COLD CUTS: Hot All The Time

0:00Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keyzie. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

0:07Keyzie:Rolling Stones there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. Now, fellas, I've got something that's bugging me at the moment. Is it bugging you? Does it bug you, man? Yeah, it does bug me. Oh, God.

0:19Mike Minogue:It's been bugging me!

0:24Keyzie:And it may be because I'm a Westie, and it may be because I live out West, and it's a bit rougher out west. It's not your Ponson B's. It's not your Grey Lins and stuff. And as I mentioned earlier in the show, I went to the movies with my wife on Sunday. And I don't know if you guys have the same thing as I do, which I get really annoyed by the lack of savoury options at the movies. Oh, yes. Like you go there, you've got your fizzy drinks, you've got your ice creams, you've got your popcorns, and it just, none of that appeals to Hoody J.

0:58Mike Minogue:So is popcorn not savoury? It's got butter on it and salt. Actually, my wife said that.

1:02Keyzie:My wife said there is salty popcorn, but you know that I hate popcorn. Oh, you hate popcorn. What I said, I take your point. I guess you could say that's savoury. Right, but you want more options. I want some savoury options. I want maybe, you know. Like a scotch egg. Like your hot dogs. Yes. Maybe little mini cheese platters. A cheese scone? No, not a cheese scone, Keezy. Okay, sorry, I'm just. What about toad in the hole? Toad in the hole. Maybe a toad in the hole with a bit of sauce. Pigs in a blanket. Maybe a little bowl of spicy dumplings, for example.

1:36Mike Minogue:A bowl of dumplings.

1:37Keyzie:Things like that. Because it puts me off going to the movies because I go, oh, what am I going to eat while I'm watching the movie? My wife only goes to the movie because she gets an ice cream. Can I just say they can barely get popcorn right? How do you think they're going to go with spicy dumplings down there? You know, old mate, a 16-year-old covered in zits. How do you think he's going to go nukeing your dumplings and leaving it sitting there under the heat lamp for eight hours? Yeah, no, I think that's a fair point. Yeah, it'll be inedible. Well, just, you know, just like a sort of smorgasbord type scenario.

2:10Oh, you're talking about a bae marie. You're talking about a Valentine's set-up where you can go and, you know, all you can eat. Yes, and curries and roast chicken. I'd love that. Ham.

2:21Mike Minogue:You would love that, Kesey. I'd love to have a buffet at the front of the movies.

2:26Keyzie:And I've just got to say too, which really got deep inside me on the day, because you know I get a real bugbear about people eating popcorn next to me. It was essentially an absolutely empty cinema. Except. An empty cinema. There was probably, and I'm not joking, three other people in there. What were you watching? Talkback.

2:50Mike Minogue:No, carry on, Jase.

2:51Keyzie:And this dude and his partner came and sat one seat away from me and my wife, and he chatted the whole way through the movie, but worse than that, had a packet of shapes. You know, the little crackers? That was really crinkly that he crinkled all the way through the movie. You know, the beauty about shapes, Jase. What's that, mate? They're savoury. Yeah, did he offer me any? No! What was the movie? I told you earlier in the show, 28 years later. It was shit.

3:26Mike Minogue:Oh, that's right. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

3:32Keyzie:Led Zeppelin there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time is 5.39. Now, Kesey, while you were doing breakfast, we came up with a new segment, which we think you'll love, eh, Moogie? Well, I think so. Oh, wow, okay. That's because you sort of love a lot of segment-y stuff. It's sort of repeatable. I do. You do. It's classic radio sort of chat fodder.

3:53Mike Minogue:Yes. Yeah, I'm a fan of just straight down the middle classic radio stuff. Yeah, that's right. I mean, I heard your show last week and it was just meat and two veg. Yeah, it was good stuff. I haven't heard that kind of radio for years. But anyway, we thought we'd take a leaf out of your book and we've come up with this. Push that. Yeah, that one there. I don't know.

4:18You've got me there The Big Show Would You Rather Wow

4:23Mike Minogue:How good is it? That is genius I like that Would You Rather Yeah So like you've got to pick between two things Yes That is very clever

4:30Keyzie:Would you rather A or B Yeah Yeah Sort of thing So we started There was some that were online I don't know if you've heard that That 100 Men vs. a Gorilla Sort of there That sort of stuff But we started riding our own didn't we? Yeah, we did, mate. Oh, this is clever. Okay, all right. Have you got it there, man? Yeah, you've got it there. I've got it here. Okay, so this is it. Are you ready? Yes. Here we go. Would you rather be permanently too hot so you're just always sweating? Right, that doesn't sound very good. Or be the perfect temperature all the time but have$10 million? Ooh.

5:14Mike Minogue:Wait, so this is the... Ooh, jeez. You go first, Jase.

5:18Keyzie:That is a toughie, actually. You can't give them a clue, Casey. That's part of it because then it ruins it. Sorry, it was permanently sweaty and hot? You're so hot that you're sweating all the time. You know how you can't get comfortable? Yes, yes. Like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, when you're in Vietnam. Yeah, basically. Okay. Or I could be the perfect temp and have$10 million. Yes. Jeez. But that's tax-free. It's tax-free? Yeah. Like it's just in my account. Yeah. I can use it and access it any time for whatever I want. That's right. No questions asked on that one. Bloody hell. Any questions to help you, man?

5:55Mike Minogue:Surely it's not.

6:00Mike Minogue:Come on, Jase, man. You can do this. Have you got any questions, Keezy, man? Sure. So when you're really hot constantly and that's it. Yeah. And the other one is you're the perfect temperature always. All the time. Yeah. And you get$10 million, no questions asked. Yes. Yeah. I mean, I'm pretty certain on which one I'm selecting. I mean, where are you leaning there, Margie? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I like a good sweat. I like a good sweat. I love a good sweat. But you could still. Because that's the thing, because when it's cold. Yes. You're hot. And I'd far prefer that than being.

6:38Keyzie:Because I reckon if you save, imagine what you would save. Yeah. I could get rid of my heat pump, for example. No power bills. T-shirts the whole time. Singlets. Cold showers. Yes. The other one gives you tea. You would save a fortune. You would, man. Think of all the savings. Yeah. In jackets. Even if you went to the snow. You could swim all year round. You could. In the ocean there. Yeah.

7:04Mike Minogue:But you get 10. Far. out actually. Can you just lock one in Jack? Can you just, and then I can select the one I'm going to select and I'll hopefully Well what would you go for Keezy? Well obviously I'd go for the second one, the one where you're the perfect temperature at all times and you get a whole lot of cash no questions asked Yeah I'm going to go for the too hot I'm going to go for the too hot because that sounds warm Yeah and I mean Right

7:33Keyzie:Like I'm thinking of going to some cold places for a holiday and be warm and I'll be warm the whole time. Well, you won't just be warm, you'll be hot. I'll be hot. You'll be too hot. I won't have to pack any extra clothes or anything like that.

7:44Mike Minogue:But the second one, you get all this cash.

7:46Keyzie:Actually, lock an A for me, Keezy.

7:47Mike Minogue:So you're both going A and I'm going B? Yeah. Okay.

7:53That was fun. It's good. We'll do another one in five minutes.

7:57Mike Minogue:Oh, really? The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

8:06Keyzie:Aerosmith there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday night at the time, 5.48. Fellas, I have a habit of leaving things lying around. Yeah. Wallets. Yes. Keys, sunglasses, jackets. I've lost about four jackets in the last year. Headphones. You sort of name it. Keep cups. Keep cups. Yeah. Yeah, they're gone. It always sort of comes to a head, of course, when you're leaving the house and you're in a bit of a hurry. Yeah, ooh, I need that. Ooh, just crack. Ooh. And I'm dashing out there. Anyway, I'm up and down. I'm looking for my wallet a couple of days ago. Can't find it. Well, I've got a tracker in my wallet so that I can find it because it always happens that it makes a little ding, ding, ding sound.

8:49So it's going, I'm on my phone app. It's saying I'm really close to it. It's saying that it's making a noise, but I can't hear anything. I'm walking all over the house. You're far away. You're hot, you're cold. You're hot, you're cold. Effing and jeffing. Effing and jeffing. Fuming I was, omping up and down the hallway. And eventually I find it. It's in the washing machine.

9:08Keyzie:The washing machine is on. It's the only thing I can think of. I open up the washing machine. Yeah, I left it in my jeans there. And it's completely buggered. I had about, you know, 15 grand in there. It's completely buggered. Yeah, petty cash. Petty cash, yeah. And all my cards are in there. All that stuff was okay. The wallet's a little bit rugged. But I was just wondering what's the dumbest thing that you've left in there, Jizz? excuse the dumbest thing I think back in the day I remember when the girls were little and stuff and you know you're a bit tired a bit blurry eyed and so forth and you know I was doing the washing and came back in and was into the lounge and was like something's where's where's my baby where did I put the baby and she didn't have a tracker on her or anything like that.

10:07Keyzie:No. Back in those days, Moggy. They often don't. You know, and I totally inadvertently just chucked her in the wash in her onesie. Right. Fortunately, it had only been going for about, you know, 30 seconds. She was a bit woozy. She was a bit, you know, and of course at that stage, it's just the water coming in, so she was very wet and damp, so I had to bloody change her and stuff again.

10:28Mike Minogue:Was that a top loader or a front loader?

10:30Keyzie:A top loader. Yeah, wow.

10:31Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, so that's probably the stupidest I've done, yeah, I'd say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just when you leave a tissue in your pocket. Oh, yeah. But after that story, I mean, I should have told that one first. Yeah.

10:48Keyzie:But tissues are an absolute bastard because they go all through the wash. It gets all over your hoodies and that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, it is annoying. And it's very hard to get off unless you've got one of those roller things. Yeah, yeah. You know?

10:58Mike Minogue:Yeah, you're right. That is worse. That's a shocker, man. Yeah, it's not that. Oh, it's taken me right back to when I've put a tissue in my pocket. Yeah, yeah, yeah.