BEST BITS: What's On The What?

0:01The Hauraki Big Show with Toledos. All the good stuff, no nasties. Try it today. Fellas, I was doing a little bit of reading. I tell a lie. Something came up on my Instagram feed. I was doing a bit of reading. That was so close. That's not true at all. And this thing that it was banging on about led me to do a little bit of research on the old interweb there. And what this fella was saying was, and I didn't know this, I don't know how I didn't know this, But alcohol is a group one carcinogen, a carcinogen being something that gives you cancer.

0:34Mike Minogue:Right. Group one being the most cancerous of the groups, Kesey. Right, sounds bad. And what it was saying was if you have a bottle of wine, just one, so just a standy sort of Tuesday evening, just you on your own watching telly, Kesey. Yeah, that sounds fine. Is the equivalent of smoking five cigarettes if you're a man or smoking 10 cigarettes if you're a whoman. Well, I think that's a bit sexist, don't you think? Yeah, I know. Well, tell the cancer. Yeah, I mean, the cancer doesn't care, Keesey. That's not the worst thing about the cancer, Keesey. No, I know. The worst thing about the cancer is it kills millions and millions of people.

1:09No, no, no, I know. The fact that it's sexist is probably admirable compared to some of its other personality traits. You're right, actually. I think you're missing the main point. You're right, it is admirable. It's a murderer and you're worried about it being sexist. You see what I'm saying? No, you're right.

1:19Mike Minogue:I think you're getting distracted.

1:20Keyzie:Yeah, totally, you are. Just get a crack, Keezy.

1:23Mike Minogue:I admire the sexism. You're right. It is admirable. Yeah, thank you.

1:26Keyzie:So back in the day then when I was drinking four bottles of wine and smashing two packs of Darys. Yes. So what's that? Responsibly? That's 60 Darys a night. Well, I don't know. I think if you drink a bottle of wine, and that means it's five cigarettes for us as men. Yes.

1:43Mike Minogue:Still seems a bit sexist. It is sexist, because we should get ten cigarettes. Why do they get all the cigarettes? Yeah, exactly. But if I'm drinking a bottle of wine and that's like smoking five cigarettes, If I smoke five cigarettes, I think then they cancel each other out. Yeah, totally. Well, hang on. Are you sure that's how it works? Because I don't know anything about it. Yeah, well, that's the thing. You don't. Can I preface it just by saying I don't know anything about it, but it seems like you'd be adding to the total, not taking away from the total.

2:05Keyzie:No, I think it does work like that. It's a weird thing where they cancel each other out. It is a weird thing. You know when you multiply a negative in a negative?

2:14Mike Minogue:Oh, anything by Z.

2:15Keyzie:Yeah, you're right. And it equals a positive. I think this is one of those instances. So it becomes a good thing. Yeah, so it's like when I was smoking, say, 40 durries a day or at night and having four bottles of wine, I'm actually coming out on the positive there because the 40 durries are cancelling out the 20 durries from the wine. That's right. So it's almost like I'm going to the gym. Yes. You know what I mean?

2:39Mike Minogue:So the important thing is to go to bed on zero or in the positive. Yes. Right. And do you just not drink wine if wine's so bad for you? I think it's specifically wine is the problem here. When I start drinking, I'm going to go back to probably beers. Because beers aren't carcinogens? Well, it doesn't say anything. It specifically says here, drinking a bottle of wine is the equivalent to smoking five cigarettes for men or ten cigarettes for women. No mention of any other alcohol. So all women should not be allowed to drink wine because it's so bad for them. Well, I'll be honest, that sounds a little bit sexist from you, Casey.

3:12That's shocking, Casey. That's terrible.

3:13Mike Minogue:No, it's just... Really bad.

3:15Keyzie:Well, if they don't have a bottle of wine, they need to smoke ten durries. Yeah, sure. I don't know why he goes straight to the sexes. I'm sorry, fellas.

3:23Mike Minogue:I misread the situation.

3:24Keyzie:There was a touch of racism in there too, I thought. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

3:33Mike Minogue:Now, this does involve golf, but I promise you it's not about golf stuff. It's about an ethical dilemma. So played with Manai Stewart from The Breakfast Show, Hoity Jane, another friend of ours guy, and we were all standing off to the side of the tee box. Minaya's admittedly a little bit in front of the tee box, but you'd have to be pivot 90 degrees to get anywhere near us. I'm leaning on my driver. Hoity J is standing a foot away from me, so it's shoulder to shoulder pretty much. Has he got his hand around you, his arm? No, but he probably could have it on my left shoulder if he was standing on my left side.

4:08Mike Minogue:That's how close he was. Minaya tees off. The ball shoots directly at us at shin height. Full pace. Full pace. How has it managed to get towards you? Oh, terrible at golf. It's just a freak of nature. It just hit the heel of his club, shot at us. There's three of us standing in a line. I'm leaning on my club. I hear Jase go, ah, and like go for cover. I'm like, oh, my God, it's hit Jase. I then look down and realize the ball has flown through and hit the shaft of my club. Hit your shaft. Has hit my shaft and has snapped my club in two. Wow. Now, admittedly, the only thing skinnier than the shaft was probably Hoardy J's legs, but it managed to hit the second skinniest thing in that line.

4:48Mike Minogue:Yeah. Snap it in half. It was a freak accident. Minaya, to his credit, was straight away like, oh, just find that club on Trade Me and I'll just buy it for you. Yeah. But I'm like, but it was like an accident, you know? Yeah. The issue I'm having is, do I find the exact same club and make him pay full price for it? You know what I mean? What's your vibe on it?

5:05Keyzie:Can I just do a very brief deviation sidebar here? before he played the shot, Mogi, on my life. I, in my head, went, this is going to come straight at us.

5:20Mike Minogue:He was aiming sort of towards us.

5:22Keyzie:And bang, the very next second, it just, it was a freakish moment and then snap, snap, his golf club.

5:30Mike Minogue:I thought it had, like, broken your leg or something. Yeah, it was ridiculous. You must think that every time he tees off, though, it just happens that this time you're right, which is what makes it memorable.

5:40Keyzie:That's fair. But no, this was a very clear, it's going to come straight at us. I don't know where it came from. I think probably because you've got, you know. I'm clairvoyant. Yeah, I think. Is that the point of this break? Is that you're clairvoyant? No, I think in terms of the dilemma. I mean, it is his fault. It is, right, but it's a freakish. He should get you another one. I think going halves would be the goal. It's not his fault, but it is his fault. And it's like, can you make him pay for the whole, I don't know. Is he right? Yeah, I think so. Because I was like... I don't think it's right that he buys a whole new thing because it was an accident, but at the same time, if he wasn't there, you'd still have a club.

6:19I'd still have a club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So why should you have to pay for it? I shouldn't have to pay anything.

6:23Keyzie:You're not accounting for the fact that he works in breakfast either. Well, that's a text here.

6:27Mike Minogue:Already on 3483 Make and Pay. He's on breakfast radio money, so he can definitely afford it. Yeah. I mean, compared to what we get. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. But the obvious thing to do here is whoever wins the relay pays for the club. You can have a side bet. But I shouldn't have to pay for the whole club. Well, you might have to pay for none of it. Yeah, but it could be like if we win, you pay for the whole club. If you guys win, you just pay for half, but I'll pay the other half. Right. You know? Yeah. But 3483, let us know you're – But there's no double or nothing in it for him then.

7:01There's only double and something. So why is he going to take that bet?

7:05Mike Minogue:Because he's already offered to buy the whole thing out. Ah, right. Okay. Well, if he's already beat, I'll take it. Because I'm not going to be like, man, it was a one in a million shot. You know what I mean? Yeah. But also, if he wasn't there, I'd still have a sweet golf club. Yeah. 3483, by the way, feel free to give your opinion on this spicy matter. The Hauraki Beat Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

7:30Keyzie:Hey, I tell you what I did, fellas, yesterday. Go on. I got some security cameras put on the exterior of my house there. Oh, yeah? Yeah, well, this is... Did you put them on yourself? Oh, yeah, totally, of course. Yeah, good, I was going to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't want to get anybody around to do that, mate. Mate, you know, this is the thing about all the work experience I've had in my life. I don't need tradies and stuff like that. No, no. You know, roofing, whatever, painting. I just do it all myself, installing my own kitchen. The way I look at it is, if they can do it, I can do it.

7:55Totally, mate. What brand cameras were they?

7:58Keyzie:You know, as long as I can see someone doing it one time, I go, okay, okay, that's...

8:04Mike Minogue:That's how you do it. What was that, Keezy? Sorry. What brand cameras were they?

8:08Keyzie:The ones, what do you mean, brand?

8:11Mike Minogue:Did you go and buy them? And when you bought them, what did they say on the box? What brand?

8:16Keyzie:Exterior house cameras. Keezy's all about the brands. Oh, yeah, I don't care about brands, Keezy. Because Keezy loves wearing his country road and all this cool stuff. He does, doesn't he? Loves getting the old fade hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Caps on the piss and that. nicely ironed t-shirts and stuff. Ripped jeans. But anyway, your cameras. So I set it up, mate. Jeez, last night was a revelation, I tell you. Yeah. No surprise to tell you old Kim.com. Rummaging around there. Back in your bins, was he? Yeah, back in the bins. What's he looking for in there? I don't know, mate, to be honest. He's lost a lot of weight.

8:51Keyzie:Has he? But he just sort of rummages around and he just sort of fartasses around the place. He doesn't really do anything. Yeah, right. He just sort of stares vacantly. You know, people love bins. Some people love bins. There's a lot of mystery in a bin. What's in there, we don't know. What's in Hoity J's bins? Mate, when I was doing that, when I was undercover and stuff, that was the first place I went for when I was, you know. Kim.com's house. On the case of someone, I'd go into their bins, check it out. Are you sure it was Kim? Yeah, definitely Kim. Mr.com team. I'll put it on my Insta, actually.

9:21Keyzie:What? Some of the footage that I got last night. Really? Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah, what else? What was really disturbing was that I came out at about 2.30 in the morning out on the lawn there in the front lawn, back one out. Oh, yeah, do a poo on your lawn. Yeah, totally naked. Asleep. Yeah, just waltzed out there. It looked like I was in a bit of a daze, backed one out and then just went back to bed again. I have no recollection of going out and taking a dump on my lawn. Wow. Because I've been saying to my wife lately, there is so many poos on the lawn at the moment. Surely it can't be. I mean, there must be another bloody dog coming in.

9:56Keyzie:Right. Even though our property is quite secure, bloody poos all over the place. Yeah, right. And I'm thinking to myself, God, has that been me? Well, it sounds like it. Yeah, and the thing is, they're all scattergun. They're not in just one spot. There's poos all over the place. Yeah, well, that sounds like the work of a human. Yeah. Yeah. Dogs are pretty precise about where they lay one down.