In short
Sleep-disrupting birds at 3am; Guy Fawkes/fireworks stress for pet owners; advice segment; sponsorship ideas for the Mongol Rally; friends drifting apart after someone gets a partner (“old what’s her name”).
Guests/backgrounds
No named guests appear; it’s the hosts Jace, Mike, and Kesey (Keyzie/Keezy).
Key claims
Birds chirp nonstop during mating season (worse in spring/summer and with daylight savings); earplugs can help. Fireworks can be a multi-day neighborhood nuisance and a major trigger for dogs. Sponsorship requires being a “mega star” and offering sponsors clear value.
Notable examples
A dog named Roo panicked for years until Guy Fawkes became “no big deal.” A cat “Jizz” didn’t react to rockets. Listener “Sean Wilson” asks about sponsoring a Prague-to-Kazakhstan Mongol Rally car.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOBirds Chirping at Dawn
0:45 to 2:58
Discussion about annoying early morning birds and sleepless nights.
“it's to attract a mate that's the time of the day that they're trying to attract a mate Like, no one's talking back to him.”
Reliving Firecracker Memories
2:58 to 3:56
Sharing experiences with a previous dog and firecrackers during Guy Fawkes.
“I was like, how about these bloody birds?”
Guy Fawkes Celebrations
3:56 to 6:28
Discussing Guy Fawkes celebrations and personal preferences regarding fireworks.
“Fellas, we were sitting in our lounge last night and de-dooge, de-dooge, firecrackers.”
Listener Advice Segment
6:28 to 8:20
Reading listener emails and giving humorous advice.
“Well, if that's Guy Fawkeson 100%, I love it.”
Seeking Sponsorship for the Mongol Rally
8:20 to 12:29
Discussion on how to secure sponsors for a unique rally expedition.
“You can get yourself a$50 Reburger voucher if we read it out on the show.”
Reflecting on Young Love and Friendships
14:00 to 15:10
The hosts reminisce about the dynamics of young love and its impact on friendships.
“when you say hang out in inverted commas, you mean pash.”
Lessons Learned from Relationships
15:10 to 16:02
They discuss the importance of maintaining friendships while in a relationship and share personal anecdotes.
“and then eventually they realise, hang on, it's great having a partner, but you do need your mates as well.”
The Role of Partners vs. Friends
16:02 to 16:31
The conversation turns to the unique benefits that romantic partners provide compared to friends.
“Jeez, you know, look, girlfriends and boyfriends can offer things that friend friends can't offer.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keyzie. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.
0:06Keyzie:Living colour there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 5.49. I had a shocking sleep last night. Shocking. Oh no. I laid awake till around about 1 o 'clock just thinking about my life. Oh yeah. It's the first time to do it. Rather than sleeping I just have a little think about stuff there and... finally managed to drift off to eat beautiful sleepovers and until around about 3.30am got this local bird gets up at 3.30am in the morning and just starts yarning yeah just starts running his yap to nobody because birds when they're chirping away there it's to attract a mate that's the time of the day that they're trying to attract a mate Like, no one's talking back to him.
0:54All the birds know he's a punisher.
0:56Mike Minogue:Well, he started too early, that's why. He's too early. But he wants to be first. Early bird gets the worm. Or that nice bird ass, if you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, in this case. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no one gets back to him. So he goes through about, and I'm not, he's got a really annoying voice as well, and I think that's part of the problem. The bird. Like, it just goes straight through you. Like, you can imagine all the other birds are like, oh, God. What does it sort of sound like? Imagine having to...
1:25Really? Yeah. Wow. Does that over and over again. Until around about 5.30 he gives up. Right. So a couple of hours of that. And then he tags in about another half a dozen other species, and then they all start yarning. Right. So that goes to about 7, and then they all go about their days and get some worms and stuff.
1:46Keyzie:And they all fly away and go feeding and getting coffees and that sort of thing. But when I tell you, you cannot sleep through it, man. So I'm awake at 3. And I don't know what to do about it because all I'm just lying there thinking, it's probably too dark to shoot him. Like, how would I find him? I would need night vision goggles. Have you got any, Keezy? I don't have any. I don't know why you'd think I'd have some. If I was thinking about someone that would have night vision goggles, you would be my first bet. Me? Yes, totally. And fatigues. And fatigues. I bet you're in the territorials. That's how I think of you.
2:22Mike Minogue:I mean, look, I'm flattered, I guess, that you guys would think I have night vision goggles.
2:27Keyzie:Well, I just, you strike me as a gadget kind of guy. Yeah.
2:31Mike Minogue:You like your gadgets. I like my gadgets. Yeah, yeah. I don't have night vision. I feel like we're getting off topic here. Right, okay. But I don't know what to do. Apparently it's worse because it didn't used to be like this in the winter. So I think now that they're into their mating and all that sort of carry on, Daylight savings, of course, doesn't help, but the warmer weather plays into it. So spring and summer, early summer, it's at its worst, apparently. So I've got another two, three months of this, and I can't deal with it. So I wake my missus up about it. I was like, how about these bloody birds?
3:01She's like, what? I can't hear anything. I said, these birds, they're chirping. She's like, what? I said, the birds. You can't tell me you can't hear the birds. She's like, I was asleep. Yeah. So I can't talk to her about it. She doesn't get it. Oh, man, sorry to hear that. But what can I do, Kezi? I'm looking for a solution. not sympathy.
3:17Mike Minogue:Well, I mean a million times. I'm looking for solutions or night vision goggles, not sympathy. I've told you a million times, have you tried wearing earplugs? Yes. Right. Work? Yeah. Well, there you go. Oh, yeah. Oh, sweet as then. Cheers, man. Actually, I do have some Arabian night goggles you can borrow if you want. I don't know what that means, but I don't like the sound of it. No, no, trust me. I'll bring them in, you try them on. You're a sicko, Jeezy. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.
3:51Keyzie:Stone Temple Pilots here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time is 5.27. Fellas, we were sitting in our lounge last night and de-dooge, de-dooge, firecrackers. Of course. Firecrackers? Firecrackers. And my wife and I, as we always do in that scenario, we immediately tensed up. Because you remember back in the day when we had our dog. What was that dog called? Roo. Yeah, that's right. She was batshit. She would go batshit crazy. And I mean, she was a farm dog. She would bark her ass off all night. She was a collie, right? She was a collie. And so we'd tense up. And then we realised that for the first time in over 10 years, Guy Fawkes is going to occur and it's no big deal to us anymore.
4:34You'd be stressed out for quite a long period before because it starts early and then it goes for another few days afterwards. And you'd be coming in here like a nod of nerves, effing and jeffing, having to deal with it. You're freaking out about the dog freaking out about the fireworks. The dog was thinking that you were freaking out about something, so the dog was freaking out, and then all of a sudden there's an explosion, and the dog's going to be nuts. Yeah, totally.
4:57Mike Minogue:And I was freaking out about Jase, freaking out. I wasn't, well, but I thought it was pretty funny.
5:01Keyzie:And it was seriously so bad. I used to hate it. And this is her drug to the eyeballs as well, you know what I mean? I know, but you gave her methamphetamine. That's not the drug. It's not? Do you do Guy Fawkes, Kenzie? You do. Do you do?
5:21Mike Minogue:Do I do Guy Fawkes? Yeah, do you do?
5:23Keyzie:Do you like Guy Fawkes?
5:25Mike Minogue:Do you do? Mogey. I used to love Guy Fawkes as a kid. Yeah. But that was back in the day where we'd go to the stock cars, right? Stock cars and tow dunga there. Stockings, yes. And then there'd be fireworks afterwards, like a proper display. Oh. I mean, there was one or two occasions when I was a kid where we'd have bought fireworks. Oh, is that all? Yeah, have the cousins around and do it. But it always didn't live up to the expectations of going somewhere and watching the proper show. Right. So to be honest, I don't really like fireworks. It doesn't affect me. I don't have a dog or a young kid.
5:58Mike Minogue:But I think having fun that can potentially keep your entire neighbourhood up at 10 or 11 o 'clock at night. I'm not that keen on it.
6:05Keyzie:Because I would have picked, this would have been my pick for you. Here we go. That you and your wife would have packed a picnic and sat in a park somewhere to watch the fireworks. That's just me. This is the thing. What? There's nothing Kesey likes more. Surprise picnic thrown by his wife. They go out. Then the last thing she does, after they've had dessert and had their walk around, she gets out a sparkler for Kesey to wrap the night up.
6:28Mike Minogue:Is that true, Kesey? Yeah, yeah. Well, if that's Guy Fawkeson 100%, I love it.
6:33Keyzie:And I also want to make this point too. I don't want to be like those reformed smokers. You know, who are holier than thou. My heart and my head are still with all the pet owners out there. Yeah. Because that is a frickin' night. Did you say pet owners?
6:46Mike Minogue:Pet owners. That's right. I heard something else.
6:49Keyzie:You know, because I've still got Jizz. Your cat. My cat. Oh, well, Jizz hasn't experienced a rocket. As I said, there was a little bit going on last night. And we were like, oh, where's Jizz? And then we opened in the front door and she just strutted her shit, man. So she didn't care. She didn't care at all. She was like, whatevs. She's pretty staunch old, Jizz.
7:10Mike Minogue:So what I'm gathering from you here, Jase, is that you are pleased that your dog is dead.
7:19Keyzie:I'm not pleased my dog is dead. That's what I'm hearing. I'm just saying it is a relief to not have to go through that. At this time of year. At this time of the year.
7:29Mike Minogue:Right, okay, I was just checking.
7:30Keyzie:And Mogi's right, because we live in West Auckland. I don't know if you've ever been out west, Mogi. Yeah. It's wild out there, eh, Keezy?
7:36Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't go out there, Mo. You won't last a day, man.
7:40Keyzie:There's mawording kids, and the fireworks tended to start like three days before Guy Fawkes and then go for about three days afterwards. So it turned into like a seven-day nightmare in my household. Thus I'd come into work effing and jeffing and stressed.
7:55Mike Minogue:Also, do we call it fireworks or do we call them firecrackers? Firecrackers? Crackers! The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
8:09Keyzie:The police here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. Let's give out some advice. Meet Patty Nips 69 at gmail.com.
8:22Mike Minogue:Get in touch. The fangles. Meet Patty Nips 69 at gmail.com. It's a real email address. please do get in touch. You simply must. You simply must. You can get yourself a$50 Reburger voucher if we read it out on the show. And we are just starting to run a wee bit low. Are we? Now people might be listening thinking, oh, what, you haven't read my question. A lot of them...
8:44Keyzie:Yeah, filth. Yeah, I can imagine, Keezy.
8:47Mike Minogue:One before was from a guy who was having ear pain whenever Hoity J was speaking, listening, and then he realised that it was because his honker was sticking out through the headphones and into his ear. So just stuff like that, we can't really give advice on that.
9:01Keyzie:Well, I mean, we could. Really? I would have been happy to give advice on that. What would your advice have been? Well, I'm not going to do it now because then that loser would get a$50 rebid about you.
9:11Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So just keep them coming in. MeetPattyNip69 at gmail.com. This one comes from Anonymous. Hey, team, keep this anonymous or not. Up to you guys. Oh, up to us. Okay. Not anonymous. Really? Okay. Well, why don't we see what it says first? Sean Wilson. What about him? It's who sent it in. Oh. I need some advice on getting sponsors. Me and a couple of mates are taking on the Mongol Rally next year. Can you call it that? Yeah, it's in Mongolia. Oh. It's a self-supported car rally from Prague to Kazakhstan and basically the shittest car that you can buy. I've heard of this thing and it's something I've always wanted to do.
9:45Keyzie:And I think we've actually interviewed someone that's done that. We should do it. They'll be good in the Mongol Rally for sure. Where's it from again?
9:53Mike Minogue:Prague to Kazakhstan. Yeah, it's got a long way. Yeah, yeah. We're just trying to rustle up some sponsors and thought I'd ask some advice on how to go about doing it, especially since you fellas managed to do deals with Reeburger and Diamonds on Richmond, which I imagine must run into the millions, if not billions of dollars per year. Any help appreciated? Well, this is a difficult one.
10:12Keyzie:First and foremost, and the most important thing, you've got to have some talent.
Read the full transcript
10:16Mike Minogue:Yeah. You've got to be a mega star. Yeah, if you're doing a radio show. Yeah. But they're driving across, you know, so it'll be cool, like online content. But what do they need? Do they need gas money? What do they need? Well, they need to pay for the car. They need to get over their flights. They need, you know. Yeah, right. Pay the entry fees. It's an expensive endeavour. But what's the sponsor? You've got to think what's the sponsor going to get out of it. Well, is one of them sick or anything? Is one of them sick? No. Because it's hard if people are just going away to have fun. Like, if we're going to start doing that, then I would like to get some sponsors so I can go to Europe next year again.
10:50Keyzie:Yeah, well, I'd like sponsorship for the same thing. I've never even been to bloody Europe. Exactly. Like, before anyone thinks they're giving these losers sponsorship, they should be giving it to Hoity J to get over to Europe because they simply must.
11:02Mike Minogue:No, but that's like you have money. You've got heaps of money to get over there. No, I don't. Dog squad money.
11:06Keyzie:Yeah, I've burned through that, man. Burn through the dog squad money. Sure. I don't know, man. I guess it's family and friends is the first place you start, right? Yeah. It's 5 ,000 Ks. It's a long way from Prague to Kazakhstan. Four and a half, 5 ,000 Ks, Kesey. Yeah, it's a bloody long way, Rhodes. It's a fair trip. Fun, though. Shit, that'd be fun. Shocking. Yeah, I don't know. It's very, very tricky. I don't know if Reeburger would be interested, because you could offer them free burgers as they went around, but I don't know if they're in Kazakhstan. Yeah, and I don't know that Diamonds on Richmond would be any good either, because, you know, what's a ring to them when you're going through the desert and stuff?
11:45Mike Minogue:Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I guess we could hit up the Black Clash. Oh, I mean, I'm not doing it. We're giving him suggestions. We're not now working for him, are we? Is that what's going on here? Maybe we could, you know, because we're a great show, we could talk to some of our sponsors. Like, for example, we could talk to the Dunedin Beer Festival, which we're going to this weekend, and see if they want to sponsor his car. Well, maybe they could have some of the big deduge, the beer that Emerson's have made for us down there. No. No? Okay, well, that's that sort of deal. I don't know what to do. I think just quit.
12:17Quit while you're ahead. There's a good idea while it lasted, man, but that's shocking. People say follow your dreams. That's just... That's shit. That's bullshit. That's bucket list stuff, but it sounds like it's on someone else's bucket list. It's too hard for you, Sean. It sounds like the bucket is full of poos.
12:31Mike Minogue:Yeah, exactly. But let me know how you go, though, because I'll be keen to do it. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
12:40Keyzie:In XS there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. This Thursday afternoon, the time is 25 minutes past five o 'clock. We were talking about the fowl, you know, when you have your group of friends, your fowler friends, after, you know, when you leave school and you play sport together, you're flat together, you go partying together, you do all the sort of fun stuff, and then one of your mates falls in love with someone and you never see them again. They just bugger off. And then you were talking about one of your great mates and you were inseparable, Mogi. That's right. And he found someone and you didn't see him for a year and then he came snivelling back to your doorway.
13:17He did. And to be honest, the connection was gone. Yes. At that point. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. We went mates again.
13:23Mike Minogue:Because I've certainly had that. Like, at high school, I vividly remember, like, dating a high school. This is when I'm freaking, I don't know, 14 or something. What are the teachers? What was the guts? Who were you dating? No, I wasn't dating a teacher. You're getting me mixed up with another member of the big show. So when I was at school, I remember having a girlfriend who might have been, like, 14 or something, and I was 14. And then at lunchtime, instead of playing touch rugby with all my mates, which is what we did every lunchtime, I was like, nah, I'm going to go hang out by the canteen with so-and-so.
13:53Mike Minogue:And I did that for like a week. Was that her name? And then we broke up. Her name was so-and-so. Where is she from? No, she's from Tauranga.
13:59Keyzie:When you say you're going to hang out with so-and-so, when you say hang out in inverted commas, you mean pash.
14:08Mike Minogue:No, like hold hands and stuff by the canteen and sort of share a juicy.
14:11Keyzie:Oh, well, I remember when I first fell in love, and this was after school, and my mates would say to me, do you want to have a game of marbles? And I'd be like, oh, I'm going to go and hang out with what's-her-name. Oh, what's-her-name? Yeah, yeah. Where is she from? Oh, she was just a friend, a girl I met through. That's an unusual name though. It is. I think it's Romanium. Yeah, right. Oh, wow. And they'd go, oh, okay, fine. And what was the story? So you play marbles generally and then what, you go to your after-school job cleaning chimneys? Yeah, I was doing chimneys at that time, actually, yeah.
14:50Keyzie:And then, you know, but this is the thing, and they just disappear, and you lose that connection with your mates. You do. You do. I think it's a different story if you've been mates with them for years. Lots of my other mates, if they had have done that, then that would have been different. But, yeah, I always found it an odd bastard.
15:08Mike Minogue:It's always an initial thing. In my experience, it's an initial thing, and then eventually they realise, hang on, it's great having a partner, but you do need your mates as well. You need both. I need both. Look, it's learnings, isn't it, fellas? It really is. Can we just put it down to learnings? It is learnings. And also, if there's anyone listening right now who's worried that maybe they're doing that right now to their mates, they should reach out to your friends and go have a beer or whatever. Yeah. What are the people saying there, fellas? We have one here from Jonas, and he said when he got his first girlfriend as a young fella there, he was a shocking bastard.
15:44His words, not mine. Completely ditched his friends and was the first in the group to do so, and nobody had ever experienced that before. Eventually things ended with her, and he returned to the friend group, tailed between his legs, and was fully accepted back. Granted, came with a couple of years of ribbing. And that's the thing. Somebody's got to learn the lesson, don't they? On behalf of the whole group? Yes. And then you're aware not to do that? Yeah, that's right. It's got to be spread out a little bit. Jeez, you know, look, girlfriends and boyfriends can offer things that friend friends can't offer.
16:13Correct. Like what? Well, you think about old so-and-so. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, half a juicy. Half a juicy, you're right, actually.
16:21Mike Minogue:What ever happened to so-and-so? I think she moved in with whatchamacallit. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.
From the publisher
On today's bonus best bits from this week, the birds are back, there's more fireworks chat and we might be your next sponsor.
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