BEST OF THE DISCLAIMER: Tokey-J

0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Dog It. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horeke.

0:15Keyzie:It would be interesting actually to weigh yourself before and after, wouldn't it?

0:19Mike Minogue:Well this is how they figured out that humans used food for energy was that a famous scientist like 300 years ago weighed all of his bodily excretions and they were always like a third of the amount of food he'd eaten. And he was like, well, it must go somewhere. That's when they figured out that was what was giving you energy. And then you burn it. Thick as shit, weren't they, back then? Yeah. Yeah. I nearly, I... I've put on a kilo in the last two weeks, fellas. Is that good? That's good, man. I'm bulking up. Bulking up, bro. That's so sick, man. You're going to be ripped. I'm going to be huge.

0:50Keyzie:I nearly ate your horny choccy bar today. Mine? Then I went, you know that you gave us yesterday? Oh, yeah. And then I went, oh, no, I'll wait for the – We're heading into the boudoir before I eat my horny chocolate. I said my wife loves chocolate, so I said, oh, you want to have this? And she's like, nah.

1:08Mike Minogue:I'm just picturing like Jace getting ready for bed and then quickly scampering off to the kitchen, like stuffing his face, then coming back with chocolate all around his mouth and all over his hands. And a massive rager. And a massive rager and be like, let's do this. Whoa. What is that? Sorry, guys. Oh, come on, man. I'm really sorry. I get this happens a bit. Anyway, sorry about that. You missed my story. It was funny. No, I didn't.

1:32Keyzie:It was a good story. With chocolate all around my mouth and a massive rage.

1:37Mike Minogue:And then she whips you with a towel and you're like, don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate.

1:41Keyzie:I've got to be honest with you, today was one of those days. And I... I feel like a freight train. I have variations of this particular theme, but today I sincerely couldn't be fucked. Right. With just everything.

1:56Mike Minogue:What about the radio show?

1:56Keyzie:And then, weirdly enough, my wife was in exactly the same mood. That would have been a good combo. Like, just was not into it. And usually it's just me being a grumpy old bastard, you know, and carrying on like a whining bastard. Yeah, a standy hooty joke. But then when I was filming, everyone on set and everyone I was working with was in the same mindset. So hang on. It's a beautiful day up there, but no one today seems to be fucked. So you were going around with a miserable expression. I was still happy.

2:28Mike Minogue:What's the common denominator? I just couldn't. I just wasn't into it. You woke up in a horror of a mood, put your wife in a bad mood, drove to this mystery TV show, late night, Big Breakfast, by the way, it's coming back, and got all of them into a bad mood. And now you're here pissing me off.

2:42Keyzie:No, it was just one of those feelings that I had of exhaustion. Feelings. And I just couldn't be fucked. But I didn't take it out on anyone. I just held it within myself. You were carrying around a sort of a whir of a mood. No, I wasn't in a whir of a mood. I was not in a whir of a mood. You did one of your stoning silences. Were you carrying around your stoning silence? But this is the thing. Were you doing this a lot? I was so just over the day that I actually reached a point where I just didn't really care. So I was not in a whir of a mood. The Hauraki B Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

3:22Now that's good listening. And it's live. What are you listening to there? Oh, me? Oh, sorry. I was listening to the Radio Hauraki Big Show. Right. Four to seven weekdays. Yeah, that's quite specific. And iHeartRadio. What, oh? Cheers.

3:44Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show Podcast. Can I say something? I don't want you to take any offence to it.

3:49Keyzie:And my wife hates gardening. Apparently not. Can I? Well, I see. It depends what it is. Is that one of the worst lines ever? You can't say that.

3:57Mike Minogue:What? Well, you can say it. But you've got to promise you're not going to be offended. Well, I mean. I promise. You're a cunt. I don't know. I don't know if I'll be offended or not. Can I rephrase it? I mean no offence. Ah, there we go. This is just. That's good. And it's a question. Can I just say I'm looking forward to this? Yes. It is a question. Can you just clip this off as a trailer here, Pugsman? It's not going to be worth it. But the question is, I picture your house not getting a lot of sun. I picture your house quite cold because all the trees and stuff are overgrown around it and your house never gets any sun.

4:30Mike Minogue:Is that true?

4:31Keyzie:No.

4:32Mike Minogue:Right, heaps of sun.

4:33Keyzie:Yeah, we get a lot of sun. Right. See, no offence. Our second lounge, our little lounge, is bathed in sunlight.

4:41Mike Minogue:Right, north facing.

4:41Keyzie:And we also had a massive tree that used to be out of the front of the house, which was massive.

4:46Mike Minogue:What, the massive tree? The massive tree was massive. Which we got. That was big.

4:49Keyzie:We got rid of and did douche. Like all the lounges are flooded with light.

4:54Mike Minogue:All the lounges? Yeah, all the two lounges.

4:56Keyzie:Two lounges.

4:57Mike Minogue:Don't lie, you've got three. But you do always have your curtains closed because you hate the sunlight. That's true, yeah, yeah. You just close all the curtains and punch darts. And watch Last of the Summer Wine on TV. Yeah. And Dog Squad.

5:10Keyzie:I punch darts in my house. Those were the days. I'll tell you what, man. I wish I could. I was reflecting quite a lot on medicinal marijuana. I don't know why it came into my head. Sure. And I was thinking, God, maybe I should just get some medicinal marijuana just for medicinal purposes.

5:26Mike Minogue:You probably could get prescribed some. Oh, you absolutely could. Yeah, yeah. There's a listening of errors that you could blame so that you could get yourself your hands on medicinal marijuana. You should get some marijuana. And then we'll go out to the batch and you can just.

5:40Keyzie:Yeah, well, I could come into work every day and have a bucky bong and just be like. It's not a bad idea. It's medicinal.

5:47Mike Minogue:Why don't you?

5:49Keyzie:Well, you can do it. I've told you how to do it. Yeah, you have. But the reason I bring it up, because it was just a random thought just came into my head. Get into the medicinal marijuana. Yeah, treat yourself.

5:59Mike Minogue:Do random things come into your head all the time?

6:01Keyzie:Yes. Most of which comes out. Go on, Keezy. What do you mean go on, Keezy? I don't know what you're talking about. You've got something locked in right there. No, no, no, no. You're ready to fire it off.

6:13Mike Minogue:No, man, it's all G. The Hodaki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki