Scholes & Butt Discuss UFOs, Supernatural Experiences & Witch Doctors

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0:50After a painful day, make Icy Hot part of your nighttime recovery ritual. Icy Hot. You're so back. When you think like an athlete, setbacks don't stop you. But mindset alone doesn't get you moving again. That's where Icy Hot steps in. Ice works fast. Heat makes it last. So when the rest of the world settles because of a setback, Icy Hot accelerates your comeback with fast-acting, powerful pain relief. Icy Hot, you're so back. Welcome to the good, the bad and the football Sponsored by Midnight The betting app that's built different As you can see, we're in our tuxies Because it's award season time, lads We've come to the end of the season We've got a few awards to give out And everyone likes ranking things, don't they?

1:45First, second and third and gold, silver, bronze Before we get into the football We do a lot of travelling us what would you say is the UK's best service station? Random but Birch Where's that? Middleton Middleton so you've gone for one that's on your doorstep. It's like sentimental for me I used to meet there. What's in a Birch services? Greg's That's good. Good start. I like that We used to drop them off so we used to Southside Manchester pick up was over our way at Ailway and then there's Birch it was like Scooby, David May Brian Kidd if you're going to Newcastle Newcastle alright okay so there's a Greggs what else walk through to Costa Burger King on the left Costa on the right tell you what it's not like it's been there not been there a lot you know what's fucking map of it if you want a bit of M &S food you've got to go to the other side right so you're saying Birch I'm going to say Beaconsfield just outside I know what you mean and I've been what are you rubbing your head for it's got everything can I say something about you I think you're a really good guy right but there's always a good guy before I say but I like you a lot however you kill yourself because you've got a lot of fans fucking from the north of England that fucking look at the solid paddy ears like legend back in the day you know Max and Paddy all this kind of stuff and now you live in Presbyter and now you're saying your favourite one's in fucking London well firstly I didn't say that I said Beaconsfield outside of London anything past the RAC anything past the RAC is London this is well I've got a nice one actually he won't know where that is he won't know where that is what's it called he won't know for services it's called for services he won't remember it he's not been back to Bolton for about 15 years I did a bit of filming though but let me tell you this is we all get brought into this trap lads as working class people right you're not allowed to spread your wings that's why they keep us down Nicky you've got to rise up and see a little bit of the country you've got to get out there because these lot keep us in the mills in the coal mines but going out and spreading your wings is a good thing but then you come back I do come back you always come back tell us about your services why is it your favourite one what is it well I'll tell you firstly have you been yes I have have you yeah and you know what he likes it as well that's what's hurt him because he knows it's a good one it's a belt never been to be honest with you in a fucking bin Pizza Express Greggs Chiquitos I think it's called KFC McDonald's there's an Indian in there WH Smith's fucking toy shop Starbucks is it the Arndale?

4:39no hang on there's oh fucking Wetherspoons which is a bit weird because you're on service you're driving international sign Wetherspoons it'll weather spoons I mean he's got it all Beaconsfield yeah it's about to you've got to come off the motorway for it though yeah I don't like it you've got to come off the motorway a little bit but sometimes you've got to go out of your way for that little nugget you know Indiana Jones didn't just fucking find the old lost ark did he easy peasy he had to go down the thing with the boulder chasing him there's another one I was thinking of T-Bay man T-Bay Tebby no T-Bay T-Bay do you call it T-Bay yeah what is it called everybody calls it T-Bay I'm just saying it could be here we go another fucking nice biscuit no no I've heard people call it Tebby who the fuck's called it Tebby I've never ever heard it called Tebby no one's called it Tebby in the like it's T-bay I personally call it T-bay just saying you don't you call it Tebby and you fuck something for I'm going to get shut up again here I didn't write that's the best one it's got the farm shop in there the best sausage rolls you'll ever get I know you mean the one right on the door to Manchester which is where you only go to because you are working class through and through.

5:48It's actually just at the side of Manchester-Irndale Centre. T-Bay services. When he stops ranting, are you allowed gore? When he stops ranting, I'll speak. I'm allowed gore. I can't go to fucking one anywhere else in the country, but you can go to one that sells artisan bakery goods. Mine's got fucking Wetherspoons in it. His has got an artisan baker's and he's calling me out. Go on then, give us the big T-Bay thing. first of all I said nothing about Manchester I said Northern and if you fucking know T-Bate it's North well it's practically it's practically fucking Scotland I rest my case again it's North anyway I think he might be on his way now to winning one of his awards I suppose oh I know what's coming up exactly well go on then talk us through it so you've got Artisan Bakery in there yeah it's got a nice fucking butcher's where the farm butchers get all the stuff all the food all the stuff fucking garden why do you have to swear it nice fucking butchers in there it's got lovely butchers nice fucking butchers in there everything's got aggression everything's got aggression it's got a lovely duck pond outside I'm going to say sit with what?

7:01sit with your sausage roll is that what he calls it? do you know what? that's my favourite one I've got to say I forgot about the duck pond I thought I'd treat that I thought about it yeah when you go up to Plague Scotland you would have stopped there it's great there's actually a really nice one as you go to Gloucester way like it looks like a bit of a Teletubbie when have you been to Gloucester? Bristol oh right it's like like a like a Teletubbie house it's like grass roofs and all that stuff it's brilliant fucking Tinky Winkies wandering around getting your order there's Nicky they've got like farm shops and fresh fruit and all that kind of stuff I like that do you know what you lads have done a bit of travelling some lovely ones in Germany and Austria very nice different vibe in the services over there sorry to interrupt you remember when we pulled up in Japan at one with Sven we was going on one of them big long journeys for the game I like the sound of those Japanese services I can't remember in what way?

8:05it was just like everything was done by a robot you press the long light honestly the things get brought out it was weird what did you order? that robot brought you. It was just like anything you wanted, anything seriously. It wasn't pretty much it was all machine based like on your touch screen like McDonald's or whatever you do and then obviously you just sit at this counter and this door opens and the fucking thing gets pushed out to you. It's unbelievable. I don't think I've ever been in a service in Germany or Austria. What are they like? Very nice. A lot of bread based things but fresh. Do you know they do them like a big pretzel but with salt on them.

8:42Have you had them over there? Yeah, I don't like them well yeah that's what I'm saying that's why I was building it up and you had all I come and a coffee like a pretzel aren't they but it's like a brown light brownie it's like the same colour as this table very salty right well let's get into giving some awards out chaps now we're going to look back at the World Cup but also our first season on the pod as well can you believe it's been one season I think with the World Cup it seems like we've done a lot we have the last six weeks been we do a break haven't we we do a break you're an oldie you Paddy I've been away for about a week I've had a few breaks I've been away for three weeks you two have had a few breaks to be fair I've got to say I've never known anyone to do as many holidays as you ever when when's I wasn't an oldie you're permanently you're permanently away permanently at airports work got paid the bills what about you you was away in Turkey two weeks yo fucking hell I've had I went hard five days Scully was in Portugal two weeks ago you were in Portugal as well I mean fucking hell last time I went away I can't remember last time I went away didn't affect the podcast at mine and your break though did it well yours fucking did we worked around it oh no no no no it was a different break it was a different break see we work around it don't we Paddy we work around it I'm sure you work on one of the week very thoughtful I missed one so have I no you haven't I have no you haven't I have you've missed more than one one we're still like what the fucking hell is this oh the Mondays he's gonna win Yeah, you've done about three.

10:11He's going to win that most aggressive award again in a minute today on the award show. How can you do that? How can you do that on the award show? Go on then, give us the fucking awards. Right, well, we'll start off. Here we go, look. There we go. Get out, he's off again. Give us the fucking awards. Give us the fucking awards. It's not an aggression where I swear it's not aggressive, is it? Right. Friendly swear. We're going to start with some World Cup awards. This is the award for How Has Nobody Signed Him Award. Right, so I'm going to give you a few options here. Vazina Kate Verde goalkeeper he was a free agent going into the World Cup there's rumours no swirling he's linked with Inter Miami now is it a classic never buy a player from having a good World Cup who's 41 41 not going to happen is it yeah I don't think it's happening goalkeeper though I suppose you might get a year or two out of him but you're not going to play for Inter Miami right you think about this Salford right yeah so club you know what the outgoing's like running a football club you need to make a few quid you sign he's got 15 million followers on Instagram you sign him shirt sales alone will get you through a season won't it will be with it and keep him on the bench no I'm not sure you'd do alright of course you would but League 1 League 2 no is he wanna gonna do that no right okay then I wouldn't go with him I think he's Obviously, it was great to see somebody like that who's unknown have a great little World Cup, but I don't think he's understandable.

11:44He's not understandable. All right, well, I'll give you... There's more. Ayoub Bouade, 18-year-old Moroccan midfielder. Some interest from top European clubs, but Manchester City, no interest in an£85 million deal for him. I see that with him. I think he's a top top. I watched him and I'd never heard of him before, got to be honest. I watched it in the early part of the tournament and I thought he's fantastic. straight away I know what you're saying I thought I could see him playing Barcelona the way he plays football what do you see as an ex-pro that a fan won't see when you're looking at a player pretty much everything I'm a fan it's pretty much one fan see if you see someone taking the ball I think it's goal you've touched on it with the midfield in England when someone's taking the ball like comfortably in all the areas of the pitch at 18 on the biggest stage in the world there's something special about him now I'm not saying you're going to go on and be this great player like a Xavi or anybody like that however to do that at 18 have the mindset to go and be able to do that on a football pitch It's special.

12:38Yeah, I don't think he's right. He's a modern dam is for the other way. I don't think he'll ever be the most creative or score goals, but he knows how to play a position. He's brave for an 18-year-old kid. Yeah, you can see it. When you look at what Rodgers has gone to Chelsea for, for someone like him at 18, looking like an exciting player, going to be a top player,£85 million. Is that cheap for City? Where's he at? Lille? Lille, yeah. It's a gamble when you get a transfer. Someone like Morgan Rodgers, you've seen, he's played in the biggest league in the world and he's got some background checks, if you like.

13:17This boy's a bit of a gamble, but he could be one that'll be amazing. I think you're right, 85 million does sound cheap when you think about Caicedos, Declan Rice's and all them type of players for 100 million quid. I don't think it's like Morgan Rodgers. He's more of a Caicedo or a Declan Rice for 85 million quid at 18 years of age. Would you be happy with him at United? I think United, they can't afford gambles now. They've got to go for established good players. Julian Quinonez. Hope I got that right. Four goals and one assist for Mexico on the back of a season in Saudi where he scored 33 goals in 31 games.

13:56He's 29, but he's never played in Europe and he's been linked with a£65 million move to Aston Villa. never played in Europe as well never played in Europe 29 years of age played in Saudi tough league that innit Prem to come into at that age never played there I don't see it now look you can't knock his record in Saudi 32 and 31 is not bad is it you just think how has he got to 29 without being in a top club in Europe already do you know what I mean is it a case that when you're playing out in Saudi a bit like Ivan Toney really where you just he's been scoring for fun out there where you just sort of out of sight out of mind yeah a little bit Ivan Tony's done it over here don't he so look if someone came in for Ivan Tony to Austin Miller yeah do you think we'd see Ivan Tony back I know he's not on this list but do you think we'd see him back in the Premier League how old is he don't know I think he's 30 I think he'll stay in there for three years he's probably three years don't you have three seasons or something oh is that what it is oh he's definitely not coming back so out of those who would you the Moroccan kid for me For me as well.

15:05I agree. The award goes to him, but I just can't say his name. Ayub Bayou... There we go. Ayub Buadi. Ayub Buadi. Yeah, congratulations, Ayub. Yeah, he's got that. He's won the award for How Has Nobody Signed Him. Right, okay. This is the Erpo Lounge Award, everyone. So this is the award for someone you expect a lot from, but it doesn't look like they've made it out of the lounge. This is easy, this one, isn't it? well let me run through some of the names on here but you might have your own Bruno Fernandes zero goals one assist in five games that's after a record breaking season for United Thomas Tuchel was supposed to be the man to get England over the line but he didn't get England any further than Gareth Surfgate would have done he did what do you mean he did?

15:56well they came third they've never done that before since the World Cup is the highest position alright okay yeah I'll give you that one Germany just as a team lost two of their four games at the tournament and went out on penalties against Paraguay right out of those who would you pick have you got one of your own no it's got to be Bruno Bruno and Portugal both of them yeah it was a big disappointment because he was brilliant last season wasn't he and it feels like ages ago I can't really remember what happened to Portugal because I kind of thought oh they'll be there of outs in the mix for me I think I'd go with Germany only because as a team collective and the manager's so called amazing in what he does and it's just a big country football Germany I know you look at Bayern Munich and all the players that are over there for me it's just like with Bruno on you could see that coming because he's had two long seasons now in Man United where he's carried that football club on his own for a while to be honest with you and I think he's run out of steam but I get what it's saying about the Portuguese in general but for me Germany and it's like they were so poor how long ago does it feel like Germany went out I mean they went out in June I think Holland have we got Holland I think no it was a disappointment as well because I think they had a decent team the German one though I think what they've done which is you know if you're a German I was going to say a fan but if you're German if you're German straight away got rid of the manager bring in Klopp who's a really exciting manager is that confirmed is it done and it's looking like exciting times ahead for them because they're not just going to give Klopp one tournament and that's it, he's going to be there to build Depends how he does I suppose Have they got the players coming through as well I don't really know It's not as if it was a big shock Germany going out at first as soon as it did because I don't think people expected an awful lot from them So what are we doing?

17:53You're saying Bruno Fernandes, you're saying Germany It's going to be on you this Bruno and Portugal I'm saying I think because of what you said I know what you were saying about Bruno he's had he's carried United and all the rest of it so it was no surprise to me but Germany I just thought they were going to do more in this World Cup see I didn't I don't think anybody expects it apart from you no but it's Germany isn't it it's Germany you just expect somebody to get results yeah do you know why they beat somebody 7-0 didn't they they beat Cursos 7-0 7-1 I get what you're saying scores here but just for me before that they have a knack of doing well in tournaments and not a big crap and I just think to get knocked out get knocked out quarter final semi final you're like oh I see it but to get knocked out when they did like you said in bloody June yeah terrible right we're going to say Germany well done Germany Germany right is it well done yeah it's well no it's not well done is it what are you now talking about disappointments like that and Tuchel and the semi final and you know everyone knows where we are on that but coming out of football when it comes to disappointments it's the small everyday disappointments that get to me do you know what I mean like the little things like going to the drive-thru for your burger and chips and you drive off and they don't put the fries in things like that what's your small disappointment check it out the window I'll check it out the window do you know one of the ones for me pisses me off and I hate putting petrol in full stop when you're in a rush you get to the petrol station you get you get out you think you might just fill me can't put it doesn't go and you're looking like that in the shop and they've gone for a p or somebody turn all the pumps off and they come walking back in that slow down you go and i'm going yeah hey sometimes they don't go for a p you just get a militant fucker they just fucking turn the pumps off looking at you know going i want to put petrol as a petrol station that winds me and it's bleep ding, ding, ding that and when it clicks and when it clicks all the time it stops putting the petrol and you've got to turn the that's because you're full up no it's not I think it's mine of course it is it's not it's fucking not it doesn't work sometimes you've got to turn it you've got to tilt it a little bit haven't you yeah but it's because you're getting up yeah because you're getting up to your no but it does it at 20 sometimes at 20 quid fucking hell what petrol what car have you got everyone will know what I'm talking about it's only you who don't know what I'm fucking talking about here I fucking know a thing or two about this when you put your nozzle in and you do that it has a valve in it that if it senses yeah so what I'm saying is you're putting it in at a funny angle so it thinks it's full up that's what it is you need to turn the pump a bit I just need to turn the pump did I just say they need to turn the pump I don't know what any of you are talking about Petro Station near where I live near the old football ground old school they come out and fill the car up for you yeah there's one near me bloody hell in the winter in the winter it's brilliant and he said they come and fill it up for you and he like and they bring the tap machine out and you tap your...

20:54Oh! The other thing about McDonald's, if you ask for a barbecue dip or a ketchup and they don't put them in, that's annoying. Oh yeah. Do you know what else? Order a tea, they don't put the milk in. Yeah. That gets right on my tits. Yeah, no, I get that. And one hour since you, before you get a bottle of tomato ketchup, the plastic one, you go like that to put it on your food and note comes out because you've not took the fucking plastic lid off and you put it back on and then water comes out. By the way, that water that comes out... Shake it. I know what you're saying but hear me out only in ketchup there's no water in salad cream no water in mayo no water in brown sauce no what is it with ketchup what's that fucking bit of water on top of the ketchup tomato juice lads that ketchup by the time it gets in that bottle is so refined there is no fucking tomato juice it's just settlement when it's settled you don't just put all the fresh Tom and Tommy's in the bottle and put it on the fucking shelf have you done inside the factory that tomato no I've not but I know I fucking know that that's the basics but what I'm when you open a tin of tomato when you open a tin of tin of plum tomatoes there's no water in it well there is there's liquid no that's the tomato juice there's no water which is coming out of the ketchup there's only water in the ketchup no it's actual like clear water it's not clear water it's not clear water it's like fucking that it comes out it's just water on your fucking thing what's it having you on Vignon!

22:22What is it? What the fuck's on? It's the French eating it with shells. No, but that juicy bit, it's a bit orange, isn't it? So you can see a bit of tomatoes in it. It's not orange. It's not clear. No, it is clear. It's just a bit of water. It's not clear. All right. So it's like that. That's clear water. So it's like that. All right. Well, it's fucking not like crystal clear, but it's not orange or red. But anyway, what I'm saying is... Where are you getting names from? Ketchup's not orange. No, he said orange, not me. it's uh it's it's just one at any end that's one of my small disappointments this episode is brought to you by google chrome you think you know a browser but gemini and chrome that's new it can help you with practically anything on the web like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50 page restoration block or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks gemini and chrome is here for it ready to make anything online make sense there's no place like chrome check responses set up required compatibility and availability varies 18 plus.

23:22Now it's time for a special instalment of Built Different, where we discuss what makes world-class players different from us mere mortals, powered by our friends at midnight. The betting app that's Built Different. This week, lads, I want you to decide who deserves the Midnight Built Different Award for player of the tournament. We've got four contenders. Kylian Mbappe Lionel Messi Rodri and Bellingham so firstly they all bring something different to the game which is the first name that springs off the sheet at you though Kylian Mbappe I love him I think he's brilliant yeah look you can't argue against any of them they thought they were all fantastic tournaments Rodri obviously got it Bellingham was brilliant for England I just always lean to Messi because it's not only because of his age and the nostalgia around him.

24:17That's it. But yeah, I'd have to say definitely Mbappe just because of what he'd done. I said you always lean to me. Well, that's what I'm saying. That's why I'm explaining why I would do it. But you can't. They're all brilliant. Bellingham from midfield scored seven goals. You know, you two just said Mbappe there. Can you believe 30 million fans signed a petition for him to leave Madrid. By the way, how many goals did he score? 50 goals? 41. What is going on at Real Madrid? How do you, as a player, though what more do you want that they want from you I absolutely don't know it's a different football club in it and when they don't win so much someone's got to the blame any chance been moving Premier League well I think I'll put me he's one of them people you just can't seem the print but like Zidane I don't know if it's just I can never see him in the but I'd love it I think do you think he'd go to the Italian League it has to be one well he gets got the most money because he's not going to afford it.

25:09It'll be£300 million if he went somewhere. He could be a Saudi one, couldn't he? If the Saudi one's still going by the time he gets to£30, it'll be Saudi. I've nothing against the Saudi league, but it feels to me he's a little bit of a waste going to Saudi league. Yeah, of course you are. Or even the German league, maybe. No. Bayern? It's going under goals in the German league. Bayern, possibly, I can see that. It could only be Bayern, though. It could only be Real Madrid in Spain. If he was to come to the Premier League, just dream scenario, forget where your loyalties lie what club do you think he'd go that's the one that would be the best one in England Man United you don't think City no Man United you're too Man United I think I actually think I could see him play for Barcelona that's happened before that's happened loads of times not so much now but you're thinking Ronaldo Brazil and Ronaldo did it Figo I could see him in a Barcelona kid Enrique Enrique when that happens Figo is a famous one isn't it but does the team they go to accept them I know they get pelters off the team they've left they do start scoring goals or winning trophies yeah of course you do Rodri it says supposedly one of the most down to earth players so much that he's in La Liga via Villarreal he was doing business studies at uni and he lived at a student digs did his own laundry owned chores around the house and what have you I've seen that a couple of years ago I've seen that to be admired you can imagine that I can't believe it he looks like a top lord doesn't he I remember I can't remember I was at City's Grand for something I may be doing TV and speaking to Barty Ola about him and he said how much he's just normal you look at him there's no tattoos he's just a proper proper footballer loves his football just down to earth and you see every footballer got a tattoo I'm not saying it's right or wrong but and then Bellingham's on the list as well yeah and I was pleased he scored that goal against France as well when he come on just again showing that quality but weirdly where he is now and he's so young and all the others Mbappe as well but it feels to me like he'll be one of these names on this list Bellingham if he carries on the way he's going in two, three, four years where you'll be going, oh, yeah, him.

27:42I don't think he's far off it now, is he? He had an unbelievable, not so much this season because he had a few injuries, but the year before, Real Madrid was sensational. And to score seven goals from midfield, what's some achievement in that in eight games? The best thing you can do if you want to keep on the trajectory that is going on is staying away from England because as soon as you become a big superstar in this country, papers are out to get you, they're pressed out to knock you down. you look at Gazze you look at Beckham look at Rooney all the main superstars they just get knocked down it's sad to see but it's just what happens in this country and where he is now for me there's no better place for him to peace that should actually go in that way he's going to be if he is now like Scores he's a superstar but he's just some player let's be honest Real Madrid isn't a bad club be at is it really do you know what I mean and a place to live as well Madrid big year for him next year actually yeah Yeah, really big year.

28:37So, off the names off the list there, who are you picking? You both going with Mbappe still? Yeah, I am. Ten goals in eight games in the World Cup. Yeah, two of them against us in the bronze medal game, but that's okay. Don't count, does it? Don't count, does it? I'm just saying. Right. So there you go. Kylian Mbappe is our player of players. That was Built Different, Powered by Midnight, built for now, not like the old school bookies. It's quick to use, simple to navigate, no messing about. Remember, you've got to be 18 or older and please gamble responsibly. Do you know, it's funny, like, this World Cup, it's literally just finished and when you sit back and think about stuff, that goes out your head.

29:24Do you remember this? That witch doctor? It was Nana Kwaku Bonsum. Put a cuss on it, I reckon. Yeah, not so good. with that and he lifted it after the game don't you remember yeah and he said right curse off and then he put one on Messi as well did he but I think Messi's that good he defied the witch doctor good three do you believe all that I'm not sure I believe in the witch doctor's curse but if a witch doctor walked in and went I'm cursing you like that with all the gear on I'd fucking hell I've got a curse on me you'd be nervous about it subconsciously I think so, yeah. Would you? I do believe in ghosts or something.

30:05There's been a paranormal. There's something in the world that you can't explain. And I think there's other life forms in the universe. Do you believe in God? Yeah. I believe in fucking everything. God's always watching, isn't it? Are you leading me down to cul-de-sac here? No. He's going to hit me with some kind of wanking thing. When people do nasty stuff, I always think God's watching. I fucking hope not has anyone has anyone ever seen a ghost he's fucked he's absolutely game over ever seen a ghost I guarantee you Paddy says yeah yeah it's gonna be some he's had some fucking full of shit stories go on how was it even I was just gonna say have you ever seen a ghost no but I've definitely there you go no but I never said I had go on doesn't mean that because I've not seen it it doesn't fucking exist I've not seen an alien but I'm pretty sure there's something out there in the universe I believe there's a lot more to the world than the universe exactly I think we've not discovered it yet but I think there's another layer they call it it's not the quantum it's coming to it what's it called there's a fucking there's a thing isn't there there's a what we don't see what's it called like a reality we don't see bullshit no no there is I've seen I've seen fucking Brian Cox talking about this parallel universe parallel universe I think he's I think he's nailed it.

31:30I went to the same school as my kids. What was that one? What was he called? Yeah, D-Rain. From Oldham. What was he called on Phoenix Knights? I'm getting the word. What a name. What a name. Come here to me. Oh, that one's fucking great. I'm getting the word. I'm going to kick your fucking head in. I was just going to say, I was having a clear voice. But yeah, I don't believe in that. I don't believe in... Clear voice? No. Why? It's proven. I watched Derren Brown do it. he proved it he went into a thing he said I have absolutely no psychic abilities whatsoever and he sat down they're in tears because they thought he would be in touch with like relatives who passed away and he showed her you can just do it so I don't really believe in that because I think there's too many shysters out there but something there's there's a spirit realm there's something did you ever do a Ouija board when you was a kid fuck that Ouija board did you ever do one no fucking hell I struggled I don't know We used to camp out on Godfrey Ehrman's Field in Gorton.

32:32Camp out on a Friday night. Tell your mum and dad you're staying. Godfrey Ehrman? Yeah, honestly. What the fuck's that? From Gorton, Godfrey Ehrman. That's what it was called. I didn't fucking name the field. Somebody else named it. It's all aggressive. So literally, we had the Ouija board. Fucking fucking me fucking. How does an everything here? Ouija board. I swear it's that. And I'm not lying. I don't, I'm not into all that, but I promise you now, started fucking shaking. I don't know if someone's doing it via remote. Of course someone were doing it. they weren't doing it remote control were your mate on the tail with his legs were on the tail with your dick it was on the floor on the floor someone buried underneath it anyway remember the only fills on our we all come running out sprinting out down the road like three in the morning banging on doors to get back in the house I shit myself and what was the thing I don't care was it spinning round was it a proper Ouija or was it proper Ouija board when you got a mate because I've got a Ouija board I can't remember I think it was one of the girls I wouldn't have a Ouija board in the fucking house lads it was Wendy's fault wasn't it Wendy's yeah he's had a shock I tell you he's a fucking story, can you?

33:27No, but... So, I thought he was going to tell us you've actually seen a ghost, have you not known? No, but I have... I think I have definitely seen something in the sky, like a UFO. A cloud. The moon? A cloud? No, I'm telling you. The sun? You know, I saw it, haven't we? An aeroplane. I would show you this on my phone, but you'll not have it. I took a picture of it. Right? I'm telling you, it was in the sky. Come on. This is about three weeks ago. Silver... Jet 2, that is. silver in the sky like that. I'm like, what the fuck's that? Takes a picture of it. Star. And as I'm looking at it, it just disappeared.

34:04Did it not zoom you up? Do you want to see it on me phone? Might be one of them kids balloons. Yeah, that's what it'll be. Fucking show you that. Fucking happy birthday. I sent it to my mates. Happy 50th balloon. The red thing's the arrow. Yeah, I've drawn the arrow pointing to the blob. It's a fucking balloon. No, that's not it, yeah. That's what I'm going to say. So this is out front of our house. See that little red mark? I put that in for the lads. for fuck's sake it's a helium balloon a silver one a silver foil one lads let me fucking finish the red mark his eye put it on the red is not the balloon I'm going to zoom in for you right because you couldn't see it it was like a silver orb in the sky watch what the fuck you know is it exactly it's fucking nothing there fucking hell it's gone off my picture oh my god fucking hell where's that gone that was a ghost it's fucked off his phone as well look at Clinton Baptist's day what the fucking hell that is weird lads I'm telling you when I took that picture and sent it so you took a picture of this guy and just thrown a red mark show the one that you sent go to the message that you sent it on it it'll be on that that's what I'm on weird shit show of hands do you believe in spirits and ghosts and things like that right do you believe there's aliens you just think it's us I don't know if you've seen anything else do you know the vastness of space not just our universe like billions of universes so you're getting into the trillions thing here that we'll never ever see even if you had the speed of light you'd never get to them right how do you know what no one's ever been to them so how do you know

35:53how do i know it's fucking physics it's fucking astronomers and everyone they know that stuff beyond the universe we've got telescopes that look out i don't know where brian cox someone knows did you all i'm saying is you thinking that infinite fucking thing just does earth no definitely something else just does but i don't think these fucking animals never gonna a safe line speed of light for 10 years and still not finding them that fucking big yeah but yeah that's true that a speed of light and you no what did you just say how many years don't know how many years they're on about thousands of years but you're flying for a thousand years a speed of light and you'd never get to it it's that big it's called infinity isn't it there's us lot and there's God that's it fuck me why what have I got into here there's us lot and God Paul Scholes who's God messy get on the fucking back of your football shirts right we're going to do it we're going to give a few awards out for the actual podcast here lads first one no surprises this is worst discipline award it's whoever Nicky or Paddy I can't work out which one discipline for lateness it's who lost the red most on the pod yeah it's Nicky yeah but that's not me but discipline has also been late yeah there's only one late person right we've got the nominees are Nicky's sausage roll incident I wasn't angry on a sausage roll at all Nicky getting banned from the tip I was angry with that one Nicky's skiing does he notice they're all Nicky's?

37:26exactly oh you've made one in not end Paul being accused of steaming your eggs you lost it a bit though but you have been remember last week we proved that they are steamed because he said it on the box he's done it again with the F again he's dropped the fucking F in in front of it again you can't stop yourself can't stop can he's so angry you can't stop yourself So, anywho, I'm just saying, only my opinion, the skiing was up there for me. He lost his mind when we said we could walk across the room in skis. He absolutely weighed the head. Definitely the skiing one. I mean, his head went on the Pictionary.

38:04But that's... I don't know what the fuck he did. Pictionary didn't draw anything. You had an absolute shocker on that. That should be an award on its own, that one. I've got no argument with that one. Shocker. I've got no argument with that. right so we're saying Nicky skiing yes yeah that's that's right that's that I was fucking right with that skiing here we go because I was right with that skiing because giving it that you can go and do the skiing it's easy and you can walk and you can't oh we're not going there again Nick yeah we can easily walk from there to there that's what it was easily you couldn't fucking do it anywhere with your skis on easily you'd just go like that oh go get some skis next week and we'll do it oh yeah we usually keep a set in the fucking side at Lansing.

38:45I mean, you keep falling over them. We know skis on, so what are you going to be doing? I'm telling you. Anyhow, we've covered that. He's got the award. Now, this one's... I'm not sure about this award. I think the wording's a little bit... They've... They're saying the most boring B-word award. And they've put on this... Nicky going to... I forgot about this. Nicky going to bed at five o 'clock on Christmas Day. What's wrong with that? which is that was bad that's outrageous what's wrong with that I don't even think it's boring that it's anti-social well my family weren't downstairs having a Christmas dinner and I fell off to bed it's Christmas day you just weren't going to bed I was at a time in my life when I was on my own so I went in sat in the upstairs couple of hours that was I went in seven minutes I sat upstairs you know you're just a bit tired from the night I had a few beers the night before it was a nice little cosy bed day only feels the nauseous was coming on so I thought I've got to get in bed I thought fuck it I'm not getting up nice chilled relaxed I always explain that now one side of it I can go with chilling out in your jammers but you do it on the couch on Christmas day five o 'clock yeah do you know what I don't like breaking my bed do you know what I mean not breaking do you know what I mean but uncuffing your sheets do you know what I mean until you go into bed do you know what I mean oh no I'm the other way I don't like that I like an unmade bed oh no oh no that's piquing oh yeah that's trash oh yeah that's awful no listen I'm not about a dirty bed Do you never make your bed then?

40:13Never. I make my bed. The first thing I do when I go to the toilet make my bed go downstairs and get a brew make my bed before I do anything. You know what that is? What in the morning? It's regimental that. If you've got if you wake your bed every morning it serves you great in life going forward. Fuck off. Why do you think why do you think why do you think he's seen that on summer. No no no. His ex Navy SEAL said he's gone I'm having a bit of that. That's what I'm saying. If you look at all if you look at all the Sergeant Bill's if you look at all the forces they make you make your bed the first thing you do when you wake up do you polish your boots as well I'll polish you in a minute do you polish your boots he doesn't he's gone for the one he likes you can't say anything that's a true thing did your mum and dad make you make your bed when you could before I went to school every day I'd have to make my bed did Reuben and Josie do it or did it well I'd try and tell them to do it yeah but fucking sometimes they don't but I did it I've got to say it's something about you know what it is for me it's all the pillars it's all the pillars and they're tucked in when I'm knackered at night I just want to flop into bed go out with me quilts it has to be clean but if I'm giving it taking all fucking pillars this is the thing though we have to have dress pillars do you know before when you were saying about the things that great on you I said petrol you said something do you know what I love no someone said what do you love I love getting into bed when it's been washed a clean bed from the day they've been made freshly clean bedding.

41:42Yeah. So there's not a lot of things I want in life. I've been very fortunate in life. I've got a lot of nice things. But if someone said, I'll come to your house and change your bed every single day, that'll be made for life. Do you know what I love? The old fabric softener, the smell. Get a cap full of that fucking comfort in. Apparently your bed smells like piss because you don't make it, you don't clean it. You don't even... This is where everything's been saying, totally out of context. I said I like getting into an unmade bed I didn't say the bed sheets are full of shit and piss the bed sheets are clean crisps no I don't eat in bed crisps and all I don't eat in bed I don't eat in bed don't eat in bed I've I'll tell you what I will have in bed a brew I'll have a brew in bed I'll have a brew in bed I'll have a cup of tea in bed yeah I do your worst mistake that but you've got to keep sitting up to drink it then you get back down oh no I sit up you breached up we stay set up all the way through right okay we've got funniest moments of the season this wasn't funny for me it feels a long time ago me getting cramp that's when we had Niall Horan on can't beat that you egged that a little bit though didn't you well I had cramp it's only because Niall Horan was there you want to get a picture of Niall get something for your Instagram picture he's fucking sat inside of me I've known him for years was he not doing your cramp your foot no you did it you did it very nicely as well and it did ease it up that.

43:07Cramp, Nicky playing Pictionary. Now, this is a popular one. Paul winning the egg off. What was the category, Paddy? I forgot. This is funniest moments. And a lot of our subscribers were saying, the look on your face was, you looked happier than when you won the Champions League when you beat him on the egg off. He still, I think still that's a flaw, that because it's been, as it's been proved over the last few weeks it wasn't by old it was steamed no I know it's steamed but there's no disputing the egg tasted nice that was the whole thing no it wasn't the whole thing was who boils egg better and there's one more involving you too it was your biggest fear when he said being alone yeah it's fucking rats being single being single

43:58I've got to say I feel like this has been an attack on me this last few years when he saw his face and he wrote rat oh yeah and he put his favourite word but he went fucking rats fucking rats no the best one for me has got to be the egg because I was convinced when you opened my eggs and you went oh they're oh I was delighted because I was on the side of boiling yeah golden balls had not won one and he beats me with his steamer and his lucky bastard he had no idea about that being like that you was nervous that you were nervous a bit you were well rewind the tape rewind the tape you were sweating you were sweating the only thing I got nervous about because it was taking ages yeah when it normally and that's why I fucking made this up no I was just waiting for it to talk to me do you know what yours took that long that I was convinced it was going to be hard boiled no it took that long that my ended up being fucking hard boiled because they kept cooking three minutes afterwards they'll check them out when they're ready well they weren't ready I took them out they're still cooking when you check them out the heat's still in them no you opened it straight away I didn't I promise you that hey you know you know a thing or two about food did you know that test about your steak how it's cooked yeah go on then well it's got medium well medium rare that's it isn't it fuck you you're going down your fucking fingers no your muscle there yeah it's like that watch watch watch that's rare no no no what is that's rare what was rare then that's the softest part of your fucking arm you start there well done and you go along your finger like that what feel your muscle yeah right now go to your next finger go tighter feel now go next finger go tighter say you're right Nick just say you're right Nick hey just say you're right Nick oh I don't get it hey he's fucking right I never knew that.

45:34Yeah, but what's it got to do with your steak? I never knew that. I thought you touched it. So, you know, everyone's, how do you like your steak? You go rare, medium, rare, all that. So you touch your last goal. So if you go like that, and touch your hand with that finger, that's soft. So what's that? Rare. And then if you change your finger, that's a bit tougher. Medium. So that's what you feel like if you were touching your steak. Then medium, well, and then well. bloody hell there you go I enjoyed that I am a fountain of useless knowledge for a certain amount of minutes so we're saying Paul winning the egg off yeah that's the funniest one also as well lads as we're coming to the end of the season we're doing the awards something I took a lot of flack for was when I said the duck in orange sauce at the Chinese duck au l 'orange you said yeah well duck au l 'orange duck in orange sauce you two said doesn't exist never heard of it paddy Wait there Stop saying Duck in orange sauce You didn't say that At the time You just said Duck in orange sauce What the fuck You're on I'm telling you Not to say it Because you didn't Say that At the fucking time Straight From the Chinese Around the corner Boys Yang sing Duck In orange sauce Pass me that bag One minute Paddy Pass me that bag One minute I'll put it here for you Seriously There you go

47:02oh he's a clever man he's a clever man now fork a piece there now I've never had it from this particular Chinese so let me have a little look oh no that looks good that lads this is duck in orange sauce get a little piece lads fucks that bit there on it oh that's fatty that yeah all right lovely he's getting the orange everything yeah slide over next i'll need a small bit lovely oh yeah nice is it has it got bone on that no i'll say him get it on like that he's gone up for receipts honey that is good actually very good you've just had duck and orange sauce lads ok this is the last time I'm going to say this Paul and then we're going to put it to bed for good for the future of our relationships go on you did say duck or l 'orange let's just get it out you did yes or no yes right that was the whole argument was it's not called duck or l 'orange no it wasn't that as it says on the receipt here it says barbecue roast duck in fresh orange sauce yeah so they've put it well they put it they make it yeah every Chinese says it different but no they don't you were saying you'd never heard of duck in orange sauce forget duck all orange you said you'd never heard of duck in orange sauce well there it is from the Chinese duck all orange anyway very good I'll have a bit more of that give it to me yeah I'll have a bit more of that it's lovely very nice isn't it do you like duck in orange sauce yes thank you do you it's just like duck with marmalade do you like it I want you you've fucking gone back for thirds because I've been starving here since 8 o 'clock I've been out to eat I've brought no food on for us although I wouldn't order it again though do you know what I think I would marmalade he would as well I wouldn't he would as well it's been awkward if it was on a thing though you know it's all out Aunt Lazy Susan you'd eat that no I'm telling you I'm not being an argumentative sod here I just think with it I like duck with plum sauce it always goes with plum sauce for me you know with the pancakes and stuff it doesn't taste right but you like it no I don't you don't like it he's fucking at it again with chopsticks are you you're supposed to pick them up with chops you're not sticking in the fucking thing look at that he loves it he can't get enough of it he's wafting it he can't get enough he really doesn't like it right that's all for this week's episode of the good the bad and the football powered by Midnight the betting app that's built different the lads are back on Monday I've got a little bit of summer on but you'll be joined by a very special guest chaps see you Monday not me, them