BEST OF THE DISCLAIMER: Cut It Out

0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Dog It. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horeke.

0:15Keyzie:Speaking of fitness fellas, I just like an hour ago downloaded a yoga app. Oh, a yoga app. What's it called?

0:23Mike Minogue:It's called... Do you want to use this here? It's called redtube.com. Or do you want to use this on the show? It's called Downward Dog. Yeah.

0:31Keyzie:No, it's called... Reverse cowgirl. Yoga Go. Da-do. I bet da-do is just not part of that title. There was a period where you were going to yoga. What happened to that? Oh, no, that was when I was doing counselling, and I went, nah, I don't like it. But this is just in your own lounge. They have a program for you in terms of what you're trying to achieve. I reckon you'll ask for one week maximum. And I'll do that and then go to the gym. because it's only like 10, 15-minute workouts. It's a warm-up. You can do that at the gym. But it also, you know, you have a weight goal and all that sort of stuff.

1:07Keyzie:Oh, yeah, you won't achieve it. And it tones you and all that sort of stuff. Yeah, sure it does. I'll be great. You guys are going to be shocked.

1:14Mike Minogue:I reckon Jase is going to really commit to this and he's going to stick to it for like years. I don't think that anybody, and I include myself in this, has ever downloaded one of those apps where they're doing workouts at home and has made any real difference to their fitness, their look or anything else, those things are a fucking scam. I'll also lump in Duolingo for learning another language. Yeah. I think you have to go somewhere to do shit like that. There'll be people that probably have, but it's just like, and especially doing 10 or 15 minutes or something, it's a complete waste of time.

1:45Keyzie:My wife does, but this is different, but she does Pilates every day, but it's just off YouTube, off this one woman, And she just watches her videos and does her videos every day. That's good. And, man, she's a beast. The only thing you do every day is smoke ciggies. Well, yeah, that's true. And three perfect shoes. And I go to the gym and stuff. Every day? Most days at the moment. Couldn't yesterday because I was filming. When you warm up, you could do that Pilates or that yoga at the gym as a warm-up and sort of tie it in with your ear guitaring, and that would be the complete. But I need a straight back chair.

2:22Keyzie:because it involves a straight back chair.

2:24Mike Minogue:What are you doing on a chair?

2:25Keyzie:Well, this is, you know, the exercises. Have you seen the movie Flashdance?

2:28Mike Minogue:Yeah, that's what I'm picturing.

2:29Keyzie:Is it Flashdance or Dirty Dancing? Flashdance. You guys won't be taking the piss when I roll out my massive pecs and abs. No. Tight buns.

2:39Mike Minogue:You roll out your pecs and I will take the piss. Yeah. Jase, I'd be, yeah. I reckon you're going to stick to this and do really well, man.

2:46Keyzie:I've actually kind of got pecs, Keezy. Do you want to see them? You've got a pecs. Can't you see them? I reckon they are pretty good. You must be able to bench a lot. You've got a pretty tight little bod there for an old fella. Is it BMI? Body mass index, yes. Yeah, yeah, because I put all my measurements and stuff out. Yeah, what's your body fat percentage? Does 24 sound right? That sounds like a possibility. Yeah, it said that I... I'm 23. ...that I have a good ratio given my height and weight. How did you work out your fat? Dunno. Yeah. I didn't do fat. Yeah, right. It just said how much do you weigh and how tall are you?

3:26Keyzie:And then what did you say? I said 5 foot 10 and a half. Yeah, I'm 6 foot even. And, you know, 70 kgs there, Keezy.

3:35Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. Are you 70?

3:37Keyzie:No, I'm about 73, 74.

3:39Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. How heavy am I?

3:41Keyzie:120.

3:43Mike Minogue:90. Actually, I hovered around 90 for about a decade. and then I weighed myself the other day and it was like 92. Of course. But then I remembered I'd had a huge dinner the night before and hadn't had a steamer yet. Ah, yes. Afterwards, 87. Nice, dude. A 5kg steamer. Isn't that interesting? That's the name of a horror movie, isn't it? The 5kg steamer. The Horaki B Show, weekdays from 4 on Radio Horaki. Now that's good listening. And it's live. What are you listening to there? Oh, me? Oh, sorry. I was listening to the Radio Hauraki Big Show. Right. Four to seven weekdays. Yeah, that's quite specific.

4:30And I heart radio. Wado. Cheers. The Hauraki Big Show Podcast.

4:37Keyzie:Hey. Hey. I was filming this morning, Sally. I was filming this morning, and guess what? You're what? Filling. Filming. Oh, filming. And I got a deduja. Oh, from who? No, no. You made love to one of the extras. No, no. In the script there. For, you know, on the actual show, I got a deduja in there. You punched someone. Pardon? You punched someone. No, I got the word deduja in there.

5:03Mike Minogue:Oh, okay. Now, Jesus. Because you told us the line you were saying, and I'm not going to say it, but it was something sort of to the effect of, oh, is this all good? You know what I mean? It was sort of like that. Yes. Where did you put the deduja?

5:15Keyzie:when I place something on the table.

5:18Mike Minogue:You said, didoosh.

5:19Keyzie:I went, didoosh.

5:22Mike Minogue:There's no way they're going to use that.

5:23Keyzie:Well, they will. Really? I just snuck it in there. There's a little bit of personality in there. Yes, well, they'll be editing it and they'll go, what the fuck is the didoosh? Can someone hear that? Yeah. Very weird. I'll be honest with you. You loving it? You know, it's good. It's good.

5:43Mike Minogue:Saturday night. it's my wife's netball prize giving that I had to go along to. Oh, you had to, yeah. I did have to because, did I explain it on the show? I think you were saying that she said that you couldn't go but that you'd managed to get a ticket from somewhere. Yeah, because she was selling tickets. No, the situation was the girls were all meeting up. The girls, as you called them. There was a team of 10 of them. I think there was eight of them. And me and one of the boys, one of the other girls' husbands, Matt, who's one of my mates, we were just going to hang out, watch the Olympics, watch NRL, eat pizza, drink beers while they were off doing this.

6:16Mike Minogue:And then it turned out one of the other girls forgot that it was netball prize giving and she'd invited her partner who's long distance to come up for the weekend. And so she's like, oh, he's just going to have to like sit in my apartment while we do this prize giving party. And they're like, oh, we'll just get Matt and Chris to come. Three way. And so it was me, Matt and this other fellow standing in the corner just chatting the Olympics. What's his name? Scott. While the girls got really drunk. But then I got quite drunk as well and then climbed a tree.

6:42Keyzie:Sounds about right. Why did you climb a tree, Casey? Because I was bored.

6:45Mike Minogue:I was waiting for the person with the car keys was coming. They were taking forever, and there was a really climbable tree. I got up there.

6:51Keyzie:Right. Why is that? I was just trying to remember the last time I climbed a tree. Yeah. Probably when I was about five. I had a good weekend too, fellas. We're going to get to that. We were just on Casey's. Sorry, sorry. Casey's. I thought that was it. And then you went home and you were hungover all Sunday. Sorry, Jase. and then lay on your couch with your hands down your pants. You sound way better today, man. Weirdly, this afternoon, I took a couple of flu tablets, which seems to have dried me out a bit. I've got a doctor's appointment this evening, 6.30, just a phoner. All I need are just some antibiotics, just feed them to me and I'll get on those bastards and then we'll be off to the races.

7:26You know what I mean?

7:27Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. Because now you know what it is, right? It's easy. It's like whack it in there. And then the other thing is getting a referral to an EMT, ear nose throat specialist Keezy that's what that one there is just to get an operation oh to stop it yeah because otherwise it'll just keep happening like I can't keep on being fucking crook four times a year for a month at a time and that was the pause

7:50Keyzie:that's a big operation man that's a big bigger than that team of surgeons yeah there'll be like eight surgeons you're hacking away you're going with a bobcat I just want you to know if I come back and my nose looks absolutely perfect and has like weirdly changed its shape somehow. Sure, yeah. As a result of my sinusitis, it was just something that they had to do. Right. They had to be small in it slightly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if my fucking face is pulled back a little bit and I look like 20 years younger or anything like that, it's because of my, you know. Yeah, it's because of the sinusitis.

8:20Yeah, the sinusitis.

8:21Mike Minogue:So what are they chopping out? Your sinuses. I don't know how it works. I made a mind, Richard Thurster, the artist. Yes. Yes. He had it done and he said it made a world of difference. I've been mates with him for years. I didn't even know he'd had it done but he said he would have exactly the same thing where he got it and then just he would get crook like fucking heaps.

8:39Keyzie:For some reason I think the procedure would be something along the way. I'm seeing burning. Oh, good. You know, like I'm seeing like they'll... A finger in the anus as well? Well, maybe a finger in the anus but like a burning, a closing off. Yeah, I feel like a cutting out.

8:54Mike Minogue:Yeah, I feel like Jason's watched a surgery since the 1800s. Yeah, it feels like... Funnily enough. that you think there'll be a whole bunch of herbs involved and I'll be dunked in holy water or something. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.