BEST OF THE BIG SHOW: Our Biggest Honker

7:16Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. Voo Fighters on the Hauraki Big Show. It is Friday afternoon with Keezy and Pugs. The full show back this coming Monday along with the GOAT countdown which gets underway at 8am sharp. Still a couple of days left to vote. If you'd like to vote for your favourite songs and get them in the countdown, text the word GOAT right now to 3483 or head to hauraki.co.nz. Right now it's time for The Daily Goat.

7:44Keyzie:With me, Teezy. And me, Pong.

7:50Jason Hoyte:That will never get old for me, unfortunately. No. You watched me make that sting too. You were in Studio V at the time when I was putting it together and the inspiration was like lightning through my veins.

8:00Mike Minogue:What I like about it is it's like super heavy and sick and then the worst voice ever saying our names. Sorry, did you say worst?

8:08Jason Hoyte:Yeah, the worst. Yeah, yeah. No, I think it meant... Best? Yeah. Yeah, the GOAT. Yeah.

8:13Mike Minogue:So if you don't know what the Daily GOAT is, we are every single day picking a category. Yesterday's category was the GOAT wrestling entrance music song. So if we were wrestlers, what songs would we run out to? We had the voting up on the Hauraki Big Show's Instagram story. I chose Metallica Pugs. You chose Limp Bizkit. It's time to reveal who won that matchup.

8:33Jason Hoyte:Okay, winning with 54 % of your votes on the Hauraki Big Show Instagram story. We're in another close one.

8:42Keyzie:Oh,

8:46Jason Hoyte:Liv Biscuit.

8:46Keyzie:That's how you do it. That's how you do it.

8:48Mike Minogue:Pugs, have you won all three so far?

8:52Jason Hoyte:Yes, I have, actually. But, you know, I wasn't thinking about that. It hadn't even crossed my mind, Keezy, that I won. Sure it hasn't.

8:58Mike Minogue:Sort of in a row, you know. Well, well done, mate. Thanks, man. You've got really great taste in music, and I'm not at all bitter about it. I can't believe Liv Biscuit beat Metallica. Come on, people. But it's all about today's Daily Goat, and today's one is karaoke slash singalongs. We've had some excellent suggestions coming through on 3483 Pugs. This one here is a classic, of course. Living on a Prayer, Bon Jovi. Of course.

9:24Jason Hoyte:Yeah, that's a classic, man.

9:29Jason Hoyte:That's a pub karaoke classic as opposed to like a karaoke room classic. Do you know what I mean?

9:34Mike Minogue:Yes, and it's one of those ones where you don't realise how high Jon Bon Jovi is going, and it's very hard to keep up with him. Of course, you can't have sing-alongs without Oasis. This one coming through from Jackson. Don't look back in here. Don't look back in here. Don't look back in here. Don't look back in here. She knows it's too late as she's walking on by.

9:55Jason Hoyte:That song made for a crowd. Made for a crowd.

9:58Mike Minogue:That and Wonderwall, man. They both go off. Absolutely. Great suggestion from Nikita in Christchurch. The Cranberries Zombie.

10:15Mike Minogue:Tune, man. When you're steamed and you're singing that song, you can really get quite sloppy with it, which is always a great sign. You love getting sloppy with it, man. You know, especially if your mum's there. Hey, shout out to every single text through who sent Sweet Caroline. We had quite a few of them Which is one of the all time great singalongs But Pugs I'll go first today With my greatest of all time singalong tune From Queen Play it

10:56Jason Hoyte:That's a great tune Casey

10:57Mike Minogue:It's an amazing tune Thank you Queen Keeping up with Freddie Mercury is tough

11:02Jason Hoyte:Yeah, it's good. Queen, I thought about doing Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, but I thought, you know, that's sort of been done, but I had not thought of Don't Stop Me Now, so I can't argue with that, man. You've done bloody well there. I have gone for a complete pivot from you, and somebody else on the text machine actually shared it with me, Julie. Shout out, Julie. We both picked this bad boy.

11:23Keyzie:Because I'm just a teenage dude, baby. Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby.

11:33Jason Hoyte:Absolute tune. That is Wheatus Teenage Dirtbag. Yeah. That's my goat karaoke song.

11:39Mike Minogue:To be honest, I absolutely love that song as well. Really hard part at the end where it's just, I've got two tickets to add. That's the best bit.

11:46Jason Hoyte:Well, it sounds like it's not hard for you, brother. You're like an angel.

11:49Mike Minogue:Thanks, bro. Thank you. I've got the falsetto down. Let us know your thoughts. Text us 3483. Would you rather Wheatus Teenage Dirtbag or don't stop me now from Queen, the official vote happens on the Hauraki Big Show's Instagram story. So head there and don't forget every single text on 3483. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Hauraki Big Show, Friday afternoon with Keezy and Pugsan, full show back Monday and I am bloody fizzed up.

12:15Jason Hoyte:Keezy, I've been house-sitting for Hoody J over the last three days and we're on my final night.

12:21Mike Minogue:Yeah.

12:21Jason Hoyte:And I'm a little bit sad. I've been really enjoying hanging out with Jizz all night long. His cat, yeah, yeah. Yeah, his cat Jizz at the Jizz Palace there. And I thought, you know what? It's been a really, really great time. My partner's actually just gone away to where she lives and back home. And so I thought, why not have a little bit of a small get together, have a few people around at the Jizz Palace. Jace isn't here. He doesn't have to know. We know he's not listening to the show, right? Yeah, but also, even if he does know that it's happening, what's he going to do about it? What, he's going to drive all the way back down from up north?

12:52Jason Hoyte:I don't think so. Nah, shit no. No. Shit no. And I reckon I can handle a bit of a shindig. So I thought I would put it to the people on the Hauraki Big Show Instagram story and to you now on 3483 with$50 Reburger vouchers up for grabs. What would you offer if you were to get an invite to Horty J's place? What would it take for you to get that invite?

13:11Mike Minogue:Also, just on that as well, Pugs, you know, like a show of interest too. Are you keen to come to a party at Horty J's apartment? How many people are you going to bring with you? Just because I want this. If we're going to do this thing, because I'm keen. I don't have anything on tonight. I'm keen to make it a massive one. No, I was thinking maybe just like me and a few. Pugs. Just like people I know personally. You can't have a party at the Jizz Palace without old Keezy being there, all right?

13:35Jason Hoyte:So I'll start packing. I'll be over shortly. Yeah, you're right at home in the Jizz Palace, eh? The hell is that supposed to mean? Huh? A few people have gotten in touch already on the Horeki Big Show Instagram page with what they would bring or what they could offer in order to get an invite. for example Ryland said he'd bring a big old hot pot now it's probably it's on theme for the Jizz Palace but you need to remember Jace is not there and while I love hot pot too it's more of a hoity Jizz thing

14:01Mike Minogue:so you're saying no to Ryland's hot pot you don't want him there

14:03Jason Hoyte:no no I like the hot pot I'm just saying like let's remember Jace is not going to be involved in any way right okay

14:08Mike Minogue:it feels like you're setting a lot of rules around it just doesn't seem like a cool party well it's my party Keezy

14:13Jason Hoyte:well exactly hang on

14:14Mike Minogue:do you want to go or not what do you mean do I want to go I know where he lives yeah I'm just going to be there

14:19Jason Hoyte:I'm going to show up there and we'll be kicking down the door. Someone said, Michael said, a beach towel in case old Keezy needs to blow his massive hunger. Okay. It's not Michael Minogue by any chance. If you're going to be there. Yeah. Then you should probably have a towel just in case, brother. Pugs, look at this nose right now. Does it require a beach towel or just a regular Kleenex? Sort of more of a tarpaulin. Somebody said, Vietnamese durries for pugs and dumplings for old Keezy. There you go, mate. Cool. So someone's bringing me dumplings. Yes. That sounds great, actually. Is anyone bringing any booze or are we just eating?

14:50Jason Hoyte:Someone said a petting zoo. A petting zoo. I think that's a really nice touch. And Hamish here said he'd bring$13.69, which is pretty good because we could put that towards like one beer or something.

15:01Mike Minogue:One beer. Okay, so we've got one beer, some dumplings, and a beach towel, and a few backbones. 100%, man. We're going to have to wrap this thing up. So 3483, who's coming to the party at Hoity J's house? How many mates are you bringing? What booze are you bringing? What else do you want to bring? What do you want to see there? Let us know every single text in the draw for 50 bucks worth of Reburger. Ah, God, this white stripes hell yeah. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Guns. Roses on the Hauraki Big Show. Friday afternoon with Keezy and Pugsan. It's Chat TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

15:45Mike Minogue:Yeah. Good stuff. Of course, no mogi here. That doesn't matter. We're still going to review TV, and this is my TV review, Pugs. Last night, I didn't watch TV because I went out for dinner with my parents and my brother, had some wholesome chit-chat, and then tonight, my brother and I are going to watch two games of NRL, and we're going to eat pizza, and it's going to be wholesome as well. It's a real boys' type weekend, man. It is, 100%. Haven't done it in a while. We spent a couple of hours today as well jamming a classic video game from our childhood, Crash Team Racing. One of the great video games of all time, I would say.

16:19Mike Minogue:And if you're sort of in your 30s or whatever, you might have jammed Mario Kart or something along those lines. But whenever I get back together with my brother, we always have to verse each other at Crash Team Racing. I won. But what have you been watching there, Pugs?

16:31Jason Hoyte:I watched a movie that was one of my favourite films that I watched this year. And I watched it maybe like a couple of weeks ago, but it's about time I got to talking about it. The Stranger. It came out in 2022. And I'll do the hoody J and I'll read the description. two men who meet on a bus strike up a conversation that turns into friendship. For Henry Teague, worn down by a lifetime of physical labor and crime, this is a dream come true. That doesn't really get into it. Without spoiling anything, essentially the whole thing's in operation by undercover agents to set up a friendship between this agent and this guy who is accused or allegedly kidnapped a boy a few years back.

17:12Jason Hoyte:Right, okay. And he's just got out of prison, and so he's looking for new foundations and so he makes friends with this guy. It is a real hoity J type movie and what I mean by that is you know how he likes real moody, psychological, that kind of stuff? Like the real pensive, troubled cops.

17:32Mike Minogue:Yeah, this guy's an amazing detective but he's a massive alcoholic and has a few skeletons and that sort of thing.

17:38Jason Hoyte:Yes, but what I will give full credit to this for is that it doesn't fall into those tropes. Like yeah the guy's trouble but it doesn't spend too much time focusing on it. It is totally grounded. It feels completely realistic which is helped by the Australian actors and stuff like that. And everybody, Joel Egerton is unbelievable in it. The guy who plays Henry Teague, what's his name here? Sean Harris, he's in some of the Mission Impossible movies as a villain. Unbelievable. It is a creepy, grounded moody film. I give it a good I give it 3.9 to 4 buzies out of a possible 5. I loved it and it was on Netflix.

18:20Jason Hoyte:Wow, okay. And what was it called? The Stranger. The Stranger. Joel Egerton is an unbelievably underrated actor. Yeah, right. What else has he been in? His name rings a bell. He's in The Gift, which is an American movie, another psychological thriller with Jason Bateman. He's in a few things. Right, okay.

18:35Mike Minogue:You described it as a hoity J type film and then you said it was creepy and moody. Yeah, a hoity J type film. That's correct. You're right on the money there, Pugsun. Well done. Thank you. What song are we going into here, Pugsun?

18:48Jason Hoyte:Oh, is this Pluto?

18:53Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

19:02Keyzie:It's the Hauraki Big Show's Friday Throbber.

19:07Mike Minogue:Douche, douche. Douche. Ah, damn it. Daisy. The Friday Throbber where three of us go head to head, but there's only two of us, Keezy and Pugs, the full show back Monday. But in the meantime, we don't need Hoity J and Mogey to do a throbber. Got a couple of young fellas throbbing right here right now. Am I right, Pugs?

19:24Jason Hoyte:You're exactly right, Keezy. I would argue that because it's us younger fellas, then we're almost better at getting a throbber.

19:30Mike Minogue:Our throbbers are more guaranteed. We've got them ready to go. Those old boys do need a bit of notice. A bit of working up, yeah. Yeah, especially Hoity J. He needs all day. That's it, Ben. To get his throbber ready. All right, if you don't know what the throbber is, by the way, we each pick a song, you play a little snippet of it. You then call us on 0800 Hauraki and vote for which one of those songs you want heard in full. And the idea of a throbber is to get your weekend off to a rip-roaring start. It's meant to be a big tune. Pugs, I'll let you go first on this one, mate.

20:01Jason Hoyte:All righty, mate. I have gone with the band from Wellington, New Zealand. This is One Outs Captain Cook from Darts. I'm full of anger and now I'm full of tucker.

20:09Mike Minogue:It's time to tear down this Bronx motherf***er battle.

20:12Keyzie:One out. Captain Cook. We've got one out. Captain Cook. We've got one out. Captain Cook.

20:23Jason Hoyte:I'm ready to one out to Captain Cook, man.

20:25Mike Minogue:I love that. Darts are a great band. We don't play enough of them, to be honest. 100 % agree. We've hit them in on the show a few times. Lovely boys. Lovely boys. I know there'll be a lot of people listening right now that are like, what the hell was that? which is why I've chosen this song from Iron Maiden. Play it, Pugs. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

20:49Keyzie:It's the Hauraki Big Show's Friday Throbber.

20:54Mike Minogue:Douche, douche. The Friday Throbber where we each pick a tune. You then vote on 0800 Hauraki which tune you'd like played in full. It's a little head-to-head number today. You've got Keezy and Pugsan. Jason Mike will be back on Monday. You'll have a full show back then. In the meantime, we thought, why not just go head to head? Pugs, you got us underway with a great band from Wellies.

21:23Jason Hoyte:From the album, the band from Wellington, New Zealand, this is Darts. One out, Captain Cook. Bit of modern punk for your Friday throbber there.

21:33Mike Minogue:Don't mind it, Pug-san. And I chose a tune which is for a slightly older generation, I think, in all time. One of the greatest guitar riff intros of any song ever, I believe. Iron Maiden, The Trooper.

21:56Keyzie:Oh, yeah.

22:00Mike Minogue:Doosh, doosh. All-timer there, the trooper, Iron Maiden. But of course, Pugs, we can't vote ourselves. We have to let the audience do it for us. Let's go to the lines.

22:10Jason Hoyte:Sam in Wellington, how are you, mate? Good, mate. How are you getting on, brother? Yeah, good, thanks, mate.

22:16Mike Minogue:Oh, God, Sam, you're from Wellington. Darts are from Wellington. I have a feeling I know who you're voting for, but let us have it. Well, it's a no-brainer, mate, and I hate to colonise it just as much as the next guy. So let's go. What out, Captain Cook? Yeah, what out, Captain Cook?

22:27Jason Hoyte:You're a good man, Sam. Thanks for your call, bro. Have a great weekend. All right, let's move over to Natasha in the Waikato. How are you?

22:37Mike Minogue:Kia ora, Eho. Kia ora, Natasha. I made it all the way. Yeah. Good on you. Ka pai, Eho. You have a good night, Natasha. Ka pai. Welcome with your bag, child. Thank you, brother. Thank you. All right, tiebreaker. Pugs is currently one each.

22:54Jason Hoyte:We've got one more. Sam in Dunedin, how are you? G'day, boys. How are we getting on? Yeah, good, Sam. Yeah, good, Sam. How about you? Yeah, not too bad. Not too bad for a Friday. Yeah, good on you. Who are you voting for, Sam?

23:06Mike Minogue:Let us have it, mate. Oh, well, as much as I love some darts, and I do love a dart, I've got to go with Keezy today. Oh. A bit of Iron Maiden. The Trooper. Wow. Thank you so much, Sam. You, my friend, are a trooper. That is a big win for old Keezy there, which means we are going to hear the Trooper from Iron Maiden played in full. Let us know what you think, New Zealand. Give us a text on 3483. How do you feel about today? Friday Throbber. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Oasis on the Hauraki Big Show. Friday afternoon with Keezy and Pugs on Full Show Back Monday.

23:44Jason Hoyte:Back to some gold from the big show in days past. This is August 2022, and I'm surprised that Jace's marriage recovered after this absolute betrayal.

23:56Keyzie:Something happened last night, Mike, that disgusted me. Oh yeah, is it Keezy related? No actually, weirdly enough Just on that, can you stop sending me stuff Keezy? What do you mean? I'm not interested alright? Right, is that Instagram or? Well no, just private messaging me I'm not interested in the stuff you're sending me WhatsApp, ok got it Just keep it to yourself I'll keep the Snapchats going though 26 years of marriage mate Oh congrats Thanks man And I was in the lounge last night with my wife and just to sort of set the background, when we do a sort of weekly shop, we buy a little box of trumpets.

24:34Keyzie:Oh, a little treat for you? Yeah, like a treat. Yeah, yeah. So there's like four trumpets in the box sort of thing. Boysenberry? Yes, actually, Keith. I like boysenberry. Yeah, same. Sort of a bit like a treat like that. Cake you're shoveling into your throat before it's sitting out there. Quite like the Hokey Pokey one too. Yeah, same. Yeah, that's quite good. But anyway, so there were four and my daughter the night before and my wife and I had one each. So there was one left. Yeah, yeah. So I was getting it out of the freezer last night and there was one trumpet left and I said to my wife, darling, do you want the last trumpet?

25:11Keyzie:And she went, yes, please. I've never been so disgusted in my life. I mean, what kind of animal behaviour is that? That's shocking. I mean, I... Hit the roof, I hope. Oh, mate. Mate, I just stormed out of the house. I had to cool down. Any effing and jeffing? Oh, there was effing and jeffing. Bloody massively so, mate. Oh, good. I was so appalled and shocked. Yeah. It's just not done in my home. You just don't do that sort of thing. I hope you threw the trumpet in the fire. No, I did actually. I just threw it across the lounge there and smashed against the French doors there.

25:47Mike Minogue:Right. So what are you furious about that she said yes to your question? Yes, Kesey. Why did you ask her the question then?

25:53Keyzie:Well, it's rhetorical, isn't it? I'm not asking, exactly, thank you, Mike. I'm not asking her the question. The answer is, no, you have it. That is the answer. You're giving her an opportunity to say, no, you have it. Right, and she didn't do that because she wanted the ice cream. She said, yes, thanks. Now, if she wanted it, she should have gone and got it. But Jase got there first and asked the question. The social contract is, you say, no, thanks, you have it. And now she was allowed to then say, can I please have a bite?

26:25Mike Minogue:Yeah, of course.

26:26Keyzie:To which Jase is allowed to say, shove it. Yeah, yeah, totally.

26:29Mike Minogue:Yeah, okay. Totally. Right. And so you stormed out and threw an ice cream after 26 years of marriage? Yes. Right, okay, yeah, cool. I've got it.

26:37Keyzie:Get some French doors there. Mike knows what I'm talking about here. Oh, man. Give him an inch, man. There's some unwritten rules in marriage, Kesey. You'll find this out when this happens to you, mate. Right. That you just don't cross over the line. No, no, no. But oh filthy I'm filthy myself See what I would do

26:54Mike Minogue:Is I'd find the ice cream And say Hey do you mind If I have this

26:58Keyzie:You'd find it

26:59Mike Minogue:I'd find it first Oh yeah Hoity did

27:01Keyzie:You'd find it in the freezer

27:02Mike Minogue:And then I'd say Do you mind if I have this Not hey do you want this

27:05Keyzie:Yeah but she would say Yes I do mind if you have it Cause it here Yeah

27:10Mike Minogue:Well in that case

27:10Keyzie:Fat boy

27:11Mike Minogue:Yeah Exactly Probably just pee my pants And storm out of there

27:15Keyzie:Yeah

27:17Mike Minogue:Some classic big show action from 2022. That reminds me, Pugs, the whole archive is available to listen to, isn't it?

27:25Jason Hoyte:That's right. If you search Hauraki Big Show wherever you get your podcasts, we recommend iHeartRadio. That's what we jam here. It's free to use, free to download. And if you search Hauraki Big Show, you can literally go back all the way to the Big Show's very inception.

27:37Mike Minogue:Yeah. Could you do me a favor? Could you delete everything? Yeah, sweet as, man. Just because listening back to all this old stuff is very triggering. So just go and wipe it if you could, mate. Yeah, sweet as. Should we go into a tune here? Nah. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

27:55Keyzie:Can I get anybody a beer?

27:56Mike Minogue:The Big Show. Beervana Support Brew Crew Contender.

28:02Keyzie:How about a beer, eh?

28:03Mike Minogue:Not just a contender, folks. It's time to actually give this prize away. If you don't know what it is, it's a hell of a prize. It joins myself, Pug San here, and of course Hoagie J and Mogi flying down to Wellington this coming Thursday doing a live show from Bethel Woods, which is a great pub down there, thanks to our mates at Tuatata. And then, of course, heading over to Henry Stadium on the Friday for Bear Vana. That is a two-day bear festival. Get your tickets now, bearvana.co.nz. But it's time to give away tickets to somebody who gets to bring them out. They get free flights, free accommodation as well, Pugs.

28:34Mike Minogue:Hell of a prize. Hundreds of dollars, man.

28:36Jason Hoyte:It's unbelievable. But the best part is you get to work for old Pugs. You know what I mean? And I'm going to work you. Right. Whoever it is, I'm going to give them a working over. Yeah, good on you, Pugs. We had the live show in front of everybody, so it's going to be great.

28:50Mike Minogue:They do get a free hotel if you wanted to do it there, but let's give the winner a call. Hopefully they answer. Part of the brew crew.

29:05Mike Minogue:Hello, it's Martin. Hi, Martin. It's Keezy and Pugsun. How are you? Oh, Keezy and Pugsun. I'm good, brother. How are you? Yeah, good, mate.

29:13Jason Hoyte:Thanks, Martin, man.

29:14Mike Minogue:Hey, Martin, man, just remind me, What do you do for a crust again? I'm a chippy. Of course you are, you bloody backbone. Hey, did you enter the competition to bring a mate down to Wellington, man? Up to Wellington, man. You certainly did, Martin. I'm calling to let you know that you and your mate need to pack your shit because you're coming to Wellington to be a vana.

29:38Mike Minogue:Attaboy.

29:39Keyzie:That's what I'm talking about, Martin. I'm going to work you, brother.

29:45Mike Minogue:Martin, who are you bringing with you, mate? His name is Simon, and you count it backwards, and it's Nomus. Nomus. Nomus, the brother Nomus. I like it. Martin, look, just a couple of things I've got to check, mate. Firstly, do you enjoy beers? I love beer. Okay, good. That's good. I'll take that off. Do you have a current passport? I have a current passport. Okay, you won't actually need it because we're just going to Wellington. And thirdly, are you free, not this coming weekend, but the following one? I'm free, brother. I'm self-employed. We're there. Woo! Oh, bloody beauty. All right, Martin.

30:21Mike Minogue:You pack your shit, mate. We'll see you down in Wellington next week, all right? I will pack my shit, and I will see you there. Well done, Martin.

30:29Jason Hoyte:You hold the line there, brother. Actually hold the line this time, and I'll be in touch with you in just a moment. That's good stuff, Keezy. Oh, so what? He holds the line here, but other people don't hold it.

30:39Mike Minogue:I can't figure it out. When are you going to understand?

30:40Jason Hoyte:I choose where that line is, man. Far out. Whether we cross it or hold it, I'm the guy.

30:45Mike Minogue:Look, Pugs, there's one thing I want to say to you right now, all right, and it's this. Grab your crew and secure Bearvana tickets now at bearvana.co.nz, all right? That's all I've got to say. Clean ass, man. If you'd please play some Living Colour. Is this cult of personality? Of course it is. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. Lincoln Park on the Hauraki Big Show. Friday evening with Keezy and Pugs. and in the four o 'clock hour there, Pugs set up a bit of an invite situation for you great listeners. He's got one night left, house sitting for Jace, and he's decided to throw a massive party.

31:21Jason Hoyte:Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not massive, Matt. It'll be a really responsible get-together, okay? Nothing but respect for the Jizz Palace. The Jizz Palace.

31:33Mike Minogue:Pugs, have you ever thrown a massive house party before? Setting rules and saying, whoa, whoa, respectful and all that sort of thing. we're having a party at the Jizz Palace. Why are you trying to keep it as a casual affair?

31:44Jason Hoyte:Let's make it a rip-roaring party. Because then inevitably when Jace finds out that I've had the party and he accosts me for it, I can go back through the audio on this show and just send him a snippet and go, look, man, I didn't say it was going to be a big thing. Knock out teasing. 100%. Yes, absolve myself of responsibility and accountability.

32:01Mike Minogue:So we've done that. So I'm at fault. Hoyley J, if you're listening back to this, this was my idea. So now that we've done that part, we're going to have a huge party.

32:08Keyzie:Let's get messed up.

32:09Mike Minogue:Let's get maggot! Responsibly, of course. Everyone, text through 3483 if you'd like to come, who you'd want to bring and stuff that you could bring to the party as well. We've already got a heap of text, Pugs. This is a great first one. If I came, I'd offer some baked goods, if you know what I mean. Winky face. I love baking. Oh, like a cake or something? Yeah, maybe. Winky face. I like the sound of that. I offer the knowledge that I won't turn up as I live in Christchurch. It's handy. Luke is going to bring a couple of his mates,

32:38Jason Hoyte:and they're going to bring around a pile of bricks. There's a recurring theme on the Instagram at Horaki Big Show. I put up a story there for you to respond to. Ollie says a week's worth of hot box, which I think he meant hot pot, or maybe a hot box, and camel super longs. Brody said a pack of darts and some basil. Caleb said a sex swing and a pack of camels. So people are really coming out with the darts, which I can appreciate.

33:01Mike Minogue:Yeah, 100%. I mean, I don't understand this one. I'll bring a truckload of booger sugar. What's booger sugar? Maybe it's like sweets, like lollies Oh, okay, like a new sweet A sugary one, that sounds yummy I'd be keen for some of that

33:16Jason Hoyte:Somebody else said, just sort of in the same vein They want to bring a mirror so they can cut up some flour on it I guess that's for the baking, maybe to make another cake Flour, or do you think that They might mean flowers Why would you cut up flowers on a mirror? I have no idea, why would you cut up flour on a mirror? For even distribution amongst the baking dishes

33:33Mike Minogue:Right, wouldn't you use like a measuring cup or some sort of way situation. There's tools available. You don't have to cut it up. You know what? I'll try it. When I get home, I'll cut up some flour on a mirror. Please do. Can we smoke inside?

33:45Jason Hoyte:That's from Bruce. He wants to know. Well, I mean, I have been since I've been staying there, so I'm sure you'll be fine. I mean, as long as you attempt to sort of blow it in the direction of the window, even if it's shut, you've done it.

33:56Mike Minogue:Yeah, because I've seen those windows. They don't really open very much, but we can say, hey, there was ventilation.

34:01Jason Hoyte:Oh, there is an extractor fan too, so we should be sweet.

34:03Mike Minogue:There you go. That could be the smoking area. Is that the extractor fan above the oven? Yes, yeah, yeah. Well, what we could do, Pugs, is we could pull the oven out and push that into the bedroom, and then that could be the smoking zone. We could put a little red ribbon around that area.

34:15Jason Hoyte:Yeah, and if we stuff the pillows under the door, then that'll kind of seal it off, you know what I mean?

34:19Mike Minogue:Yeah, 100%. So yeah, his sleeping pillows, stuff them under the door. Yeah, yeah, yeah. VIP smokers area, I like the sound of that. Someone here is offering to bring a glass barbecue.

34:28Jason Hoyte:Does he have anywhere for a barbecue? Well, if we're doing the smoking inside, we might as well do the barbecuing. Maybe we put the barbecue in the smokers area, and then it kind of gives it a bit of a smoky sort of movie. So you're suggesting we move the oven out and put a barbecue where the oven was? No, no, no. Both in the bedroom. Both are in the bedroom. Oh, okay. So we move the oven and the glass barbecue into the bedroom.

34:48Mike Minogue:I've never heard of a glass barbecue. That sounds fancy. It sounds expensive. You don't want to break it. Someone's going to bring the Hoity J combo. This is from Jeremy. Cheese balls, durries, and a stick mag. That sounds like a great night.

35:00Jason Hoyte:I mean, even that guy could just come over, and I'd sort of be sorted, you know?

35:02Mike Minogue:But it sounds like he's just going to be snacking and sort of beating off in the corner. I'm not sure. No one's brought any booze. Okay, so look, I'm trying to get this party started. Keep the text coming. 3483. You can win yourself$50 worth of Reburger. Who wants to come to Hoy DJ's house for a massive party? And what are you going to bring? Should we go to a tune, Pugs? It better be Tool, otherwise I'm going to be furious. Have I got news for you, Kesey? What? It's Tool. It's Tool. Sizzle. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Cool on the Hodaki Big Show. Just about 6 o 'clock, you've got Keezy and Pugsaw with you.

35:35Mike Minogue:Hooray Jay and Mogi are back on Monday. But in the meantime, we've got some tickets to give away, some double passes to go and see a brand-new mystery thriller produced by J.J. Abrams. It's called The End of Oak Street, starring Ewan McGregor and Anne Hathaway. It's in cinemas, well, yesterday, to be honest. It's in cinemas right now. If you are keen to get a double pass to that, give us a text now, 3483, and just chuck down who you'd like to take with you, and that could be yours.

36:01Jason Hoyte:Some of the reviews for this thing are absolutely gangbusters. People are stoked to see a concept like this making it back to the movies. It's not already established IP. It's like its own thing, its own story. It's a dinosaur movie with great action. People like Anne Hathaway pointing a rifle at some velociraptors. Looks great. Just on that, the one thing I don't know about it is how long is the Oak Street, Keezy? How long is the Oak Street? Yeah, the Oak Street. You know, the one you mentioned earlier. Come on, man.

36:28Mike Minogue:Look, I'm just out here trying to do my best, Pugs. and yes I said a word wrong and yes it was in the middle of a sponsored product like this movie here and I've literally said the name of the movie wrong and for you to shine a light on it it really holds this show back it's what's holding this show back from being a top radio show

36:44Jason Hoyte:look as long as people text in on 3483 and let us know who they want to go with then it doesn't matter they could be going to see the end of Oak Street

36:50Mike Minogue:or the end of Oak Street either way man you take the ticket and you get stuck in The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. That's right. It is the Hauraki Big Show for Friday the 14th of August, 2026. It's almost the weekend. Yeah. You've got Keezy and Pugs on with you. The full show is back Monday. But, of course, the Big Show is brought to you by Reburger. Yum.

37:15Jason Hoyte:Beef, chicken, vegan, and vegetarian options. Reburger, redefining the norm.

37:21Keyzie:Scrum-diddly-umptious.

37:22Mike Minogue:It certainly is scrum-diddly-umptious. Of course, Reburger would love to have it tonight. However, Pugs, whenever I'm with my brother, my older brother, we have this tradition where, because we both love NRL, and we have this tradition where we'll just both get together in the lounge there, order a whole lot of pizzas, and then watch all the games of NRL that are on. It just so happens that there's only two games on tonight. Usually we'll watch the three on a big Saturday.

37:47Jason Hoyte:Holy.

37:48Mike Minogue:Yeah, we love it. Do you not get sick of it?

37:50Jason Hoyte:Do you not go, like, you get to the third game and you're like, hmm, I wonder what they'll do this time, and it's douche, douche. No, come on, Pugs. You sound like Hoity J talking about video games, man. Handover. What do you call it? I don't know. What are you talking about? You know when they have to switch the position? I don't know, man. Handover. Yeah, handover. Good one, man. Run it straight.

38:10Mike Minogue:No, well, to be honest, Pugs, you're missing the point. It's mostly about me bonding with my brother, who I don't see that often. I don't know about that. So it doesn't really matter what games are on. And when you're drinking beers and you're catching up, it's bloody good times, man. Yeah, that's valid, man. Listen, I love it for you.

38:23Jason Hoyte:I do. I do. No, you don't. What are you doing tonight? Well, my partner has left me house-sitting Hoardy J's place alone, so obviously you're going to have the shindig a bit later. The big party. You can keep those texts coming on 3483 if you feel like you want an invite. You've got to have something to offer, though, so keep those coming. But I am feeling some Reburger tonight because it's Bachelor night, regardless of what's going on.

38:45Mike Minogue:Pokes, I worry that you're starting to lie about getting a Reburger.

38:50Jason Hoyte:On my life, on my life, I am keen as Reburger. Really? Yes, bro. You promise? I want a Regent Red because it's dinner, so I can put it on our flat account. You know what I mean? I just feel like, look, I was getting dinner, and it's re-burger. Yeah, fair enough. It's been a big week for me, man. I've got to get some takeaways and me just chill out.

39:07Mike Minogue:All I'm saying is that when Horty J's lying about getting re-burger, it's always the Regent Red as well. So I'm just putting it out there. I hope you do get it. No, there's another one.

39:16Jason Hoyte:What is it? A Super Nash or something like that that I really like as well. So it's one of those. I'll get a burger. I'll get a combo because I have to get fries. and then I'll probably get a couple of extra tendies as well, like the bits of chicken with some spicy sauce here. Whatever they are, you know what I mean? What's that, bro?

39:33Mike Minogue:No, you're all G. It sounds delicious, Pugs. Hey, what are you having for dinner in New Zealand? Actually, it's not Tuesday. Are we doing what's for tea? No, we're not. Actually, don't worry about it. But let's go to a tune, Pugs. How about that? How about a bit of Soundgarden, man? Of course. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. the Stone Age on the Haraki Big Show. Friday evening with Keezy and Pugs San.

39:56Jason Hoyte:Pugs, best bit time. We've got two left in our best bits. And this one is Hoody Jake. You know, he's getting older. He's probably like, what, 39 now? He's nearly 40. Yeah. And when you get to that age, certain things start to happen to your body. And let's just say you got a bit embarrassed while he was on the set. I was humiliated today.

40:16Keyzie:Again. Yeah, I mean, it's not something that's unusual for me, to be fair, but I was filming this morning. What were you filming? Late night, big breakfast.

40:28Mike Minogue:Oh, wow, it's back. I knew it. Thanks, baby. Everyone's so stoked about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

40:33Keyzie:And I was in the make-up chair. Now, for people unfamiliar with make-up chairs, you know, when you're getting ready and they put all your make-up on, the light that they have in a make-up sort of caravan is the most horrendously offensive light you could imagine. and you look in the mirror and you literally look like 180 years old. You see every line and wrinkle, all the dark rings under your eyes. It's horrendous. But today as I was sitting in the make-up chair, something happened to me which has never happened to me before. And the make-up lady was sort of tutu-ing with my hair and she went, oh, oh.

41:08Keyzie:And I was like, what's wrong? And she said, oh, we may have to shave your ears. Your ears? My ears. And I was like, excuse me? And she said, well, you've just got a few stray hairs. Not poking out, but actually on the outer rim of my ears. Oh. I've never shaved my ears in my life. And she spent a good five minutes literally de-fluffing my ears. Do you shave your ears? What? Yes. Do you seriously? Yeah, I do. I've got a little machine there, a little hair trimmer. It does inside my massive honker. Anyone? Anyone? Well, you've already made the joke. Anyone? Yeah. It must be massive. Well, you can really get it in there for sure.

41:50Keyzie:It's called a weed whacker. Thanks. And then also over, not as often, but on occasion, over the top of the air, on the edge of the air, like you say, because it gets a bit of fluff on there. Yeah, well, this is more sort of around my lobey area. Oh, yeah. You know, I had a little apparently stray hair. Do you get hairs in your ears, Keezy?

42:11Mike Minogue:I don't think I'm there yet. Right. You also, I did notice, you have like, and Mike, I haven't noticed yours yet, but you do have hairs coming out from your actual ear holes.

42:20Keyzie:Yeah, no, I shave those off. You shave those off? Yeah. Yeah, so you did actually have those. People don't like looking at that. No, I hate it. Are you serious? I'm 100 % serious. I do not have hair coming out of my ear holes. Jase, if you have never cut the hair out of your ear, then it is there.

42:39Mike Minogue:100%. In fact, I got Pugs to mock up a little sort of just for us.

42:45Keyzie:That's what you dudes are doing.

42:48Mike Minogue:Mike, this is actually what it sounds like for Jase when he's doing the big show. It's like either cold turkey, right, or just two a day, one in the morning and one after the show. So that's all Jase can hear. Yeah. Because of the sheer amount of...

43:02Keyzie:I can't even hear what you're playing.

43:04Mike Minogue:Why, because it's now doubled for you.

43:05Keyzie:Oh, right, okay.

43:07Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, but they've trimmed it clearly because they're not sticking out.

43:09Keyzie:I didn't go in my ears. I didn't realise I had stuff coming out of my ears. Go home tonight. Yes. Can you make a note of this, Pugs Adam? We'll follow it up tomorrow. Go home tonight and ask your wife to check your ears for hair. Ask her if there's any stray hair coming out of there. Okay.

43:22Mike Minogue:So do I have hair ears?

43:25Keyzie:Yeah. Because I remember your atrocious ears, Keezy. My ears?

43:30Mike Minogue:Oh, well, they were full of wax.

43:32Keyzie:Yeah, yeah.

43:33Mike Minogue:But having really waxy, filthy ears is real cool, but hair ears, oh, that's super embarrassing. I forgot I had really Waxy ears actually That was when we were We were sponsored by Like a hearing aid company And we had our ears tested To see who had the best hearing And they couldn't even do it on me Because my ears were too dirty

43:48Jason Hoyte:Is that like leftover wax From your plugs From when you were swimming Because you get swimmers here No

43:52Mike Minogue:I didn't used to wear plugs Pugs man You're my You're my ally here man And you're really Turning against me That was a simple question You're really You know You're really bringing up Things from my childhood And saying I've got a big honker And stuff I thought we were mates Yes So that's a yes Right Thank you That's correct. Yeah, cheers. Are you happy now? Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Placebo, Hauraki Big Show, Friday evening with Keezy and Pugs-san. Let's go to a brewery, Pugs.

44:22Jason Hoyte:We're off to find the brewery of the day.

44:29Mike Minogue:That's right. Every single day in the lead-up to Beer Varner down in Wellington, we shine the spotlight on a different brewery, all of whom will be exhibiting at Beervana, which is happening this coming Friday and Saturday down. And when I say this, not today and tomorrow, I mean next week. Friday and Saturday down in Wellington there at Henry Stadium in Wellington. Today's Brewery of the Day, Pugs, is Brew Moon. Brew Moon. Yeah, that's clever. I like it. It is clever. It's a play on an Elvis song. Is it? Blue Moon. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they've been making great beer since 2002, Pugs. Earning their spot as one of New Zealand's original craft breweries, Pugs.

45:08Mike Minogue:Okay. Just make sure you know, man. These North Canterbury legends might keep things simple. Quality brews, plenty of flavour in a line-up that's got something for everyone, from old favourites to seasonal drops, Pugs. Moo-me. Moo-me? Me. Who the hell's Moo-me? Moo-me. Family-owned and still doing what they love, Pugs. Brew Moon are bringing their beers to Bear Vana 2026. Get your tickets. Bearvana.co.nz. I feel like the South has a reputation for great beers.

45:48Jason Hoyte:They do. They certainly do. It's that whole backbone like national pride.

45:55Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, national pride. See, look what you've done, man.

45:58Jason Hoyte:This is what happens when, come on, man. What? There's a sponsor involved here. Yeah, you butchered it.

46:03Mike Minogue:Pull your head in, all right? You butchered it. Actually, just lose the music there, pugs. Oh, what? Just lose the music there? Yeah, cool. Just between you and me. Yeah, yeah. No, I tried an interesting tactic driving a Tauranga, right, which is a three-hour drive. Yeah, yeah. I raw-dogged it. I didn't have the stereo on at all. I didn't listen to anything.

46:25Jason Hoyte:What's wrong with you?

46:26Mike Minogue:Three hours, just to see, just to see where the old mind would go. Are you serious? Yeah. That sounds awful. No, it was great. I was literally just daydreaming and thinking of scenarios and having conversations in my head for three hours straight. Oh, yeah. Did you win any of them? Nah, it was mostly garbage. I thought of a great new name for our show, though. Oh, what's that, bro? The Big Show with Keezy and Moomy.

46:50Jason Hoyte:Black Crows. Such a shit set up.

46:54Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Black Keys on the Hauraki Big Show Friday evening with Keezy and Pugs and Pugs I believe it is time to hear one of the all time great moments on the Hauraki Big Show involving honkers.

47:07Jason Hoyte:That's exactly right Keezy this is our final best bit for the week and it'll be a while until I dive into the archives again but it's been a great pleasure. Now yesterday on the Big Show we played a bit talking about our honkers ahead of getting an actual cosmetic surgeon and Dr. Dushelain to measure our noses in the scientific way that they tend to do that to figure out who on the Big Show has the biggest honker. Well, here you are. You have been very patient, and this is it. These are the official nose results from August 2023 of the Hauraki Big Show Honkers.

47:38Keyzie:The measuring has been done by Dr. Tristan Dushelain here. He's efficient, isn't he? Well, he's done a few in his day, from the sounds of it. Yeah, very much. So we've got Pugs in with the official results. And g'day, Pugs. How are you going, mate? Yeah, I'm good. Have you had a little sneak?

47:51Jason Hoyte:I'm feeling tense. I feel like I've got a lot of power right now.

47:54Keyzie:Yeah, it's a tense moment. But listen, the reason we're doing this, because we wanted to draw a line under it, didn't we, Mogi? Okay, Keezy, you listening? Yeah. Keezy. What? Keezy. What? Pretty nervous in this studio, I've got to say. He's been very quiet, hasn't he? There's a lot of pacing been going on around here. Yeah, my word. The reason we're doing it, because we want to draw a line on it, because this has been going on for some time, because this is what the show's been sounding like, fellas.

48:17Mike Minogue:First five minutes, Warriors are looking good. Don't speak in these should have been spoken to, Keezy.

48:21Keyzie:Executing perfectly.

48:21Mike Minogue:You know, getting through their sets every time. I sort of understand what's happening here.

48:25Keyzie:He can't help but put his massive honker in where it's not wanted. 10 mil rupees. What would you do with that? Nose job. I'll tell you what I'm watching right now. Old Keyes are getting interviewed about just winning the world titles in some third-rate racing car championship. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. He'd have trouble getting any speed up with that honker. You know what I'm saying? What people don't know about me is I'm actually a very generous man. No, I know, because they've never seen it. In the nose department. There is a way to work it out, and that is to get somebody that is an absolute expert in massive honkers, and that is Keyes.

49:03Keyzie:I was like, here we go. Didn't you get, like, a table tennis ball stuck up one of your nostrils on time, Keyes? They had to make another rule that if somebody was throwing the ball, Keyes, he couldn't inhale through his nose at the other end. He'd get sucked straight up the bastard there. I think if you got the cash out and you made a big pile of it, it would be almost as massive as your honker, Keezy. Honker, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, that's not very much then. That wouldn't get you very far. They can ask any question they want. Yeah, totally, mate. 263-3483, like how does Keezy stay standing up with all the weight front-loaded on that massive honker?

49:35Keyzie:I was making television last night. Oh, were you all embarrassing bodies because of that massive schnoz of yours?

49:51Keyzie:Oh lordy Absolute all-timer That one there from Keezy Yeah that was a cragger She was So how's this going to work

50:02Mike Minogue:So I think the first thing we need to get

50:04Keyzie:I'm a bit concerned I've got to say That most of that was me bagging Keezy So I've got a feeling that I'm going to be the biggest snots here

50:10Mike Minogue:I really hope it is you So obviously the first thing we need to do is establish who is the smallest nose, right? Rule that person out.

50:17Jason Hoyte:So maybe we'll do that first, Pugs. Is that all right? Absolutely. That's fine. I've got my folder here that says Pugs Only. All right. Yeah. Top secret folder. Okay. So I've got the placing right here.

50:25Keyzie:Before you just give us the results, because you know them, Pugs. Were you surprised? Was there anything that alarmed you? I can't say that I was surprised. Okay. By this one. Okay. So in third place. All right. Here we go.

50:47Jason Hoyte:With a deviation of 24.6 % from the normal... Keezy. Oh!

50:54Keyzie:Yes! No! Yes! Oh! Get that idiot! No! Snout hairdos! Yes! No! Yes!

51:09Keyzie:I got a feeling it's me, Hoity J. I think you're okay, mate. Can you smell it, can you? Yeah, I can. I can smell defeat.

51:16Mike Minogue:Oh, my goodness. So you're safe, Kesey. I've got a tiny little nose. Why was I even thinking? Why was I even worried? Oh, my goodness. This is like winning 100 problems.

51:27Jason Hoyte:What was the measurement there? 24.6 % positive deviation from what the normal is, according to Dr. Dushelon.

51:35Mike Minogue:So it's still above average. Absolutely. Oh, is that what that is? So that's 24.6%. Shut up, Jase. I've got the smallest nose.

51:43Keyzie:Oh, God. Get up for a dub whips.

51:45Mike Minogue:All right, ready for the number one? We'll go straight to who's got the biggest, eh? Oh, yeah, straight to the biggest. Here we go. Big old drum roll.

52:21Jason Hoyte:With 26.5 % Hoity J Yes!

52:29Mike Minogue:Oh yeah! Captain Honka Hoity J

52:39I just want to say, fellas, that I'm humbled.

52:45Keyzie:I can't understand. You're so nasally.

52:51Keyzie:At least tearing up. I knew when your arm was leaning towards Mogi that you were going to point at me. And I'm devastated. Yeah. I'm gutted. but I'll take it on the snozz. I'd like to say it's nice for you to finally get a win, brother.

53:16Mike Minogue:One of the all-time great moments on the Hodaki Big Show. Just listening to that and reliving it, Pugs, I still felt the same joy I felt four years ago.

53:24Jason Hoyte:100%, and it hasn't quite stopped the honker jokes, but what I will say is there are bigger radio stations out there that'll give away like 50 grand. And they'll have a smaller build-up to giving that away than what we had for deciding who had the biggest schnoz. That drumroll was all-time as well.

53:41Mike Minogue:If you want to listen to any of the Big Show episodes from the past, give it a search wherever you get your podcasts from, Hauraki Big Show. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

53:57Mike Minogue:That is the Big Show done and dusted for the entire week, actually. Pugs and myself really shouldering a great load. But, Pugs, the great news is Mogi and Hoity J are back on deck Monday, and they'll be fit and firing and fresh and ready to go.

54:11Jason Hoyte:Absolutely. And you know what? I've missed them, and I'm sure the people listening have too, but it has been a great pleasure holding down the fort with you, Keezy. Thanks, man. And I hope you have yourself a beautiful weekend. You got much planned?

54:23Mike Minogue:Not going open homing. Old Keezy sold his house and now needs to find a new place. So, you know, pretty much walking into all these open homes and going, is this where I'm going to be living in a few months' time? Wow. So the entire weekend is dedicated to that. Yep. And we were supposed to go out for dinner with mates tomorrow night, but they've come down with norovirus. What the hell is that? It's highly contagious. It's the thing you can catch on a cruise ship where everyone all of a sudden just gets tummy sick in a very bad way. So we're saying stay away to them.

54:53Jason Hoyte:What are you up to? So tonight, final night at Hoity Jayses. Hoity Jayses. final night at Hoity Jace's I'll probably try and get some re-burger for tea because it's bachelor night tomorrow he gets home so I'll head back over to mine and it's one more bachelor night before my partner gets back on Sunday so I've got a few plans there's a couple of things happening around Tamaki Makoto where we live a little festival happening on Karangahapi Road up there I might go check out and I've got a gig tomorrow night on Karangahapi Road as well so yeah it should be fun

55:22Mike Minogue:bloody good stuff Pugs thank you for your work this week and thank you to the listeners for tuning in. The big show back in full this coming Monday. Also, The Goat underway. 8 a.m. sharp. Boom. We'll see you then. It's going to be a hell of a week on Radio Hodaki. See ya. Bye. Bye.