In short
The hosts debate Black Friday as a money-making scam that leads to waste, then run through chaotic “best bits” segments: rules for staying at a family batch (blackout after 7pm, worm sewage toilet buckets, cameras), COVID/flu jab queue stories, and a pet chat with odd advice. They also discuss “weird hobbies” (plane spotting, nose-picking collection, model trains, collecting old adult magazines) and a radio game about songs tied to Vietnam, ending in controversy over tenuous connections.
Guests/participants
No external guests; the episode features the regular hosts: Jase, Mike Minogue, and Keezy (plus “Pugson/Pugs” as a recurring character/voice in bits).
Key claims
Black Friday deals are fake; most purchases become landfill/ocean waste. Batch rules include feeding worm sewage and avoiding candles. COVID booster was free; flu jab cost $35. “Free Bird” is linked to Vietnam via Forrest Gump, but the connection is disputed.
Notable examples
Buying Christmas presents on Black Friday; steamer in both toilets; “worm squigglers” checked with a torch; dog perineum dragging blamed on worms; Keezy’s wife listens to the show daily; “Free Bird” vs “Know Your Enemy” vs “We’ve Got to Get Out of This Place” song choices.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VODebating Black Friday
0:08 to 2:41
A lively discussion about the merits and downsides of Black Friday shopping.
“I've had enough of the American bullshit.”
Rules for Jase's Batch
2:41 to 7:15
Jase sets rules and expectations for guests at his family batch.
“You're spending Valentine's Day at Jase's batch tonight.”
COVID and Health Updates
7:15 to 8:11
The hosts discuss recent health appointments and vaccinations.
“Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.”
Keezy's Wife and Podcast Listening
8:11 to 14:00
Keezy shares his wife's unexpected interest in their podcast, leading to humorous insights.
“That's a good thing to do, by the way, mate.”
Discussion on Keezy's Wife
14:00 to 16:28
The hosts discuss Keezy's wife's gym habits and the implications for Keezy.
“No, she doesn't want me to tidy anything up.”
Pet Chat: Dog Issues
16:28 to 21:05
The hosts dive into pet advice, discussing various issues related to dogs and cats.
“It's actually quite a prescient kind of situation, the old Pet Chat, because I've got a bit of an issue with my dog.”
Weird Hobbies
21:05 to 23:24
The conversation shifts to discussing weird hobbies, including plane spotting and collecting.
“Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.”
Keezy's Song Controversy
23:24 to 28:06
Keezy presents a song related to Vietnam, leading to a debate among the hosts about its relevance.
“and then I've knocked a hole in the wall, the wall that separates our bedroom and her bedroom.”
Debating Vietnam Songs
28:06 to 29:18
The hosts discuss songs associated with Vietnam and their cultural impact.
“it's usually songs that are involved in media about Vietnam, like films and stuff, right?”
Listener Call-Ins on Vietnam Songs
29:18 to 30:08
Listeners call in to share their favorite songs related to Vietnam.
“And that was played in a particularly famous movie about Vietnam.”
Show all 11 chapters
Controversy Over Choices
30:08 to 31:19
A heated discussion arises over the choices of songs and the implications for the competition.
“Sorry to disappoint you, Jason, but I'm going to go with Freebird as well.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:01Mike Minogue:The Horeki Big Show with Toledos. All the good stuff, no nasties. Try it today.
0:08Keyzie:Black Friday, yes or no? I'll give you my thoughts. I've had enough of the American bullshit. Can we just stop all this nonsense? Black Friday. I don't even know what Black Friday is. All I know is that bloody retail stores try and rip you to pieces, try and get all your cash and name it Black Friday, alright? That's how I stand on it. So you don't like Black Friday? No, I don't like Black Friday. Seems a little bit. Yeah. It's going to play the racism alarm there. Yeah. Not sure if it is racist, but just in case. Chase, man, what's your problem, brother? I don't want, you know, the Halloweens, all that sort of carry on, the Black Fridays.
0:46Keyzie:It's just an opportunity for companies to make money off us.
0:50Mike Minogue:But the thing with Black Friday. My wife loves them, by the way. She's going to be shopping all weekend. Well, firstly, my wife. Secondly, everything's on special on Black Friday. They're bullshit. It is. They say it's on special. They say it's on special, don't they, Jason? Yeah, they do, man. But it's not. And then I saw a study on this, and by a study I mean something on Instagram. Like a meme. It was a meme. And something like 80 % of the stuff bought on a Black Friday goes into your landfills, your oceans, your dolphins' mouths, that sort of thing. It is just crap. Because it's on sale, you think you need to buy it.
1:24But if it wasn't a Black Friday, you wouldn't go out and buy anything, would you? You're not getting any deals. you've been suckered. If you're going out there and you're buying stuff, everyone out there, listen to this. If you're buying stuff today, you're a sucker. You're a sucker.
1:36Mike Minogue:Well, hang on, because I bought quite a lot of stuff today. Well, there you go, Casey. No, you are a sucker. You're a sucker, Casey. You are a sucker. I'm just going to play this. Just because I felt like that was racist. I'm not sure if it was or not. But the reason you do your Black Friday sales is you buy all your Christmas presents on Black Friday. So you're right. No, Jase, I know you don't like getting your kids and stuff presents because you're not a very generous man. But what we do is we write a note like, Mum, what does she want for Christmas? Or what does she need? This, this, that you write all your ideas down.
2:07Mike Minogue:100 % little insulated water bottle. And then on Black Friday, you go through your list and you buy them all because they're all on special.
2:13Keyzie:They say they're on special. No, they are on special. Yeah, they do say they're on special. Yeah, they do say they're on special because they're on special. And this is the other thing that gets deep inside my goat as well. You tell it, sister. They go Black Friday that extends into Saturday, Sunday. Oh, that's true. Black three-day weekend. Yeah. One Black Friday is enough for me, thanks very much. I don't need two more Black Saturday and Sundays.
2:40Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. You're spending Valentine's Day at Jase's batch tonight.
2:48Keyzie:Can I just clarify something from the get-go here? It's not my batch, it's a family batch. Well, it's your family batch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's your batch. Yeah. How are you feeling about that, Pugson? I am over the moon excited, and I'm very grateful that you've given me the opportunity to go. Again, it's not me. It's my father-in-law. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm grateful that you made the connection. I'll pass it on to him. Thank you. But listen, I just wanted to sort of set down a few rules for when you go there. Obviously, certain things that need to happen. Yeah. My wife has written out all the instructions of what to do.
3:21Keyzie:She's drawn a beautiful map too, fellas. It's immaculate. Really? It is immaculately drawn. She loves a map drawing. Now, first and foremost, lights out at 7 o 'clock.
3:36Mike Minogue:Well, hang on. The show finishes at 7. So he won't have even left here yet.
3:40Keyzie:Yeah, so when you get there, don't turn any lights on. And why is that?
3:43Mike Minogue:Is that for, like, to not disturb local wildlife?
3:46Keyzie:Wildlife and also the local residents there. It's a complete blackout after 7. Oh. apart from the sun. That's right, because you're a candle guy anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But actually just on that, no candles. There's a lot of wood around. What about tea lights? Sure will be.
4:02Mike Minogue:Can I do a little jasmine?
4:03Keyzie:Definitely no tea lights because, you know, they're the sort of things you forget and then boom, the whole thing's burnt down.
4:10Mike Minogue:Can he use the torch on his phone? Oh, yeah.
4:14Keyzie:In an emergency, sure. Now there's two areas. Are you going to sleep in the sleep out or in the main body? Well, when we went last time, we slept in the sleep out.
4:27Mike Minogue:So we'd quite like to switch it up and go in the main area. There's two double beds. You've got like a little house here with a kitchen and stuff, double bed, and then another sleep out with a double bed and an ensuite. So you want to go main house. So it'll be, I'm assuming, Jase, the rules around that is because you'll be going out with your partner. Yes. But separate beds? Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Because you're not married, are you?
4:48Keyzie:Not yet. Yeah. If Pugs had it his way, they would be married by now. And absolutely, can I just say, I nearly forgot this. When you get there, could you do a steamer in both toilets because it's a worm sewage system? Right, okay. And they haven't been fed for ages, those bastards. They'll be starving. So if you could take a dump in each toilet, that would be good. So I need to do one in both? It needs to be the same dump from the same person in both?
5:11Mike Minogue:Your partner can do one in one and you can do one in the other. You can solo make yourselves. Let's not get bogged down in the bog. No, no, no, we're going to make sure because the worms do need to be fed because if they die, you've got to shovel it. It's a nightmare.
5:22Keyzie:You literally. And when I say toilets, it's like a bucket that's just in the corner of each bathroom. Oh, perfect.
5:29Mike Minogue:A nice bucket, though, like a really nice one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's one of those stainless steel.
5:33Keyzie:Can I just say, too, just on that front, the oven and so forth, that's not working at the moment. But the barbecue is, and if you could pick up a gas bottle on the way, you'll be fine.
5:46Mike Minogue:Like refill? Right.
5:47Keyzie:The existing one or pick up a brand new one? No, you'll have to pick up a brand new one because we don't have one down there at the moment. Is there somewhere close by to do that? Oh, you'll find it. Also, my wife and I were there last and we forgot to take the rubbish. So if you could just get rid of the rubbish because it'll be a bit stinky when you get in there. Can I just take it with my rubbish at the end? Oh, you'll need to put it out because it'll reek by the time you get in there. Where did you leave it? Just in the kitchen. Just sitting in the middle of the kitchen? Yeah, and it's got cottage cheese and that sort of stuff in it.
6:20Keyzie:Also, I feel it's good to let you know, because I know what you like. What? That there are cameras in every room. So just tone back the - What, even the bathrooms? Yes, just tone down the - Especially the bathrooms. The pugs aren't sort of normal action that you'd get up to over the weekend. I'm not sure what you mean.
6:40Mike Minogue:Jase, are the cameras there for security? Absolutely, yeah. So it's like a safety thing.
6:48Keyzie:But also, I want you to be reassured that my wife and I will be watching you, so you're not going to be alone if you're getting in any trouble. In that case, he should probably leave the lights on. I actually do leave the lights on. You do. When I get there? The whole time. And just on that, actually, you guys are going to be in the sleep out there because my wife and I will be in the main sort of part of the batch. A little foursome.
7:10Mike Minogue:That's great. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Over the weekend, I went to get me yelled, COVID booster shot. You're joking. You heard about that, Keezy? COVID? What's that? It's full on, man. Is it? I'll tell you what. Yeah, give it a Google. You'll be shocked. Righto. And I got my flu jab as well. Oh, good on you, mate. The COVID shot was free. Right. and the flu shot was$35. Hell of a line down there, hell of a queue. They were busy as. Yeah, I can imagine. So I stole heaps of hand moisturiser creams and that, lovely creams and that they've got down there.
7:50They're never keeping an eye on you because I think sort of an older gentleman like me with the old salt and pepper in his hair. Yes. I had my daughter with me, nothing to worry about. Wrong. Yeah, well, she's just a good cover, isn't she? Oh, yeah, she is. You're amazed how many bars of soap you can fit up her top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heaps.
8:07Mike Minogue:Or you can put a little backpack on her and put it all in there. Keezy, you can do whatever you want with your own kids, all right? Yeah, just don't let you sleep. Moe yous out of it.
8:13Keyzie:Just on the booster shot. That's a good thing to do, by the way, mate. Of course, I had 18 shots, so I'm boosted still up to the eyeballs. Oh, up to the wazoo, yeah. So they said, no, just go easy on that. You're not addicted to getting any. Well, I had a bit of an issue, actually, when I was down there, seeing the old doctor. Yes. And that was that, you know, I've been on this workout regime lately. It's been going for four weeks now. It's going quite good. Yeah. and he was trying to put the old needle in my arm and it'd just keep bending the bastard. Yeah, right. And he said to me, he says to me, he says, hey, Mogi, have you been working out, brother?
8:46He called you Mogi. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He goes. And he's, have you been working out? I said, well, actually, I have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I talked to him for about an hour about everything I've been up to and that. And he said, I'm actually going to have to find a bigger needle.
9:01Keyzie:Right. Because you are just, because he went through 18 in the end, just trying to get through nothing, and didn't even pierce his skin. Well, it's like trying to inject concrete, isn't it? That's right. Or steel. When I rode bitch with you the other day, I rode bitch with you the other day, Moggy. Yeah. And I did the koala beer there riding bitch with you on the bike there. Yeah. It was like, seriously, Kesey, it was like holding a cement block. He was so hard. That's right. Yeah. It was like spooning with Michelangelo's David. Yes. Right. Only with a bigger piece. Yeah.
9:33Mike Minogue:Doesn't he have like a cabbage leaf, David? where his piece used to be? No, he has a tiny piece. Oh, yeah, cool, cool. The old button mushroom, mate.
9:42Keyzie:Button mushroom. But, yeah, managed to get through there in the end. Had to go into my jugular. Right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, just be careful. Anybody out there that's been doing heaps of tin pushing like you, Jase, because I thought about you immediately. I thought, oh, well, jeez, Jase is going to have the same problem as me. Yeah. Without a doubt. Without a doubt.
9:59Mike Minogue:It just seems a bit weird that a doctor could have... I know that you're pretty buff at the moment, and you're looking grouse and you're a rogue stallion and all that, then you're a huge backbone. But I feel like a doctor would still be able to inject you. Are you sure it was a real doctor? Yes, Keezy. Right. What was he wearing?
10:15Keyzie:The only weird thing I find about it, because I can totally see that happening, all of my injections are in the ass that I had. What kind of injections? Mostly in the arm, yeah. So generally they try and get into a muscle. They're just like, good luck. Yeah, nice. Sorry. No, for me it's always the ass or the testes. Yeah, well, yeah. And same problem.
Read the full transcript
10:37Mike Minogue:What, you can't get into your testes?
10:38Keyzie:Trying to get it in there. Oh, the testes, yeah. Yeah, they're like. Well, that's some of the. Little boulders of rock.
10:48That's pretty smooth skin to be trying to get into with the old needle. You should be all right there, actually, Keezy.
10:55Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah? Yeah. Wow.
10:58Keyzie:I mean, I'm looking at Keezy's chicken wing arms there. Should be sweet, eh? Should be sweet, eh? Actually, the doctor said to tell you he's got a couple of tickets for you for the next home game.
11:09Mike Minogue:Oh, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why was he? Hang on. What was he wearing? Warriors jersey. The doctor? Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Kesey. Fellas, just quickly, I need to ask you guys a favour. Sure, man. Fire away, Kesey. Anything for you, man. You know that. I've learnt something pretty disturbing about my wife. Oh, no, she's a shocker. Well, hang on. I don't want to have to be the one to tell you. Do we really want to talk about this on air, though? Yeah, it is.
11:38Keyzie:You know what I mean? Because I've learned some pretty disturbing things about it, too. Okay, far away. It's best to have this stuff out in the open. Yeah.
11:47Mike Minogue:Well, this particular thing. I mean, what are you talking about? Oh, well, another time. Okay. This particular thing. It'll be the same thing. There's no way it could be something else. No. This is to do with on air. That's why I brought it up on air. I thought it was more online. Okay. Yep. No. What's he talking about? Nothing. So she has recently decided to stop playing netball. She used to play it all the time, training all the time, doing sprints up and down the court and playing top-level netball. That's cool. Because she likes to stay in shape, hey? She does like to stay in shape, Jase. Better shape than I am, that's for sure.
12:24Mike Minogue:Don't be like that, man. You're in great shape. Thanks, man. Well. She's now started to go to the gym a lot more. Oh, yeah. Right? So we're talking six days a week. That sort of started around about that time she ran to that woman in the changing room.
12:38Keyzie:Yeah, is this going to be threesome chat, Kesey?
12:40Mike Minogue:No, it's not threesome chat. Have you got a sting for that, Pugs? This is such an old... Okay, I wish it was threesome chat. So she's now going six times. Before she was going like maybe three times a week, but then mixing it up with netball stuff. Now it's just the gym. And as a result of that, she has said to me, I've run out of podcasts to listen to. So I've started listening to your one, the big show. Oh. So she listens to our show. Not your gaming one? No, not the gaming one and extremely casual gamers. That's crazy. She has started listening to our show every single day and is now pulling me up on stuff.
13:11Mike Minogue:Is that because you can't get enough Keezy? Well, I'd like to think that. But she goes, oh, wow, I didn't realise how much you talk about me. And so what I need from you guys is just a bit of an agreement that moving forward we'll just be conscious of the fact that Keezy's wife is listening. Yes. We'll just sort of, you know, tidy things up a wee bit. You know what I mean? Well, I mean, look, the thing about Liz, I feel like the podcast is our safe place. Yes. That's where we can be ourselves. And obviously that's where you feel like you can be yourself, hence why you're always dragging your missus.
13:47And so it's not so much a matter of us tidying it. I mean, I don't know what goes on at your house outside of all of the things that you tell us. and she tells me in our nightly phone calls.
13:57Mike Minogue:But I don't think they're that bad is the thing. Did you have any examples? Of what? Of the stuff she wants you to tidy up. No, she doesn't want me to tidy anything up. I'm just saying, fellas, now that she's listening, can we just not make jokes about, oh, Kesey's missus has got something going on online.
14:12Keyzie:It's funny because I'm comforted by the fact that my wife would never listen to a podcast I'm in. Right. Yeah. has no interest whatsoever.
14:25Mike Minogue:I know, and I remember the days when I was like you where I could just bag my missus on the air and not worry about it like you do, but I'm just at a point now where I can't. Sure. So for the next wee while, I won't be like Hoity J just firing off at the hip about the wife.
14:38Keyzie:I would be more concerned. Right, yeah. About the fact that she's going to the gym six nights a week.
14:45Mike Minogue:Don't put little inverted commas on that. She is, man. But also, oh, yeah, you've got your tracking device on her.
14:56Keyzie:A lot of good-looking fellows at the gym. Oh, yeah. That working out, too. And, you know, when you went to the gym for that two weeks, Keezy, you were talking about all the guys heading on all the women there and how it disgusted you. That's right. You know, your wife's an attractive woman. She's in shape. This is weird. You're going to start going to the gym, Jase. I'd be more concerned about that, actually. Mike and I are very respectful of her and our chats
15:26Mike Minogue:As long as you're not talking about her cake And by that I mean her The cake that she baked three years ago
15:38Mike Minogue:All I'm saying fellas is just can we keep it in mind and just I think so man All we can do is do our best
15:47Keyzie:Exactly and sometimes you know what it's like when you're just chatting away there stuff comes out and the problem is it's like that swearing thing that you buggered up yesterday Jase you know you get people you get somebody telling you not to do something all of a sudden you're doing it yeah it's in my head now yeah okay well it's totally in my head right when we do the podcast it's going to be all I'm going to be thinking about is Keezy's wife but what are you going to say about it well I don't know
16:16Mike Minogue:okay cheers fellas this has been really helpful The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Pet Chat.
16:31Keyzie:With Jase and Mike.
16:40Yeah.
16:41Keyzie:It's actually quite a prescient kind of situation, the old Pet Chat, because I've got a bit of an issue with my dog. Oh, yeah. With her leg. Do you need any advice? Oh, no, mate. You know, I've taken it into my own hands. I found out the cost of the operation. I went, bugger that. Yeah. I've got some tools that I can use there and whip it off. Yeah.
17:00Mike Minogue:A lot of texts coming in on 3483. Questions with pet advice needed. And don't forget, every text that comes through goes in the drawer for BK. Question number one. Hey, fellas. How do I get my dog to stop dragging his boulos along the ground?
17:13Keyzie:Well, first and foremost, it's not his boulos. It's his perineum. which is his bum. Yeah, his bunghole. It's kind of the space between the bullos and the nuss. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, and I do that all the time. Nothing wrong with it. In my experience, when my dog does it, it's because it's got worms. Right, okay. And they get particularly itchy because they come out for a geese every now and again. Yeah, they have a little gander, don't they? Yeah, yeah, they have a geese around in that. And actually, just on that front, Mogey, if you want to find out, you get the old torchlight. Oh, yeah, you do.
17:43Keyzie:Yeah, and they come squiggling out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get the tweezers out there. Whenever we have mates over, we shine a light now that pops up. Yeah, yeah. It's like a bit of magic there. So what will help with that is a bit of worm treatment, but it can be expensive, so flag it. But having said that, it does feel good. Oh, God, that's a lot. Especially if you've got some of that Cavalier Bremworth carpet. Yes. You get that along the nuts. That's the rhino stuff, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What I really like is a doormat at the front of my house. Because that, you know, it's so satisfying.
18:16Keyzie:Wait, so do you have one? Nail brushes. Yes. You know, for cleaning out your nails there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good stiff bristles on those bastards.
18:23Mike Minogue:Ah, g'day, fellas. My cat won't keep his poos in the litter box. He runs out straight away afterwards and does zoomies, and it goes flying everywhere. Does zoomies? Please help. What is a zoomie?
18:34Keyzie:I think a zoomie is that the defecation has only been half projected out, and they think they're finished, and they just sort of zip out, and as they're running around, the tube escapes.
18:47Mike Minogue:Yeah, that's right. So what do you do there?
18:49Keyzie:I've not heard of that one. You got any experience with that, Chase? Oh, no, not really. Just outside cat.
18:55Mike Minogue:Outside cat, right. Actually, speaking of, g'day, fellas. My cat was hit by a car last night and appears to be off his food and isn't moving as he normally would. Any advice? Yeah, it's dead. Yeah. It's dead. That's how you can tell with a cat. If it's not moving. And not eating. It's dead. Yeah. G'day, fellas. As my cat keeps shredding toilet rolls and I'm struggling to put food on the table now because I'm spending so much on bog roll, what do I do?
19:19Keyzie:I steal mine from work. The bog roll? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, wouldn't you stop cat? Whenever I go to McDonald's, I get toilet paper. Whenever I'm at any kind of takeaway joint, I'll get myself the toilet paper. I'll get myself the tomato sauce, the salts, the peppers, straws. You can never have too many straws. Yeah, fair call. The napkins are generally in better nick there than the old toilet paper, to be fair. So you steal. Wouldn't you just teach your cat not to do it? Oh. You can't teach a cat anymore.
19:47Mike Minogue:No, the cats don't listen to you, mate. Right, okay. They don't speak English. Honestly, man. Better try to herd cats, Keezy. No, of course not. Yeah. Actually, that could be a good saying. Yeah, write that down, would you? Yeah, okay. G'day, guys. My bantam cock is shedding feathers and is starting to dribble. What's happening? What's happening with what? is Bantam is shedding feathers and starting to dribble. Oh, well, it could be getting old. That sounds like an age thing. Often you find it better. You remember I had cocky by cockatiel. Yes. It was highly stressed out. And so that started losing all its feathers until it was bald as a badger.
20:26It was a completely nude cockatiel. Right. God, it looked funny, though.
20:31Keyzie:Yeah, it was funny. I remember you said any pics of it, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's got a kind of crockpot feel about it to me. Yeah, right. Yeah, often the easiest way to solve a problem is to kill it. Yeah, I see. And it's only a chicken. You know what I mean? Right. And when I say only a chicken, I mean it's only a chicken. And I've been taught how to do that very quickly and effectively. Swirly, swirly. Can I leave it at that?
20:54Mike Minogue:Right, okay. If you put it in the crock pot. Why, you want to kill it. Does it become the cock pot?
20:59Keyzie:Oh, God. Oh, man.
21:02Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
21:08Keyzie:We're talking Keezy's wife's weird hobbies. No, we're just talking weird hobbies. Oh, sorry.
21:13Mike Minogue:I don't want her to feel bad about her hobby. No, look, it's great. I'm all for it. And just to recap what it is, she likes plane spotting. Not full-blown plane spotting, like go park up at the airport and watch planes land. But she loves to, when a plane's flying overhead, go, oh, that's an M3, whatever, and then guess where it's going to, where it's come from, and then we'll check the app, and then we go, oh, you were correct, it is from Melbourne. So good, man. Thanks, Chase.
21:35Keyzie:Angus from Westport. How's life, you mad bastard?
21:38Mike Minogue:Yeah, good, mate, good.
21:40Keyzie:Yeah, what's your weird hobby?
21:42Mike Minogue:I like picking other people's noses, bro.
21:44Keyzie:Oh, yeah.
21:44Mike Minogue:I'm in a collection.
21:45Keyzie:Oh, right, picking other people's noses, did you say?
21:48Mike Minogue:Yeah, picking it.
21:49Keyzie:Oh, yeah. Right.
21:51Mike Minogue:Eat it? Yeah, well, no, I collect it. Right, so do you have any notable people's bogeys on your collection or what? Oh, it's a small town, mate, so I've basically got everyone, actually. Yeah, cool. Right, everyone at Westport, good stuff, mate. Can you give that guy a$50 night and day, Brad? Definitely. Go down and get some antiseptic for your fingers there, you sicko. Hey, man, but we can't yuck other people's yums, Minogi. Who says? Well, you're right, actually. I don't know who says that, man. Of course we can.
22:21Keyzie:Speaking of weird hobbies, I mean, I don't know if it qualifies as a weird hobby, but, you know, you love your trains, your model trains, Mogey. I do. I do love my model trains. But I think for it to be weird, there has to be like nobody's really doing it. It's really niche. like, you know, in Keezy's missus. Well, you wear the weird conductor's hat and stuff. But it's not weird, though, is it? Because it's unique to conductors. So it's a hat that conductors wear. So it's not weird, it's what they wear.
22:49Mike Minogue:Jase, I feel like you're really having a go at people for having these hobbies. I'm all about acceptance.
22:54Keyzie:Oh, look, I told you about my duck plates.
22:56Mike Minogue:No, that's your wife's hobby. I'm not one to judge, man. Your wife likes duck plates, which, by the way, for those just joining, are plates with little ducks painted on them. But, Mogi, genuinely, you have your model train room. I do. So how much line are you running in there, train line? It's probably three and a half K now. And that's all in the size of just your normal sort of, well, it was my daughter's bedroom, but she's out on the couch now. We've got a fold-out couch in the lounge, so she's in there. Fair enough. And what I've done is, so I've got it in her bedroom, and then I've knocked a hole in the wall, the wall that separates our bedroom and her bedroom.
23:34Sure. So the train now has got a tunnel. You love tunnels, eh? Yeah. I do. It goes through the tunnel and then into our room and sort of goes. So when you're lying in bed, well, when we're lying in bed, I can look up and it's got the train goes all the way around the top of the eaves, I guess you'd call it, up there by the ceiling there, and then back out. So it sort of does the route right the way around the house. It takes it seven and a half minutes to do the full house there. Oh, that's awesome, man. See, that's cool. So there's a difference between weird and the things that losers do and cool shit.
24:08Mike Minogue:Yeah. Like, for example, someone here on 3483, I buy and flip sports cards for profit. Yeah, I mean, that's weird.
24:15Keyzie:You were saying off here, Keezy, that you've got back into collecting old penthouses. Like classic ones. Yeah, and Playboys.
24:24Mike Minogue:Yeah, well, there's just a massive market.
24:25Keyzie:Well, it is at your house, yeah. It is. I mean, you know. There's a huge audience for it at your house. Because it's one of those things that people probably just go online if they're that way inclined, but you like actual, the physical collecting of the magazines. That's right, because you're saying that it's...
24:42Mike Minogue:Okay, trade boy, what? That you can't search your history. Like on the laptop, there's just so much, you know, the search history gets clogged up, but if you've just got a suitcase full of penthouses underneath your bed... Well, that's right. You know, my laptop barely runs anymore. You know what I mean?
24:57Keyzie:Well, I mean, funnily enough, someone came up to me the other day and said they saw you in a second-hand shop going through the beaded curtain. Is there a beaded curtain at a second-hand shop? Well, a lot of them have those if you're going into, if they've got, like, porno mags, like your penthouses, your playboys. At a second-hand shop?
25:13Mike Minogue:Really? Yeah, yeah, totally, man. Oh, man, I don't know anything about it. Oh, okay. Well, what's the earliest one you've got? I think I've got one from 1912. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was the theme in the centrefold of that one? It was probably a bit later than that, actually. The theme was the Great Depression.
25:33Couldn't afford clothes
25:36Mike Minogue:And there's
25:51Keyzie:been some controversy Controversy The theme today is Vietnam And Keezy's song and his relation to the theme is so tenuous that we felt it was important to bring in Pug-san to decide whether or not he should be disqualified. Before that, though, Keezy wants to plead his case. And this is a new turn of events, isn't it? We've decided that Pug-san should come in and be the adjudicator because you and I, Jase, we can't really be... You're not neutral on this. We can't be neutral. We can't be impartial. Thank you, Pug-san. Keezy, off you go, mate.
26:28Mike Minogue:Right, so the song I chose, just for everyone out there listening, is Free Bird by Lennon Skinner. Here's a wee snippet.
26:36Keyzie:Yeah, we all know our sound.
26:43Mike Minogue:So that bit there, that iconic bit there, in the movie Forrest Gump, while he's in Vietnam, Jenny is on the balcony. She's taking drugs. She's tripping. She's about to jump off. Jenny, she decides not to. It's while he's in Vietnam. That happens. She is a hippie protesting. It all happens at the same time. What was the reason why, the original reason why you chose the song, though? Oh, that was just a yarn I was playing, man. No, what was it? What was the original reason? Okay, the reason why I chose Free Bird by Lennon Skinner is because, just like Jay's talking about his trip to Vietnam, we've all heard it a million times and it bangs on forever.
27:22So, to me, my comment that I'd make about that is, that's not related to Vietnam, that's related to Jase. Jase goes on. It's got nothing to do with Vietnam. About Vietnam. About his trip.
27:34Mike Minogue:Hang on, I thought you were meant to be about his trip to Vietnam. Can I just say this?
27:38Keyzie:No, you can't because it's Pugs' trip. I know, but I just want to say this. Sure. I remember, you remember my famous tune, Swing. Oh, yeah. And I said, because it makes me want to swing my hips. Yeah, because it's my last time going away on holiday when I walk out, I'll be swinging my hips.
27:55Mike Minogue:Jase, that was a shocker. Over to you, Pugs. Right. On the basis, when I think of songs that invoke the feelings of Vietnam or that remind me of Vietnam, it's usually songs that are involved in media about Vietnam, like films and stuff, right? And when I think of other tunes that I know, you using the Forrest Gump line, that has more weight than your shit yarn about Jase. Well, I was just trying to make it hilarious because we're on the radio, meant to be entertaining. On the basis that it was used in a piece of media about Vietnam. Well, on the basis that he's saying that it was. No, 100 % it is.
28:29Mike Minogue:I'm not even lying, it is. Someone's also texted in about it too.
28:32Keyzie:Okay, on that basis. That's how you got the information. It's going to fly. It's going to fly. That is a shocking decision. It's going to fly. And also, I like the controversy. Can I also say then, if he wins, that has an asterisk. Yeah, 100%.
28:46Mike Minogue:100 % it has an asterisk. But you're not disqualified. Yes.
28:49Keyzie:Okay, well, let's go to the final start. Good on your folks. Oh, no, well, let's hear. People need to hear what we chose. Mogi, you went with this. Yes, I did. Pretty tenuous, if you ask me. Pretty tenuous sort of thing, too, but anyway.
29:04Mike Minogue:So, Know Your Enemy by Rage. There is a monk in Ho Chi Minh City. On the front cover of the album. On the debut album of Rage Against the Street. Also, Know Your Enemy, you know, it's a little bit, you know, it's a bit of a Vietnam War theme there as well. Jase went for the animals. We've got to get out of this place. Is this about Vietnam?
29:21Keyzie:And that was played in a particularly famous movie about Vietnam. Really? Yes.
29:26Mike Minogue:In this dirty old part of the city. How about the animals, by the way?
29:32Keyzie:Let's go to the phone lines. G'day, Dan, you mad bastard. How's life?
29:36Mike Minogue:Oh, g'day.
29:39Keyzie:G'day, Dan, you're back, though. What are you running with, Dan?
29:44Mike Minogue:100 % got to be Keezy every time. One of the greatest songs of all time. Get on you, Dan, you mad bastard.
29:52Keyzie:Hayden, you mad bastard. Come on, mate.
29:55Mike Minogue:Good day, Flavius. How are you? Yeah, good.
29:57Keyzie:Good, thanks, Hayden.
29:59Mike Minogue:I'm surprised no one went for Born in the USA, and on that I'm going to go for Jase, because did you know he went to Vietnam?
30:06Keyzie:Oh, God, don't you start banging on that. Get on you, Hayden, you backbone. Nick, you mad bastard. How's life?
30:13Mike Minogue:Yeah, not bad.
30:15Keyzie:Get on you, mate. Yeah, good, Nick, good. What do you do for a crust, mate?
30:21Mike Minogue:Construction manager. Oh, yeah. Backbone. No nonsense. He's no nonsense, man.
30:26Keyzie:What are you running with there, Nick?
30:29Mike Minogue:Sorry to disappoint you, Jason, but I'm going to go with Freebird as well. The biggest asterisk of all time. Oh, my God. Thank you so much, Nick. You're a backbone, man. That is a shocker. I blame pugs. I blame pugs, too. That is a disgrace. That is a shocker.
30:44Keyzie:That is disgusting. Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. You have chosen that song, Keezy, having no idea that it had anything to do with Forrest Gump. You've chosen it for a reason. Then you've absolutely pulled the wool over Pugs' eyes by doing a Google search and hoping for the best. It makes a mockery of this competition. It makes a mockery of you, Jase. It makes a mockery of me. It makes a mockery of the throbber. But more than anything, it makes a mockery of Pugs. Yeah, I'm not talking to Pugs for a week.
31:15Mike Minogue:The best part about this song It goes on forever and we've heard it a million times Just like Jase talking about Vietnam The Hauraki Beat Show With Jase, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 On Radio Hauraki
From the publisher
The fellas are on leave for the week, so enjoy a mixed bag of bits hand-plucked by Producer Pugs. We'll see you backbones on full on Monday, May 25th!
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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.
Providing a hilarious escape from reality for those ‘backbone’ New Zealanders with plenty of laughs and out-the-gate yarns.
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