COLD CUTS: Danger In The Deep

0:00Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keyzie. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

0:07Keyzie:David Bowie there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. The time is 6.37. Hey, fellas, do you feel like giving out some advice? Absolutely. Absolutely. Pretty Nip 69 at gbow.com. Get in touch with the fellas.

0:27Mike Minogue:With the fellas! Good stuff, Jase. Real email address, meetpattynips69 at gmail.com. Please do get in touch, 100 % anonymous. If we read it on the show, you get a prize. Old Pakistan will send you out something nice, something shiny. Now, today's advice question, 100 % anonymous, of course. Good question. Short, to the point. I like it. G'day, fellas, anonymous here. Having a work ute means I have to sometimes drive colleagues. At the moment, I have to drive an absolute punisher an hour each way to and from work. He talks over your lovely voices the whole way home, so I miss the show. He's friendly enough, but just has the worst chat.

1:07Mike Minogue:I don't want to get angry because then the drive will turn awkward. How can I politely tell him to shut the hell up? Cheers. Anonymous. Tricky one. It is tricky because you've got to see them every day and drive together every day.

1:18Keyzie:And that is a particularly punishing amount of time to be in the car. Two hours a day? Yeah.

1:24Mike Minogue:Yeah, you can't sit in the stank of having offended him, you know. I just, every time he talks, I just lean over and just turn up the radio a little bit louder.

1:32Keyzie:You reckon? And a little bit louder. And a little bit louder. Well, it's interesting, too, because there is this phenomenon for the big show. Because quite often the fellas, generally speaking, I'm speaking in generalisations here, the fellas might be with their partners in the car wanting to listen to the fellas. Wait, so we're the fellas? We're the fella wanting to listen to the big show. Some of these guys' partners are men, though. Some of them might be.

1:59Mike Minogue:And also some of the partners who are female also listen to the show.

2:02Keyzie:A lot of them don't like listening to the show.

2:05Mike Minogue:When you say a lot of them, do you mean female? Yes. Oh, wow. I mean, that have come up to me and said,

2:12Keyzie:oh, my boyfriend is obsessed with your show. I hate it. Yes. Yeah. I don't know why that is. I can't imagine. It doesn't make any sense to me. Yeah. You know what I meant? I lie awake in bed at night thinking about it sometimes. And what are you wearing? Nothing.

2:29Mike Minogue:See, I think I figured it out. Yeah. I think I figured out the reason. Bottom trawler. I don't know what you do. It is a tough one because, you know, he's probably, well, this person's probably just trying to be polite. You're making convo, pass the time, doesn't realise that you really want to listen to your favourite radio show if it is your favourite radio show. Or the only radio station that you can get on that car. Or that. Yes. And it is tough because you want to listen to them, but also I've been in this situation too where I'm trying to, my left ear is listening to you know my wife talking for example but my right ear yeah is listening to the wahs is listening to like a podcast about the wahs or you know yeah it's a tough one it's a real tough one can you just go hey hang on a sec and just turn up the radio really loud I think so I think you just need to be honest man you just need to be honest and say hey man look I only get to listen to these guys on the way home obviously on the mornings it's not such a big deal when there's probably you know I'd like to eat breakfast or something it doesn't matter yeah it's not a biggie but in the afternoon it's a precious time and I think what's happening here is this guy that you're driving doesn't know about the big show.

3:26Yes, quite possibly. Because if he did why would he be talking?

3:29Keyzie:Exactly. So something has to happen here either he doesn't know about the big show and you get an opportunity to introduce him to the big show or he does know about the big show and he doesn't like it and you can kick his ass out of the car and he can walk. That's right. Agreed.

3:42Mike Minogue:Can I also say too when you're on your way home from work especially after a hard day's yakka yakka your way home is you unwinding so if you're ritual a lot of people are ritualistic about the way they listen and do stuff, it would get on my nerves as well.

3:54Keyzie:Yeah.

3:54Mike Minogue:I tend to make love to unwind, but... I think I have figured out the issue that we're facing. Yeah, it's pretty clear. Meetpattynips69 at gmail.com. If you ever need advice on anything, feel free to get in touch. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki.

4:10Keyzie:Smashing pumpkins there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday night. I lost my bearings there, fellas. Not for the first time today, actually, mate. We've been worried about your brain. And once again, you're slipping, brother. Yeah, I am.

4:24Mike Minogue:Try and lock in on this segment, Chase, because I need you, man. What's on the news? No, don't. With me, Casey.

4:37Mike Minogue:Fellas, massive surfing competition on in Raglan over the weekend. Did you see that? Oh, it's on everybody's lips. It's on everybody's lips. Well, it might not, you know, but it was a World Surf League event. It was happening in Raglan. If you're into surfing, big deal, huge deal. Looked like a lovely time out there. Actually, great weather for it. Cold. God, it'd be cold, wouldn't it, fellas?

4:56Keyzie:Yeah, it'd be nippy.

4:57Mike Minogue:Yeah. Anyway, one of the photographers was attacked by what initially was believed to have been a shark. Now, this happened over the weekend, so it's old news. However, they've come out now and they've looked at the bite. Sorry, what is it? Huh? It's old news. That part was old news. Oh. But they've looked at the bite, right? He's gone to hospital, the photographer. they've looked at the bite and they've gone, actually, I don't think there was a shark. I think it was maybe a sea lion. Did it bite his foot off? No, not off. Just bit it, nibbled at it.

5:25Keyzie:Ah. But what was he doing in the water in the first place? He's a photographer at a surf competition. Because it would have got his camera all wet and it would have been like water all over the lens and got into the mechanics.

5:36Mike Minogue:You sounded like you knew what you were talking about until you said got into the mechanics.

5:41Keyzie:Well, you know. Yeah, no, 100%. I mean, from the shore, I get it,

5:45Mike Minogue:but you can't be standing in the middle of the surf clicking away. No, he's got a waterproof camera. He's out there in the water getting water-based shots. And you can see on the surf cam there, way in the distance, him struggling and then a jet ski hoons out to him and picks him up, brings him back to the beach. They help him off. He's hobbling. Saw a photo of his foot on his Instagram there. I'd be hobbling too if a shark bit my foot off. That's just me. It sounds like a jet ski bit his foot off. Yeah. So what are you saying? The knee down. Go on. No, no, no, no, no. It's just a bite mark. He can still walk.

6:16Keyzie:I think what happened is one of the surfboards went over the top of him and the fin on the bottom of the surfboard sliced his foot off. It didn't come clean up, but he's fine. Very rocky there. Can I say that? It could have been a rock.

6:31Mike Minogue:Well, no, because it had bite marks. Rocks don't leave bite marks. Well, they had lacerations, you know. It's very similar. Well, it wasn't lacerations.

6:37Keyzie:Well, you get the rocks with the oyster shells on them. That can resemble. I'll tell you what, I had some oysters at my 10-year wedding anniversary the other night. Delicious.

6:44Mike Minogue:Actually, I tried an oyster over the weekend for the first time ever. I didn't mind it. Did your foot fall off? No. Neither did this guy. He was bitten by something. And the point I'm trying to make is that they're not sure whether it was a shark or a sea lion or what it was. So they're saying sea creature. He was bitten by a sea creature. So the news is a guy has been bitten by something. The other day. The other day.

7:09Keyzie:We're not sure what it is. Like a week ago. No, it wasn't.

7:15Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

7:21Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Smashing pumpkins there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. Now, fellas, earlier in the show, in the four to five hours, I was talking about the fact that being in the CBD now, I've suddenly noticed something happening right under my massive schnoz, and that is drug deals. Yeah. Happening all over the place. Once you see one, you get an eye for it. And I saw four today.

7:43Mike Minogue:Yeah.

7:43Keyzie:four drug deals. And I thought, geez, that's a business I could get into. You know, maybe a bit of drug running, something like that. Sure. So we were talking about the possibility of that through the show. People were ringing up, putting their orders in. It was going pretty bloody well.

7:57Mike Minogue:We weren't talking about the possibility. You were running a drug slinging operation through the big show. Yeah. Using the listeners. I personally didn't feel comfortable with it. No, you sound like you conned onto it pretty quickly. Well, I'm just trying to distance myself. Oh, sure. I can imagine why you would. But unfortunately, there's a recording of it. Well, there is a recording because Jase went for a wee and then he didn't come back in and then this is what we heard next. Hodaki, are you there? You g'day. Is that Keezy?

8:19Keyzie:Yeah, it's Keezy. Is that you, mate? Yeah, it's me. What's up? It's hoody J, mate. Listen, I'm sorry. I was going out going for a squirt in the bars. The bloody coppers have just pulled through the bloody door here. There's a sickest... Yeah, mate, I'm just telling the fellas that I'm just... I've got to do the radio. It's live at the... Please don't worry about the bomb now! There's 10 of them. It's just a mess. Taking you in the toilet, man. Well, I'm just in the toilet. What were you doing? I didn't know how they... Yeah, I'm on my knees. I'm on my knees.

8:49Mike Minogue:I'm on the ground.

8:50Keyzie:Okay, all right, hang up.

8:51Mike Minogue:I don't want to be important in this. Hang up, hang up. Hang up, hang up. Okay, so I've got to drop him loose, Mogi. Wow. He's gone. He's gone. So he's obviously got stung already for the hodaki... For the drug deal. The drug deal. It might have been some kind of sicko shit he was up to in the toilet. Well, maybe, but it sounded pretty serious. Yeah, probably both. So he's been arrested. All right. And that's the end of the Hodaki Big Show's drug running scheme, I guess. Yeah, it's a shame, isn't it? It is a shame, actually. It is a shame. Oh, well, look. But Hoity J probably taking the rest of the week off at least, I would say.