COLD CUTS: Big Brain Mogey

0:00Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keyzie. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

0:06Keyzie:The Hives there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. The time is 25 minutes to seven o 'clock. Let's give out some advice, fellas. Meet Patty Nips 69 at gmail.com.

0:22Mike Minogue:Get in touch with the fellas. That's right, meet Patty Nips 69 at gmail.com. Get in touch if you need advice on anything. You get a prize if you read it out. Yeah, man. Worth doing. Anything you want to yell? I feel, I don't know if there's any rules around this, but once he's spoken, I feel like you can't then just chuck it in anywhere, can you? You can't have him yelling. Yeah, now you can't do it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So if you just randomly yell with the fellas from now on. Yeah, then that's an asterisk on your throbber this week. Yeah. Right, okay. Fair enough, too. All right, here we go. This one comes from a guy called Anonymous.

0:56Mike Minogue:With the fellas!

1:00Mike Minogue:You just couldn't help yourself, could you? God. That's shocking. It's only Monday. He's buggered up the throbber already. Can I have a big D on my throbber? No, it's a little D. Remember, you're disqualified. Anyway, this one comes from Anonymous. Who? Anonymous. Anonymous.

1:16Keyzie:God, he writes in every week, doesn't he? The guy needs to get his shit together.

1:21Mike Minogue:Yeah, I reckon he's got so many problems, man. How has it taken us this long to make that joke? Because it was such low hanging. And Jason's down there gobbling it up. Anyway, Anonymous writes, G'day, fellas. I'm seven months into a solo motorbike trip from India to the UK finishing in December. This guy gets it. This is Ewan McGregor. Sounds like Ewan McGregor. I'm doing it tough as I keep accidentally shitting myself on the bike. Don't worry about it. Any advice for a Backbone listener? Cheers. Now, I've never been to India, but I know that is a thing that does happen to you. Did he say he's going from India to the UK?

2:05Mike Minogue:From India to the UK. But we don't know where he is exactly at this moment. No. Right, so he's just somewhere on the road in between India and England shitting himself. And he sent me some photos of him in various places, which is pretty cool. All fours, look at that. Yeah, down on all fours, that one. Yep, hog out in that one. Wow. Look at that. What kind of a motorcycle is that? It's a Royal Enfield Interceptor. Wow. Do you know what?

2:28Keyzie:I like a Royal Enfield Keezy.

2:30Mike Minogue:Do you? They're actually made in India now. Are they? Yeah.

2:33Keyzie:Wow. It's a nice modification they've done on that one too.

2:36Mike Minogue:What is it? You can't even see the photos. What are you talking about? So he's dumping in his pants. Yeah, I don't know, man. What I do is when I need to go to the toilet, I stop. Like if I'm in a car, for example, and I need to go to the toilet. Joe, you'd probably be the same. And I need to do a poo. Then I stop the car and I find a toilet and I go in the toilet. But the issue is, Muggy, that's a very, very, very good point, and I hadn't thought of that. But some of the places he's riding, there aren't toilets. But would you not go on the road as opposed to in your pants? But on the road. Yeah.

3:06You're looking at me like on the road's disgusting. We're just doing cruise on the road. Yes.

3:11Mike Minogue:What do you mean, yes? I'd probably go on the side of the road. But yeah, you'd find a bush or a discreet area. Yeah. I mean, there's no more discreet area than in your pants until you get into a diner. A diner. Or a restaurant. Jase, do they have diners in India? Yes, they do. We don't know he's in India. We know he's on his way. He could be in London. No, no, he's going India to London finishing December. Oh, he's gone the other way around. Okay. Well, then he's probably not in India.

3:37Keyzie:Right. He's probably close to London now. He's probably in London.

3:42Mike Minogue:Yeah, there's probably servos everywhere. It's scheduled to finish in December. He'll get to London. Jeez, he got there early. Well, he's not there. We don't know where he... Okay.

3:50Keyzie:It must be his modified new bike. Yeah, what brand was it again, Jase? Oh, that one.

3:56Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

4:00Keyzie:Faith no more there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 5.39. Fellas, I've got a bone to pick. Ah.

4:12Last night we went along to Ingleblet.

4:15Mike Minogue:It's Inglebert Humperdink. And not Inglebird shit Chrisperdink either. Stop texting that. Another one of the greats. Another one of the greats. Now, the reason why we went, I think it's safe to say, Jason, you tell me if I'm wrong, if it wasn't for Keezy, none of us would have gone to this. True. I had no interest in it whatsoever. But went along, we had our dinner, we got all dressed up, Keezy is absolutely frothing it, I'm there to support my bud. We go out, we're having a lovely time. Now, we're sitting there waiting for him to come on, old Inglebert, and we're thinking, well, how long is this going to take?

4:45And then I was talking to my wife, and all of a sudden, and I was sort of overtaken by this need to start chanting his name. I did that a couple of times. Then I got into a conversation with Ol' Keezy and Pugsan, and this is the audio. You can see the full video at the Haureki Big Show Instagram page.

5:01Mike Minogue:Oh, Engelbert chant. Engelbert, Engelbert, Engelbert, Engelbert, Engelbert, Engelbert, Engelbert, Engelbert, Engelbert, Engelbert, Engelbert, Engelbert, Engelbert, Engelbert. Now, what it sounds like there is that me and Pugson, we start a chant. Eagle Pat, Eagle Pat, Eagle Pat, Eagle Pat. But what actually ends up happening is the whole place starts chanting and clapping. Well, not the whole place. Well, certainly not the whole place. Half the audience couldn't hear it, but certainly a lot more than it sounds like in that video. And the band were absolutely thrilled. The band were chanting. Really?

5:43The band were absolutely over. Because you'd have to say, in all of the tours they've done, the audience would never have started chanting Inglebert, Inglebert, Inglebert. No. So they were over the moon. Then they were throwing their arms up in the air. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yes, they were. They were absolutely over the moon with it. I had no idea. And you can imagine Inglebert would have been absolutely over the moon. His name has been chanted on the other side of the world. Thrilled. Now, what you can't tell by the audio is that I get up on my feet. I'm so into it. I'm chanting Inglebert.

6:12I'm on my feet. Now, what I'm thinking in my head is the whole crowd's going to follow me. But in order for the crowd to follow me, first I need a friend to support me. Yes. And I'm thinking, given Keezy is the reason why I'm there, Keezy's going to be the first one to his feet. And now I'm in Gilbert and I'm up on my feet and I'm clapping. I look over to Keezy and he is glued to his chair. And you hung me out to dry last night, man.

6:37Mike Minogue:I left you. Well, I did. And part of me was like, this is disrespectful for some reason. My brain was like, this is disrespectful. I don't know why. You're right, Inglebert probably did love it. And, in fact, the band started, he came out just as that chant finished. That's right.

6:53Keyzie:Can I just say on that front, I was chanting with you, Mogu, but I didn't actually see you get up because I couldn't see past Keezy's honker. Oh, cool.

7:05So, yeah, I just sort of want to know what the guts is, man. Like, we've supported you. I've supported you by going along. And then I get up there, I'm on my feet. alone, and you hang me out to dry.

7:18Mike Minogue:Yeah, I'm sorry, man. Not good enough, Keezy. Well, it's just, I also just like, I was like, Mogi's playing silly buggers when this is a big night for Keezy is what I was thinking. Oh, that's not silly buggers. I know, but like looking back now, it wasn't silly buggers. Everyone was loving it. People around you started clapping. I should have got up, but I froze because it was my big night. And I was like, oh, my goodness. I don't want to have an embarrassing moment, you know, attached to this big night. But the video is on the Hodaaki Big Show Instagram, and there's a lot of comments on there, most of them from you.

7:46Mike Minogue:Like this one here. You abandoned me, Keezy. Yeah. Well, you did. I felt abandoned. Yeah, totally. Man alone on an island. Thank you. I couldn't concentrate on the rest of the show because I just thought, oh, this relationship has really revealed itself. But this one here, I got cramped from my toes curling so bad. That's from another listener. And I agree. Yeah, people, it was embarrassing that I was left all alone by my friends doing a standing ovation to encourage a guy to come out on stage that I don't even care about, but I only care about because of Keezy. Yeah, I thought you were taking the piss.

8:20Mike Minogue:A lot of comments about second-hand embarrassment. Someone's suggesting we should start a new segment called What's on the Leave Mogey Hanging with Me, Keezy? Which is obviously stupid and we'd never do that. That sounds pretty good. What about, it says here as well, you pinned me up against a wall and screwed me, Keezy. That was from Mike Minogue. That was another one of yours. What about this one here? You got on all fours and looked over your shoulder at me, Keezy. That was you again. Stop commenting on our posts. And Jase, stop still laughing at the honker joke from like two minutes ago. Here's Pixies.

8:55Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

9:01Keyzie:Stone Temple Pilots here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 4.39. Yeah, g'day, fellas there. Hey, look, sometimes we've got to have a bit of a serious chat on here. It's not all, you know, all blacks and buck-ball-eager in here, fellas, is it? Eh? Yeah. It's not all giving away trips to the grand final over there in Sydney.

9:24Mike Minogue:It's not all cash, cash, cash and throbbers. That's right. It's not all pies, pies, pies, is it? It's not all buzies. Thank you. Jeez, eyes to the front, Keezy. Fellas, a couple of months ago I went and got myself a brain scan. Oh, yeah. Because I suffer from a little-known disease, and I don't like to bang on about it, but it's called polycystic kidney disease. That's when you get a whole bunch of cysts. On your brain? On your kidneys. And one of the side effects of this disease, and I'm a backbone, I don't let it bother me, but it can be brain aneurysms. You heard about those? Yeah, I have. Yeah, I've heard about them.

10:07Yes. What's your understanding of what a brain aneurysm is there, Keezy?

10:10Mike Minogue:Pretty nasty. They can just, you know, you can be totally healthy and the next minute you're not. Yeah. For example, you and I could be sitting here having a perfectly lovely chat, Keezy, and then bang, I'm face down on this keyboard. Sorry, I shouldn't laugh. Yeah, that's sad.

10:29Keyzie:Honestly, I'm not sure why you're laughing. You wouldn't be face down, you'd be initially snozzed. You'd be propped up. Yeah. You'd just be snozzed there on the keyboard pressing. What happened there? I don't know. Carry on. And then, so I got the results back today. Finally, they rang me up with the results. Oh, that's good. Can we get a drum roll?

10:57Turns out I'm really smart I can't believe I had a drum roll for that Are you serious? It turns out you're really smart That's what she said That's not why she called me She said all clear Your brain's looking sweet as So I can go hardcore on the darts I can go hardcore on the piss I'm a sweet runner But she said you look like you're really There's no gaps See a lot of times you do a scan of the brain And there's gaps there where you've got more to learn Right Turns out I'm full to the brim with knowledge. You peaked. Not bad. Right. And I'm not even 50 yet.

11:32Mike Minogue:Far out. That's really great, man. So because of your kidneys, you went and got your brain scanned and it came back that you were really smart. Well, not just that I'm really smart. Also that I can hit the dores as hard as I want and also hit the old piss. It sounds pretty smart, yeah.

11:46Keyzie:Didn't you, because of the irony of this, because you went to get your brain scanned, and then when you were coming out of the scanner, your snozz got hooked on the top of the scanner there and it broke it. What, the scanner? Yeah, it broke his snozz. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. It did. But they had to put me in the, it's an MRI, Jase. Yes. And I had to go in for one that they normally use for elephants. Oh, at the zoo? Yeah. Oh, I thought they got you to lie on your side. I don't know, yeah, right. No, because that would have broken it as well. No, it was the one down at the zoo there. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.