In short
“BEST OF ’25: Our 2025 Resolutions” on The Hauraki Big Show (Jace, Mike Minogue, Keyzie). The episode mixes comedy bits and recaps: bringing back the Kiwi “brown eye” (a teasing act described as dropping tweeds and exposing buttocks), a Magic Round hangover travel blow-by-blow (airport bag scan for a cigarette lighter; buying an extra $60 jug while boarding; slow flight; rugby league game Roosters vs Dolphins; late nights in Australia), and other segments (vaping in the lounge debate; improv “change a tyre” scene; “year 14 rowers” banned from Marty Cup; gym/aerobics struggles and joking about roids; wedding-anniversary gift talk; Mogi’s fake “RIP” injury banter).
Guests
No external guests named; only the hosts (Jace, Mike Minogue, Keyzie) and recurring character references (Mogi, Pugsun, Hoity J, “Del and Mel” in improv).
Key claims
“Brown eye” is affectionate tradition, not gross; year-14 rowers are effectively adults and were banned; vaping indoors is addictive and may be worse than cigarettes (wife’s claim, not verified).
Notable examples
cigarette lighter in jacket pocket; $60 jug during boarding; “pull a brown eye” photo/video plan; Magic Round flight time feeling “kept changing”; “Heroes” by David Bowie chosen for road trip; Alanis Morissette sing-along; Magic Round rugby game described as “turdia.”
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOPugs' Cheesy Night
0:45 to 2:10
The hosts discuss Keezy's antics after a night out and his humorous couch moment.
“That he really pissed his wife off, Mogey, because he was sitting on his couch naked eating cheese balls.”
Bringing Back the Brown Eye
2:10 to 4:48
A nostalgic discussion about the brown eye gesture and its significance in their youth.
“And so just for those listening who have no idea what a brown eye is.”
How to Revive the Brown Eye
4:48 to 6:04
The hosts brainstorm ways to popularize the brown eye gesture again among listeners.
“but it's something that's just fallen by the wayside somehow.”
Magic Round Adventures
6:04 to 11:21
The hosts recount their experiences and misadventures during the Magic Round weekend.
“Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.”
Road Trip Music Challenge
11:21 to 11:34
Pugs shares his approach to selecting the perfect songs for a road trip.
“just book whatever day the Waz are playing, buy a ticket for that.”
Choosing the Perfect Songs
11:34 to 14:00
The hosts discuss the significance of the songs chosen for the road trip and their meanings.
“I tell you what, I love being in my car going on a journey with old Jimmy turned up full vol.”
Discussion on Road Trip Tunes
14:00 to 14:40
The hosts discuss their favorite songs for road trips and their meanings.
“Yeah, it's, well, people will know what it is.”
Personal Road Trip Stories
14:40 to 16:00
The hosts share personal anecdotes related to their chosen road trip songs.
“I just think you're overthinking it a bit, man.”
Vaping Controversy
16:00 to 17:00
A humorous conversation about vaping, health implications, and personal experiences.
“What does New Zealand make of Pugsans' three road trip tunes?”
Questions About Vaping
17:00 to 19:28
The hosts ask each other funny questions about their vaping habits and behaviors.
“And then I turned my head away from where she was and blew clouds of smoke into the far distance.”
Show all 25 chapters
Big Show Improv Segment
19:28 to 25:06
The hosts engage in an improvisational skit about changing a tire on the road.
“But similarly, when it was more socially acceptable, Well, have you ever smoked cigarettes in bed?”
Mogi's Health Update
25:06 to 28:00
A light-hearted segment discussing Mogi's health issues and the listeners' reactions.
“That's a shame there You're doing really well and then you took us right out of it By referring to a stale radio segment Tool Chat Sorry, I just started slipping into those characters.”
Podcast Setup Changes
28:00 to 28:31
The hosts discuss upcoming changes to the podcast setup.
“Because there's a few changes I want to make there anyway, so that'll be quite good.”
Year 14 Rowers Controversy
28:31 to 31:53
A ban on year 14 rowers at high school regattas sparks a debate.
“And I'm like, I don't know, standard three?”
Work Ethic and Absences
31:53 to 35:30
The hosts reflect on their commitment to the show despite temptations to skip work.
“It makes for a better spectator sport if you've got faster rowers, Keezy.”
Wedding Anniversary Dilemmas
35:30 to 39:50
Kesey shares his concerns about not having planned anything for his anniversary.
“Honestly, I never thought it would last this well.”
Gym Routine Changes and Roids
39:50 to 42:01
The discuss changes in gym routines and the idea of using steroids for better results.
“You know that I've been going to the gym.”
Discussing Steroids and Fitness
42:01 to 44:21
The hosts delve into the pros and cons of using steroids for fitness.
“I mean, my veins already kind of pop anyway, but now they'll really be popping.”
Keezy's Gaming Podcast Dilemma
44:21 to 47:29
Keezy shares an amusing experience regarding his gaming podcast and Jase's support.
“Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.”
Rumors About Pope Hoardy J
47:29 to 50:29
The team addresses rumors about Hoardy J potentially becoming the next Pope.
“Now, listen, in the first break of the show, I was addressing rumours about Hoedie J being the next Pope.”
Chris's Comedy Encounter
50:29 to 54:49
Chris recounts an uncomfortable social interaction at a leaving drinks event.
“And technically it's not, you know, you're not breaking it.”
Acting and Improvisation Tips
54:49 to 56:00
The hosts discuss the importance of learning lines and improvisation in acting.
“Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.”
Improvisation in Acting
56:00 to 58:32
Learn about the value of improvisation for actors and script interpretation.
“I have to play the role of a commentator.”
New Year's Resolutions
58:32 to 1:00:35
Discuss personal resolutions for the New Year, focusing on health and goals.
“I'm learning the piano in an entire album.”
Aiming for a Memorable Year
1:00:35 to 1:02:26
The hosts reflect on what they want to achieve in 2025 and how to measure success.
“And what steps do you think you're putting?”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keyzie. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.
0:06Keyzie:I was just delighted to hear, because it was a radio and podcast awards last night, Mogi, and of course Old Keyzie had a big one. And Pug San. And Pug San. Made a fool of himself. Pug San is... I haven't seen Hyde nor hear of him today. He is having a day, Old Pug San. He is the man, we all agree, but he is having a day today. And not only is he having a shocker, he couldn't care less about it. Yeah, exactly. I've never seen anything like it. It's brilliant stuff. He's normally got very high standards, but they are nowhere to be seen today. Old pugs aren't. But Keezy was telling us when he got home, I think it was about 2.33 this morning.
0:42Keyzie:Oh, was it? Yeah. That he really pissed his wife off, Mogey, because he was sitting on his couch naked eating cheese balls.
0:51Mike Minogue:See, when you tell stories, man, you exaggerate so much. And I told you that in confidence. I was on the couch eating a bowl of cheese balls with my shirt off. You told it confidently. So that I wouldn't get. You were very confident in the telling of it, Keezy. So that I wouldn't get cheese ball dust on my white dress shirt. So you got them on your bullars instead. I had pants on. My wife came out and basically said, when are you coming to bed? No, she said you're coming to bed. Yeah, she said you're coming to bed and bring them cheese balls with you, stud. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.
1:20Keyzie:We had a fascinating chat on the Big Show outro today, which is a bonus podcast that we do. It's like a warm-up to the show. And I was triggered by something that we were talking about, and I'd like to bring it back because it was a big part of my upbringing, and I know, Moggy, for you too, it was a big part of your upbringing. And Keezy. Not so much. Interestingly, yeah, not so much. It wasn't something that you and all your mates indulged in.
1:47Mike Minogue:No, we didn't indulge in it. I sort of had like a hybrid version of it, a toned-back version of it. that was very rarely brought out. I still didn't have a lot to do with that either. Yeah.
1:59Keyzie:Well, the idea that I'd like to put out there to our listeners, and I hope you guys back me up on this, is to bring back the brown eye. Right. And so just for those listening who have no idea what a brown eye is. Yeah, what is it, Jase? It's when someone drops their tweeds and clasps both buttocks in their hands and shows the world their interior. So it sort of bends over at the waist, reaches back, grabs a batok, pulls east and west. Opens the curtains there. Opens the curtains. Yeah. And, you know.
2:37Mike Minogue:And why do you want this to come back?
2:39Keyzie:Well, it was just such a part of my upbringing, you know what I mean? At school, I mean, and we did it so often. It was just, there was nothing gross about it. It was just a fun thing. It was sort of like a hello, g'day, kielder. Yeah, g'day, mate. Yeah. Oh, really? Exactly, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. It's like a Kiwi tradition. Very much so. Yeah, fish and chips, pavlova, brown eye.
3:00Mike Minogue:Totally. Because when I was growing up, it was the sort of thing you did to poke fun at someone, like, oh, let's go past, and when I was growing up, it was a moon. Make them look at my. You would moon them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the sort of thing that sticks with them, man. 100%. What do you mean moon? So a moon is where you do the same thing, but you don't necessarily open the curtains. You keep the curtains closed. Just showing the Batox. Are you just showing them the Batox? The Batox is the star of the show. Yes. That's right. And it's quite often, like, to enhance the moon, you might push it up against the glass of the window.
3:31Mike Minogue:Press ham. Press ham, yeah.
3:32Keyzie:Back in our day, like, the brown eye, because you sort of think it's pretty gross, but it was actually a term of affection.
3:39Mike Minogue:Right, so you wouldn't do it at someone to sort of tease them all. It was like, I love you.
3:44Keyzie:Yeah, it was like, g'day, mate. Yeah. Brown eye. Yes, exactly. I mean, some of them were travesties. Some of them, I mean, could be travesties for sure. Yeah, that's right. People who weren't taking care of themselves back there regularly enough, but they weren't to know that because it's sort of like if you're balding, you don't sort of know it until you see a photograph. Yes. Or someone points it out to you, takes you aside and has a whisper to you. Mate, no good.
4:06Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. So how do you propose that the audience brings back the brown eye? Do you want to, for example, if you see one of us in public, or maybe just start with you guys, do a brown eye? No, first of all, you've got to get the vernacular right, Keezy. You pull a brown eye. You don't do a brown eye. You pull a brown eye. You pull a brown eye.
4:25Keyzie:I don't want anyone doing a brown eye on me, Keezy. Right, so you want someone pulling a brown eye on you. Yes. No, you pull a brown eye at someone. Someone, yes. I'm going to pull a brown eye at you. Yeah, yeah. There you go. Because I thought it was do a brown eye on you. No, no, pull a brown eye. And that's the good thing about this is I think it's going to catch on really fast because it's simply something that's been forgotten, lost to the annals of time. Correct. I don't know if it was PC gone mad, but it's something that's just fallen by the wayside somehow. And I think if we bring it back, then, you know, everything will follow.
4:55There'll be television shows, there'll be merchandise a lot.
4:58Keyzie:And it's just going to take one person to pull back the curtains. Yes. And then everyone will be into it again. Do you think it is PC gone mad, or is it just people don't want to see your bum hole? Oh, I mean, there's absolutely a case of that. I mean, a lot of people don't like looking at other people's bum holes. That's just how it is. But some people do. And sometimes what you're going to have is a bit of friendly fire, I guess. Yes. But what do you do? Do you protect the few and deprive the majority, Keezy? Right, yeah. You know, sometimes. Me thinks not. Yeah. Yeah, right. So how are we going to start this?
5:33I think probably pull a brown eye out there somewhere and just take a photo of it and send it to Keezy. Chris Key. No, no, don't send it to Keezy. On Instagram.
5:44Mike Minogue:It's a waste of time. Pull a brown eye, video it, and then send it to MrMikeMinogue on Instagram and just tag him in it as well. I think if we send it to Hauraki Big Show, that's the worst one.
5:54Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, send it to Hauraki Big Show. Yeah, send it to Pugs. And Pugs can go through them and sort them out. And you can just sort them out. And Jase will pick a winner.
6:03Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Fellas, one thing I've noticed is we've spent the first hour of the show guts-taking about being hungover from Magic Round. Yeah? Responsibly. And by the way, when Mogi's hungover, he makes lots of random noises. We haven't actually talked about what we did at Magic Round. Yes, what you did. Come on, Mogi. You're an animal, man. Don't sing me out like that. Well, let's start with going to the airport. Shall we start there? Okay. We went to the airport, and that was a really great start. And we found a little bar there.
6:33Got through really quickly. Of course, you and I, Jay, straight away got pulled aside. Because what did we do? We both had cigarette lighters in our bag. Yeah, my bag. I got pulled over for having a cigarette. And, you know, a 20-minute wait once they, you know, divert your bag. So she pulled me up, finally sat there for 20 minutes waiting for that, then had the chat, and she said, oh, the problem is you've got a cigarette lighter in your jacket pocket. Right. And it's sitting inside a tray with my shoes and my belt. And I said, so it would have been fine if I took it out of my jacket pocket and just put it in the tray.
7:05Yes. That's fine. She said, yes. I said, but not in my jacket pocket and in the tray. She said, that's right. I said, well, of course, that makes no sense at all, but great start to the weekend. Cheers. Then we went and had a few beers, didn't we, fellas?
7:17Mike Minogue:Well, what happened was we parked up at a bar. We took turns buying jugs responsibly. And I bought some chips for the fellas. I was like, all right, I better go buy a jug. And I was like, Mogi, do you reckon we have time for one more jug? And you're like, yeah, man. Absolutely. And I was walking alongside you as I was going out to go to the toilet. You stopped and bought the jug. I kept on walking. I thought, you know, it's probably time I check and see what time this goddamn plane's departing. And I have a look. Look at our flight number. It says boarding now. I'd say, oh, I'd better go and tell Keezy about that.
7:41I'll just go for my whazz first. And by the time I got back, old Keezy's turning up with a jug. It's like, Keezy, we're boarding, man. So one of the videos on the Instagram, on our one, which you can see,
7:51Mike Minogue:is me showing up with a full jug and everyone will be like, oh, we're boarding, Keezy. It's like, what? And how much for the jug? $60. $60. What's that about?
7:59Keyzie:But, you know, we dealt with it. Oh, no.
8:01Mike Minogue:We're backbones. We handled it. The flight. We haven't even left New Zealand yet in this yard.
8:06Keyzie:Yeah. That's why I was trying to sort of move through it here. about the flight, and I don't know whether this is true or not, was one of those flights where, you know, you're sort of watching a movie and you see how much time to go and it's like 3.27 until you arrive at your destination, 3 hours, 27 minutes. And you go, okay, and then time passes and stuff. And then you go back and check the time again and it's like 3.24 and it's like, hang on, surely it's been longer than 3. I felt like they kept putting the time back all the time, but that might have been my imagination. I don't know. Yeah, I don't think they know how to put the time back, so I'm guessing it was your imagination.
8:41But I do take on board that it was a bloody slow flight. Yeah, very slow. It was a wounder. And, of course, one of the promises I made was that I was going to be in bed before midnight. Yes. Now, we got over there. We went to the hotel. We got to the game, which from memory, I can't remember. It was Roosters, Dolphins. Oh, Dolphins, yeah. Dolphins, yes. So we got there, and I was watching that. We met the winners, lovely guys. We saw Pants Man Joel Harrison there. Great, having a chat with them. That was all good. but it was one of the most turdia games of rugby league I'd ever seen. I stayed for 20 minutes and I was trying to get through an Australian beer and I was on the verge of throwing up.
9:12And keep in mind, I wasn't drunk at all, but this beer was so disgusting and I was chewing my way through it. I said, I can't do it. So I did an Irish goodbye and I just bailed. On the way, I got recognised by an Australian policeman, which was a nice touch. He got a selfie. Then I got outside, tried to stop myself from throwing up all the way to the Uber. Got back to the hotel. I thought I'd go outside for one dart and then I'm going to bed. That was at 10.30. The elevator door's open. Who should come in? But Pug's son and Hoity Jane, next thing I know it's 3.30 in the morning. Meanwhile, Miam and I did it the old-fashioned way.
9:45Mike Minogue:We were out for most of the night. We got into the hotel at 2.30, which was 4.30 New Zealand time, really. Yeah. And we were like, man, I think we've done this well. 2.30's pretty good. Yeah. And we won't be too – we'll be worse than Mike and Jase and Pugs and that, but we won't be too bad. Yeah. Only to find out that you guys went longer and harder than we did. That's right. And then Saturday was an absolute struggle. Met up at lunchtime with the boys' trip group. There's about 100 Waz fans in this one-week room.
10:10Keyzie:But we met up for breakfast first, Casey.
10:11Mike Minogue:We had breakfast. Breakfast knocky. I feel like we need to skip through this. Yeah. Met up, spent the entire afternoon with the first few hours there, then went to Caxton Street for about four or five hours. Horty J was hating his life. Finally got to the Waz game, started Ripper. Last half an hour was extremely tough to watch. and then we stayed out until after midnight. Me and Mania, you guys flagged it. Bailed Oz in bed by about 10.30, I think. Yeah, I mean, it was a hell of a weekend. And can I just say to all of the people we met, all of the fans of the big show that came up and had a yarn, your backbone's one and all.
10:45Unbelievable. There's a huge amount of people that are in behind the show over there. It's amazing. Everyone was a good bastard. Yeah, it's always good to see you. Don't be shy. Always come up and have a chat. Just not to Jason.
10:56Mike Minogue:Yeah, just not to me. Yeah, preferably not me, but that's all, G. Well, there you go. A bit of a recap of how the weekend went. And can I just say, if you're thinking about going, if you're contemplating, if you hear these stories and go, oh, it's probably never like that, it is always like that. It is an unbelievable event. Book for next year now. It is out the gate. Boys trip will look after you. It's a once in a lifetime. If you can only do it once, do it once, but it's not going to completely break the bank if you start saving now. Also, if you can't afford to go to every single game, blah, blah, blah, just book whatever day the Waz are playing, buy a ticket for that.
11:26Mike Minogue:Spend the other two days at Caxton Street getting amongst, chuck your jersey on, bloody ripper. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.
11:35Keyzie:I tell you what, I love being in my car going on a journey with old Jimmy turned up full vol. Wow. And we had this fascinating conversation, actually, before the show because old Pugsun is going on a road trip tomorrow, I believe, to Wellington there, Pugsun. I am, I am. I am taking a day of leave. Big Dilly will be filling in in Studio B there. Pretty half-assed if you ask me. I mean, you've only been back a week and a half. No, I'm going to full-ass it, all right. But you've been given the responsibility of choosing the music for the road trip, and you've taken it very, very seriously.
12:07Mike Minogue:I was – now, I'm tacking on to somebody else's road trip, down to Wellington where I'm from. Whose road trip is it? Anonymous and Anonymous' best friend. Oh, so your partner, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your partner.
Read the full transcript
12:21Keyzie:Meeting the parents, huh? Oh, that's exciting, man. Oh, congratulations. That is really good. I mean, seriously, you know shit's going well when she's like, come and meet the folks.
12:33Mike Minogue:Yeah, well, we sort of came back after that horror of a fight that we had late last year. Oh, don't bring that up. Yeah, just let that go. There's a little bit of resentment, but that's okay. We'll figure it out.
12:40Keyzie:She rang me in tears about that.
12:43Mike Minogue:But anyway, you're doing a road trip. So they proposed to me a challenge. Well, that's early. Yeah. Turn it off, Chris. Quick. Yeah, really good. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, if I can just tell my story, protect the storyteller, guys. I was presented with a challenge to provide three songs that I think were the best possible choices for this road trip that we're taking. Yeah. And as I play them in the car or before I play them in the car, I will have to explain why I chose them in a sort of verbal essay format. Can I just say, before we do this, so he's got the three songs here. Yeah. That's something I'd probably quite enjoy doing.
13:19Mike Minogue:Yeah. I've had a ball with it. I literally spent all of last night until about midnight researching the songs that I have elected for this challenge. And you've got an audience of two, right? So it's not like it's going out to everyone. It's just two people, and you get to sit them down and say, look, the reason I've chosen this, listen out for this, and blah, blah, blah, blah, and then you get to play them. So you've got three here.
13:37Keyzie:It sounds pretty anal to me, actually, you guys getting into it and stuff. It's like, these are the tunes I'm playing. Just enjoy. If you don't like it, there's the door. All right? Down to the road there. The car door.
13:50Mike Minogue:You can play some Down Buzz stuff. So we've got the three tunes here, Pugs. That you've selected? Yeah. We'll start with this one here, which just so happens to be my GOAT, my greatest of all time tune. One of mine as well. Yeah, it's, well, people will know what it is.
14:06Mike Minogue:Yeah.
14:07Keyzie:Yeah. Just for one day.
14:09Mike Minogue:David Bowie, Heroes. Yeah. So just a little. All timer. Why? That song, I literally have spent hours writing about this, and now that I'm on here, I can't even think of it. You've got 10 seconds. Okay, look, it's about being us for one day is the biggest part of that. That song has a lot of themes of adversity and oppression, but still being together in the moment despite it all. That's good, man. That's what you want on a road trip. And I think despite all the troubles that we feel in our lives, while we're in that car, man, there's nothing else but us. You know what I'm saying, brother? See, I like that, Jase, man.
14:37Mike Minogue:How do you feel about that, Jase? Yeah, Jase.
14:40Keyzie:I just think you're overthinking it a bit, man. You know, just relax.
14:44Mike Minogue:Can I just say this song that you chose here, Yeah. Really weird, ironic, well not ironic, but a weird coincidence that as I pulled into my car park today, I was listening to this very song. Oh yeah. Tears for Fares. Beautiful song to drive to. Listen to that. You like that? Yeah. You love it, eh, Jase? It's a little bit yummy, boys. No, it's not. Tears for Fares, very yummy, boys. Now that one was less of a deep sort of analytical meaning, but more about how it actually just sounds. You know, the time signatures in 12-8, and it just has this perpetual motion. That feels like you're on the road, you know what I'm saying?
15:16Mike Minogue:See, that's music appreciation right there, Jase. I'm learning a lot. I'm learning a lot. I don't know what the hell a time signature is, but it sounded smart when I said it.
15:23Keyzie:You're not going to sort of be chatting about this sort of stuff while it's playing, are you? No, God, no. I think it's more of an introduction. Oh, okay. Hey, before we play this song, it's a bit of a 12-8 beat here, and it's a beautiful day in the city of sales.
15:35Mike Minogue:You can pause it as well. And this next bit you're about to hear. All right, so your third choice is the one that I don't fully agree with, although it is a banger. Yeah, go. Go. That's what I'm talking about.
15:51Mike Minogue:That one's largely for the sing-along factor. Plus you've got two females in the car. My wife loves Alanis Morissette. Absolutely. Know your audience, man. That's right. What does New Zealand make of Pugsans' three road trip tunes? I can imagine I'm going to get absolutely blitzed.
16:08Keyzie:We'll see. But also, what are New Zealand's road trip tunes? That's what I want to know. I'm also open to other suggestions.
16:14Mike Minogue:3483, text it through, get yourself in the draw for a$50 night and day voucher. What about this for a road trip? Aussie Osborne? Bit of Aussie? Yeah, man.
16:23Keyzie:I like, you know, the instruments. I just hate it when he starts singing. It's great analysis from you, Jase.
16:31Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
16:37Keyzie:Something outrageous happened to me last night, fellas. and I want to talk to you about it. Okay. I was sitting on the couch and my wife was sitting on the seat next to me, you know, a little way away from me. And I may or may not have had just a quiet little puff on the old vape there. Inside on the couch. Inside on the couch. And then I turned my head away from where she was and blew clouds of smoke into the far distance. A vape. very far away from my wife, I might add, and she went, and I went, what? It's vapour for God's sake. Immediately on the attack. And then she said to me, and this is not by any means medically proven or not, but she does work in a medical centre.
17:33Keyzie:She said, you know, a lot of doctors now are saying that if you are addicted to vaping, you're better off going back to cigarettes. And I was like, why did you tell me that?
17:47Mike Minogue:Because you're vaping on the couch inside. Pretty much, I think.
17:50Keyzie:Now, I want to reiterate again, this is not verified medical information. Well, I can tell you that you were talking to us about this in the chat and I immediately looked it up because that's been my vibe. When I used to vape, I felt so much more unhealthy And I don't know if it was because I was doing it 24-7. Yeah, that's the thing. Because you can do it absolutely anywhere or what the story was. But that was how I felt. So I looked it up and I could find absolutely nothing to back up what she was saying. However, my own personal experience suggests that's the case. That's why I've personally gone back to the darts.
18:26Another option, Kesey, is sure I could give up completely. Hey, man, I didn't say anything, man. You just do what you need to do. But I think what your wife's doing there is if you get back on the darts, then she gets more time inside the house without you because you're always outside smoking cigarettes. So essentially you move out. She only sees you for certain meals and bedtime.
18:45Keyzie:Yeah, that's accurate. And she is not, can I just reiterate, the sort of person to just throw out things willy-nilly like that. And I was actually genuinely taken aback by her reaction to me, having a quick, quiet little vape in the corner there, blowing it a fast distance away. Why do you need a vape in the lounge? Why? Because he's an addict. And this is the thing about vaping, and this is 100 % right, is because it's so easy that people just sit there sucking on the basset all day. Yeah. You know, as opposed with a ciggy, you go outside when you're having a coffee and I'll have a ciggy.
19:22Mike Minogue:Because there's some admin involved, you have to do some stuff. Correct. Yeah, okay, so here's some questions. Have you ever vaped in bed? Yes. But similarly, when it was more socially acceptable, Well, have you ever smoked cigarettes in bed? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's something kind of hot about smoking in a dark bed. Yeah, there is. Yeah.
19:39Keyzie:Can I just say both options are terrible. Yeah. Continue with your questions, please, Geezy.
19:44Mike Minogue:Have you ever vaped whilst on the toilet? No. Come on, man. Really? Yes. Yuck.
19:52Keyzie:No, I haven't. I've never vaped in the toilet. Okay, I don't know what the hell's true now.
19:55Mike Minogue:I'd say, yeah.
19:56Keyzie:No, I've never vaped on the toilet. Right. Have you ever vaped in the shower? No. Right, okay. But I do vape continuously in the house. Yes. I'll just slink off down the corridor and suck hard and then blow it down there and then come back in. Or go into the sunroom and...
20:15Keyzie:Yeah. So what are you going to do? I don't know, man. It's got you, though, isn't it? Yeah, it's got me. Fully got you. Told you. Now I'm thinking of bloody Mogey and Fiji having a few darts.
20:28Mike Minogue:I'm like, I'm doomed, man. Nah, just have some willpower, Jase. I believe in you, man. You've got keys in there.
20:34Keyzie:I'll tell you what. I won't vape or smoke if you have no beersies.
20:41Mike Minogue:Mogi might want to buy a couple of cartons, mate. That is a terrible bet, Jase. Absolutely not. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.
20:51Keyzie:Quiet on set. Sound speed. Lights. Camera. Action. Now it's time for the Big Show Improv. Yeah, it's a hell of a segment this one. This is where we attempt to give Kesey a bit of acting experience since he can't land a job. Had the odd audition, haven't you, mate? Turned a few down because you didn't like the sexual content. But yeah, we sort of run an improvisational scene that's been born out of some of the content on today's show. Today we're going to go with a change in the tyre scenario. Right. In this particular scenario here, Kesey, you've got a flatty. Okay, so I've pulled over. You've pulled over on the side of the road safely, okay?
21:30You're sort of in the middle of nowhere a little bit.
21:33Mike Minogue:Right, okay, a country road. They call them the Wops, where I'm from. I've heard that, yeah. And then old Hoity J, one of the local farmers, he turns up in his Hilux ute. He's got a couple of barking bastard dogs on the back there. They might be quiet, though. You might not be able to hear them. Anyway, he's going to give you a hand. Okay. All right. All right. You ready, Jase? Yeah, man. And action. Does that sound like a highway? Yeah, man. Yeah, okay.
22:03Mike Minogue:God, what the...
22:07Keyzie:Shit,
22:09Mike Minogue:what the hell's that?
22:11Keyzie:Shut up, Bruce, you bloody magey muggler! Shut it!
22:16Mike Minogue:G'day, sir. You alright?
22:17Keyzie:Yeah, g'day, mate. How you going? You alright? Got a bit of trouble there?
22:20Mike Minogue:Yeah, not good, to be honest, man. I've just got a flatty, but it's all good. I know how to change it, so... All good here, man.
22:25Keyzie:Oh, do you, mate? You're from the city, are you?
22:28Mike Minogue:No, I am from the city, yeah, but I know how to change a tyre, so it's all good, man.
22:32Keyzie:Yeah, away you go, mate. If you need a hand, I'm happy to chip in there if you need it. Nah, it's all good, man. You just keep on going there, brother. I'm happy to chip in there if you need it. Nah. Go and get your jack, you dirty bastard. Go on there. Okay. Make sure that you... Shut up, Bruce, you bloody mangy mongrel!
22:49Mike Minogue:Okay. All right. Well, if you're going to insist on just sort of being there. Right. Going to get the old tyre out. Here it is. And the old wheel well.
22:57Keyzie:Yeah, just easy on there, mate. You don't want to get a bit of dirt on your beautiful white T-shirt there. It's a spark of your wife. Thanks, man. It's got creases in it, has it, mate? Nah, better not. I ironed it this morning. You ironed your dishes. Yeah, I did, mate. So can you get out the way, mate? Yeah, each to their own, mate. Can you just get out the way, brother?
23:13Mike Minogue:Each to their own. Okay. I'm going to put the jack under the sill there. I'm just going to wind it up.
23:22Keyzie:You're making sure you're putting it on the right struts there, mate. You've got to do it on the red panel there. I know what I'm doing. So what was your name, man? Pardon? Reel, reel, reel, reel, reel, reel, reel. You all right? Making some weird noises. What are you guys up to? Oh, hi.
23:35Mike Minogue:G'day, man. What's your name? Another. I'm Mel. Oh, hey, Mel. How you going? Do you know this guy, by the way? Oh, yeah, that's Del. Yeah, yeah. Del. Yeah. And Mel. We're cousins. G'day there. I'm Geoffrey. Yeah. Geoffrey? Yeah, my tyre. I'm just trying to get the old tyre changed here, fellas. You're going to do it like that, are you? Yeah. The trick is, mate, you want to get down there and get close to those nuts, all right? You get down there on all fours, right, brother? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just get down there on all fours. Good man, were you, Del? Good man. Yeah, down you go, mate. I'm fine, Del.
24:01Mike Minogue:Thank you, and thanks, Mel. I appreciate your stuff.
24:02Keyzie:Listen, when you're... It's a word of advice, mate. She's a dangerous bloody road, isn't she? Yeah, she is. It's quiet out these ways, mate. Yeah, it's pretty quiet. You know the thing about this road, Del? Yeah, mate. You can scream and no one will hear you. Yeah, that's a weird thing to say, Mel. So when you're down there on all fours, just make sure you keep looking over your shoulder there to make sure there's no traffic coming or anything. Keep an eye out for that.
24:25Mike Minogue:Haven't you got any cows to round up or anything, Del?
24:27Keyzie:Yeah, I know. We did that this morning, mate. We're not like you city folk. We're up at four. I'm an accountant. Yeah, he's a forensic accountant.
24:36Mike Minogue:Forensic accountant. Sorry, that's really interesting. Sorry, I'm just taking the tyre off. Now I've been loosening the nuts that whole time, and now they're off. What are you telling me for? That's weird. Just in case someone else here was listening It was curious where I was at Sure yeah You're getting a bit of a sweat on mate Take your shirt off I'll take my shirt off if I was me You guys sound like Have you heard of a segment called Tool Chat? And scene That's a shame there You're doing really well and then you took us right out of it By referring to a stale radio segment Tool Chat Sorry, I just started slipping into those characters.
25:19Mike Minogue:But I found that actually quite, like I felt like I was there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the introduction of Del and Mel, that threw me through a loop, but I felt like I was able to sort of roll with the punches. Yeah, you did. You did then. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
25:39Keyzie:You're just joining us, by the way. Mogi was late on the show today because he was getting various scans for his broken ribs and bleeding liver. Well, potentially. Well, potentially. Definite. But from what I've heard, it sounds like he's dying. Yeah. It's only a matter of time. And dear. Dear. A lot of people have texted in on 3483 giving you their support, Mogi, and wishing you all the best, mate.
26:04Mike Minogue:Oh, good. I certainly have, Mogi. Listen to this, man. Okay, man. RIP Mogi. Oh, cheers. Yeah, man. So you know what that means, rest in peace. Oh, is that what it is? So that's nice. That's nice. Thanks, mate. That is nice. Who's in the will, Mogi? Hmm. Actually, the wife's been banging on at me about that. Got to do that, Mogi. Well, I'm assuming it just goes to her. That's what I've been saying. It's like, where else is it going to go?
26:26Keyzie:Who else gets all this debt? Well, let me just tell you this. You fellas don't do too badly out of 40 J's, Will. Really? Yeah, yeah, man. Mogi has, I'm giving you my dillies.
26:40Mike Minogue:Thanks, man. Mogi has a stubbed toe, softie.
26:47Keyzie:Well, I think that's... It's very painful. Yeah, well, as part of it, didn't you lift the nail up a little bit on your toe? No, no, just that red little bit there on the front. Oh, yeah, that you showed me, yeah.
26:55Mike Minogue:Look at this. Definitely dying. Where can I send my CV? Oh, your curriculum vitae, that is. Oh, is that what that is? Yeah. Oh, right, okay. Curriculum vitae. They're actually, they're asking for a reference from you now before you go as well. A reference? Yeah, because I think you used to have worked with them. Got a name? On 348. No, no name. Yeah, that sounds about right.
27:14Keyzie:Can I just say, though, that one of the fatal moves you made at the early hours of the morning when you were suffering your pain was going on the interweb and searching for stuff. Look, who doesn't do that? Me. And before I knew, and I knew what I was going to get back. It's always death. You're going to die. It's death. Yeah, yeah.
27:35Mike Minogue:What about this one, Moggy? RIP, Moggy. Can I grab your wife's number? Sorry, what? That's good stuff, you know. That's sympathy right there. That's good from the listeners. I want you to know, Moggy.
27:46Keyzie:My body's still warm. I want you to know that Keezy and I, we'll look after, you know, everyone in your group there. We'll take over the business. Family. I'll bring your agency into my agency. Oh, cheers, man. Because there's a few changes I want to make there anyway, so that'll be quite good. Cut a bit of dead wood. Yeah, cut a bit of dead wood. I'm going to change the podcast set up too. It's going to be top quality. I might actually start getting some jobs now. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:17Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
28:23Keyzie:We've got breaking news. This is breaking news.
28:28Mike Minogue:Diddiddiddush. Fellas, year 14 rowers have been banned from Marty Regatta You know the Marty Cup? No Famous rowing regatta here for high schoolers in New Zealand Yes High school famously finishes at year 13
28:44Keyzie:Yeah, I was going to say Because even to this day, Moggy, I get confused with the numbers When my daughters were at school, it was like, what year is she? And I'm like, I don't know, standard three? Yes You know what I mean?
28:55Mike Minogue:She's at uni, Dad Oh Oh So a small number of schools were allowing students to return to row in the national championships after completing their final year of high school, basically coming back, being year 14, another year older, one year extra experience rowing stronger in order to win championships. Can you tell me why we're calling them year 14 if there is no year 14? Aren't they just former students or, in other words, adults? They are adults. They are former students. Maybe it's like you can come back and finish. Do you race other year 14ers? No, no, no. So it's only certain schools were racing year 13 and below kids.
29:35Mike Minogue:Right. And then certain schools were weaving in year 14 return students. Ring-ins. Ring-ins, that's right. I don't know how they justified it. I don't know why they were like, hey, if they were like, hey, you should fail NCAA Level 3, then come back next year. We had guys that would do that with rugby when I was growing up at high school. So they'd fail seventh form or one of the years, and they'd just come back and essentially just come back to play rugby and hang out with the boys. And were the teachers like, you should definitely keep doing that so we get wins? Yeah, well, everybody knew what was going on.
30:04Mike Minogue:Yeah, right, okay. And this was by no means an elite school for rugby, but it's just rather than go on the dole, you come back to school and play rugby. Yeah, right. Yeah. And the thing is, there's a massive difference between, say, an 18-year-old and a 17-year-old or a 19-year-old and an 18, you know? That's right. It's a huge difference, fellas.
30:24Keyzie:Do you think so, Jason? Well, I was just trying to think of the difference between me at 17 and 19. Right. I wouldn't say vastly different. Mind you, the only, I mean, the major difference between me then at 17 and 19 was I was unleashed on the boos and the ciggies because I wasn't at school.
30:41Mike Minogue:So you would have actually been a detriment to your rowing team. Yeah, I was going to say.
30:44Keyzie:So it may actually be, Keezy, that these people are hitting the hammer really hard, coming back and being detrimental to their teams.
30:52Mike Minogue:No, what happened was because a few years back, I think several high-profile schools actually got championships taken away from them. Wow. Because they had won using several of these year-14 students. So they weren't like you, Hoytie J. They went on the booze and the darts and stuff. They were in prime physical condition. Right, okay. So it is quite a controversial thing. It's a good trick. I like it. It is a great trick, yeah. And they banned that? They're banning it. Yeah, they have banned it. It's PC gone, man. And what's the problem with it? What's the problem with it? Well, Mogey, the problem is you've got adults going up against kids.
31:23Mike Minogue:It's one year's difference. Well, one year's difference. Hang on. They could be a board in the same year.
31:27Keyzie:How woke do we have to get? And I bet it was the teams that were losing, the losers, they had a problem with it. Well, yeah.
31:33Mike Minogue:Yeah, because they were losing to full-grown adults.
31:35Keyzie:Yeah, sookie bubbers. Yeah. Um, jeez, come on. I mean, seriously. This is what's the problem with New Zealand. This is why we've got record numbers of people leaving this country. Totally. Because they're banning year 14 students from rowing in the Marty Cup. Yeah. That gets deep inside my goat, that whole thing. Wait, so you're for it or against it? Yeah, totally for it, man. Harden up. It makes for a better spectator sport if you've got faster rowers, Keezy.
32:01Mike Minogue:Yeah, but it's just kids rowing, man. Oh, God. I thought you said they were adults. What? No, the ones... The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
32:13Keyzie:Hey, fellas, there was a lot of chitter chat today on our WhatsApp chat about not coming in today. How are we feeling about the fact that we're here now? Oh, look, I always wanted to be here. Sure. I find that the best part about having a huge weekend is the inevitability of going to work on Monday. Sure. How good. Yes, great. I mean, I know there's some out there which, you know, you go away, you have a huge three days, you fly the flag for your radio show for Radio Hauraki. You know, some people give you the day off for that since you've actually been slogging it for 72 hours straight. And we were slogging it.
32:50With no relent. It's non-stop. So you'd think you'd earn a couple of hours off, maybe a Monday off. But I said, look, look at that.
32:57Mike Minogue:That's the thing, Muggie. I'm not asking for the day off. I'm asking for three hours off. Exactly. Specifically four till seven. Yes, please. Today. Sure. And so basically what I want to know on 3483, every text in the draw for a reberger voucher, and also 0800HORAKI if you want to chat to us about it, would the world end if there was no big show today? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, for example, if we went to the next song break and then it just played nothing but songs for the next few hours and we weren't there, would that really change anything? That's a really good question. I think it would just increase the desire for the big show.
33:28I think absence makes the heart grow fondant. So imagine how many people would be listening tomorrow if we didn't come on here today.
33:35Keyzie:Well, with that kind of theory. Or for the rest of the week. Imagine how big the numbers would be next week. I was going to say, on that theory, we take the rest of the week off, then come back strong on the Monday.
33:44Mike Minogue:And when you think about it, Jase, that's only 15 hours we're having off.
33:47Keyzie:Well, exactly.
33:48Mike Minogue:That's only essentially two days off.
33:50Keyzie:Exactly. Maybe for you, Kesey, but I do five hours prep every day, remember? So, you know, it's a bit more for me.
33:57Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. So there you go. Then you can stand down on your prep.
33:59Keyzie:My kind of theory is actually get back on the horse straight away. You know, she's been a big weekend. Go and do some great radio. Go and do some hard graft. You're absolutely right, Jase. You come back in here, you've got to sweat it out, don't you? Totally. You put your shoulder to the old whatever the hell they say and then you sweat like a bastard because you're just putting in so much effort into running your yap.
34:20Mike Minogue:Well, what about this, fellas, on 3483? They're already coming through. They're sort of just backing me up on this, really. Hey, Jack here, the radio would be way better if your knobs weren't on it. That's true. You know what I mean? I mean, this is what I've been trying to tell the bosses here for years.
34:32Keyzie:Oh, but, you know, actually, I find that quite hurtful. Oh, yeah. Today I find everything hurtful. Yeah, sure, okay.
34:39Mike Minogue:Yeah, well, no, because what that, I mean, And that's the problem with texts, right? You read them and you don't know the context of that. But the way you're saying it is, it would be way better tomorrow if you guys weren't on it today. Well, this one here says, my world would end if there was no big show today. But the way I hear that is, oh, yeah, my world would end if there was no big show today.
34:58Keyzie:I feel like he hates us even more than the other guy was saying, where we're nobs, you know?
35:02Mike Minogue:I feel like he hates us more than I hate myself. Yeah, totally. I don't know about that. I don't know if that's possible. But 3483, Would you guys care if we just sort of didn't come back after the next few songs and we're just songs for the next three hours? Let's say you guys just give us a couple of hours off. Yeah, sure. You guys could have a couple of hours off tomorrow. Yeah, exactly. How about that? The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
35:25Keyzie:So you've got a wedding anniversary coming up, Kesey. Congrats. Well done, man. Thanks. Honestly, I never thought it would last this well. Snap. Two years.
35:36Mike Minogue:It's crazy that it's two years. It doesn't feel like it's two years. Is it two years? Two years. Jeez. Far out. Two years since you guys weren't invited. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? I remember that so clearly. Yeah.
35:47Keyzie:I wasn't fussed, to be honest. Yeah, no, neither. I caught up with your wife a couple of weeks later, had a coffee, and it was all cheap.
35:53Mike Minogue:Sure you did. Okay. One thing that has struck me, this weekend I'm going to another wedding, and it's the day before our wedding anniversary. Right. And so we're going away for this trip, and it's kind of like we're away for this wedding, which is really great. And the day after is our wedding anniversary. Let's make a weekend of it, you know. We go down to Topal, beautiful part of the country. I find it quite cold there. Oh, really? Oh, it's a shame. We'll have to change. I'll tell them to change the venue in that. Get them to have the wedding somewhere else, Jase. Sure. But something struck me as I was driving into work today.
36:26Mike Minogue:I haven't purchased a wedding anniversary present. Is that a thing? I feel like it might be a thing. I haven't organised a dinner. And it's been very chill and very low-key in the Kesey household. So I'm just worried I might be walking into a bit of a situation here where she might be, not that she ever does, expect stuff like that. You were saying she's got a hurr of a temper on her. Yeah, man, she's a shocker. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I was saying. That can happen, man. That can happen. All of a sudden you get married and then you find out. Like Jase and I. Yeah. You know, you don't want to reveal too much too soon or you can put them off and she's probably done the same thing to you with that hurr of a temper that she's got.
37:02Well, when it comes to your anniversary, man, And yeah, you're cool, you know, sinking ship and whatnot. But you can buy a gift. I just wouldn't spend too much. So the first anniversary traditionally has something to do with paper. A paper. Yeah, so I wrote my wife a quite amazing poem, if I'm honest, which she still carries around with her. So that's what I did for paper. I could write her a poem. Well, it's too late because that was the first one. Yeah, that was the first one. Shit, I didn't get it ready. You missed that. So second anniversary traditionally cotton, something to do with cotton.
37:33Oh, like a tea towel or something? Tea towel, yeah. Or some cotton buds or something. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, something for it, yeah.
37:38Mike Minogue:Like a packet of cotton buds. Just on that, by the way.
37:40Keyzie:Well, actually, she could get you cotton buds for your ears. Yeah, yeah, because when you get the swimmers ear and stuff. Cotton buds. I think that what... What the hell's a cotton bud? What you're going through in the second year here is called the plateauing.
37:56Mike Minogue:Oh, that's the thing you were talking about. Yeah, yeah. You were saying you guys really struggled to get out of that.
38:00Keyzie:where you plateau and reality sinks in. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The gravity of the situation. And the reality of it. The first anniversary, it's like there's still a bit of hopes. You know, you've still got dreams. You've still got all these things that you're planning to do. Yeah, right. A year down the track, you realise none of that stuff's going to happen. Yeah. You're just on a slow decline towards pregnancy, living in the suburbs. Amen, brother. Yeah, yeah. More debt. Yeah. Glory to God. Finding each other really tedious, having separate sort of social lives. Going for walks after dinner because it helps with digestion.
38:38Keyzie:You do that. You do that. And then what starts happening is you don't even have tea anymore. You just have like a big lunch. You know what I mean? This is oddly specific now, isn't it? What? Because, you know, you don't need to have a big dinner and stuff. Yeah, and also we chatted at lunch. I don't want to chat over the dinner table, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's nothing worse, you know, than going out to dinner with your loved one and you've just got no chitter chat left. So you're just both on your phones. Yeah, you're just tapping away there. Send each other reels. And then you look over at another couple and you go, jeez, look at those losers over there.
39:10Keyzie:They've got nothing to say to each other. Yeah, right. Losers. So should I get her anything or?
39:20Mike Minogue:What are we doing here? I'll just get her the cut and buds. Yeah, get her the cut and buds. The cutting duds. What are they, by the way? Do they cut stuff, do they? I'm not sure. Okay. Cutting. Has she got you anything? No, just two years. Dinner? Any general arrangements? Has she? No, she's done nothing, actually. All right, well, then don't worry. Don't worry. It's a shit. Yeah, actually. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
39:46Keyzie:Fellas, I want to get your advice on something that I'm struggling with at the moment. You know that I've been going to the gym. Been doing that for a long time, but I've changed it up this year. Are you holding in a burp? Are you a burp man? You're a gassy son of a bee. I've gone from doing massive weights and strength work to kind of an aerobic kind of workout. I've become focused on getting my heart rate up. And the old hoity J ticket isn't quite what it used to be. And I'll be honest with you, usually I struggle to get there. Oh, do you? Yeah, well, like... To the gym. It's the before that I used to struggle with a lot, right?
40:27Keyzie:And I go, oh, God, do I really want to do this? And then I go, right, let's just forget that, shut your brain down, put the tunes on, get to the gym, get it done. Get on the cross trainer. Yeah, nice. But what I'm finding this year, because I've switched it up a bit and I hate doing aerobic stuff, is I'm still struggling with that. But usually in the past year, I'd go there and just, it wouldn't bother me and I'd get it done. Yeah. Now I'm getting there and I'm going, I still hate it. I'm like three minutes into it and I go, this sucks ass. Do you know what? Can I – sorry, I don't want to interrupt you.
41:02Yes. Can I be so bold as to say, I think potentially the reason why you don't like going to the gym is because you've got no structure and you don't see any results.
41:13Keyzie:Mate, you've clearly not seen me naked. No, my results are pretty good. But listen, I'm seriously considering roiding up. And I want to get your guys' pros and cons on that. Because I sort of feel like I roid up, I go hard, she's easy peasy. I get a bit like Moogie, you know, cut. Yeah. And looking sharp as. I know there's a few downsides. But, I mean, I just feel like if I do that, I'll get it done. And I'll get it done with enthusiasm every day. Your thoughts? Yeah. I would go for it. You reckon?
41:49Mike Minogue:Yeah, pros and cons. First pro is, you know, obviously if you're jacked, everyone loves you. Yeah, totally, totally. That's just what happens. Yeah, yeah. If you're jacked.
41:57Keyzie:Because I can start wearing those sort of tops that the big bodybuilders wear and stuff, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. I mean, my veins already kind of pop anyway, but now they'll really be popping.
42:06Mike Minogue:So that's a massive pro. Everyone will love it. You can start wearing smaller T-shirts. Totally. That's true. If you can work in, like I see Mogey doing this a lot, a lot of like shadow boxing and shadow kickboxing. Oh, yeah, yeah. Just to show people. A couple of roundhouse kicks, et cetera, et cetera.
42:18Keyzie:And I honestly believe I look better with, like, a purple complexion. Yeah. You know, where the veins are bulging. I'm looking purple. Like, the heart's really working hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With, like, grimace. Okay, well, I mean, I'm in there. I think I'll do it. I think you should. Well, there's no cons. What's the cons? It might cost a bit. Yeah, well, I mean, you know. I mean, I think you get back acne. How do you feel about needles? Oh, man, I'm pretty hardcore about that sort of stuff. You know what I mean? Sweet as. Are there needles involved, are there? Yeah, well, that's how you get the roids into your body.
42:54Oh, right. You've got to take them. Suppositories. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
42:58Keyzie:Isn't that how you normally do it? Not how I normally do it. Oh, right. You have to instruct me.
43:03Mike Minogue:So, okay. I think you do it, Jason. What was it? Your heart rate. You want to get that up? Yeah, totally. I think you still have to exercise, though. You still have to put in effort. I don't think you take steroids. It's like, have you seen that episode of South Park where Cartman eats all the protein powder? Yeah. So he never goes to the gym? And so he just gets fat? So you're saying that I still have to do it? I think you still have to put in an effort. I don't think it just puts muscles on you. Nah. For that, you'd have to go get that plastic surgery thing where they inject into you. Oh, now we're talking.
43:32You want to go and, you want, you want is, um, take some steroids. Bozzi implants. And get some bozzi implants. Biceps, triceps, abs. Abs.
43:40Keyzie:Abs. Yeah, like old mate, um, the boxer. Oscar De La Hoya's got. Tish, tish. Can you transplant those bastards, can you? Well, I don't know if it's a transplant, but you just put in some plastic in there, like fake buzies. You get that, but for all your guns and that. Yeah. How good. You'd be on to a winner there, man. Why don't you just do that? It's still very much an experimental form of surgery, but I think you'd make a great guinea pig. I reckon do that. I reckon, eh? Yeah. I've been thinking about what to do with my dog squad money and a bit of plastic surgery, a bit of roid action.
44:11Mike Minogue:Well, if you're going in to get plastic surgery, I wouldn't focus on that first. I'd probably do other areas. This is a tune, man. This is easy. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. I've got a bone to pick with you, Hoardy J. I've got a bone to pick. So I do a gaming podcast, right? Oh, yeah. So good. Extremely casual gamers. That's what it's called. It's once a week. Very casual gaming chat. Me and a couple of my mates. One of my mates wanted to start it, and I was like, yeah, I'll do it with you, man. And it's a passion project more than anything.
44:43Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah.
44:44Keyzie:You can see it too when you listen to it.
44:46Mike Minogue:Jase, this is the issue that I am having. How do you see something when you're listening to it? That doesn't make sense.
44:52Keyzie:I mean, I'm just saying you can feel the passion. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good.
44:58Mike Minogue:So we upload little videos, right? And so a guy who's on the podcast with me, he uploaded a little story to Instagram. It was like, hey, the latest episode's out, blah, blah, blah, blah. This is what we talk about. And then Jase messages me because I shared it on my story. and he goes, can't wait, bring it on. And I'm just like, Jace, stop it. And he's like, what, Keezy? I'm genuinely fizzed up for your podcast. And I'm like, I know for a fact you are not fizzed up for my podcast. I love it, Keezy. The next one here, we were talking about an old game from back in the day, L.A. Noire, it was called.
45:29Mike Minogue:We were talking about how good it was, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then he comments, it was the bomb for sure. Great stuff, fellas. I know for a fact that you, Not only have you not listened to the podcast, you don't even know what I'm talking about.
45:42Keyzie:I tell you what, back in the day, that was the game, though. Which one? Oh, it's not off the top of my head.
45:49Mike Minogue:We then uploaded a video of a new game that just came out, Kingdom Come Deliverance 2, and I was talking about the ratings and how it had gone down pretty well. Yeah. It had received, on Metacritic, 88 % Mogey. Well, not only that, if I remember the video, it was 88 % out of 100%. Yeah, yeah. See, I can tell Mogey watched it and listened. Well, I just said 88%. And then you commented, 88 % certainly pretty good. Stop taking the piss out of my gaming podcast, all right?
46:19Keyzie:Keezy, as I say, I'm getting into my gaming. Now I've even bought a gaming chair.
46:25Mike Minogue:Sorry, have you got a console or a computer yet? Or did you start with the chair?
46:30Keyzie:I put my headphones on with the little cat ears, and I listen to your guys' podcast, and it's great stuff.
46:37Mike Minogue:But you haven't bought a console. And your cat ears, did you say? Yeah. You can get these headphones that have fake cat ears. Oh, cool. How cool is that? For streaming. But can you please just like, if you are. Because it's going to be a problem here, Jase, is it might start an absolute deluge of people making those kind of comments.
46:55Keyzie:Mike. Supportive comments. Yes. Yeah. Totally. Well, I hope it does. Don't. That's what I hope happens.
47:02Mike Minogue:Let's not. You talk about muddying the waters. Let's not muddy the waters between my innocent little gaming podcast and this ridiculous show. All right? Jase?
47:12Keyzie:Jase? Oh, look, I'm going to continue to enjoy it. Jase, who are the hosts of that show? Keezy is mate and that woman.
47:23Mike Minogue:That's right. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
47:31Keyzie:Now, listen, in the first break of the show, I was addressing rumours about Hoedie J being the next Pope. They've just been floating around the place, and I just thought it was important to make a statement about it and say just nonsense, okay? It's not happening. Right, but where there's smoke, there's fire,
47:48Mike Minogue:and usually rumours can, in fact, be based on a bit of truth. That's right. So let's just pretend. Is it black smoke? You'd know, man. You're the guy who's going to be the next Pope, allegedly. So we decided to get people to text you on 3483, because I think one of the most fun parts about becoming the Pope is choosing your Pope name. Yes. Lots of great suggestions on 3483 here, Jase. All these people in the draw for a$50 rebugger voucher, which is good.
48:12Keyzie:Are they great suggestions, Jasey?
48:14Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. So, for example, we'll just start things off. Pope Nips. That's pretty good. What about two-stroke Popey J?
48:30Keyzie:Can I just address the first one? Nips is more your thing, Keezy. I'm not going to be the next Pope, man.
48:38Mike Minogue:Too strong Pope each. I don't think that's how Pope name works. Pope Honker. Yes. Yeah, Pope Proboscis has popped up here as well. Hoardy J? The 11th. Well, there's been 10 of them already, has there? What if this one's good? Pope Hoity Jizz. Hoity Jizz. Pope Da-Dooj Da-Dooj. Ouch, I hit my big honker walking into the kitchen bench.
49:08I mean, gosh.
49:14Mike Minogue:The problem is, right?
49:16Keyzie:Yeah, I know what the problem is, Gizy. I know exactly what the problem will be. Pope Moobs.
49:27Keyzie:Still my favourite at the moment is Two Stroke Popey J. Popey J. That feels like it's going to be the winner for sure. Two Stroke Popey J. Pope the Muss. Pope the Muss.
49:41Mike Minogue:Maximus Honcarus, which I believe is like Latin for massive snozz. Sure, sure. These are all great too. Keep them coming, 3483. Get yourself a$50 Reburg a voucher
49:55Keyzie:Can we give Two Stroke Popey J a voucher please? Yeah That's very good
50:00Mike Minogue:Only if you promise to lock that in as your Pope name
50:02Keyzie:Well there may be other suggestions I'm not going to lock it in right now So you are going to be the Pope And I've got to go through the conclave and all that sort of stuff It's not a done deal Kesey What is the conclave? There's a lot of politics that go on Right okay When they elect the new Pope Will you still be out of A lot of knife stabbing and sort of Knife stabbing yeah You know that sort of stuff Backstabbing. Backstabbing is what I meant to say. What about Popa Honkus?
50:27Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Fellas. Hi. G'day, Keezy here. Chris here. What's your middle name, man? I met a guy on, that's not relevant. No, I know, it's interesting, though. William.
50:41Keyzie:I knew it was William.
50:42Mike Minogue:How did I know that? Because I've probably said it before. We've worked together for a long time. Yeah, it's true. I met a guy on Saturday. Oh, that's nice, man. Good. Finally. Good stuff. So that's all out. No, don't. And technically it's not, you know, you're not breaking it.
50:59Keyzie:No, it's a guy. That is good, man. My wife was there. We've been worried sick about you, man. Yeah, yeah, thanks, fellas. Thank you. How's it feel? Is that a weight off your shoulders, brother?
51:10Mike Minogue:I thought it was going to be, except for the guy I met on Saturday. Oh, yeah. The reason I'm bringing it up is that I went to a Leaving Drinks, right? There's a group of people there. There's probably 20 people there. and I knew about seven of them. One of the people I knew was with this guy. Oh, yes. She's great. Oh, hey, it's been a long time. And I was, oh, hey, man, I'm Chris. Nice to meet you. Can't remember what his name was. He goes for a handshake. Yes. And then she says, oh, you might remember, Chris, he was doing comedy that night we went to the stand-up night. Oh. That's what she said to him.
51:44Mike Minogue:And he goes, oh, yeah, I remember you. You were the guy that was trying to be funny. And he said it, and then she laughed and went, don't be, stop being silly. And he was, the whole night he was quite a loud mouth actually and just firing off all these real out there things. But I was like, is that funny? Yeah. Or was he a massive C word? Yeah. What's your vibe on this fellas? And can I also, just to paint a little bit more of a picture, that night that they were at, my worst ever comedy gig, half full. It was one of those ones where now I'm like, now I've bombed. To be honest, he was accurate.
52:21I was trying to be funny. Because all comedians are trying to be funny. Trying to be funny, that's right. That's right.
52:24Keyzie:That's exactly what I was going to say. Yeah. You were trying to be funny. But is he... That's the thing, man. Were you trying to be funny?
52:31Mike Minogue:Well, yeah, I guess I was trying to be funny because it was a stand-up show, you know, and I was thinking about... Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I guess I was. But it's weird how he could pick you out from everyone else because everybody else would have been trying to be funny as well. Yeah, but everyone else wasn't at the leaving drinks.
52:43Keyzie:Ah, true. You know what I mean? Yes, that's true. But I sort of take his point, you know, Because there's trying to be funny and then there is funny. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I wasn't there, so I don't know if you were trying to be funny.
52:57Mike Minogue:Oh, no, I was trying to be funny. Right. And to be honest, I thought I was being funny. Okay. So he didn't say, he could have said, oh, yeah, you were funny. That's right. But he didn't say that. He said you were trying to be funny. What he could have said was, oh, hey, man, nice to meet you. Oh, yeah. You know, as opposed to like just immediately. To be fair, it's a big dog move. It's like, oh, yeah, you suck, basically. Yeah. And I'm saying this in front of this girl who they aren't together. I think he's got a crush on her, though. And I was just like, oh, he's alpha'd me there. Oh, yeah. I mean, he's dominating you.
53:26He's dominating me. You're bringing it up days later. Because I'm bringing it up days later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He big-dogged you big time. He big-dogged me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was trying to be funny. And I met a guy out of the park. He's put you on a leash. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
53:36Keyzie:I admire his honesty. Right. I mean, one of the issues that we have in this world is people just aren't straight up about what they think or feel. Right, so you think we should do more of that. He was like... Right, should we do more of that? He was like, oh, yeah, you were that guy trying to be funny. That's not how he said it, by the way. How did he say it?
54:01Mike Minogue:He said it as in, oh, yeah, you were the guy trying to be funny. Right. Like that. And what did you say? I said, oh, yeah, I guess so. And then, you know what I mean? Like a real coward. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, you'd just be massively big dogs.
54:15Keyzie:Yeah.
54:15Mike Minogue:Yeah. I had the collar on and everything. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I just wanted to get your vibe on that. How would you guys have responded if that was you? Well, it wouldn't have happened to me. Yeah, I mean, he wouldn't have said it to me. Yeah, because he wouldn't leave the house.
54:33Mike Minogue:Because he wouldn't go to a social situation. What's the name of the song, Jase? Can you stop giggling under the song? It's big. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. The whole world is a stage. What are you guys up to? Acting chat with Jase and Mike. So you guys are actors, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. How long have you been doing that?
55:08Keyzie:20-odd years, Keezy. Really? Well, actually, if you go back to my teens when I was acting, probably longer than that, 30-odd years. Yeah, right, okay. Truth. About 15 or so. Yeah, right, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
55:20Mike Minogue:So tomorrow I have been asked to be part of a production which involves me to learn some lines. Now, the production is for children.
55:30Keyzie:I'll just stop you there. Sorry, who asked you this? It's your agent I'm asking. You organised it for me.
55:38Mike Minogue:Oh, right, that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Great agent, literally forgets getting me stuff and then I bring it up. Oh, there's just been so much of it. Remember, I get paid nothing and you... Yeah, carry on. You sound as good exposure.
55:49Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, it is.
55:52Mike Minogue:So tomorrow I have to be part of a production. It is comedy-based. It is for children to view. Yes. So I'm thinking a bit of melodrama. I have to play the role of a commentator. How important is it to learn your lines word for word? Do you have to learn them word for word or can you just sort of loosey-goosey your way through it? I just, yeah. Don't even bother.
56:13Keyzie:I just vibe with it on the day. Absolutely. It's all about getting the vibe of the script. Just the vibe. This is why Mogi and I have been doing all this improvise sort of work with you, so that when you're on set, you can sort of throw the script away a little bit and just go with the general vibe of it. And I tell you what, nothing impresses directors, et cetera, and crew more than an actor that doesn't do the lines but actually just riffs his own kind of thing. No two takes are the same, they love it Yeah, absolutely
56:47Mike Minogue:Right, okay, because I just think if I was a writer, for example And I'd written this great script And then the actor threw it out Even if it was brilliant, I'd be a wee bit put off by that Script is a starting place
56:59Keyzie:Yeah, it's a rough guideline That's right And when you say a writer, they're writing for kids So they won't be great No, that's right, and also you've got to remember that To an actor, a writer is nothing
57:11Mike Minogue:Right, so they're garbage and I'm the big star. That's right.
57:15Keyzie:I mean, writers are just sitting there in their little dank rooms with a cask of red wine, tapping away, going, oh, this is so good. This is so good. Yeah, the first, what you want to do is you want to get onto the set and then you want to say, who wrote this crap? Exactly. I'd be stronger than that and say, who wrote this shit?
57:32Mike Minogue:Right.
57:33Keyzie:Yeah.
57:33Mike Minogue:So, because I was going to ask, how do you learn lines? That was what I was going to ask. It's like, do you have any, like, things you do to drill them into your brain? But you don't think I should even learn the lines? No. No. The gist of it though, right? Because you need to get from the scene, start of the scene to the end.
57:48Keyzie:What I've done my whole career is I'll give one look to the script, get the vibe of the scene and then just take it from there. Yeah. Right. Yeah, yeah. I mean, who's expected to know the character better? You, who is the character, or the person who wrote it? Who isn't the character?
58:06Mike Minogue:Yeah, right, because my instinct says the second person, but because you're saying it, I think I should know. But you are the character. I am the character. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
58:12Keyzie:You've got to let go of those instincts, Kesey. They're leading you down the wrong path. All right. Okay.
58:16Mike Minogue:Thanks, fellas. Yeah, yeah. You wouldn't put me wrong, would you? Let us know how you go. Yeah, yeah.
58:20Keyzie:Let us know how you get on.
58:22Mike Minogue:Well, I want to be asked back for more, Jay, so that you can get more commission, man, you know? Yeah, totes. So you think this is the way to do it? Oh, totally. All right. Thanks, fellas. I really appreciate that. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.
58:35Keyzie:Talking New Year's resolutions. Mogi's given up the piss, the durries. I'm learning the piano in an entire album. What are you up to, Keezy?
58:44Mike Minogue:Just on Mogie's one. Because you're giving up the durries and the booze when you're in New Zealand. Yes. Because there's a few trips and things coming up where you could be swayed to... I will be swayed. But Oasis 100%. So I'm going to Oasis at Wembley and then possibly a week with my wife prior to that in Italy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not drinking soda water. The wine in Italy is amazing. Exactly. I bet the darts are good as well. Yeah, they are. True. How does this text make you feel, though? Come on, Moggy, man. Have a couple of beersies on a Friday, you backbone. Yeah, well, look, I completely agree.
59:19And if I could keep it to a couple of beers on a Friday, I would, but I can't.
59:23Mike Minogue:Yeah, sure. You can't responsibly do that. I can keep it to 50 beers on Friday and 60 on Saturday. Responsibly. Responsibly. Yeah, totally. I hear you. Surely Hoity J's resolution is to actually win the throbber? Nah. Because I've won it now and Moggy's won it.
59:37Keyzie:Nah. Whatever. But there won't be any thoughts of Throbbers. There'll just be thoughts of how beautifully I play the piano. Yeah, totally. My New Year's resolution's a bit different this year, fellas.
59:53Mike Minogue:Last year the resolution was to build a deck on my house. Yeah. I was all lined up to do it. On your house? At my house. Oh. Off the front of my house there. And unfortunately the week came to do it and my dad got sick. He was the one who was going to help me and teach me how to do it. Build it. Oh, so your New Year's resolution was for your dad to build your deck. Dad to build your deck. Did you have anything for yourself, though? Because that's a resolution you've made for somebody else. Well, no, he was going to teach me and I was going to build it. He was just going to get me started and I was going to, you know, finish the job.
1:00:23Sure.
1:00:25Mike Minogue:But that never happened, you know. So hopefully I can do that this year. But that's not a resolution I've decided. My resolution this year is I want 2025 to be the best year of my life so far. Okay. And what steps do you think you're putting? and I'm like, what are you actually going to do? Oh, I don't know what I'm going to do. What is going to make it good? Well, for example, I mean, a better question, what was the best year of your life so far, leading up until this year? Probably the year I got married, 2022. That's not what you say off air. Do you remember that, Jase? Do you remember that wedding?
1:00:5623, sorry. Yeah, it was beautiful. No, you guys weren't invited. You weren't invited.
1:01:00Keyzie:Oh, yeah, I know.
1:01:01Mike Minogue:Yeah, you guys weren't invited. So that was probably the best year of my life. What I wanted to be able to do is get to the end of this year and look back and be proud of what I've achieved.
1:01:09Keyzie:Oh, sure. What? That's really good, Keezy. Yeah, man. What sort of stuff? So golf? Yeah, yeah. Golf maybe.
1:01:18Mike Minogue:I'd love to shave sort of five off my handicap in golf, right? So that's one. That's measurable. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you written this goal down, man? No, I'll do it now. Make sure you write it down. Yeah, it's good. I'd like, for when we look back at like our radio from the year, what we've done on the big show, I'd love to be like, wow, we really turned it up a notch. That's miserable as well, isn't it? Because they do surveys and ratings and stuff. Probably lose a few pounds.
1:01:50Mike Minogue:Mainly the radio one, though. I'd love to, you know, and starting with resolutions chat in mid-Jan, you know, we're on a pathway to greatness already, I could tell, so. Have you thought about getting rid of the Mo? Well, that's not going to improve anything. That's going to make things way worse.
1:02:11Mike Minogue:But, yeah, I just want to be proud at the end of the year, you know? Yeah, man. I want to be proud. Sure, man. Yeah.
1:02:16Keyzie:Going to get some more wacky caps.
1:02:19Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.
From the publisher
On today's best moments of 2025, we relive our insane Brissy trip, act out some improv, and name Hoytey J as our next pope.
We'll be back on the 16th of January, 2026!
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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.
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