BEST OF THE DISCLAIMER: Nighty Night

0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Dog It. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horeke.

0:15Keyzie:I've never had ecstasy. No. Have you experienced ecstasy? But I've heard people talking about it and they're all kissy, cuddly, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, kissy, cuddly. That's different, Jason. Yeah, but I just assumed... That's a speech and not raging. What they meant is that they just rooted. Because you can't really differentiate between being a horn dog. In terms of being a horn dog, a little bit of gunch is pretty good. Doesn't hurt. It's pretty good. You ever done that, Keezy? And 20 beers. It is good. Have you ever done that? It is good.

0:51Mike Minogue:Now, if I come in steamed.

0:53Keyzie:No, no, I'm talking a little bit. You have a little bit of a toot on the pug flute. on the pug flute, and then you make out, she's good. Good. Have you got any dope at the moment, Moggy? No.

1:05Mike Minogue:And if he did, he wouldn't say it on this potty, that's for sure.

1:08Keyzie:Well, no, I mean, because you've got the medicinal stuff. I do get the medicinal. Yeah, yeah. And in fact, I do still have it. You should give it to me. No, you should buy it. I'll buy it off you. In fact, why don't you do what I did and get some medicinal weed? I actually looked into that. It took ages. It took ages for you. Yeah. Not long at all for everybody else. Well, look, it just seems a waste if you're not using it to just get, I'll buy it off you. How much are we talking? I think it costs you about 400 bucks an ounce, man. You just go on the website and you set up an appointment.

1:40Mike Minogue:You can't buy drugs off Mike on a podcast. I'm not a drug dealer, man. I don't want a whole ounce. If I start selling you drugs, that makes me a drug dealer. If you buy it through the legal channels, then that's tickety-boo. And I'm more than happy for that to happen.

1:54Keyzie:Okay. But I recommend you do. You see old Mookie gave me a little wink there. Did he? Yeah, yeah.

2:00Mike Minogue:But you can't buy prescription drugs off another person. That's illegal.

2:05Keyzie:But it's also cool. Well, you tried to buy that Viagra off me the other day, and I went, nah. That's right. For that very reason.

2:11Mike Minogue:You were like, nah, I've got tomorrow morning 9am lined up to just sit at home with a rager. Totally, man. Just me and Tigger. Tigger, look at this rager. Huh?

2:21Keyzie:I don't know that Tigger's ever seen my rager, because he's an outside cat. Because he's only 10 years old and that's how long it's been since you had one. No, he must be like 14 or 15. Wow.

2:34Mike Minogue:I reckon one of the funniest things is a rager in sweatpants. You know what I mean? I do. Because the sweatpants are so... I get it. Expandy. Yeah, it's quite funny. I woke up at 2.30. How was your sleep? Terrible. Yeah. I went to sleep real easy, Keezy. You'll love this yarn. About nine just after. Out, man. I was out. Yep. Until 2.30. Wide awake. Then for the – that was me up. Me up at 2.30. Do you want to know how I slept? No, not yet. Very similar. Very similar. Because you were having an early night last night, weren't you? What did you think about when you woke up? I was thinking about work.

3:15Not radio, but work.

3:16Mike Minogue:I was thinking about screen tests I did today. Screen test? Oh, yeah. And I was like, oh, how should I play? And like, you know, what might be involved? and then as soon as you start something like that, you're fucked. Yeah, I was thinking about something that was equally a waste of time and not productive and that you could not solve at all in your sleep but is nevertheless something that's really annoying me. So anyway.

3:42Keyzie:I read a little quote yesterday, I think it was. I don't have it directly in my head, but it was something to the effect of No amount of anxiety that you think or feel makes any difference to anything. And I went, yeah, that's true. Try telling yourself that. Yeah, exactly. It doesn't make any difference. You're lying there going, oh, there's no point in thinking about that. Continue to think about it for two hours. No, I had a burning chest. Yeah, I am worried about you. I've got something going on in my chest at the moment. You know what the burning chest is? You're still smoking, man? Indigestion.

4:13Keyzie:Way less, and maybe that's the problem. Yeah, step it up, man.

4:16Mike Minogue:Do you know what the burning chest is? What? Meat patties. Yeah. Where your nips should be. You've got your meat patty nips are burning up a storm there. And they're burnt.

4:24Keyzie:No, but like a sort of acid-y, reflux-y.

4:28Mike Minogue:Yeah. Have you been eating a lot of Aunt Betty's sticky date? No, I've - Truthfully. Truthfully.

4:33Keyzie:Hand on heart. Burning heart. I just went, no, this is bad. You should go to the doctor's. How many did you have? This is bad.

4:41Mike Minogue:I went to the doctor today, actually. No, I mean about Aunt Betty's.

4:44Keyzie:I can't do that every night. That shit's poisoned me.

4:47Mike Minogue:How many did you have over the weekend, though?

4:48Keyzie:None. Really? Yes, honest to God. The last one I had was like last Thursday.

4:54Mike Minogue:So now that you've been sent a whole lot, you've decided, nah, I'm done. Well, my daughter's eating them. Well, that's good. That's great. They're yummy.

5:01Keyzie:But then I wake up. I do that thing of being awake but not really awake, and it feels like it goes on forever. Dozing. Yeah. Snoozing. Yeah. And then I go to, you know, I think my wife's there, and I go to hug her, and she's not there. Why are you hugging her?

5:17Mike Minogue:You're trying to wake her up. That's what you're trying to do right there I do spoons Yeah I mean spoons I do spoons I didn't do one last night And I should have Because normally what happens is As soon as I spoon my wife I'm all snuggly then And I'll go to sleep much much faster Yes But also I don't want to wake her up Yeah So I'll try and get back to sleep by myself Yeah Sometimes I say Because I'll just go spoon And she can always hear me Yes But sometimes she doesn't want to But that's the difference is though You're trying to put yourself to sleep Jase was trying to wake his wife up The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

5:54Mike Minogue:Now that's good listening. And it's live. What are you listening to there? Oh, me? Oh, sorry. I was listening to the Radio Hauraki Big Show. Right. Four to seven weekdays. Yeah, that's quite specific. And iHeartRadio. Wado. Cheers. The Horaki Big Show Podcast The funny thing about Europe though A lot of the places you go And you won't get this Jase And you won't get this Jase Fuck it feels like you're just at Disneyland Yeah You know what I mean Did you go to the main really touristy small And you just get there And everyone's a tourist No one's a local And it's just like you're on a fucking ride at Disneyland Looking at shit that isn't really real And it's just I felt like that a lot Yeah

6:42Keyzie:Whereas Vietnam

6:43Mike Minogue:You'd feel like you're in amongst the...

6:45Keyzie:Yeah, well, I mean, case in point, did anyone in Europe offer you a blowjob in a market? Not in a market, but in a brothel. Oh, in the brothel? Right. You see, somewhere like Spain very much appeals to me. I think they were... I'm wandering the cobbled streets. Yes. But you said there's no cobbles. There are cobbles. Very cobbled. So, you know, all that sort of stuff appeals to me greatly. Sun. Yes. Beautiful beaches, that kind of thing. you know sort of ancient artefacts okay it's not artefacts

7:16Mike Minogue:it's the sheer it's just the architecture the architecture

7:20Keyzie:yeah well that's right the cathedrals the churches I wouldn't be so much into them as to the everyday living of the people yes I agree our bedtime routine is always the same we go to sleep at exactly the same time turn the light off read a book hoity J spoons yeah when you put your arm over what do you reckon three minutes and then you're over it I generally go maybe seven or eight minutes that long that's quite long It is quite long, and then I turn over to my side and go to sleep. I get over it very quickly. Do you think anybody likes this podcast? Well, just look at the numbers, Moggy. Top 10.

7:53Mike Minogue:Whoever's watching this on YouTube right now, look at the views. Oh, my God. Look at the view counter, and that'll tell you the answer. 300? Four. Is that where we sit? 40. When you put your arm over your wife, Jase, do you go,

8:05Keyzie:No, why would I do that?

8:07Mike Minogue:I don't know. I just picture you doing that for a lot of stuff, because you do do that for a lot of stuff now.

8:12Keyzie:I put my arm around her And I go Night baby girl That's honk honk

8:17Mike Minogue:That's fucking weird

8:19Keyzie:No I don't say that I just go Oh I'll tell you what I do Honk honk I give her three squeezes Yes