BEST OF '25: The Chip Thief

10:59Keyzie:I don't like the pressure of the tip situation. Oh, we're not getting into that. Sorry, are you still talking about going wheeze? No, no, just, you know, restaurant stuff.

11:09Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

11:10Keyzie:We're not doing tips.

11:12Mike Minogue:No tips in New Zealand. New Zealand doesn't tip. Get rid of the tip thing.

11:15Keyzie:I think we're all emphatic. Just suck it up and let us pay however we want to, all right? I kind of get it if it's super, super busy and there's a big, you know, people are lined up. but it's just, it's kind of, it is what it is, isn't it? Yeah.

11:26Mike Minogue:I think personally, I'd put a limit at maybe six people. If there's more than six, I would say someone just pay for it and then put a photo of the receipt on a group chat or something. I know, I think there actually is an app that you can get for this very purpose where you can split the bill and everybody gets invited to it and you can, I'll look that up. We'll have a chat about that later in the show. Okay, cool.

11:44Keyzie:Mind you, having said that, your idea of putting it on the sort of group app, you've done that before, aren't we? Group chat, yeah. A group chat where you've ended up paying for heaps of stuff. And then you put the receipt up. That's exactly what we do. And you keep going, hey, fellas, I'll put that receipt up. I'm wondering about the oldie. Yeah, I have done that before. If you don't mind at some stage. I think that's a good way of doing it.

12:06Mike Minogue:Yeah, thanks, fellas. This just reminds me, actually, Hoidi J, you still owe all of us and our partners a free dinner. That's true. Absolutely, I do.

12:14Keyzie:Yeah, so am I, actually. It should be fun. I'll tell you what really gets my goat, though, tips.

12:18Mike Minogue:We're not talking about tips. The Hauraki Big Show. weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

12:25Keyzie:We live in a magnificent country, don't we? And it's known for its dairy and its agriculture, for its abundance, may I say. Fellas. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I thought that was... Oh, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. So why is it then, why is it that butter in this beautiful country costs such a fortune? It's such a great question, Jase. And as a result of that, we've got our rural expert. Yeah. Dez Dalgetty. Oh, great. Yep.

12:54Mike Minogue:You haven't met him, Jason. No, I haven't met Dez. So he's a horse trainer. We called him over in Australia a couple of weeks, but it turns out he's actually from New Zealand. Yeah. And he's a rural correspondent, and he's agreed to come on the show every now and then whenever we need some rural chat, you know what I mean?

13:06Keyzie:Oh, great stuff. Good stuff, all right.

13:08Mike Minogue:And Pugs has even made him a new sting. Check this out.

13:14The Big Show's rural correspondent, Dez Dalgetty. G'day, Dez. How are you, man? Yeah, going pretty good there, eh? That bloody pose is onto it, eh? It's James, eh? Gee, that's bloody technical genius he's got there with that stinger. Yeah. What are you calling, eh? It is a sting, yeah. You like your theme music there, Dez? Yeah, he's pretty flash, are you? That's old pugs.

13:38Mike Minogue:Yeah, because that's off the old country calendar, eh? That's right, mate. Nothing gets past you. Yeah. Yeah, just wanted to ask you, Dez, what's the guts with the rise in dairy costs? I see the old butter there. It's gone up 60 % from last year. Oh, mate, I know it's bloody expensive, eh? But what are you going to do, mate? It's like, I was just reading in the paper the other day, I think you said there yourself there, Michael. It's gone up 60 % year on year, and that's bloody ridiculous, eh? But that's the thing when you're a farmer, mate. You know, you've got to make your money where you can, and sometimes the consumer's just going to have to suffer, eh?

14:17Keyzie:Well, g'day, Des. It's Hoidi Jay here. Great to meet you. Who's that? Hoity J there, Dez. Hoity J? Oh, Jason. Yeah, g'day, mate. Yeah, g'day, mate. You've been over in Vietnam, eh? Yeah, Vietnam. Have you heard about that, have you? Yeah, man. You bloody butter cheap over there. I spent a lot of time in Vietnam. Oh, you did? Were you on one of those sex tours? Was I on a sex tour? One of those sex tours that they have over there, eh? No, no, she wasn't a sex tour, Des. No sex tours going on. Oh, yeah, I get you. Mum's a word, mate. Mum's a word. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hey, Des, I just wanted to ask, mate, who benefits from these massive price hikes?

15:06Keyzie:Is it you backbone farmers? Oh, it is the farmers. Yeah, when the prices go up, mate, it's the farmers. They're shocking bastards, eh? They love saying that their backbones and all that sort of carry on, mate, but they're shocking, mate. They take all the money and they buy up all the bloody land, mate.

15:23Mike Minogue:Right. You shocking bastards. Sorry, Dez, it's Keezy here again, mate. G'day, Chris. Hi, Dez. Just promise me, mate, all right? Just promise me something. You've got to be bloody careful when you go on these sex tours, all right, mate? Can you hear me, Chris? No, I haven't gone on a sex tour, Dez. When you go on these six tours to Asia or wherever it is, it doesn't matter where it is, all right, mate. You've got to just promise me, mate, promise me, you rubber up. You've got to rubber up, mate, all right? That's all I'm saying, all right? Yeah, I promise, Des. I hear what you're saying. Anyway, we've got to go, mate, all right?

16:03All right, mate. Thanks, Des. Lots to do. Thanks, mate.

16:07Keyzie:I'll tell you what. He's a good bastard. Yeah, he's a good bastard. Actually, you should just ask old Pugsan for a few rubbers there, Keezy. I'm going to go, fellas. Oh, he's back. Oh, he's still there. God, he's still there. Okay, Dez, all right. Talk soon, man. Thanks, mate. Up the wires.

16:21Mike Minogue:Oh, up the wires, Dez. Good on you, man. You're all right. That's your first time meeting, Dez, eh, James? Yeah, totally, yeah. You've got to rub her up, eh? Oh, God. Are you still? That's one of the main rules. That's what I always told my boys, eh? You've got to rub her up. Double rubber. You know, mate. You've got to rub her up, eh, guys? Okay. Yeah, thanks, Des. Okay, man. All right. Gotta go. We'll see you later. All right. Catch you later, Des. All right. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

16:50Keyzie:We've had an interesting situation occur where basically the basic premise of it is I've been betrayed by a fellow member of the Big Show. And I was also recently betrayed by a member of the Hauraki staff.

17:06Mike Minogue:You're right, Jase.

17:06Keyzie:And when I say betrayed, I mean people filming me when I was unaware that I was being filmed and then publishing said film to the general public without Hoity J's consent. That's right.

17:18Mike Minogue:So you're referring to the ACC has an office here near Hauraki. Inside that office is several boxes of chips, chippies, big bags, snack-a-changy delicious. Every day almost, Hoity J goes in there and grabs a bag for himself. That's inaccurate. Hear it? Yeah, we have a little bit sometimes when we can bloody get in there. Jesus. And so they've actually asked for that to stop happening, and they've also been asking people to take photos of you doing it. They've left signs there that say, Hoity J, don't touch our chips. It doesn't work. You still go in there. Specifically got your name on it, doesn't it, mate?

17:53Keyzie:Here's the thing. You know, I'm a team player, and I'll always take one for the team. And day after day, there is some accuracy in what Kesey is saying. there's piles of chips in a room not far from the studio and that's a very tempting scenario for Hoity J, I'll admit it. And I say to the fellas who partake in the stolen chips, hey, maybe one of you guys should steal them, to which there is a deafening silence. That's right. So it's left to Hoity J to then go and steal said chips and then, to make matters worse, I'm betrayed by Pugsam filming me doing such a thing and then threatening to publish it on Instagram.

18:36Keyzie:Hello.

18:36Mike Minogue:Pugsun's here, by the way. Hi.

18:38Keyzie:What do you reckon the problem is then? Do you reckon the problem is that Pugsun's filming you or that you're stealing the chips? Stealing the chips is fine. I mean, what we do in the studio stays in the studio. But you're doing it.

18:50Mike Minogue:It's sort of not in the studio.

18:54Keyzie:It's sort of out in the office there. What I'm finding, the grossest betrayal, is that he's doing it under, in disguise almost. He's catching me when I'm not looking and then publishing those videos and making me look like a real piece of work.

19:10Mike Minogue:It was a photo that's been posted, right? We posted a photo a few days ago. That wasn't even Pugs, that was Joel. That was our online guy who's notorious for this sort of thing. He's seen a member of the Horeki staff, but not because he was protecting the identity of the member of staff. He couldn't remember his name. Yeah, know his name, which is classic. He's worked there for about five years. Pugsan, however, filmed you, was it yesterday or the day before? He followed you into the office. It was like security camera footage of you rummaging through boxes, pulling out chips. Incriminating. It's hugely incriminating.

19:39Mike Minogue:It's also quite entertaining. And so the discussion is, can we please post that on our social media, our Instagram or our Facebook, so that people can laugh at it, Jase. However, you are saying, no, he's not allowed to post it. Yes, I am. Why?

19:50Keyzie:because you guys are forgetting the conversation we had previous to me stealing the chips, which was you guys wanting chips and you were like, hoity J, go and steal us some chips. I am more than happy to take some of the responsibility. Thanks, Moggy. I am a massive chip enthusiast as well. And so I'll be honest with you, I actually said to you, we're making the mistake of going to the top box of chips. We need to go three boxes down, open that box up, start raiding that box, and by the time they find out that it's been raided, you know, it's weeks down the track. We give ourselves some breathing room before we get busted.

20:31Keyzie:Which was a brilliant idea, by the way, Mogi, and I did exactly that. So I got to the fourth box in the bottom, I opened it up and I was rummaging around in there, and they were just little packets of chips, not your big packets. You'll see in the video, Jase pulls out a tiny...

20:46Mike Minogue:When you see the video, you'll see Jase pulls out a small packet of chips and then stuffs it back in the box. It's not big enough. So, Jase, what do we have to do to post this video, man? Because we need you to approve it because that's important to us.

20:59Keyzie:Put it to the big poll, and if there's a 95 % response, then it should be 90%. Well, 70? Oh, it's got to be 90. Really? Okay, 90. Look, if it's not 100, then I don't know what our supporters out there are doing, our fans are doing. 90. Why would you vote no? What kind of a human would not want to see? Because you respect Hoity J's privacy. Exactly, that's what I'm saying. So it could be as high as 100%.

21:23Mike Minogue:The vote needs to be, should we release the video of Hoity J stealing chips or the other side is, or shall we respect his privacy? Okay. Because I think I know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold up your big show. And let me just say, you want to see this video. It's stupid. It's red-handed stuff, isn't it? It's out the gate. Jace is, mate, you're 43, man. It's shocking behaviour for a man of your age. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

21:54Keyzie:Devastating day for the big show. Taken down by the breakfast team in the 4x100 relay. Some very sore bodies and sad fellows in the studio at the moment. But we gave it our best shot. It just wasn't good enough.

22:08Mike Minogue:Yeah. We've got Jeremy Wells in coach of the winning team. Gerry, you no longer have to work next Friday morning. No, that's so... Thanks for reminding me of that, Keezy. Yeah, especially... I have been informed as well that the night before, it's the Radio Awards. That's right. And so, you know, always for the Breakfast team, it's always tough. Sometimes, actually, I remember a few years ago, Matt Heath slept in this very studio, got about two hours sleep the night of the Radio Awards because he didn't want to go home. So just maybe an hour's sleep there, just under where Jace's feet are. So this time around, it's going to be great, Manon.

22:45I can really tie one on, knowing full well that a firm, steady hand is going to be there the next day to take the horeki breakfast through for the next few hours.

22:58Keyzie:Well, we actually said to Keezy, because he will be going to the Radio Awards, we probably all will, but that he should just not go to bed. And the big difference there, of course, Matt Heath didn't go to bed and did the show. I heard that show.

23:11Mike Minogue:It was terrible.

23:12Keyzie:Yeah, and then, but it's even worse for us because then we've got to go do our show later in the afternoon. So I reckon we just make it a party day for the big show. What do you say for us? Well, what about you guys just go, I reckon just do 12 hours on air. Why not turn it into some kind of... Like a wacky John and Ben type situation. Yeah, like a big show marathon. Yeah, we should do that. I don't see why the audience should be punished that heavily for our failure. It was a hell of a race today. How was it from your vantage point? You obviously commentated, Jerry, but when you've seen, you know, what was it looking like?

23:48I've overtaken Ruda. I don't know what kind of a lead I had, but how was it feeling in your gut at that changeover? Yeah, well, straight out of the blocks, Ruda, it was clear that Ruda was not fast at all, and you overtook him within about 30 metres. And interestingly, he said to me afterwards, I thought I was going quite well, and then Mike Minogue overtook me, and then I realised I had to run faster, and I said to him, the idea of sprinting is you run as fast as you can from the start. It hadn't sort of occurred to him that that was what you meant to do. So you had a huge advantage there immediately over Ruda.

24:20Ruda then changed to Minaya. At that point, that's when Kesey obviously did his quad, and obviously everything changed at that stage. But the lead was massive. I reckon it was a 20 or 30 metre lead at that stage, remarkably.

24:34Keyzie:I reckon it would have got to a good 40 metres, and I'll be directly honest with you here, Gerry, that was our plan because of the huge liability of Hoity J. We needed about 30 to 40 metres, we reckoned, and I reckon we would have comfortably got that. Unfortunately, that's not how things unfolded. And this will all be in the retelling as the years go by. We'll retell the story, what may have been. And impressively as well, the Zola Bhatt of your team, Pugs, running in bare feet. And he overtook Zoe around the outside, around the back straight. Managed to regain the lead. Yeah, he had it on Zoe.

25:12I think, look, Mike Minogue, I think you had it on Ruder, clearly. That's not hard. I think Kesey had it on Minaya. I think Pugs had it on Zoe. Zoe. Yep. And I think probably ACC head G-Lane would have had it on Hoity J, which would have made for a very close race. Well, the only thing I would say is that I would rather Kesey's quad blew out than Jase's heart. Yeah. There was a defib machine there sitting, standing by. There was a risk of it. And there was a lot of concern around that.

25:42Mike Minogue:Well, that's right. We have to give a big shout out to St. John, Hato Hone as well. They came down. There were three of them there. They had a wheelchair, which unfortunately I put to good use. I mean, nobody thought they would be using their wheelchair. Yeah. A bit of a comedy prop there.

25:56Keyzie:I've got to admit that, you know, when I arrived and I saw the St. John there, I knew they were going to be there, but it just gave me more anxiety, to be honest. 100%. I was just like, oh, God. Well, what was funny is that they were trying to test your blood pressure before the race, and then you refused because you thought that by testing your blood pressure, it would give you high blood pressure. It does, yeah. It would give me more high blood pressure.

26:17Mike Minogue:Yeah. All I can say is, look, if you're ever planning on running an event, you've got blokes around. I was going to say blokes like Hoardy J, but even just guys in their 30s like me, then you can call Hathohone St. John 0804 events, get them there, medical cover, because they looked after me afterwards. They could have been saving actual people's lives and they had a radio guy in a wheelchair. Now, there's going to be plenty of content that comes out from this. There'll be a lot of video footage. There'll be a lot of chat. There'll be all sorts of podcasts and God knows what else. There's probably going to be books.

26:47I can see the ACC tuning out a book in time for Christmas. But I do just want to give credit to Keezy here, mate, because obviously you're feeling really down. You're blaming yourself, all that sort of stuff. It means a lot. You want to win and that stuff is all well and good and hopefully you'll get over that because we don't blame you at all. No. The fact of the matter is that 20 metres into that run, you blew a muscle and you kept on going. You didn't stop. You kept on going, running on a buggered leg. You did not give up, and I think that deserves a huge amount of respect. Oh, thanks, guys.

27:17Because Hoity J gave up immediately.

27:19Mike Minogue:As soon as he was overtaken.

27:21Keyzie:Can I just say, though, that because of when I took off way too quickly, which was never my plan. And then I had to stop because I ran out of runway to take the baton. I had to stop. So you had to stop and take it. And then I had to take the baton and take off again. And both of my thighs went. Oh, hang on. Don't give away a minute. Oh, f***. And I knew I was gone. I knew I was gone. Is that what happened?

27:48Mike Minogue:Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, look, congratulations, Gerry. Yeah, well done, man. Well deserved. You won the second challenge. It's officially 2-0 breakfast over the big show. and we will cover your show next Friday. Yeah, well, good luck with that, you guys. And just let me know if you need me to help you set an alarm for five o 'clock in the morning. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.