City now in these next 24 hours where it is, that could potentially... City could ruin Chelsea's season for the last two seasons. It's bonkers, isn't it? That's so obvious as well.

50:53Nicky:But it just keeps happening. But if you're Alonso, he might be thinking, you know, we probably won't win it this year, but I'm going to really go for it next year and I want to get some of the bad eggs out of my squad. Yeah. He's got rid of a few players and if someone really wants to go and they're already talking, is it worth keeping him? You know that like, Isaac's the famous one, isn't he, where he down tools at Newcastle. You've got this situation now with Finanzen and Ollie Watkins at Villa. Yeah. You know, is it a good look that like, If you want to move, you can still play, can't you? You still play for your team.

51:27Could you imagine our managers are doing that? Selling one of his best players to one of his... No, absolutely. Never in a million years. But again, no, it just feels like it's the modern game. Managers aren't in control of things anymore. That's right. It's clubs and clubs and football. Money always comes into it. It's money, yeah. It's ridiculous. Fly on my nose. But if he goes to City, it makes a hell of a better team. So why would Chelsea want to do that? if he goes to City the only thing is Chelsea might be looking for a replacement for him now if they found her it was Alex Scott from Bournemouth he looks he's a really good player by the way but I don't know if they're going to sell him I think they've asked about Adam Wharton as well so if they don't get any of them two or a replacement in for him now in the next two days they absolutely can't do it

52:13Nicky:going on that Wharton you watch a game the other day Palace he's played well again good player he'll be gone Ozie's still there he won't be there he won't be there tomorrow He won't be there. He'll be gone. Who's he going to then? I don't think he'll be gone. He'll be late now. Unless Chelsea come in with something stupid. Because we've not heard a single thing about him moving. No, I think we heard that Chelsea inquire and they said no, didn't we? Over the last couple of days. Really? I think I've got Chelsea. Something could still happen. If they come in with like 100 million, which is not stupid these days, I won't be surprised about them.

52:43Nicky:If you look at the teams at the top, that could get him potentially. City, no, they're not going to go there now. Man United, no, they're not going to go there now. Liverpool. Do you know what? City might still go there. Chelsea. if they say no to Anzo Fernandes oh yeah that's a snowball effect it'd be amazing tomorrow everything's switched around yeah well you're right there so it will be I think it will be Fernandes but if it's not him then it will be Warton oh right okay watch this space Fernandes does well go to City we know that and what people don't realise he's agreed his deal with City they're always down they're down the line on that one he's agreed his wages he's agreed everything he's probably had a car with Moresco all these things that probably shouldn't happen they happen all the bloody time of course they do yeah but if it doesn't go through then what are you just like when you try to sign somebody the first thing you do you ring his agent and you you see if the player is interested at first you agree everything you agree everything wages coming to your house where you're going to live you get all that done and the last thing you do is go to the club so I think that's just the next step hey just before we move off that another one for the Tigers hey I'll hold yeah hey What's that?

53:53What do they do? Newcastle aren't going down, aren't they? Who said that?

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54:41This episode is brought to you by State Farm. No two football players are exactly alike, and the same is true off the field. That's why State Farm gets to know you, so they can help personalise coverage for your life and budget. Like a good neighbour, State Farm is there. This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Shopify, power, lots of businesses, lads. Big business, small business, businesses just starting off. Remember, if you've cast your mind back, I had a brilliant business idea myself. Mercom. on. Planet's getting hotter. Fell on deaf ears. Can we do it? I think we can do it. Do you know why?

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56:15Get it up and running fast and no coding needed. You know, when you go on a website, they're a bit clunky. They're a bit of a nightmare. They're all jigged in. Don't flow right. And none of the things you click on work properly first time. They make it really difficult to pay for what's in your basket. And by the way, there's a culture of this now in shops. They like doing you a favor, taking your money off you. Have you ever noticed that? He had it with the sausage rolls. Remember, you just want to give someone money for a product. I went to a car showroom. I walked around there 15 minutes. No one out.

56:4915 minutes. The minute you want someone or you don't want someone, they're there on your shoulder. And it makes you walk out, doesn't it? It does make you walk out. Exactly. Well, none of that's a problem for Shopify because Shopify checkout means more customers actually buy and returning ones can do it in a single click. But what if anything goes wrong? Well, Paul, I'm glad you asked that because Shopify's built-in AI assistant sidekick is ready to help us build, troubleshoot and keep on doing business. Brilliant. Nippy butts. Nippy butts. With Shopify. We're doing it, lads. Nippy butts it is.

57:27Yeah. Hands in. No, leave it. Shopify powers millions of businesses worldwide from some of the world's biggest brands. To small businesses just getting started, all you need is the idea and Shopify handles the rest. Start your free trial at shopify.co.uk. That's shopify.co.uk. Now, before we wrap up the podcast, I did say at the beginning, cast your mind back before all the coffee chat and milking almonds and all that. I said we've had a message in from another one of our viewers slash listeners about Nicky Bort. Folks, this is a belter. Let me have a look. Right, so this is from Lucy. Oh, God.

58:22Oh, hey. Pepped up a little bit, though, didn't he? He looks a bit nervous. He looks really scared. Lucy firstly thank you so much for sending this in oh you know what can I guess go on she didn't serve in the sausage roll this year oh no okay wait wait this is nowhere near social territory right Lucy said hiya lads just wanted to tell you about my very random dream last night I was on holiday on a really big sun lounger. Funny how she's on holiday. Yeah, that's where she's on. How big the sun lounger is there? Next minute, Nicky Butt is on the lounger with me and he's trying it on. Hey, well, this gets better.

59:17He's trying it on. So he starts kissing me and then stops. Next minute, he starts again, but I can taste mint. Is this for real or what? It's not a bad thing, is it? I said, what's that, Nicky? And Nicky says, I'm just brushing my teeth. So I thought, okay, a bit random, but whatever. Next minute, he's got his toothbrush in my mouth. I'm glad you said mouth. And he's brushing my teeth. I said, Nicky, what are you doing? And he was like, what's up with you? Have you never had someone brushing your teeth before? What the hell? Like it was, it should be turning me on. Funniest bit was, it was a teenage mutant ninja toothbrush.

1:00:11I mean, this is what it's after. You used to have that for the kids, didn't you? You remember, yeah. Unfortunately, Paddy, things didn't progress to the next stage and me bloody alarm went off. Anyway, I thought I'd just share that with you because it was a little bit random. Nikki Butts never been on my radar romantically. I was more of a Michael Owen kind of girl back in the day. But there you go. Keep up the good work, lads. We love the show. Thanks for that, Lucy. I enjoyed that. Very random brush. Isn't it funny how you pop up in people's dreams like that? I've got to say, you two haven't appeared in any of my dreams since I met you properly.

1:00:50Not a bad thing. No, I know, but sometimes someone just does, don't they, just randomly? but you've not been in there I don't dream that much do you not? no what's your standard dream because some people have nightmares a lot some people just don't dream who? you can fly you dream you can fly do you have the care?

1:01:11Nicky:but no no but then I have not I'd like someone to no I don't I've walked down the street I have no control over it I just fly but then I also have no I have no control on it coming down and I end up just going out of the sky and falling and I wake up like think it's weird they all mean something yeah but i could be walking down the street with like a shopping bag or something and i just go and take off i'll have no control over it at all and then i'll be flying great and then all of a sudden i just fall like from the sky all the way that every time but that's very very rare that i have dreams but i do that's the only one i can remember nikki uh ai just asked him what does that mean they say no control over it though hey it's not I say I've got no control over me taking off and coming down.

1:01:57Nicky:It's not like I'm Superman. I can just go off and fly somewhere. Just press a button. Fucking hell. It'll make a difference, won't it? With no control.

1:02:10Right. Here we go. It's thinking. Dreaming about flying with no control usually means you feel overwhelmed and a lack of power in your waking life. And do you know what I have to do?

1:02:28Nicky:Every Monday night after being around him. Every Monday night. A lack of power. Lack of power. Does he mention how it's about not knowing a fucking thing about coffee? No. Hey. Whoa. Common meanings here, Nicky. See, when you said that, I thought, oh, this is flying. The flying's great. It's no control. It's the no control. That's what I'm saying to you. Big changes. is a recent life change can make you feel excited but also a bit unstable no no he is unstable stress and anxiety you worry about situations too much no no not a worry I like this section I think we should do it give us one of your dreams I'll do it no I can't think of one but that's what I'm trying to think of one but if we think of one if you have a dream this week I'd love to find out about your fucking dreams yeah I'd love we're going to find out one of his next week any other one I'll write it down that's all for this week's episode of the good the bad and the football powered by midnight the betting app that's built different we're back next Monday see you then

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