COLD CUTS: Keyzie News Special

0:00Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keyzie. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

0:07Keyzie:Guns. Roses there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 5.38.

0:15Mike Minogue:Hey, fellas, it's time for this. What's on the news? With me, Keyzie. That's right, what's on the news? Are we still doing this, are we? Chase, not at the start, man. Not at the very start. Sorry, what he means is, are we still doing this, are we? That's just not how it came across. Yeah, what he's saying is, but it was just the tone, sorry. Yeah, I got my tone wrong. Are we still doing this? Yeah. That sounded worse. Oh, did it? No, sorry, can I? Yes. Are we still doing this? You guys do like this? I thought we kicked this to the curb. No, we didn't. What do you mean? I thought we kicked this to the curb.

1:02Mike Minogue:No, we didn't. We're still doing it. Yay. I can, though. Do you want me to... Is it current? Well, of course it's current. It's What's in the News with me, Keezy. Well, if you give me a chance to read the article... We'll get on with it. You might find that it's actually really interesting and super informative. All right, here we go, fellas. Scientists... Oh, God.

1:26Keyzie:Sounds like one of his stories he tells when he's with the ladies. I've said one word. Fake news.

1:33Mike Minogue:It's not fake news. It's real. Scientists have discovered that hedgehogs. What scientist is discovering hedgehogs? No, well, you've got to let me finish the sentence, man. They've been around for ages. This is the problem with this segment. It's old news. Totally.

1:51Keyzie:Since the beginning of man, there's been hedgehogs, Kesey. Since before man there was hedgehogs

1:57Mike Minogue:Well we don't know if hedgehogs predate man I mean that's How the hell are we supposed to know that?

2:02Keyzie:What did the scientists say?

2:04Mike Minogue:Well if you let me finish it Scientists have discovered that hedgehogs can hear ultrasonic sounds Up to about 85 kilohertz No I know what you're doing Far beyond the human hearing limit of 20 kilohertz They've just found out that hedgehogs No Don't do it I don't know what you're talking about Are you setting this up? No You're setting this up for a Sonic the Hedgehog gag? Oh, my God. That's hilarious. I'm actually not. No, I actually wasn't. So they've discovered that basically hedgehogs can hear four times higher a register, ultrasonic.

2:39Keyzie:What? Hedgehogs don't have ears. What do you mean they don't have ears? Have you ever seen a hedgehog wandering around your backyard with a couple of flappers on it? turning around looking at you and saying, sorry, what was that?

2:55Mike Minogue:Well, no, I haven't, because they're nocturnal and I'm not out during the night time. Can I ask you a question in response to this news, Keezy? What difference does that make to me, one way or the other? Well, it's just interesting. It's just what was in the news today.

3:11Keyzie:I don't care if it can hear my thoughts.

3:13Mike Minogue:Well, it can't.

3:14Keyzie:I bloody hope for the hedgehog's sake it can't hear my thoughts right now. Well, actually, just reading here, hedgehogs do have ears.

3:22Mike Minogue:They have specialised bones that efficiently transmit high-frequency sound, similar to animals like bats. So the reason this is good is because in the UK, hedgehogs are about to go extinct. They're really worried about them, and so they can put up things like ultrasonic fences almost that stop them from running onto roads and stuff. I'll give you a specialised bone. Moggy.

3:48Mike Minogue:That was what was in the news with me, Keezy. Is that back tomorrow? Yeah. Yes. So good. Here's Green Day. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

4:01Keyzie:Soundgarden there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday night. But right now it's time for... Biddy Dad 69. Get in touch. Don't. With the fellas. I've already done my job so he doesn't need to do his I think it's better with us singing I'll be honest

4:23Mike Minogue:much I think it's way worse meetpattydips69 at gmail.com real email address get in touch if we read out your advice question on the show you get 50 bucks cash instantly man that's good money man by instantly I mean 50 bucks sure man thanks to Toledo's today's question comes from anonymous as per hello backbones and hoity J

4:46Keyzie:That's not what it says, believe me

4:48Mike Minogue:Okay, yeah, true, yeah Whatever, man It also says that this person thinks you're a handsome young fella

4:54Keyzie:She didn't say young She said you're a very handsome man

4:57Mike Minogue:You're a handsome little fella Long time listener of the podcast As a Kiwi who lives in London Backbone Cheers And back visiting New Zealand with my partner And our son visiting for a couple of weeks Back in New Zealand How do we divide our time fairly amongst visiting each other's families across the South Island. If you know what I mean. Yeah, I'm with you. Two weeks, they're back in New Zealand. How do they divide their time fairly? Where do their families live? South Island? Yeah, but where? One's in Invercargill, one's in Marlborough. Sounds. I don't know. Blenheim.

5:34Keyzie:What you could do, just flag the family.

5:37Mike Minogue:Yeah. Right, well, that's the whole purpose of coming back to New Zealand, wouldn't it be? Is it? Well, they're two Kiwis living in London. Yes. With a child, probably want to bring the child back to where my dad is from. Mogi's just yelling random stuff. Have you noticed that?

5:50Keyzie:I think he's actually finally cracked, actually, to be honest with you. He's finally cracked.

5:55Mike Minogue:I would say get the families together in one area. You know what I would do, Keezy man? What's that, Mogi? I'd get them together in one area. Okay, see. The trick would be to go somewhere nice, somewhere that people like to go on a holiday. Get yourself a nice house there. Not Airbnb, because they're thieves. Coromandel? Something along those lines. And then they can just come and stay with you and you can decide on how much time they come and spend with you. How about that? Well, if it's South Island to make it easy for them, maybe you do go like a night, like Kiteri or something like that. You know what I mean?

6:25Mike Minogue:Like a place. And people are going to work as well. Who are you coming home at this time of year and expecting everybody to just drop everything and spend time with you?

6:33Keyzie:Are you expecting when little Kesey comes? It's pretty close now, actually. No, it's not.

6:39Mike Minogue:What do you mean it's pretty close? I'm not having a kid.

6:42Keyzie:I can see there being a real tug of war with the parents Yes

6:46Mike Minogue:Between my parents and my wife's parents Yes I don't think so

6:50Keyzie:A massive tug of war A huge tug of war

6:53Mike Minogue:Why is it a tug of war? Don't know No, they get on great It's a battle for custody Well, hang on That's a tug of war And instead of a rope, they're holding on to the limbs of your baby So hang on, so now I'm having a child and I've already got a custody battle on my hands. It's not looking good. You sure? We don't want to just park this yarn?

7:24I've just seen poor little Keezy there. Yeah, get in.

7:29Mike Minogue:He's the one caught up in the middle of all this. Poor fella. It doesn't stand a chance. So, yeah, look, I hope that helps, all right? The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

7:48Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Temple of the Dog there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 5.38.

7:58Mike Minogue:What's on the news? With me, Keezy. That's right, fellas. the new segment where I just sort of keep everyone abreast of what's happening in the world, important stories from across the globe. What's on the news with me? From a year ago. No, that was one time. It wasn't from a year ago. The study was from a year ago. Jase, don't... This is what you did yesterday. You just threw off my segment before I even had a chance to start. You're setting me up to fail here, man. This is already old news now. Yeah, totally. You've been banging on for so long. You're going to get on with it or what? Why are we banging on?

8:38I've been trying to...

8:41Mike Minogue:News today, fellas. Mogey.