COLD CUTS: A Faux Backbone

0:01Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keyzie. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. It is the Exponents of the Hauraki Big Show. Tuesday evening with Keyzie, Mogi and Pug-san. I believe Pugs, you've got another best of the Big Show moment for us, man. Yeah, it's kind of good timing because Mogi, you've got Mogi Minogue Jr. not so well at home at the moment. This is the best bit from around about this time three years ago. Yeah. Mogi Minogue Jr. wasn't well. Oh, really? Yes, but you really needed to get her into school. Okay. Right, okay. So hang on just quickly. What's wrong with Mogi Minogi at the moment?

0:32Mike Minogue:Snotty. Snotty, okay. So it's quite good. Her last day of school was today. Right. It was only a half day, but she couldn't go because she fell ill. So, yeah, it's good. Headed into the holidays sick. Yeah, nice. That's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, well, let's listen to what Mogi and Mogi Minogi were up to three years ago.

0:51Keyzie:We're talking sickness and illness, particularly amongst our youngsters and what to do with them when they get into that situation. Which stemmed from you turning up to work sick today, which I'm not happy about, to be honest with you. Seriously, my wife and I were having a massive discussion because she was going the same thing because she worked in a bloody medical place, saying, well, tests are negative, what do we do? Because the rules now apparently are if you test negative, you go to work. Well, that's true. Four or five months ago, there's not a shitshow chance I would have turned up today.

1:23Yeah, and you're not meant to turn up with COVID, but also not any sickness, particularly for somebody like yourself. You've got your sore throat, you've got your migraine, it hurts to blink. You've got bleeding gums that are bleeding all over your teeth. You can't feel anything below the waist and you shat yourself. Yeah. I don't want that.

1:40Mike Minogue:Look, I'll be honest. Just because it's not COVID doesn't mean we want to be sitting over here. I'd rather have COVID, to be honest.

1:44Keyzie:I'll be honest. It's, you know, only a little way off how I feel most days.

1:49Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:50Keyzie:Take out the numbness below the waist and the shatting myself. Generally, that's how I generally feel.

1:56Mike Minogue:The annoying thing about it is, like, if you are sick, you don't have to come in. Minogue and I have definitely got it covered. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, people wouldn't even notice.

2:04Keyzie:Oh, look, if I had my chance, I wouldn't have. But you had to come in here and pick up a few bags of chips and some lollies, eh? Oh, yeah, yeah. Snack intake has to stay up. Those fudge things were beautiful. I like that. Hoed into those.

2:19Mike Minogue:Hang on, you guys were discussing you had some sort of hack for how to drop off a sick kid to daycare. Oh, nice segue, Keezy. Yeah, well, the thing about Liz, when you've got a kid that's sick, you're prepared to stay at home with them and look after them for a certain amount of time, but it gets to a point where you've actually got things to do.

2:32Keyzie:Yeah. And also you need a break. And that's the thing with daycare. It's essentially their babysitter so that you don't lose your mind. But when you've got a kid who's crook, and it's been a while for you, Jase, but what I do is let's say that she's got a cold, some kind of a flu. you've got to get her in through the gate drop the bag off, say g'day and get out before she sneezes you've got to make sure that before you get through the gate that you've given her nose a good wipe as soon as they see the runny nose, she's out and you've just got to act like everything's okay and get out of there now as soon as you leave you've got to turn your phone off because they will try and call you to get you to pick her up because she'll get everybody else sick But that's no longer your problem because it's up to them to find that out before you get out the door.

3:22As soon as I get out the door, I'm free. Right. It's no longer my problem. It's their problem. Okay. All right? I'm paying good money. Is that how you did it, Jase? Yeah, absolutely.

3:32Keyzie:You get them in looking as good as possible. Even I went so far as I remember once one of my girls was very, very sick with the sort of flu and pale as go get out. so I had to put some makeup on her and pinch her cheeks and stuff to rouge her up a bit, you know what I mean? To make her look a bit healthier. What I often get now is with my youngest, she's at high school, and you'll get the call from the nurse there saying, oh, your little one's sick in the sick bay. And that's always easy because they've got a sick bay. You go, oh, look, really busy at the moment, can't make it. Let her stay in the sick bay and I'll come and get her later.

4:13Keyzie:and then it's after school and she can just catch the bus home. No, exactly. You know what I mean? First in first, sir.

4:18Mike Minogue:Because I don't have kids. The only thing I can sort of relate this to is it like when you've got a car that's about to...

4:22Keyzie:Do you have weak sperms, Kesey?

4:25Mike Minogue:When you've got a car that's about to crap out, so you give it a wash and you tidy it up, it's got a warrant and then you sell it. You know what I mean? Like you get it looking good and then it's gone and then it's not your problem. No, it's quite different. I actually had a... Massively so. We had one a few months ago where she got really ill. You know, she couldn't even carry her own weight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I sort of brought her in through the gate there, and it was essentially just dragging her. I was like, get it together, man. Get it together. She just couldn't. You know what I mean?

4:53She was buggered. Yeah, yeah. And they said, hold up. Hold up. Is she crook? So they busted me. But I had a bit on that day, so I just wandered down the side, and I just threw her over the fence.

5:09Mike Minogue:That's how you do it, man. That's how you do it. That's a true story. You did? That's a true story. You lobbed her over the fence? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She landed in the sandpit. She was all good. Oh, yeah, nice. Do you still have a similar sort of method to parenting, or have you learnt more? No, I think that sort of sums it up there, Keezy. Yeah, look, sometimes you've just got a bit on, and everybody else around you, your community, they need to pick up the slack. Yeah, right. You know what I mean? That's some great parenting tips there. By the way, if you ever need advice on parenting, meet PattyNips69.

5:40Mike Minogue:on gmail.com. Yes. Get in touch whenever you want. Also, if you ever feel like you're missing out on the big show over the summer holidays, look up Hauraki Big Show, wherever you get your podcasts from. Every single show we've ever done is available for your listening pleasure. And available. Available for your listening pleasure. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. It is pill jam on the Hauraki Big Show. Tuesday evening with Keezy Mogi and old Pug San, and we're giving away a boat this summer, fellas. thanks to our mates at Fin Chaser. It's a hell of a boat. It's a big bastard.

6:14Mike Minogue:75K is worth, eh, I reckon? Is that a size, Pugs, or is that a cost? Is that a price? That's in nautical dollars. Nautical dollars. Shillings. Yeah, in terms of size, they were saying it can fit through the Panama Canal, but only since it's been widened. Right. Yeah, so before they widened it a couple of years ago, the Fin Chaser 535 Centered Console with a Mercury 60 horse four-stroke wouldn't have been able to make it through, but they can now. That's how big it is. And, of course, it comes on a Voyager trailer as well. If you're keen to win this sucker, all you have to do is text the word BOAT to 3483.

6:46Mike Minogue:That is BOAT. Yes. To 3483. Don't send through the – we're looking for the name of the boat, but don't send through the name to 3483. Just the word BOAT. We'll send you a link. Fill it out there. I've just been sent a list of the nominations for today in terms of names, fella. Yes. It's quite a long list. People are getting into it. Try these on for size, all right? Here we go. Hoity Jizz Boat. Out the gate. Love it. That's the one straight away. Yeah, that's fantastic. I quite like Stink Finger. See, I wasn't going to read out Stink Finger. No? Because I don't know. I just think as a station.

7:16Mike Minogue:Because we're fish. Yeah, no, I know. Yeah. Because you do get smelly hands from dealing with fish. But I also just think. Fish Fingers. Yeah, see, Fish Fingers I'd like. Yeah. You'd like that, would you? So the other one I wasn't going to read out was Dapani Sniffer. Oh, I thought it would have been Filthy Ore. Filthy Ore, but that's clever, you know. What about Only Fins? I really like that one. Oh, that's pretty good. That's great. I have noticed here a trifecta of meat patty nips, hairy ripples. That's good. Yeah. Well, I'd say, no, I'd say I would probably intervene at this point and say, no, we're not naming the boat there.

7:49Mike Minogue:No, I'd really like it. Yeah, keep going. Reefer? Hardly know her. Yeah, Reefer's good. No, it's not. You don't like Reefer? Reefer. Yeah. That's all right. That's fine. The FM Floater. The FM Floater. because it's like a floater which is like a funny word for like poos poos yeah what's the fm bit ah hauraki fm oh because that's what we're called sure really i'm not sure uh the godfisher uh more of that m-o-o-r uh what do we got here the seductress the seductress i think that's clever i really like that swallow hook and gag swallow hook and gag that's not three separate ones that's one that's one name right okay ship faced Bloke on the water.

8:35Mike Minogue:Oh, that's good. Shipface is good. I also like Bloke on the water. I haven't seen Boaty McBoatface, which I would have thought would have got to run. Yeah, there's always someone that chucks those out, eh? Thinlizzy, Naughty Intentions, Thick Sea Space Man. Peer Pressure. Peer Pressure's good. Spout P-E-I-R. Or is it P-I-E-R? P-I-E-R. Yes, yes. So there's some great names coming through. If you've got a great name for this boat and you'd like to win it, As Pug said, it's worth$75 ,000 nautical. Text the word BOAT to 3483. You can head to hodaki.co.nz to see all the details. Yes. The package is amazing.

9:12Mike Minogue:Can I just say you've got to be in to win? 100 % bogey. So just enter the bloody thing. You could end up with a sick boat. The Hodaki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki. The Gorillaz there, Clint Eastwood on the Hodaki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. 26 minutes past for Mogey. How would you describe my taste in television? It's hard to know because you're so badly influenced by your wife. Would you like me to tell you how I describe your wife's taste in television? Well, my wife's taste is my taste, Mogey. How would you describe it?

9:50Mike Minogue:Elderly. Well, I've got some breaking news.

9:57Mike Minogue:This is Breaking News. The official list, courtesy of TVNZ, came out today of the most watched TV shows for the year. So TVNZ's most watched TV shows, to be clear. Our national broadcaster. That's right. Okay. You familiar with them? I've heard of them. Didn't you have a show on there? Couple, Keezy. Oh, really? Couple three. Three or four. Hamilton Paranormal. So TVNZ 1, 2, Duke, and of course the streaming stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So TVNZ Plus. The number one show. Oh, can we count down? Or is this the only one that people like, that you like? The number one show. Yes. TVNZ One News. Yeah. Okay.

10:40Mike Minogue:Well, yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. That's the news, yeah. 3.2 million viewers watched, on average, this year, watched One News. A week? No, I don't think a week. Just have watched it. Right. That's not great data. You don't think so? Anyway, but I take your point. Yep. Okay. That's number one regardless. Yeah. Number two, can you guess what it is? Favourite of mine? Yeah, Grand Designs are one of those. Oh, actually, it should be Country Calendar. Country Calendar, baby. Number two. Yeah. Second most watched? I'm all about that. I'm all about that. I love that it's Country Calendar. Now, I don't watch it, not because I don't want to, but just because I don't watch that TV.

11:18You know, I don't watch TV when it comes on. I know I could go and stream it, but it just never occurs to me. but it sort of speaks to the fact that most people that are watching TV like that are probably in the country, right?

11:30Mike Minogue:Yeah, well, I guess so. I don't know. But I'm from the city-ish. You know, I'm not... But you're a country boy. You grew up on three acres of avocados, man. I mean, is there anyone more farmer backbone than old Kesey? Yeah, lifestyle block Kesey. I guess that is pretty farmer. That counts, man. That's pretty farmer basis. You've got a pair of brand new, you know, or at least they look brand new, gumboots. Oh, the red bands? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, too scared to wear them. Wear them inside? Yeah, I just want to keep them in tip-top condition. I've never washed my swanny. Let's put it that way. No need.

11:58Mike Minogue:It still looks brand new. So those are the top two, right? No surprises there. Inside the top ten, five of the shows were based on the real estate market. Okay? Now, this is my cup of tea. This is city boy watches, you know? No, I think it's across New Zealand. People are aspirational and like watching people buy and sell houses, you know. So Moving Houses was in there. New Zealand's Best Homes with Phil Spencer. Love it or List It, New Zealand. You guys like that one? Yeah, it's okay, yeah. Oh, is that the one Jace loves? No, he loves Place in the Sun. Right. The UK one. I love, well, I don't really love anything.

12:39Mike Minogue:I just watch them because my wife also likes them. That's right, which is also your taste. Grand Designs New Zealand is also in there. How hot's that guy? And Find My Country House. Speaking of all passes. Find My Country House New Zealand is also in there. Find My Country House? I've not heard of that one. That's the one that is hosted by the guy that used to host Squirt. Oh, yes. Matt? Yes, Matt Gibb. Matt Gibb. Yeah. And basically people are living in the city and they're looking for a country house. Yeah. I love it. You do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's good stuff, isn't it? Well, that's, yeah.

13:12Mike Minogue:So what I was basically saying is my taste in viewing. It's very common. It's very common taste. Ah. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. You've got a lot in common with a lot of people. Yeah, yeah. I'm just one of the herd. Yeah, meat and two spuds, missionary. Lights off. Yeah. Meat and two spuds. Old meat and two spuds, Keezy. That's what they call it. You know? Thanks, fellas. Well, this has worked out well. If you'd like some meat and two spuds re-burger, you just hold the phone there, caller. We'll be asking you to give us a call on 0800-HODAKY soon. I may have misspoken with the meat and two spuds, but it gives you a visual.

13:46Yeah, I know it does. The meat's a sausage.

13:48Mike Minogue:Oh, is it? Yeah. Ah. A little one. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Aka Daka on the Hauraki Big Show Thursday afternoon with Keezy, Mogi, and Pugs-san. We've got some best of the big show for you now, don't we, Pugs? That's right, we do. And I thought this one was appropriately placed. It came from a time before the era of Meat Padding Up 69. Right. Where people would just text in advice questions to the big show willy-nilly, and if we felt like they were good enough, we would just do it. Right, okay. So this is from three years ago. I want to say November 2022.

14:23Mike Minogue:And this was just a text that came through on 3483. Right, and is it 100 % anonymous? And do they get a$50 e-burger voucher? No, none of that. Oh, wow, crazy. Now, this is a serious question. Yeah. Do you know how I know that, Kesey? How? Because at the start it says serious question. Oh, right on, brother. Yeah, yeah. Then it goes on to say, relationship advice, please, from you good fellas. Ooh, relationship advice. I am a female. Oh, yeah.

14:49Keyzie:What does the meme for that to sound so creepy, actually? I'm a female who has a bit of a crush on a guy. From the male perspective, is it good to know that females have a crush on you? What would your advice be on this matter, and what kind of approach should I take, if any? Many thanks.

15:10Mike Minogue:That's a good question. That is a good question. Can I start by saying I wouldn't know?