COLD CUTS: A Vintage Pull

0:00Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keyzie. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

0:07Keyzie:Silver chair there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. Let's give out some advice.

0:13Mike Minogue:Be pretty nips 69 at gmail.com. Get in touch with the fellas. Oh, Keyzie, you've ruined it. Oh, what? Ruined. But you can still understand what it was saying. It's a real email address. Meet pattynips69 at gmail.com. Get in touch if you need advice. Good news, fellas. Plenty of questions came in over the weekend. So the segment will sustain itself for another week or so. Great stuff, Gizzi. And just remember with the questions too, keep them radio friendly, otherwise we can't read them out. This one comes from Anonymous. G'day, Backbones. I have a serious HR issue with my team at work, and I am in desperate need of some quality advice.

0:54Mike Minogue:We're in construction. At the end of last year, our team had a house to finish building, and one of the fellas, let's call him Mason, decided to take a week of annual leave in the very last week of work, leaving the remaining two of us left to carry the load. It's a hoity J manoeuvre. We smashed it out of the park and managed to hand the keys over on time, but regardless, our so-called friend left us in the lurch when we needed him the most. Now in the new year, our old mate Mason is carrying on about the importance of teamwork and refusing to admit that he threw his mates under the bus right when we needed him the most.

1:24Mike Minogue:What do you feel is the appropriate punishment for a team member that lets down his mates in the last week of the year like that. Cheers. Anonymous. Yeah, Jase, I guess you can't really talk about this because you are somebody who does let down your mates. Yeah, when it comes to leave, Jase is just... Oh, man, he's rolling in it, isn't he? He's like a pig in shit. Sorry, fellas. A pig with lots of poos to roll in. I mean, it's hard, right, because you've got annual leave and you're allowed to take it whenever you want.

1:49Keyzie:Yeah, that's your call. Absolutely it is. Can I just say, I did come back for the breakfast show. Oh, you did?

1:55Mike Minogue:Yeah, you did, mate.

1:56Keyzie:And let me make this very clear. I didn't have to. Can I also say that I feel like Jase needed that time off.

2:07Mike Minogue:100%. So having a go at him, Keezy, is a bit rough. Well, hang on. This isn't about having a go at Jase. This is about this builder here who took time off. You're a shocking bastard.

2:16Keyzie:I'm quite hurt by it, actually, Keezy, because you've been a champion for me on my leave. I still am, man. I thought you were stoked for me that I got a bit of extra leave there and now here you are just bagging me and sticking the dagger in my back as I turn around. Yes. I mean talk about you know he's talking about your teammates letting you down. I feel let down. Yeah.

2:38Mike Minogue:Fellas can I just say I didn't realise that's how it came across and I am very sorry Jase and to be honest mate yeah you deserve heaps of leave man. Thanks man. And you definitely needed leave that last you know week of the year or whatever it was when me and Mogey did the show with Pugs. Yeah. Because you know it was obvious your content was waning, your enthusiasm was down, the jokes weren't there anymore. Effen and Jeffen. Effen and Jeffen. Yeah.

3:01Keyzie:Huffing and puffing, sighing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So now you've come back and you're ready to go. Yeah, totally, man. I'm fired up. In terms of this guy's problem, what do you do with somebody who talks like that? You just call him out, surely. Call him out? Call the guy out that's banging on about teamwork while not showing up.

3:20Mike Minogue:Yeah. It's as simple as that.

3:22Keyzie:I mean, he's got a cheek to be talking about teamwork when he abandoned the team at the end of the year. What would you do in that case, Jase?

3:30Mike Minogue:I'd bag the bastard. No, you wouldn't. You'd take the week off. And I probably would as well.

3:35Keyzie:Yeah, yeah. I mean, if I was owed it, or just say through contractual negotiations, it was suddenly biffed in the... It was handed to you. It was handed to you. I mean...

3:44Mike Minogue:It's a very specific way to phrase it, Jase.

3:47Keyzie:You know, that's just how it is.

3:49Mike Minogue:Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I hope that helps. Yeah. Once again, Jase, I'm sorry for any offence. so I may have thrown you away there.

3:58Keyzie:Let's just say it's logged, Keezy. It's logged.

4:02Mike Minogue:Where? Where have you logged it? In my memory bank. Oh, okay. And it's already gone. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

4:13Keyzie:Alison Chains there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. Fellas, I had a dream last night about one of the big shows and it's left me feeling a little bit uneasy.

4:29The other day I went for the very first time at this particular joint, went and had the old sauna, the infrared sauna and the ice bath. Oh, yes. Sort of looking after you. Just needed some space, some time to myself just to sit with my thoughts. Do you know what I mean? I do. Anyway, so that was on the Sunday night there. and then I had a dream and in the dream I was getting a massage. I think it was an extension of that looking after yourself. So just sort of, you know. It wasn't really like that. But anyway, I was just getting a massage, a very, very good massage and very, very relaxing. Anyway, I'm getting a massage and, of course, when you're getting a massage, you're looking down through the hole.

5:14Yes. Down through the hole. and all you can see when you're down through the hole really are people's, you know, the masseuse's, either the carpet or the floor, but also the masseuse's legs and feet. Well, imagine my surprise in the dream where I'm looking down and what do I see but Keezy's massive floaters.

5:32Mike Minogue:My shoes. Your huge shoes. My big new balances. Your massive shoes. So Keezy is in my dream with me, uninvited. Sorry, I'm just going to kill the music. And he's giving me a massage. Which is very good, you said. A very, very good massage. Anyway, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, Keezy and I are making out. What? Couldn't you put the music? Thank you. When you say making out, I mean, in what way? French kissing. So passion, you know, tongue. Hooking up. Yeah, vigorous. And you know it's going to lead somewhere, and gradually it does. Now, I've only got a towel on. What the hell have I got on in my new balances?

6:12Can I ask, are you still on your tummy? No, I'm sitting up now. Oh, yes. Sort of side saddle. Okay. If you remember Lady Godiva and how she rode the horse. Yes. Not unlike that. Okay.

6:26Mike Minogue:Wait, so you're sitting and I'm like leaning over to pass you. Yeah, you're standing up. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, things are good. Now, the thing that made me uneasy about this was just how into it Keezy was. Are you saying that like I'm at fault here I haven't done anything wrong It was shocking Yeah Well like I He was just going so hard Yeah yeah And I woke up and I just sort of thought It's crook eh It was pretty crook from Keezy there

7:05Mike Minogue:Yeah well I mean I guess I got carried away in the dream, man. I mean, I can't control. Oh, you were getting carried away, all right. You were loving it. Absolutely loving it.

7:16Keyzie:In defence of Keezy. In defence of Keezy.

7:23Mike Minogue:Thanks, Jasey. Back me up here, brother.

7:25Keyzie:Why wouldn't he? Was he wearing only his floaters?

7:32Mike Minogue:Yes. So I was nude in my new bounces. Your massive floaters. God. And I was loving it. With a massive rage. No, I didn't have a massive... The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Who wants free, baby?

7:56Keyzie:Yes, indeed. When you hear this sting in the middle of a song... Yum. Give us a call on 0800 Hodak and you could win yourself a$50 Reburgo voucher. Brad did that. G'day Brad, you mad bastard. How's life? Oh, I can't complain today. A bit wet, but not as bad as some places. Yeah, mate. Yeah, bloody oath. Oath. Good weekend, Brad. What did you get up to, mate? Oh, we painted one of the kids' rooms top to bottom and made a bloody good exhibit. Good on you, man. How did you celebrate Lamb Day yesterday?

8:29Mike Minogue:National Lamb Day. A bit of Cofters, mate. Yeah, Cofters.

8:33Keyzie:Oh, yeah, very good. Very good. I like a Cofter.

8:37Mike Minogue:Hey, Brad, just quickly, mate, before we give you that voucher, just got to check a few things, if that's okay. Buy all means. Get full of us. What do you do for a crust, Brad? I'm a sales manager.

8:48Keyzie:Oh, okay. Yeah, well done.

8:51Mike Minogue:He's a backbone. He's a backbone. He's a backbone. Why are you guys saying that? Speeding up the economy, man. You're selling shit. Let's go. Hey, Brad, what's for tea tonight, man? Tonight we've got a bit of a car. He's breaking up a bit there. Yeah, he's not good. Is he AI? Oh. On to the next one. Really? You can't have this guy. He's AI. Oh, come on, mate. Brad, are you AI? This is why we run these checks. No, never, never. Yeah, but AI would say that. Yeah, that's exactly what AI is.

9:20Keyzie:I mean, this could be quite controversial. This could be the first ditching that we have because of AI.

9:26Mike Minogue:All right, Brad, we've got one more chance here. How often do you floss? How often do I floss? At least once a week. At least once a week, okay. Well, that felt cut off to me as well. Well, what do you mean by floss? Are we talking upstairs or...? Yeah, this is a trouble. He's talking more, which is really accentuating the problem. Yeah, right, okay. Well, this is a huge call, fellas. Well, I mean, it's an AI test for a reason. What do you think, Pugs? You've got to give it to him. Pugs thinks, no, get rid of him. Oh, he was going to fix it, and he didn't. Yeah, right. Well, he's AI. Get rid of him, mate.