BEST OF THE DISCLAIMER: Horny Chocolate

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0:15Keyzie:I think I tried one of those boner herbal things once. Nothing discernible happened to me. No. Like I didn't have a massive erection or anything. Only a usual small one.

0:27Mike Minogue:Why did you take it? Pardon? Why did you take the Herbal Ignite? Was it because your wife wanted to make love and you were like, I don't know if I'll be able to stir anything? Probably just killing time.

0:38Keyzie:Curiosity more than anything else. I don't even know how I got it. I think I was given it. I'll give it a nudge, see what happens.

0:45Mike Minogue:What time of day was this?

0:47Keyzie:About nine in the morning.

0:49Mike Minogue:Were you just home alone?

0:51Keyzie:Yeah.

0:56Mike Minogue:He says home by yourself He took a early night To send me a massive rate

1:02Keyzie:I mean if you're gonna do that sort of shit You want to give it a test run don't you? No

1:07Mike Minogue:I've never taken one

1:09Keyzie:Well you should Neither should you be No I know right

1:11Mike Minogue:But like I can't imagine taking something And then it just forcing this giant stomp It doesn't Yeah it doesn't No You've got to be You've got to be sexually aroused Yeah, yeah. Right.

1:22Keyzie:Neither have I. That's the only thing I've ever tried. I've been given a, what, three. I think I've got three variations on Viagra. Sure. But I haven't got any of them. Whatever. I haven't. I'll tell you if I had. I don't know if you would. Oh, I would. I would. Well, why don't you pass them on to me and I'll have a. . . You just have them at 9 a.m. Yeah, and just see what happens. Fair enough. I'll just sit nude on my couch and take them and then see what happens. It used to be a thing in the early 2000s that people would take Viagra with ecstasy.

1:55Mike Minogue:Right. Why? Well, because ecstasy has an adverse reaction or adverse effect on your downstairs as a rule. Does it? Can do, certainly. I thought ecstasy made you horny as F. Well, it certainly makes you affectionate, but yeah, the blood's not necessarily pumping in all the right directions. Oh, okay. Interesting. So if you're rolling out of Viagra, Keezy, with that, that's the way to go, brother. Right. There must be a name for that, actually, that concoction.

2:21Keyzie:So, okay, so...

2:23Mike Minogue:Sextasy. There you go.

2:25Keyzie:So was the philosophy behind that, that you'd be massively affectionate, et cetera, with a rager? With a rager. Because you might want to enjoy that side of things. Side of it, yes. As opposed to being disappointed with yourself. Well, you see, that's the interesting thing, is that I thought ecstasy weren't just rooted.

2:41Mike Minogue:What do you do when you are in a her-over mood?

2:44Keyzie:I tend to be quiet. I'm quiet as well.

2:47Mike Minogue:I go quiet.

2:47Keyzie:I'm dark. I get dark.

2:50Mike Minogue:And then my wife will be like, all goods over there? All goods. And she'll be like, hey, babe. And I'll pretend I didn't hear her. And then she'll be like. Oh, that bad. That's pretty childish, isn't it? She'll be like, babe. And then she'll be like, oh, are you grumpy? Power of a mood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll be like, yeah, I'm grumpy, all right? What about it? And she'll be like, oh, sorry, I just didn't know you were grumpy. And now that I know you're in something to that effect, and then instantly I'm not really that grumpy anymore. Yeah. But you just carry it on.

3:13Keyzie:It's one of those things where you probe or don't probe.

3:17Mike Minogue:What are you talking about?

3:18Keyzie:Well, you know, when you know your partner. Like my wife doesn't really get in bad moods really, but I put her in some just by asking if she is in a bad mood. I go, are you in a bad mood, darling? You're a bit VT.

3:32Mike Minogue:VT, vinegar tits.

3:34Keyzie:And she's like, no, I'm not.

3:37Mike Minogue:Did you do that this morning?

3:38Keyzie:No. The point I was trying to make was I was very mild And The interesting thing about it was The point I was saying is I'm a backbone I didn't tell anyone That's how I felt And then unsolicited Everyone was saying to me I just can't be arsed today I just can't be into it I'm just not into it

4:00Mike Minogue:What you would have been doing is going I can't be arsed today, can you? And then they will go, no, none either

4:05Keyzie:Or you would have been going But I do that as a matter of course Yeah In fact, my wife said to me She says to me all the time Oh, that was a big sigh Yes I get that as well I don't even notice it No, neither do I Neither do I The Horaki Beach Show Weekdays from 4 On Radio Horaki Now that's good listening And it's live What are you listening to there? Oh, me? Oh, sorry I was listening to the Radio Hauraki Big Show. Right. Four to seven weekdays. Yeah, that's quite specific. And I heart radio. Wado. Cheers.

4:49Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show Podcast.

4:51Keyzie:I'm trying not to smoke in the car now.

4:54Mike Minogue:Right, okay.

4:54Keyzie:And that's what you qualify as not smoking in the car as having a hand outside the window. No, it doesn't count that, unfortunately. You stick your head out the window to have a puff. What a backbone. My big weakness is the one after the show, and I'll still have that. Right. Why do you need one? No, it doesn't. I just love it. Yeah, yeah. It's my second favourite smoke of the day.

5:16Mike Minogue:Could you just have two smokes a day and that's it? No. It's either cold turkey, right, or just two a day, one in the morning and one after the show. Is that an option?

5:26Keyzie:It's not an option.

5:27Mike Minogue:Not really, no. So cold turkey is the only option? Well, yes. Yeah, okay. It's just so interesting Because I just couldn't smoke Because of my asthma Yeah And now I don't know anything about it What about your piss drinking Could you just have two Every time Every time you drank You could only ever have two I can have two As long as no one else is drinking Yeah sure So could you just have two Every time you drank I mean if I had to Yeah I actually could For the rest of your life No not for the rest of my life Yeah Well hang on So the answer is the same As for the Siggies It's like I mean, I could on some days, but then other days I'll have 50.

6:05Mike Minogue:Right. But the thing with me is if no one else is drinking and there's no booze in my house, I don't want to drink. Right. Is that the same with smoking? No. Yeah. Or do you feel like, shit, I could go for a smoke right now? Because I don't feel that way. Always. Always I feel that way. Right, okay. Yeah. It's so interesting, man. The great thing is I've come back and I get to pack the house and move this weekend, so that's a good relaxing little week I've got going for myself there. I fucking love the way you are just like constantly busy. Yeah, I'm under that too. It fucking cracks me up, man.